killmykai



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    When The Rice Purity Test gets brought up in the locker room, Ilya makes it Captain's orders to learn everyone's score. Shane doesn't expect this stupid quiz to lead to learning more about each other’s past.

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    04 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    ESPN @ESPN
    BREAKING NEWS: The Ottawa Centaurs are officially acquiring Montreal Metro’s captain Shane Hollander in a recent trade. More details to follow.

    shane hollander’s attorney @hollzymvp
    WHAT

    silver @baepshane
    WHAT THE FUCK

    gel @agustorrie
    THAT TAROT CARD READER WAS FUCKING RIGHT

    valentine @STILLYOURBOYY
    here comes rozanov in 3… 2… 1…

    Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
    Happy pride month to me 🏳️‍🌈

    Ottawa Centaurs ✔️ @ottawacentaurs
    It’s official, folks! We are excited to announce that we have acquired Shane Hollander as our new star centre! Let’s give him a very warm welcome 🏒♥️

    valentine @STILLYOURBOYY
    there he is

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    03 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya: I have a complaint to file with HR

    Shane: What?

    Ilya: This is the second month in a row I haven’t received a paycheck.
    Ilya: It’s unacceptable, Hollander.
    Ilya: I want to file a complaint.

    Shane: 😑
    Shane: Wasn’t aware I still needed to pay you when you’re now a co-owner on all my accounts.
    Shane: You know.
    Shane: Because we’re MARRIED.

    Ilya: I’m going to tell the whole world.
    Ilya: Imagine what they will say when I tell them Shane Hollander fucks over his employees both literally and figuratively.

    Shane: For fuck’s sake.
    Shane: You’re not my manny anymore.
    Shane: You’re my husband.

    Ilya: 🥹

    Shane: Are you about to get really emotional again because I called you my husband?

    Ilya: YES.

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    01 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander doesn't fight. That's what everyone always says. But that doesn't mean that he can't, when someone fucks with what matters.

    During Shane’s first season as a Centaur, he learns to ignore it when the Metros start throwing chirps his way. But when one of them goes after his husband in the one way that could actually hurt him, Shane handles it the logical way: he drops his gloves. (And later, he drops to his knees.)

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    01 Jun 2026

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    Ilya goes on a roadie while Shane is still on LTIR.

    LISA: Whatever rocks your socks

    NICOLE: Whatever tickles your fancy

    CASSIE: Whatever flips your pancake

    SELENA: Whatever turns your crank

    CAITLIN: Whatever fondles your goose

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    31 May 2026