Chapter Text
"Mosaiko Suzuki," Cloudia scowled, "I have a... grim reaper kind of role in this world, and she just so happens to be my target."
"Womp womp." Sheldon said. If you haven't noticed already, the story now has a new name. Yes, we went from 'Young Sheldon ahh story' to 'Young Helldon'. Yippee!
Anyways, Sheldon, Seamus and Arthur then heard a knock on the other window.
Two guests at once? That is fucking crazy.
Sheldon was not used to having friends. He had lost his friendship with the college janitor after informing the poor man about how stupid the fellow was. "That's why you're a janitor!" Sheldon had told him.
He grimaced at the memory. Anyways, it turned out that behind the window was not another friend, but rather the dreaded SOUICHI.
"What do you want?" Sheldon rolled his eyes.
Souichi attempted to climb through the window, and fell, damaging his tail bone. "O-OWWW!!" Souichi yelled. "C-CURSE ON YOU!" "Bro did you just curse my fucking window bruh..." Sheldon frowned as Seamus laughed politely.
"Shut the fuck up, Seamus, this is why your father left you and died." Arthur smiled, as Seamus began to cry.
.. his goal...
it had been... .. .
.. fulfilled...
Arthur then transformed into a magical girl, causing Sheldon to panic, and have a seizure due to his magical girl epilepsy. "Oh- fuck-!" Seamus lowered his head, "he- he's gonna die!"
"No, I can-" Cloudia moved quickly through her window, into the bedroom, nearly knocking over the train set. "Be...... s-sjjabxjajcbbabGAHAHHHHxhabbsHSBSBABABAB... carefullllll!!!" Sheldon yelled, mid seizure.
Cloudia put a pillow under Sheldon's head, then, using her ghostly abilities, calmed Sheldon's body of any past misfortune...
Sheldon was deceased.
Drifting....
drifting.....
In this world of nothingness...
Pure..
Peace....
Oh, the love he feels for all at this micro-instant...
oh,, the unity of the universe, becoming one with him..
It's almost like...
He's a God of some sort...
Who cares about unified field theory... ?
The universe...
oh, he knows everything now...
he...
he is-
he is-...!!
Sheldon woke up to the bright blaring of the sky. "Lil bro, you good?" Arthur's ghost asked.
"I... saw..." Sheldon began crying.
He wants to go back! What misfortune brought him here? Back to the land of the living? Sheldon wiped his tears after a few minutes. "I killed you to rid you of your magical girl seizure." Cloudia said.
"Can you do it again?" Sheldon sniffed.
"What do you mean?" Cloudia was both confused and shocked.
"Kill me... I can't live with the possibility of Type 200 Diabetes anymore... in fact..."
I can't live!
Cloudia lowered her head. The boy had guts, that's for sure...(but not balls, they haven't descended yet)
"If... if you help me kill Mosaiko-chan.... death and forevermore peace is all yours..." Cloudia smiled.
Sheldon giggled. He was going back! This was so exciting!
"What, am I going to be ignored?" Souichi frowned. "I was gonna ask for Hanamu-"
"SHUT UP, THIS IS WHOLESOME!" Seamus pouted, a bit mad at Souichi for ruining the moment. "Jesus Christ, you occult loving fucktard do you ever shut the fuck up, like god damn." Arthur was beyond annoyed at this point.
Later, Cloudia stalked Mosaiko. "I have to admit, I've been having some... difficulties with this target. She's... she's just... ugh." Cloudia scoffed.
Cloudia wriggles her fingers. They were grey, and skinny; only bones to say the least. It was a disturbing sight, especially after figuring out what those hands could do... which was what Sheldon and Seamus were about to witness.
KKKKKRKKKRRRRRRRRRRRKRKKKKK-!!
I'm not going to describe the sight. Don't be the kid who asked, please bro. One thing for sure, was that the bruised and bloodied Mosaiko had broken one of Cloudia's undead fingers. "IT FUCKING HURTSSSSSSS!!" Cloudia shrieked. Despite being a death god, she was quite intolerant to pain.
Mosaiko then, with a swift movement, summoned the ghost of her dead okasan, of whom was a deformed being, with the mask of (I am so fucking sorry, I do not remember the name of that Japanese monster). Sheldon, shocked, left his post, of which he was supposed to distract Mosaiko-chan from. He ran off, into the woods. The sight leaving him with nuclear bomb shaped cataracts.
Sheldon felt like the Flash, running, leaping over rocks. That's when he bumped into a tree. The sheer speed Sheldon had picked up was enough to knock the damn thing to the ground. "Uhhhh-" Sheldon paused
"I AM THE LORAX. I SPEAK FOR THE TREES." said a voice from up above.
There, with a divinity so powerful, it was eye-watering..
THE LORAX.
He hovered down from the heavens up above, and upon landing...
SMACKED SHELDON COOPER RIGHT ACROSS THE MOTHER FUCKING HEAD! "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!!!?!???" the Lorax shouted. "I'm sorry sir- I, I-" Sheldon cried.
"Hey what are you doing to my friend!?" Seamus ran over to them, fully prepared to enter a 'Silent Voice' bitch slap-down.
"'Friend'?" Sheldon cringed, "oh just kill me already."
"Sorry, but no can do." Cloudia then walked up from behind a living tree, with green leaves and brown bark. "You abandoned your fucking post. If this were the army, they'd have sent you're smart ass to jail."
"What are you gonna do, kill me?" Sheldon said, cringing at the grammatically incorrect use of "you're" instead of "your".
"I AM." the Lorax hovered. "No, mister Lorax. As a fellow Youkai yourself, you should understand punishment. And punishment for this little child here is immortality." Cloudia said.
"Oh." the Lorax stepped back to the ground, each movement seeping with an undefiable grace.
"Actually, would it not be contracting Type 200 Diabetes of the left knee cap?" Seamus asked, cutely. "WAIT-" interrupted Cloudia, "before you make any decisions, Lorax-san... you must remember..."
"IT'S THE SUSPENSE THAT COUNTS, LEAH!"
Yeah, I broke the fourth wall. So what?
"Oh, blah blah blah, can we just go?" Souichi grumbled. "BITCH SINCE WHEN WERE YOU HERE!!!???" Cloudia screamed, pissed at the occult loving child. She hates that boy so much right now it's fucking insane.
"GET OUT BEFORE I WHOP YOUR SORRY HO ASS BACK TO LAST YEAR!!!!!" Cloudia screamed, stealing a South Park line from Wendy Testaburger.
"Stay away from my lines bitch, or I'll whop your sorry ho ass back to last year..." Wendy grumbled HER line.
Arriving home, Seamus announced, "We almost killed a child, of whom beat up our ghost pal (not Arthur this time), and then the little girl called her dead mommy on us!" Seamus smiled.
"It's like the one day I fucking miss school, even though I've never gone." Arthur groaned.
"Oh, that's not all," Seamus grinned, nearly forgetting his fathers misfortune, "and then out of fear, Sheldon rammed into a tree, and the Lorax came, and decided that a proper punishment for Sheldon would be Type 200 Diabetes of the left knee cap! But then, I decided that suspense is the best punishment!"
"So?" Arthur asked, now curious at the mention of Type 200 Diabetes of the left knee cap, "does Sheldon have Type 200 Diabetes of the left kneecap?"
"We don't know! That's the joy of suspense for you!" Seamus smiled.