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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    It might have been easier to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness. But his boyfriend was a dangerous thing right now, and God help him, Ilya couldn’t resist. He liked it when Shane’s sharp edges caught his soft sides, when all of his intensity bubbled onto the surface.

    “Did you want me to sign your tits too, Hollander?” he asked. “Make things even?”

    There was some saying about playing stupid games.

    Or: a drunken fan interaction was making its rounds on social media, and Ilya knew that apologies weren’t cheap.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,281
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    123
    Kudos:
    1,386
    Bookmarks:
    302
    Hits:
    10,633

    30 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    A few months after Ilya joins the Centaurs, his apartment gets a gas leak. It's a perfectly inconvenient time to be out of housing, but luckily, Yuna and David come to the rescue. Now, Ilya just has to survive a week living with in-laws that may or may not hate his guts.

    As it turns out, his expectations could not have been more subverted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,685
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    754
    Kudos:
    19,897
    Bookmarks:
    3,982
    Hits:
    117,543

    30 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 17

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    “SURPRIIIIIIIISE!”

    Ilya flinched back, nearly stumbling off the steps and into a potted plant at sidewalk level. “Shto, blyat’—”

    Someone grabbed his wrist and yanked him inside. “Happy birthday!”

    Ilya's first birthday as a Bear. AKA, Ilya's first birthday party in America. AKA, Ilya's first birthday party in a long, long time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,033
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    188
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    679

    29 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya had told Shane to go. He would make it four nights without him. They couldn't stop everything every time Ilya was tired, or they'd never do fucking anything. Shane had not liked that answer at all.

    Ilya has a depressive episode while Shane is at a photoshoot. Shane comes home early.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,757
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    757
    Bookmarks:
    109
    Hits:
    7,110

    29 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    "I wanted you to be there in the bar and tell this guy to fuck off. I wanted you to put your arm around me, to kiss my cheek or my hair or my jaw, or… I don't know, grab my ass like a freak. I wanted to say I was taken. I know we can't do any of that, in public, really. Of course I know that."

    Shane tipped his head back. "But I want… I want you to want to claim me. Maybe it's weird for me to want this? I know it's nice to say that you don't own someone, because we're people, not objects. But I've always—"

    Cutting himself off, he took a shaky breath. Why was this so hard to say?

    "Is not weird to want," Ilya said quietly.

    Or, Shane wants to be owned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,527
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    1,447
    Bookmarks:
    294
    Hits:
    9,151

    29 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Harris: Hi, Shane!
    Harris: This is Harris Drover.
    Harris: I got your number from Ilya.
    Harris: Sorry to bother you, but I had a question.
    Harris: I know you’re coming in to sign contracts tomorrow, and I had an idea for a social media thing to announce your signing, if you’d be up for it?

    Shane: Oh, yeah, okay.
    Shane: I’ll be there, so we can do whatever.
    Shane: Always happy to help the team with a little internet humiliation that’ll be around for decades.

    Harris: Perfect!
    Harris: I promise, I think you’ll really like this, though.
    Harris: No humiliation involved.
    Harris: The only caveat is, you can’t tell Ilya.

    Shane: Okay?
    Shane: Why?

    Harris: Well.
    Harris: Here’s what I’m thinking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,450
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    905
    Kudos:
    24,383
    Bookmarks:
    2,724
    Hits:
    95,491

    29 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark 70

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    Ilya sneezed, and immediately regretted it.

    Shane turned slowly to look at him, his dark eyes narrowed. “What,” he said slowly, “was that?”

    “Nothing,” Ilya said, hoping that the congestion was more mental than audible.

    Then he sneezed again.

    “Are you fucking serious?”

    “The thing is,” Ilya started.

    “You specifically told me that you weren't sick!”

    “In my defense,” Ilya said, missing haughty and hitting raspy instead, “it was not supposed to rain.”

    Ilya and Shane's first camping trip immediately goes south when they realize Ilya has a cold

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,341
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    389
    Bookmarks:
    70
    Hits:
    3,863

    28 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    And yeah, Shane knew that Ilya hadn’t been okay last time he was in Russia, but Ilya had had the very real excuse of a funeral to blame things on. Ilya had downplayed it as much as he could, and Shane hadn’t been there, he’d heard the fatigue and he’d seen Ilya’s tired smile, but he hadn’t felt the way Ilya’s hands were cold the entire time he was there, hadn’t seen through the screen the way Ilya dropped eight pounds in three weeks, hadn’t kept time when there were twenty hours in Ilya’s day instead of something closer to sixteen. Or, on the flip side, for the week or two after, when there had been approximately ten conscious hours in a day.

    It was one thing to see something. It was another to feel it in your hands.

    Ilya and Shane are so, so happy for their first year married. They’re playing in Ottawa together, they’re fucking winning, they’re together and out.

    So now, after a year, Ilya should be fine. He should be great. He should not be flinching at small noises or nearly punching people off the clock or feeling like he’s drowning whenever he’s not on the ice.

    Or: Ilya Rozanov, meet your PTSD.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,093
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    508
    Kudos:
    1,017
    Bookmarks:
    424
    Hits:
    26,156

    28 Jun 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Men do not cry. Ilya knows this, as much as he knows that being strong is only part of the battle ahead of him; being seen to be strong matters more. Ilya is twelve years old, and no longer a child. It has been four long, brittle days since his mother— since her accident.

    The practice rink is busy, tonight. Under the stern tutelage of Coach Baranov, everyone here is fighting to justify their time on the ice. Hockey, Baranov tells them, often, is not a team sport. Hockey is an act of violence, and of endurance.

    Ilya believes he is practiced at both.

    -

    Six times Ilya gets his teeth knocked out (not metaphorically), and learns to heal a little trauma

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,940
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    116
    Kudos:
    624
    Bookmarks:
    154
    Hits:
    9,653

    28 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating. 

    The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice. 

    “I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”

    Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.

    “Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"

    Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little. 

    -
    Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    90,785
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    1,742
    Kudos:
    6,130
    Bookmarks:
    2,308
    Hits:
    153,099

    28 Jun 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane and Ilya sign with Ottawa on July 1st 2018. It goes startlingly well (apart from all the bits that don't).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    126,030
    Chapters:
    38/38
    Comments:
    7,936
    Kudos:
    7,594
    Bookmarks:
    1,305
    Hits:
    239,866

    27 Jun 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s a screenshot of a Tweet, on an Instagram page Ilya isn't even following. It seems to be one of those meme accounts that he’s aware of, yet, doesn’t indulge in for a lack of true, authentic understanding no matter how many times Ilya can try to explain to him during precious pillow talk time.

    “What is it?” He voices his confusion out loud, halfway towards handing Ilya his phone back before he stops, staring at the screen once more.

    Ilya is smiling hard, flashing all of his teeth, when he says: “It is you. See?”

    The tweet, with its five thousand odd reposts, and eight hundred quotes, screenshotted onto a random Instagram page has generated about eighty thousand likes there, too, with about a couple hundred comments that he doesn’t bother to open.

    It reads: 'hes so pretty i wish we were seahorses so i can impregnate him'

    First of all, it’s horrendously grammatically incorrect with its lack of capitalisation and apostrophes. And second of all… Shane doesn’t quite follow how this is supposed to be ‘him’ in any sense of the word, like, at all.

    or: an shane has feelings about mpreg, racism and feminisation

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,016
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    629
    Bookmarks:
    115
    Hits:
    6,430

    27 Jun 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    “So,” Ilya then says, sounding the word out slowly, as if tasting it on his tongue. “You cannot jizz? Like you have… medical issue?”

    Shane huffs, shoulders sagging releasing some of the tension he’d been holding onto tightly there.

    “I… don’t know,” he admits quietly. “I’ve never spoke to a doctor about it, it’s too embarrassing.” He swallows and feels his face get warm again. “I can get close though, and… and I can do other stuff just not, well, that.

    Ilya’s mouth teases a smile. “Other stuff?” He enquires. “You mean… how wet you get?”

    Shane’s jaw almost drops into the bedsheets below him before he’s gathering it back up, blinking rapidly at what Rozanov had just said to him.

    Granted, he’d just walked in on him fucking his own ass with a bright pink dildo, but there was still some margin for a little bit of class, wasn’t there?

    or: shane’s never experienced a real orgasm before and ilya is willing to help him out

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,949
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    935
    Bookmarks:
    111
    Hits:
    6,928

    27 Jun 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane had everything he'd ever wanted, plus a girlfriend. Ilya Rozanov was not his problem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,566
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    307
    Kudos:
    1,757
    Bookmarks:
    468
    Hits:
    28,977

    27 Jun 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Uh, actually,” Shane says. He clears his throat, picks at something on his shirt. “Actually, I’m…”

    “Daddyyyyyy! Make Ruby stop pushing me! Daddyyy!”

    “I’m, um…” Shane says.

    Hayden thinks maybe he can’t hear Shane over the girls screaming, because he keeps missing the rest of that sentence. “What?”

    “I’m gay,” Shane spits out. “So.”

    -----

    Shane comes out, first to his best friend, and then, in the first regular game of the 2017-2018 season, to the rest of his team.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,456
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    2,017
    Bookmarks:
    239
    Hits:
    15,475

    26 Jun 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    “Ilya, what are we gonna do?” Shane says.

    Ilya finishes whatever he has been doing on his phone, and tosses it gently to the bed beside him. He crosses the room to Shane, stands in front of him, squeezes into his shoulders with his big hands, rubbing them like he means to warm them up.

    “Looks like we will have a little vacation,” he says, with a big obnoxious grin.

     


     

    Boston and Montreal are sent to Paris to play against each other in an exhibition series in January 2017. Ilya and Shane decide to stay in Paris for one more night. Just one more night, so they can talk. Maybe finally understand each other.

    They aren't expecting a volcano to erupt in Iceland and close all the airspace in Europe, leaving them stranded there. Together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    127,267
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    4,094
    Kudos:
    13,742
    Bookmarks:
    6,029
    Hits:
    418,636

    26 Jun 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    When the Hollander family trip to Moscow comes to an end, 8-year-old Shane swears he's never going to see Ilya again. He parts from his summer friend with a heavy heart and the certainty that that's the end of their budding friendship.

    Over a decade later, Ilya walks into his life again, all grown and handsome; his thick accent is a hint, but what gives his identity away is the bracelet tied around his wrist. There should be no reason for Ilya to be in Montreal, and yet here he is.

    Shane takes a deep breath and reintroduces himself, completely unaware of the whirlwind Ilya is about to take him in.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,580
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    799
    Bookmarks:
    196
    Hits:
    10,031

    24 Jun 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    "Stop asking me if it's okay. If I want it. You're always, like—whatever. I'm not one of your fucking girls, okay? If I don't like it, I'll stop you. I can make you stop."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,262
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    943
    Kudos:
    6,591
    Bookmarks:
    1,718
    Hits:
    106,030

    23 Jun 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    When Ilya answers, he’s greeted with a whimpered moan that goes straight to his head, leaving him reeling like he’s just thrown back another shot. His mouth drops open, the cigarette dangling stupidly from his lower lip for a second until he plucks it free with his other hand.

    Holy fuck. He must be dreaming. But the rough breaths filtering into his ear are too real, tethering him tightly to the moment.

    “Jane,” he murmurs, gleeful and shocked. “This is not like you.”

    *

    Or: after Shane confesses that he can struggle to get off if he's too stressed, Ilya suggests he should just call him next time. He doesn't think Shane would ever be desperate enough to go through with it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,098
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    399
    Kudos:
    3,424
    Bookmarks:
    668
    Hits:
    19,205

    22 Jun 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    "We should – in the shower, maybe? The water would cover up any…” Hollander clears his throat awkwardly. “Noises.”

    Ilya stares at him. A thoroughly entertained grin spreads slowly across his face. “Noises,” he repeats.

    Hollander opens his mouth, closes it again. His lips are so swollen. Ilya wants to bite them. “Well, do you want him to hear everything?” 

    “You think walls are made of paper?” Ilya asks incredulously.

    “I’m just saying…”

    Ilya’s voice drops into a low, teasing purr. “You are telling me you can’t control yourself, Hollander, is that it? Now that you don’t have cock in your mouth, you will be too loud. You are worried you cannot keep all those pretty moans to yourself?”

    *

    Or: Shane's worried they'll be overheard in room 1221. He has a very sensible solution. Ilya has other ideas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,729
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    189
    Kudos:
    1,389
    Bookmarks:
    296
    Hits:
    10,229

    22 Jun 2026

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