Jimbit



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    The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating. 

    The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice. 

    “I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”

    Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.

    “Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"

    Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little. 

    -
    Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.

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    06 Jun 2026

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    When the unsentimental financial imperative of the NHL sees Shane traded to the Boston Raiders, he and Ilya are thrown into closer extended proximity than ever before. As they adjust to life as teammates, they are forced to contend with the nature of their relationship -and must answer for themselves: is it even a relationship at all?
    ____

    Sliding down the wall, Shane hunched over his untied sneakers, shoved on hastily when Coach had called him in for a meeting after morning skate.

    “Boston wanted you specifically. I’ve already spoken to their GM. You’re flying this evening or tomorrow morning: I’ll confirm once the paperwork clears.”

    “Mom,” Shane managed.

    “Oh sweetie. I know, okay. Those fuckers, how dare they do this! Two fucking cups! Now all of a sudden they decide they want a reset and you’re going to fund it.”

    Shane put his head between his knees and tried to breathe. God, Boston. They hated him there; it was so far away; he was fucking their captain.

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    06 Jun 2026

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    Shane Hollander accidentally comes out to his hockey team after years of hiding his sexuality behind carefully crafted personas and unfinished coming out speeches. As the Metros slowly begin icing him out on and off the ice, Shane spirals between rage, grief, and self-discovery—while Ilya refuses to let him forget exactly who he is.

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    06 Jun 2026

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    Shane is an omega passing for a beta thanks to suppressants, until he finds himself hospitalized and can no longer pretend.

    The NHL is not ready for omega Shane Hollander. Not even close.

    Least of all Ilya Rozanov.

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    05 Jun 2026

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    Shane had been used to being alone. He'd never thought of himself as lonely. He honestly often craved the solitude, found it grounding. But that was before he knew what it was like to have someone to call, someone to touch. He was never lonely before Rozanov, but he'd been lonely ever since.

    April 2017: Shane does not get laid out on the ice.

    Ilya goes through with ending it.

    Shane lets him.

    What follows is eleven months of distance, denial, and a quiet kind of devastation neither of them knows how to name, let alone fix.

    They learn how to live without each other.

    (Or at least, how to pretend.)

    And then, almost a year later, the infamous collision happens and Shane goes down cold.

    And suddenly, neither of them can pretend it doesn’t matter.

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    04 Jun 2026