Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“What did you do?” Jiang Cheng hissed at him, just barely low enough to not disturb the greeting ceremony.

Wei Wuxian acted nonchalant. “What do you mean?”

“Second Master Lan is glaring at us! We’ve only just arrived today, have you already managed to make him angry somehow?”

From where they were sitting, it was easy to see that Jiang Cheng was indeed right. On the other side of the room, sitting primly next to his uncle and brother, Lan Wangji was giving Wei Wuxian a cold, impenetrable look. There wasn’t a hint of an expression on his face, but the long lashes twitched very finely when their eyes met.

Wei Wuxian straightened almost involuntarily under such scrutiny but balanced the strange reflex with a lopsided grin. Lan Wangji’s gaze shifted, then, like the mere thought of answering the smile insulted him.

Jiang Cheng elbowed him lightly enough to not make him flinch, but he turned to pout at him anyway.

“What, I haven’t done anything,” Wei Wuxian rushed to defend himself. “It’s probably just that his stuffy Lan sensibilities are offended by my mere existence!”

This was obviously a lie, and from the scrunched eyebrows of his brother, Wei Wuxian could tell he wasn’t being believed. Which was, while fair, entirely unfraternal and also a bit of a dick move when Wei Wuxian was already being glared at anyway.

It wasn’t even that big of a stretch from the truth, really! Lan Wangji was just way too easy to offend!

He’d met the man only once before, during a conference a year back, where both he and Jiang Cheng were expected to do nothing but not embarrass their sect and maybe seem capable enough cultivators to boost Yunmeng Jiang’s credibility in the eyes of the other sects.

And it had been fine at first! Jiang Cheng had obviously done nothing but scowled at everything that moved, and since Wei Wuxian had been the one moving the most, it was mainly himself. But then the first night at the banquet Jiang Cheng had been whisked away by some smaller sect’s leader to evaluate the future head of the Jiang, and Wei Wuxian had been left to his own devices.

So he’d obviously taken the opportunity to sneak out because conferences were very boring and he wasn’t needed there anyway.

He’d of course taken his cup of alcohol with him. It didn’t do to walk around another sect’s premises without something to keep him hydrated! The cup was only his fourth that night, but he could admit to being a little bit tipsy since he stumbled into someone only a few corners away from the main hall.

And immediately spilled everything in the cup on the extremely clean, extremely pure white chest of the most beautiful man Wei Wuxian had ever seen.

The most beautiful and possibly the most devastatingly frigid. The elegant curve of the man’s mouth moved slightly downwards as he stared at the now ruined front of his formerly spotless robes. Then the pale gaze moved from the robes to Wei Wuxian, who was still stuck taking in the pretty face, his hold on the empty cup lax.

He defaulted immediately to nervous laughter. “Ah, sorry, sorry, who made these floors so silent, huh? Can’t hear anyone coming from around the corner!”

Wei Wuxian took his sleeve and started frantically pressing it against the wet spot with limited success in making it dryer. The man had stiffened into a statue.

“Don’t worry, we can still save your fancy robes! White, though, that’s too bad! Isn’t it a bit too tough to clean? Inconvenient color. This is why I prefer black, no one can see the stains,” he babbled. Absolutely nothing was happening to the patch of wetness. He needed a new plan.

The man was still struck speechless, but when Wei Wuxian went to open his outer layer to check the damage, he managed only to take a grasp of the neckline before strong hands encircled his wrists.

“What,” asked the man through gritted teeth, “are you doing?”

“Uh,” Wei Wuxian answered eloquently. “Taking off your robe?”

It almost looked like the man – Lan, the ‘straight from a funeral’ look was definitely theirs – had been punched in the throat, what with the way he only stared at Wei Wuxian wordlessly again. The grip on his wrists felt a bit too tight.

It was fair. Wei Wuxian had known this Lan cultivator for a minute, but he already felt bad for ruining his clothes. A man this beautiful was certainly not meant for walking around in stained robes.

“For cleaning purposes,” he added quickly, and also because he couldn’t help himself, continued with a wide grin: “Unless you were thinking of something else?”

If the look earlier had been cold, the one that replaced it was chilling to the bone. The man pulled Wei Wuxian’s grip smoothly, effortlessly off of his robe before just as quickly letting go and taking a step back.

“Pathetic,” was what the Lan said then, and with that, swiftly moved away from Wei Wuxian to the direction where he came from, probably to go and change his clothes.

Wei Wuxian was stuck staring after him, a little insulted. What, it had been an honest mistake! He’d tried to help clean the robes! It seemed that the people of the Lan sect truly were just as unyielding and humorless as he’d heard.

In any case, later he’d learned that the Lan cultivator was indeed the Second Master of the sect, peerless and esteemed Lan Wangji, infamous for being the type of stickler to rules that repelled people like Wei Wuxian out of principle.

The remainder of the conference he could feel Lan Wangji glaring at him from wherever he was in the room, somehow always finding him in the midst of people to direct his disapproval. Wei Wuxian only ever met these looks with a grin and a wave. He never got a wave back.

Anyway, a year later they had gotten an invitation to go and study in the Cloud Recesses. They were supposed to do that back during their teens, but the whole thing got postponed for reasons Wei Wuxian hadn’t been present to hear. The only thing that mattered anyway was that they were there now, twenty years of age and ready to learn the teaching of Gusu Lan.

And being glared at by Lan Wangji.

“That’s totally it,” Wei Wuxian said, giving Lan Wangji a long last look. He was very beautiful, even with the objectionable attitude.

He could feel Jiang Cheng rolling his eyes at him, but his brother did not comment on it further. They managed to stay quiet for the rest of the ceremony, then, although every now and then Wei Wuxian could feel a pair of pale eyes giving him a disdainful look.

He never caught that gaze again, though.

-

The Cloud Recesses were, while very pretty to look at, full of things that tried to actively make Wei Wuxian’s stay there miserable. Ranging from the three thousand rules to the bland food to Second Master Lan himself, nothing here was designed or desiring to make his stay more welcome.

The last one especially so.

Wei Wuxian really wasn’t one to hold on to grudges, so instead of avoiding Lan Wangji in their first class, he promptly landed himself next to the guy with an amicable smile, ready to start afresh. He did not get discouraged even when Lan Wangji’s perfectly straight posture straightened somehow further, his jaw squaring the tiniest bit like he was gritting his teeth.

“Look, ah, Wangji-xiong, I think we got off to a poor start,” he said, leaning his whole upper body on the table before him. “What do you say we try again?”

“Slouching is forbidden,” Lan Wangji replied without giving him a look, voice completely void of any kind of emotion.

Wei Wuxian, intent on making this work, pulled himself off the table. “I really am sorry for spilling that drink on you back then! I didn’t mean it, really, I didn’t see you coming!”

Lan Wangji kept his gaze pointed forward, like Wei Wuxian wasn’t even there, and did not say a word. He’d certainly heard of this quirk of Second Master Lan’s, the way he would not spare a word lest it be with a purpose, but wasn’t it a little bit stuck-up to not even answer to an apology?

“Aiyo, who would’ve thought the famed Hanguang-jun was this unyielding?” he whined. “I only spilled some wine, what’s the big deal about that?”

“Not only,” said Lan Wangji, and Wei Wuxian perked up a little for getting an answer, finally.

“What, the bigger wrong I committed was to try and help you clean it? That makes no sense.”

Lan Wangji sent him a glare, but just as quickly cast his eyes. Wei Wuxian was going to continue pressing it, but then the lecture started, and if there had been ever a question of the relation between Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren, there certainly wasn’t after the hour spent in the same space. Rule-sticklers, both uncle and the nephew, unlike any other.

The first class set the course for the upcoming weeks. Wei Wuxian would try to befriend Lan Wangji, who seemed to have decided, for no reason whatsoever, to make himself as un-befriend-able as possible. Each time Wei Wuxian approached him, the man either walked past without so much as a glance his way, or even better, completely turned around and walked off in another direction.

Wei Wuxian would wave over the courtyard, and get nothing but a glower back. He would sit next to Lan Wangji in the class, and Lan Wangji would lean ever so slightly away from him. Each time he called out ‘Lan Wangji! Wangji-xiong! Er-gege!’ he’d barely get a reaction at all.

Well, ‘Er-gege’ got Lan Wangji to snap his brush in half the first time he did it, but after that, it was like Wei Wuxian didn’t exist for a day and a half what with the lack of response to anything he said.

Maybe he wouldn’t have been so insisted about this, had it not been for the fact that Wei Wuxian both really liked a challenge, and also found Lan Wangji the most intriguing person he’d met in a while. It was obvious why there was so much high praise for Lan Wangji in the cultivation world. Everything from his face to his manners to his skills in cultivation was outstanding.

And then there was the sparring practice. The classes they were attending were mostly made to deepen their understanding of cultivation, something to add on top of the comprehensive education all of them no doubt already had. Sparring classes for the visiting cultivators were less classes and more just practice duels, something to do to show off more than anything.

Everyone had heard of the skill of the Second Jade of Lan: he was as prominent as a swordsman as he was beautiful. So, unrealistically. And when no one else in the practice field dared to approach Lan Wangji, he had no choice other than to accept Wei Wuxian’s challenge, and then they fought.

For hours. At the point where others were stopping, Wei Wuxian had only barely managed to control his exhilaration, the laughter dying off and only leaving behind brightness in his eyes and fire in his veins that Lan Wangji seemed to match up perfectly, even though it didn’t show outwardly.

No one had ever been able to beat Wei Wuxian. They were so evenly matched that when Lan Wangji did so, it was mostly because after sparring for so long, Wei Wuxian had started throwing small little quips at Lan Wangji in the heat of the moment. Something about his sword technique. It was funny until Lan Wangji knocked his sword out of his hand with what looked like a concentrated moment of pure rage.

Wei Wuxian gasped for breath, cheeks red, grinning. Lan Wangji was breathing heavily as well, though what was heavy breathing for him was mostly what it sounded like when a regular person breathed at all.

In any case, Lan Wangji’s opinion of him didn’t seem to change after that, but Wei Wuxian’s insistence on them becoming friends was even greater.

It only made sense, right? Lan Wangji might have been the world’s biggest stick-in-the-mud, but Wei Wuxian found it all the more rewarding to tease him for it. Lan Wangji didn’t pay anyone extra attention – his personal space extended to so far that it was a miracle anyone could ever pass him without feeling awkward about it.

And Lan Wangji especially wouldn’t have paid Wei Wuxian any extra attention here, had it not been for Wei Wuxian’s efforts. Back in the conference, where Wei Wuxian had committed his grave error of ruining Lan Wangji’s robes, those eyes had zeroed in on him wherever he went.

Here, Lan Wangji would not look at him, unless Wei Wuxian forced him to. By calling his name, by being a nuisance.

He just really wanted Lan Wangji to look at him. Notice him.

It was only expected, right? They were equals in cultivation. And Lan Wangji would not acknowledge that without Wei Wuxian’s help, so that’s what he did! They’d both had fun sparring, hadn’t they? Hadn’t they both felt the physicality of it, the push and the pull and the adrenaline?

Wei Wuxian had been left gasping, absolutely inspired, an d he just needed to show Lan Wangji what he was missing when he didn’t consider Wei Wuxian someone to esteem. Someone to look at.

-

It should have probably come to Wei Wuxian as no surprise that he was not the only one desperate for Lan Wangji’s attention. Ah, well, desperate was the wrong word for it, maybe. He just hadn’t thought that the guy who was engaged to his Shijie would be the one Lan Wangji would rather spend his time with, which made it all the more unpleasant when it started to seem like it.

After a few weeks of getting mostly ignored by the man, Wei Wuxian had begun to become a little apprehensive about his strategy. He was going nowhere with it, and Lan Wangji was hardly breathing in his direction, and while they were going to be here for another six months still, it felt like way too little time if this was the pace with which they were progressing.

So he was already pretty annoyed about that, and then the Peacock had gone and challenged Lan Wangji before Wei Wuxian managed, because he’d accidentally slept in and Jiang Cheng had not been gracious enough to wake him up. Now all he could do was to watch Jin Zixuan politely ask for public humiliation in the form of a duel against the Second Jade of Lan.

Lan Wangji’s eyes passed briefly on Wei Wuxian before he nodded to Jin Zixuan. They moved a little off from others and started.

It wasn’t like they weren’t allowed to practice sword fighting every day, but Lan Wangji showed up only every now and then, probably because of the amount of duties he had. They’d fought four times, even with their wins and losses, and Wei Wuxian had been thrilled for the chance to win one over him. It was a grave injustice that Jin Zixuan, of all people, would steal this from him.

“What are you glaring at the Peacock for? Didn’t you promise A-jie you wouldn’t cause trouble?” Jiang Cheng asked as if he himself hadn’t given the guy the exact same look before. Wei Wuxian scoffed.

“I’m not going to do anything,” he said. “I just find it weird that Lan Wangji would spar with someone who isn’t evenly matched with him. What a waste of time.”

“Jin Zixuan asked. Was he supposed to refuse?” Jiang Cheng looked at him like he was an idiot.

“He can do what he wants.”

“Right.” He sounded unimpressed. “It’s not like you care.”

“I don’t,” Wei Wuxian replied primly. “I just think that the Peacock is a waste of time.”

He wasn’t wrong, and Jiang Cheng should’ve agreed with him about that. They’d both heard the guy calling Yanli-jie average that one time three and a half years ago during a conference in Lanling.

There was something sharp in the gaze of his brother, who, in the end, only shook his head at him.

Wei Wuxian decidedly ignored him. Just because the Peacock seemed to have since grown to have the appropriate reaction to Shijie’s existence (immense adoration) didn’t mean he was forgiven. This only added to his crimes.

Wei Wuxian sparred with three other disciples that time, serious cultivators from the Nie sect who did not go easy on him. During the second spar, he actually managed to forget the irritation. Sparring was always kind of fun, wasn’t it? He got to show off a little, too, unlike with Lan Wangji, with whom his full attention was always completely on the fight, on trying to keep up.

He made the conscious decision not to look over at Lan Wangji and the Peacock and focused fully on his own fights. During his last spar he was actually enjoying himself enough that at a particularly clever move, he couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of him, unrestrained and bright.

A sound – people gasping? – made him turn his attention back to Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan’s fight, just in time to see Lan Wangji righting himself from what must’ve been a misstep, and block Jin Zixuan’s strike just in time. Had something happened? Lan Wangji was the least sloppy fighter there was. He did not falter in his moves or get distracted –

Unlike Wei Wuxian, who had to do a quick swerve to avoid the sword of his own opponent. The displeasure was back, though. How come Jin Zixuan had gotten Lan Wangji to stumble? Jin Zixuan wasn’t a bad cultivator by any means, even he could admit that, but to pull ahead in a fight with Lan Wangji?

Wei Wuxian finished his own very quickly after that. When he turned to glance over where Lan Wangji and Jin Zixuan were, the irritation doubled. Lan Wangji’s hand was extended for the Peacock, helping him up from the ground, the clear winner of the fight extending courtesy. Something twisted in the bottom of Wei Wuxian’s stomach at the sight.

He did not dwell on it. It was childish to get hung up on disappointment, and there really wasn’t all that much rational reason for Wei Wuxian to be feeling much of anything about today. So he refused to dwell on it.

-

He was still not dwelling on it later that day, on his way to the cold spring, that Lan Xichen had courteously mentioned to him. Apparently Lans used the spring for healing purposes, and since they had spent most of the morning waving their swords around, Lan Xichen felt it was only proper for Wei Wuxian to go and make use of it to relax his sore muscles.

Wei Wuxian, who had grown up swimming, gladly took the opportunity to go splash around for a moment. Jiang Cheng was seemingly annoyed with him for some reason and had grabbed Nie Huaisang with him on his way away from Wei Wuxian. And Lan Wangji was nowhere to be seen.

Except that when Wei Wuxian found his way to the spring, he saw it already occupied.

His mouth went weirdly dry as he took in the scene. Lan Wangji, back to him, half-submerged in the water. His long black hair cascaded down the broad shoulders, passing his lean waist and touching the water in a silky curtain. His skin looked soft and smooth and so white Wei Wuxian wondered whether even the sun felt too much respect towards Lan Wangji to touch him like that.

And, ah, Lan Wangji was naked. Of course. His robes were neatly folded on a rock nearby, not a cloth out of place.

Wei Wuxian might’ve let out a tiny little strangled sound when he’d noticed Lan Wangji, and the man turned to him immediately. His eyes widened ever so slightly at the sight of him.

“Hi,” said Wei Wuxian. “Is it very cold in there?”

“Get out,” Lan Wangji snapped, the prude.

Ah, such a familiar tone. Wei Wuxian felt immediately better, even in the face of Lan Wangji’s nakedness. He didn’t see anything below – ah. He didn’t see anything improper. He was fine. Besides, weren’t they both men? Wei Wuxian had grown in Yunmeng, where the disciples frequently went out swimming together without any clothes on whatsoever.

Why should this time have been any different?

“But I just got here, Er-gege,” he replied, smiling widely. “Your brother offered to let me in, so how could I have refused?”

“…” Lan Wangji only looked at him warily, like expecting him to do something stupid.

Wei Wuxian kept smiling and started disrobing. Lan Wangji’s eyes widened further. “What are you doing?”

“Taking my clothes off,” Wei Wuxian said. “Am I supposed to swim while wearing three layers, ah? Don’t be unreasonable, Wangji-xiong.”

Lan Wangji’s lips were slightly parted like he was searching for an argument, but since there was none, he was forced to just stare. His eyes flitted to his own pile of robes, and seemingly having made a decision, started moving towards them.

Wei Wuxian stopped on his last robe at that, white and thin enough to be almost see-through, and groaned at Lan Wangji. “Aiyo, we can share, you don’t need to leave!”

“Improper,” Lan Wangji said shortly, voice tight.

“What’s improper about this,” Wei Wuxian protested. “Aren’t we both men? You’re really treating me too coldly!”

Lan Wangji was now close enough for the water to reach his hips, only barely hiding his virtue. Wei Wuxian looked shamelessly, which the other clearly noted, as he was back to glaring and gritting his teeth. “Do not look.”

Pursing his lips, Wei Wuxian cast his eyes. To the pile of robes. “Fine, I won’t look.”

He then snatched the clothes from the rock where Lan Wangji had neatly placed them, to the clear outrage of the other.

“Wei Wuxian! What are you doing?” he hissed.

To be honest, Wei Wuxian wasn’t entirely sure. He just knew that if Lan Wangji took the clothes, he would leave immediately without giving Wei Wuxian another glance. And Lan Wangji had ignored him already once today, and wasn’t it just a little bit unfair that all of Wei Wuxian’s attempts at being friendly with him were met with hostility? Wasn’t Lan Wangji being a little bit unreasonable right now?

“I’m helping you with your clothes,” Wei Wuxian stated, though at the same time he was taking a step back. “What did you think I was doing?”

“Lying is forbidden.” Lan Wangji’s voice could’ve frosted over the whole spring. “Give them to me.”

“Come get them.”

He looked at Lan Wangji again, and the absolute fury in the man’s eyes made something warm flood in the bottom of Wei Wuxian’s stomach. He swallowed dryly, before flashing his best grin. “Unless you’re too afraid to?”

No answer, though that was expected. Lan Wangji might’ve gotten easily frustrated with him, but he wasn’t a child.

Still. Wei Wuxian had come all the way here to soak in the spring, and now Lan Wangji didn’t even want to share it with him? After being so cold towards him the whole day, this was how he was going to act even now?

Was Wei Wuxian really in the wrong for wanting to get a bit of a reaction? Boring, unyielding Lan Zhan had been so mean to him. Wei Wuxian just wanted to get a reaction. Just a little reaction.

“You know what, Lan Zhan?” he said, voice very light. “You’re right. I’m sorry I bothered you like this – I should leave you to it!”

And then he took a step back, still holding Lan Zhan’s clothes. Clearly ready to take them with him, leaving Lan Zhan here without anything to cover himself with. Of course he wouldn’t really do it, but the way Lan Zhan’s eyes widened ever so slightly, his whole body froze in place so that the only moving parts were the drops of water streaming thinly down his pecs, abdomen, hips, told him that Lan Zhan didn’t know that.

Another step back, the grin wide on his face. “Unless you really want me to join you after all?”

Oh, that was fury. Lan Wangji merely glared at him for one, two, three heartbeats, but when Wei Wuxian was taking his third step back, there was a splash of water, and he was being tackled. He hit the ground in an embarrassingly clumsy tangle of limbs.

And Lan Wangji was on top of him. Between his open legs. Crushing him to the ground with more weight than Wei Wuxian could’ve ever guessed, although now that he’d seen the amount of muscle his body possessed, it shouldn’t have been so big of a surprise.

Ah. And Lan Wangji was naked still, of course. The only thing separating their bare skins from each other was the flimsy piece of white under robe that was now wet with the water that Lan Wangji’s body carried from the spring. Freezing, and wet, and sticking to Wei Wuxian’s skin, hiding nothing.

“Lan Zhan!” he gasped, eyes wide. The other looked much the same, face so close to him, like only now realizing his own actions.

“I –“ Lan Wangji tried, though Wei Wuxian gathered his wits before him, and in an effort to get the man off of him, threw the robes still in his hands away.

Their eyes followed the fabric flying, but as it hit the ground a little way off from them, Lan Wangji did not shoot up and after them. He was there, frozen, on top of Wei Wuxian, whose stomach was so full of that embarrassing, squirmy warmth he didn’t know what to do.

Lan Wangji smelled good, and despite the coldness of the spring water, his body was starting to feel especially hot against him. Wei Wuxian didn’t – mean to squirm, but he did, and then, in surprise, Lan Wangji’s body responded by pressing him tighter against, the ground, and –

They were not wearing clothes! His body reacted on its own, by waking up this certain member of his, and suddenly the whole thing got multiple times more humiliating than it had been. Lan Wangji’s eyes were widened, body stiffening completely as he felt Wei Wuxian’s, uh, growing problem between them.

Lan Wangji was gaping at him, and before Wei Wuxian had the time to start spouting out excuses, he felt an answering twitch from where Lan Wangji’s dick was resting against him. The size of the thing was what made Wei Wuxian immediately feel dizzy. That couldn’t have been his dick, surely? That was the size of Wei Wuxian’s forearm! Was Second Master Lan truly so blessed in all areas of life?

Despite the mortification, he glanced down, and yes, yes, those were definitely their hard dicks poking at each other’s stomachs, although there was still the paper-thin, wet robe between them.

Wei Wuxian’s head felt kind of foggy. He swallowed, feeling Lan Wangji’s eyes moving to follow the motion. And then it dropped to where Wei Wuxian’s hardened nipples were standing up against the transparent fabric. He might’ve blamed that for the cold if it weren’t for the obvious arousal.

“What are you –?” he started to ask, but then Lan Wangji’s hand was opening the collar of his robe, freeing his chest, and then – pinching the nipple. Wei Wuxian would’ve squawked in indignation, but instead, he let out a frankly embarrassing sound. It might’ve been a moan.

Lan Wangji gave the same treatment to his other nipple, and what – why was Wei Wuxian’s body responding to this? He felt himself hardening further. He bucked his hips up, meeting Lan Wangji’s as he grind down. A shock of pleasure went immediately through him. The color of his face must’ve matched the ribbon holding his hair.

Lan Wangji’s face looked unperturbed, but his eyes were so dark they must’ve been all pupil at this point.

“Wangji-xiong,” Wei Wuxian gasped, bursts of warmth shocking him each time Lan Wangji moved against him. “What are you doing?”

Lan Wangji’s breath was hot against his face, and when their eyes met, for a second, Lan Wangji seemed like he was going to answer. But then instead he merely leaned down, smashing their lips together into a mess of a kiss that made Wei Wuxian let out another one of those noises, deep from his chest, muffled against wet lips.

His first kiss. His first kiss and it was with –

He wrapped his arms around Lan Wangji’s shoulders, hand finding its way to his silky hair, opening his legs further to give Lan Wangji more room, and Lan Wangji rewarded him by pushing his tongue into his mouth, licking inside in a motion that reminded Wei Wuxian of – ah –

His face was burning, and the same burn was apparent in his lower body as well. Strong hands were tearing his robe open, carelessly, like in a rush, like if Lan Wangji didn’t get him completely naked in seconds he would surely die.

There was wetness spreading between them, and Wei Wuxian wasn’t stupid, he’d seen those white pearls slowly spilling before, during late nights when he tried being quiet while touching himself, but the moment Lan Wangji’s hand wrapped around his hardness, it felt like nothing he’d ever felt before, and it seemed like he was already spilling much more than he would usually alone.

It was overwhelming. And then Lan Wangji’s hand left his cock, slipped between his legs, down and, –

“Ah – ha, Lan Wangji, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian groaned against his lips, and Lan Zhan pulled back enough to look at him. His own wide eyes met the other’s, completely unreadable, while Lan Zhan’s long fingers were rubbing against his entrance, slightly pushing, maybe about to slip in.

“What are you doing?” he asked again, the words coming out in one desperate breath. All of his nerves were now focused on the pressure of Lan Wangji’s fingers slowly dipping inside him.

“You do not know?” Lan Wangji asked, mouth still so close to him, surprise in his voice.

Wei Wuxian felt embarrassed again. He didn’t mean – of course he knew! Obviously he knew what they were doing, he just wasn’t sure how Lan Wangji knew that this – that he could just – that his fingers would feel –

He let out a sort, tense burst of laughter, almost haughty. “I know! Do you know?”

The color of Lan Wangji’s eyes, if possible, darkened even further. The gentleness of his fingers prying Wei Wuxian open was gone, and instead, the movement became rough and fast. He stared at Wei Wuxian’s face while fingering him, watched as his mouth opened to another helpless moan, more wetness spilling from the head of Wei Wuxian’s cock.

“I know,” Lan Wangji said, voice low. It sent pleasant chills down Wei Wuxian’s spine.

The fingers left him, to his disappointment, but it took no time for gracious Second Master Lan to maneuver Wei Wuxian into another position, one where he was basically bent in half, knees over Lan Zhan’s broad shoulders. It was obvious why Lan Zhan had done this, yet still, when the head of Lan Wangji’s dick poked at him, Wei Wuxian took in a sharp breath.

“Wei Wuxian?” asked Lan Wangji.

“A-hah, Lan Zhan, you’re doing this to me and you’re still calling me so unfamiliarly? Give me some face,” Wei Wuxian replied. “Or what, are you waiting for me to give you permission to go on?”

The answering silence was enough of a reply. Despite the overwhelming need in him, Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but snort. “Lan Zhan, ah, just do it!”

He was being kissed again, though this time almost chastely. In stark comparison to what was happening below their waists: Lan Zhan’s inhumanly huge cock sinking into him, slowly enough to not completely break Wei Wuxian, but still going inside of him, making room in him, filling him. 

It was overwhelming on every level. He moaned into the kiss, head swimming in pain and pleasure alike, Lan Zhan’s hands on his hips, gripping him like he wouldn’t care if Wei Wuxian was to break under his strength. Lan Zhan’s whole body was shivering once he bottomed out, like it took all of his effort to not just fuck him.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian groaned, “Lan Zhan, won’t you move? You’re already inside, it’s too good, you’re too good, I’ll go crazy if you don’t!”

Obedient as ever. Lan Zhan pulled almost entirely out before thrusting back in, hips slamming against his like he wouldn’t mind making Wei Wuxian unable to walk for the next week. Wei Wuxian’s entire body was suffused with heat and the desperate need to keep Lan Zhan there between his legs, ruthlessly fucking inside of him like Wei Wuxian was something to use.

The sounds they made were obscene, skin slapping against skin, wetness rubbing between them, Wei Wuxian’s breathy moans, and Lan Zhan’s heavy breathing that he was clearly trying to control – for whose benefit? There was no one here. No one else would hear Wei Wuxian losing his virginity on the forest floor.

“D-does it feel good? Am I tight?” he asked, once Lan Zhan’s lips moved to his jaw, to his neck, where they kissed and sucked and bit unblemished skin without remorse.

He did not get a reply, but the thrusts became harsher, more erratic.

“Lan Zhan, how does it feel to – h-ah – to fuck me? Did you think about it before? Have you watched me and thought about it?”

Wei Wuxian didn’t think so – of course Lan Zhan wouldn’t, he was too pure for that, too virtuous for such things. And Lan Zhan did not answer, just gripped Wei Wuxian tighter, sure to leave marks. Wei Wuxian met his thrusts with his hips, barely able to match them in ferocity.

“I bet you have,” he lied. “I bet every time you glared at me these past weeks, you just wanted me on your cock, moaning and writhing and calling your name, Lan Zhan, Lan Zh – mmph!”

His mouth was full of tongue again, Lan Zhan evidently done with his teasing. The man was not saving his energy. Wei Wuxian’s bottom felt sore already, abused to the limit, and he was so hard it would not take long for him to finish, but he didn’t want it to end.

It felt too good, having Lan Zhan inside of him, close to him, paying attention to him. Watching him.

But this was his first time, and his endurance showed that. It didn’t take long until Wei Wuxian came. And when he did, Lan Zhan’s eyes were on him, taking him in. Unreadable, but the depth of them endless. There wasn’t color anywhere on his face still, anywhere but the tips of his ears, around his eyes, on his lips.

Wei Wuxian watched him when Lan Zhan followed him over the edge, the little gasp that escaped him, the stuttering of his hips. Really, too beautiful, his Lan Zhan.

His heartbeat was thundering. Lan Zhan pulled out gingerly almost immediately after coming, rolling off Wei Wuxian and letting the cold air get to him. Slowly, they were both coming off the high of their little tryst, the reality of the situation creeping in.

Ah. If Wei Wuxian were less shameless, he would’ve probably died of mortification just about now. What had he been thinking, provoking Lan Zhan like that? From the corner of his eye, he could see the stiffness of the other, the discomfort.

Lan Zhan was not the type of person to touch people. Not even casually. So to do this with Wei Wuxian – how far over the line had he truly been pushed? Lan Zhan did not like Wei Wuxian, that much was obvious. But he’d – he’d liked Wei Wuxian’s body, right? He had left behind handprints on his waist, his hips, the love bites on his neck, his spend between his legs.

And he had looked at Wei Wuxian, finally.

Lan Zhan was the upright type of person who would certainly feel guilty about it, too. He would definitely sacrifice his own comfort and happiness, thinking he had done irreparable damage to the other person, having taken their virtue.

Wei Wuxian could still fix this.

“Wei Ying–” Lan Zhan started, voice a little bit hoarse. Wei Wuxian turned his face towards him, smiling.

“Aiyah, let me guess. You’ll take responsibility?” He snorted softly, putting on an air of nonchalance. “Don’t worry about it too much, Lan Zhan! We’re both men, right? Sometimes men do these kinds of things with their friends, so you definitely shouldn’t worry about it!”

He pulled himself upwards, and ah, his ass was definitely sore. Lan Zhan was way too strong. The flush over his cheeks intensified at the thought of that, the strength that had just been applied to keeping him still while the man in question had his way with him.

“They do?” Lan Zhan asked flatly, and when Wei Wuxian glanced at him, there was no visible emotion on his face.

“Definitely,” Wei Wuxian rushed to assure. “I would know!”

Having been a virgin an hour ago, Wei Wuxian definitely wouldn’t know, but he wasn’t going to reveal that. Lan Zhan’s face twitched weirdly at that, his hand clutching at air and then releasing.

“I see.”

Then Lan Zhan was up, walking to his own clothes, and at the sight of his bare skin, Wei Wuxian was reminded of his own nakedness. They got dressed in slightly awkward silence. Wei Wuxian used the remains of his under robe to wipe himself clean, though he’d have to bathe immediately once he got back to his room.

Once they were done, Wei Wuxian flashed Lan Zhan a final smile. “Well. Um. Thanks for that?”

Lan Zhan’s answering nod was jerky. He did not meet Wei Wuxian’s gaze again, and then he was already turning away. Somehow, that made Wei Wuxian feel a little bit empty inside.

But he wasn’t a heartbroken maiden, nor did he feel that any virtue of his had been sullied. So he followed Lan Zhan out of the cold spring and waved him goodbye when their paths separated.

-

He was limping the next day. He probably should’ve guessed, considering the fact that Lan Wangji’s dick was a size designed to do nothing but inspire astonishment and insecurity in fellow men, and also the fact that Wei Wuxian had had his first time in the woods, against the ground, with a man he’d enraged into having sex with him.

Lan Zhan had indeed left his body full of marks, both small and big. He would’ve been more concerned about that had he not been mostly kind of smug. It wasn’t that he thought bullying Lan Zhan into having him wasn’t a little morally questionable, but it was Lan Zhan, and for an hour, he’d had his full attention.

And it had felt good. Both the attention and the physical act of it. He felt himself flushing red every time he thought about it.

Lan Zhan looked exactly the same, sitting next to him in the classroom. Uncaring of Wei Wuxian’s presence, hardly nodding at him when he greeted him good morning. In fact, it almost felt like Lan Zhan was even more distant today than before, if possible.

His profile was beautiful. Wei Wuxian’s eyes lingered on the lips that had only the day before licked into his mouth, marked his neck, told him in a deep voice that Lan Zhan knew what he was doing.

His hands were resting in his lap, long fingers primly placed against his thighs. Those fingers had done absolutely filthy things to Wei Wuxian yesterday; now they looked like the hands of someone proper, who only used them on guqin strings and cultivation.

Someone cleared their throat, and Wei Wuxian snapped out of it, turning to Jiang Cheng, who was looking at him with squinted eyes like there was something seriously mentally wrong with him. Wei Wuxian raised his eyebrows at him. “What?”

“Stop being weird,” Jiang Cheng hissed quietly. “Can’t you see Lan Wangji’s in a bad mood already?”

Was he? Now that Wei Wuxian took another look, he might’ve allowed that yes, Lan Zhan’s eyebrows were in that position that made his face look extra mean.

He would’ve normally noticed that immediately – especially before Jiang Cheng – but today he’d been. Ah. Distracted.

“I’m not going to bother him,” Wei Wuxian said, and his shidi threw him back one of those looks that told him no one here believed his bullshit.

But that was when Lan Qiren marched into the room, and everyone’s focus turned into approximating a proper Lan posture and an act of attentiveness. Lan Zhan didn’t even have to try. Wei Wuxian, for his part, very much did.

He managed, for a while at least. At some point his position became uncomfortable, and he moved just a tiny bit, but then his sore ass just kind of twinged and he couldn’t hide the little flinch. Lan Zhan’s hands twitched in his lap. Lan Qiren finished his sentence before turning to look at Wei Wuxian with barely concealed annoyance.

“Sit still,” came the command, and Wei Wuxian tried very hard after that.

Only, now Lan Qiren was already kind of miffed with him, so the next time he walked past Wei Wuxian while lecturing, the man side-eyed him even harder than usual. From a high angle, which meant that he saw into the collar of Wei Wuxian’s robes.

Lan Qiren stopped mid-sentence this time, clearly out of words. Wei Wuxian was acutely aware of what he saw: a previously untouched neck now mottled with hickeys and bite marks. Wei Wuxian would’ve felt proud about them if the situation hadn’t spelled danger to him.

“Wei Wuxian,” said Lan Qiren, clearly through gritted teeth.

Wei Wuxian turned to him with a neutral face, aiming to act clueless. He blinked once, twice. Lan Qiren, clearly as prone to embarrassment as the children he’d raised, could only glare at him, until spitting out: “You will stay after class.”

The one who had put the marks there did not say anything to this, but Wei Wuxian could see his hands clasping the fabric over his knees before relaxing again. Wei Wuxian nodded, already dreading what was to come.

Somehow, Lan Qiren’s usually dry, dawdling class was over in an instant now that Wei Wuxian so desperately needed it to continue on forever. Sooner than he’d hoped for, other people started escaping the room, Jiang Cheng sending him one last look of exasperation before disappearing behind the corner.

Wei Wuxian sat uncomfortably still and waited for his death sentence.

“Wangji,” Lan Qiren said, as Lan Zhan made to follow the rest, and a part of Wei Wuxian froze in terror. No way. No way was that apparent just from seeing the marks!

“Uncle,” Lan Zhan replied, completely normally, like the situation wasn’t terrifying on multiple levels.

“Wait outside by the door,” was what Lan Qiren said, in the end. Wei Wuxian, relieved to the point of wanting to cry, happily let go of the fear of Lan Qiren offing him in the back of the mountain for sullying Lan Zhan’s virtue.

Lan Zhan nodded without casting him a look, and then he was left alone with Lan Qiren.

Who only stared.

Wei Wuxian, ever shameless, stared back. As long as Lan Qiren didn’t accuse him of anything, he had a chance. If he played his cards right, he might even –

“Promiscuity is forbidden,” Lan Qiren said in a very typical Lan fashion.

Wei Wuxian swallowed. Nodded. “Okay.”

They were left in silence again. Lan Qiren was clearly trying to make him confess to his sins with his glare, but Wei Wuxian had grown desensitized to that particular look after having gotten it from Madam Yu for twenty years and now from Lan Zhan for about a month.

“Am I free to go, or…?” Wei Wuxian asked after the silence had gone on for an uncomfortably long time.

“No,” Lan Qiren snapped. Then, clearly determined to go through with the conversation, asked: “What are the marks on your neck?”

Wei Wuxian bit the inside of his cheek. Cleared his throat. “I fell.”

The look he was leveled with was so unimpressed Wei Wuxian had to continue: “Multiple times. There were small rocks.”

Lan Qiren raised his hand in a clear order to stop, the other one going up to pinch the bridge of his nose while his eyes fell shut. Old man Qiren truly was one of those people whose constitution could not tolerate much exposure to Wei Wuxian.

“Enough. You will be issued a punishment,” the man stated, then called out: “Wangji, come in.”

To Wei Wuxian’s left, a flash of white. Lan Zhan moved like a ghost, making no noise whatsoever.

“Wei Wuxian, you are to copy the rules of our sect thrice,” Lan Qiren said, tone unyielding. “Except for section twelve, which you are going to copy ten times. Wangji will oversee your punishment.”

Lan Zhan, the absolute demon, did not even flinch at this. Wei Wuxian was fighting between wailing out the misery of having to spend most of his free time in the library and holding in the hysterical laughter about Lan Qiren sending him to do punishment over deeds of promiscuity that he very much practiced with the guy who was supposed to enforce said punishment.

“You may go.”

They bowed before hastily making their escape. Well, Wei Wuxian made a hasty escape. Lan Zhan swanned out of the room like his conscience was clear and nothing of this situation smelled of irony.

-

They didn’t start the punishment immediately. Lan Zhan apparently needed a day or two to delegate his other regular tasks, which to Wei Wuxian sounded much like an excuse to just go and avoid him for a while. At least that’s what it felt like: he saw Lan Zhan nowhere but during class, and when that was over, Lan Zhan disappeared as fast as the rules allowed.

That usually meant power-walking instead of running.

Wei Wuxian didn’t really mind. Well, he minded a little, in a way where he was very conscious of the way his golden core quickly healed any sign of their little encounter by the cold spring. He was allowed to be weird about it. It had been his first time.

He hadn’t – Wei Wuxian didn’t regret it. He didn’t think there was anyone in the world he would’ve rather – ah. Well. Wei Wuxian just had a bit of a romantic streak, and he had perhaps saved his first kiss for twenty years, and now it was over and he had slept with a person as well, and that – he himself had denied the possibility of Lan Zhan taking responsibility.

He didn’t want to trap Lan Zhan in a loveless marriage just because he had some funny little notions about love and physicality. And just because he thought that Lan Zhan was amazing and beautiful and so much fun to get riled up, didn’t mean he wanted to marry him.

It just meant that he had a conflicting set of interests.

Now, a few days later, sitting on the other side of the desk from Lan Zhan, he really felt those interests conflicting. Lan Zhan’s eyes were on the paper before him, the brush in his hand drawing the neatest characters anyone in the cultivation world had ever seen, and Wei Wuxian wanted nothing more than for Lan Zhan to pay attention to him.

Wei Wuxian had no trouble sitting, now. He did not ache in strange places anymore, and the skin of his throat was sun-kissed and even in its color. No sign of Lan Zhan left.

He did not know what Lan Zhan thought about the whole thing. Lan Zhan wasn’t especially talkative on a good day about the things he was passionate about. And this was an uncomfortable topic for someone so upright. Wei Wuxian wished he wasn’t so eager to push.

“What are you writing?” he asked when it got obvious that Lan Zhan wouldn’t glance up just because Wei Wuxian kept staring.

Lan Zhan calmly lifted his brush, dipped it in the ink, wiped the excess, and continued on to the next character. “I am copying the sect rules.”

The sect rules? Now that Wei Wuxian looked, they had the same scrolls open. He frowned. “Why?”

“Punishment for promiscuity,” Lan Zhan explained in a tone of voice that was probably meant to imply that Wei Wuxian was being daft.

He laughed despite himself. Wasn’t it just so typical of Lan Zhan? He’d deemed himself guilty as well, so he was doing the same punishment. What a riot it must’ve been to raise him. Lan Zhan had probably sent himself to his room when he’d acted badly as a kid.

“You are really way too good,” Wei Wuxian sighed. “How are you going to explain that to Lan Qiren if he sees it?”

Lan Zhan was quiet for a moment. “Uncle would not question it.”

“What? Because he knows it was you who ravaged me?”

The thought was absolutely terrifying, but clearly wrong, as Lan Zhan set his brush aside and turned to look at him with a line between his brows. “It is writing practice.”

“Ah. Haha. Right.” Wei Wuxian glanced at his own paper, which looked much like a crow had been first stepping on a pool of ink and then on his paper.

It wasn’t that Wei Wuxian couldn’t write. He invented talismans, he knew the importance of a character drawn correctly. But three thousand rules was a lot, and Wei Wuxian’s hand was already tired.

“Ravaged,” Lan Zhan said, then, pulling Wei Wuxian’s attention back to him. There was something difficult in the shape of Lan Zhan’s expression.

“What? Ah, yeah.” He thought back to the feeling of teeth against his pulse. “Who would’ve thought Hanguang-jun was such a beast, ah? I was barely able to walk afterward…”

Instead of the usual glare, Lan Zhan’s face turned closed off. “I hurt you.”

“Huh? No, what, it wasn’t like that,” Wei Wuxian rushed to say if only to wipe away that look on the other’s face. “Stop looking at me like that, I’m not a porcelain doll, Lan Zhan. I won’t break if you rough me up a little.”

There was an almost imperceptible release of tension in the line of Lan Zhan’s shoulders. Relieved, Wei Wuxian continued: “And besides, I’ve been handled much rougher than that before!”

This, for a reason Wei Wuxian couldn’t immediately pinpoint, was the wrong thing to say. The worst thing to say, in fact. Suddenly the tentative experiment in honest conversation about the whole thing was finished before it truly even started, and Lan Wangji turned into the unreachable, glaring jade statue he had been throughout most of their acquaintance.

And then it dawned on Wei Wuxian. How his statement could be interpreted. A flush spread on his cheeks, but Lan Zhan had thankfully already moved his attention back to his work on the table, clearly unwilling to engage with the conversation further.

Lan Zhan thought he was, what, loose? Promiscuous? Someone who was used to a little bit of manhandling, so it wouldn’t matter to him how mean Lan Zhan got when they were together like that?

Second Master Lan truly had a tendency to jump to the worst possible conclusion about him, hadn’t he? But then, Wei Wuxian really liked it when he was angry. Lan Zhan was just so untouchable that seeing him like this, lips in a tight line and eyes full of fury, made Wei Wuxian’s heartbeat speed up.

Lan Zhan looked at him, then. Whenever he was angry.

The library was silent this time of the day. Lans were morning people, so the evenings were the time when the library was at its emptiest. Hardly anyone ever even came to this section, in any case. It was a room for copying scripts, which was mostly used as a punishment.

Wei Wuxian, suddenly brimming with new thrill, leaned a little over the desk. Just enough to get his posture a bit more relaxed, but not enough that Lan Zhan would immediately admonish him about it. He tugged gently at his own collar, loosening the neckline.

It wasn’t unusual for his robes to be tied like that. Sloppy. Showing a little bit of collarbone, if one were to look from the right angle. Wei Wuxian was far from someone who knew how to be effortlessly seductive, but he knew how to flirt, at least. He wasn’t really the expert on things like these, but wasn’t it a pretty easy conclusion to come to? That someone’s eyes might get stuck on an enticing piece of naked skin?

Lan Zhan just wasn’t looking at him. It was fine; even Wei Wuxian could be patient sometimes.

He took his own brush and continued copying where he’d left off. The act of writing was almost meditative, though that was very much not what Wei Wuxian was focusing on. It felt like all of his senses were fine-tuned to Lan Zhan, waiting for the man to look up. To notice him.

It was a shameless tactic. Wei Wuxian was well aware of this. But Lan Zhan wasn’t making it very easy for him either, and something had awakened in him after that last time. A terrible need that could only be satisfied by Lan Zhan’s hands on him.

They were already being punished for improper behavior. Shouldn’t they take full advantage of the thing they were paying for?

Ah. Lan Zhan’s brush stilled on the piece of paper, spreading too much ink on the one spot. Wei Wuxian lifted his eyes, going for innocent and managing only eager. The tops of his cheeks felt warm as he took in the expression on Lan Zhan’s face.

The darkened eyes were taking in the arch of his neck, the dark shadow under his collarbone. Then that gaze met his, knowing it had been on purpose. Seeing him.

Wei Wuxian felt the drum of his own heart against his ribs.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, and it might’ve been a reprimand, or it might’ve been a plea.

You could have me right now, Wei Wuxian wanted to say, and I would be so easy for you.

“Hm, what is it, Er-gege?” he asked instead, and there it was, the flare of irritation. Too intimate words always caused a reaction.

“Do not slouch.” A pause. “Put your robe properly.”

“Properly?” Wei Wuxian blinked his eyes, mock-confused

Lan Zhan only glared for a reply, seeing through him. Looking at him. Wei Wuxian bit his lip to keep the grin off his face and started fiddling with the collar of his robe. Deep midnight black. Teenagers had to change their clothes to the ones of Lan sect when studying here. He was an adult, so he wore black.

Lan Zhan’s eyes followed the motion, the dance of his fingers. Then, jerkily, he turned his face away.

“Shameless,” he said, vehement.

“How am I shameless, Er-ge?”

The look he was given was condemnatory. “Acting stupid does not suit you.”

Wei Wuxian snorted but then eyed him in a considering way.

“Fine, then. I’m being shameless.” He grinned. “Why don’t you give me my punishment then, ah, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Zhan wouldn’t look at him. Instead, the man merely straightened up further, becoming yet again the perfect disciple who didn’t fuck any visiting cultivators by the cold spring and continued copying the rules. Like Wei Wuxian wasn’t there, suggesting things to him.

He clearly needed a more hands-on approach. Lan Zhan did not look up when he circled the table and knelt by his side, close enough to feel the tension and heat pouring off of Lan Zhan’s rigid body.

“Er-gege,” he said, leaning in close, lips almost touching Lan Zhan’s reddened ear as the man in question continued on pretending like Wei Wuxian didn’t exist. “Do you really want me to put my robes properly?”

No answer, no reaction. Wei Wuxian slid a hand on Lan Zhan’s thigh, the muscle jerking under him. “Wouldn’t you much rather mess them up a little more?”

Lan Zhan swallowed, eyes falling closed like he was counting down from a hundred. Controlling himself in the face of Wei Wuxian’s shamelessness. It was mesmerizing, watching the reactions on him. The absolute stillness of his upper body, the flush covering his ears, the straight line of his jaw twitching.

Wei Wuxian’s voice gained a whiny quality, almost nasally, as he got close enough to gently brush against him: “Er-gege, don’t you think I need discipline?”

The words were barely out of his mouths when he was suddenly taken by the waist and pushed down onto the table, Lan Zhan’s powerful hand pressing him harshly between shoulder blades. The position put him face down, ass up right into Lan Zhan’s lap. His face was burning. Heartbeat thundering.

He could not help the shocked little moan when Lan Zhan bunched up his robes to his hips, tore off his pants, and yanked his thighs apart, gaining full access to where Wei Wuxian was already hard and leaking, where his opening was already throbbing for Lan Zhan to fill it.

“That’s right, Lan Zhan,” he whined, exhilarated. “Punish me.”

“Mark your words,” Lan Zhan hissed, and there it was, the unbridled fury in his voice again.

There was truly no other person as dedicated to their task as the Second Master of Gusu Lan. The ferocity with which he went about dishing out the punishment was truly making Wei Wuxian’s knees weak.

This time, when Lan Zhan fucked him, he had to bite his sleeve to muffle the moans. Lan Zhan did not hold back at all, clearly having taken Wei Wuxian’s earlier words to heart. He did not treat him like a porcelain doll. Rather, Wei Wuxian was truly being disciplined for his behavior.

They were both still clothed, but for some reason, that only made the whole thing feel more depraved. Lan Zhan’s hand was holding his hair in a tight grip, forcing his back on an arch, and his other hand holding Wei Wuxian’s hip in a steel-tight grip, guiding him back on his cock.

It was too much. Wei Wuxian’s body was full of ache and want and shocks of pleasure, and he didn’t know how Lan Zhan could be so good at this, but he was , and Wei Wuxian loved being there under him, the sole focus of his attention.

Who would’ve thought, who would’ve thought? Under the ice-cool exterior of Lan Wangji was a man full of incomparable, overwhelming desire. Hanguang-jun wanted, and when coaxed, he took. And Wei Wuxian was the one who knew about it.

He managed to keep quiet for the most of it, throughout the parts where Lan Zhan’s hand slid down to knead his ass, where his own hands found his leaking dick and started stroking, where Lan Zhan groaned one rough, quiet “Wei Ying”. But when his orgasm hit, he was unable to bite back the sound, and when Lan Zhan followed, the noises Wei Wuxian made were twice as loud.

In the end, they were left in silence, again, full of heavy breathing, in a mess of spilled ink and crinkled paper and robes stained with bodily fluids. Wei Wuxian’s body had that pleasant soreness again, his head void of useless thoughts.

Lan Zhan stayed quiet while they cleaned up, and for once, Wei Wuxian didn’t feel the need to goad him into a conversation. The man’s eyes flickered over to him every now and then, assessing, unreadable. Wei Wuxian soaked in the attention.

A while later they were back to copying rules from the opposite sides of the table. Lan Zhan was back to looking unbothered, not a hair out of place. Too handsome.

Wei Wuxian shifted in his place, felt the pang of pain, winced. Lan Zhan’s eyes shot up to look at him, concerned. He met those eyes, pale gold, and only smiled.

-

Chapter Text

It didn’t stop happening after that. Or more like, Wei Wuxian kept initiating, and Lan Zhan, for one reason or another, just let him. Didn’t snitch him out to Lan Qiren for inappropriate behavior, and instead just watched Wei Wuxian make his clumsy insinuations, grinning and flushed, and then let him have it after getting angry enough.

They spent a lot of time in the library together, all alone, unsupervised, so it was probably too convenient not to. Or at least that is what Wei Wuxian thought it must’ve been about.

If one were to look at Lan Zhan, they wouldn’t be able to tell he was someone who liked doing that. He still sat primly and collected in each class, face revealing nothing but distant tranquility, removed from the carnal needs of the common man. Except then they would be sitting in the library again, Lan Zhan’s eyes lingering on the curve of his neck, and something in his eyes would become just as mortal as the rest of them.

Wei Wuxian could not get enough. He was starting to understand the warnings of their elders, now. How such a thing could consume one if they weren’t careful about it, and Wei Wuxian had never been one to not throw himself fully into something he enjoyed.

So he kept making moves, and Lan Zhan would become someone who desired, and the rule-copying would be forgotten for a moment.

It would’ve been enough. It would have, but then Wei Wuxian was greedy in a way that surprised even himself, and somehow it wasn’t enough to just get those fleeting moments of Lan Zhan’s concentrated attention.

Outside the library, things stayed much the same. Lan Zhan, existing on a separate plane, uncaring of Wei Wuxian. In fact, as if to compensate for the way he spent so much time between his legs in the evenings, it seemed that Hanguang-jun cared for Wei Wuxian’s presence even less any other time.

His greetings over the courtyard got ignored. His smiles and quips and questions before and after class might as well not have been voiced at all, what with the lack of response. Lan Zhan did not spare him a glance, a thought, a friendly gesture.

He sparred with Jin Zixuan again, the next time he showed up to practice. Wei Wuxian wanted to punch the both of them – instead, he poured his frustration in mock-flirting with the Jin disciple he himself was fighting. Lan Zhan, whose sense of propriety was unfaltering outside the walls of the library, showed his displeasure over this first by snappishly iterating the rules of the sect to them, and then afterward, when they were alone, by taking Wei Wuxian’s mouth harshly, hand in his hair.

Lan Zhan would say his name like he was pleading. Wei Wuxian liked all of it too much to stay resentful.

Jiang Cheng, weirdly perceptive despite almost constantly misinterpreting everything around him, knew that something was up with him immediately, but only brought it up after it had been going on for a while.

“What are you doing after the punishment with Lan Wangji?” the tone was not necessarily accusing, but it came from Jiang Cheng, so it still sounded kind of curt and angry.

Wei Wuxian glanced up from where he was washing his face, trying to get his swollen, red lips to look a little less like they’d been bullied for hours. He’d taken the less popular route back to his room to avoid eyewitnesses. Everyone in the Cloud Recesses was a tattletale.

“Wha – I’m not doing anything with Lan Zhan, what do you mean? What would I be doing with Lan Zhan?”

Jiang Cheng scowled at him. “Stop playing dumb, I meant what do you do after you’re done doing the punishment that Lan Wangji oversees?”

Wei Wuxian had not been playing dumb, and the relief of knowing that his shidi didn’t suspect a thing between him and Lan Zhan was palpable. The tense line of his shoulders relaxed. “What do you mean? I always come straight here.”

Not a word he said was being believed, judging from the narrowed eyes. But in the end, Jiang Cheng only scoffed. “Fine, lie then. It’s not like I care.

His shidi left in a huff, but there really wasn’t anything Wei Wuxian could’ve done to stop that. It wasn’t like he could just go and tell Jiang Cheng. The thought was laughable, actually. Jiang Cheng would first kill him for acting in such an unseemly way, and then he would try to kill, and fail at killing, Lan Zhan, for being partly at fault too.

So it really was better this way, with Jiang Cheng not in the know. Besides, Wei Wuxian needed to get Lan Zhan to acknowledge their friendship, and he really couldn’t do that while being dead.

-

“No, no, don’t stop on my account,” Wei Wuxian said, sitting down next to Lan Zhan, close enough to earn a glare and stilled fingers on the guqin strings. “It sounded very beautiful. There really isn’t a thing Hanguang-jun doesn’t excel in.”

The magnolia above them was in bloom, the light, elegant smell of it enveloping the air around them. Lan Zhan looked at him from the side of his eye, stiff and uncomfortable as always. Like Wei Ying’s presence was a bad sign in and of itself.

“Visiting disciples are to stay in the public areas.”

“You can add that to my punishment, then,” Wei Wuxian said easily, flashing Lan Zhan a pointed smile. “Either copying or the one where you –“

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan warned, sounding way too scandalized for someone who’d spent a lot of time in the past few weeks balls-deep in Wei Wuxian.

“What? Didn’t you say that people are not allowed to come here? Who’s going to hear me talk nonsense?”

A slow exhale through the nose was a Lan Zhan equivalent of a frustrated sigh. In the end, he merely turned back to his guqin. Wei Wuxian watched him carefully, chewing the inside of his cheek in thought.

Lan Zhan really had a tendency to escape from him, whenever he tried to catch him outside the places where he was forced to spend time with Wei Wuxian. Sitting next to him like that usually resulted in Lan Zhan stopping whatever it was he was doing and moving away, like spending another second in Wei Wuxian’s company would cause him great pain or something.

Lan Zhan did look like that though, sometimes, when he met Wei Wuxian’s eyes. Pained. It was mostly whenever they were in the library, and Wei Wuxian would tease him a little, or compliment him, or mention a fun thing he’d gotten up to.

Now he didn’t look pained, at least, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wouldn’t escape at any moment.

Wei Wuxian wondered if it was just his preference for solitude, or if Lan Zhan truly disliked him that much for some reason. It wouldn’t be – well. In Wei Wuxian’s opinion, it was kind of unfair. He was very sociable, and in his own opinion, a very agreeable company as well.

It would’ve been unfair for Lan Zhan to solely hate him because their first meeting happened to be a bit of a catastrophe! Lan Zhan hadn’t really even given him a chance to show what benefits being a friend with him would bring!

Ah, then again, maybe he had. Wei Wuxian had a bite mark on his shoulder from yesterday, aching a little whenever he absentmindedly pressed on it.

“What, are you really not going to play?” he asked when Lan Zhan still only just sat there.

Unsurprisingly, he did not get an answer. Wei Wuxian huffed. “I wish I had my dizi with me, I could join you.”

Lan Zhan blinked, head tilting a little towards him. “You play?”

“A little, and very badly,” Wei Wuxian replied. He wasn’t truly atrocious, or even all that bad, really. But Jiangs didn’t cultivate through music like the Lans.

The line of Lan Zhan’s mouth spelled doubt, but he merely turned back to silently stare at the guqin in his hands. The skin at the end of Lan Zhan’s long fingers was calloused, shaped by music. Curious contrast to the way his skin otherwise felt, smooth and soft and hot under his touch.

It was strange that he knew this about Lan Zhan. Strange that Lan Zhan could sit there so distant, as if they were mere strangers, when his mouth had left marks on Wei Wuxian the day before.

It had started to become so easy, now, to provoke Lan Zhan in the library. A shameless litany of words, a provocative posture, robes that were not properly tied. ‘Er-gege’, over and over, voice getting whinier each time he said it.

Maybe it was the fact that they were forced to share space like that, Lan Zhan too dutiful to leave his task and storm out when Wei Wuxian got difficult. Maybe he found it easier to just give in.

Here, outside, he was not duty-bound. Wei Wuxian didn’t want him to be.

“What were you playing just then?” he asked, suddenly. It really had been something exceptionally beautiful.

“Nothing,” Lan Zhan said, and then at then when Wei Wuxian made a face, continued: “...It is not ready yet.”

“You were composing?”

A nod. Wei Wuxian couldn’t say that he was astonished, really. Lan Zhan was exceptional in all things. Of course his head would be full of gorgeous notes just waiting to be put in an order for the rest of the world to enjoy.

Well, perhaps not for the rest of the world. Lan Zhan’s hands were still resting steady, unwilling to move when Wei Wuxian’s eyes could catch them. Unsurprising, but it still made Wei Wuxian feel a little bit like he was slamming his head against a brick wall in the hopes of making said wall soften for him.

“I’m impressed.” He relaxed further against the grass. “Although I did know Lan Er-gege is very skillful in forcing nice sounds out of things.”

The tiniest flare of red in the tips of Lan Zhan’s ears was gratifying. The way he made to stand up was not.

“Hey, hey, Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian’s hand shot up to catch the sleeve of Lan Zhan’s white robes, stopping him. “Don’t be like that! I promise I won’t make jokes like that again, won’t you stay?”

The sleeve was jerked out of his grasp. His tone was indifferent when he replied: “I have tasks to attend to.”

“Right,” Wei Wuxian replied, acrid feeling filling his chest. “Don’t let me keep you.”

Lan Zhan, without a glance his way, did not. And Wei Wuxian couldn’t really pretend to be surprised, either.

-

It didn’t get to Wei Wuxian most of the time. He just wasn’t the type of person to take it personally, when someone found him intolerable. He had many good things in life, and people were generally very nice to him, excluding a few people whose names Wei Wuxian had a hard time remembering anyway.

He had many friends. He didn’t have to be alone at all if he so wished. He didn’t have to care about the people who were jealous of him or found his general being intolerable.

He attempted to not care a lot, with Lan Zhan. The esteemed Hanguang-jun really did have this dislike of him, and mostly it was very funny to get him to show that when the man was so obvious in his attempts to shroud it in aloofness. But sometimes, when Wei Wuxian was surrounded by people, having a good time in general, there was this nagging feeling in him.

It would’ve only been fair, wouldn’t it, for Lan Zhan to hold him in high regard as well? It didn’t make sense for him to be so intent on keeping Wei Wuxian at an arm’s length, making sure he would never be under the illusion that they were anything but acquaintances at best to each other. They could’ve been such good friends!

But it was obvious that the feeling was not mutual.

The first time their group of visiting disciples went on a night-hunt, Lan Zhan came with them. It was probably to supervise, though none of them were children anymore, and the rules of the Lan did not matter outside the Cloud Recesses.

Lan Zhan ignored his attempts to converse, as usual. Wei Wuxian, in turn, ignored the warning look Jiang Cheng sent his way.

The assignment they were on had to do with a simple ghost menacing a village. Scared uncles and aunties, fainting maidens. Three young men had thrown themselves into a well and broken their necks, so it was certainly a real problem. The village happened to be a little out of the way, so they had to stop in the evening to make a camp.

After annoying Jiang Cheng for a hot minute and helping the other disciples out a little, he went off to find some wood for the fire with a quiet kid who he hadn’t talked to before. Wen Ning had that kind of unassuming look that made him really easy for most people to ignore. Wei Wuxian had seen him shooting a bow, once, and had been about to go and offer his advice, but then he’d spotted Lan Zhan and had annoyed him instead.

Wen Ning was pretty good at finding good fire fuel, though. Wei Wuxian would’ve been, as well, but he kept getting distracted by feeling eyes on his back and then when turning back to look, didn’t catch anyone’s eye. They were close enough to the camp for everyone to still see them.

“Is something wrong?” Wen Ning asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

Wei Wuxian, kind of embarrassed by his head swinging back and forth when he should’ve been actively looking for sticks to burn, let out a laugh. “Don’t mind me, I get easily distracted!”

The other looked thoughtfully back at the camp for a moment, then turned to give him a small smile. “I think you are wanted back there.”

“Haha, by whom?” Jiang Cheng had kicked him in the shin and told him to be useful. “I think everyone’s just hungry. We should hurry up about it, right? Or I should. You’re doing great, Wen Ning, that’s so much wood!”

Wen Ning, clearly not used to compliments, gave him another small smile, this time a little embarrassed. In the end, they both got enough sticks to burn, once Wei Wuxian started focusing only on the task at hand.

They made a fire. Well, one of the Nie disciples did, and Wei Wuxian praised him for it, which in turn made him feel that prickly feeling again, someone’s eyes on him. But when he turned to the likely culprit – why was he likely, he kept ignoring Wei Wuxian – Lan Zhan was staring off, stand-offish as always.

They put their food on sticks above the fire, letting them warm up. It had been hours since they left the Cloud Recesses, and they hadn’t eaten since. Flying had mostly distracted him from it – it had been a while since the last time he’d been able to travel long distances just by sword, so he’d thoroughly enjoyed that. Even if Lan Zhan had ignored him.

Now, Lan Zhan was checking the way someone had put up their tent a little lopsided. Always the corrector. Jiang Cheng had called Wen Ning away for some reason or another, and the Nie disciples were very invested in some sort of argument about sword forms, so Wei Wuxian was practically alone by the fire, staring at the steadily darkening sky and thinking.

Then, there was a thud and the sounds of sizzling meat. Wei Wuxian turned back to the fire, almost letting out a loud groan. Wen Ning’s portion had fallen off the stick right into the fire. Now it was dirty, and would soon look more like coal than anything edible.

Glancing quickly towards Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning to make sure they hadn’t noticed anything, he switched the places of his own food and Wen Ning’s now-empty stick. He had to be careful about that – he didn’t want another meal to go to waste. Wen Ning had worked hard, so it would’ve been too unfair for him to go to bed unfed.

He relaxed back, then, away from the sticks. Just in time, too. Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng appeared behind him.

Jiang Cheng frowned at him. “Smells burnt.”

“They’re not.” They weren’t. Most were just about ready, in fact. Not even slightly overcooked. “Already ate mine, and it was just perfect.”

“And you couldn’t let us know?” Jiang Cheng sat down next to him, despite the annoyed tone. “The rest of us are hungry, too.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he said and gave Wen Ning a wide grin over Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. The smile he was given back was just as kind as the earlier ones.

The emptiness in his own stomach didn’t growl, thankfully, but it made sitting still a little uncomfortable. The delicious smell of warm food around him didn’t exactly help. Wei Wuxian turned his eyes away from the fire, at least, almost reflexively turning towards where he’d seen Lan Zhan last –

And the man was already watching him, an unreadable expression on his face.

Wei Wuxian held that gaze for one long moment, before turning back to his brother, heartbeat thundering in his chest.

He could forget the hunger for the next hour, while they talked and laughed around the fire. They’d get to the village tomorrow, and Wei Wuxian could buy himself some dumplings. Something filled with meat and spices and all the things Gusu Lan sect’s diet lacked. Those thoughts kept him in a good mood, even when his stomach protested.

Though in the end, when they turned in, Wei Wuxian saw that there were two loquats placed inside his tent, plump and round and smelling so sweet that Wei Wuxian would’ve immediately devoured them had he not been so surprised.

He glanced at where Lan Zhan was getting ready for bed as well, disappearing into his own tent.

Something warm spread in Wei Wuxian’s chest as he only stared at the dark outline of Hanguang-jun’s tent for a moment or two before going inside his own and biting into one of the loquats. It was just as sweet as it looked.

-

“You are too friendly with people,” Jiang Cheng told him the next day, apropos of nothing.

They were close to the village already. Supposedly. Lan Zhan was the one who’d been traveling around Gusu the most, so he led them, and whenever Wei Wuxian asked whether they were there yet, Lan Zhan only gave him one of those ‘I’m very unimpressed’ looks.

“How can you be too friendly with people?” Wei Wuxian asked. “You’re too mean to people, Jiang Cheng. I’m just picking up the slack.”

“No, you just–“ Jiang Cheng seemed to have a hard time verbalizing his thoughts. He looked a mix of constipated, annoyed, and embarrassed. “You’re making yourself seem like –“

“Like what?”

There was a fleeting moment where Jiang Cheng clearly wanted to say something, but in the end, he only turned to glare at Wei Wuxian. “What reason did Lan Qiren give for your punishment?”

Ah. He willed any redness of stay off of his face. He definitely couldn’t let Jiang Cheng know about that. “I was distracting class. Fidgeting. You saw it.”

“And there was nothing else?” Jiang Cheng asked, insistent.

“What else would there have been?” Wei Wuxian didn’t meet his eyes. “What’s with this interrogation? Are you already so bored you need to make up problems?”

“Who’s interrogating? You’re just –!” Whatever it was that Wei Wuxian was, Jiang Cheng muttered so quietly that he couldn’t hear it.

A bit ahead of them, Lan Zhan’s hair gently swayed in the wind. It was almost unreal how he could look so ethereal during something as mundane as walking on a dirt road. Wei Wuxian kept his attention on him rather than on the conversation with Jiang Cheng.

“And why do you keep doing that?” said shidi continued, ever relentless.

“Doing what?”

There was a downward curl to Jiang Cheng’s mouth. “Staring at Lan Wangji with that look.”

“Well, Lan Zhan is pretty.”

“Do you hear yourself?” He sounded almost incredulous.

“Why shouldn’t I say it? It’s true! I’m handsome as well, and so are you, and so is Wen Ning, and so are many other people,” Wei Wuxian stated. “Why is it so wrong to say that? Don’t I have eyes, can’t I tell?”

This was evidently the breaking point to Jiang Cheng’s patience. The man cursed and stomped off, making distance between himself and Wei Wuxian like acknowledging other people’s good looks was contagious and he was in grave danger of having to think positive things about fellow cultivators.

Wei Wuxian felt kind of bad, still. He didn’t want to keep things secret from Jiang Cheng. But his shidi had a tendency to blow things out of proportion, and maybe blame Wei Wuxian a little bit more than was warranted, so this was the safer option for everyone involved.

Free of Jiang Cheng, Wei Wuxian moved on to bother Lan Zhan instead.

Hanguang-jun’s entire demeanor stayed unmoved when Wei Wuxian appeared next to him. The steps still steady, the expression placid.

“Did you sleep well, Lan Zhan?” he asked.

The answer came a little lagging, but Wei Wuxian didn’t get completely ignored, which was always a win. “Mn.”

“Me too! I suppose traveling makes anyone sleep like a rock,” Wei Wuxian mused. “My back is kind of killing me, though! Who would’ve thought I would miss the Cloud Recesses’ mattresses? They’re almost as hard as the ground itself.”

Lan Zhan’s eyes flickered to him, something almost like a concern in them.

Wei Wuxian snorted. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m used to my back hurting a little.”

The concern vanished. Wei Wuxian was granted a view of Lan Zhan’s sullen profile again, again for no visible reason. For someone who was definitely entirely at fault for Wei Wuxian’s back pains nowadays, Lan Zhan certainly hated to be reminded of it.

It was fine; Wei Wuxian would just change the topic on the fly.

“It’s very pretty here,” he stated. General small talk couldn’t go that much wrong, could it? “Have you been traveling here a lot?”

“Mn.”

“And not only in Gusu, I guess?”

“Mn.”

“I thought so. People say that Hanguang-jun shows up where the need is the greatest,” Wei Wuxian said. “Where there is chaos, there is Hanguang-jun. That’s very admirable.”

Lan Zhan’s long lashes twitched, his face turning just the tiniest bit away.

“With me, it’s the other way around. I bring the chaos,” Wei Wuxian stated, and because he was terrible and unable to help himself, continued with a glint in his eye: “And sometimes the great need, too.”

A slow exhale, almost a sigh for Lan Zhan. No immediate fury, though, which was probably good.

“Traveling a little bit around and helping out sounds nice, though,” he mused. “Getting new experiences. Oh, I have never actually been to Qishan, that could be a fun place to visit.”

This, for some reason, made Lan Zhan give him a sharp look. “You wish to visit the Wen sect?”

“Sure,” Wei Wuxian replied. “Wen Ning said their food is pretty spicy there as well.”

“You would go there for the food?”

He snorted. “Well, obviously I’d go there for Wen Ning. The food is just a bonus!”

Lan Zhan didn’t look very pleased about this, for some reason. But instead of further continuing the conversation, the man only looked forward now, closing off like he was wont to. Wei Wuxian didn’t know how he had managed to step in the wrong again. Conversations with Lan Zhan were like a particularly difficult game of weiqi.

A thought occurred to him as Lan Zhan’s silence grew longer. He wasn’t…jealous, was he?

Lan Zhan had never shown interest in spending time with Wen Ning, but he wasn’t the type to show any kind of interest in anything, usually. What if Lan Zhan had been the one who wanted to visit Wen Ning in Qishan? Could Lan Zhan really want to befriend Wen Ning?

Wei Wuxian was the furthest from Wen Ning, personality-wise. And Lan Zhan had time and time again shown his aversion to many of Wei Wuxian’s prominent traits. He was loud and abrasive and liked to be the center of attention. Wen Ning was soft-spoken and quiet and really polite. He was the complete opposite of Wei Wuxian.

Something unpleasant churned in the bottom of his stomach as they continued on in silence. Wei Wuxian must’ve still been hungry.

-

They arrived in the village by midday and were done dealing with the ghost in the well by sundown. Most of the time they spent just waiting for the thing to appear, and after Lan Zhan had a pleasant guqin-translated conversation with it, finding out the spirit was pretty much a lost cause, they exterminated it.

At the inn, they were faced with the task of pairing up for rooms. Before Wei Wuxian had even had the time to make eye contact, Jiang Cheng, still pretty mad about their conversation earlier, had moved next to one of the Nie disciples.

It was fine. If Wei Wuxian were to decide, he would rather share the room with Lan Zhan anyway. But he felt like he’d been making all the wrong moves with him lately, so instead of pushing his unwanted company on him, Wei Wuxian turned to Wen Ning.

“Want to room with me?” he asked, and while Wen Ning had at first looked pretty happy at the thought, opening his mouth, he suddenly looked a little bit pale.

“U-um, uh, I think – the next time?”

Wei Wuxian frowned, ready to ask if Wen Ning was alright – he hadn’t upset him, had he? But then Wen Ning had already turned to the other Nie disciple to ask him to share, and the Nie disciple said yes, so Wei Wuxian was out of options.

Lan Zhan’s gaze was pretty intense when he turned to him. Like he was trying to pin Wei Wuxian down with only a look and was doing a good job of it. Wei Wuxian wondered if he was mad about him asking Wen Ning. He wondered whether Lan Zhan had wanted to ask Wen Ning instead.

“Guess we’re sharing, then,” Wei Wuxian said, like everything was normal and Lan Zhan’s glare wasn’t hostile enough to choke him.

“Mn.”

He tried to feel normal while they ate, then, talking casually with everyone. And a while later, when they all turned in, Wei Wuxian acted like there weren’t a million little butterflies fluttering in the bottom of his stomach, making him feel all kinds of weird things.

They hadn’t been alone with Lan Zhan for three days. Which meant that they hadn’t touched each other for three days.

The moment the door closed behind them, Lan Zhan turned back to look at him. The act of indifference had somehow almost melted away, the look in his eyes pure heat. In an instant, Wei Wuxian was reminded of the burn of that tall, fit body on him, pinning him to a place with more than just a look.

There was a loaded moment of silence. Lan Zhan stared, and Wei Wuxian stared back, shoulders against the door. He felt seen, again. Lan Zhan, when he so wished, could make anyone feel like the center of the world with just one look. Right now, everything circled Wei Wuxian.

And then, like nothing, Lan Zhan’s eyes fell away from him, the moment broken. The frustration Wei Wuxian felt was unlike any other.

“We should bathe,” Lan Zhan said, the absolute demon.

Pushing himself from the doorway, Wei Wuxian promptly marched to him, taking him by the collar. Slipping a few fingers against the skin under it. “Why bother yet? Won’t you just be making me dirty again in a minute, Er-gege?”

Lan Zhan’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. Didn’t reply.

Wei Wuxian pulled them closer to each other, draping himself over Lan Zhan’s front like an especially bold courtesan. He could feel Lan Zhan’s heartbeat through his chest. Just as fast as his. “We have a bed, Lan Zhan. Are you really going to deny me?”

Usually, it took Lan Zhan a bit of goading to really get him frustrated enough to fuck Wei Wuxian. Now, like the promise of a bed and the three days between their last time were enough of a reason to discard the usual foreplay, Lan Zhan jerked him closer and kissed him.

Finally, thought Wei Wuxian, melting into the kiss. He knew he was greedy when it came to Lan Zhan. He knew he wanted things that Lan Zhan wasn’t willing to give him, but this one thing he could get. This one thing he was allowed.

Lan Zhan took him by the waist and lifted him in an effortless show of strength, throwing him on the bed. Wei Wuxian let himself loosen up against the mattress, spreading his thighs, making space for Lan Zhan between them. He was hastily tugging at his robes, trying to get them off.

Before he could do much more than untie his belt, Lan Zhan had already caught his wrists in a hold, forcing them above his head. He was so close, their shaky breaths mingling, and Lan Zhan’s pupils blown, burning. With the loose belt, Lan Zhan tied his hands on the headboard.

Wei Wuxian was warm all over, but that particular move made heat pool into his lower body, blush flare over his cheeks. “So dirty, Lan Zhan,” he said. “Trapping me like this.”

Lan Zhan didn’t reply. He was too busy opening Wei Wuxian’s robes, revealing a vast expanse of skin, eyes roaming unashamedly. When he tugged Wei Wuxian’s pants off, it was clear how much Wei Wuxian didn’t mind the treatment at all.

“Like what you see?” he asked as if Lan Zhan’s bulge wasn’t pressing on him. As if the way Lan Zhan’s hands skimmed against his skin was anything but appreciative.

Gently, Lan Zhan placed a kiss at the junction of his neck. Then a little lower, a little harsher. When he got to Wei Wuxian’s nipple, the gentleness was gone, and he bit down.

“Ah, Lan Zhan, what are you, a beast?” Wei Wuxian hissed, squirming under him, chest throbbing. Lan Zhan’s hand wrapped around his cock, but it didn’t do anything, just rested there, making Wei Wuxian swell further. It felt like a warning. “Be a little nicer to me!”

“Why?” Lan Zhan asked, and the fact that he replied was already something so out of the ordinary that Wei Wuxian couldn’t find anything to say immediately. And then Lan Zhan’s hand left his cock and slipped down, testing his hole, and Wei Wuxian’s head was empty anyway.

He hadn’t even known this was something that could be done, before. He hadn’t known that having someone inside could make his veins burn and his breath hitch. Now, after Lan Zhan, he couldn’t touch himself without being painfully aware of this.

Sometimes, on the days they did not do this, Wei Wuxian would slide his fingers inside, fuck himself on them like Lan Zhan would, and pretend they were Lan Zhan’s hands on him, opening him up.

But it never compared to the real thing. Lan Zhan’s fingers were longer and could hit an angle Wei Wuxian couldn’t. They were also less careful than his own, rubbing around the entrance with something slick before forcing two fingers in, eyes intent on Wei Wuxian’s face as the stretch of his hole made him let out a desperate groan.

Wei Wuxian, ever the prodigy, had quickly learned how to relax into it, how to move his hips in rhythm with whatever Lan Zhan chose to give him. He knew how to make it worthwhile for both of them.

He leaned up to kiss Lan Zhan, and for his effort, got Lan Zhan’s teeth biting into his lower lip. Normally, his hands would’ve already found their way to Lan Zhan’s hair. Now they were tied up, and Wei Wuxian was unable to do much else but wait for what Lan Zhan wished to give him.

It was the usual thing, thankfully. Fingers were replaced by the wet head of his cock, always seeming way too big to fully sheath in. Somehow, Wei Wuxian’s body opened for it anyway. He moaned into the kiss as Lan Zhan kept his hips still with an iron grip and slowly sunk in, bit by bit.

An eternity or a second later Lan Zhan started moving his hips. Both of their hips. Slamming into Wei Wuxian while pulling him back onto it, going deeper than usual, making Wei Wuxian feel the movement through his entire body to his throat.

Helpless to do much else but take it, Wei Wuxian threw his head back and groaned. Lan Zhan moved his lips to his jaw, kissed gently down his throat, all the while ruthlessly fucking into him.

“Too mean, too mean Er-gege!” His whole lower body was going to go numb from the way it was being treated. “You’re too deep!”

Uncaring, or just completely used to Wei Wuxian running his mouth, Lan Zhan kept on thrusting intensely, his beautiful face placid. If not for the color of his ears, the sped-up heartbeat, and the dark eyes, he would’ve looked completely normal. Unbothered, while making Wei Wuxian lose his mind.

Perhaps Lan Zhan was venting the frustrations of the past few days. Perhaps this was retaliation for all the fun little comments Wei Wuxian had thrown his way and forgotten. At least, Lan Zhan was showing him no pity, taking him roughly like this.

Wei Wuxian, barely able to catch his breath, wanted to touch on the line between Lan Zhan’s eyebrows. Smooth it out. Apologize for being such a bother to him, but then keep being that anyway, just to get Lan Zhan to do this to him.

The belt around his wrists was digging into his skin every time Lan Zhan’s thrusts moved him up on the bed. He knew he would be sore later, in multiple places. His legs were wrapped around Lan Zhan, but then the man took him by the knee and pushed it up and found a new angle, and Wei Wuxian could not think about anything for a while.

Good angle. Very good angle.

He might’ve babbled this to Lan Zhan, and other things as well. Teary-eyed, sweating, unable to keep his mouth shut. Lan Zhan didn’t shut him up either, merely fucking him like the noises were just egging him on.

“Mercy, Lan Er-gege,” he whined. “Show some m-mercy, alright? Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, this is way too much!”

“If you want mercy,” Lan Zhan replied, voice hoarse, “then be quiet.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t want mercy. He wanted Lan Zhan to fuck him so hard he would pass out. And then he wanted Lan Zhan to fuck him again until he woke up, and again, and again.

“We should rent this room for the whole week. You could, ah, keep me here, and, and –“ Lan Zhan changed the angle again, hitting straight at some spot that made Wei Wuxian see fireworks.

It went on much like that for a longer time than they were used to. In the library, it was often quick and dirty, both of them aware of the semi-public setting and danger of getting caught. Here, they had a bed and the whole night. Lan Zhan, while being ruthless from the start, clearly was in no hurry to stop.

It turned out that the esteemed Second Master Lan had an endurance so inhuman that by the time it started cracking, Wei Wuxian’s thoughts were a jumbled mess of pleasure, his mouth still going on and on, saying things like ‘too deep’ and ‘mercy’ and ‘Lan Zhan, please’.

In the end, he did pass out when the orgasm hit him.

Lan Zhan looked worried when he blinked his eyes back open. At least as much as someone without much expression could. There was the line again, between his brows. Wei Wuxian was swimming in bliss, head a little hazy. Lan Zhan was beautiful.

His hands had been freed at some point, clearly, because now he could lift his hand and cup Lan Zhan’s smooth cheek in his palm.

“Wei Ying?” Lan Zhan asked, and Wei Wuxian smiled at him.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian replied, and that was probably enough because the tiniest bit of tension disappeared, and Lan Zhan leaned against his hand.

They were both sticky and uncomfortable, Wei Wuxian extremely aware of the wetness pooling between his legs. Then he realized, with a flash of heat, that Lan Zhan was still hard against his stomach.

He couldn’t help himself from reaching out. If it were anyone but Lan Zhan, they would’ve probably let out a strangled noise. Instead what he got was a warning look.

“What, ah? Has Second Master Lan already grown bored of me?” Wei Wuxian asked, innocence itself. “Don’t we have this room for the entire night? Am I not here under you still, helpless?”

Lan Zhan looked at him for a long moment, eyes roaming over his face. And then, Wei Wuxian was being flipped over onto his stomach.

It was very, very late when they called for the bath.

-

Coming back to the Cloud Recesses was only a little bit suffocating. Having spent the last few days in relative freedom with slightly better food than what was offered here, the contrast was obvious.

But then, Lan Zhan didn’t try to outpace him on their way back, letting him talk his mouth off and even sometimes nodding and ‘mn’ing as a reply. Of course he wasn’t especially talkative back, nor did he much look at Wei Wuxian still, but at least this was some kind of progress, right?

It made him feel a bit giddy, the thought of Lan Zhan maybe warming up to him a little bit.

That feeling quickly evaporated back at the Cloud Recesses. They followed the usual routine again, only ever having long conversations in the library, Wei Wuxian getting ignored outside of it. He didn’t understand it. He didn’t know what were the things that made Lan Zhan more tolerant of him, and what were the things he despised.

Because when Wei Wuxian teased him, that led to fucking when they were in private. But that wasn’t all that Wei Wuxian did. He did say nice things to Lan Zhan! He did ask him to come spend time with him and his friends, and he did seek out Lan Zhan’s company.

He wasn’t all bad, he thought. Most people would’ve been flattered. Just not Lan Zhan.

Maybe it was something about him being so used to the flattery, and the praise, and everyone loving him. He said this to Jiang Cheng, one time, but Jiang Cheng told him it was literally only him, and could he shut up about Lan Wangji for once?

Wei Wuxian vented out this frustration by goading Lan Zhan into fucking him against the wall of the library, teeth in his neck, robes almost torn in Lan Zhan’s rush to get to his ass. It was fast and dirty and careless, and Wei Wuxian loved every second of it.

He should’ve known things were never going to turn out very well for him when he was reckless like that.

When he came back to the room he shared with Jiang Cheng, he didn’t think anything was that amiss. He could explain the swollen lips away, and nowadays he was pretty good at hiding the slight limp as well. He wasn’t overly disheveled, either – Lan Zhan often righted his collar and smoothed down the untidy folds of his robes before letting him leave.

But Jiang Cheng gave him one look when he got inside, and froze completely.

His face went from white to purple to red in quick succession, and then, when his inner emotional state finally settled on anger, he spat through his teeth: “So it’s true.”

Wei Wuxian, stiffened right before the door, gulped. “What’s true?”

“Who is it?” Jiang Cheng demanded. “Are there many of them?”

Wei Wuxian flattened himself against the door, thoughts racing. He was supposed to look fine, so how could Jiang Cheng know?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he lied, trying to sound light and casual and failing spectacularly.

Jiang Cheng scoffed, clearly furious. “Sure you don’t. That bite mark just appeared on your neck out of nowhere. Or did you run into a dog and forgot to tell me?”

Wei Wuxian let out an offended noise, hand flying up to his neck to cover it, but Jiang Cheng continued before he had the time to protest.

“I didn’t want to believe people when they said – just do you know what it looks like, you limping around and disappearing for the evenings and looking like – like that –do you know what it looks like?”

Something dropped in his stomach. “I wouldn’t –“

“You wouldn’t what? It’s obvious you would, are you stupid enough to deny it now?” Jiang Cheng snapped, waving his hand towards the evidence on Wei Wuxian’s skin. “Do you even realize what this does to your reputation? Do you understand what people think about you?”

Flushed with sudden embarrassment, Wei Wuxian scowled. “What does it matter what they think?”

“Of course it fucking matters, are you an idiot? Who’s going to marry you when they think you’re being – immodest, just bedding people left and right?”

“I don’t care,” Wei Wuxian replied. The thought of his marriageability was not his main concern, since it wasn’t with Lan Zhan. If he were to marry, he would just –

His head drew a blank. Jiang Cheng kept glowering at him. “Of course you don’t care, of course you don’t! You never think these things through, you just go with the first instinct and let just anyone –“

“’Let’?” the louder Jiang Cheng got, the lower Wei Wuxian’s voice went. “Don’t say it like I’m not an active participant.”

“Oh yes, I can see how active you’re being, running after people like you’re desperate for it,” Jiang Cheng hissed.

Wei Wuxian grit his teeth. He turned away from his shidi, then intent on ignoring him. Ignoring the anger that was – unfounded, completely unfounded, what right did Jiang Cheng have to judge him? It wasn’t like he didn’t know he was in the wrong.

Uncaring of Jiang Cheng being there, now that he already knew, Wei Wuxian started making a bath for himself. It didn’t matter if he saw the rest of the marks. The way Lan Zhan had ravaged his skin.

Jiang Cheng just wasn’t done with him. “Who is it?”

“None of your business,” Wei Wuxian replied. The bathwater was scalding when his hand touched it. Good.

“None of my business? You’re still a Jiang disciple, you’re our head disciple.” Something cold went down Wei Wuxian’s spine at that. “You don’t think this is going to reflect on our sect, too, if the rumors are proven true? You don’t think this has already made us look bad?”

Wei Wuxian didn’t reply. He couldn’t. Something deep inside him had frozen, terrified, suddenly realizing the full weight of his actions. Doing something like this, when it only affected him, was fine. He did not care what people thought about him. He wasn’t seeking anyone’s approval. But...

Not forcing Lan Zhan to marry him was one thing when it was just about them. But what if someone were to find out, someone other than Jiang Cheng, and it was not only about them anymore? He would not demand Lan Zhan marry him, no matter what. But when the whole thing was tied to the reputation of Yunmeng Jiang, what choice would Wei Wuxian have, other than to –

He would leave, wouldn’t he? Cut the ties between his actions and those of the Jiang sect. Make it seem like it was only one rotten apple, instead of the whole tree.

He did not answer Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian shook himself out of his robes and slipped into the water, the guilt gnawing at him.

In the end, Jiang Cheng only said, voice gloomy: “At least you’re not siring any bastards.”

Wei Wuxian stared at the surface of his bathwater, his body underneath. Lan Zhan’s fingerprints on his thighs.

“How do you know?”

“You are limping, idiot.”

Wei Wuxian put his head under the water. Jiang Cheng had left when he resurfaced.

-

He found Lan Zhan not by conscious effort, but rather by happening to hear the sound of his guqin, echoing in the forest around him. It was the same beautiful melody he’d heard in fragments before, only now it seemed like it had been finished.

The man himself was seated by a big ginkgo tree, looking serene, proper, and all the other things an esteemed Hanguang-jun was supposed to look. Beautiful, mainly, like the song he was playing. Tugging at Wei Wuxian’s tender heartstrings.

The long fingers, once again, stilled on the instrument as Wei Wuxian sat down next to him. Said nothing. He merely rested his head back on the tree behind him, looking up. Sunlight shone through the light green leaves. Gusu was really too pretty.

Lan Zhan’s eyes were on him, then. Searching. For once, Wei Wuxian didn’t feel the need to send him a shameless comment or meet the gaze. He just wanted to sit there, next to Lan Zhan’s warmth, and try to forget the feeling of failure for a while.

He hadn’t seen Jiang Cheng today. He didn’t know what he would’ve said if he had.

He wondered how long it would take for Lan Zhan to stand up and leave him this time. If the hourglass was already turned and running out of sand. Lan Zhan’s tolerance of him came in slow bursts, a limited amount of time Wei Wuxian had to use well to get to enjoy it to its full extent.

There was a shocking little moment, his heart beating in double when instead of rushing away from him, Lan Zhan asked: “What is wrong?”

“Nothing,” Wei Wuxian said easily, flashing a smile. Lan Zhan’s golden eyes were too intelligent; he avoided them. “Your song’s ready, I take it? It really does sound amazing, Lan Zhan.”

A short silence, one where Lan Zhan’s eyes stayed on him. Then, “Mn. It is ready.”

“Play it for me?” Wei Wuxian asked because that was always something he did with Lan Zhan. Asked for things he shouldn’t, always too much and too audacious.

To his utter surprise, Lan Zhan’s eyes stayed on him for a heartbeat or two, before the man turned to his guqin and started playing again. Slowly, carefully, like every note was to be perfect.

Wei Wuxian released tension he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, turning to look at Lan Zhan again. His eyes were cast down, watching the strings as he tugged them into the shape of a melody that both tore Wei Wuxian’s chest open and mended it back together.

He liked this song. It sounded like Lan Zhan, and deep feelings, and yearning. He didn’t know much about any of those things, but perhaps something inside of him did, because it hurt a little less, sitting there by Lan Zhan’s side and listening to it.

He thought he could duet it with his dizi. It might even sound good if he made an effort.

Lan Zhan deserved the effort. Perhaps Wei Wuxian would practice a little bit alone before surprising Lan Zhan with it. He imagined something pleased in Lan Zhan’s eyes if he were to do that. A wistful little fantasy, where Lan Zhan would be happy with him.

Perhaps happy enough to finally acknowledge Wei Wuxian. Become his friend.

The final notes of the song lingered in the air long after Lan Zhan’s hands had stilled. Wei Wuxian watched his head tilt downward, a ray of sunlight hit the crown holding his hair. Then his eyes found Wei Wuxian’s, holding the gaze, unhurried.

Wei Wuxian didn’t smile anymore. He didn’t know what Lan Zhan found in his eyes, with his gaze so intent, so searching. Whatever it was didn’t seem to please him.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said before he could stop himself. “Why do you hate me so much?”

It did not feel too strange a question to him. After all, had Lan Zhan not avoided him at every turn, called him ‘shameless’ and ‘pathetic’ and every kind of trait his sect might deem irredeemable?

But it was obviously something like a shock that flickered past Lan Zhan’s eyes, even when his face stayed neutral, his gaze still on Wei Ying. Another difficult expression appeared to deepen his frown, this one impossible for Wei Wuxian to read.

“I do not hate you,” Lan Zhan replied, a little delayed.

Something ached in Wei Wuxian’s chest. “That’s probably forbidden in your rules, too, right?”

“Yes, but that is not – Wei Ying.” The line between Lan Zhan’s brows deepened as he looked at Wei Wuxian.

”Aren’t I bothersome? Shameless, impudent, pathetic? Annoying?” Wei Wuxian listed, willing his voice not to crack. Keeping it light, so light, and casual. ”...Easy?”

It shouldn’t have mattered, what Lan Zhan said. This Second Master Lan was boring, intolerant, petty. He was also the best person Wei Wuxian knew, and if he thought Wei Wuxian truly was bad, then what did that say about him?

But Lan Zhan’s expression was difficult, as he kept his gaze on him. It was like he was trying to find the words, and in the end, only repeated: ”I do not hate you.”

Lan Zhan didn’t lie, so was there even a choice for him to do anything but believe him? Wei Wuxian let out a long breath through his nose, the ache in his chest persistent.

Wasn’t he just too good, his Lan Zhan? Saying these words to him, even though it must have been terribly unpleasant to him. Staying like this with him when he had seen Wei Wuxian was upset.

He looked at Lan Zhan’s eyes, the question in them he could not understand, and suddenly realized just what he had been doing. It wouldn’t matter what people thought of Wei Wuxian. That would never be important when Wei Wuxian himself knew his own thoughts and motives.

But he could bring the same negative attention on Yunmeng and Lan Zhan both. Lan Zhan, who was pure and righteous and who would’ve been honorable, had Wei Wuxian just let him, that first time. But he did not want Lan Zhan to ruin his future for him. He had not realized how much this, what they were doing, could affect Lan Zhan’s life as well.

People already thought Wei Wuxian to be promiscuous. And he was constantly running after Lan Zhan, trying to get his attention – just what would they think if Lan Zhan were to allow those overly familiar greetings? The flirting, the touches? Never mind return them.

Something twisted inside him each time he thought of Lan Zhan’s future marriage, but it was even worse to think about the possibility that Wei Wuxian could take that from him. That he could ruin Lan Zhan with his thoughtlessness.

Hadn’t he already taken so much, with this constant provocation and teasing?

It felt almost laughably obvious now, how wrong he had been. When had there been a time Lan Zhan made the first move? There hadn’t, of course there hadn’t. Lan Zhan was good. Lan Zhan knew what was wrong and what was right, and he had let Wei Wuxian drag him down with him so many times without complaints.

Lan Zhan’s eyes were burning him, and Wei Wuxian wished he could keep that look. He wished Lan Zhan would look at him, and find him pleasing, and easy to spend time with. He wished Lan Zhan didn’t have to feel obligated to make Wei Wuxian feel better when he saw him upset like this.

He wished so many things, but he had been so terribly selfish so far. Lan Zhan’s attention was not for him to keep. In wishing that, he had only put both of their reputations at risk.

“Okay, Lan Zhan,” he replied, the smile real on his face, if a little thin. “I’m glad you don’t.”

“Mn,” replied Lan Zhan, eyes still searching his face.

Too kind, this Hanguang-jun. Making sure he was fine. It was entirely too unfortunate that Wei Wuxian couldn’t stop the sting under his ribs at will. He already missed Lan Zhan’s hands on him. He could never let that happen, again.

It had only ever been about controlling himself, hadn’t it? Lan Zhan’s control of himself had been fabled before Wei Wuxian showed up and ruined that for him as well.

“Why don’t you play me another song, then, Hanguang-jun? I love it when you play,” he said, trying to smile wide enough to crescent his eyes, to mask the feeling under the surface.

Lan Zhan’s eyes were keen, but he was not the type to argue over nonsense. What could he ask, what could he say? Wei Wuxian was stubborn in his show of nonchalance.

So Lan Zhan turned to his guqin once again and started tugging the strings, playing music that felt like healing and calm and the sound of rain. Wei Wuxian let himself dwell on the picture before his eyes; Lan Zhan’s serious face framed by sunlight.

He was going to do better by him.

-

Chapter Text

The next time he was alone with Lan Zhan in the library pavilion together, Wei Wuxian kept himself in line. All of his clothes were perfectly appropriate on him, tied neatly, and his posture held only the slightest bit of slouch. Nothing for Lan Zhan to comment on.

It was late afternoon, the sun low in the sky already, a sign of days getting shorter. Wei Wuxian focused on the characters he was drawing, stroke by stroke. His skin tingled in the place he wanted to be touched, but he had to ignore it.

He had already gotten addicted to it, hadn’t he? Being so loose, so wanton? Thinking with his flesh rather than with his brain. Getting lost in the thoughts of a hot mouth against his, a hand between his thighs. Lan Zhan had made him easy for him, all without even noticing it.

Lan Zhan would never do it on purpose. Perhaps that’s why it was so simple for Wei Wuxian to forget himself and go too far.

They had already crossed the line back in the cold spring. The first time

He did not think he had lost anything, back then. He did not think either him or Lan Zhan was worse for it. But the thought of marrying someone else after it –

The thought of someone’s hands on him, someone bowing thrice with him –

Lan Zhan was not ruined by him; Lan Zhan was untouchable. And Wei Wuxian was not ruined by Lan Zhan; something in Lan Zhan should’ve been filthy, for Wei Wuxian to become tainted by him.

He knew this. He knew this, and still…

He thought about the conference in Lanling, and the ruined robes. White was such an easy color to stain. Everything from wet patches to fingerprints was glaringly obvious. There was a reason why Wei Wuxian wore red and black.

After a while of admittedly curious silence, where Wei Wuxian merely copied his lines without bothering his overseer, the man in question turned to look at him. He did not look up. He could not meet that gaze without wanting to convince himself to do it again.

By this time, he would’ve surely already started talking nonsense. Wasn’t Lan Zhan there to punish him, so where was his punishment? Didn’t Lan Er-gege want him to learn his lesson?

Some days it took lots of goading and coaxing for Lan Zhan to lose it. Other days Wei Wuxian had to only spread himself on the table suggestively and ask for it. Today, the table was full of papers and ink, and Wei Wuxian’s handwriting was almost neat.

He couldn’t help but peek when the staring hadn’t ceased after a while. Lan Zhan’s gaze shot up from where it had been on his collar, neat and proper and showing no skin.

The eyes were unreadable, now, as he took in Wei Wuxian’s raised eyebrow and half-smile. As if it was Lan Zhan whose actions were confusing, and Wei Wuxian had to be to one to question them gently with his expression.

The silence was loaded, stretching between them. Waiting to be filled with words unsuited for an environment so conventional. It didn’t feel like the time Lan Zhan’s hand had silenced him, when Wei Wuxian was sitting in his lap and smiling with his eyes despite it. Lan Zhan had left this silence open for him.

But in the end, Lan Zhan truly was thin-faced enough to not question Wei Wuxian’s behavior out loud.

What was he going to say? Why have you not already pushed me to the point of anger where I forget the three thousand rules of our sect and have you?

He wondered if Lan Zhan would be more relieved or cheered up after he realized Wei Wuxian wouldn’t be goading him into it anymore. That he could go on living his life without the guilt of breaking such rules. Wei Wuxian felt guilty, so Lan Zhan must’ve felt doubly so.

Lan Zhan’s sense of propriety caught up with him first, and like there had not been eye contact at all, he turned back to his copying, back straight and mouth a thin line. Wei Wuxian admired his face for one agonizing moment more, before continuing with his own work.

He wanted to reach over the table and tug at one of the long, shiny strands of Lan Zhan’s hair. Say something shameless, and get Lan Zhan to glare at him.

In the end, the hour went by without much nonsense, Wei Wuxian’s thumb aching for holding the brush by the end of it. Lan Zhan started collecting the scrolls with unhurried movements, and Wei Wuxian helped.

When the table was cleared, and there was no sign of their studying at all, Wei Wuxian finally opened his mouth. Lan Zhan’s eyes jumped on him immediately, whole body doing the thing where it looked like it had almost stopped in time, mesmerizingly motionless.

“Thank you for today,” Wei Wuxian said, meaning it. “See you tomorrow?”

After two dragging seconds, where Lan Zhan merely stared at him, he finally nodded jerkily. And then, without giving Wei Wuxian another glance, he left the library.

It should’ve been only good, that Lan Zhan reacted like that. It should’ve made Wei Wuxian relieved, that when he was not the one making a move, Lan Zhan would not do it either. This had underlined the problem so clearly it felt almost shamefully obvious.

Because it had always been him, forcing Lan Zhan into this. Now he refused to do it, and they were both better off for it.

-

It had become a reflex, at one point, to always have his senses pinpoint Lan Zhan’s presence wherever they were. A flash of the particular white of the Second Jade of Lan, and Wei Wuxian’s hand would be already up, his lips spread into a blinding smile, Lan Zhan’s name on his lips.

But the thought of those rumors was now constant in the back of his mind, compelling him, for once, to think of how his actions could affect Lan Zhan. There was a direct road from rumors to consequences in the cultivation world.

He had already done enough damage. He would not add to it just because it was hard for him to not go immediately chasing after Lan Zhan when the class ended or the sparring started.

The only problem was that, well, Lan Zhan noticed. And Wei Wuxian would never go as far as to say that Lan Zhan cared because mostly Lan Zhan’s reactions to him getting friendly had been glaring and avoidance, which even Wei Wuxian could admit were not entirely encouraging responses.

Only now, when Wei Wuxian suppressed the need to call after Lan Zhan, there was something like a faltering step in Lan Zhan’s movements, which must’ve been something he imagined, because Hanguang-jun did not falter in his steps.

And he would never presume Lan Zhan was as aware of his presence as Wei Wuxian was of his, but then sometimes, when Wei Wuxian’s lips were already open around the shape of his name, and he caught himself at the last moment, Lan Zhan’s eyes would find him, and there would be a second of eye contact, which would be broken by Wei Wuxian smiling at him and then turning back to his friends.

Things were off, and strange, and the more this continued, the more cold and distant Lan Zhan got.

They hadn’t been friendly before, but currently, it seemed like Lan Zhan was building a fortress around himself, getting more and more expressionless, more and more uncaring. The hours spent in the library were becoming almost unbearable with the tense silence between them.

Wei Wuxian tried not to care. He really did.

But he didn’t really sleep all that well, now. He missed Lan Zhan, as much as he could miss someone with whom he was spending the exact same amount of time as before, only now without annoying them the whole time. The thoughts of someone finding out about them and taking it out on Lan Zhan were not exactly pleasant, either.

That, and also, he…well. He hadn’t been touched in a while, and he was a young man, and his memory was full of moments that he could replay again and again while having his shaking hands inside his pants. Before and during it his head was hazy, but afterward, as if to punish him for the deed, he felt nothing but clear guilt.

He wasn’t supposed to use Lan Zhan’s image in his head for those purposes. He couldn’t sleep.

The debauched look changed into an exhausted one, and even Jiang Cheng, who had pretended he did not exist for several days, was starting to look at him with a bit of concern. He didn’t ask, though.

Wei Wuxian’s other friends didn’t give him the same courtesy.

“Are you alright?” Wen Ning asked one time after class when they were heading to the sparring field.

Wei Wuxian gave him a bright smile. “What, of course I’m alright! What are you looking so worried for, ah, Wen Ning?”

“You look very tired,” Wen Ning said, tone unbearably kind.

“It’s just the Lan sect’s weird sleeping schedule. I’m still not used to it,” he said, and it wasn’t even that big of a lie. “In Yunmeng I went to sleep at one and slept until nine. My body is just confused.”

Wen Ning nodded, but there was still a frown on his face. “If you need help falling asleep, my sister could make you a potion. She’s a healer.”

“Oh, you’ve got a sister? I’ve got a sister too, she’s amazing,” Wei Wuxian said, and then managed to distract Wen Ning by monologuing about Shijie.

It had always proved an effective tactic. Wen Ning talked about his own sister, and then they were at the sparring field sooner than they noticed.

Wen Ning clearly wasn’t done with him, though. He changed the topic back to his bad sleeping habits immediately as Wei Wuxian pulled out his sword, ready to let out all the excess frustration and dissatisfaction of the past few days.

“I’m not sure if that is such a good idea,” Wen Ning said, eyeing him with caution. “You might make mistakes and injure yourself like this.”

Wei Wuxian snorted. “I’m tired, not dying.”

“Maybe it would be better for you to go back to your room and take a nap,” Wen Ning suggested.

He waved his sword a little, testing if his balance had suffered much with the lack of sleep. “To my room? Ah, Wen Ning! You know how my body is confused, right? How about you help me push it to a point where I pass out?”

For some reason, Wei Wuxian got chills. He turned to look at Wen Ning, who wasn’t answering, and instead was staring down at his feet with a deathly pale face. Confused, Wei Wuxian looked to his side.

Oh. Lan Zhan was standing there, eyes flaming, glaring at him like he’d just insulted his mother. Absolutely furious.

The part of Wei Wuxian that associated that look with getting fucked breathless sent a wave of heat through him. The part of Wei Wuxian that was still rational made him freeze, both confused and a little upset over it. What had he done now?

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, and it came out in one embarrassing breath.

Instead of answering him, Wei Wuxian got only a few more seconds of scornful glowering, before Hanguang-jun moved his eyes off of him and walked past without saying another word.

Wei Wuxian watched him make his way to the other side of the field, as far away from Wei Wuxian as possible. Soon he was joined by the Peacock – who else, who else but the Peacock!

Wei Wuxian felt both angry and disappointed, but he could not tell whether it was towards Lan Zhan or himself. It wasn’t like he didn’t know! Lan Zhan disliked him and was not afraid of showing it. That Wei Wuxian had stopped bothering him did not mean that Lan Zhan would suddenly like him, just because.

Besides, it was better like this, wasn’t it? No one would look at Lan Zhan now and think unkindly of him. No one would think that someone who so obviously despised Wei Wuxian would have slept with him.

So Wei Wuxian took his sword and pointed it at Wen Ning, forcing himself back into a carefree mood. With a smile, he asked the other man: “Well?”

And with a final nervous glance at where Lan Zhan was clearly planning to beat the Peacock to death, Wen Ning replied: “Sure.”

-

“You’ve stopped bothering Lan Wangji.”

Wei Wuxian glanced down at his brother from the branch where he was seated. Jiang Cheng wasn’t looking at him, back leaning against the trunk, expression not as annoyed as normally.

“I have,” Wei Wuxian agreed, closing his eyes again. Shijie didn’t like it when he napped on trees, but what Shijie didn’t know could not hurt her.

“Why?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked. “What am I going to do when Lan Qiren hears about those rumors you mentioned and thinks I have ruined his nephew?”

“No one’s going to think that,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s Lan Wangji.”

“I suppose,” Wei Wuxian said, and thought about it. No one could look at Lan Zhan and he was anything but perfect. Still, why take the risk? Even if the chance was small, if it was there, it was too much. Risking Lan Zhan was too much.

They stayed in silence for a moment, Wei Wuxian enjoying the gentle wind caressing his cheek. He was so tired.

“Look,” Jiang Cheng’s hesitant voice cut through the silence. “When I said those things...I didn’t mean for you to – to become like that.”

“Like what?”

Jiang Cheng was quiet again. Wei Wuxian thought it must’ve been the Madam Yu in him: chronic incapability to say words of comfort, or admit to having been in the wrong.

It wasn’t like Wei Wuxian thought that Jiang Cheng had been that, in any case. But he really was tired, and some of the things he had said had maybe hit some sensitive places, so he let the guy struggle a little.

“You just never think these things through,” Jiang Cheng, in the end.

Wei Wuxian sighed. Another lecture. “Save it, Jiang Cheng.”

“No, I mean – you might not care about what people say about you, but I –“ A frustrated pause. Wei Wuxian peeked from the corner of his eye. Jiang Cheng had balled his hands into fists. “Some of the shit they say is just – vile.”

“Oh? What kind of things do they say?”

“Why are you still so nonchalant about it?” Jiang Cheng demanded. “Asking about it, like it’s nothing.”

“Whose good opinion have I lost, Jiang Cheng? Do you hate me? Does Wen Ning hate me, does Nie Huaisang hate me?”

“I hate you,” Jiang Cheng muttered.

“Now, Jiang Cheng, be fair. We’re counting the people who hate me because of these rumors, not those who hate me because they’re still mad about losing eight to ten against me in the archery competition last summer.”

“You went against the rules,” came the answer in an annoyed huff. “But that’s not – stop changing the subject.”

Wei Wuxian sighed again. “What’s there to talk about anymore? I’m not...doing it anymore, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s like nothing ever happened.”

Jiang Cheng scoffed. “Right. Like nothing happened. “

There was another silence, then, this time a little less tense. This was perhaps the least tension the two of them had had between each other for a while. They hadn’t really spoken after the last time, both way too prone to avoiding the issue rather than talking it out.

It seemed Jiang Cheng wasn’t restricted like that, now. The next time he opened his mouth, his voice was lower, even more hesitant than before. “That person...they didn’t take advantage, right?”

Wei Wuxian let out a surprised snort. “Jiang Cheng! So worried for me, aren’t you? Very sweet, I feel very cared-for. Shijie would be so proud of you.”

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng snapped. “I know what you said, but – do you really not care?”

“About what?”

“Marriage.” Jiang Cheng turned to frown at him, the harsh angles of his face sharper. “That person – you liked them enough to – you liked them well enough. So why don’t you…”

“It’s not that simple.” Wei Wuxian thought of the way Lan Zhan had said his name that first time. How it had been so obvious what would come next: assurances. Marriage proposal. Lan Zhan throwing his happiness away just to be honorable.

Wei Wuxian could imagine years of Lan Zhan’s stoic endurance. The man might’ve found him physically desirable, but being married meant so much more than sex. And the first step – becoming friends – Lan Zhan had rejected.

“So you do,” Jiang Cheng said, accusation in his voice. “But they don’t.”

“Why are you still so hung up on this, ah?” Wei Wuxian felt a familiar little ache in his chest. “It’s over, so shouldn’t we move forward? Pretend nothing happened? Give me some face, Jiang Cheng.”

Maybe there was something in his voice that revealed more than he wished, but Jiang Cheng’s eyes on him had now narrowed, his gaze searching.

“Who is it?”

“What? No one. Just leave it.”

“You want to marry them,” Jiang Cheng accused, and Wei Wuxian had to give him an unimpressed look to hide how his heart was beating in his throat.

“I want peace and quiet,” Wei Wuxian stated. “And Shijie’s pork ribs and lotus root soup.”

Jiang Cheng gave him a final long look before shaking his head. Wei Wuxian continued napping, then, and his shidi did not raise the topic again.

-

The thing was, Wei Wuxian should’ve known what he wanted. And he did, technically, only now whenever he was depriving himself of those things he wanted, he also felt weird about it. He felt feelings he didn’t understand, that he would’ve normally made disappear with a mind-shattering orgasm, but now couldn’t, so he just had to live with it.

He knew that friendship with Lan Zhan was something he wanted. He knew also that being physical with Lan Zhan was something he very much liked. He enjoyed Lan Zhan’s anger; he craved for his good opinion. He also knew that trying to get Lan Zhan to become his friend was a fruitless task with more potential negatives than positives.

In the worst case, Wei Wuxian’s desperate attempts at gaining Lan Zhan’s favor would lead to an even greater dislike towards him, and also many unfortunate rumors. There was no best case. Lan Zhan had, on countless occasions, made his opinion on Wei Wuxian clear.

So Wei Wuxian didn’t know what he felt, then, when during one of their final times copying together in the library, Lan Zhan was the one to break the silence.

“We received a letter,” Lan Zhan stated calmly, voice deep and unwavering like he hadn’t just made Wei Wuxian wince so bad there were dots of ink all over his paper, “from a border village.”

“Oh?” Wei Wuxian croaked, immediately both interested and somehow hopeful, like it meant something that Lan Zhan was telling him this. Didn’t it? Lan Zhan didn’t start conversations, except when it was to admonish him.

“It is about an aggressive yao,” Lan Zhan elaborated.

“Which one?”

“We do not know,” Lan Zhan replied. “The letter was unclear.”

Wei Wuxian pursed his lips, eyes glinting. “So a night-hunt, ah? Lan Er-gege, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were asking me to join.”

The words left his mouth quicker than he could help himself. He felt the effect of it, immediately, in the way Lan Zhan’s gaze intensified somehow. Wei Wuxian’s stomach was doing backflips. He was treading on dangerous waters.

“Mn,” said Lan Zhan, like it didn’t make Wei Wuxian’s world tilt a little.

What did he mean, ‘mn ’? What, he wanted Wei Wuxian to join him on the night-hunt? He wanted to willingly spend more time with Wei Wuxian, whom he had pointedly shown no attachment towards for months on end by now?

Here he was, Second Master Lan, making Wei Wuxian’s chest ache once again with no explanation. It was never supposed to be easy, to leave Lan Zhan alone. But it wasn’t supposed to be Lan Zhan who made it harder.

“Oh. Ah, okay,” Wei Wuxian replied, thrown for so big of a loop he could do nothing but stare.

Lan Zhan looked normal. Just normal, with his perfect face that held no expression, with his square posture and no hair out of place. It wasn’t like Wei Wuxian had been an expert in reading Lan Zhan in the past, but sometimes he could at least tell some of his motives.

He didn’t understand any of it, now.

“I – I hope it’s something big,” Wei Wuxian said before he could start thinking about it too much. “It’s no fun if it’s something very easy to kill. Especially if we have Hanguang-jun with us, can you imagine going that far just to – “

So Wei Wuxian started babbling, and once he’d started, it was impossible to stop. He liked talking to Lan Zhan. It was the nodding and the ‘mn’ing and the way Lan Zhan watched him that – Wei Wuxian was a weak man, alright? He was weak, and he had Lan Zhan’s undivided attention.

It wouldn’t be so bad, right, if he only ever did it in the library? No one saw them there. No one saw Lan Zhan humoring him by inclining his head during the silly parts of his stories. No one was there to think bad things about Lan Zhan based on this one moment where Wei Wuxian spoke to him.

But Wei Wuxian still didn’t understand what it meant. The invitation to the hunt could – must – have been because of his skill, but the way Lan Zhan indulged him like this, letting him talk his mouth off in the library when they were supposed to copy in silence.

He didn’t understand, and he was too afraid to ask. So he took what he was given, and made a promise in his mind to only step out of line like this if it was initiated by Lan Zhan.

-

Lan Zhan kept initiating. At first, it was subtle. A nod over the courtyard that Wei Wuxian would’ve missed had his whole being not been so attuned to Lan Zhan’s presence. Eye contact during class, when the topic turned to something particularly interesting.

Something very quiet, and very Lan Zhan. Something Wei Wuxian’s entire being craved.

Lan Zhan would wait by the door for him to finish without taking off to the library pavilion alone like he’d done before. He would give Wei Wuxian a searching look when he didn’t immediately start talking.

When the copying had gone on quietly for a while, Lan Zhan would take a break, and ask him a question. Something that was always too seriously asked, like answering it wrong might have severe consequences. And he did not leave Wei Wuxian hanging, either.

What did you think of today’s lesson? I see. Mn. Sharing answers is not allowed. Mn.

Wei Wuxian did not understand. There was a fire under his ribs, and he did not understand.

He tried to keep his distance and be appropriate still. He said hi back when Lan Zhan greeted him, but he did not shout across the Cloud Recesses just to get Lan Zhan’s attention. He nodded back. He talked and talked and talked when Lan Zhan asked, and forgot to be proper for a moment, and forgot to be someone respectable.

And then, at the sparring field, before anyone else managed to approach Wei Wuxian, Lan Zhan asked him to fight. It had been a while, with the Peacock always stealing his chances, and with Lan Zhan himself appearing more and more rarely.

Now he was looking at Wei Wuxian with something strange in his eyes, and Wei Wuxian had no choice but to say yes. It was politely said. Even if the onlookers were keen, there would be no way for them to notice the adrenaline pumping inside Wei Wuxian’s veins or the way his heartbeat had doubled yet again.

“You’ve only been sparring against the Peacock,” Wei Wuxian said, voice masked in playfulness. “Might the Second Master Lan be a bit rusty, with no one proper to fight with?”

“Wei Ying,” he said in admonishment, but if Wei Wuxian wasn’t entirely off, there could’ve been the slightest bit of amusement in his voice.

Wei Wuxian attacked first. He loved this little dance they did, the first thing he’d truly admired about Lan Zhan from the bottom of his heart. The skill, the way he made it look effortless.

Lan Zhan was a sight anywhere he went. But there was nothing quite like having the Second Jade of Lan’s darkened eyes on him, pushing where he wanted him to pull, unyielding when he wished him to bend. Too gifted, his Lan Zhan, in making Wei Wuxian breathless.

It took a while for Wei Wuxian to ruin it completely again.

He was supposed to dodge and catch Lan Zhan by his collar to push him in the other direction, laughing and carefree in his joy over getting so close. But Lan Zhan didn’t move the way he predicted, so instead of pushing their bodies apart, he pulled them closer.

He practically leaped into Lan Zhan’s arms, hand grasping his neckline. Suddenly, their faces were very, close to each other, eyes wide and heavy breaths hitting each other’s lips. Lan Zhan’s normally so pale eyes were dark again, his body strong against Wei Wuxian. So familiar in its shape.

For a heartbeat, he didn’t react. Then, like all the sense that had left him had just hit him again all at the same time, he scrambled back.

“H-haha, I yield, I yield,” he said, trying desperately to sound anything but breathless and turned on. “I swear that was an accident, Lan Zhan, don’t look at me like that.”

What others might’ve taken as a murderous glare had been something Wei Wuxian was intimately familiar with. That one look that told Wei Wuxian he was going to get devoured had been there, in the depth of the darkness in Lan Zhan’s eyes.

Now, the same face was closed off, distant. Lan Zhan didn’t say anything. Wei Wuxian coughed and then turned around without giving a glance to anyone who might’ve been following their fight. There were always several people. He didn’t want to know what that must’ve looked like to them.

It had been a mistake, trusting himself around Lan Zhan for even a little bit. One wrong move could start a spiral of questions. Hadn’t Wei Wuxian been a bit too bold with Second Master Lan? Had Lan Wangji not been a bit too lenient with him? He had, after all, let Wei Wuxian touch him without immediately issuing him a punishment. Did this not say something about them?

Wei Wuxian could barely think about the consequences of that. Lan Zhan did not deserve it, not especially now, after…

He thought about the invitation to the night-hunt. Lan Zhan, after Wei Wuxian had not propositioned him in a while, perhaps finally seeing some merit to becoming his friend. And now Wei Wuxian, unable to be anything but enthralled by Lan Zhan’s being, taking liberties.

He didn’t know why his heart was beating so painfully about it.

-

By the time they left for the village, their night-hunt party was made of people he didn’t know about, plus Lan Zhan and Wen Ning. That Wen Ning was there had been Wei Wuxian’s doing. It felt like the poor guy got often left out of these kinds of things, and Wei Wuxian really thought it would do him some good to get out of the Cloud Recesses every now and then.

Also, he might’ve needed a little mental support, and both Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang would be awful for that. Well, Nie Huaisang might have worked if the guy could keep himself together in the face of cultivation-related danger. Night-hunts weren’t Huaisang’s strong point.

He’d gone out of his way to ask Lan Xichen if Wen Ning could come, and the man had smiled at him very pleasantly before agreeing.

Lan Zhan didn’t seem quite as pleased as his brother had been if the complete lack of expression added to the bone-chilling look in his eyes could be interpreted that way.

Wei Wuxian was a little confused about it, but after thinking about it for a moment, he concluded that perhaps Lan Zhan had some kind of a protective streak. Wen Ning wasn’t quite as strong a cultivator as the two of them, but facing this yao still shouldn’t have been too big of a challenge.

Not that Wei Wuxian would let anything bad happen to his friend anyway. Besides the obvious reasons like caring about his well-being, Wei Wuxian really couldn’t be left alone with Lan Zhan right now. The strange shift in their dynamic was pushing Wei Wuxian out of balance. He couldn’t trust himself around Lan Zhan.

It was a hellish cycle. Lan Zhan apparently liked him more now since Wei Wuxian wasn’t seducing him, and since Lan Zhan liked him more, Lan Zhan made friendly gestures toward him, which in turn made Wei Wuxian want to seduce him more, which made Lan Zhan dislike him, and the whole world think that Lan Zhan was someone that could be seduced, and that, while true, did not reflect Lan Zhan’s good and just character, and Wei Wuxian was going to die.

It was all a bit much for him, especially after having slept so poorly for a while.

He might’ve hidden a lot behind Wen Ning on their way to the village, chattering a little every now and acting like nothing was off, but mostly just trying to avoid Lan Zhan’s burning gaze in discomfort. It was on him the whole time. A while before he would’ve been overjoyed; now, the heaviness of that look was going to do him in.

Wen Ning was kind of twitchy. He did reply whenever Wei Wuxian talked to him, but there was a distinct nervous quality to his speech. And he kept glancing at Lan Zhan, too.

After a very long flight, their little group decided to stop at the first town they saw. Once they found a decent enough looking inn, Wei Wuxian realized something. Their group was an uneven number; one would get to sleep alone. It was obvious to him who was supposed to get their own room.

Lan Zhan preferred solidute and definitely deserved his own space more than the rest of them. Even the other disciples, who Wei Wuxian didn’t know but had talked to a bit by now, seemed to automatically pair up instead of demand the room for themselves.

Wei Wuxian caught Wen Ning by the sleeve. “Well, we’ve paired up! See you guys in the morning!”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, making him stop before he had the time to run upstairs with the poor guy who had frozen into a statue next to him. Wen Ning really looked way too pale sometimes!

“Lan Zhan?” he willed the nervous note away from his voice. The look Lan Zhan was leveling at him was making him feel like he’d done something terribly wrong.

“…” Lan Zhan’s eyes flickered to where Wei Wuxian was gripping Wen Ning’s robe. “...I will share with you.”

“I’m sharing with Wen Ning,” Wei Wuxian said, his grip tightening. The last time they’d shared a room with Lan Zhan flashed past his mind’s eye. No good would come from the two of them sharing a room like that again.

Wei Wuxian was way too weak for it.

“The two of you,” Lan Zhan stated, and while his tone was level, the look in his eyes could’ve killed.

“We’d be pleased to have you,” Wen Ning said, like a traitor, before Wei Wuxian had the time to collect his jaw from the floor.

So, in the end, Wei Wuxian slept in the same room with both Lan Zhan and Wen Ning. They took their turns bathing behind the privacy screen in silence, each of them quieter than the other. The mood in the room was like that in the front-line battle.

Lan Zhan was giving off an aura of ire like he’d been insulted gravely, even though it was his idea to share. Wen Ning seemed like he might faint at any moment. Wei Wuxian himself was ignoring the both of them, doing the most to get under the sheets as quickly as possible.

When the room fell into darkness, Wei Wuxian could feel that all of them were still awake for a long while after that.

-

The border village didn’t look too good, once they got there. Some houses were down, their walls broken, many men of the village injured. Apparently, the yao appeared at twilight to wreak havoc, before disappearing again once it had terrorized the people enough. It was too fast for anyone to be able to tell much anything about it.

It had fur and gleaming red eyes. That was about it.

They set off to find it immediately once the sun was getting low enough. The area was not too difficult to travel, but there were still a lot of thick forest and steep hills around them. Good places for a hostile yao to hide and attack.

They decided to pair up and separate to cover more ground. They all had signal fireworks with them after all, and also Wei Wuxian got the distinct impression that the others were trying to escape Lan Zhan, who had been in a particularly tetchy mood for the entire hunt.

Wei Wuxian had no time to grab Wen Ning by the sleeve before the guy had already paled again and scrambled after two of the others. This act of betrayal left Wei Wuxian completely alone with Lan Zhan, which was…

Just fine. It was all just fine. Wei Wuxian wasn’t afraid of together time with Lan Zhan. It was the same as when they spent time in the library together. Lan Zhan’s irritation levels with him had clearly somehow climbed up to the heights they’d been for most of their acquaintance, so there was no chance Wei Wuxian would let it slip, and, and –

He cleared his throat. “What do you think it is? The yao, I mean.”

Lan Zhan was silent for a moment. They moved very quietly, pace slow, breaths measured. The forest around them was bathed in the golden light of a setting sun.

“I cannot be certain,” came Lan Zhan’s reply.

“Well, the description was quite vague,” Wei Wuxian mused. “There are way too many yao with fur and red eyes.”

“Mn,” came Lan Zhan’s short reply again. He felt standoffish, still.

For a man who most often showed very little emotion, Lan Zhan had been terribly moody lately. First it had been the absolute, cold indifference to him. Then, the tentative acknowledgment, the warming up. And now they were back to the thing where Lan Zhan hated him.

What was it that could make someone so stoic be so inconsistent?

He pushed on, despite the cold shoulder. “I hope it’s something interesting at least, or I will be very bored.”

“I am familiar with how fickle Wei Ying’s interest is,” Lan Zhan said coolly.

Wei Wuxian turned to him, eyebrows furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Lan Zhan’s gaze stayed pointed forwards, his head held high and aura as untouchable as always. Something knotted in Wei Wuxian’s chest. How exactly was this fair? Hadn’t Lan Zhan himself asked Wei Wuxian to join? Even if it was only just to help.

Maybe the worst part about Lan Zhan being mad at him like this, for no reason, was that this stroke of irritation manifested in him acting like Wei Wuxian didn’t exist. No reply to his question, no glance his way.

Suddenly, Wei Wuxian realized that this was how it would go for the entire night, Lan Zhan being angry and Wei Wuxian wanting to get nothing but his attention but knowing he should not, and then also feeling guilty about it.

“What, not going to say anything?” Wei Wuxian asked, trying his best to keep the tone light, keep himself from showing how much he cared about this.

Lan Zhan stayed quiet. Of course he wouldn’t say anything. If there ever was someone who knew how to completely ignore Wei Wuxian, it was Hanguang-jun.

“Fine then.” Wei Wuxian turned around to the direction they came from. “I’m going to go find Wen Ning.”

“No,” Lan Zhan snapped, strong fingers wrapping around his wrist and giving him a jerky stop.

Wei Wuxian turned to him, ready to finally snap back, but when he turned, Lan Zhan’s arm was already sliding around his waist, his eyes holding rage Wei Wuxian had not seen before. He was being pulled close and –

He was being kissed with force. Lips against his, crashing ungracefully, heatedly. Lan Zhan’s strong hands crushing him against his body, unyielding. Instantly, Wei Wuxian’s knees felt weak. He was so weak for this. His arms wrapped around Lan Zhan with no conscious thought, his body immediately ready to take what would be dished out.

Lan Zhan bent him back with the pressure of the kiss. Weeks of not having touched each other creating a sense of desperation, a need for things to escalate. What had been the point of not doing this? Why had he been so insistent on stopping it?

His head felt dizzy. Lan Zhan wasn’t willing to give him a breath, just kissing him like he’d been suffocating and Wei Wuxian was air. He was being devoured. Wei Wuxian wanted to drown in that feeling.

“Lan Zhan,” he gasped the moment their mouth separated, slick and red. Lan Zhan’s eyes looked bloodshot. “Fuck me?”

And then Wei Wuxian was being pushed to the ground. He let out an undignified yelp – though, dignity? Nothing he’d known for a while now. Nothing he wasn’t willing to give up to keep Lan Zhan looking at him like that.

Hanguang-jun was initiating, wasn’t he? It wasn’t Wei Wuxian this time, and the thought made his heart throb painfully, so giddy he could hardly think, and then he had no time for useless thoughts because Lan Zhan was flipping him around onto his stomach, and the movement made butterflies flutter inside him.

“Are you going to do me like this?” he asked as Lan Zhan tugged at his robes, shoving the fabric aside with practiced movements, so confident and uncaring. “Against the ground again? Mount me like a – hng!”

His face was burning, Lan Zhan’s long fingers shoved into his mouth, pushing inside as Wei Wuxian sucked on them like he was made for it. Lan Zhan didn’t waste time; the second he had access, Wei Wuxian’s cheeks were spread open, Lan Zhan’s heated gaze on him, looking at where he was the most sensitive. Untouched, for weeks.

Wei Wuxian made an involuntary noise when the fingers left his mouth. They were soon prodding at his hole, circling the rim and making it wet with spit. Every touch made heat flare in his lower stomach, his cock already dripping. How had he become this easy for it?

Then, unceremoniously, Lan Zhan put a finger inside. Low, like talking to himself, Hanguang-jun said: “Still tight.”

Wei Wuxian let out an indignant sound, suddenly embarrassed. What was that supposed to mean? Obviously he was tight, they hadn’t done it in ages, and it wasn’t like Wei Wuxian was doing this with other people! Besides, with a cock like Lan Zhan’s, there was not a hole that wouldn’t be tight for him!

He didn’t say this, and instead only pushed back onto that finger. Lan Zhan’s hold on his ass tightened, and another finger was shoved in. But this time it seemed Lan Zhan was impatient because before Wei Wuxian had the time to react, the fingers were gone and the blunt head of Lan Zhan’s cock was forced into his still too tight hole.

He keened, uncaring of the fact that they were outside, that this was a place where anyone could come across them. See Lan Zhan fucking into him like a beast from behind, pressing his upper body down and hips up into a sinuous arc. Lan Zhan was draped over his back, so close that even his tiniest movements felt like too much.

Without giving him the time to get used to the sensation, Lan Zhan pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in until his hips met Wei Wuxian’s ass. Lan Zhan was so strong that Wei Wuxian thought, in his delirious little head, that being a cultivator was the only thing that saved him from being fucked to death.

“Lan Zhan, too much,” he whined. His ass was probably already red from the way Lan Zhan’s skin slapped against him. “Too much, you’re entirely too much, Er-gege! Spare me, ah, we’ve only just started…”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan said, probably to the last part. They’d only just started. Wei Wuxian was going to die from the way his arousal heightened at that, at Lan Zhan’s cold dismissal of his begging.

He could barely talk, anyway, just moaning hoarse little ‘ah, ah, ah’s in rhythm with Lan Zhan’s thrusts, wondering how he had survived without this torment for so long, how he had not given in before. What were consequences in the face of instant gratification?

The thrusts made his entire body shake, his knees scrape against the ground, and when Lan Zhan’s teeth sunk into his shoulder and hands slapped away Wei Wuxian’s trying to reach the wet cock hanging unattended between his legs, painfully hard, he knew he was done for.

Come on my cock or don’t come at all, the act seemed to say. Wei Wuxian groaned miserably. His hips were unable to move in time with the impossibly forceful drag of Lan Zhan’s cock, his legs too shaky. Lan Zhan was focused on treating him like a whore, tweaking his nipples red and sore and keeping him in place with his whole body, denying him the opportunity to affect the pace.

He was glowing under the attention, growing more and more overwhelmed with it. The feeling of Lan Zhan inside of him, over him, so close and so ruthless with his touches, keeping Wei Wuxian as the center of his world for a while.

Wei Wuxian wanted to tease. He wanted to ask if Lan Zhan had wanted to do this last night but could not, because of Wen Ning. He wanted to ask if Lan Zhan had been missing the feeling of him around his cock, if in the last weeks he had touched himself to the thoughts of Wei Wuxian. If his fist had felt as good as Wei Wuxian’s wet hole did.

He didn’t think so – his own fingers were not comparable to the weight of Lan Zhan’s cock inside him. The unpredictable nature of it, the way Lan Zhan didn’t spare him any caution, it was all something he could not get on his own.

Often their fucking lasted for a long time. Lan Zhan’s endurance was that of legends, and whether Wei Wuxian came in the middle of it or not was no reason to stop. This time, though, it was barely at the hour mark when Lan Zhan’s thrusts turned into grinding, his cock finding a way to go even deeper than before, and Wei Wuxian’s numb lower half was dragged tightly against Lan Zhan’s hips as the man finished inside him.

The feeling of Lan Zhan coming sent him over the edge too, shaking and crying out, squeezing around Lan Zhan’s still-hard cock as he ruined the insides of his robes.

He was left gasping, only half-sane, wanting to ride the high of the orgasm to the point of passing out. The thought of Lan Zhan just continuing after a few seconds was an enticing thought, but his dick could only give one weak little twitch and he abandoned the idea.

His sanity was starting to slowly return to him as well. The reality of the situation. The fact that he had, once again, so easily spread his legs at the first sign of intent from Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan pulled out and moved off of him, gently righting his robes properly.

“Wei Ying,” the man said, voice quieter and lacking the earlier fury. Almost subdued. “How do you feel?”

He rolled to his side, turning to pout at Lan Zhan. “You ask this after taking my virginal, nubile body so meanly?”

Lan Zhan exhaled sharply through his nose, almost a sigh, and cast his eyes. Clearly displeased with the teasing. Ah, and perhaps too ashamed to look at Wei Wuxian’s naked body now that the fire of the moment was dying out.

Wei Wuxian decided to be merciful and tied his robes, hiding the evidence of yet one more stain on their reputations. Some part of Wei Wuxian was still delighted, giddy, over the fact that Lan Zhan had touched him first. That Lan Zhan had been the one to cross that line and showed him that perhaps he had not been the only one so needy.

“I’m fine, Lan Zhan,” he said softly. “Not my first time being pushed around like this in the woods.”

Lan Zhan’s expression tightened further, completely incomprehensible once again, so Wei Wuxian continued: “What, have you already forgotten? This wasn’t the first time you fucked me outside.”

There was a twitch at the crass language, but Lan Zhan’s overall mood seemed to shift to the better as Wei Wuxian reminded him of the cold spring.

“Have you…” Lan Zhan started, the words almost sudden.

Wei Wuxian blinked. “What?”

For a while, Lan Zhan seemed to consider his words. But in the end, the man only said: “Nothing.”

Well. When Hanguang-jun did not want to say whatever it was that he was about to, there was no amount of wheedling Wei Wuxian could do to make him say it. So instead of trying in vain, Wei Wuxian stood up. His legs felt weak, and even though he quickly attempted to hide this, it did not escape Lan Zhan’s notice.

The man took him by the elbow like an attentive husband would his sickly wife. Ah, if only. Wei Wuxian cleared his throat.

“I can stand just fine,” Wei Wuxian said, feeling Lan Zhan’s cum trickle down his inner thigh. It should’ve been disgusting. Instead, he felt claimed. “We should get a move on, shouldn’t we? It’s so dark already.”

Thoughts back on the night-hunt, Wei Wuxian realized just how badly they had timed their little tryst. What if the yao had shown up when they were still only focusing on getting off? The thought didn’t bear thinking.

“Mn,” agreed Lan Zhan, and if the way he studied their surrounding told him anything, he’d just thought of the same thing.

So with the most uncomfortable, sticky, light-headed feeling, Wei Wuxian started walking like he had not just been fucked to the brink of death in the bushes again. Lan Zhan stayed next to him close enough for him to feel the heat coming off of his body, and everything was just fine.

-

It turned out that the yao was a demonic hare big enough that its red-eyed face would’ve been at just the right height to chomp off Wei Wuxian’s neck, had it been alive when they finally saw it.

When Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan had been otherwise occupied, Wen Ning and the rest had stumbled right into the yao and spent the evening fighting with it, and after finally killing it, returned to the village to rest. That’s where Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan found them hours later, after searching through the entire forest with nothing to fight; at the inn, drinking tea and tending to their injuries.

The hare’s carcass was outside, next to the door. The passing villagers nodded at them very respectfully and mostly glared at the dead rabbit.

“Why didn’t you use the signal firework?” Wei Wuxian whined, cross for not having gotten to join the fight.

One of the Lans gave him a look. “What do you mean? Wen Ning went to look for you since you could not have gotten far. When he came back he said you were busy.”

In the corner, Wen Ning was not meeting their eyes. His face was kind of red. Wei Wuxian, for his part, went through stages of mortification. Realization. Horror. Embarrassment. A little more horror. Fear – real fear, a mind-numbing terror. Then another realization. Wen Ning had not told on them.

Wei Wuxian let out a sharp burst of laughter. “H-haha, ha, right! We were fighting a, um, a fierce corpse. But it was very easily dealt with, you should’ve used the firework in any case. But it’s all forgiven now, right? Right, Lan Zhan?”

He jabbed at Lan Zhan’s rock-hard chest with his elbow and only got silence for his effort. For some reason, Lan Zhan was looking at Wen Ning, and his expression was almost smug. Which was insane, and probably part of some kind of a terrible fever dream he was currently having.

“Mn,” said Lan Zhan finally.

“Great! Since that’s settled, let’s drink! Wen Ning, come help me order some wine,” Wei Wuxian said, and at the sudden sharp glare Lan Zhan sent his way, continued: “Don’t look at me like that, Lan Zhan, this is not the Cloud Recesses.”

Lan Zhan did not reply, and only followed them with his eyes as Wei Wuxian and Wen Ning moved to a silent corner that was decidedly empty of any innkeepers to ask for wine. Wen Ning didn’t still meet his eyes, and Wei Wuxian might’ve died just from the overload of awkwardness.

“I –”

“Wen –“

Wei Wuxian snapped his mouth shut, the same time as Wen Ning did. He cleared his throat before quietly saying: “Ah, Wen Ning, whatever you saw –“

“I saw nothing,” Wen Ning said, face the shade of Wei Wuxian’s under robe. “I-I mean, it did not… I only saw a glance, and then did not look.”

Wei Wuxian was going to die from his face overheating. He might have been a bit shameless, but there was a difference between saying silly things and having one of your friends see you getting taken from behind during a night-hunt!

But he pushed the feeling aside to focus on the more important thing. “You, ah, didn’t tell anyone, right?”

Wen Ning’s eyes widened. “No, no, of course not! I wouldn’t!”

Relief flooded in Wei Wuxian. Wen Ning was a good person, he wouldn’t lie about this. Lan Zhan’s reputation was fine.

Only, there was a strange look in Wen Ning’s eyes, as he frowned and glanced at where Lan Zhan was still staring at them. “It’s only that, um. Was it...uh. I-I mean to ask, since you’ve been insistent lately on avoiding Second Master Lan, I wondered if, if…”

Wei Wuxian squinted, not getting it. He had certainly been a little avoidant with Lan Zhan, sure, but how did that – ah. His blush deepened, suddenly almost affronted for Lan Zhan.

“He wouldn’t – he wouldn’t, if I didn’t want to,” Wei Wuxian stuttered, and gods, was this the most embarrassing conversation he’d ever had? Wen Ning looked so embarrassed as well. “Lan Zhan is not like that! He’s really very upstanding person, he’s everything people say that he is and even better, okay? So I don’t want him to get in trouble for something like this.”

The look in Wen Ning’s eyes changed, somehow, as he listened to Wei Wuxian talk. He didn’t know what the look meant. It was way too knowing, suddenly. Like Wen Ning was seeing through him to some truth that Wei Wuxian himself wasn’t even aware of.

Wen Ning smiled at him, then. Gently, as he was wont to. “I understand. This really does explain some things.”

“What things?” Wei Wuxian asked, but then the innkeeper appeared out of nowhere to ask if they were in the need of something, and Wen Ning stuttered out an order for wine, and then they were ushered back to the table where anyone could hear them, so the conversation ended there.

Wei Wuxian sat next to Lan Zhan, sending him a smile that he hoped would communicate something like ‘ don’t worry, I’ve got it handled’, but Lan Zhan only looked back at him with a neutral expression.

When the wine was served, Wei Wuxian immediately downed his cup and ordered more. It had been a day. A week. Months, actually. Maybe more – had something shifted in his life when he stumbled into Lan Zhan the first time? It felt like it.

The Lans were talking about the village, about the destruction that little bunny had caused. A lot of injured men. Their night-hunt party was leaving at sunrise, though. Skipping too many of Lan Qiren’s classes meant automatic failure, even if one was a Lan disciple.

Wei Wuxian was hesitant, though. He’d be fine with the studies whether he was away for a long or not, and these people needed a bit of help with the rebuilding.

“I will stay,” Lan Zhan said, breaking that thought, and Wei Wuxian’s attention jumped on him from the other Lans.

Ah. Lan Zhan had come to the same conclusion, hadn’t he? Of course he would. Something warm flared in Wei Wuxian’s chest as he looked at Lan Zhan’s serious face. For someone who could’ve been very arrogant for his skills and looks, Lan Zhan really wasn’t that type of person at all.

“I was thinking the same,” he said. “Help them get started at least! A day or two’s delay is nothing.”

Lan Zhan’s pale eyes turned to him, and the look softened somehow. “Mn.”

“I will inform the sect leader,” one of the Lans said, and Lan Zhan nodded at him very politely.

The conversation turned to something else then, and Lan Zhan kept sipping his tea, and Wei Wuxian kept looking at Lan Zhan. The line of his elegant nose, chin, his long lashes and dark brows. It occurred to him, then, to really think about it.

He thought about his own determination in wanting to become Lan Zhan’s friend, about wanting his attention. He thought about the way he had been so ready to forget rationality once again just hours before, if only Lan Zhan just kept touching him like that. He thought about that and the way Lan Zhan was so good, so honorable, so many things Wei Wuxian could respect.

He thought about Lan Zhan, and he thought about marriage. A physical reaction within him, the acceleration of his heartbeat at the thought, the fluttering inside him. Bowing thrice in red. Lan Zhan looking at him willingly. Looking at him in adoration.

The way Wei Wuxian looked at him.

Oh.

Oh.

Lan Zhan’s eyes flitted to him, and he was trapped under that gaze. Unable to breathe. He wished it didn’t show outside, the way his world had just shifted under his feet.

Someone’s leg knocked his under the table, and the spell was broken. Wei Wuxian turned back to his cup. Talked, and laughed, and asked Wen Ning about the fight with the hare, and made up quite a creative account of the fierce corpse they had supposedly fought. No one questioned it. They thought Lan Zhan stood by these words, and Lan Zhan did not lie.

Later, when it was time to turn in, Wen Ning only smiled at him before leaving to share a room with the others. Wei Wuxian was left with Lan Zhan, whose mood had clearly improved, and who, after the door closed behind them, immediately pushed Wei Wuxian towards one of the beds, mouth on his neck and hands on his body.

And Wei Wuxian was a very weak man, as previously stated. Very, very weak man.

-

They stayed in the village for three days. From the mornings to late in the evening, they would go around helping with any given thing, though their skills were mostly used in heavy lifting. Though the women around here did appreciate beauty as well, judging from the way the both of them got casual flirting and teasing smiles thrown their way.

It was too bad that Lan Zhan was, well, himself, and that Wei Wuxian had just realized something very important about himself, and was only still digesting it. The girls didn’t get much out of them.

Come night, Lan Zhan would erase all thoughts from his head by pushing the limits of human endurance. Wei Wuxian could not understand how he was not tired during the day. Wei Wuxian at least got to sleep in afterward, but Lan Zhan would still wake up at five am.

They worked side by side, and pretend like they were just two friends, unfamiliar with the taste of each other’s lips. Wei Wuxian teased Lan Zhan as usual, because who would tattle here, in the middle of nowhere? And Lan Zhan...humored him. Let him. Only got mad a little, when it got too inappropriate.

And Wei Wuxian’s heart was doing strange things, but he now understood those strange things, and could not blame his body for it.

He expected it to stop at the Cloud Recesses. After all, they were not friends. Lan Zhan had shown his interest in continued, ah, understanding between them, but it was a different thing for it to happen somewhere with a lot of possible, credible witnesses. And Jiang Cheng.

All the same pitfalls were there as before, and now that Wei Wuxian realized he had so much more to lose than he realized, he didn’t know what else to do but count on that. The fact that the familiar setting would knock Lan Zhan out of whatever momentary insanity had hit him, and not touch Wei Wuxian again. It would be better that way.

When they returned, it at first seemed like it, and Wei Wuxian’s mind rejoiced and his heart wept. There was no copying in the library to return to, no places for the two of them to be alone. No opportunities.

In the border village, Wei Wuxian had committed each touch to his memory. Every kiss Lan Zhan’s lips had placed against his own, every stroke of his hand against his skin, every gasped breath and every rough thrust. He'd thought, each time he’d been close, about spilling it out to Lan Zhan. Taking a risk and screwing the consequences.

But then he would come, and each memory of Lan Zhan’s rejection flashed past his mind, and he felt like an idiot.

He was ready to go the rest of his life like this. Forcing himself to be content with what he’d gotten. And Lan Zhan seemed fine as well. They greeted each other in passing every time they happened to meet outside of class. Wei Wuxian couldn’t help the smiles and looks he sent his way, and Lan Zhan didn’t seem like they overly bothered him. He didn’t look angry anymore. He mostly looked unreadable.

Sometimes, Wei Wuxian thought that Lan Zhan’s eyes flashed dark when he looked at him. Outside, when Wei Wuxian laughed very loudly. When he was talking to a friend, and put an arm around their shoulder. When he was thinking something very hard in class and touched the handle of his brush to his lips. He would feel the burning gaze. Meet it. Do absolutely nothing about it.

It took them five days of that attempted normalcy to finally crumble, and take down any hope of going back while they were at it.

Jiang Cheng ambushed him outside the Lanshi at the end of the class, pulling him aside. Everyone else had already managed to disappear, including Lan Qiren, so perhaps Jiang Cheng didn’t feel too cautious about having the conversation there.

“I know who it is,” Jiang Cheng said, sounding accusatory.

Wei Wuxian frowned. “Who?”

“The person you...were. With.” Jiang Cheng checked over his shoulder, before leaning in, jabbing at his chest with his forefinger. “It’s Wen Ning.”

“What,” Wei Wuxian asked flatly.

“I suspected it before, but it’s obvious now,” Jiang Cheng hissed. “You asked for Lan Xichen to include him in the night-hunt! He’s been there each time you’ve come home all – indecent-looking!”

“What,” Wei Wuxian repeated, because the whole thing seemed unreal to him.

“Don’t pretend, Wei Wuxian.” Jiang Cheng looked genuinely angry, once again. “You told me you stopped, and then came back with bruises on your neck. Am I supposed to believe anything you say anymore?”

“It’s not like you would believe me either way,” Wei Wuxian said, because it was true. Jiang Cheng was so insistent on it that he was clearly not willing to listen to Wei Wuxian’s side of it.

What was he going to say, anyway? That he’d been sleeping with Second Master Lan, and he was desperate to do it again, and that he was utterly, completely, ridiculously in love with the guy, so maybe that wasn’t such a good idea in the first place?

“Just tell me if it’s Wen Ning.”

Why was it important? Suddenly, Wei Wuxian was exhausted. With everything. “Sure, Jiang Cheng, it was Wen Ning.”

Jiang Cheng blinked. “...It was?”

“Yes, sure, whatever.”

“Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng started, but Wei Wuxian was already going at it.

“Obviously it was Wen Ning.” He nodded very seriously. “I can’t help but give it up for anyone who asks, right, Jiang Cheng?”

“Shut up, that’s not what I –”

“And there were multiple others, of course,” he said, starting to count with his fingers, like listing his favorite foods. “That one guy in Caiyi town. Two Nie disciples whose names I don’t remember. Oh, Nie Huaisang, of course! You’ve seen me spend time with him, that should be an obvious one. There’s the tall guy from the Yao sect. Ah, and obviously, Lan Zhan.”

The more nonsense he spouted, the redder Jiang Cheng’s face turned, like he was very close to just giving Wei Wuxian a hearty smack to the face. But at the last name, his eyes widened, and for a second Wei Wuxian thought it was because he’d said Lan Zhan’s name too convincingly.

Oh, if only he’d been so lucky.

“Wei Ying,” came a voice behind him. A deep, beautiful voice that held an underlying fury he was intimately familiar with.

This was not his day. When he turned, Lan Zhan’s cold glare could’ve cut glass.

“A-ah,” Wei Wuxian started, though he had no idea what to say.

“Copy the sect rules three times and section twelve ten times,” Lan Zhan cut in, not giving him the chance to explain. “Punishment for promiscuity.”

“Lan Zhan, I wasn’t –“

“We will go to the library pavilion.”

He did not stay to listen to the excuses, and before dashing after the man, Wei Wuxian sent a final, murderous look towards Jiang Cheng, whose expression of shock had not disappeared even a little.

-

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian tried, once they were in the privacy of the library. Lan Zhan hadn’t looked at him once on their way there, and now that they were here, the man had only stopped in the middle of the room, ramrod straight back to him, silent.

“It was careless,” Lan Zhan said, voice so very controlled, “to say such things where people might hear.”

It was true. Very stupid – Wei Wuxian definitely blamed Jiang Cheng. Despite this, he couldn’t help but defend himself.

“Who would believe all that nonsense?” Wei Wuxian took a step closer. “I was just joking!”

“Were you?” The question came out flat, without inflection.

And, ah, if it had been anyone else but Lan Zhan, the words would have bounced easily off of him. But it was the man he’d been sleeping with for months, the one who he had fallen in love with, and this was still something Lan Zhan believed of him.

“Don’t I always say frivolous things?” He watched as Lan Zhan’s hand twitched by the side of his hip. “Aren’t I always being shameless and impudent and all those things you call me? It was a joke, Lan Zhan.”

“Convenient timing, for it to be in jest.”

Wei Wuxian scoffed, indignation growing. “Very bold of you to be so high and mighty now, Lan Zhan. Shouldn’t we both start copying the rules again, then? I recall several accounts of fornication after finishing the last punishment.”

Lan Zhan shook his head, very shortly, and did not answer. It only fed the anger growing in Wei Wuxian too. This was unfair. This was all too unfair. Lan Zhan was disgusted by him, now, after thinking that Wei Wuxian was like that. So much so that he wasn’t even looking at him.

Wei Wuxian grit his teeth. “Or is it just that Second Master Lan had to find an excuse to get me copying here again? Of course, it’s a quiet place to use the common goods!”

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan hissed at that, finally turning to him, eyes red-rimmed and so, so angry. Not in the exciting way, where the anger was a spark and Wei Wuxian was tinder. This fury had a quality that made Wei Wuxian’s stomach drop, his chest ache.

Still, he found himself walking to Lan Zhan again, pushing himself against him, fondling the white fabric of his neckline. Lan Zhan was stiff as a statue, unmoving under his hands. Only followed him with his eyes.

Wei Wuxian dug his finger under the collar, pulling. Revealed a pretty patch of white skin. “You’ve got me here all alone again, Er-gege. No need to pretend there’s an honest reason for it.”

Lan Zhan’s breath came out sharp as Wei Wuxian placed a kiss against the junction of his neck. His hands caught Wei Wuxian’s when they slid down, stopping him from touching where Lan Zhan was getting harder.

“Are you angry again, Lan Zhan?” he asked, not trying to hide the bitterness in his voice. “That’s what you need to be to fuck me, right?”

Another sharp breath, but Wei Wuxian didn’t give him the chance to reply. He kissed Lan Zhan harshly, not caring about their teeth clicking or the way his hands were shivering. After a second of uncertainty, stillness, Lan Zhan’s chest rumbled in a growl and Wei Wuxian was again pushed down, onto the floor.

This isn’t how this is supposed to go, Wei Wuxian thought as he scrambled to pull his robes open and let Lan Zhan push his thighs apart. They weren’t supposed to be really angry. Resentful. It wasn’t supposed to go like this, with the way Lan Zhan’s teeth were already pulling at his lips, drawing blood, and his cock was already poking at the place where he had not been prepared.

Lan Zhan’s breath was shaky, and Wei Wuxian's stomach was twisting, and then the worst possible thing happened –

“What –?” came a voice from the door, shocked to the point of screech.

The Lan cultivator – their senior, an older man, was struck speechless at the scene he was witnessing. The esteemed Hanguang-jun, the precious Jade of the Lan, peerless in his discipline, was on the floor of their library pavilion, between Yunmeng Jiang’s head disciple’s spread legs.

Lan Zhan, who would’ve normally snapped ‘do not look!’ at whoever was so unfortunate to witness this, was evidently so shaken that he wasn’t moving at all. Wei Wuxian, in his own shock, could not think about anything but the fact that Lan Zhan’s robes were covering him well enough so that the cultivator did not see his private parts.

This did nothing to save the situation, but it was. Something.

The man’s face went from red to white to purple and back to red in a few seconds, and then the indignation set in. “Cease at once! Cover yourselves!”

With that, the man turned around, embarrassed and steaming with anger. With only a little lag, Lan Zhan pushed off of him, and like his soul had escaped his body, mechanically started tidying himself up. Wei Wuxian tied his own robes, something ringing in his ears.

Once they were decent, the Lan turned to glower at them once again. “I will go fetch your uncle. Sit on the other sides of the room. Do not even think about leaving.”

Lan Zhan nodded, expressionless. Moved to the other side of the room and sat down, back straight, hands in his lap.

Wei Wuxian stayed where he was.

The other Lan left, the door shutting behind him with a click.

Lan Zhan still said nothing, his whole being clear of all emotion. Stiff and apathetic. His face lax and eyes so far away Wei Wuxian’s wildly beating heart was going to burst from pain.

“Lan Zhan, we can talk our way out of it,” he said, rushed, desperate to get Lan Zhan to stop being like that. “You weren’t yet inside so it doesn’t count, we can lie, we can say it was the first time and that I tricked you, there’s no need to –“

“Lie,” Lan Zhan repeated tonelessly.

“I – I know it’s not something you do, but I can do it and you just need to sit in silence or nod at most, so – “

Lan Zhan’s eyes found him, then. Still red-rimmed. Not angry anymore, just – hopeless. Looking at Wei Wuxian like he’d torn his chest open.

“Have I not broken enough rules?” he asked. “Have I not already gone against everything our sect stands for?”

“You don’t – Lan Zhan, this could ruin you --”

“Has it already not?” Lan Zhan asked, and if it had felt like Wei Wuxian hadn’t been bleeding out before, now it truly felt like it. He tasted the iron on his lips, where Lan Zhan had bitten him.

“No, it’s – don’t say that, we can still fix this,” Wei Wuxian insisted. Because they had to. It was about Lan Zhan. His future. “Don’t you want to get married? Don’t you want someone?”

“Who?” Lan Zhan looked at him like he was insane, like Wei Wuxian had just sprouted another head. His voice sounded weak, as he continued: “Who else? Who else would I want?”

Wei Wuxian’s head was empty. He didn’t know – “What do you mean?”

Lan Zhan looked at him with his golden eyes, so much suffering showing through. So much emotion in that gaze, and Wei Wuxian couldn’t comprehend it, because the option of what it meant could not surely be – this wasn’t like – they weren’t –

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, like it explained everything, and then there was a rising panic inside Wei Wuxian.

“No, wait, Lan Zhan – what do you mean? What –“

To their left, the door was opened with a slam, and if Lan Zhan’s anger was something that inspired astonishment, Lan Qiren’s was the thing of nightmares.

“You!” he pointed a finger at Wei Wuxian. “How dare you drag my nephew into depravity with you?”

Wei Wuxian wasn’t looking at him. He was too busy staring at Lan Zhan and trying to find his footing after the world had once again shifted underneath him. He felt pieces clicking in place in rapid speed that made him feel both dizzy and like he might vomit or laugh or both.

His heart was going to jump out of his chest. He couldn’t stop staring at Lan Zhan, at the – the heartbroken look on his face. That’s what it was, wasn’t it? Wei Wuxian had broken his heart, perhaps once, perhaps over and over again.

Had it been from the first time, when he’d not given him a chance to marry him and right their wrong? Or later, when he’d not corrected the obvious misunderstanding about himself being so free with his affections? Had it been when he’d tried to protect Lan Zhan’s reputation by not making a move again?

It was both a thing that did not make sense at all and the only thing that did.

He knew, then, with certainty, what he had to do.

“That’s right! I will take responsibility!” he shouted, to the utter astonishment of the two Lans in the room. Both turned to stare at him with varying levels of disbelief and outrage.

”…”

”…”

When the staring only continued, Wei Wuxian added vehemently, giving Lan Zhan a look he wished to convey his sincerity: ”I’ll – I’ll marry Lan Zhan!”

This was enough to shake Lan Zhan out of it. The man sent him a glare, chin up. ”No.”

”Wha – Lan Zhan! What do you mean, ’no’?” Wei Wuxian’s heart was throbbing painfully in fear –what if I’m wrong? –but he could not stop now. “You want me to marry someone else?”

Lan Zhan’s glare only intensified, but he, crucially, did not reply. Wei Wuxian had interpreted correctly, for once. His whole body was shaking with the thought. He must’ve looked manic.

”Isn’t it only proper? We broke the rules, we should marry about it!” he stated.

Now it was Lan Zhan who looked a little sick, as he kept glowering at Wei Wuxian. ”Is everything a joke to you?”

”It’s not a joke!” Wei Wuxian insisted. “I really do want to marry you!”

”You do not.”

”Obviously I do, why would I insist on it if I didn’t?” He argued, a note of desperation in his voice.

Lan Zhan did not seem convinced. It was the work of months of poor communication and misunderstandings, and Wei Wuxian could not blame him for the doubt. He turned his face away from Wei Wuxian, like looking at him any more might start hurting him. ”Wei Ying often does incomprehensible things.”

”So you’re saying you don’t want to marry me, then? Am I good only for bedding, Lan Zhan, is that it?”

”Wei Ying.”

”Enough!” Lan Qiren snapped, reminding the two of them of his existence. The man looked absolutely furious. ”What is this – this nonsense?”

Wei Wuxian turned to him. He’d only need to convince one Lan today, after all! He could work on Lan Zhan later, if it came to it. ”Old ma – Teacher Lan! Your nephew did dishonorable things to me and is now refusing to take responsibility!”

“Wei Ying! What are you doing?” Lan Zhan hissed, but Wei Wuxian only gave him a stubborn look.

“I’m trying to marry you! Isn’t that obvious?”

The disbelief in Lan Zhan’s voice was grating his soul. “Why?”

“Why do people want to marry each other, Lan Zhan?” he asked, because wasn’t it obvious now? How much more blatant did he have to make it?

But Lan Zhan only looked at him with that same glare that only barely covered the heartbroken look.

“You are making fun of me.”

Wei Wuxian threw his hands up in frustration. “Why do you always think that? I may have once or twice done that, but would I joke about such a thing? No, don’t answer that! Lan Zhan, I really do want to marry you!”

“You will not!” Lan Qiren cut in, and wow, Wei Wuxian was tired of being ganged up on like this.

Lan Zhan loved him, so there was really no reason to not marry, and wasn’t Lan Qiren supposed to be all about the rules? Taking responsibility was the only way to save face in this scandal. The Lans were huge gossips under all that pretend propriety, so Wei Wuxian was sure the entire mountain was already in the know.

He squinted at Lan Qiren, and pointed to the side of the room. “Your nephew had me over that desk, how can you say this?”

Lan Qiren coughed, face redder than the senior Lan who’d caught them, but instead of addressing Wei Wuxian, he turned to his nephew. “Wangji! Explain yourself!”

“…” Lan Zhan was truly too thin-faced to say anything for his defense.

What was there to defend anymore, in any case? Wei Wuxian fed the fire. “And over there in the doorway as well!”

If looks could have killed. Lan Qiren spat: “You! Silence, you– you–!”

But Wei Wuxian had already started, and since he was making his case now, he did not feel the need to hold back.“And against that wall, and that wall, and on the floor over there, and during the night-hunt last week, and the one before it, and months ago in the cold spring – we’ve done it over two hundred times!”

This declaration was met with ringing silence, the old man and his nephew both infuriated to the point of complete muteness. This kind of shameless revelation was something so out of place in a virtue-focused sect such as that of Gusu Lan, and neither of the Lans could find anything to say to it.

Lan Qiren looked a little like he might die. Lan Zhan, under his humiliation, stared at Wei Wuxian in disbelief, like he still could not understand his motives. Like he expected this to be another time where Wei Wuxian was just trying to goad some reaction out of him.

And then the man just shook his head and cast his eyes.

Suddenly, Wei Wuxian was done with it. Even after all this, Lan Zhan was not going to look at him?

“Lan Zhan,” he said, voice a lot quieter than just a moment before. Chin up, like that could mask the genuine uncertainty. “You took my first kiss and stole my virtue. You need to take responsibility.”

Like a crack in the ice, Lan Zhan’s expression twitched. His eyes zeroed back in on him. Like he couldn’t believe what he’d heard.

“I knew you were going to be all honorable the first time and marry me even though you didn’t want to, so I said all that nonsense about it being fine between friends,” he stated. “I’ve changed my mind now. You need to marry me.”

Lan Zhan stared. Opened his mouth, then closed it. Finally,

“Your first time?”

Wei Wuxian nodded very seriously. “I was chaste before you, and look at us now!”

“There were others…you said…” There was something tentative in Lan Zhan’s eyes. “...You lied?”

“I never lied!” Wei Wuxian pouted. “You just always jumped to your own conclusions, and it wasn’t like I knew that you cared.”

“I did,” Lan Zhan said, so suddenly it seemed to surprise even himself. “I do.”

Wei Wuxian swallowed, his face heating. Ah, this was the worst. His heart was beating way too fast again. Lan Zhan was going to kill him, saying things like that. He was feeling way too happy about this disgraceful turn of events.

“There were never any others,” he stated, a little embarrassed. “Lan Zhan’s been my only one.”

Lan Zhan sounded a little gutted when he breathed: “Wei Ying.”

“Lan Zhan,” he replied.

And then they remembered, once again, that they weren’t alone in the room. Lan Qiren was staring into the middle-distance, probably trying to figure out the exact moment his life had taken such a turn that would lead into a terrible situation like this.

If there ever was a person he would’ve liked less to join his family, it was Wei Wuxian. And it was clearly sinking in that now it was the inevitable conclusion to this.

Lan Zhan bowed then, palms flat against the floor, forehead touching the boards. “Uncle, Wangji was in the wrong and will take responsibility.”

Wei Wuxian’s heart stuttered in his chest at the words. He couldn’t help the little gasp that escaped him. The absolute joy, so sudden and overwhelming.

Lan Qiren, for his part, only nodded absentmindedly, like he was unwilling to process a second more of the nightmare that had unfolded before him. He was quiet for a while, and then: “...I suppose I will have to contact Jiang Fengmian.”

“Lan Zhan, we’ll get a spring wedding!” Wei Wuxian's grin was so wide it almost hurt.

Lan Zhan straightened, turning back to him. Wei Wuxian’s heart stopped entirely – there was a slight smile on his lips, the barest upward tilt of the corners, his eyes glowing with answering mirth. “Mn.”

It didn’t matter, then, when Lan Qiren snapped at them to stop looking at each other, and to go copy the rules again, in separate rooms this time. It didn’t matter that Wei Wuxian’s hand was tired after hours and hours of writing. It didn’t matter that Jiang Cheng shouted his voice hoarse at him afterward, asking ‘ Lan Wangji? Of all people, Lan Wangji? But he hates you!’ again and again.

It didn’t matter that he got gawked at, and people whispered around him about him corrupting the virtuous Second Master Lan. They’d stop, eventually.

Wei Wuxian’s heart was too full to take note of anything but the feeling of Lan Zhan’s regard.

-

“It’s beautiful, Lan Zhan,” he gasped, turning the dizi in his hands, admiring the handiwork. It was black and very intricately done, adorned with a bright red tassel at the end. “How am I going to top this kind of a betrothal gift, ah? You’ve set the bar too high!”

“I get to marry Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan replied. “In terms of competition, you have already won.”

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian groaned, face heating. “We’ve talked about that! Will you think about my poor heart for once?”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan said, leveling him a soft look. He took Wei Wuxian’s hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of it. Wei Wuxian was feeling weak again.

It was still a little hard to believe that he could get this. That Lan Zhan had liked him all this time, and due to their misunderstandings, it had taken them ages to get here. The fact that Lan Zhan – his Lan Zhan, the guy who a month ago would’ve only glared at him – was saying these sweet things to him was almost impossible to believe.

“Watch it,” Jiang Cheng snapped behind them from under the tree where he had gloomily sat himself. Being the world’s angriest, most dedicated chaperon.

Wei Wuxian had tried to argue over the futility of that after all the things they’d already done with Lan Zhan, but everyone from Jiang Cheng to Lan Zhan himself seemed to be of one mind about it. Ridiculous. What did it mean now, to not touch each other for a few months, if they had already done it plenty of times, and were going to get married anyway?

It only served to make Wei Wuxian very frustrated and kind of daring around Lan Zhan. He knew it was punishment, too, but they were already punished with copying the rules again, and wasn’t that enough?

Like Jiang Cheng wasn’t present and had not said anything, Wei Wuxian stole a quick kiss from Lan Zhan’s soft lips.

“Do you want me to go get Lan Qiren?” Jiang Cheng snapped.

Wei Wuxian ignored him. “Why don’t we play something pretty, Lan Zhan? Ah, how about that one song you made yourself?”

Something flickered across Lan Zhan’s face, but then he merely nodded, turning to his guqin. He played the first few notes slowly, calmly. Wei Wuxian joined him after listening a bit – the melody was starting to become familiar. He’d heard it every now and then, when he’d found Lan Zhan alone playing somewhere.

His dizi did not sound all that bad, after all. In his memories, his playing had been barely passable, but now that he was doing it with Lan Zhan, they harmonized pretty well.

Wei Wuxian felt warm, playing with Lan Zhan. Spending time with him without infuriating him constantly. It turned out that when Lan Zhan wasn't thinking that Wei Wuxian was going around being frivolous with just anyone, he could tolerate his flirting and teasing quite well.

In fact, it was starting to become apparent that underneath all the propriety and stoicism, Lan Zhan was a terrible monster who liked to make Wei Wuxian blush and whimper with the awful, heart-melting compliments he told with complete sincerity.

The man seemed to feel no remorse about it. And much like in bed, Wei Wuxian could do nothing but take it.

When the final notes of the song hung in the air, Wei Wuxian turned to his betrothed again. "Lan Zhan, tell me, were you already in love with me when you started composing this song?"

The tips of his ears went red, but the look in Lan Zhan's eyes was fond. Ah. Wei Wuxian cleared his throat, suddenly certain of the fact that he knew the answer to the next question he was going to ask.

Instead, he took to another direction. "It's quite a miracle that you could tolerate me so well, even when you thought I was toying with you."

Something difficult appeared behind Lan Zhan's eyes at that. "No, I...Wei Ying. I treated you unfairly."

"Aish, stop it, stop it," Wei Wuxian said immediately, squirming like the words were giving him a rash. "I didn't make it very easy for you either, did I? Let's just forget about it."

Lan Zhan did not look entirely like he was willing to let it go, but he only replied: "Mn."

"Besides, do you know what Jiang Cheng did?" Wei Wuxian ignored the noise of protest Jiang Cheng let out at that. "He thought I was having a romance with Wen Ning! Hahaha, can you imagine?"

Lan Zhan turned his eyes back to his guqin, clearly uncomfortable. His ears were crimson. Ah, Wei Wuxian didn't mean to upset him again. Quickly, he continued: "It's only funny because if he'd only just thought about it for a second, it would've been obvious that it was you."

It was true. Jiang Cheng was exceptionally good at ignoring obvious signs. Ah, then again, pot and kettle.

"Anyway, what I meant to say is," Wei Wuxian pushed on. "I think a very good thing came out of the mess, so we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves!"

"That is a terrible moral, Wei Wuxian," Jiang Cheng said, unimpressed. "Don't encourage thoughtlessness."

"You're supposed to be silent, Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian replied. "You're such a bad chaperon."

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes but did not comment.

Wei Wuxian turned back to his betrothed, the love of his life, and was surprised to find him already looking. Carefully taking in the features of his face, studying them slowly, tenderly. There was nothing heated in his gaze, this time. Nothing inappropriate.

He merely looked at Wei Wuxian with an expression full of a feeling Wei Wuxian perhaps recognized, but could not name in the fear of really having his heart crack open for it.

He swallowed, basking in the attention still, and only responded by giving Lan Zhan a radiant smile. The golden eyes softened further. Seeing him, acknowledging him.

Wei Wuxian would be gratified to look back at him for the rest of their lives.

-