Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

When Buck agreed to help Eddie go through his garage, he wasn’t expecting the garage to look like an episode of Hoarders. Boxes piled to the ceiling, unlabeled, and entirely full of stuff that Eddie’s had for, what Buck assumes, is a millennium.

Buck had lived here while Eddie was in El Paso, and then seven more months after that while he was looking for his own place. During that time, he never used the garage because he knew Eddie still had stuff in there. What he didn’t know was just how much stuff he had in there.

They’ve been picking through boxes doing the “Does this bring you joy?” method all morning. They’ve made it through half the boxes already and found a bunch of Christopher's clothes that could fit Theo right now.

Which is why Buck agreed to this in the first place. He’s had custody of Theo for two months now. Two long months. But he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He loves being a parent. He just wishes he’d be able to actually do other things than just be a parent but beggars can’t be choosers.

He didn’t realize just how hard taking care of a toddler would be, especially by yourself. He’s barely able to keep up with him. Like yesterday, he’d spent all afternoon just trying to keep up with chores around the house. Dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, all his efforts getting immediately thwarted by a 3 year old.

When Theo finally fell asleep, Buck was thrilled to have some time to sit on the couch, watch some reality tv show, and fold laundry in peace. Unfortunately, none of that happened as he’d fallen asleep the second he slumped down on the couch.

He called Eddie the next morning to tell him what happened and Eddie offered to come over and do the laundry for him so that he could sleep.

“No, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“I’m offering, Buck.”

“And I'm saying no!”

After that they’d got into talking about how the first half of their 48 off went. That’s when Eddie mentioned that he was going through his garage and found some of Christopher's old clothes that Theo might fit into. Buck offered to come over and help go through the boxes and pick up the hand-me-downs.

Buck had managed to convince Maddie to watch Theo, on the promise he’d watch Jee and Nash for her to have a date night with Chim. Theo and Jee-Yun get along fine, though he’s a bit too rowdy for the way she likes to play. It causes them to fight and have to be separated. Which means having both of them by yourself is even more taxing than childcare normally is.

“Alright, next box pleeassseee!” Buck draws out the last word.

Eddie grunts and places another box in front of Buck. “That one’s nice and heavy, have fun.”

Buck slices the tape off the box and opens it to a weird sight. Right on top is Eddie’s suit from Chimneys bachelor party. From a little over two years ago. The one where he and Buck went as Crockett and Tubbs but kept arguing who was who, and then got so drunk together that they’d blacked out and woke up to a trashed hotel room.

That was easily the drunkest Buck had ever been. The worst hangover ever, paired with Chimney going missing on his own wedding day was probably one of the worst days of his life. But he remembers having fun with Eddie before it all went to shit. It’s come back in flashes over the years.

The random people they partied with. His arm strung around Eddie’s neck, and yelling directly into his ear to make sure that Eddie heard him. The DJing, Eddie’s shirt getting ripped off, Eddie’s hand on his shoulder as he yelled “We’re firefighters!” and kicked open the hotel room door. It all goes dark after that. His memory only fills in the next morning. They’d spent the whole day looking for Chimney. It was only after they found him that Buck remembered he had a disposable camera for the party. He had no idea where that went, always assumed that a party goer took it home with them.

Buck holds up the suit “Why do you have this?”

Eddie had his back facing him, digging through his own box, but he spun around to see what Buck held up. The second his eyes made contact with it, his eyes went wide “Oh. My. God.”

“Yeah, I know! Why do you have this? It’s literally covered in vomit.”

Eddie shrugs “I cleaned it.”

Buck drops his voice “Eddie, does this bring you joy?”

“Yes, Buck it does actually.” Eddie places his hands on his hips and cocks his head at Buck.

Buck has a shit-eating grin on his face now “Does it really?”

“Of course it does. We had fun that night.” Eddie turns back towards his box.

Buck puts the suit into a box labeled ‘KEEP’

He really tries to tone down how excited he got over Eddie keeping the suit even though it was ripped to shreds and vomit-stained. Simply because they had fun while Eddie was wearing it. That shouldn’t feel as good to Buck as it does. But fuck, it feels good.

“Do you even remember anything from that night?” Buck asks.

“Bits and pieces.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Eddie snorts “I remember screaming “We don’t need keys, we’re firefighters!” and then kicking open the hotel door.”

Buck laughs with him. “I remember that too, that was actually the last thing I remember before I blacked out.”

“I remember banging on the bedroom door trying to get Chimney to come out, and some girl asked what drugs I was on because I kept screaming about ‘talking to chimneys’. That’s where it goes dark for me.”

Buck scoffed. “That was a good night huh?”

Eddie meets Buck's eyes “Like I said, the suit actually does bring me joy.”

Buck beams at him and continues digging through the box. That’s when he spots it. He feels like his eyes are about to pop out of his head.

The camera.

The infamous missing disposable camera, right here in a box in Eddie’s junkyard of a garage.

“No way…”

Eddie’s back still turned to Buck asks “What’d you find now?”

“Look!” Eddie turns to look as Buck pulls the camera out of the box and shakes it at Eddie with a grin split across his face.

“It’s a camera Buck.”

“It’s THE camera Eds!”

Eddie’s brows furrow and he shakes his head.

Buck continues “The bachelor party camera.”

Eddie’s mouth gapes open and then shuts. Then opens again “No fucking way I had that thing the whole time.”

“Yes fucking way! We have to get this developed! I thought this was gone forever!”

Buck has never been more excited in his life. He knows that it probably just has blurry pictures of him and Eddie super drunk and nothing interesting but he’d fully accepted never seeing these pictures. So, to be holding it in his hands. He feels like he’s on top of the world.

“How do you even know that’s the bachelor party camera?”

Bucks face drops, reminiscent of a kicked puppy. “How dare you?”

“Buck, it’s a camera. In a box in my garage. That could have literally anything on it.”

Buck places a hand over his heart. “Okay, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just break my heart into 50 pieces. Not only is it in here-” He gestures to the box in front of him. “With the strips of the suit that you-” Pointing at Eddie now “Wore and said incited joy! Remember!”

Eddie stares back at Buck, pretending not to be amused but Buck can see right through him.

“But also there’s dried puke on the side of it, look.” He shoves the camera in Eddie’s face.

Eddie jumps back and swats Buck's hand “Eugh, Buck! Why are you even holding that, no one in their right mind is going to touch that thing and develop the pictures with puke on it.”

“I have resources, don’t you worry.” Buck drags out the last half of the sentence.

Eddie smiles at Buck now “I don’t even want to know, just take it and update me when you get the pictures.”

ʚɞ┈┈┈┈┈ʚɞ

The next morning Buck woke up on the couch again, after attempting to fold the laundry he didn’t get to the day before. He’d woken up to the sound of pots and pans clattering in the kitchen. Worried that Theo woke up before him and had gotten into something, he immediately jumped to his feet, though he was extremely sleep-deprived and barely able to open his eyes. So he crashed into the coffee table, fully fell over it, face-planted onto the ground, and managed to fling the laundry basket from the couch. Resulting in him on the floor, covered in laundry, next to the flipped table.

That’s when Theo came running up to him with a boiling pot on his head and a strainer in hand. “Goodmorning Buck! I’m making breakfast!”

Buck looks up at him and can’t help but laugh and shake his head. “That sounds great buddy, but next time wake me up too so we can do it together, okay?”

“Okay, let's make pancakes!”

By the time pancakes, cleaning, and getting them both dressed are done, Christy, Theo’s nanny, shows up to the house. She was running a little late because she had to drive her wife to work after her wife’s car broke down. By the time she arrived, that only gave Buck 30 minutes to make it to work. Which with L.A. traffic at 7:30 AM, that is cutting it pretty close.

During the drive, he has to stop for road work. Twice. And his phone ended up dying in traffic because he forgot to plug it in last night before falling asleep. Meaning, he ends up being 15 minutes late to work, with no way to let anyone know.

“Buckley! You finally grace us with your presence!” Chimney calls down from the loft as Buck is walking in from the parking lot.

“I’m so sorry! I woke up late, there was a huge mess I had to clean, Christy had to drive her wife to work so she was late getting to my house, my phone died and then I had to stop twice for road work.” Buck yells out while moving toward the locker room.

“It’s fine Buck. Go get dressed and get up here so I can go over the morning briefing with you!”

While Buck is getting his uniform on, Eddie walks into the locker room coffee mug in hand. “Hey, rough morning?”

Buck works on the buttons on his shirt “Yeah, man. Rough night too.”

Eddie smirks “Theo kicking your ass?”

“After I left yours yesterday I spent all afternoon just trying to clean again. That’s it. Every time I got close to getting something cleaned up, Theo destroyed a different part of the house. Then, when I finally got him asleep I saw my chance to fold the laundry that I never got to the day before, but the second I sat down on the couch I fell asleep. Didn’t even plug my damn phone in.”

“Ah, that’s why you didn’t respond to me last night.” Eddie takes a sip of his coffee before continuing “Or this morning…”

Buck looks over at Eddie while getting the pins on his uniform situated. “I’m sorry, I was so damn busy.”

Eddie shakes his head “You don’t have to apologize for that. I can’t say I remember Chris much at that age specifically…” He takes another sip of his coffee. “But no matter the age, kids are still rambunctious and it’s easy to get overwhelmed. I just know how fast it all gets out of hand when you’re trying to do it by yourself.”

Buck knew exactly what he meant by that. When Christopher was Theo’s age, Eddie was still in Afghanistan. Watching Shannon raise Christopher by herself through sparse video calls and letters. Buck knew Eddie wasn’t proud of anything that happened involving him in the army, and running from Shannon and Christopher. He knew Eddie hated talking about that time in their lives and was vague about the reasons he’d run in the first place. Buck assumed it had something to do with his parents being so overbearing, Shannon and him being so young, and having a young disabled child is always hard, even more so when you add up all the prior things.

He knew how much time Eddie spent running, Buck having done the same thing. Running from different things but with the ultimate end goal of avoiding pain. It turns out running from things results in lifelong guilt and even more pain, no matter how much you do to be forgiven and forgive those around you. It was something they both knew well.

Buck’s face softens while Eddie continues “Chris wanted to come over to your house last night because he’s craving Bobby’s lasagna and wanted you to make it. I figured you could use the help anyway but when you didn’t answer I figured you had your hands full…”

Buck nods.

That’s one of the hardest parts of being Theo’s guardian now. Buck can handle the lost sleep, the headaches that never seem to fully go away, and the serious lack of free time. But, with all his time occupied, he’s been having a hard time trying to hang out with Eddie and Christopher. Even when he was at Eddie’s yesterday, Chris was at school. Then, Buck had to leave to pick up Theo.

When Eddie came back from El Paso, before Buck moved out into his own place, they spent damn near all their time together. They’d wake up together, go to work together, come home together, eat dinner together, clean together, watch tv together, even sleep in the same damn bed together. Which happened because they couldn’t stop arguing about who gets the couch and who gets the bed. Eddie telling Buck to take the bed because “It’s not your fault we came back and took over your house.” and Buck telling Eddie to take the bed because “It’s technically not my house, I was just keeping it warm for you.” Then Christopher telling them to “Just grow up and share the bed.”

So they did.

Which ended up being the reason that Buck was so damn determined to move out of Eddie’s house. Turns out sharing a bed with your straight best friend really puts a damper on your sex life. He couldn’t bring anyone back to Eddie’s house and with all his time occupied with Eddie and Christopher, he didn’t want to go out anyway. He hadn’t even considered how pent up the whole experience made him until he was taking daily ‘everything showers’. But really it was just him jerking off in the shower and biting his hand to muffle the sounds.

The very first night he moved into his own house, he didn’t even bother opening any of the boxes besides the one that held his… well… his toys. He wasn’t proud of it, but he’d spent seven months with the only release being his hand in a shower, give the guy a break.

Anyway, after Buck got his own place, they decided to do movie nights a couple times a week at Eddie’s. Buck had initially asked them about doing movie nights because he “felt weird being by myself after spending so long living with you guys” Those nights always started with Buck making dinner while Eddie pretended to help but was only there to taste test the food. Stealing bites or hovering around Buck until he offered Eddie a taste. Calling it his “dad tax”. Buck would pretend to be annoyed and shove him out of the kitchen so he can “Go help Chris pick a movie.”

It always ended with Christopher passed out on the couch before the movie was even over. Eddie would move him to his room and then without talking about it, or even acknowledging it, Buck would clean up around the house and then meet Eddie in the bedroom to share Eddie’s bed. Just like how they did when they lived together.

Since getting custody of Theo though, movie nights took a back seat. They tried to keep them up but Theo is too rambunctious to sit through a movie and Buck would just spend the whole time chasing him around, not even getting to watch the movie. If they did make it through a movie, Buck would then tell Eddie he had to go home to put Theo to bed.

So no more movie nights and no more sharing Eddie’s bed.

Buck was fine with it, really. He didn’t think of the way Eddie’s arm would slump behind his head on the couch during movie nights, or the way Eddie’s mouth looked when he wrapped his lips around a spoon during his “taste tests/dad tax”, or the way that sometimes in the early morning he’d wake up, with his and Eddie’s limbs all tangled together.

He totally didn’t think about any of that, or how much he missed his friend.

His best friend.

Buck rubs a hand down his face before asking “Come tomorrow? After our shift? We can do breakfast?”

Eddie smiles “Chris will be at school, and you still owe him a lasagna.”

Buck beams back “Then stay until dinner and we’ll do the lasagna too.”

He was fully aware that he just asked Eddie to spend the entire first half of his 48 off with him but really, he just misses his best friend.

“Sounds good, I’ll distract the kids while you do all the hard work.”

Buck laughs “Does that offer to do my laundry still stand or are you strictly on kid duty?”

“Oof, only kid duty. Unless you want to sweeten the deal?” He takes a few steps towards Buck, stopping only a foot or two in front of him.

If Buck didn’t know any better, he would immediately assume this was flirting. Hell, coming from anyone else he would 100% assume this was flirting. But, it was coming from Eddie.

His straight best friend Eddie.

Buck furrows his brows, feeling his heart rate pick up he asks “What do you mean?”

Eddie takes another step closer, puts his free hand on Buck's bicep, squeezes (...?) and bats (...?) his eyelashes at Buck “I really want that banana bread you make.”

Did… Did Eddie just squeeze his bicep and bat his eyelashes at him?

Was that flirting? That had to be flirting?

This wasn’t the first time that Buck had been confused by the way Eddie touches him. He finds himself second guessing every touch but Eddie’s just a touchy guy.

Only with you.

Eddie’s straight.

He’s not flirting, no.

No, no way is Eddie flirting with him and no way is Buck hoping that he was. That’s impossible on both ends. Eddie is straight. Buck is not a cliche. He is not in love with his straight best friend. Getting turned on by him asking for banana bread is definitely not normal though.

Deciding to chalk it up to being touch starved and being essentially celibate for months, Buck takes a step back before saying “Uh- Yeah- yeah n-no problem.”

Eddie notices Bucks step back, and sips his coffee before tilting his head.

“Okay, so I’ll make banana bread and Bobby’s lasagna, and you’ll handle the kids. Sounds good, bro.” Buck says while bumping Eddie’s shoulder with his fist.

He turns around before seeing Eddie’s reaction and practically sprints to the loft.

When he got close to the top of the stairs, he somehow missed a step and fell face-first (for the second time this morning) onto the ground. The whole loft erupted in laughter while Buck felt someone kneel next to him, and their hand pat his back. He didn’t have to look to know who it was.

“You okay?” Eddie’s voice broke through the laughter.

Buck sighs before pulling himself up to knees and meeting Eddie’s gaze “Would you believe me if I told you that is the second time that I’ve fallen face first this morning?”

Eddie then laughs and says “Yes, actually. You’re nothing but legs, it’s surprising you don’t fall over more.”

“You okay Buckaroo?” Hen asks from the couch.

Buck gently shoves Eddie back a little and rises to his feet, Eddie following right behind him.

“Yeah, just having a rough morning.” Buck scratches the back of his head and walks over to join Hen on the couch, he sits down on the end opposite from Hen, leaving enough space in between them for two people.

Eddie, still following Buck, decides to sit on the arm of the couch. The same end that Buck is on. Instead of the very clear, wide open space. They’re so close that Buck's shoulder is pressed against Eddie's thigh, Eddie's foot in between the arm of the couch and the cushion, his other foot bracing himself on the ground.

Buck feels the confusion come right back from earlier. He can’t help but look at Eddie, who’s looking right back at him. This can’t be flirting right? No, just his best friend sitting next to him on the couch. The arm of the couch. Instead of the space that’s open… The very clear, wide open space.

You’re reading too much into it. He’s straight. You’re not a cliche. He’s just a touchy guy.

Only with you.

Hen raises one brow looking at them “You two really are joined at the hip huh?”

Eddie laughs and Buck feels like he’s just been set on fire.

Eddie and Hen start talking about something that Buck can’t hear because he’s too focused on his shoulder pressing into Eddie’s thigh. Eddie’s pretty thick thigh, he can feel every laugh Eddie makes vibrate throughout his whole body.

Why is he sitting right here? There’s so much space to sit normally.

Maybe it is flirting?

He’s straight. It’s not flirting.

But Buck was good at reading people, always has been. He can see right through every lie he’s been told. It’s why he and Eddie work so well. Eddie shuts down emotionally and Buck coaxes every feeling out of him that he so desperately tries to hide. He can see when people are flirting with him, you don’t sleep with a new person almost every night (during Buck 1.0) without knowing what’s flirting and what isn’t.

The point is, Buck can read people. This feels like more than just best bro behavior.

Relax.

He squeezed ((...?) still unclear on that) Buck’s bicep, batted his eyelashes at him, and then essentially sat right down on Buck's shoulder.

You are reading too much into it, relax.

Buck is losing his mind trying to connect the dots.

This is just BuckAndEddie being BuckAndEddie, relax.

“...Theo?”

Buck gets broken out of his thoughts by Hen asking something about Theo.

“I’m sorry I just checked out, what are you asking me?” Buck says, shaking his head.

Hen laughs “Eddie was telling me that you took some of Christopher’s old clothes so I said, I have some of Denny’s old clothes, if you want them for Theo?”

Buck breathes, fully aware that for the last few minutes he was taking shallow breaths and was way too interested in a certain thigh, still pressed against his shoulder.

“Yeah, that sounds great, Hen thanks.” He manages to choke out.

Eddie turns to face him, planting both feet into the crease between the couch and the arm, bringing Buck in direct eye line with his crotch. “You alright, bud?”

Buck feels his blood run cold, he’s currently facing Eddie’s crotch.

Eddie’s crotch is less than 1 foot from Buck’s face.

“Buck?” Hen’s voice rises through the ringing in his ears.

He faces her instead of the dick, Eddie’s dick, that is less than one foot from his fucking face.

“Yeah, I didn’t get enough sleep last night. God, what I would do for just one quiet night.”

Buck immediately realized what he said and slapped a hand over his mouth at the same time Hen’s eyes widen and she points at Buck.

The q-word. Buck said the q-word.

He got distracted by Eddie’s dick and said the q-word.

He spends his entire morning with his brain one mile behind his body, but it’s Eddie’s dick that truly startles him so bad that he jinxes the fire station.

Eddie breaks their silence “My god, the jinx is not a real thing.”

The tones sound before Eddie even has the chance to finish the words on his tongue.

ʚɞ┈┈┈┈┈ʚɞ

22 calls on a 24 hour shift. Nowhere near their record but still enough to make everyone pissed at Buck for using the q-word.

Once word spread around that Buck said the q-word, his day had gone from cursed to hell on Earth. Everytime the tones went off, people started yelling out Buck's name like how Timmy Turner's dad yells out “Dinkleberggggg”.

People were looking at him like they wanted to explode him with their minds.

When they thought they finally got a chance to relax, Buck volunteered to cook some food as an apology but the second he stood up, the tones went off again.

So, everyone ended up hungry and mad at Buck. All. Shift.

Everyone besides Eddie, who kept looking at him the direct opposite way everyone else was looking at him. Small smile, glimmer in the eye style.

Eddie, who slipped Buck at least 3 protein bars in between calls.

Eddie, who draped a blanket over Buck when he finally got the chance for a brief (like 20 minutes maximum) nap on the loft couch.

Eddie, who is now in the locker room at the end of their shift, asking Buck if they’re still hanging out today.

Buck wants to hang out all day like they planned. He really does. But he’s just so damn tired.

So.

Damn.

Tired.

He doesn’t register the question Eddie asked him, before shutting his locker and slumping his head against it.

“Come on bud, let me drive you home.” Eddie says, dragging Buck to the parking lot.

Buck climbs into his own truck, this time on the passenger seat while Eddie drives him home.

“Theo will be up, I gotta cook breakfast.”

Eddie glances at Buck “I’m sure Christy has it covered. Besides you can’t cook him breakfast in that state. You’ve only got one eye open and you didn’t even button your shirt all the way.”

Buck looks down and realizes Eddie’s right, his shirt is very much only buttoned two-thirds of the way up. His chest is on full display.

He slams his head back onto the headrest “Fuck. I’m so tired, Eds.”

Buck's eyes are so heavy that he barely registers that they’ve turned into his driveway.

He feels his seatbelt being unbuckled, and his legs moving but he’s so out of it, somewhere in between dreaming and that one time he got drugged with those brownies from work.

“Eds, I gotta cook Theo breakfast, I gotta do the laundry, and make your banana bread.”

Eddie gets him in the house, leads him down the hallway and backs him down onto his bed.

“Let me handle it, Buck. Go to sleep.” Eddie says in a softness that Buck has only ever heard a few times.

“Because, Evan, you came in here the other day and you said you thought it would have been better if it had been you who was shot. You act like you are expendable, but you’re wrong.”

“There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you.”

Buck thinks about the softness in his voice as he lets himself slip into sleep.

ʚɞ┈┈┈┈┈ʚɞ

Bucks eyes flutter open to afternoon light seeping in through the curtains. Still groggy and slightly confused how he ended up in his own bed after work. He looks around and notices, his shoes are off and he’s got a blanket strewn about the bed. His phone is on the nightstand, plugged into the charger.

He reaches over to check the time, 5:12 pm.

He slept for almost 9 hours.

A whole 9 hours.

He hasn’t got that much sleep since Theo came into his custody. Most of the time, after Theo goes to sleep, Buck finds himself cleaning or trying to work out in peace. Or texting Eddie, and Maddie, updating each other on how their days went.

He normally doesn’t get to sleep until midnight. On his days on, he has to be at work at 8 am and be up at 6:30 am. And on his days off Theo will wake him up at 6:30 anyway because he’s so accustomed to the schedule.

Theo!

Completely forgetting that he has a toddler in his care, he jumps up and sprints down the hallway, just to be taken back at the sight through the screen door to the backyard. Chris sitting at the outdoor table, with homework from the look of it. Eddie pushing Theo on the toddler sized swing set Hen gave him.

His heart swells as he remembers how he got home.

“Let me handle it, Buck. Go to sleep”

Eddie.

Eddie drove Buck home, got him into bed, took off his shoes and took care of Theo all day so that Buck could sleep.

Buck tilts his head and watches the scene unfold while fighting back what he’s pretty sure are tears, or his heart trying to escape through his eyes. One or the other.

He watches them for longer than he’d care to admit to himself, before he realizes how dry his mouth is. He tears his eyes away from the boys and heads into the kitchen to get a drink of water.

All the dishes are done. Whatever remains is drying on the rack.

Buck knew this was Eddie's doing and not Christy’s because Christy hand dries with a towel, while Eddie leaves the dishes on the rack for Buck to dry them.

Another habit from living together, from doing dishes together pressed side by side.

Out of curiosity, he peaks into the laundry room, all the laundry is done. Folded and separated. Another thing he knows is Eddie’s doing.

Because Eddie separates the clothes based on color, organizes his closet the same way. He claims it’s “easier to see what you’re reaching for”.

Not only did Eddie take Buck home, help him to bed, and take care of Theo all day for him, but he did the dishes and did the laundry.

All the chores that Buck had been complaining about not being able to do, and Eddie listened and did it for him.

Just another thing they’re both fantastic at. Knowing exactly when and how the other needs help.

Just like when Buck helped out Eddie by introducing him to Carla.

Just like when Eddie immediately forgave Buck after the lawsuit, knowing he was feeling guilty.

Just like when Buck threw a station Christmas party so Eddie and Chris can spend their first Christmas without Shannon with each other.

Just like when Buck was wallowing in self-pity at home post-ladder truck and Eddie delivered Chris to him to cheer him up.

Just like when Eddie was forcing the relationship with Ana because Chris loved her and Buck had simply asked “Is that enough?”

Just like when Eddie got shot and Buck crawled underneath an engine to drag him out of the line of fire, and held him all the way to the hospital.

Just like when Buck got struck by lightning and Eddie was the first to move to get him.

They’ve spent the whole time they know each other completely entangled in each other's lives. There’s no Buck without Eddie and there’s no Eddie without Buck. They’re BuckAndEddie.

Every argument, every near-death experience, every apology, every single thing they do for each other, resulting in an undying devotion to each other with little acknowledgement. There’s no need for acknowledgement, it’s just what they do. Push and push back, fight and forgive. Undeniably care without fear for how the other receives it. Buck knows they’re intense. There’s an unwavering loyalty lying here that neither of them will give up.

“Hey sleepyhead.”

Eddie’s voice breaks Buck out of his own head, who knows how long he’s been staring into the laundry room with glossy eyes debating the intensity of this thing between him and Eddie.

He turns to face Eddie and instead of saying his thanks first, he strolls over to him and pulls him into a hug.

Eddie tightens the hug, pulling Buck as close to him as he can, and squeezes both his arms around him before Eddie pats him twice on the back and takes a small step back, releasing the hug.

Buck’s eyes are still watery from the laundry room realization that he’s devoted and loyal to this man in front of him, like he’s a neglected dog from the pound, and Eddie is the first person to pet him and love him for the timid thing he is.

“Thank you.” It comes out weaker, softer than Buck meant for it to but he means it down to his very core.

“You’re welcome. It’s the least I could do for you.”

Buck didn’t even realize he’d stepped forward again until Eddie was back in his arms. This one’s different from the usual hugs they have though. Usually they’ve each got one arm over the shoulder, the other around the waist. This time, both Eddie’s arms are wrapped around Buck’s waist, and his head is buried in Buck's neck. Buck’s arms wrapped around Eddie’s neck.

Buck drops his head onto Eddie’s shoulder. They stand there for a minute, just breathing each other in.

Eddie smells like cedarwood and tea-tree oil. Probably that stupid 3 in 1 soap he uses. Buck has attempted to get him to change his ways, but he’s dedicated to that damn soap. He’s used the same brand the whole time Buck’s known him.

“It’s $7 and it works, what do I need the fancy stuff for?”

Buck starts laughing.

Eddie starts laughing too, for reasons unbeknownst to Buck.

Unless Eddie has a neural link into Buck’s brain, there’s nothing funny about what’s happening right now.

Nonetheless, they can’t stop laughing. Arms still wrapped around each other, both their heads rested on each other's shoulders.

Eddie breaks the hug first again, stepping back.

“So can you make that lasagna now?” Eddie asks, sly smile hung across his face.

Buck nods and takes the opportunity to study Eddie’s face again. He traces his face with his eyes, admiring the beauty mark under Eddie’s eye, the faint growth of hair on his upper lip, and his beautiful brown doe eyes.

Jesus, that’s a new thought.

Objectively yes, Eddie is attractive. He’s a handsome guy. Even Buck can appreciate that.

He’s never once thought the word beautiful when thinking about Eddie.

Buck reminds himself that he’s just pent up, of course a gorgeous man will throw him off a little.

Here he is again thinking about his beautiful and gorgeous but straight best friend.

STRAIGHT.

Buck shakes his head, in an attempt to shake the thought out “Thank you.” Buck says, again.

Eddie grins “Please stop thanking me and just make the damn lasagna. I think Chris was about to come in here and strangle you himself if he didn’t get that lasagna tonight.”

Buck swats at Eddie’s arm before heading to the kitchen.

ʚɞ┈┈┈┈┈ʚɞ

“Theo ate my pencil shavings off the table, Buck. And then he took my homework and also tried to eat that. You’re raising a demon child.” Christopher says, sprawled out on the living room couch.

Buck had put Theo to sleep an hour ago, following dinner, and an attempt at a movie night. Per Christopher's request. He had desperately wanted to watch some action thing on Netflix, featuring Ben Affleck, that his friend Lewis said was “the greatest movie of all time.”

Buck is seriously judging this kid's taste if that was the greatest movie of all time.

Eddie quips back from his spot on the arm chair next to Buck “Well, he helped raise you so if Theo’s a demon child, so are you.”

Buck can’t even fight the smile off his face after that.

He helped raise you.

Buck did help raise him. Parenting talks that Eddie let him take, because Buck had more experience in the thing in question. Parent-teacher meetings that Buck went with Eddie to so much that the pta moms stopped hitting on him. Building him an accessible skateboard. Making breakfast, and dinner, and sewing the holes in his clothes.

Buck had pseudo-parented Chris without even realizing it. Without question. He just did.

“Yeah yeah fine, you both raise feral children. Congrats. Now you’ve got another one, and this one's probably gonna bite ankles.”

Chris and Eddie laugh, Buck is stuck on the ‘Now you’ve got another one’.

Buck looks over at Eddie and can see the wrinkles around his eyes from laughing so much.

He looks so damn good like this. So open, care-free, relaxed.

He’d spent all day doing chores, chasing around a toddler, and helping a teenager with homework. But he looked so relaxed to have done it.

God, he’s good at this.

Being a father comes to Eddie so naturally, it’s completely unreal that he doesn’t believe he’s a good father. Buck has had to reassure him so many times that bad fathers don’t even worry that they’re bad fathers. They just are. But Eddie isn’t. He’s made mistakes, every parent does. He tries so damn hard to fix it though. Something you can’t say for bad fathers. Only good fathers spend their time living with guilt about fucking it all up.

Buck would know, his own bad father wanders around living guilt-free. Knowing he’s a bad parent, always with a promise to “fix things” but it always falls through. Littering Bucks brain with excuses.

Buck is so afraid of ending up like him. The neglectful father. The father who only pays attention when there’s blood and tears. The father who can’t name a single hobby their child has. The father who judges and takes whatever love a child can give and tosses it into a meat grinder. Then watches that meat grinder overfill with love, knowing it will never be given back. Even the scraps get left there on the floor. Left there to attract flies, the only creatures that care for it.

Buck still feels like the scraps. The only ones that come to him are flies who leave once they get their fill of him. The second they get their fill, they’re gone.

Eddie’s never gotten his fill.

Booming laughter shakes him out of whatever self-deprecating haze Buck just found himself in.

Eddie is laughing so hard he’s covering his mouth so that he doesn’t wake up Theo, and Chris is laughing so hard his cheeks are red. Buck doesn’t even know what they’re laughing about. Just that he wants to hear that sound for the rest of his life.

“Hey, Buck? Can we stay the night?” Christopher bats his eyelashes at him.

Ah, I know who you get that from.

“Of course, guest rooms yours kid.”

“Thanks Buck!” Chris says as he grabs his crutches and starts walking down the hallway.

“Uh, no goodnight hug?” Eddie calls after him.

“I’m 15 dad, go hug Buck goodnight!”

Buck speaks faster than the speed of light “I could use a goodnight hug.”

Eddie turns back to him with his eyebrows raised and a grin across his face.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get one.” Eddie, still smiling, in that same sparkly eyed grin he’s had all night, is now turned completely toward Buck. One knee brought up on the arm chair.

Eddie continues “Thanks for letting us stay, I really didn’t want to have to uber to the station to get my prius and then have to drive home.”

“No problem, you’re always welcome here.”

“I know.”

“Do you… do you wanna share my bed or do you want the couch?” Buck looks down at the string of his hoodie and twirls it in his fingers trying to hide the sudden heat on his face.

“I think you know I prefer the bed.”

Buck does know he prefers the bed. He’s got enough roommate nights and movie nights stored in his memory now to know, if given the opportunity, they will always share the bed.

Eddie lifts his foot and knocks it into Buck's leg. “You owe me a banana bread.”

“That’s the only reason you did all this huh?” Buck looks back up to Eddie and tilts his head at him.

“Yup.” Eddie says, popping the “p”. “I really love that banana bread.”

“Only the banana bread?”

Only the banana bread?????

Buck couldn’t even begin to understand why he said that. Yeah, he loves Eddie and knows Eddie loves him but they don’t say it. They just do. He doesn’t understand why they don’t say it either, everyone tells their friends they love them.

Something about him and Eddie is different. They’re best friends. They’re partners. In everything. He loves Eddie, and Eddie loves him. He doesn’t need to hear him say it.

Maybe you do.

They stare at each other for a little longer, faint smiles and words lingering in the air that they’re too afraid to say. Let alone admit to themselves.

Eddie breaks the silence. “You know that I do, right?”

Buck fills in the blanks for himself, ignores the shiver down his spine and the warmth in his chest and nods.

“I know.”

ʚɞ┈┈┈┈┈ʚɞ

Buck opens the front door before Eddie even knocks and drags him inside by the front of his shirt.

“Go sit on the couch! I just got Theo asleep so we have no interruptions.”

Eddie lets out a chuckle and says “Buy me dinner before you manhandle me next time?”

Ignoring the implications of that, Buck shuts the front door and pushes Eddie to the couch “Ha ha, very funny. I’ve been waiting for these pictures for so long, and I’ve been fighting myself to not open them all day. Just go sit.”

Buck had dropped off the disposable camera to be developed almost two weeks ago, and he finally got the text that they were done this morning. He immediately texted Eddie to come over, but Eddie had dinner plans with Hen and Karen, so he couldn’t come until later.

Eddie texted Buck he was on his way and that Chris was staying the night with Denny. Buck was secretly feeling guilty about being excited about that. He loves Christopher, and he loves Theo but it’s been a long time since it was just Buck and Eddie.

They always have at least one kid with them or Buck is so tired that he falls asleep before Eddie does. Like last time Eddie stayed over, the night of the “You know that I do, right?” Buck immediately passed out in the bed. Before Eddie was even done in the bathroom.

So yeah, he misses alone time with his best friend, sue him.

Buck plops down on the couch next to Eddie and grabs the envelope of pictures off the coffee table.

Eddie presses up next to him, touching in every way they can. Shoulders, thighs, knees all pressed against each other.

Buck faces Eddie, with the corners of his mouth tugged up. Then glances down at their legs pressed together, then back up to Eddie.

Eddie also glances down and then back up. “So I can actually see the pictures. I can’t see them from the other side of the couch, bud.”

Buck scoffs and pulls the pictures out of the envelope.

It’s not flirting. He’s straight. He just wants to see the pictures.

Right on top of you?

Buck shakes his head “Okay so there are 17 pictures in here. I’m gonna bet $10 that there’s 1 of your shirt getting ripped off.”

Eddie flashes Buck a cheeky smile “Only one? $5 says there’s two of my shirt getting ripped off.”

Buck knocks his knee against Eddie's “Cheapskate.”

“Hey I had the camera most of the night, there’s probably more of you than there are of me.”

Picture 1.

Buck and Eddie side by side, beers in hand. Arms slung around each other's shoulders.

Eddie says “Poor guys had no idea what was coming to them.”

Picture 2.

Buck and Eddie doing karaoke.

“Do you remember what song we sang?” Buck asks.

“I think so? I’m pretty sure it was ‘Whoomp! There it is’. Eddie laughs.

“There’s no way that's what we sang.” Buck laughs with him.

“I swear to God, Buck. That’s what we were singing.”

Picture 3.

Group picture of everyone in the karaoke room. Buck and Eddie piled next to each other, sat down, while everyone else is standing. Buck’s arm wrapped around Eddie’s neck, and he’s yelling into Eddie’s ear.

“Hey, I remember that. This was right before we decided to get an uber.”

“You mean right before “UBERRRRR!” Eddie yells in Buck’s face and Buck covers his mouth.

“Dude, I have a sleeping toddler in the other room.”

Eddie licks Buck's hand while making direct-eye contact with him.

Buck feels his breath hitch and the hairs on his neck stand up.

It’s not flirting, that’s a funny thing people do when someone covers their mouths.

But with direct eye-contact?

Buck is having a really hard time not picturing what other things Eddie can lick while making direct eye-contact.

Straight best friend Eddie. Take your hand off of his mouth.

He takes his hand off Eddie's mouth and wipes it on Eddie's jeans. Right on his thigh. Unpurposefully, his pinky grazes where the zipper on Eddie’s jeans sit.

This time he hears Eddie’s breath hitch.

“S-sorry.. I was just wiping the- your spit off my hand.”

“S’ Okay.”

Neither of them speak for a minute. Nor do they meet each other's eyes.

Eddie takes a deep breath and, per usual, breaks the air. “So the next picture?”

Picture 4.

The floor at the karaoke lounge, multiple people’s feet, all walking the same direction.

“Well, had to know there’d be some duds in here right?” Buck says softly.

Picture 5.

A man not in any of the previous pictures, driving what looks to be a party bus. Probably the Uber driver.

Picture 6.

Buck’s butt. Clothed but definitely his butt. White pants with a mint green blazer right above it.

Eddie bends over laughing while Buck says “Someone really liked my butt.”

Picture 7.

Mirror picture of Eddie in Chimney’s hotel room.

Eddie breathlessly says “I think I was that someone.”

Eddie is still smiling looking at the picture when Buck risks looking over at him.

He admitted he liked your butt.

Eddie turns his head towards Buck, their faces less than a foot apart, and their bodies pressed right against each other.

Buck can’t even pretend anymore. He is 100% aware that he’s openly staring into Eddie’s eyes. But, Eddie’s staring back.

Buck slaps his shit-eating grin back on before saying, in a teasing tone “You said you liked my butt.”

Eddie smirks and pushes Buck a little before grabbing the pictures out of Buck’s hands. He tries to grab them back but Eddie pushes him again, harder than before and it knocks Buck onto his side.

“I’m gonna hold the pictures now, you’re taking too long going through them.”

“Ugh, you’re so mean to me Eddie.” Buck resumes his position pressed against Eddie.

“Maybe…” he looks away back towards the pictures, drops his voice and says “but you like it.”

Buck desperately tries to ignore the heat he just felt wash over him and focuses back on the pictures.

Picture 8.

Eddie’s shirt being torn from multiple people, in multiple directions.

Buck can’t even focus on what Eddie’s saying because he’s completely distracted by the glisten on Eddie’s skin in the picture. The hair across his chest, and the flush of his face.

He’s definitely beautiful.

Buck’s found himself thinking that more the past two weeks.

Ever since ‘the laundry room revelation’, as Buck so fondly refers to it, when he realized that he and Eddie would do anything for each other. And that Eddie is beautiful.

Lots of people think about the unmistakingly remarkable looks of their friends, right? Buck thinks Hen is pretty, Chimney's charming, hell, even Ravi’s hot. But something about the way Eddie looks is so different. Every time he thinks about it, he feels like he’s been hit by lightning (again).

And he thinks about it a lot.

Everytime Eddie shows up at his house with Christopher in tow “Just to help you out a little.”

Everytime Eddie sits way too close to him on the couch at work.

Everytime Eddie ends up covered in dirt and grime on a call.

Everytime Eddie picks up Theo and swings him around and Theo laughs so hard he can’t breathe.

Everytime Eddie folds his damn laundry, all Buck thinks about is how beautiful he is.

“Buck?”

“Hm?”

“You kinda zoned out there bud.”

Buck has to tear his eyes away from the picture. “Sorry.”

“You okay?”

He looks at Eddie who’s staring him down with furrowed brows.

“Yeah, just getting tired.”

Eddie nods and says “Well let’s get through these then.”

Picture 9.

Another action shot of Eddie’s shirt getting ripped off.

“Guess I owe you $5” Buck says.

Picture 10.

Buck and Eddie DJing with drag queens next to them.

“I don’t even remember DJing.” Eddie shakes his head.

“I bet it sounded awful.”

“Couldn’t have been worse than your rendition of ‘Whoomp! There it is’”

Buck scoffs “Excuse you, OUR rendition.”

Picture 11.

Buck and Eddie, standing almost fully against each other, but not quite all the way. Eddie’s hands on Bucks waist, Bucks hands on Eddie’s shoulders.

Kissing.

What appears to be just a small, closed mouth kiss.

Suddenly the room feels cold. Even though he can feel Eddie pressed against him. It’s like they’ve both become statues, stuck staring in one direction for eternity. The direction being this picture.

Buck might actually be stuck. He can’t think or move or do anything except stare at his lips on Eddie’s.

And Eddie’s lips on his.

A “Huh.” escapes Eddie’s lips.

“Huh.” Buck mimics back.

“Well, apparently we kissed.”

“Yeah, Eds. I can see that. That’s a kiss alright. And that’s us. Doing it.”

Even though Eddie's still looking at the picture, Buck can see his eyebrows shoot up.

Buck starts panicking “Not like it it, but like kissing. Like doing some kissing. Us. Doing some kissing. Not doing it.”

Buck keeps going “Just me and you doing some kissing. Normal peck on the lips between bros. Best bros, pecking.”

Eddie turns his head to Bucks with one brow still raised and mouth slightly open.

Buck has to fight demons in his head to avoid looking at Eddie and his stupid lips.

His stupid, pretty lips.

Less than a foot from his face.

It would be so easy to recreate this picture, right here, right now.

Thankfully, Eddie turns his head back to the picture, apparently just as confused as Buck is.

Buck’s seriously debating going to confession and trauma dumping some poor priest that amid his bisexual awakening, he kissed his straight best friend.

Father forgive me, for I have sinned. I kissed my straight best friend two years ago and now that I’ve seen it, I can’t stop thinking about doing it again. Oh by the way, we would literally die for each other and we’ve saved each other's lives, and every relationship we have feels like nothing compared to each other.

That’s the truth though isn’t it?

They were all nothing compared to Eddie.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck, Tommy was right.

And Maddie.

And every stereotype that says the queer man falls for the straight best friend.

Is this really a ground-breaking revelation though?

It feels like a cold hard fact. Something that’s been simmering beneath the surface for years, never breaching, out of fear.

What Buck has been searching for. For years, begging from every person he’s ever been with. Nothing compared to Eddie. They’d been so strange and intense about each other from day one. It was love, right there in front of his face. Dangling in front of him, ripe for the taking. All he had to do was reach for it.

Buck loves Eddie.

He, whole-heartedly, loves Eddie.

Eddie, who cares so deeply about the people he loves and fights so hard for them that it gets misconstrued for anger. But there’s no real anger in him. He pushes back when he gets pushed, it’s not anger, it’s a defense mechanism. Defending against and preventing pain.

Eddie, who’s dick being in Bucks peripheral vision sent him in such a spiral two weeks ago that he q-worded the fire station.

Eddie, who can read Buck’s mind like a book and knows exactly what he needs and when he needs it.

He can’t reach for it.

This is Eddie. His straight best friend Eddie.

Does it matter if it’s not romantic love on Eddie’s end?

Who says he can’t love Eddie, and accept Eddie’s platonic love and be satisfied?

Is it platonic?

Could it actually be romantic?

Signs point to yes.

No.

Signs point to no.

Eddie’s straight.

Always has been, always will be.

Yet here he is, drunkenly kissing you in this picture.

Everyone does stupid shit when they’re drunk. Hell, he kissed Lucy when he was with Taylor. Didn’t mean anything, just one drunken kiss.

Just another drunken, meaningless kiss to throw under his belt.

With the man you’re in love with.

It's not meaningless to him at all.

It all makes sense, the blind loyalty, the co-parenting, the unwavering commitment and forgiveness they hold for each other.

Buck loves Eddie.

Eddie doesn’t love him like that.

Buck has to accept that he can love Eddie in such a way that won’t be reciprocated.

… Is it masochistic if he decides that’s enough for him?

Buck finally looks away from the picture, to study Eddie’s face, and decides that yes, it’s enough. Even if it’ll hurt at some point, it feels good now.

This is my best friend. I’ll take what he can give me.

Eddie faces Buck probably having felt Buck's eyes burning a hole into the side of the face, but doesn’t meet his eyes. Instead staring directly at Bucks mouth.

“We kissed.” Eddie very gently says, almost like he could barely get the words out.

“Mhm.” Is all Buck can manage.

“We kissed.” Eddie repeats.

During his own turmoil, he completely forgot that Eddie could’ve been spiraling too.

In a desperate attempt to ease Eddie out of whatever trance he’s in, Buck tries to come up with an explanation or an excuse that could make kissing your male best friend while drunk a-okay.

“Maybe it was… like a- like a dare?”

Yeah, dare. That could’ve been. This hotel room was completely full of people. Truth or dare is a classic party game. This could’ve totally been just a stupid little dare.

That seemingly broke Eddie out of whatever path he went down in his head. And he finally meets Buck's eyes “A dare?”

Buck's shoulders relax a little bit, as he explains “You know like truth or dare? I could totally see us doing that as a dare.”

Eddie stays silent, expression entirely unreadable.

Buck continues “There was this one time in high school, when two girls told me and my friend that if we kissed then they would kiss. We did. It’s a completely normal thing that could’ve happened.”

Eddie finally speaks. “You and your friend kissed so that two girls would kiss in front of you?”

“Mhm, not exactly my proudest moment. But hey, who doesn’t love girls kissing? Right?” Buck shrugs.

Eddie shakes his head, with a look comparable to having smelled something bad.

“… And you think we could’ve done that? At our age? In the age of the internet? Where we could’ve just looked that up? No kiss needed.”

“Look man, I don’t know!”

Buck throws his hands up in the air, gesturing toward the picture before continuing “That is a picture of us kissing Eddie, I’m trying to come up with a reason for it because I don’t remember this!”

“Well neither do I Buck!”

Buck takes the photos back out of Eddie’s hands, careful to avoid any skin-to-skin contact.

That would just be too much for Buck's nervous system right now. He feels like he’s run a marathon. He pretty much just speedrun a love realization in two minutes, a record time for him.

He’s feeling such an adrenaline rush that seeing himself kiss the man he loves and touching him at the same time might send blood rushing places it shouldn’t be.

“What’re you doing?” Eddie asks.

“Let’s just see what the next one is, maybe we’ll find a reason in here.”

Picture 12.

Buck and Eddie fully flush against each other. Chest to chest. Cock to cock. Eddie’s arms wrapped around Bucks waist, Bucks arms wrapped around Eddie’s shoulders. No longer a close mouthed kiss. A very clear escalation from the last picture.

The room is dead silent. Even Buck’s head is dead silent.

The room is so silent that if the A/C kicked on it would sound like a hurricane touching down.

Honestly, that’s exactly what this feels like to Buck. A hurricane just touched down.

A sudden drop in pressure, a roaring onslaught of rain and wind, ripping everything Buck knew to shreds. Or more accurately, sending it all flying.

All the debris whisked away, the only thing remaining being the foundations. The foundations that Buck already knew were there but refused to examine.

Buck loves Eddie.

Remaining quiet, Eddie slowly drags the pictures out of Buck’s hands and flips to the next picture.

Picture 13.

Eddie’s arms lower down, resting on Buck’s hips. Seemingly keeping Buck pressed against him. One of Buck’s hands on the back of Eddie’s head, resting against the brown locks.

Picture 14.

Eddie’s hands on the lapels of Buck’s blazer. Buck’s hands still in his hair, and tongue has apparently been introduced.

Picture 15.

Eddie pushing the blazer off of Buck, kiss still unbroken.

Picture 16.

Blazer gone, Bucks hands placed on the curve of Eddie’s back. One of Eddie’s hands rested on Buck’s bicep, the other tangled in blonde curls.

Picture 17, the final picture.

The kiss finally breaks, foreheads pressed against each other. Mouths still open. Buck’s hands squeezing Eddie’s ass. Eddie’s hands are in the same place as the last picture.

Eddie sets the pictures down on the coffee table, and leans back against the cushions on the couch. He lays his head flat against the top of the couch and stares at the ceiling.

Buck is still completely frozen, hands white-knuckled from squeezing his own knees so hard.

Seven pictures of him and Eddie making out. That’s all it took to throw Buck over the wall he so precariously built. The wall he was chiseling at, but never applying pressure.

Buck loves Eddie.

And they drunkenly kissed.

And Buck desperately wants to know what it felt like.

He saw what it looked like but even with all efforts to remember it, he couldn't. He wants to know what Eddie’s mouth felt like against his. What he tasted like. What his, honestly, impressive ass felt like.

Buck loves Eddie.

The lingering touches.

The tingles from eye-contact.

The times Eddie got hurt and Buck jumped to help him, forgoing every sense of self-concern.

The feelings that Buck couldn’t place, but now knows is love.

Turns out he did reach for it. Once. Under the guise of alcohol, with no recollection of it.

Suddenly Eddie starts cackling next to him.

“Why are you laughing at this?” Buck asks.

Eddie lifts his head off the couch, wide grin spread across his face as he looks at Buck. “I must’ve really liked the way your butt looked in those pants.”

Buck snorts “Clearly… I think it’s safe to assume it wasn’t a dare.”

“I didn’t think it was in the first place.”

“What did you think it was?”

Eddie shrugs.” I have no idea.”

He knocks his knee against Bucks knee and smugly says “Who do you think kissed who?”

Who do you think kissed who?

That thought hadn’t even occurred to Buck. What if he actually didn’t reach out like he thought.

What if Eddie kissed you?

“You totally kissed me.” Eddie says, at exactly the same time Buck says “It was 100% you.”

“Me?” they both exclaim.

“No Buck I did not kiss you.”

“Well I definitely didn’t kiss you.”

Eddie’s mouth drops open, “Oh you definitely didn’t kiss me? You're the one who has kissed other men before!”

“Oh! Since I’m bi I just go around kissing whoever? For funsies?”

“Well I couldn’t have kissed you” he points to Buck “because I’m” he points to himself “straight!”

“Yeah, that kiss looks pretty straight to me.” Buck gestures to the pictures on the coffee table.

Eddie's shoulders slump and he purses his lips as he looks towards the pictures.

Buck can’t make out the look on Eddie's face, just that he seems confused.

That makes two of us.

Eddie takes a deep breath. “You know what? I can’t even argue that one man. There are 7 pictures of us… making out.” He says the last two words so softly that Buck almost misses them. “I don’t remember this at all.”

Buck shakes his head “I don’t either.”

Trying to replay the events of that night in his head, he can’t even catch a glimpse of the kiss.

Everybody showed up late to the party, and then Chimney didn’t even show so everyone left. Which he knows now is because he was sick with encephalitis. Hen, Karen, Ravi all left. Even Tommy.

Fuck, Tommy!

Buck had completely forgotten that he was with Tommy at the time of this party.

He puts his head in his hands and rubs his forehead “Oh shit, does this mean I technically cheated on Tommy?”

Eddie sighs “Yeah… and I cheated on Marisol. Holy fuck, I cheated on Marisol with two different people.”

Buck picks his head up out of his hands to look over at Eddie who is still looking at the last picture, sitting on the table.

“Really didn’t like her huh?”

The corners of Eddie’s mouth twitched upwards, “I’m so going to hell.”

“For what adultery? You weren’t married to her.”

“She was a nun! I cheated on a nun with a man.”

Buck studies Eddie’s face for a second. “You do know that’s not actually a sin right? Like, that’s not even in the Ten Commandments.”

Eddie’s brows furrow “Cheating is one of the 10 Commandments.”

Buck shakes his head “No Eddie…”

“I mean- I mean being with a man.”

Eddie’s face softens.

The look in his eyes is so… raw? It’s the most open he’s ever seen Eddie look.

“I know. I didn’t… mean it like that.”

Buck knows he didn’t mean it like that. He can’t help but feel like Eddie needed to hear it anyway.

Buck knows Eddie’s relationship with the church and God in general is a complicated one. He’d spent all year last year fighting with himself over it. Especially after his Abuela died. Buck doesn’t know where exactly the Catholic guilt being so nailed into Eddie’s soul began, but he’d bet money it had something to do with his parents.

Eddie always does the things he should do, instead of the things he wants to do. It’s one of the things that made Buck love him so deeply in the first place. Buck loves to give Eddie the things he wants so that he doesn’t have to ask.

“I’m gonna head out I think.” Eddie puts his hand on Buck’s knee and uses it to push himself up to his feet.

“You- you’re gonna head out? Right now?” Now Buck’s even more confused.

Buck follows him to the front door but grabs Eddie’s forearm before he reaches for the door.

When Eddie meets his eyes, Buck notices his trembling chin and the way his arm is slightly shaking in Buck's hand.

“You don’t have to leave. It’s really okay, it was a meaningless drunken kiss. I’ve got a few of those under my belt. It happens.”

Buck was outright lying to try and get Eddie to stay. He knew it wasn’t a meaningless kiss for him. It was the thing that made him realize just how meaningful everything he did for Eddie was. He just wanted Eddie to stay.

Eddie’s jaw clenches and he nods, taking his gaze to the floor. He pulls his arm from Buck's hold and opens the front door.

Buck watches him get halfway to his car before calling out “Wait, Eddie! Please don’t leave!”

Eddie stops, but doesn’t turn around.

“Please just come back in, we don’t have to talk about it. I just want to hang out with my best friend.” He was pleading at this point. “Please, Eddie, it clearly didn’t mean anything. I need us to be okay.”

Eddie calls over his shoulder “We’re okay Buck, I just… want to go sleep in my own bed.” He sounds so defeated. “We’re okay, I promise. I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

Eddie gets in his car and reverses out of the driveway, and Buck watches him drive away.