Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

There was a knock at Yu’s door. A persistent one.

One loud enough that it caused Yu, for the first time that day, to leave his bed and slowly, carefully plod his way down the stairs in his parents’ dim, empty apartment, his fingers clinging to the railing, the furniture, the walls, and finally - blessedly - the door handle.

Since Yu’s move back to the city nine months ago, none of his friends had been able to come visit him, so when he opened the door to find a rain-swept Yosuke Hanamura on the other side, his jaw fell open.

That was when his knees gave, and his fingers reached out to grasp the wall as he felt himself start to collapse. Luckily, Yosuke rushed to him immediately, throwing his bag on the ground and quickly snaking his arms beneath Yu’s to keep him standing.

“Lean on me,” were the first words out of his friend’s mouth, and Yu listened to them. He didn’t have a choice, really.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words out of his own, that he whispered, as he gripped handfuls of Yosuke’s jacket. It was cold and sopping wet from the rain.

“What for? I should be the one apologizing for making you get up in the first place.”

Yu chuckled sadly, lowering his head to Yosuke’s shoulder. As always, his friend was still much too apologetic for his own good.

He could have asked Yosuke what he was doing here, but he was pretty sure his friend would just give him a “look” in response, so he kept his mouth shut. No use wasting energy better spent keeping himself standing. He had a feeling Yosuke’s mind had been reeling after their phone call a few days ago, when Yu had confessed to him that he hadn’t gotten any better.

Still, showing up himself? All the way from Inaba? Yu would have called it excessive.

Now that the shock of seeing him had passed, he tried to right himself in Yosuke’s arms. It was a struggle; the vertigo was still the only thing he could think about. He managed to straighten his posture, though he did have to continue hanging onto Yosuke to avoid falling.

Once he gained some bearing, he checked Yosuke over - and his stomach plummeted. His partner’s face looked drawn (with worry or travel or both, Yu could only guess). His hair was drenched and dripped on the entranceway floor, making it abundantly clear that Yosuke had been forced to walk blocks in this rain from the station he must have arrived at all the way to Yu’s parents’ apartment building.

Yu was breathless; he had no idea what to say.

Yosuke smiled. “Here, take a hold of this for a second,” he instructed.

He placed both of Yu’s hands on the nearby entryway table - a thin antique Yu had scratched to shit with the daily tossing of his keys and wallet. The table wasn’t as high as Yosuke’s shoulders, so the change in altitude took a small wind out of him. But his knees didn’t buckle and he didn’t pass out. He was fine, he said.

Yosuke hovered near him for a few seconds before moving out of Yu’s sight. Behind him, Yu could hear Yosuke start to shed his outer clothing (the crinkle of his puffy jacket and the screech of his boots over the tile) and then, he heard a distinct scrape across the floor.

“Behind you.”

Yu reached his hand out and felt the cool wooden surface of a dining room chair, which Yosuke then eased him into.

He moaned softly. Oh, that was better. That was much better.

“Thank you,” Yu sighed. Even to him it sounded thin and desperate.

“I’m going to find something to dry myself off with real quick. Don’t try and get up.”

Yu nodded but he wasn’t sure if Yosuke saw him, since his back was to him. He heard his friend leave the room and tried to listen in on Yosuke’s movements throughout his much-too-large home, wondering if his partner would even be able to find the bathroom. He’d gone upstairs, so that was a good sign. He could hear doors being opened for a few seconds, and then there was a long stretch of silence in which Yu nearly failed to keep himself awake.

He jolted when Yosuke eased him back by the shoulder some time later (which had felt like hours but had to only have been minutes).

“Let’s go back upstairs.”

Upstairs? But Yu had spent all that energy coming down the stairs. He looked up at him forlornly. “I’m not sure I can-”

“Don’t worry,” Yosuke interrupted, his voice much too cheerful. “I’ll carry you.”

“Wh-Yosuke, no-” Yu argued, but Yosuke was already on his knees, shoving his arms beneath Yu’s legs and pulling Yu’s shoulders towards his.

Yosuke just chuckled. “I don’t have a choice! We have to get you back upstairs, don’t we?”

As much as he wanted to, Yu didn’t have a single ounce of energy left in him to resist. Yu hung onto him as best as he could while Yosuke jostled his body into his arms like a ragdoll, then stood with his full weight. Yu had always been bigger than Yosuke. Even with his recent weight loss, carrying someone his size couldn’t have felt as easy as carrying Nanako.

“Just don’t make any sudden - ngh, movements - ngh-”

Yu snorted out a small laugh, and couldn’t help the secretive smile that curled into one side of his mouth. Yosuke really was a great friend . . .

Yu decided to make the best of an awkward situation and take advantage of Yosuke’s kindness, resting his head against Yosuke’s with a sigh and keeping still so he wouldn’t cause his friend any trouble as he navigated them both upstairs. He really was tired, and Yosuke’s arms were really warm, and strong. He hadn’t been carried since he was a child, obviously, but he could see the appeal of this. Too bad he was much too sick to have any fun with it.

By the time they made it to the upstairs hallway, Yu was half-awake and didn’t bother mustering the energy to give Yosuke any directions to his bedroom. His partner was smart, he could figure out a standard apartment, even one as big as the Narukamis’. He did consider saying something when Yosuke hung a left out of the hallway instead of a right (where his bedroom was), and led them both into the bathroom instead, but he didn’t. He stayed still and a little confused as Yosuke gently, gently placed him down on the nearby stool and stood up with a loud sigh of relief.

At first, he suspected Yosuke had merely forgotten to pee and that it couldn’t wait, but it became clear when his friend turned around to set a fat stream of water in the tub that Yu was in here for another reason.

He suddenly lifted his head from where it had been resting against the cool tile wall. “What are you doing?” he mumbled. His voice echoing off the bathroom chamber rang thickly and unpleasantly in his head.

“Giving you a bath, duh,” Yosuke said, a little playfully. Then he got down on his knees and tugged off Yu’s socks. 

Guilt and shame wove together to form a ball in the center of Yu’s chest. “Yosuke, you really don’t have to.” He didn’t dare try to resist him; he was much too weak. But certainly, he couldn’t let Yosuke just . . .

Yosuke sighed. His head was down, and the socks hung loosely from his hands. When he looked back up at Yu, he looked tired, way more tired than he had at the door downstairs. Yu felt the ball in the center of his chest clench painfully.

“When was the last time you had one?” Yosuke asked, with a kind smile. But he didn’t look . . . happy.

“A few days ago,” Yu whispered, his voice catching tightly. His eyes stung.

“Then I’m sure a bath would make you feel a little better. I don’t mind.” He shook his head soundly at the last sentence, impressing upon Yu the sincerity of his words.

Yu just sat there and let the tears gather at the rims of his eyes.

“Afterwards, we’ll get you back in bed. I’ll help you with the doctor visit tomorrow, too, so don’t worry about that, either, okay?”

Yu didn’t say anything. He couldn’t.

He watched Yosuke unbutton his pajama shirt, unable, frustratingly, to do much else than sit there and try not to cry in front of him. A few tears did escape but Yosuke didn’t mention them, to his relief (and those, at least, he could wipe away). He allowed Yosuke to undress him; the only difficult part was getting himself standing to a point where they could get his pants and boxers off. It was over in a matter of seconds, thankfully, and Yu was soon catching his breath against the wall, watching Yosuke toe off his own socks.

Yu was a little surprised when Yosuke started to undress himself, but then just as quickly realized he would have to be naked if he was going to bathe him . . . Yu felt another stab of guilt and turned towards the wall, letting the sound of the roaring bathwater fill his head.

He only looked back when he felt Yosuke hovering just in front of him with a small white towel. He contemplated the bit of cloth hanging from Yosuke’s hand before giving him a short nod, at which point Yosuke bent down to tie it around him as a modesty towel. Yosuke had one, too, and it made him feel a little better, actually, not quite so exposed and vulnerable. He might pretend they were at the Amagi Inn getting ready for a nice relaxing soak.

Once they were ready, Yosuke turned off the water in the tub, then slid the topper closed to keep the water hot while they showered.

“Alright, bear with me, partner,” Yosuke said, as he knelt down by Yu’s side.

Yosuke hooked Yu’s arm around his neck and carefully stood him up. He was fortunately not daring enough to carry Yu across the now steamed tile floor in his arms like before. Instead, he merely walked them, slowly, into the long open shower. The Narukamis’ bathroom was spacious, so it was a long journey, but they made it without incident.

Yosuke set him down on the shower stool, then turned around to fiddle with the handles until he had released a hot spray of water from the showerhead. He sighed as the water drenched him, ribbons of it streaking down his body and making his skin pucker.

“This actually does feel pretty good after the rain, heh.” He sounded like he was in heaven.

Yu watched him, tired but unblinking. Yosuke’s skin shimmered in the overhead shower light, and the glints caught Yu’s vision with every twist and turn. He swallowed.

After smoothing back his hair and getting the water out of his eyes, Yosuke turned around and studied the small bottles displayed in the corner shelf. “Okay, so which stuff is yours? Oh-”

There were only three bottles there - clearly labeled shampoo, conditioner, and soap. Silently, Yosuke plucked the shampoo and pooled some into the palm of his hand, then grabbed the shower head from its base and, with a little hesitation but a reassuring smile, began shampooing Yu’s scalp.

Yu could help with this much at least, he insisted. He volunteered to hold the shower head while Yosuke shampooed him. He probably should have shampooed himself, if he were honest, but this felt extraordinary. And it gave him a good view of Yosuke’s bare chest and stomach. And he really was incredibly, incredibly tired and he . . . he just-

“Hold your head back a little more so it won’t get into your eyes.”

Oh, Yosuke’s voice was gentle. He shut his eyes tightly and tipped his head back at Yosuke’s instruction, losing himself in the feeling of Yosuke’s fingers carding through his hair under the warm water.

It was over far too quickly, but when he blinked his eyes open and saw Yosuke’s proud smile, he couldn’t help returning it. It was so silly, the whole thing, that it was incredibly hard for Yu’s feelings of weakness and uncertainty to take root. One look at Yosuke’s smile made it clear - that he was protected. And if he forgot that, he knew Yosuke would be quick to remind him of it.

Just as always.

They took their time. Yu continued to assist with holding the shower head, even rinsing himself off when Yosuke let him. Bathing Yu was a bit of a dance, but they got through it. Yosuke used the loofah with some extra force than Yu typically used on himself, and he welcomed the shot of life to his skin. It felt tingly, invigorated; it even made his head feel lighter.

By the time Yosuke was rinsing himself down, the water had turned lukewarm. Yosuke had to shut it off in a hurry, probably in fear that it would make Yu more sick (as if that could happen, Yu thought bitterly). As he’d been hoping, he felt more refreshed after the scrub-down so he was able to help Yosuke a little more when it came time to get them both in the tub.

After carefully navigating them both over the steamed tile, Yosuke sat him down on the edge of the tub first. He slid back the topper keeping the water warm and, while he was at it, dropped in a couple scoops of the bath salts that had been sitting in a bowl on the corner. The gesture was small but witnessing it tugged at something inside of Yu, something plaintive and tender that felt like guilt but wasn’t.

Yosuke eased them both in the tub with much more care than he’d had to use to get them in the shower. The tub walls and steps were slippery enough, but now everything was slick with steam, making any purchase unnervingly scant at best. The hazard was worth it though, because as good as the shower had felt (and Yosuke’s hands on his skin), the bath actually made him audibly moan as he sank down into it.

Yosuke moaned, too. Yu imagined his muscles were getting pretty sore now, from all the standing and lifting and bending. He let Yu get comfortable on his own, so Yu sunk down until his chin lapped at the water and sat there for several seconds, breathing in the smell of the salts and clean, fresh water. His head felt much better than it had even an hour ago. It gave him hope, however meager, that he could actually get better.

“Feels good, huh.” Yosuke sounded relaxed beside him.

Yu moaned his agreeance and shifted, tugging off the uncomfortable modesty towel that was honestly useless at this point. Yosuke’s hands weren’t on him anymore and . . . and they weren’t going to be. They were beneath the water, anyway. Yosuke noticed what he was doing and grabbed it from him, removing his own, as well, and placing them both in a small pile on the edge of the tub.

Nearly as soon as the silence settled around him, Yu’s mind began drifting, as it had been lately.

He thought about the prolonged episodes of vertigo he’d been experiencing for nearly two months, what they could possibly mean for his body, what condition he might have and what it meant for his future. They seemed to be getting worse rather than better, a reality that terrified him into virtual inaction. The two doctors he’d seen thought he was either anxious or looking for drugs to get through the last semester of his third year.

The slow, petering out of his health had finally taken its toll a few weeks ago, when he’d had to stop going to school altogether, praying the excuses and doctor’s notes he forged would hold off an inquisition to his parents. He’d barely told his friends, or his uncle. He’d only confessed to Yosuke after he couldn’t save face anymore, not even over a simple phone call.

Yosuke hadn’t . . . taken that news well. Yu wished he could forget it. Though, it was thanks to Yosuke that he’d even tried to call for another doctor - this one, a house visit.

Up to now, he’d felt so incredibly alone, more alone than he ever had, especially since his parents were traveling again and relied on him to take care of himself. He wondered if they’d be furious with him when they found out how long he’d been feeling sick without saying anything, or if they’d feel concerned enough to come back. He wondered how he’d ever make up all the schoolwork he was behind on, or whether he’d be well enough for school ever again.

He thought about the past, back when he was well, and how easy everything came, how able-bodied he’d been, fighting shadows and playing with Nanako and working and attending school. Living his life.

He wondered if he’d ever feel that way again, as free and strong. He wondered if this was the part where he withered away, out of everyone’s life, as if all of it had been too good to be true.

The water shifted around them. Yu looked over in just enough time to see Yosuke sliding his arm behind his back, and then he was being pulled into his chest. Once again, Yu didn’t resist, burying his face in Yosuke’s shoulder and releasing a choked sob. Yosuke held him tighter. 

Yu opened his eyes and focused his attention on the skin of Yosuke’s chest that filled his vision. He was already wet, so the tears weren’t visible, but Yu knew they were getting on him. He should feel more guilty, his mind whispered; he should feel worse that his friend had come here to wash him and watch him cry naked against him. He should.

But he couldn’t. And it made him cry harder.

He didn’t say anything when he felt the press of warm lips against his scalp, or when he heard Yosuke sniff also. He brought his hand up and gripped Yosuke’s other shoulder, was what he did, pressing their bodies even closer and just pretending, for a few minutes, that this was normal, and that Yosuke didn’t have to go back, that he would stay and do this every night, forever, or for as long as they each needed. He pretended that he was cured so that he could do the same for Yosuke on his bad days. Because he would do anything to get Yosuke to feel this way - forever safe, undeniably loved.

“We’ll figure it out. You’ll be okay, partner.” Yosuke’s voice was tight.

Yu gasped against his skin, and let out several more sobs, sniffing and wiping the tears on Yosuke’s chest and shoulder. “Yeah,” he managed, with much more richness than he would have thought possible in his state. He sounded like he believed it. Did he believe it? It felt true, for that split second.

“You’re not alone.”

Yu wept, sharp and loud.

“You’ll get better.”

Yu nodded, head pressed tightly to Yosuke’s shoulder. His face felt hot, but the tears still burned his cheeks.

“I’ll be here for you, like always. And everyone else, too. We’ll make sure you get better.”

Yu breathed. He latched onto Yosuke’s words and held them, tiny precious gems, rolling the gravelly texture of their truth around the folds of his mind. He breathed.

More tears gathered and slid down his cheeks, but the horrible, twisting anxiety was finally dissipating. He was shaking terribly now, like sodden and splintered timbers cracking in the wake of a cyclone, held up only by their strongest beams. He clenched his fingers into Yosuke’s shoulder and his partner tightened his arms around him. Yu sighed.

He was surprisingly calm now, even considering the subtle tremors rattling through his skin. His shaking wouldn’t let the water around them keep still and it was a little distracting, but he knew it would pass, eventually. Yosuke had taken to smoothing his free hand up and over his exposed shoulder and arm, and the sensation was so incredibly pleasant it could have put Yu to sleep, if not for the shaking.

Yosuke’s breathing lulled him even closer to the edge. His heartbeat was steady, if too faint from here. Unthinkingly, he slid his hand downward over Yosuke’s chest and pressed in order to feel it thud against his palm. Yu tethered his mind to the rhythm, willing it to smooth out over the raw and jagged feeling in his skin.  

His eyes fluttered open when he felt a tickle at the back of his hand. It was Yosuke, tentatively curling his fingers around it. Yu stared at the motion in slight awe, watching his own fingers lift away from Yosuke's skin to make room for his friend’s fingers to slide between. Yosuke’s thumb drew over his knuckles comfortingly - and Yu was awed by that, too.

His partner’s slim, strong, dextrous hand was now around his in a way it hadn’t been. Not ever. He was surprised at how delicate the touch remained, as both their hands were beyond calloused from their adventures last year and didn’t look like the hands of boys their age. But now, they sort of . . . did. Clean, dewy from the heat, soft - Yosuke stroked his hand as tenderly as Yu imagined he’d stroke the hand of a girl he loved.

The swell of emotion their connecting hands stirred in him muddied his higher reasoning, as he drew Yosuke’s hand to his mouth and pressed a faint kiss to the knuckles. Yosuke chuckled, like he couldn’t be more charmed, or like he did when Yu did something odd but endearing.

He removed his hand from Yu’s embrace and stroked his thumb over Yu’s hairline, tucking back a thick strand of his bangs, then down over his temple . . . and jaw . . .

Yu tipped his head up. Yosuke didn’t look like he had when he showed up at Yu’s doorstep, drenched and sleepless. He looked more awake than ever, as alert as Yu had ever seen him in the TV world, gazing down at Yu with dark eyes that searched his perceptively, reverently, for what felt like an eternity.

But then Yosuke closed his eyes, and Yu could finally breathe again. His partner let out a quiet breath, as if remembering all the fatigue he’d carried to Yu’s doorstep, and set his forehead against Yu’s. Yu pressed their faces together, nuzzling into the warmth on Yosuke’s skin, breathing in Yosuke’s breath.

Yosuke dipped his head and put his lips on the corner of Yu’s mouth (soft wet warm) and removed them. Yu gasped softly, his lips instinctively trailing after him - but Yosuke put their foreheads together once again, keeping their mouths just far enough apart.

Yu couldn’t help himself from nuzzling into him again, coaxing his partner with little nudges until, eventually, Yosuke did put his lips where they belonged - against Yu’s.

It was brief, just like before, but smooth and firm and giving and wetter than anything. And then Yosuke did it again, mercifully, and this one lingered a little longer, long enough that when they separated, Yu could hear their breaths coming heavy and loud against the tiled walls. Yosuke’s was especially loud, and after another quick press of his lips, he pulled away for good.

He planted a firm kiss against Yu’s forehead and rested his chin against it. His arm cradled Yu against him, and Yu actually found himself a little relieved that Yosuke’s mouth was up there now, because he was starting to get very dizzy again very quickly. He couldn’t slow his breath down, either. Yosuke’s chest was pounding beneath his palm.

To calm himself, Yu traced a pattern into Yosuke’s skin. The movement was aimless at first, but as his pulse slowed, a single word came into focus. He mapped it out in short strokes, with precision, again and again, and again.

After Yu’s fourth iteration of the word, Yosuke’s hand came around his and brought it to his lips, planting the littlest of kisses against his knuckles. He intertwined their fingers, and their hands played above the water, slowly looping and threading, and Yu’s heart, light and thrumming and the least sick it had felt in months, rang like a bell.

The rumbling of Yu’s stomach broke the spell. With a faint groan of embarrassment, Yu shyly dropped their hands beneath the water. Yosuke snickered at him; he could feel his breath beat against his forehead, fluttering through his bangs - and then, a quick kiss to the same spot.

“I’m hungry, too,” Yosuke mumbled, words muffled by Yu’s hair.

Yu was too busy smiling to agree, not that Yosuke could tell.

He knew it was best to get out now; the water was definitely beginning to chill and he needed to lie down, if nothing else. At the risk of making himself sleepier, he pictured himself laying down in his usual spot in bed with Yosuke curled up beside him, smoothing back his hair and kissing his forehead some more. He could fall asleep like that and later, wake up to Yosuke’s serene face fast asleep on his pillow, inches from his. If he was strong enough, he could scoot forward and touch his lips gently with his own, just to feel how soft they were.

“Hey, Yu?”

Yu blinked his eyes open at his name.

“When was the last time you had something to eat?”

“Yesterday.”

Yosuke was quiet for a long moment, and Yu was about to go back to daydreaming when Yosuke spoke up again.

“. . . When was the last time you kept something down?"

Oh. Yu hesitated, suddenly afraid to answer truthfully, afraid of what Yosuke might think. “Maybe . . .” he started, the words lethargic and muted as they left his mouth. “Perhaps, Wednesday . . .?”

Yosuke sucked in a breath. “Wednesday? ”

Yu nodded faintly.

Yosuke let out a slow breath. The pleasant atmosphere they’d created in the bath had fled entirely. Even the lingering warmth in the bathwater had seemed to vanish. Yu stayed quiet, anxious of the anger he could feel radiating through Yosuke’s skin.

“‘Kay,” Yosuke whispered eventually, squeezing his shoulder and pressing another brief kiss to his forehead.

The touch of his lips made Yu’s stomach untangle itself a bit, although not entirely. Yosuke’s concern wasn’t something commonly misplaced, and Yu knew that. He knew that well. The slow crawl of shame up his back and into his cheeks was reminder enough that he’d been . . . basically just surviving (and barely) for probably over a month.

How much longer would he have lasted if Yosuke hadn’t shown up?

His thoughts were interrupted as Yosuke sat up from the edge of the tub, bringing Yu with him. But the fatigue Yu had been warring with throughout the bath was finally wrestling its way to the surface. Even with Yosuke holding him, he felt incredibly weak, like his head was an iron ball filled with cotton. He was worried about trying to stand, but . . . he knew Yosuke would help him. They’d get to his room together.

“Time to get up,” Yosuke encouraged, the hint of a pained smile reaching his eyes.

Thankfully, he let Yu rest back against the tub for now, which Yu did with a tired sigh and a slight groan. Once Yu was comfortable, Yosuke leaned forward to undo the drain and then stood up to grab a towel off the small shelf that the Narukamis kept stocked. He covered himself and stepped out of the tub, taking a few seconds to dry his body off completely before guiding Yu into doing the same.

“Here, swing your feet around,” he instructed. Yu obeyed.

He thought Yosuke was going to help him stand up again, but he wasn't so lucky. Without warning, Yosuke lifted him into his arms like he had downstairs and Yu, quite frightened of being carried over tile, squawked and clung to him. Yosuke snickered and set him down on the stool. Yu grabbed the wall at once, panting and glaring daggers at him.

"Sorry, partner," Yosuke said, still chuckling. His good mood seemed to have fully returned. Still, Yu remained wary of Yosuke as he bent down and began patting him dry. Of course, the soft cotton and Yosuke’s gentle touch shooed away his irritation after a second or two.

When he was almost dry, Yosuke looked up at him.

“Do you want me to do your hair for you?”

“Do my hair?”

“Well, I mean, is there anything you put in it?”

Yu hadn’t put anything in his hair since middle school, although he had quite the array of styling products. Come to think of it, he wasn’t totally sure how he had acquired all of them. “No,” he shook his head. “But if you need anything, you can probably find it in that wall cabinet.”

Yosuke glanced over and spotted the wall cabinet in question. “Oh, okay.” He shot him a grateful smile. “Thanks!”

“N-no problem,” Yu said under his own smile, his cheeks getting warm. He must look like such a fool, sitting here naked and blushing while his crush toweled him off. This was definitely not how he’d pictured spending today.

Of course, he would never even dream of complaining.

Eventually, Yosuke deemed them both dry enough, and he made his way to the sink to re-dampen his hair and apply some mousse-foam-stuff he’d found in the cabinet. It must have been at least close to what Yosuke usually used, because it made his hair look just like normal after he put the blow dryer to it for a minute.

“You blow-dry your hair so fast . . .” Yu marveled aloud as Yosuke made his way back over to him and knelt down.

“Really?” Yosuke began folding Yu into his arms. “Well, lots of practice I guess. But my hair is - ngh!” (Lift.) “Much finer than yours. Why, how long does it take you?”

“Forever, when I did it.” The hallway air was much colder than the dying heat in the bathroom; Yu was glad Yosuke had let them keep their towels.

“So you don’t do anything to your hair? That’s just how it naturally is?”

Yu shrugged. “I suppose. I do get it cut.”

Yosuke laughed. “Yeah, I figured that, at least.” He sighed as they entered the bedroom. “Okay, here we go.”

He lowered Yu’s legs down to the floor and sat him on the edge of his bed. Yu immediately welcomed the give of the mattress on his bottom compared to the hard bench and tub. If he wasn’t so cold, he might just fall back and pass out.

Yosuke tugged the towel tighter around Yu’s shoulders with a soft smile - which Yu returned, albeit with a bit more sheepishness.

Yosuke’s eyes fell away from his as he looked down for a moment, then back up. “Do you mind wearing something of mine until I can do a load of laundry? I brought extras and don’t exactly wanna root through your whole room,” he said, smiling wryly.

Yu glanced behind Yosuke to the back of his bedroom, at the clothing scattered there that he hadn’t bothered throwing in the hamper, at the open drawers with nothing in them. He swallowed slowly, and nodded. “I mean, no, I don’t mind,” he corrected, with a shake of his head.

“Cool. I’ll be right back,” Yosuke said, rising to his feet and heading to the door.

“Where are you going?”

Yosuke smirked. “Uh, partner, my bag’s still downstairs,” he reminded him.

Yu must have looked extremely disappointed because Yosuke immediately laughed.

“I’ll be right back! Don’t worry.”

Yu gave him a lopsided grin and then Yosuke turned away and disappeared down the hall. And Yu was left by himself, huddling in his towel even though he wasn’t wet anymore, listening intently for the sounds of Yosuke downstairs. Funny, that he felt so much like an abandoned newborn sitting here, when he’d already been alone for months.

He was surprised and delighted the vertigo hadn’t come back since the bath, at least, although this fatigue was really starting to get to him. He closed his eyes to rest them, not able to keep them open any longer.

He was jarred awake by the sound of Yosuke’s bare feet on the wooden floorboards in the hallway. By the time he re-entered with his bag, Yu was yawning back his sleepiness.

“Still pretty tired, huh?” Yosuke asked as he placed his bag down and unzipped it.

“Mmhm,” Yu mumbled as he watched Yosuke root around his bag for clothes, noticing the glint of his headphones and other items catching in the light. All the rain from this morning appeared to have vanished and what shone through his floor-to-ceiling window now was the faint orange hue of the setting sun.

“Well, I’m gonna try and get some food in you first, and then we can let you rest some more.”

“Food?” he moaned. “But I’m not hungry.”

Yosuke looked up from his pajama spelunking. “Dude, your stomach literally growled at me in the bath. And you haven’t eaten in days. And you know what? I’m not arguing with you about this - you’re eating.”

Yosuke dug in again, tossing his possessions around with more aggression than he probably had to. Yu felt like he’d shrunk a few inches under that heated stare Yosuke had given him. And then he remembered his friend’s attitude in the bath, the tense and pained crack in his words when Yosuke had asked how long it had been since he’d kept down food.

So, eating was probably fine, Yu decided. He’d give it a go. For Yosuke.

“Alright, bingo,” Yosuke sighed as he stood. He was holding a ball of clothes. “You can probably fit in these,” he said, handing Yu some pants. “They’re a little long on me so they should fit you well enough. Good luck with the shirt, though; I don’t have anything bigger.”

Yu took the clothes from him and studied each parcel: a pair of blue and white striped pajama bottoms and heather gray t-shirt. Both looked heavily worn. “We wear the same size shirt, don’t we?”

Yosuke pulled a face and made “so-so” gesture with his hand. “I think your shoulders are a little bigger than mine. But, you look like you fit a Medium.”

Yu unfolded them and pretty easily slipped on the shirt. He did his best on the pants but then Yosuke shouted at him to stop while he finished tugging on his own pants.

“Hang on, hang on,” Yosuke grumbled as he landed at Yu’s feet with a thud. He took the pants from Yu’s hands. “You probably shouldn’t be bending down like that,” he chided.

They eased one of Yu’s legs in first, and then the other, and then Yosuke was tugging the waistband up. He instructed Yu to hang onto him as he lifted him into a standing position to finish the job. Yu was tired and light-headed, but he didn’t mind. It meant he got to wrap his arms around Yosuke’s shoulders and breathe in the soap smell on his bare skin. 

“Sorry,” Yosuke grumbled in his ear as he tied the pantstrings in the front. “I should have dressed you first. I don’t know what I was thinking.” He huffed out a laugh, again, in Yu’s ear. “Still new at the ‘taking care of loved ones’ thing, I guess.”

Yu’s breath hitched at the last sentence, but he retained the sense to shake his head, however wobbly it was. “No,” he whispered, trying to keep his tone light and failing miserably. “You’re amazing, Yosuke.” He gripped a hold of Yosuke tightly, no longer needing to stand but unable to let go all the same. “Actually, I . . . I don’t know how I made it this far without you. The past two months have felt like a blur, and then you arrive and suddenly, I feel like I . . . I-”

Yu’s legs were finally giving out beneath him. Yosuke, faintly trembling, immediately eased Yu back down onto the bed, then knelt down before him. He didn’t let go of Yu, nor Yu of him. Yosuke’s brows were tightly furrowed and his weary eyes glistened in the light of the sunset and Yu thought he looked so pained, and wanting, and hopeful.

“I haven’t felt . . . ‘okay’ in a long time,” he started again. “But, you’ve made me feel like I can beat this. I didn’t realize how resigned I was to feeling so sick - so helpless.” He sniffed. “So . . . thank you,” he choked, bowing slightly, as much as he could with both his hands on Yosuke’s shoulders.

Yosuke dove up and kissed him, hard and full. Yu’s breath was stuffed into Yosuke’s mouth, which opened again and again as it took his lips in small, desperate strokes. Yu’s thumb smoothed over a streak of tears on Yosuke’s cheek, his fingers delving into his partner’s soft, clean bed of hair. The pads of Yosuke’s fingers burned his skin wherever they touched - his jawline, his neck, his scalp. Yu had even forgotten how important breathing was until Yosuke forced them apart, panting like mad and sniffling.

Of course, Yosuke pressed their foreheads together. And Yu sat, trembling and smiling, as he caught his breath.

“I don’t want you to worry about a thing while I’m here, got it?”

Yu sniffled and nodded, their noses bumping.

“Laundry, cooking, taking out the trash, watering the plants, swatting flies - I’ve got it all covered.” Yu laughed and Yosuke kissed him, quick and warm. “It’s time for you to rest and get better, partner. I’ve already decided I’m not going back until you’re well again.”

Yu’s stomach lurched and he pulled away. “Yosuke-”

“I know what you’re gonna say, Yu,” Yosuke said with a guilty smile. He settled back down on his heels and placed his hands on his own knees. “I’ve thought this through. My parents know and Chie and Yukiko are gonna help with notes and homework. I’ll do it from here if I have to, even if I have to email all my assignments. Worst case scenario I transfer here,” he finished, with a mild shrug.

The fearlessness in his tone, the kindness in his brow as he met Yu’s eyes - Yu could only stare back and fight down the swell of emotion in his chest. Naturally, Yu knew half of that to be complete bullshit. Yasoinaba High was a little too old-fashioned to allow a student to study remotely, and certainly, Yosuke’s parents (no matter how cool they were, and they were ) would definitely not take well to their son transferring to a Tokyo school hundreds of miles away from his home.

Eventually, Yosuke would have to go back, no matter how much he kicked and screamed.

Yu almost wished he could care. The old Yu might have, the one who hadn’t been bathed and kissed and dressed and tended to, the one foolish enough to think that his health was of no concern or consequence to anyone - even the people he loved. Yosuke skipping school and generally taking time out of his third-year life to help him eat and bathe and . . . it would have been too much.

The old Yu wouldn’t have dared to accept this kind of help.

But the one sitting in Yosuke’s clothes, with the boy himself on his knees ready to give him the entire world despite everything, couldn’t even begin to imagine living without it.

After nearly two years of fighting and winning every battle he faced, emotional or otherwise, Yu succumbed all too willingly to this one. He nodded, trying to keep an even face as more tears slid down his cheeks. “Okay,” he whispered simply.

Yu saw the smile on Yosuke’s face before he bowed his head and sighed in relief. It made Yu laugh; Yosuke must have come prepared for a real brawl. Yosuke scooted forward a few inches and rested his forehead against one of Yu’s knees, and Yu felt Yosuke’s hands tickle up his calves as he stroked Yu’s skin over his clothes. Yu threaded his fingers into Yosuke’s hair, feeling its coolness in the webs of his hand, realizing with a sudden thrill that this wouldn’t be the only time he’d get to do this.

Eventually, Yosuke sat back, placing a quick kiss to his knee cap as he did so. Yu let Yosuke’s hair fall from his fingers.

Their eyes met and then, after a long moment, Yosuke told him it was time to eat.

Yu felt a little betrayed by the meal Yosuke prepared for him. Yosuke had told him last year that he only knew “how to boil eggs”, but it was clear he was a bit more adept than that. Or, at least, he’d grown more adept. Maybe he had Ms. Hanamura to thank for that. Otherwise, Yu would have to get revenge on Yosuke for all those times his partner had left it up to him to save their stomachs from the girls’ cooking.

The meal was actually fairly simple - just some fried rice with egg and a little seasoning and a bowl of broth. They weren’t sure what Yu’s stomach could take after being empty for so long, or if Yu’s stomach would take anything at all.

Unlike the last three days, this meal wasn’t followed by a bout of vertigo that uprooted it all, so he was able to keep it down. The broth warmed him in a way no soup or stew had in ages, and the rice settled the uneasiness in his empty stomach. He finally felt like he might be able to sleep soundly, like one ought to after a good meal instead of from weakness.

After he got Yu settled back in bed with a full belly, Yosuke spent a while piddling around the house, picking up the weeks-old dishes and starting a load of laundry. He fetched their clothes from the bathroom and cleaned the tub for use tomorrow. He refreshed Yu’s sheets with spares and got him some hot tea. Yu thought he might have to literally reel him in by the collar to get him to stop but, just as he was about to pout about getting lonely, Yosuke plopped down on the bed with a huge groan.

“Taking care of you sure is a lot of work, partner,” he said to the ceiling.

Yu sipped his tea. “Early train leaves at 5am.”

Yosuke shot him a disapproving smirk and Yu chuckled into his mug.

“Like I’d ever want to leave now,” Yosuke said as he turned onto his side, propping his head on his palm.

Yu gazed at him out of the corner of his eye and indulged himself in the soft look on Yosuke’s face. He’d never seen Yosuke look at him like that so . . . openly. Those were expressions Yu only ever thought he saw, elusive ones he pondered when he was alone. Even after all that had happened today, knowing they actually existed was surreal.

“Like I’d ever let you.”

Yosuke blushed - a refreshingly familiar display of humility - and face-planted into Yu’s sheets. He yelled, or something (all Yu heard was the muffled sound of Yosuke’s voice) and lifted himself back up, completely red-faced.

“Anyway ,” he said. “Looks like you’re starting to feel a little bit better, at least.”

“I am,” Yu said with sincerity. “The vertigo hasn’t come back since you got here, actually.”

“Oh?” Yosuke asked, a mischievous smile pulling up one side of his mouth.

Yu scoffed, looked away, and took another sip of his tea.

“Could it be that a dose of Hanamura was what you needed all along?” He placed his hand on his chest in faux flattery.

Yu quirked his head thoughtfully. “Actually, you could be right.”

Yosuke didn’t look impressed. He dropped his hand. “That was a joke,” he said lamely.

“But I meant it,” Yu defended.

Yosuke sighed, like a heavy weight was being placed back down on top of his chest. He sat up and scooted closer. “Well, we’ll just have to wait and see what the doctor says tomorrow. What time is he supposed to get here for?”

“Around eleven, if I remember right.”

Yosuke looked off into the empty space of his bedroom, the darkened corners Yu never bothered lighting. “That oughta be enough time for me to wake up and feed you,” he said, as if to himself.

Yu was about to argue that Yosuke didn’t have to do that - he’d already done more than enough - but all that came out was a quiet, “okay.” He cradled his mug to his chest, neverminding how closely its warmth matched the warmth in his cheeks.

Yosuke looked back to him at once, smiling gladly. Yu’s stomach flipped wonderfully as Yosuke leaned in and placed a chaste kiss to his cheek. He turned his face into it, hoping for another brief brush of their skin - maybe lips to lips - but Yosuke had already pulled too far away. Yu squeezed his mug.

Tentatively, Yosuke reached out and tugged one of Yu’s hands free, holding it in his own. Their conjoined hands lowered to the mattress, where their fingers threaded together like they had in the bath, rubbing and feeling and reassuring. To distract himself from Yosuke’s face - near enough to see every beautiful detail of but not near enough to kiss - he focused on their hands.

He was counting the life lines traced across Yosuke’s palm when his partner let out a soft chuckle that made Yu look up.

It had to be the motion itself, or the result of that ever-present fatigue - regardless, a wave of dizziness suddenly overwhelmed him. Yu tipped forward where he sat, and Yosuke quickly grabbed his mug from him so it wouldn’t spill while his other hand firmly grasped Yu’s shoulder.  

“Need to lie down?” Yosuke asked worriedly.

Yu knew he shouldn’t nod, so he moaned what he hoped sounded like a “yes”. Yosuke got the message, placing the mug down on Yu’s spare bedside table behind them and easing Yu down into his sheets.

“Do you wanna lie flat or is this good?”

“This is fine,” Yu groaned, settling into the tower of pillows behind his back. “It’s not a bad one . . . I . . . think it’s starting to fade . . .”

Yu tried not to think about it as he let his brain work itself out. When he first began getting these episodes, he’d tried walking, sitting or laying down rapidly, lying flat - but not one maneuver seemed to work consistently, so he’d just gotten used to dealing with it until it faded.

He was honest when he told Yosuke this one wasn’t that bad, though. It vanished nearly as suddenly as it had arrived. To say he was relieved would have been an understatement. The vertigo was bad enough, but retching his meals up added another layer of misery to the whole thing. Fortunately, that didn’t feel like it was going to be a problem this time.

After a few seconds of quietly determining that the dizziness was in fact gone, Yu politely asked Yosuke to hand him back his tea. 

Yosuke smiled, relieved and perhaps a bit humored at Yu’s casualness about the episode, and began scooting back towards the other side of the bed. “Fine, but let me go warm it up first, okay?” He grabbed the mug and stood up. “Be right back.”

Yu would have happily waited an eternity and a day for Yosuke Hanamura to bring him hot tea in bed. Unfortunately, his body wasn’t quite on board, as he managed to drift off before Yosuke got back. He realized, with a start in the middle of the night, that the new mug of tea had long since cooled on his bedside table, and Yosuke -

- Yosuke was sleeping. Right beside him. Or, had been. He’d woken up when Yu did, similarly startled and concerned.

“Yu?” Yosuke groaned, sitting up in the dark to mirror him. “You okay?”

Yu thought so. He felt fine. But he lamented over his cold tea and for falling asleep on Yosuke, both of which Yosuke brushed off with a sleepy chuckle.

“It’s fine. It was my fault - I wanted to make you a fresh cup and couldn’t remember how to work that damn kettle and . . . I didn’t want to wake you just to drink tea. You need the sleep.”

Yu nodded dimly, registering at least in part what Yosuke was telling him. Still sleepy, he lay back down and when his partner followed suit, Yu pulled him in close by his sleep shirt. Yosuke molded to the command instantly. He wrapped his arms around Yu and sighed; Yu could see him smile through the dark as Yosuke closed his eyes, their noses bumping.

This was better than the daydream (so much better) because Yu didn’t have to move to kiss him at all.

They lay tangled like that until morning.

Yu woke to the feeling of Yosuke’s nose against his. Without opening his eyes, he honed in and pressed their lips together. Yosuke didn’t kiss him back, but that was okay; he was still dead asleep. Yu blinked his eyes open finally and tried to figure out what time it was by the amount of sun filtering into his room from the blinds. It certainly felt too early to move. The splash of light over Yosuke’s peacefully sleeping face didn’t help.

He wasn’t sure how long they lay like that until Yosuke finally started to become more and more awake, eventually opening his eyes and smiling at him tiredly. Yu tried not to move as Yosuke placed a long kiss of greeting to his lips, but pouted when he tried to get up.

“C’mon, partner.” Yosuke laughed as Yu held him down. “I need to fix you breakfast. It’s probably getting late.”

“What time is it,” Yu muttered, his lips barely moving. He was trying to think of a poutier face he could make that would convince Yosuke to stay in bed with him.

“Uh . . .” Yosuke extended his arm further behind Yu, until it grasped one of their cellphones enough to hold it up so he could read the time. “Ouch, 10am.”

Yu groaned.

“We really gotta get moving.”

“No.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’? The doctor’s coming! We have to get you dressed and fed. And I’m pretty sure I have to change the laundry.”

“None of that will take an hour,” he murmured - and kissed him. He pulled at his lips with a little bit more spice than Yosuke expected, clearly, because Yosuke gasped against his mouth and found Yu’s hip with his hand, giving it a squeeze. “I want to stay in your pajamas anyway,” Yu continued, in the lowest voice possible.

Yosuke let out a short, trembly little breath against his lips. Yu took the opportunity, while he had them stunned, to kiss those lips again. Yosuke let him do it just one more time, and then his hand finally came up to cup his cheek and ease their mouths apart.

“As much as I wanna stay here with you - and damn are you making that sound nice right about now - I have eggs to make.” Even as he tried to sound sure of himself, his voice wavered and an unsteady smile played on his lips.

And Yu felt quite a bit satisfied by that, enough that he actually decided to let Yosuke get up. He eyed Yosuke as he rounded the foot of the bed and came up the other side and, feeling confident, he rolled over, not shying his gaze away like he might have last night. He let Yosuke see his eyes glide up and down his form as he passed him to head out of the door.  

Yosuke laughed airily and couldn’t help covering his face on his way out. Yu wanted to get up and follow him but thought better of it, easing himself back down to his pillow with a cocky grin.

He had a bit of a start when Yosuke came bounding back through the door again, but gave a playful laugh when his partner bent down to smother him with a kiss. Yu even dared to make it a bit more impassioned by threading his fingers through Yosuke’s hair, but Yosuke was too quick for him and pulled away before they could get far.

Then he swept out of the room as quickly as he’d arrived, and Yu was left smiling and panting in his sheets, Yosuke’s name a whisper on his lips.

Breakfast was a lot like dinner last night, except Yosuke decided to put a fried egg on top of his rice and add some soy sauce for a bit of flavor. It was simple yet rewarding, as each meal he kept down quickly became a huge milestone. He craved vegetables and fruit, but knew he was lucky enough to have eggs, as he hadn’t had the ability to shop for food further than the corner konbini in weeks. Yosuke promised he’d pick up some essentials for him later that day, and wouldn’t bend when Yu begged to accompany him.

That made him a little grumpy until the doctor showed up - at which point his mood went from mildly annoyed to visibly anxious. 

But the doctor visit turned out to be the best thing to happen to him in the two months that he’d been sick - apart from Yosuke showing up at his door, of course.

The doctor had asked him a lot of questions that, at first, neither he nor Yosuke could figure out the motive behind. But at the end, it was revealed that an infection was the likely culprit to his symptoms, which had developed in the recovery stage of a head cold Yu thought he’d shaken around the same time that he started getting the vertigo. The doctor admitted the infection had become more severe than typical, due to how long it had taken the teen to get diagnosed, but that he would be fine as long as he took the right medicine.

All his other symptoms were attributed to his lack of a true diet, as well as the natural effects the mind underwent when the body became chronically ill - or, so the trusty doctor said.

And he was perhaps the nicest one of the slew Yu had seen over the weeks - certainly the only one who cared, who didn’t dismiss him as a stressed-out third year looking for drugs - so Yu (and Yosuke) decided to believe him. He was prescribed an antibiotic, and a bland but nutritious diet, until the medicine ran its course and he (ideally) returned to full health.

Yu couldn’t help marveling at the tiny prescription order in his hand as Yosuke saw the doctor out, thanking him over and over. The possibility that the remedy for this wretched plague could be so simple stunned him. But it also filled him with something even beyond hope, something that took his breath away when he considered that - finally, finally, he would be well again. He could go back to school. He could visit Inaba. He could leave his house.

A cure.

“Hey,” came Yosuke’s soft voice from above him. The little paper was slipped out of his hands. “I’m gonna go get this filled. Right away. So, let’s get you back upstairs.”

“I’m fine here,” Yu said from his sitting position, eyes looking up in Yosuke’s direction but not seeing him.

“You sure?”

Yosuke looked like he might fly out of Yu’s house at any moment, so Yu nodded hurriedly.

Yosuke frowned and sighed at whatever it was he saw on Yu’s face. He knelt down and took Yu’s mouth firmly, both of his hands cupping Yu’s cheeks to press them together. Yu might have whimpered at the intensity, his arms reaching out to grasp at Yosuke’s clothes. He wasn’t prepared when Yosuke separated them, as his second whimper made clear.

“I’m running,” Yosuke said, and Yosuke meant it. “And I’m coming back with medicine. I won’t be long.”

Yosuke’s hands left him as he stood up and Yu, flushed and trembling and excited and too afraid to even look at him, murmured, “I love you,” ushered by the beat of his own racing heart.

He wasn’t positive Yosuke was prepared to hear those words, but they felt too good to say. He became dizzy - and not in a sick way. It was as though time narrowed and compressed the two of them in this very dense bit of space in the Narukamis’ grand living room, just their breaths and wild pulses and the sound of Yosuke’s clothes and the feel of his hands coming round his and his big, beautiful eyes and his lips -

Full. Firm. Giving.

Yosuke opened his mouth, dragging Yu’s lips apart with his and suddenly Yu could taste . . . everything. And the texture and warmth were more sublime than they had any right to be.

Then, Yu heard the faintest of sobs, and Yosuke pulled away, blinking back tears.

“I love you, too.” He said it with a smile, simple yet strained with emotion, as he wiped at his face hurriedly. “Dammit,” he muttered.

Yu thought he chuckled. He couldn’t be sure. Yosuke was glowing in the light pouring into the living room, from the shine in his tear-laden eyes and his bright, open face, which for a glorious, brief second, seemed to lose its bravery beneath the weight of his pride and become shy, tender.

And Yu wanted to protect that, desperately, even more than he wanted to keep breathing.

Maybe now, he’d be able to.

Yosuke packed himself back up as best as he could, swallowing and wiping away his tears with his shirtsleeve. He let out a relieved laugh as he connected their foreheads together again in that same, intimate way.

“I’m running,” he said, with a sniffle.

Yu smiled, nodding shakily in response, and pulled Yosuke in for another kiss.

Neither one of them could breathe well, on account of the tears, but Yu still made sure it wasn’t a short kiss by any stretch. He pushed Yosuke’s mouth open and took all of it, suddenly fearless about showing him what he wanted - what Yu knew he needed - because with Yosuke, it was all within his reach. He asked, stretching himself up and into the kiss, and Yosuke answered, pressing down into him and giving, giving, until Yu finally felt at peace.

Eventually, when both their lips grew tired, he let Yosuke slowly break the kiss and stand up. He watched him back away towards the door with a victorious and satisfied smile plastered on his face (that Yu was quite positive he was returning in kind). Yu dared not stand up; who knew what the heat in his brain would cause him to do next?

Yosuke dashed out of the house a few seconds later, boots barely laced and jacket unzipped. A rush of freezing air billowed through the Narukamis’ living room and sent a thrill up Yu’s spine. But he stayed right where Yosuke left him, his mind racing, happily awaiting the sound of returning footsteps at his door.