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  1. Public Bookmark 45

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    Summary

    Why are you here; why are we here? Ilya kisses the girl in front of him. The kiss lasts seventeen seconds, Shane counts, what are we doing? Ilya is dragging the tender, ugly parts of them out here for everyone to see. Seventeen seconds, or at least until Rose leans in and Shane insistently presses his mouth on hers to remind himself of what he wants.

    The kiss breaks. Shane has to leave, his body lurching. When he meets Ilya's eyes, he sees the gesture for what it really is: a reminder of his place.

    or; Shane tries. He really does.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,040
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    218
    Bookmarks:
    45
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    02 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    It is December, and Scott has been out for long enough to pretend to be used to it, and things are not perfect but they’re fucking good, and Ilya Rozanov is at his apartment for dinner—has been for over an hour—and he’s still waiting so stupidly hopefully to introduce a boyfriend who very, very clearly isn’t coming.

    (Or: studies on coming out, learning patience, one-sided conversations, and other absurdist waiting games.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,255
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    181
    Kudos:
    955
    Bookmarks:
    240
    Hits:
    7,209

    02 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “There’s no need to help. Everything is fine,” Ilya tries to reassure him and wraps his arms around Shane’s waist, pulling him closer. “Come here. Give me a kiss.”

    Give me a kiss.

    The words echo loudly inside his head.

    It’s not how he used to say it.

    Back when words didn’t come so easily and back when he was too scared to ask for what he wanted, everything was simpler and smaller.

    OR: As Ilya's English gets better, his Russian gets a little rusty. So, he has a crisis about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,864
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    277
    Kudos:
    2,336
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    587
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    15,583

    28 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Hello,” Ilya repeats, still kind of stuck on those freckles.

    “Hi?” the man says.

    “Hi,” Ilya says—again.

    Oh god, he's said hello three times now. He should literally say anything else. His name, probably. His phone number, preferably.

    “Hi,” Ilya says again, because he can’t help it. “I am—”

    “Are you Nick?” the man asks, and it comes out as a breathless sound.

    OR: Shane gets stood up on a blind date, and Ilya comes to the rescue, and proceeds to make a series of questionable decisions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,879
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    2,466
    Kudos:
    5,646
    Bookmarks:
    1,788
    Hits:
    100,591

    28 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating. 

    The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice. 

    “I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”

    Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.

    “Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"

    Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little. 

    -
    Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,785
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    1,367
    Kudos:
    4,167
    Bookmarks:
    1,529
    Hits:
    99,232

    21 May 2026