macabremediocrity
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Summary
So what is the plan now, Mr. Spreadsheet?
“Honestly I was kind of hoping your consciousness would just click back into your body once I touched you.” Shane scratches the back of his head.
You treat me like slap bracelet, Ilya complains.
After a bad hit knocks Ilya’s consciousness out of his body — literally — Shane finds himself sheltering the soul of his decade-long situationship in the back of his head. Turns out it’s a lot harder to keep secrets when you share a body.
(They definitely still try, though.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,974
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 684
- Kudos:
- 4,545
- Bookmarks:
- 1,343
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- 55,503
Bookmarked by macabremediocrity
13 Jun 2026
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Jane: Are you seriously using your dog’s twitter account to tell Hayden to go fuck himself?
Lily: that was anya
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Unfortunately not everyone is supportive of Shane and Ilya's relationship. Fortunately, Twitter is a great place to defend your man.
Series
- Part 3 of Twitter menace Ilya Rozanov
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,700
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 895
- Kudos:
- 17,053
- Bookmarks:
- 1,435
- Hits:
- 80,181
Bookmarked by macabremediocrity
29 May 2026
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the family evans by dirgewithoutmusic for darkersoltice
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Jan 2015
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What if, when Petunia Dursley found a little boy on her front doorstep, she took him in? Not into the cupboard under the stairs, not into a twisted childhood of tarnished worth and neglect—what if she took him in?
Petunia was jealous, selfish and vicious. We will not pretend she wasn’t. She looked at that boy on her doorstep and thought about her Dudders, barely a month older than this boy. She looked at his eyes and her stomach turned over and over. (Severus Snape saved Harry’s life for his eyes. Let’s have Petunia save it despite them).
Let’s tell a story where Petunia Dursley found a baby boy on her doorstep and hated his eyes—she hated them. She took him in and fed him and changed him and got him his shots, and she hated his eyes up until the day she looked at the boy and saw her nephew, not her sister’s shadow. When Harry was two and Vernon Dursley bought Dudley a toy car and Harry a fast food meal with a toy with parts he could choke on Petunia packed her things and got a divorce.
Series
- Part 4 of boy with a scar
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,529
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 32
- Comments:
- 1,052
- Kudos:
- 32,199
- Bookmarks:
- 6,734
- Hits:
- 267,187
Bookmarked by macabremediocrity
29 Mar 2025
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The Light More Beautiful by firethesound_HP_archive for lumosed_quill
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
06 Dec 2014
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Thirteen years after Draco accepts Potter's help escaping the horror of his sixth year, he returns to England where he makes the unfortunate discovery that Potter is still as obnoxious as ever. And worse, more than a decade overseas hasn't been enough to dim Draco's obsession with him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 81,255
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 879
- Kudos:
- 18,853
- Bookmarks:
- 5,695
- Hits:
- 463,808
Bookmarked by macabremediocrity
20 Oct 2022
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The seventh escape by Bergen
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
06 Jun 2022
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Summary
Tony and Pepper snatched Peter up only a few weeks after the first Spider-Man video went viral. Real fucking coincidence, right? Suddenly, Tony Stark rocked right up at his group home, strewing business cards around like he was Oprah. If Oprah were an ugly white dude with a goatee.
“Big fan,” he told Peter, fasting forward through a video of Spider-Man catching a bus before it crashed through a road block. “In and out of foster care your whole life, am I right? I believe my wife and I could provide a very fitting home for you.”
“Pass,” Peter said.Series
- Part 1 of The seventh escape
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,245
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 173
- Kudos:
- 5,384
- Bookmarks:
- 886
- Hits:
- 41,735
Bookmarked by macabremediocrity
17 Aug 2022