Chapter Text
It was still dark when Tobirama woke. He yawned and stretched, the tips of his toes peeking out the thick blanket. Kagami, having fallen asleep straight after dinner, moaned next to him and tried to cuddle closer to his warmth. A gentle smile spread on Tobirama’s face and he brushed the curls away from the small frown. He carefully pushed a pillow for him to hug in his stead, hoping the child wouldn’t wake as Tobirama slipped out. As Kagami rolled over, curling under the covers with the pillow in his arms, Tobirama knew he was successful.
He took out his outfit for the day, deciding on grabbing his fur with him. It was getting cold and he didn’t want to keep shivering the hours away. As he slid his pants on, he couldn’t help following the red lines painting Amaterasu’s symbol all over his back. They were just as dark as they had been the day he had met her and this whole mess had started. He reached and trailed the tomoe near his left shoulder.
It had been scratched during yesterday’s spar with Madara. Yet it was just as pristine as ever after Tobirama has scrubbed the blood off.
He turned his eyes away and pulled the rest of his outfit on.
These past days had made it clear Amaterasu hadn’t meant to share what she had with him. He had known it deep down, even during his screaming fit, but his hurt and fears hadn’t left a single rational thought to surface. The goddess had never lied to him after all; she took pride in her honesty, even when it turned out she had been wrong. She was different than she was all those months ago.
Tobirama still couldn’t find it in himself to completely forgive her.
He walked through the familiar hallways towards the kitchen. Barely anyone was awake at this hour. He could feel Madara and Izuna sleep yesterday’s exhaustion off and Touka, who had had a guard shift that night, was just settling down herself. Tobirama spread his senses, taking in the quiet peace around the Senju compound. No one, not a single Senju nor Uchiha, were at each other’s throats, all taking this chance to enjoy the calm before the storm.
And above the compound, the invisible Sun watched over them. Their grief, regret, tangled until Tobirama was barely able to sense the connection that had started forming anew between them. He hurriedly cut the link and flinched as the pain snapped at him, taking a single calming breath to steady himself. It wavered, just as his will did.
He leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. The point is not to hurt either of us, Madara had said yesterday. They were wise words that Tobirama wished he could follow. He felt empty without Amaterasu; so used to her constant presence was he by now that being alone with his thoughts spiralled him deeper into uncertainty. He didn’t want the distance, but he couldn’t cross it either.
He was pathetic, he thought.
“Tobirama?” the only other person awake called. Tobirama opened his eyes to see worried, warm browns meet the red that was now his own colour. They used the share the eyes, Tobirama thought, all four of them. In certain light he could still pretend the blood was more muddled than it really was.
“Hashirama,” he greeted back. His brother, the only one left, gave him a smile that tugged at the strings strangling him, giving him space to breathe.
“I made tea. Would you like a cup?” Hashirama raised the cup in his hand. “It’s just the temperature you like.”
“I wouldn’t mind having one.”
“Great!”
Hashirama then bustled closer, pulling Tobirama towards the kitchen and into a seat. He set his own cup down to fetch Tobirama another one, filling it with what smelled like one of the blends their mother had favoured; of jasmine and ginger, of simpler times. As Tobirama took a sip, there was something nostalgic and soothing about it. His brother hadn’t lied when he said the temperature was perfect either.
A small plate of senbei was pushed towards him too. It was too early for breakfast, not when most would still be asleep for at least an hour or so. But after another insistent encouragement, Tobirama took one to nibble on while he enjoyed the taste of their childhood.
They sat in silence, both lost in their thoughts. Hashirama hummed, distracted, as he held his cup between his hands, rolling it left and right in slow, easy patterns. Tobirama watched the movement lazily, keeping count of the small, silvery scars littering his brother’s tanned skin. While mokuton kept Hashirama healthy and healed of his hurts faster than any regular shinobi, it didn’t stop him from having scars of his own. Rather, it even encouraged them because Hashirama had always been headstrong and running first in danger, just so no one else with weaker constitution had to.
Tobirama wondered how many of them were made by Madara. If there was one person who had a chance of cutting Hashirama down, it was him. Thankfully, with the ceasefire…
“So…” Hashirama said. He waited until Tobirama raised his eyes to meet his before continuing. “You and Madara?”
Tobirama was suddenly glad he hadn’t taken another sip yet. He lay the cup down on the table, just in case, placing his half-eaten senbei over it.
“What about Madara and I?” he asked.
“Do you love him?” Hashirama asked. The question took Tobirama back and his denial was immediate on his tongue before Hashirama shook his head and amended, “No, wait, no. Of course you don’t. You wouldn’t fall that quick.” Yet Tobirama felt his discomfort grow with Hashirama’s far too knowing eyes settling on him. “But you could… couldn’t you?”
“I—” Tobirama coughed but still felt heat reach the tip of his ears. “Hashirama, it’s—”
“No matter what happens, I want you to know that your happiness is important to me.” Hashirama reached over and laced his and Tobirama’s fingers together. “You are my little brother, Tobirama. Whether you find it in another person or not, that is for you to decide. But—” Hashirama hesitated. Tobirama squeezed his fingers in reassurance. “Please, take your time. I don’t want either of you hurt.”
“You don’t really beat around the bush, do you?” Tobirama murmured. Fingers brushed over his knuckles gently.
“You found comfort in him, more so than with me.” When Tobirama attempted to deny that, Hashirama raised his other hand to stop him. “No, please, let me finish. It’s fine. I understand. You two have gone through things together when I wasn’t there for you. And then with everything else happening, I don’t begrudge you two for finding each other. How could I?”
Hashirama’s smile gentled. “Two of my favourite people, finding comfort, kindness, love, where there hadn’t been soil for those to grow before. I was worried when all you could focus on was me and our clan, pushing our happiness over yours. And while that might seem distant for now, I want you to focus on yours too.”
Tobirama swallowed but the lump in it wouldn’t go down. He looked back down to their linked hands, trailing the lines there with his free one. “You say that as if I have the chance of that. As if losing all I love…” he trailed off. Hashirama tightened his hold, bringing his left hand forth to hide Tobirama’s between both of his.
“You will,” Hashirama said, the certainty in it grounding Tobirama. “I will allow for nothing else.”
“You can’t do that.”
“Watch me.”
A chuckle escaped Tobirama, bringing back memories of a night when— “Madara said the same,” he murmured.
“It’s the older brother wisdom,” Hashirama said sagely. Tobirama snorted.
“The what now?”
“It’s the few extra years we have that make us wiser than our smarty-pants little brothers,” his brother teased, squeezing Tobirama’s hands one more time. “Listen to your elders.”
“We have less than three years between us,” Tobirama protested.
“Enough for a lifetime!” The levity Hashirama had brought in didn’t leave even when his gaze sharpened. “So let us worry about your situation together. You are not alone and will not be alone. This I promise, as both your brother and clan head. You are my responsibility, Tobirama, until the day we both enter the Pure Lands.”
“…Let’s not rush that then.” Tobirama took hold of his tea, drinking the now cooled-down liquid. “We still have your village to create.”
“Our village.” Hashirama refilled Tobirama’s cup and his own. The steam that rose tickled his nose. “It was always for you.”
“I—” Tobirama’s breath hitched. His voice was thick when he continued, “I love you, anija.”
“And I love you.”
They sat in silence until the they felt the other residents finally wake. Moving as one, they brought out dishes and ingredients, making quick work of setting up breakfast for the five of them and one set for Touka whenever she awoke.
Soon there were more people in the kitchen than they were used to. For years it had been just the two of them, perhaps with Touka joining them whenever she wasn’t at hers. But now, in between Kagami’s sleepy ‘morning’ as he came down to hug Tobirama, Izuna’s lazy swipe of Tobirama’s teacup, and Madara’s soft dark gaze that followed him around, Tobirama found himself settling in a way he never had been able to under Butsuma’s rule.
Yet, it wasn’t perfect.
With the first rays of the morning, Tobirama looked out the window to meet them head on.
Perhaps today, he could be brave.
***
“Remember, your chakra reserves are still only two-thirds ready,” Tobirama told Hashirama as he straightened his brother’s haori, making sure there were no wrinkles to be seen. “You can check on the protections, but no adding more, hear me?”
“Yes, yes,” Hashirama said, leaning over to give Tobirama a bone-crushing hug, instantly making Tobirama’s efforts futile. “I’ll be good. I have to be in top shape to be there to defend you tomorrow, yes?”
“Hashirama—” Tobirama growled. His brother just laughed, gave him another quick squeeze, before he left with Uzumaki Mako. With the way she had continued to help their efforts, the Senju were more in debt to Mito’s cousin and the Uzumaki as a whole than even before. Even now they were going to make rounds within the Senju, seeking out last-minute dissent and giving encouragements to those in need.
They might have to revise the betrothal agreement if only to reward Mako without her being able to dismiss it outright. It might even tie their clans together even tighter and build a bond to last generations more than just the upcoming marriage.
“He is in a good mood,” Madara pointed out. Tobirama sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“If only he took care of his appearance like the clan head he’s supposed to be.”
Even Izuna had more class than Hashirama. By now his former rival had already left with Kotori to gather their people since they did like discussing in larger crowds.
“He wouldn’t be Hashirama if he cared about little things like that.”
“I know.” A particularly bright beam hit Tobirama’s eyes past the clouds and he had to blink several times, shielding them, to be able to refocus. “I can still hope.”
Madara chuckled and the sound sent pleasant shivers down Tobirama’s spine. He refused to blush, despite memories of yesterday assaulting him. To distract himself, he blurted out, “Shouldn’t you be meeting with your clan soon too?”
Madara closed his eyes and Tobirama felt the hearth-warm chakra spread, curling around his own as it roamed over the compound. “I still have time; they are only halfway there.”
“Maybe they’d be there faster if they knew their clan head was waiting.”
Madara snorted, opening his eyes and meeting Tobirama’s. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”
“And what gave you that idea?”
Another laugh, another stupid tingle trailing Tobirama’s spine.
“What if I just wanted to spend one moment with just us two?”
“You are a fucking sap,” Tobirama said before he could catch himself. His eyes widened as he slapped a hand over his mouth. Madara stared at him, eyes just as wide, before they crinkled and he peeled into a roaring laugh that echoed in the morning silence. A few passers-by looked in their direction in confusion, only seeing a beet-red Senju heir and helplessly cackling Uchiha clan head stand in the heart of the Senju compound. “Stop it!” Tobirama hastily chastised. “It wasn’t that funny!”
“You face!” Madara chortled. “You looked like a started winter rabbit!”
“Idiot!” Tobirama hissed. He felt overheated despite the nip in the air. “I don’t know why I entertain you or Hashirama. You two deserve each other!” He stomped away, or tried to, before his middle was caught by strong arms. The Uchiha behind him still shook albeit less so than a minute ago. Tobirama whacked the arms. “Let me go!”
“I love you,” Madara breathed easily into his ear and Tobirama stood ramrod straight as the words dug deep into his core. While he was used to Hashirama’s easy declarations, the way Madara said it made his heart drum painfully in his chest; too fast and too loud for comfort. He slapped the arms again, weaker this time, but Madara still let him go.
Tobirama couldn’t force him to turn around, overwhelmed by his body’s reaction. “Idiot,” he repeated. “Go see to your clan.”
“Will I see you in the evening?” Madara inquired. He didn’t move from his spot behind Tobirama, still close but not touching. “I would like to spend a moment with you before tomorrow.”
“…Yes.” Tobirama said after struggling to get the words out. He would have to endure much teasing for it but he would make time for Madara. “I’ll meet with you after dinner.”
“Then I’ll see you later.” Madara started gathering chakra to boost himself up to the roofs and Tobirama blurted out before he left:
“H-Have a good day!”
Madara didn’t comment on the odd stutter, but Tobirama could hear the smile when he replied, “Hope you have an even better one.”
And then he was gone, leaving Tobirama standing in his place, feeling absolutely ridiculous.
“’Have a good day’?” he muttered to himself, slapping his forehead. “Tobirama, you fucking idiot.”
“Language!” chirped Kagami behind him. Tobirama actually startled, blinking rapidly as the kid peeked at him. “Whoa, you are red!” he exclaimed. “Are you sick? D’ya want me to find Hashirama-san?”
Just thinking about getting Hashirama’s feelings cried on him in addition to his own gave him hives.
“I’m fine,” Tobirama said, willing his heart to slow. Taking a deep breath, he smiled down at the child. “Want to get going?”
“Uh, sure,” Kagami said. He hopped two easy steps to keep up with Tobirama as they started moving. “Where are we going?”
Tobirama took note of the rising sun and where he could feel the rays condense.
“To have a much-needed talk.”
***
Except they didn’t. Because Amaterasu was nowhere to be found. Not long after Tobirama and Kagami started their trek, she disappeared from Tobirama’s radar. Or, rather, she moved around so fast that they couldn’t catch up to her. Not that they weren’t being distracted anyway; Kikyo passed by them to have a brief talk about the Uchiha’s living arrangements—very politely, even if her spine was stiff and walking even more so as she was surrounded by Senju. Her only companion was Madara’s uncle, Kensuke, and he kept a respectful distance while they talked.
“…with the situation being what it is, I’d prefer if you could arrange some comforts for the children,” Kikyo said. She sighed heavily. “I apologise for focusing on my own clan and not being of help with your war efforts; I am but an old woman past my prime, more used to the pen than the sword today.”
“It is understandable,” Tobirama replied. “Much of your efforts while at the Uchiha compound has yielded us positive results. Thank you for allowing us take much of your clan head and clan heir’s attention. I understand it is not easy nor comfortable for your clan but they have been a tremendous help along with your shinobi.”
“Thank you for your kind words.” Kikyo bowed, showing her respects, which Tobirama returned in kind. His ears picked up a hushed whisper spread but it was not one he thankfully needed to worry about right now, more curious than hostile in tone.
“If you like, we can settle the topic now. While I cannot make the trip myself, I can send a clone of mine to accompany you to visit one of our seamstresses, Senju Nadeshiko-san. She takes pride in children’s clothing and her son husband is a talented carpenter.”
“That… would be very kind, Senju-sama.” Kikyo bowed again. “Our children would appreciate the new clothing and whatever toys you could spare. It would ease the tension tomorrow will bring us all.”
“Then let’s not waste more time.” Tobirama made the sign and with a puff of smoke a clone of himself appeared next to him. The clone inclined his head and offered his arm for the Uchiha Elder. Kikyo hesitated barely a fraction of a second before taking it, thanking Tobirama once more as they left towards the traders. Kensuke bowed to Tobirama as well after which he returned to his guard duty.
Kagami, having stood quietly the whole exchange, almost vibrated out of his own skin. “Sakie-chan would love a new doll! Do they have dolls? She likes them soft more but wooden ones are cool too!”
Tobirama nodded. “They have both. Nadeshiko-san, after having her children, turned more towards toymaking as her trade with her husband following in suit. Their toys are well-loved within the Senju.”
“I’m glad. She forgot hers home when we packed. She was very sad about it.”
“Has she recovered well from her illness?”
“She’s better! She’s taken a few steps outside already even if she tires quick!” Kagami hugged Tobirama’s arm. “Is Amaterasu-sama here soon?”
“We seem to be missing each other,” Tobirama replied. As he said that, she flitted between the compound and the surrounding forest again. He sighed. He hadn’t wanted to resort to his, uncomfortable as it was, but—
‘Amaterasu’, he called within his mind, opening himself towards the goddess again. He could feel her presence freeze somewhere between elation and fear, the latter of which confused him. For some reason, she seemed to be more afraid of him than he was of her. It made no sense to Tobirama.
Yes, Tobirama? she asked after a beat. Do you—can I—what do you need?
‘We need to have a… long overdue talk.’ A cringe echoed somewhere between their bond although, if it was caused by him or her, he wasn’t completely sure. ‘Do you think you could come to meet with me?’
I—yes, of course, Amaterasu instantly replied. Then she hesitated.
‘What is it?’ Tobirama asked.
…I would like to finish with today’s patrol first if possible. It… would reassure me having ascertained our position for tomorrow.
‘Izuna did mention they have had an easier time finding seals and traps than they had expected. Was it you?’
A bubble of nervousness and pride floated in his mind. Yes. I wanted to make sure everyone was doing their duty, myself included.
Tobirama appreciated it; anything to keep his people safe, regardless of clan or status. The bubble burst, hinting of joy.
‘Then find me when you are ready. Thank you for your service.’
I will, Amaterasu promised. Tobirama felt a light brush against the spot their beings were linked. Thank you for yours.
She let their connection fade back to the quiet thrum, no longer blocked. Her presence flitted faster within the forest, her endeavours invigorated.
“So?” Kagami asked. He played with Tobirama’s fingers, twisting them in ways that, had he not been a shinobi and stretched them daily, his joints would have protested.
“She is busy right now.” And idea popped in his head and he kneaded his chakra, finding the signatures he was looking for. Perfect. “But Akane and Hisao are not as much. Do you want to head over?”
Kagami’s delighted grin was enough of an answer.
***
“Kagami!” Akane yelled. She waddled with a heavy bucket of water half her size, admirably not spilling a drop over the rim. “What are you doing here?”
“Tobirama-san told me you weren’t busy!” Kagami replied. He tilted his head and then stared up at Tobirama with a pout. “But I think he lied.”
“I said, and I quote, ‘as much’. I didn’t say they were completely free.” At Kagami’s betrayed look, he nudged the child forward. “But they could be if you help them. Are you helping out Hideki?”
“Yeah, he’s been away a lot so Miyu-san asked Hisao and me to help,” Akane announced. She grinned at Kagami, eyes lighting up. “If we are done before lunch, we could head out! I think mom and Miyu-san wouldn’t mind.”
“Yeah!” Kagami scrambled up to Akane, steadying her burden when the bucket wobbled. “Then we could play a bit! Tobirama-san showed me how to walk on trees with chakra! Can you do that?”
“Of course!” Akane claimed but another voice piped up from inside, “But not as well as me!”
“Hisao!” Akane growled. A Senju boy peeked from the doorway, mischievous grin spread on his face.
“What, hit a sore spot?”
“I’ll drown you!”
“You can’t even pull me under the ground!” Hisao then turned to Kagami and he pointed his mop at him. “Is this the one you told me about earlier?”
“Yeah!” Akane said. They finally arrived by the doorway and set down the bucket. “Kagami, this is Hisao. Hisao, Kagami. He told Togashi-sama off and it was amazing!”
Kagami grinned at the praise and held his hand out for Hisao. Hisao glanced at Tobirama who inclined his head subtly. The Senju boy then grinned and grabbed Kagami’s hand and shook it with vigour. “Awesome! I still need to finish cleaning the floors but after that and the windows, I think we are done!”
“Hideki-san finished the rest already?” Akane asked.
“Yeah, he’s taking the trash out right now.”
“Then…!” Akane glimpsed at Tobirama, her eyes widening. “Tobirama-sensei, do you think…?” She gestured at the bucket of water. Tobirama snorted.
“The water techniques I know are made for battle, Akane,” he said dryly. “I don’t think the floor would survive that fight.”
“Aww,” both Akane and Hisao whined. Kagami peeked inside, taking in the size of the house.
“Do you have more than one mop?” he asked. “With two or three people, we could do it in shorter time!”
“We have two!” Hisao said, cheering up, while Akane announced, “I have one at home! Just a minute!”, and dashed off to a house just down the road.
Tobirama watched over as Hisao and Kagami started with the living quarters and Akane speed-mopped the kitchen area when she returned. They were halfway done when Tobirama felt Hideki land behind him.
“Tobirama-sama,” Hideki greeted him before stopping, blinking at the three children demolishing the cleaning business. “Since when—” he trailed off.
“Kagami and I had a moment to spare,” Tobirama explained. “He expressed interest in meeting Hisao after being introduced to Akane yesterday. I hope you don’t mind.”
Hideki snorted, scratching the back off his head. “Whatever gets the house cleaner faster is good in my books. The more time I have to eat lunch before my shift starts, the better.”
“I thought so.”
The two watched as the children chatted and mopped, once even starting a duel, until it threatened to spill dirty water onto the just-washed floors and undo their whole work. At that point, Tobirama pulled a strand of water and flicked it at the grinning children.
He may have lied a little about his techniques. Not that any of them brought it up after Tobirama gave them one single look that flitted from them to the wobbling bucket.
“Sorry,” all three chorused, and finished off with a flourish of twirling mops.
To make it faster, Tobirama did deal with the dirt water. It wasn’t long until both the floors and the windows were spotless and the children were sweaty yet still full of energy.
“Freedom!” Hisao cheered. Hideki smiled and ruffled his hair, making the child squawk. “Brother, stop!”
“What’s going on here?”
Tobirama, having sensed the approach, offered an explanation over the startled teen and kids. “The children and Hideki just finished with the house and I thought I would offer to pay for their lunch as they did their chores admirably.” He turned to see a fuming Senju Haruto stare at Kagami, and Akane’s mother, Chizuru, smile gently at them all. Miyu, Hisao and Hideki’s mother, bustled past them to admire her now immaculate home.
“What a great job you have done!” she exclaimed and pulled Hisao into a squeezing hug. He made a similar sound as before, a helpless cry for help, before she moved to her other son. “My, I should leave you in charge more often! You’ll make a great husband to a lucky lady soon!”
“Mom!” Hideki groaned, pulling a laugh from Chizuru and Miyu both. Akane, Tobirama took notice, flushed slightly as she glanced towards the older teen.
“What I would like to know is what that thing is doing here,” Haruto growled. He was still directly staring at Kagami and Tobirama instinctively moved to stand closer to the child, a tall shadow watching over the interaction. When Haruto noticed his proximity, he turned his dark eyes on him, a challenge lit on them.
“Kagami-kun is a guest who is accompanying myself today.” Tobirama bored into Haruto, daring him to say anything more. “He graciously decided to help his new friends so they could finish faster.”
“Friends?!” Haruto spluttered. Then he noticed the mop Kagami was holding. “Is that our—?"
He wasn’t allowed to even finish before Chizuru pushed past him, efficiently cutting him off. Kagami took a small step back when she kneeled in front of him, taking comfort that Tobirama was standing just behind him. She smiled at him, dimples showing. “Tobirama-sama said you helped Akane and the boys, didn’t you?”
“Uh-huh,” Kagami nodded. “We cleaned the floors and windows, ma’am.” He shuffled on his feet and then offered the mop to her. “This yours?”
“Why, yes, it is! Thank you for holding it for us.” Chizuru took the mop, holding it by her right hand. The left one moved towards Kagami, slowly, projecting the movement so he could avoid it if he wanted. He squirmed a little but since Tobirama sensed no hostility and didn’t react, neither did he. Chizuru’s hand pressed against Kagami’s curls and she ruffled them gently. “You are a very polite and handsome young man. You’ll make your parents proud when they hear.”
Kagami wavered, hand coming to clutch Tobirama’s haori. Deciding that enough was enough, Tobirama pretended to focus on nothing for a moment and then waved Hideki over. The teen did so, and Tobirama fished out enough currency to feed five. He pressed them to his hand and quickly lied, “Unfortunately I’ve been called away and will take Kagami with me. I’m sorry I cannot accompany you to the lunch as promised”—which, he actually hadn’t, but Haruto didn’t need to know that— “so, please treat yourself and Hisao and Akane. I will meet with you all later.”
Whether later was today or not all depended on Kagami.
“Of course,” Hideki said, always quick on the uptake. No wonder he had been one of Tobirama’s favourite students. He bowed and thanked Tobirama for all the help provided. Haruto tried to sneer at them again but Chizuru just smiled and not-so-sneakily elbowed him in the ribs. The wheeze he made gave Tobirama much pleasure.
“Please come by again!” Miyu piped up. She waved at Kagami even as Akane pouted, her arms crossed petulantly.
“Unfair!” she complained. “You just got here! We haven’t even had time to do anything yet!”
“My apologies, Akane,” Tobirama said. When she turned to him, he added, “Next time, perhaps I could teach you a new earth technique in return?”
“Really?!” she gasped. “Even though I haven’t—” she suddenly stopped, biting her tongue as she flushed bright red. Hisao bounced on his feet, downright gleeful.
“She hasn’t yet got the last one down!”
“Hisao!” Akane screeched. The boy yelped and scampered off, Akane following him like a wrathful oni. Miyu just winked at them and she leisurely followed the children.
“We’ll take our leave then.” Tobirama laid his hand on Kagami’s shoulder. With one last bow from Chizuru and Haruto—the latter clearly doing it under pressure—Tobirama pulled at one of his seals, returning the two of them to the Senju household.
No one was home but Tobirama had still transported them to the gardens, a little out of the way from the entrance and prying eyes. It was also the spot Tobirama preferred to hide in when he felt overwhelmed, despite the tree infused with Hashirama’s chakra that curled over the area. Tobirama pulled Kagami with him, gently guiding him to where he knew there was a log to sit on. They did, watching the wind tug the branches that had lost their leaves.
“…She reminded me of my mom.” Kagami leaned against Tobirama, cuddling to his side when he lifted his arm to pull him close, halfway under his haori. He manoeuvred his fur to tilt towards the child, sharing its warmth between them. “She used to mess with my hair like that. She said—she said—” Kagami swallowed, thickness making its way to his voice. “I miss her.”
“Chizuru-san is a good mother. If she is at all like yours, then I agree, she would be proud of you.”
“…Do you think so?” Kagami asked in a small voice. He sniffed. “It’s just—I know I didn’t—do it, but it was still me who—"
“I do,” Tobirama said firmly. He squeezed the child, rubbing his shoulder with his thumb. “I know I am.”
They sat like that for a while, just watching the time go by. At one point Tobirama infused his chakra with the water, enough to pull another strand of water like earlier, twisting it in the air like a liquid snake to make shapes of animals and people.
“…What was your mother like?” Kagami asked while watching a flying pig morph into a crudely made Hashirama. “Was she nice?”
“She was kind,” Tobirama replied after a moment of thought. “Fierce, a warrior in her own way. She never let our father go over her without a fight and he would back down half the time just to avoid her wrath.” A small smile curled over his lips. “She would spend as much time as she could with us but with her being the clan head’s wife and us his sons we were all kept busy with either our duties or training.”
“I haven’t seen her around.” Kagami bit his lip and he peered up to look at him. “Is she dead too?”
“She died giving birth to one of my little brothers.”
“One of them?”
“I had two, Kawarama and Itama. Itama’s mother was my father’s second wife.”
“Oh. So they are…?”
“Yes.” Tobirama gestured forward where four graves sat in another nook, two small between two bigger ones. He let the chakra clear away and the water rained on the stones. “Only Hashirama and I are left.”
Kagami stared at the graves quietly. A leaf forgotten by the wind fell on one of the small ones, decorating it with its yellow hue.
“Can you tell me about them?” Kagami asked. “Show them?”
“Show them?”
“Like a genjutsu.” Kagami tilted his head. “My clan often shares memories that way.”
“I—see.” Tobirama hadn’t thought of that, but it did make sense; as a clan with a doujutsu entrenched in illusions, it made sense for them to find more utility in it than mere battle advantages, the same way the Senju did with natural chakra. “I can try.”
Tobirama was obviously trained in the illusion techniques just as much as any other shinobi—perhaps even more so, considering Butsuma’s training regimes and his status as the heir and former enemy of the Uchiha clan—but he wasn’t a natural with it. There had been gruelling sessions that left him exhausted and beaten more than once when even one time was too much for his father.
Carefully, akin to a spider weaving silk, Tobirama made the required signs and they both watched as the memory Tobirama had pictured came to life. A woman with Hashirama’s flowing dark tresses and kind smile, Kawarama’s eyes, and Tobirama’s freckles that barely anyone living had seen—so light on his skin they could be illusions themselves—since his family had dwindled first by one, then two, and lastly three.
The fourth one he hadn’t cared all that much about when he finally passed.
“She’s beautiful,” Kagami said quietly. Tobirama felt the pulse beside him, a tell-tale sign that Kagami had activated his sharingan. “My mom’s hair was like that too.”
“Then you must have gotten your curls from your father.”
“Mmm.” Staring at the figure Tobirama had conjured, watching her laugh at nothing, Kagami asked, “Can you show me others too?”
Without replying, Tobirama focussed on bringing out the clearest memories he had of his brothers. It had been so long that Tobirama couldn’t remember what they sounded like nor the exact details of their faces—and didn’t that hurt, the illusion of life imperfect due to his own faults—but he enhanced the smiles, the joys, that had lit Kawarama and Itama’s faces whenever they got a jutsu just right, had their favourite meals made, had a moment of peace from the judgement of their father.
He felt a tug and a shine of the sun landed on them, Amaterasu silently floating midst the illusions. She frowned at Kagami, tilting her head, but Tobirama minutely shook his head. She nodded, going to the outskirts of his creations.
Tobirama created an entire world around them, keeping his three lost loves in the middle, but pulled out a memory of Hashirama’s awful bowl cut—the last prank Itama ever did, it had torn Hashirama when he was forced to grow his hair out again—and another of Akane as a babe, Hideki when his student was younger, even Izuna’s startled, drenched face the first time he got splashed by Tobirama’s water dragon. More and more he added, explaining the world he had come from.
Kagami listened attentively, chakra slowly draining as he kept the sharingan up. Even if half of it had been consumed already, it seemed to go down slower than what Tobirama had experienced from Uchiha in battle but perhaps that was the strain part; here, Kagami could just sit and watch without the necessity to move, to kill. He could just be and record the happy parts Tobirama could pull from his past.
“Who is that?”
“That is my aunt, Touka’s mother.”
“And that?”
“Hatake Nagisa, my distant cousin. He used to follow me around just to be annoying.”
“His teeth look funny.”
Tobirama smirked. Nagisa’s teeth were sharper than a Hatake’s usually were and they had looked oversized when he had been young. He hadn’t heard from him for a long time; hopefully he hadn’t passed away in the two years they hadn’t met. “They do, don’t they?”
“Were they really that big?”
“They did at least seem so at that point.”
“Huh. What about the glowing lady?”
That gave Tobirama a pause. He looked through his illusions but didn’t find anyone that resembled Kagami’s description. The closest one he could see was his mother but Kagami already knew who she was. “Which one are you talking about?”
“The one floating by the big tree.”
Tobirama turned, suddenly realising who the child was talking about. His incredulity was reflected on Amaterasu’s eyes when they met.
“The one—” Tobirama frowned, letting the genjutsu woven in the air fizzle and fade, “—still there?”
“Yeah!”
A thought broke through the line connecting them, echoing as disbelief filled the space between.
Kagami… could see her?
Suddenly, the boy blinked and his sharingan faded. He rubbed his eyes and when he opened them again, he sighed. “I can’t keep it up longer,” Kagami mumbled, disappointed. “I wanted to record it all.”
“It’s because you haven’t trained your doujutsu much yet,” Tobirama explained. He exchanged another look with Amaterasu before asking, “Can you describe the woman you saw?”
“Hmm? The glowing one?”
“Yes.”
“She was beautiful,” Kagami announced, grinning. “She had white hair, like you, and her clothes were pretty and looked expensive!” Then he paused, frowning. “I haven’t seen anyone wear things like that here though.”
“Can you see her now?” Tobirama asked. “She hasn’t moved yet.”
Kagami squinted in Amaterasu’s direction but shook his head. “I can see a ball of light?” he offered. “Do I need sharingan to see your genjutsu?”
“You are half right.” Tobirama gestured Amaterasu to approach and she did, slowly. Kagami’s eyes started watering the closer she got and he had to avert his gaze when she stood in front of them. “What you saw, Kagami, wasn’t an illusion.”
“It wasn’t? Then what was it?”
Tobirama smiled down at the child, hoping that it was a reassuring one. “What you just saw was your patron goddess, Amaterasu herself.”
He didn’t know what that meant if it did anything at all, good or bad. It did, however, feel akin to a start of something new as both Kagami and Amaterasu brightened, the former with childish joy and latter with hopeful tears.
Years it had been that no Uchiha had heard her.
Years it had been that no Uchiha had seen her.
But now, here, at this moment, one had.
Of all the people, of all the Uchiha, it was little Kagami.
As the child’s face shone, taking in the gentle glow of his clan’s Sun with awe the way she did to him, Tobirama could admit he found it rather fitting and deserving, more so than with any other.
***
Tobirama retreated to his room after dinner, citing exhaustion, not long after making sure Hashirama was actually retiring to bed and not having his ‘one more’ drink more than once until his nerves calmed. Izuna lazily waved him away, focusing back on Kotori’s tale he and Touka were listening to attentively. Tobirama pinpointed his senses to where Kagami was already asleep, carefully watched over by Kikyo and her group of ladies for the night where the rest of the Uchiha children had been gathered. Finding everyone where they should be, he waited.
Not long after, Madara slid the door open and slipped in. He had eaten quicker than the rest and went to have a bath to wash off the grime he had managed to gather by doing who-knows-what during the day. At least his hair was less of a disaster now although it fell heavily down Madara’s back. Tobirama winced just thinking of the weight and migraines it could cause if not for the trained muscles Madara had accumulated by wielding his hefty gunbai.
…Not to mention he might catch a cold. If he did, just before Tsukuyomi’s celebration—
Before Madara had even managed to completely close the door behind him, Tobirama was up and rummaging through his dresser. He pulled out a jar of Hashirama’s hair oil and a thick, wooden comb, the latter of which he used to point at a pair of pillows on the ground.
“Sit,” he ordered. Madara blinked at him owlishly before a scowl spread on his face.
“What?” the Uchiha almost snapped. Tobirama rolled his eyes and pointed down again.
“Your hair is a mess. Sit down so I can make some sense out of that bird’s nest before you get sick.”
Madara’s expression cleared almost instantly, smirk replacing the annoyance at being ordered. “Oh?” he purred, leisurely moving in and gracefully flopping down on one of the pillows. “Worried, are you?”
“Stop it.”
Madara laughed low, more a rumble than anything louder. It flowed over Tobirama’s skin in waves. Ignoring it, Tobirama grabbed an unused towel as well from the dresser before slamming it close. He winced at the noise, hoping it wouldn’t carry.
He settled behind Madara, sitting on his knees to increase his reach. After putting down the rest of his items, he put the towel to good use. The ends of Madara’s hair were still dripping water.
“Do you even know how to use a towel?” Tobirama had to ask. Not even Hashirama was that sloppy with his locks. Madara merely shrugged.
“There’s too much of it to dry without using chakra,” he said. “It didn’t seem like worth a hassle, not tonight.”
For someone with a fire nature at his core, that was probably true. However, for Tobirama… Grinning to himself, Tobirama gathered a small amount of chakra to his fingertips and used it to draw droplets of water out of the dark mass before him. The small globes wobbled a little when meeting the towel before breaking apart.
Curious about the drain he could sense, Madara twisted around just enough to watch Tobirama work. It wasn’t the most exciting or delicate task, just a show of control to be able to pull the water without damaging the strands.
It did take a while though. Madara did not lie when he said there was a lot of it.
When Madara’s hair was less wet and more damp, Tobirama set the towel down to pick up the oil. He took a generous amount to slick his fingers and buried them into the black mass. Madara turned back around, a tension dissipating when Tobirama massaged the oil into his scalp. He let out a sigh, shoulders relaxing as he leaned slightly into Tobirama’s touch.
“How was your clan?” Tobirama asked.
“Didn’t Izuna tell you at the dinner?”
“He did. But I asked you.”
Madara huffed a laugh. “Doubt his word?”
“Maybe I just want to hear your voice.”
“That’s a first. Never heard that one before.” Another chuckle rumbled against Tobirama’s fingers. “They are fine. Despite the threat of tomorrow, relations between our clans have improved. Kikyo came back with the clothes and toys, which, thank you. The children were elated.”
“Nadeshiko-san was glad to be of help.”
“Mm-hm. And your presence had nothing to do with it, I bet.”
It may have helped a little, but Nadeshiko came from a civilian family with fewer shinobi tragedies than usual. Her fear had more to do with the lives of her children who were no longer in danger from the Uchiha. Hence, the willingness to help those in need, especially other children.
“Were there any concerns?” Tobirama asked instead. He picked up the comb now, beginning his work to untangle what he couldn’t with his fingers. He left the oil jar open just in case he needed more.
“Nothing we weren’t ready to alleviate. You don’t have to worry about the Uchiha; we are ready for tomorrow.” Madara’s voice carried surety like a sword, cutting through doubts with its sharp edge.
“The Senju as well,” Tobirama said. “I did have a small altercation with one of our shinobi today but he has been dealt with.”
“What happened?”
“Have I mentioned a Haruto before?”
Madara thought about for a moment. “I think I’ve heard that name thrown around before but nothing major.”
“He has lost family against Uchiha before which he is, understandably, bitter about.” Tobirama wasn’t about to put all the blame on Haruto while he did not approve of his actions; these were deep-rooted issues that cannot be solved in a fortnight, maybe even years. Despite that— “He tried to take it out on Kagami.”
“What?!” Madara snapped. He instantly tensed, ready to bolt, but Tobirama twisted his grip on the comb, laying a hand on Madara’s shoulder.
“Peace. I did not allow that and neither did his wife. He will be in the doghouse for a while since his daughter is very taken with Kagami as well. He did defend her yesterday.”
“The girl with the attitude?”
“That’s the one.”
Madara slowly settled down again. “Tell me everything,” he demanded. And Tobirama did. While he spoke he tried to keep his hairpulling to a minimum but there were times he felt Madara twitch under his hands. Tobirama inwardly sighed. What on earth did Madara do to his hair to end up like this? Had the ends ever been maintained?
“—And then we left,” Tobirama said. “We spent the rest of the lunch hour in the garden.” He halted for a moment, considering his next words. In the end, he decided to be straightforward and continued, “We met Amaterasu there.”
“Oh?”
“Mmm.” Tobirama set the comb down and coated his fingers with oil again. Madara’s hair would never be straight, not with the tools Tobirama had, but it was easier to manage now. With some more oil and a tie, he could pull it into a neat braid— “Kagami could see her.”
“What?!” Madara snapped again, this time more out of shock than rage.
“His sharingan allowed him to see her. Even without it, he could see the sphere of light that always surrounds her.” Tobirama began to divide the black mass into sections. “Seeing her probably strained his reserves since he did have a good amount left when he recorded a genjutsu I showed him. But… he did it.”
“See her—Kagami.” Madara barked a short laugh. “Of course it was Kagami. I’m not sure why I am even surprised.”
“I had the same thought.” Tobirama gently twisted the sections into a braid, making sure no stray strands were left. “We debated on it and Amaterasu thought it might be due to the fact his sharingan has recorded more happy memories than bad; joys of life outweighing the sorrows.”
“Perhaps, after this, we will have a generation for whom it does not come too late.” Madara’s voice took a wistful tone. “A generation who does not have to bury their loved ones before their time.”
“That is the dream,” Tobirama agreed. He took out a string and tied the thick braid. He flicked it over Madara’s shoulder and sat cross-legged when Madara turned around to face him.
“And you and Amaterasu?”
“We—” Tobirama wavered, thinking back to the conversation, the half that they had had while Kagami napped under his fur after all the excitement. “We are in agreement for how to move forward. I am not saying everything between us has been solved but… It is better than it was before.”
“Did she apologise?”
“Many times.” Tobirama grimaced. It had been very uncomfortable but she hadn’t faked the sincerity. When he hadn’t accepted—not yet, too fast—she hadn’t complained nor pushed. “We will see how to remove the part of her power that she transferred after the battle. Whether it will destroy the bond completely will remain to be seen.”
Madara remained silent, keeping his dark eyes on him. The scrutiny was slightly invasive and Tobirama disliked the feeling of nakedness it caused. For some reason Madara had a talent of seeing behind Tobirama’s walls, sometimes even better than those he had lived his whole life with.
“And if it does?”
Tobirama cast his gaze to the side. The bond thrummed quietly between him and the Sun Goddess. It warmed the part of him that had been shivering for days on end.
“Then it does.”
He had lived most of his life without her. He would learn to do so again. If it left him unable to see or hear her again, then at least Kagami—and the possibly rest of the future of the Uchiha clan—could. It was a future worth fighting for… and he wouldn’t have to live alone with just her as company until the world breathed its last.
He could admit he cared for the goddess. She had grown into someone he admired, someone who learned from her mistakes and recognised her flaws. Sometimes he even saw himself in her, in the desperate way she tried to save those she loved; had he had her power before Itama had passed—
Tobirama was pulled from his thoughts when Madara took his hand and pulled him up. He followed him, silently, and they ended up on the engawa where the nip of the winter cold bit into their skin. Their breaths puffed into wisps of fog, Madara’s more than his.
Tobirama tilted his head to watch the stars begin to twinkle far away in the midst of the endless darkness. The moon, once a relief in the grimmest of moments, had barely a sliver left.
“The darkest night is tomorrow,” Madara said.
“Yes,” Tobirama replied. “It is.”
But the day after that starts the journey towards spring. The days will grow until the night is just a memory, something to build on and never to repeat.
A hope for a new morrow.
Tobirama found his clasped hand lifted and a kiss pressed to it. He closed his eyes, enjoying the silence before the storm. The warmth they shared battled against the bitter chill. He squeezed the hand holding his.
It would all end tomorrow, for better or worse.