Archive of Our Own

It didn’t go how Copia had imagined it. Not that he had spent a lot of time envisioning how to properly fuck his twin brother but now, as he was doing it, he would think about soft bedsheets, showing off his skills and putting all his experience into use, until his lover-brother would quiver and shake and beg. Copia wanted to make him come and come until he would have nothing more to give, until pleasure became torturous, until it’s his undoing.

Instead he was being eaten alive.

At least it felt like that. He lost all control the moment he took his twin back into arms. They didn’t even make it to the bed. Copia was pressed against the wall and kissed, kissed and kissed. And it was the strangest making out session in Frater’s life. Teeth clashing with the forceful movements as their lips crushed together, too much tongue, saliva dripping down his chin just to be licked back by his brother, who then sucked it from his mouth like it was a fine wine, relishing every drop. Collar of his now half opened shirt was wet from it. His twin was trying to get his close off, too busy however with humping his tight, pressed between his own legs, and panting into the kisses.

It all should be off putting and awkward.

Instead it was so fucking hot he barely kept his shit together. It was maddening. The desperation and hunger that was just for him, only for him, as his twin kept assuring him in between the kisses, telling him how good he tasted, how fucking sweet his spit was, how he loved the warmth of his skin. Copia lived to satisfy, there was no doubt about it, he took great pride in the way he pleased his lovers (and maybe he was a people pleaser in general). Usually he had to work a bit for it. His brother, though, just enjoyed being with him, worshiping him as he was. Copia didn’t have to do anything, he didn’t get a chance to do anything yet, and his brother was half mad from desire, just from touching him.

Frater didn't dare to process it right now otherwise he might crumble. Instead he tried to be as vicious in his caresses as his twin, returning what he was given.

Copia was yanking his hair, just to keep him close. His brother was whimpering every time he pulled harder, hissing a long ‘yesss’ into his mouth. There was a wet spot in front of his sweatpants, as he was riding his leg. Frater couldn’t take it any longer, he moved hands from his hair, through shoulder blades and lower back, slipping them under the pants waist. He squeezed the firm flesh of his brother's ass with still gloved hands, a black leather digging into the hot skin, as he pulled him hard onto himself.

“Oh, God, yes!” he cried out and Frater really should scold him for this transgression but he was too distracted by the view: his twin's face twisted and then relaxed with sudden ecstasy, tears dropping from his tight shut eyes, open mouth shining with spit. His body went limp, leaning on Copia with full weight. If not for the wall they would end up on the floor because Copia's knees went weak.

So, yeah, he just made his twin come in his pants apparently. This was his life now.

He didn’t have time to contemplate this now. There was a more pressing matter of his own orgasm.

“Mhmmm”, his brother purred into his ear. “I want you to finger me with the gloves still on…”

Copia closed his eyes and breathed in. It took him a moment to remember how to speak.

“Yeah”, he said then. “Everything you want…”

If he would recall in time how to walk they could move into the bedroom. But his twin was faster and determined to give him a heart attack, sliding onto his knees in front of him in the most sinful manner, just as Copia had done so many times on the stage. Did he copy that move from him? Or was he just a natural? Frater didn’t have time to think about it, or anything else for that matter, because his brother unzipped his pants, pulled them down just enough to free his cock. They both moaned, Copia from relief and his brother from hunger, so evident on his face.

“Fuck”, Copia said. “You're starving for it, aren't you?”

“It’s all I can think of,” he admitted. “You smell so good, brother”.

Copia needed to grip his cock at the base and squeeze it to stop himself from coming. The other hand grasped his brother's hair and yanked them, forcing him to look up.

“No teeth,” Copia warned. The raw need in his twin face was killing him.

He nodded, even though moving his head in this position had to be painful. Unexpectedly there was a blush on his cheeks as he lowered his eyes.

“Will you fuck my face?” He asked, almost shy if not for what he was saying. “Make me gag? Choke me with your cock? I want to feel like I’m dying from it.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck”, Copia knew now that he had died and went to hell for it must be a reward for his faithful service. “You can’t just say things like this to a man my age. You will kill me.”

“If you die, I will put the rigor mortis into good use”, his twin promised. “And if you don’t put this cock in my mouth right this second, I will kill you.”

Copia was nothing if not a fast learner and at this point he understood that he can’t deny his brother anything. Not that he wanted to. The thought of feeding his cock to his eager brother was electrifying.

“Open wide and put your tongue out” he ordered. It was intoxicating to see his twin obeying him so keenly. “Hands behind your back.” He yanked his hair a bit more, forcing him to arch his back. “Don’t move now.”

Frater guided his cock on his brother's lips, smearing the precume all over it as it was a papal paint. And the man on his knees was shaking because of it, his body vibrating with need. Copia let him suffer, feel his cock, its warmth and weight on his cheek, slapping him with it just to stop himself from coming immediately. The sounds his brother made alone, spit dripping on his naked chest, was enough to finish him off.

Finally, finally, he positioned the tip of his dick onto his twin’s tongue and watched as he struggled in his grip to move, to take more. Frater chuckled at that, breathlessly. And then he forced it on him, snapping his hips, no warning, sliding deep into his throat. It was hot, sloppy and absolutely perfect. He listened to the gagging noises, admiring how his twin’s body tensed, tears running down his face, his brilliant green eyes shining with them. He held him in place, fingers tangled in his hair, throat clutching on him. Frater cursed and pulled off. He looked at his lover, thumb caressing his cheek, wet from saliva and tears. He bent down and licked a long stripe of this mixture from his face.

“More?” Copia asked just to make sure his brother didn’t change his mind now that he knew what asphyxiation felt like.

The man nodded, mouth still hanging open, eyes glossy.

Still leaned over he gathered saliva and spat into his brother's mouth. Visible shivers ran through him at that, eyes fluttering shut. But he didn’t dare to close his mouth and swallow even though he wanted to.

Copia straightened up and used the grip on his brother's hair to drag him onto his cock, feeding him inch by inch slowly but surely, relishing the tight heat that was clenching around him, trying to deny him entry. He watched as his brother fought his own body to let him slide all the way in. Fuck it, it was the hottest view in his life. The only thing that would make it better would be a papal paint of his twin face, smeared and messy, because he cared more about pleasing him than about anything else.

He was pressing his brother’s head down as far as he could, muffling his breathing, his mewls and his whimpers. His nose pushed flat up against the short curls of Copia’s abdomen. And then he started fucking his face with the ruthless peace because he knew he won’t last long, making him gag. The gurgling sounds were filling the apartment, spite was frothing is corners of his twin mouth, running down, mixing with tears. Copia couldn’t tear his eyes from it, from the blatant worship on his brother's face. His cock hit the back of the throat and then some with every stroke, and his brother struggled to take it, blinking with the pain and discomfort.

“Fuck, you look so good like this,” Copia said. “And you love it, don’t you? I will have to train you, you know. Teach you how to deepthroat…” Every word was punctuated with the harsh thrust of his hips. He was so close now, his movement lost all the rhythm, he was groaning, snapping his hips viciously, right into the tightest, hottest hole he ever was in. "Take it, take it, take it” he mumbled desperately as he came so fast and intense his vision went white.

It was a pleasure like no other, orgasm so long it became hurtful. Copia sobbed, still fucking his brother's mouth with shallow thrusts, chasing the last of it, prolonging the sweet suffering.

When it ended, he would've fallen if not for his brother's arms around his waist, steading him as he slid down along the wall. He would swear the blood in his veins became ticker with the bliss, making it impossible for him to move.

After the longest moment he noticed that his brother was still kneeling, mouth open and now full of come, looking at him expectantly. Oh, fuck, he thought.

“You…” Words didn’t want to come out of him. “You can swallow now. And move. Come here…”

Copia watched as his twin gulped everything he had in mouth and licked his lips after that, with heavy lids and blushing cheeks. Then he crawled and laid next to Frater, placing head on his arm. Frater embraced him not even surprised as he felt a hard erection rubbing on his hips.

“That settles it”, Copia said. “You are the younger one”.

“We are the same age” his twin protested or rather tried to because his throat didn’t work properly after the mistreatment and all that came out of it was a squeak. He looked at Copia as he was to scold him. Frater just smiled.

“A-ha!”, he said. “My evil master plan for keeping you from replacing me had worked! You will not sing ever again!”

That got him another strike in the arm.

“It’s okay, you just need something to drink, a few days of rest maybe…” Copia was mumbling, kissing softly his brother's hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask if I can come in your mouth, I’m so, so sorry, usually my manners are so much better…”

“I would be offended if you didn’t spill in me” his twin rasped. “I want you to always come in me, brother.”

It was physically impossible for Copia to get hard right now. And yet, the last sentence alone was enough for him to become aroused.

“Bed”, he demanded. “We are too old to fool around on the floor.”

“Maybe you”, his twin laughed but helped him to get up.

They had a bathroom break to wash up and they drank wine straight from the bottle, losing the rest of the clothes on their way to the bed. They hold hands, laughing, so happy to be with each other.

“Jesus Christ, you wear more layers than nuns” his twin complained.

“I will put a gag on that dirty mouth of yours,” Copia warned him. “No more of this Christian nonsense now, brother dear.”

He bit his lips.

“Theoretically it counts as invoking the Lord’s name in vain, you know. It is a sin.”

Frater rolled his eyes.

“You will not be pardoned on the technicality” he said. “Cry for Lucifer in your bliss, that pleases Them. That is how we pray.”

His twin got on his knees again, to help him take off the shoes.

“I can say your name,” he said.

Copia closed his eyes as the powerful, unfamiliar feelings washed through him. It wasn’t the first time he felt worshiped. The congregation loved him. They proudly wore his papal paint, screaming his name like he was Lucifer Themselves. But they were not Papa. They were not Emeritus’ bloodline. They were not kin. Not a family.

And this strange man with visions in his head and tears in his eyes, who knelt before him, was all of that. He petted his twin’s curls, now tangled and stuck together from sweat. He finally removed his pants, standing naked, except for the gloves and his brother was looking at him with hunger and reverence. Copia should be afraid of how quickly he was growing attached to his twin. But what choice did he have? His brother bared his soul before him.

“Strip,” Copia said, getting impatient. He understood sex better than anything else. And was better at this than most other things.

His brother obliged, getting up and losing his shoes and sweatpants. Even his underwear was a Ghost merch, and Copia thought it was because he didn’t have any clothes of his own. The Christian Church truly just had thrown him out as he was standing. So he embraced him once more and kissed him, gentle this time, with all the tenderness he felt. “On the bed and spread your legs” he commanded. His twin’s face reddened at that but he did as he was told. And Copia slapped his ass hard when he turned around, making him yelp with surprise.

He shakily got on the bed, looking at him over the shoulder and probably didn’t even know how seductive it was. Frater had to admit he rather liked the sight of his brother among his sheets, flushed with desire and wine. He took a big sip from the bottle as he was searching for the lube in the night stand.

“I assume you have rather… active social life” his brother remarked with a hint of jealousy in his voice as noticed a half empty bottle of lube.

“You would be surprised,” Frater said. “It’s more for the lonely nights when I need a quick stress relief nowadays.” He got on the bed, kneeling between his twin’s legs.

He grabbed his arm and looked at him, eyes wild.

“I can be your stress relief,” he said. “Every time you want. No need for others.”

Yeah, it felt right for them. Frater decided not to dwell on this feeling.

“Good,” Copia heard himself saying. “I don’t want to share you either.”

The smile he got in response was radiant. He feared for his brother, suddenly. His face was too expressive to survive within the Clergy. He leaned down and kissed him more, gently and sweet, like in the chapel, sharing the breath. Then he kissed along his jawline, dragged lips down, on the neck. His brother’s breath hitch, his body shook tenderly with every touch. Copia was glad no paint masked the taste of his skin. It was so warm and addictive, so soft and perfect. He had definitely less chest hair and it was smoother than Copia’s. A stark contrast with the iron grip of his hands on Copia’s arms.

Frater sucked at his brother’s neck then, starting slowly before introducing some teeth, nipping at the sensitive spot below the ear. He relished in the knowledge no one ever touched him like this – with awe he deserved. And he was rewarded with soft groans and gasps for every scratch of teeth. Copia wanted to touch him everywhere, help him learn every pleasure his body is capable of feeling. The very thought he would know it through him, marked by him, was enough to fill him with desire, his cock getting hard again. He was sucking bruise after bruise – on his neck, chest, soft belly, right next to the leaking member. The sight and smell of it made his mouth water. But he knew that if he put his lips around it – just to taste, to tease – it would be over far too soon. And yet, the urge within him was almost animalistic: to taste, to mark, to stake a claim, to take what is rightfully his.

Copia straightened up and admired his work for a moment: purple bruises on pale skin, glistening with saliva, his brother panting and quivering, his face wet from tears.

Thanks to a lot of practice he was able to open the battle of lube with one hand.

“You still want it?” he asked.

“You always ask so many stupid questions?” he brother barked in response. Copia chuckled. They were related, for sure.

“I barely started,” he said, pouring lube onto gloved fingers. He leaned and whispered in his ear. “I could ask: do you crave my touch, brother dear? Deep inside you, in your very core? Are you ready to become known in the most intimate way?”

Copia could feel how his twin’s cheeks become hotter with the sudden blush.

“Oh, my…” his twin evidently bit his tongue. “…Copia” he said instead. “My Copia” he repeated.

They kissed again.

Slicked fingers stroke gently over his entrance, massaging it. He yelped, clinging to the touch, his moves uneven, their mouth clashed and teeth sinking into Copia’s lower lips, drowning blood. Little pain of it was quite nice, rejuvenating even, but the way his brother launched into it, sucking his blood, was what made it for Copia.

He desperately wanted to bleed for his brother. He wished for the ceremonial knife to cut his wrist for him and let him drink from himself. They shared blood anyway. It was his to take.

Cursing into kisses, mouth now full of the taste of the copper, Copia pushed the first finger into his brother.

Who mewled beautifully at it, frantically, worshipfully chanting Copia’s name.

He was tight and tense. Copia leaned sideways and flicked his tongue over a nipple, a body under him jumping at this. When Frater started to move his finger, slowly and surely, his twin was twisting and moving like a possessed. Copia slid his finger in a little deeper as he licked and nipped at the hard bud, drawing out the pleasure out of the body before him until he felt his brother relaxed around it.

Then Copia lifted his leg, throwing it over his shoulder to open him ever more and added a second finger, kissing and licking the inner thigh. He moved his fingers with purpose now, looking for the sensitive spot. His twin threw his arms up as he was surrendering to the overwhelming pleasure. Frater understood the appeal of black leather gloves but he also wished to feel the hot, slick entrance on his own skin. Next time, he promised himself. Because there will be so many more times like this. At this point he knew that it would take the whole raging Clergy to rip him away from his brother.

Two finger where moving in the steady rhythm, stroking now the over the ridged firmness inside of him, which made the man cry out loud and in no time he was coming, untouched, as Copia finger fuck him through it until his moans became painful. He slowly withdrew his fingers then.

His twin was panting like, all sweaty and covered with his own release.

Copia took off his gloves and slid his bare finger through the mess on his brother’s chest. He felt his eyes on himself, as he lifted the fingers to his mouth and licked it clean, savoring the taste.

“You are the devil” his twin said with a broken voice.

Copia smiled at that and leaned down to lick it straight from his skin. Familiar taste filled his mouth, a bit bitter and spicy, almost like when he was with the Ghouls. Had to be the hellish spark within his beautiful prophet. He lapped at it like an animal, given up to the instincts, until he licked up most of the cum from his brother's body.
“You are evil,” his twin said, watching him under the heavy lids. “Would you fuck me now?”

Copia considered it for a moment. It would be delicious to just slide in the wet, open hole in front of him, to fuck the limp body, to use his brother for his pleasure alone. Maybe even force him to come again. His own arousal was evident, dick hard as rock, but then again, Copia knew the pleasure of delayed gratification. And he wanted for their first time to be special, no matter how sappy that sounded.

“I will keep you open for me” he said, a dark promise in his voice. “For your baptism. Make you a sacrificial lamb, screaming in sweet agony on Satan’s altar…Would you like that, my brother?”

His twin looked at him with utter shock, eyes wide open, and nodded, movement barely noticeable.

“What about it then?” he asked, looking at his erection.

Copia shrugged.

“It’s fine. I won’t die from it, I promise. Besides, simultaneous orgasms are the ambition of people much younger than us.”

“I want to please you…” his twin started but Copia took none of it.

“You did. Greatly” he assured him. “Now we both need a bit of sleep. And snacks. Trust your elders and roll over.”

Frater was so grateful for a bed big enough to fit all the Ghouls so now they could just move under the covers without wet spots. He lied down and his twin was in his arms in no time, sighting with relief as they embraced.

It was where he belonged.

Copia was asleep before the magnitude of what they had done truly hit him.

***

He woke up from a restless sleep, shivering in cold sweat. His heart was pounding in his chest, so loud it was a miracle it didn’t wake up his brother too.

His brother.

Who was lying, naked, back to him, snoring lightly.

He had sex with his brother.

The very thought of it made him dizzy, like he was about to faint. Then nausea came. He barely had time to scrape himself out from the covers and run to the bathroom. What he had done, what he had done, what he had done… It was like a blow, a memory of every gesture, caress, kiss, taste, smell, everything they did, drowning him in sin and disgust. He stumbled, fell on the cold floor and crawled into the shower, vomiting at it and himself. The sour taste of wine and bitterness of his stomach’s fluids were physically painful. He was throwing out the wine and cum, and there was a part of him that relished in the thought it was his brother come that filled him, like it was supposed to be his daily bread for now on. And he hated that part of himself. This is what he should carve out, this shameful desire for which he was ready to humiliate and degrade himself as the debauchery was as sweet for him as the rapture.

“Oh, God” he cried as he turned on the water in the shower, hot enough to hurt, as he deserved, hoping it would burn out the phantom touches from his skin. His tears mixed with burning hot water. He laid down with a man. He laid down with the devil. He laid down with his own brother, acting like a whore for his cock, begging for it, craving it even now, the thought of it as repulsive as enticing.

He slapped himself across the face. Hard enough for his teeth to shatter. And again. And again, and again, and again, crying from the pain of it as well as the disgust. The Church was right, he was damned from the start, God could not want him and he was to burn in hell for all eternity just for this one night. He cried so hard it caused another wave of nausea, his body convulsing painfully as he had no more inside him to throw out.

“Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificétur nomen tuum; adveníat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra…” he was chanting in between hiccups and cries. It was a scream into a void, he knew that. God wouldn’t hear him, won’t save him, because he was not worthy of it. “… et dimítte nobis débita nostra, sicut et nos dimíttimus debitóribus nostris” he cried more because there were nothing else he could do. No salvation, no forgiveness as he didn’t deserve it.

Running water muffled his cries of pain and shame. He lied down there, suffering and hoping to die.

***

Copia woke up to the sound of the shower, stretching and already missing his brother’s body next to him. His body ached in the best possible way. If he was being honest, it was the best he felt from months. Joining him in the bath seemed like a good idea. It was strange to admit how much he needed his twin now.

He didn’t expect the sight he found in the bathroom.

The bathroom was full of steam, air hot and damp, moisture collecting on the walls. The shower water had to be hot as hell and his brother was on his fours in there, skin awfully red, burned. He was crying and saying something through it.

“…Sancta Maria, Sancti Cordis Jesu fidelissima serva, ora pro nobis… Sancta Maria, Sacratissimi Cordis Jesu prophananda exemplar, ora pro nobis… Sancta Maria, Sancti Cordis Jesu prophananda spes, ora pro nobis…” he was praying, despair in his voice, his body moving strangely, his back rising and falling with every verse and Copia had a sudden realization it was a muscle memory: his body moving as he was flogging himself, receiving flagellation as a penitence.

Frater’s heart shrunk painfully.

“Oh no, no, no no…” he whispered as he stepped up and turned off the water. He took the towel and started gently drying his brother, carefully to not irritate the burned skin. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault…”. It was. He was too greedy, he took too much, too fast. He should have predicted this would happen.

His twin shook his head and flinched under his touch. Copia took his hands away but didn’t step back.

“It’s all right” he started again. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all on me, blame me if you have to” he bagged, his heart bleeding out, tears in his voice. He didn’t know what to do. It was beyond him. There were professionals within the Church, therapists trained to help people who relapsed into the guilt and pain induced by their previous beliefs. He should get one now.

“Please, don’t hurt yourself,” Copia said. “I will get help.”

“Don’t leave me!” his twin launched towards him but still didn’t touch him.

“I won't,” Copia assured him. “I will send Ghoul then…”

“No! Don’t let them see me!”

Frater knew that asking what his brother wanted right now wasn’t the best idea because what he wanted and what he needed were two very different things. But Copia was so afraid he would screw up even more.

And he was sure the Clergy would kill him now. And they would be right to do so.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” he cried. “I’m so sorry I did.”

His twin looked at him, wet curls falling on his face.

“You… Why… you… so nice…?” he asked with chattering teeth.

“You deserve all the kindness in the world, love,” Copia said softly. “You did nothing wrong. I’m sorry I wanted you too much to be restrained.”

“You… still… want… me…?”

The disbelief in his voice, the distrust, the contempt toward himself beneath it all, that was like a punch in the face for Copia.

“I will always want to,” he admitted. “In every way you will let me.”

His brother mumbled something inaudible.

Copia moved closer.

“Is it okay if I touch you?” he asked. “To dry you up.”

There was no response for a long time. And then a shallow nod.

So Frater knelt closer, took the towel and started to wipe the quivering body.

The silence between them was painful. Copia still didn’t know what to say so he started humming instead, something like a lullaby but quickly changing into a well-known melody.

We're here in the after of a murderous crafter
The past is spun like a yarn and mangled
With flesh and blood and bones, I wonder
Did no one hear the distant thunder

He sang and it calmed down his own beating heart. He didn’t know why he chose that song but it seemed fitting. And his brother started to relax too, he breathed evenly, stopped shaking. He was still tense, but as Copia was wrapping a towel around his arm, he put hand on his and squeezed it tight.

We will break away together
I'll be the shadow
You'll be the light

Copia continued to sing, feeling every word anew because they got a new meaning now, with his brother at his side. Maybe he sang for him for a very long time, just didn’t know about it until today. Maybe they were moving around the void that was the absence of a missed twin their whole lives without realizing it. Maybe now they could make each other whole.