Chapter Text
BEGINNING
“FUCK YOU, BLAKE!” he finally snapped, the door to his office slamming behind him. The sound echoed through the otherwise silent precinct, the other officers having come to a startled halt as their argument escalated. Of course it was nearly a daily occurrence by now that the two of them went off on each other, but their colleagues fortunately knew not to get involved.
Huffing out a breath labelled with frustration, Jayden barely had time to take a step towards his desk before the door was slammed open again, Blake grabbing a handful of his hair and throwing him against the nearest wall.
“Oh no, Nahman, I’m nowhere done with you yet,” the older man hissed in his face, his right hand twisting in the front of Jayden’s shirt until the agent started feeling dizzy. “I’ve had just about enough of your smug fucking attitude. Why don’t you do us both a fucking favour and run your fucking queer ass back to Washington?!”
Jayden glared at Blake, his jaw working in badly suppressed anger and his eyes dark, piercing slits. The other man knew full well that he couldn’t; that the agent had been moved to the station in Philly permanently since he had cracked the Origami Killer case. Something about his transfer being ‘good publicity’ for the FBI, giving them a friendly, competent face outwards, and of course Perry never turned down anything that could boost his and the station’s reputation in a positive way.
“Oh? What’s that? Got nothing to say?” Blake taunted at him in a sing-song voice, his breath hitting Jayden’s face as he moved even closer. His presence was looming, making something in Jayden’s stomach twitch despite the few inches he had on the other in height. “That’s right, because you’re nothing but a fucking bureaucrat! I betcha ain’t even a real agent; pretty boy like you probably sucked a lot of dick to get where you are!”
The sound of cracking bone travelled from Jayden’s fist through his body, settling unpleasantly in his spin. Greedily he sucked air into his lungs as Blake stumbled back, a stream of curses leaving the older male.
“Shut the fuck up! In case you forgot, Blake, I have more than enough proof to get you suspended!”
With a snarl the lieutenant spun around, shoving his body against Jayden and forcing him back against the wall. “It that a threat, you fucking faggot?”
The blood that slowly ran down from Blake’s nose made the grimace on his face resemble the cover of a horror film. The sight would have been somewhat comical, if the rush of adrenaline, anger and fear didn’t cause Jayden’s whole body to freeze up. “Why don’t you try me, you psychopathic asshole?”
Jayden barely even registered the movement as his own at first, his mind too clouded by boiling warmth. When Blake had brought his face even closer with a snarl, the younger male had acted instinctively, ready to do just about anything to shut the other up and gain the upper hand in their confrontation.
He was just as shocked as Blake at first both men starring into each other’s eyes in shock as they jerkily pulled apart, dark blue striking into light teal.
A small huff of air left Jayden as he pushed his body back against the wall again, trying to prepare for the hit he knew had to be coming. Shit! Fuck, why the hell did I do that?! He cursed and scolded himself internally, raising his hands up next to his head in the universal sign of surrender. He... He had pressed his lips- ... With any luck this display of submission would be enough to satisfy Blake, letting him off with only a few punches and harsh words.
What the hell had he even been thinking?! But that was just it, the analytical part of his brain concluded; he hadn’t been thinking. What did that mean? He felt uncharacteristically lost as his analysis of his own behavior came out inconclusive.
Blake had remained unmoving, his eyes still fixated on Jayden’s own. Not for the first time Jayden wished that he could just shrink and disappear from the situation completely. It was no wonder that Blake had been promoted to lieutenant. While he could hardly be called a good detective; his methods downright illegal and violent, his unyielding gaze pinned Jayden in place, slowly reading him as his eyes tore deeper and deeper through his mind. A sense of dread crept through the agent’s arms and into his neck, his mind running hopelessly in circles.
It took an embarrassing amount of energy to force his eyes closed. He tried to prepare himself for the first hit, willing his body to relax as much as possible in an effort to, hopefully, not break anything. It didn’t help his mind slow down though, his psychology degree refusing to let the subject of what he had just done be.
He had been under a bit of stress lately. The tension and anger in his body simply needed an outlet and thus in the heat of the argument his body had reacted on pure instinct, seeking a form of release. It wasn’t unlikely: First there was how frustrated the FBI treating him like nothing but a glorified poster boy had made him and then he had been sent here of all places; straight back to a group of people who had made it very clear how displeased they were by his presence.
The bile had risen in his throat the second he saw the new letters that had been added to the door of his office: Norman Jayden, crime scene analyst and criminal psychologist.
Treacherously his mind added, that technically he had been under a lot more stress during the OK case, and back then he sure would have been more likely to spit in Blake’s bastard-face rather than even think of kissing him.
Furthermore, he really should focus on how to retaliate, and how to possibly win, the ensuing fight rather than-
With his eyes closed and his mind still in a daze, he didn’t hear Blake take a step closer. What he did notice, however, was the heat that radiated off the other male’s body, Jayden throwing his eyes open in a weird mixture of alarm and anticipation. His hands had left their positions in the air in responds to the other’s warmth, now resting against the front of Blake’s shirt.
He fought to suppress the shudder than ran through him, as Blake forced him even further up against the wall; the coolness of the bricks a sharp contrast to the burning heat of the lieutenant’s body. He felt cold, his grasp on the fabric of Blake’s shirt slowly growing firmer, his hands tugging the other closer on their own accord.
Once again his mind scolded him, demanding that he stopped this fooling around instantly. This was Blake! Carter fucking Blake, the biggest asshole he had ever met.
Willing a deep breath out through his nose, he lifted his gaze towards the other, ready to pin the other male with what he hoped would be an accusing glare. “Just what do you-“
The words died breathlessly on his lips, Blake’s deep blue eyes so much closer than he had expected. A calloused hand grabbed at the locks of his brown hair, a small, confused sound leaving the agent as he felt himself being yanked forwards.
For a moment everything came to a stop. The sound of the precinct on the other side of the office door died down, the soft rush of cars passing by the station outside fading to a steady, flowing rhythm. The sound of his heart was overwhelming, seemingly echoing in the air around them.
Jayden sighed weakly against Blake’s chapped lips, feeling his thoughts be consumed by those eager lips and the ticklish sensation of Blake’s goatee. A small part of him wanted to pull back and escape, warning him that this was only some part of a sadistic plan, designed to give the lieutenant something he could torment him with later.
He had nearly made up his mind to push the other away, when Blake caught his bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling and licking at the sensitive skin. Small sparks of electricity flooded through Jayden’s body, his hands shooting up and tangling in Blake’s hair. The newfound sense of want that rushed through his body was surprising even to himself: He had of course been lost in the thorns of passion before, but this time it was different. The tingling sensation in his skin and the way his skin burned wherever he and the older man touched, seemed to indicate... Something else than just simply horniness. Was it the result of their power struggle?
He would worry about the indications and consequences later, he told himself absentmindedly, only able to truly focus on how his lips and tongue were roughly claimed as soon as Blake felt him giving in. The taste of coffee, cigarettes and something that had to simply be Blake engulfed his senses.
“C-Cartah,” he gasped as they briefly parted for air, heat shooting up into his cheeks as his Bostonian accent came out thick and slightly slurred. A deep rumble sounded from the other male’s chest in reply, the tongue in his mouth thrusting forwards against his own, running along the roof of his mouth. Jayden fought weakly against the need to buck his hips, the last of his resolve dissipating as Blake continued to assault his lips.
The friction created between their grinding bodies caused both of their breaths to hitch. The agent had to bite the inside of his cheek to suppress a jolt when Blake’s warm hands left his hair, instead grabbing tightly at his hips and pushing their lower bodies even closer together, effectively eliminating the last remaining space between them.
Blake’s thumb pushed harshly into the crease of Jayden’s hip bone, a small voice in the back of Jayden’s mind registering that the grip was sure to leave marks afterwards. He would later be embarrassed by the hoarse sound that left him at the thought; breathless, high pitched and downright needy. He felt how the shiver that ran through him transfer to Blake’s body too, his hands twisting further into the dark strands of hair.
His entire body twitched like a live wire as he allowed his hips to be guided against Blake’s own. The warmth in his groin had turned into an uncomfortable strain, his member hardening all too eagerly against the other male’s ministrations. He didn’t even try to muffle the keening sound that spilled from his lips as the hardness in his pants slid up against Blake’s thigh, the momentary relieve enough to make him buck his hips against the other with increasing urgency.
Jayden hadn’t even noticed that he had spread his legs to allow the other closer, a stab of shame twisting in his gut. As if he felt the other’s hesitation, Blake broke their heated kiss and instead attacked the younger’s neck, biting and licking at the sensitive skin.
A whine left the agent after a while, the slow grinding of their hips making him feel dizzy with want. Yet it wasn’t nearly enough, the heat in his body coiling until it was nearly painful, the need to have the other closer still drowning out everything else. His limbs shook slightly as he hooked his calves around Blake's lower legs, gasping as he immediately was rewarded with Blake’s member finally sliding fully against his own.
The friction was enough to make him moan out somewhat drunkenly from pleasure. With cheeks that burned with shame he realized that he was getting dangerously close to coming already, his body twitching and shuddering in pleasure as Blake held him tight. Hearing his moan made the lieutenant grunt deeply in return, his hands sliding from Jayden’s hip and down to his ass, kneading and caressing the sensitive skin.
Blake sped up their movements, Jayden’s head falling back against the wall with another loud moan. A small voice in the back of his mind urged him to be quiet, but he was far too tangled up in desire to care at this point. “Cartah- Cartah please-“ he babbled mindlessly, not even sure exactly what he was asking for except just more.
Blake moaned and growled against the crook of Jayden’s neck, his voice breathless and thick with desire. All it took were a few more thrusts and Jayden came undone in the lieutenant’s arms, sobbing in bliss as he finally came. His cum stained the inside of his boxers, the warm and wet liquid against his skin making him shudder. With a last thrust Blake followed him over the edge, his groan broken and choked as his body rode out the waves of pleasure.
Jayden sighed softly as Blake pulled away from his neck both of them still panting for air. For the first time since they began their eyes met, and Jayden was suddenly struck with the reality of the situation. He had kissed Carter Blake. And Blake had kissed him back.
Blake seemed to come to the same realization as a stunned silence stretched between them. The longer it lasted, the more suppressed questions and mute realizations formed. He had kissed Carter Blake, and they had ki- made out in his office. They had been- They had rubbed against each other. Against the wall. Carter fucking Blake.
Jayden opened his mouth to speak, finally, but before he could even draw in a breath Blake had let go of him and stormed out of his office. Remaining slumped against the wall in silence, the agent looked after the lieutenant as he stormed out of the station. Ash and a few of the other officers cast a few curious glances after Blake and then back at Jayden before the door finally swung shut again.
Jayden silently hoped that they didn’t notice the state of his appearance; clothes messy, lips swollen and cheeks red.
*
In the following days nothing else happened. Both men were avoiding the other as much as possible when they weren’t called out to investigate a crime scene together or put on a stakeout. Jayden remained dumbfounded; continuously confused as to how the bizarre situation had even come to happen in the first place. Wonder if it might have been you kissing him, huh? His mind mocked. It made Jayden desperate for a cup of coffee, even if the liquid asphalt that the precinct disrespectfully called by that name would kill him upon the first sip.
Oh, Great Norman, his mind continued; you get a new start without ARI, without tripto, and you decide that the best cause of action is to kiss the station’s very own psychopathic narcissist?! And let’s not forget that you hate the guy! What the hell were you thinking?!
He honestly didn’t know. He supposed that it had been quite a while since he had been romantically involved with anyone, or even just intimate with anyone for that matter… But he hadn’t thought of that as a problem. If he needed to get off he could easily take care of it on his own. It was both easier and less messy that way, and it allowed him to focus solely on his job and not an angry boyfriend.
It was nothing but his instincts reacting to an uncomfortable situation and that was all; it was a complete coincidence that Blake just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yes, he would rise above this incident. He was a proficient and skilled agent. He had no feelings or anything of the like for Carter Blake. He would pretend that it never happened and go back to working together as professionals.
Though the other had kissed him back. It was all too easy for him to recall the feeling of Blake’s lips against his own, the flavour of his tongue somehow still haunting his taste buds. He had really liked the taste. Plus, the man was quite handsome in his own jagged, menacing way. Of course he was still a fucking bastard who thought his badge gave him the right to terrorize people left and right, and-
“Jayden,” said man’s voice suddenly cut through his thoughts, making the agent jump in his chair. He hadn’t heard the door to his office open and scrambling to try and safe face from his obvious daydreaming, he curtly turned all of his attention to the half-finished report on his computer. His reaction caused Blake to raise an eyebrow, looking unimpressed and on the verge of saying something before he simply shook his head. “Get up asshole we’ve got shit to do.”
The rest of the afternoon passed by in a blur as Jayden focused on doing his work. The crime scene they had been called out to was an absolute mess; the rain had done its work in destroying most of the possible clues on the ground, and the place was already swimming with journalists. The rain and the flashing of cameras hadn’t really done much to lift Jayden’s already somewhat awkward and agitated mood. The only morbidly positive thing was that the victim was easily identifiable and the whole thing was easily determined to be the outcome of a clash between two rival gangs.
Blake quickly got the small team of officers organised and the whole place had been searched in a matter of an hour. Securing the premise and making sure that someone stayed behind to keep civilians out, Blake slowly turned on his heel and stalked back towards their car with a snort. Jayden hesitated for a while, watching the dark outline of the lieutenant’s back against the shifting bright lights from the police cruisers.
Briefly Jayden was reminded of a page in a comic book. The view looked ridiculously fictitious in its stylistic setup; it was almost a shame that he didn’t have ARI anymore to record it. At the thought of ARI his already less than great mood worsened considerably. He shouldn’t be thinking like that. Getting rid of ARI (and tripto) was the right decision. The OK case had shown him just how dangerous the device actually was, and his body and mind was still recovering from the strain. He still had trouble remembering mundane things sometimes: The day before he had looked at the large clock in the station, for an embarrassingly long moment completely unable to recognize what the hands where showing.
“Shit, this is gonna take ages to clear up. Fucking paperwork-,” he overheard Blake mumble indignantly to himself as the older male practically let himself fall into the car, “fucking waste of fucking time.” Jayden said nothing as he climbed into the passenger seat but he did struggle with keeping a slight smile off his face.
“The fuck are you smirking at?” Blake bit in a monotone voice as he pulled the car back out onto the road and into the slow moving traffic.
“Nothing,” Jayden answered a bit too quickly, leaning back in his seat. At least this was an improvement from the drive to the scene: They hadn’t said a single word to one another then, not even the voice of the enthusiastic radio host enough to fill the silence. “I was just thinking that this is exactly like you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Someone died and you are bitching about paperwork.”
“What? You want me to break down in tears, Jayden?”
“Oh no, if you did I fear you would lose all of your pent-up rage. If that were to happen you might even become somewhat pleasant.”
The banter did earn him a slight huff from Blake, the sound laced with humour as it escaped through his nose, “I love ya too, Jayden.”
It was said in a high-pitched, theatrical voice that clearly meant to mock him, but even so the words caused heat to spread across Jayden’s body. Immediately he was back against the wall of his office, his body hungry with longing and Blake between his tights. Cursing inwardly Jayden had to finally admit it to himself: He wanted it to happen again. The memory of sensations and touches assaulted his mind, rough, calloused phantom hands roaming across his back and grabbing his behind.
His mind half-heartedly tried and failed to come up with a reply. The stretched out silence caused Blake to shift his gaze from the road, eyes taking in the stunned and clearly nervous agent next to him.
“Oh hell- That- Don’t you get any ideas, fag! You were the one who threw yourself at me I just happened to be horny and figured I might as well screw around with you, since you wanted it so bad.”
“You were the one who started touching me,” Jayden argued back, cheeks turning purple as anger flared through him, “The kiss was simply an attempt to throw you auff so you’d get auut auf my face.” He pulled a face as his accent came out thicker and thicker as the sentence progressed, hated how it slurred his speech when he was upset.
“Fuck off, you were the one who kept moaning my name like a cheap slut,” Blake growled back through clenched teeth, his grip on the steering wheel tightening.
“You were the aune who liked it!” Jayden yelled back, voice rising as he grew ever more agitated. With gritted teeth he sneered at Blake, lowering his voice and willing his mouth to form each word slowly, “as I recall you came too, so just who’s the faggot of the two of us, hmm?”
Jayden whelped out sharply as Blake suddenly floored the break. The seatbelt caught around his middle, temporarily knocking the air from his lungs as it did its job in keeping him from going through the windshield. The car skirted through the crossroads and turned down a byway, the streetlamps unlit even though it had already gotten dark out. It took a while for Jayden to regain his ability to speak, his body still buzzing with adrenaline and his lungs greedily sucking in air, “Jesus, Blake! What th-“
The lieutenant parked the car along the road once again breaking a bit too roughly before turning the engine off. Jayden’s heart sped up in his chest, a sickly feeling of anxiety causing cold sweat to gather at his neck. “One more word out of your mouth,” Blake said in an eerily levelled voice, slowly turning in his seat so his front was towards Jayden, “and I’ll really shoot you in the face this time.”
Once again silence settled between them, Blake turning back towards the road and leaning back in his seat. He didn’t start the car though. Rain drops created a waterfall against the windscreen, the drops idly sliding down only to be swallowed up by the rest of the flood and gaining speed in their common descend. Humid cold kept in through the bodywork, steel cooling and fabric turning damp. It made Jayden pull his jacket further up around his ears.
His mind worked through various replies and options, but none seemed to quite be right in this particular situation. Next to him Blake hadn’t moved an inch, the lieutenant’s body stiff and tense. After a while the drumming of rain on the roof of the car became oddly soothing. Jayden still hated the constant downpour, but sitting right here, he found his dislike for the phenomenon diminish slightly. Perhaps he was being a fool, but in that moment he decided to just let his thoughts stand still for a time, his mouth taking over without a second thought.
“You forgot your gun back at the station. It’s on your desk,” he mumbled softly into the damp stillness of the car. He kept his eyes pointing straight forwards, following the drops on the glass.
“I know,” came the muttered reply, Blake voice cracking slightly in what Jayden identified as either confusion or embarrassment. Perhaps it was both. “You got lucky this time…”
Tentatively the younger moved his gaze from the window and settled on Blake. The other’s face was twisted in a grimace, brows furrowed and the edges of his mouth pointing downwards. For a second Jayden could have sworn that his cheeks seemed darker than usual. Or was it just the rain being reflected in the window? Feeling like he was intruding on something private, Norman quickly averted his gaze again. His abdomen tightened slightly, and for a brief moment he wondered if perhaps he had crossed a line.
“Let’s get back,” Blake sighed and reached for the key. Before he could turn it in the ignition, however, Jayden allowed himself to follow the urge in his body and stopped him. Placing his hand on top of Blake’s he experimentally let his fingers graze against the smooth skin of the back, touch gentle and light, ready to quickly retreat in case the other lashed out.
Both men stared transfixed at their hands, fingers shaking slightly as they continued to touch. The back of Blake’s hand was soft in contrast to how callouses and rough patches lined his palm and the underside of his fingers. The skin was littered with small scars. Some had obviously come from cooking, the image of Blake wearing an apron making Jayden chuckle slightly.
The older male huffed, withdrawing his hand slightly before he slid it firmly against Jayden’s, intertwining their fingers. The gesture was so intimate, bordering on romantic, that Norman felt his throat go dry. They had to both be blushing like two pre-teens.
“I’m not gay,” Blake said firmly, his voice back to his normal demanding and rough tone, “I just… happen to like your ass is all.” The only reply that Jayden was able to muster was a gentle squeeze and his teeth digging into his own lower lip timidly.