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What cannot be begotten can still be given by statistically_improbable
Fandoms: Temeraire - Naomi Novik
01 Nov 2025
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Laurence and young Bertram had evidently been practicing fencing, if the two wooden rapiers lying in the grass were anything to go by, but at some point Laurence had gotten a hold on the boy and was now twirling the child in circles, flung over his shoulder like a sack of grain, as they both laughed bright as the sun. With their golden hair and elegant features, they could have been father and son, and Tharkay had a sudden, horrifying realization that he had miscalculated.
Tharkay, upon discovering that Laurence loves children, realizes he might want some of his own someday. He proceeds to severely overreact to this revelation.
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
08 Jun 2026
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What cannot be begotten can still be given
Laurence and young Bertram had evidently been practicing fencing, if the two wooden rapiers lying in the grass were anything to go by, but at some point Laurence had gotten a hold on the boy and was now twirling the child in circles, flung over his shoulder like a sack of grain, as they both laughed bright as the sun. With their golden hair and elegant features, they could have been father and son, and Tharkay had a sudden, horrifying realization that he had miscalculated.
Tharkay, upon discovering that Laurence loves children, realizes he might want some of his own someday. He proceeds to severely overreact to this revelation.
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She wasn't a hero, but that's fine, this world had heroes. She wasn't a warrior, but there were enough of those. She wasn't a sniper, an intelligence officer, or a mechanic. Wasn't even a doctor for all that being one would actually be useful. No, Elisa was - had always been - a chemist. Now if only she'd woken up in a world where that didn't paint a huge target on her back! SI-OC
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07 Jun 2026
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Fugazi
She wasn't a hero, but that's fine, this world had heroes. She wasn't a warrior, but there were enough of those. She wasn't a sniper, an intelligence officer, or a mechanic. Wasn't even a doctor for all that being one would actually be useful. No, Elisa was - had always been - a chemist. Now if only she'd woken up in a world where that didn't paint a huge target on her back! SI-OC
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Aegon, third son of Baelon, survives the infection of his first year. He coughs and cries horribly for such a young babe, and pusses out the eyes no matter how often the Maesters wash his face, but he lives.
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07 Jun 2026
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Silly Love Songs
Aegon, third son of Baelon, survives the infection of his first year. He coughs and cries horribly for such a young babe, and pusses out the eyes no matter how often the Maesters wash his face, but he lives.
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In a world obsessed with killing and dying, Seiko is mostly concerned with chasing off her boredom. The Academy wasn’t exactly intellectually stimulating, but dying in the second shinobi war sounded like a long walk off a short pier. Everyone is always so stressed about avoiding attention, or min-maxing skills in situations like this.
Seiko is of the opinion that those people need to chill the hell out. Maybe play a little shogi. Death comes for them all anyways. Better to enjoy this all while it lasts.
(genius self insert stumbles into disrupting a timeline with the intentionality of an elephant trampling a very fancy tea shop.)
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- English
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- 94,835
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- 17/?
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- 52
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- 1,865
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Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
07 Jun 2026
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fluffy clouds and a tinge of wonder
In a world obsessed with killing and dying, Seiko is mostly concerned with chasing off her boredom. The Academy wasn’t exactly intellectually stimulating, but dying in the second shinobi war sounded like a long walk off a short pier. Everyone is always so stressed about avoiding attention, or min-maxing skills in situations like this.
Seiko is of the opinion that those people need to chill the hell out. Maybe play a little shogi. Death comes for them all anyways. Better to enjoy this all while it lasts.
(genius self insert stumbles into disrupting a timeline with the intentionality of an elephant trampling a very fancy tea shop.)
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Present Company Included by call_lightning
Fandom Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
19 Oct 2021
- Words:
- 27,964
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 7
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
07 Jun 2026
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Present Company Included
“Sweater curse” (definition), aka. “curse of the love sweater”: A term used by knitters to describe the belief that if a knitter gives a sweater to a significant other, it will lead to the recipient breaking up with the knitter. In an alternative formulation of the myth, the relationship will end before the sweater is ever completed.
Felix tries to knit Sylvain a sweater, despite the old wives’ tales about a curse.
It takes him a while; ten years, to be exact.
This is how it goes.
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The Time When Felix Forgot To Come Out by clocloclover
Fandoms: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
04 Mar 2023
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'“This isn’t exactly how I expected this to go.” Sylvain laughed nervously. Felix brought his hands up to cover his eyes. Would it be too much to ask the Goddess to smite him right this very moment?
“How exactly did you expect this to go?” Felix asked, scared of the answer.
“Well, uh, I was kind of planning on seducing you and then we would fuck.”
“Enlightening. Go put on some pants.” Felix sighed as he turned to start blowing out candles.'
OR
Five times Felix forgot to come out as asexual + the one time he actually remembered.
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
06 Jun 2026
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The Time When Felix Forgot To Come Out
'“This isn’t exactly how I expected this to go.” Sylvain laughed nervously. Felix brought his hands up to cover his eyes. Would it be too much to ask the Goddess to smite him right this very moment?
“How exactly did you expect this to go?” Felix asked, scared of the answer.
“Well, uh, I was kind of planning on seducing you and then we would fuck.”
“Enlightening. Go put on some pants.” Felix sighed as he turned to start blowing out candles.'
OR
Five times Felix forgot to come out as asexual + the one time he actually remembered.
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'“Is there….” Sylvain said slowly, “Can I do something? To help you forgive me?”
“No.” Felix said bitterly. “You can’t take this one back, Sylvain.”
“Oh.” Sylvain looked at the tile underneath their feet. “I’m sorry.”
“You fucking should be.” Felix told him. He turned off the sink and the shower.
“What do we do now?” Sylvain asked.
“We wait until Ingrid lets us out.”
“...I’m sorry.”
“Shut up.”'OR
Felix and Sylvain are lifelong best friends, long term friends-with-benefits, and have been roommates for about six months now. Felix is in love with Sylvain. Both of them know that.
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
06 Jun 2026
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Easy
'“Is there….” Sylvain said slowly, “Can I do something? To help you forgive me?”
“No.” Felix said bitterly. “You can’t take this one back, Sylvain.”
“Oh.” Sylvain looked at the tile underneath their feet. “I’m sorry.”
“You fucking should be.” Felix told him. He turned off the sink and the shower.
“What do we do now?” Sylvain asked.
“We wait until Ingrid lets us out.”
“...I’m sorry.”
“Shut up.”'OR
Felix and Sylvain are lifelong best friends, long term friends-with-benefits, and have been roommates for about six months now. Felix is in love with Sylvain. Both of them know that.
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Hopes and Expectations by SeraphStarshine
Fandoms: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
05 Jun 2026
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"I want to lose my virginity."
Felix storms into Sylvain's room like a force of nature, slamming the door behind him before announcing one of the last statements Sylvain ever thought he'd hear coming from his best friend's mouth.
In his hurry to sit up, he almost falls off the bed. Probably the least smooth thing he could do, really. “What?” he manages to ask even though his tongue suddenly feels too big for his mouth.
Sylvain is perfectly content ignoring the fact that he is in love with Felix for the rest of his life until Felix decides he wants to lose his virginity...and he wants Sylvain to be the one to help him do it.
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06 Jun 2026
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Hopes and Expectations
"I want to lose my virginity."
Felix storms into Sylvain's room like a force of nature, slamming the door behind him before announcing one of the last statements Sylvain ever thought he'd hear coming from his best friend's mouth.
In his hurry to sit up, he almost falls off the bed. Probably the least smooth thing he could do, really. “What?” he manages to ask even though his tongue suddenly feels too big for his mouth.
Sylvain is perfectly content ignoring the fact that he is in love with Felix for the rest of his life until Felix decides he wants to lose his virginity...and he wants Sylvain to be the one to help him do it.
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When their five-year-old daughter takes an interest in Caleb's magical textbooks, he and Essek start discussing how she might one day learn the family trade.
Nobody planned for sorcery.
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
05 Jun 2026
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all will be well
When their five-year-old daughter takes an interest in Caleb's magical textbooks, he and Essek start discussing how she might one day learn the family trade.
Nobody planned for sorcery.
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He recognized the purpose of the wrap fairly quickly, thinking of the times in recent years where he had to wrap his own injured joints while unable to afford a health potion. And when the Shadowhand graciously taught him a couple dunamancy spells in exchange for future favors, this revelation led to Caleb piecing together the purpose of the metal around each of Essek’s fingers, Caleb watching them closely as the other caster demonstrated his spell. They were splints.
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A story about Essek having EDS, and Caleb wanting to help him manage it.Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
05 Jun 2026
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My Condition
He recognized the purpose of the wrap fairly quickly, thinking of the times in recent years where he had to wrap his own injured joints while unable to afford a health potion. And when the Shadowhand graciously taught him a couple dunamancy spells in exchange for future favors, this revelation led to Caleb piecing together the purpose of the metal around each of Essek’s fingers, Caleb watching them closely as the other caster demonstrated his spell. They were splints.
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A story about Essek having EDS, and Caleb wanting to help him manage it. -
fatality by Chrome
Fandoms: Critical Role: Campaign 2 - The Mighty Nein (Web Series), Critical Role: Exandria (Web Series)
29 May 2021
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“What happened to there is always a way, Essek Thelyss?”
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In the Blooming Grove, Essek and Caleb talk about the future, or lack thereof.
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05 Jun 2026
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fatality
“What happened to there is always a way, Essek Thelyss?”
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In the Blooming Grove, Essek and Caleb talk about the future, or lack thereof. -
The Light at the End of the Spider Tunnel by Chailily
Fandoms: Critical Role (Web Series)
01 Mar 2025
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Drow are quite inconveniently sensitive to daylight. Essek considers it a burden to both himself and his traveling companions.
When fighting off an onslaught of light-sensitive Aeorian spiders, Essek has to confront the fact that the Nein might not consider him an inconvenience at all.
———
The spiders pressed in further. Essek gave a flippant gesture with one arm, to the tune of ‘just do it already—I am not so fragile.’
‘Fajar’, Caleb said as he relented, hoisting the orb into the air. The driftglobe exploded like the sun itself.
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
05 Jun 2026
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The Light at the End of the Spider Tunnel
Drow are quite inconveniently sensitive to daylight. Essek considers it a burden to both himself and his traveling companions.
When fighting off an onslaught of light-sensitive Aeorian spiders, Essek has to confront the fact that the Nein might not consider him an inconvenience at all.
———
The spiders pressed in further. Essek gave a flippant gesture with one arm, to the tune of ‘just do it already—I am not so fragile.’‘Fajar’, Caleb said as he relented, hoisting the orb into the air. The driftglobe exploded like the sun itself.
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somewhere between threat and mercy by TaraLaurel
Fandoms: Critical Role: Exandria (Web Series), The Mighty Nein (Cartoon)
20 Dec 2025
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**MAJOR SPOILERS FOR 1X06!! DO NOT READ BELOW!!**
“Do you have any idea,” Essek demands, voice breaking at last, “what it is like to murder your own mother?”
For a heartbeat, Caleb does not move.
Then he nods.
“Yes,” he says. “I do.”A re-imagining of the confrontation from episode 97 from the original campaign, with this new alternate Essek backstory from the animated series, told from Essek's POV. Mostly Caleb and Essek focused, with some canon Jester and Caduceus dialogue.
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05 Jun 2026
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somewhere between threat and mercy
“Do you have any idea,” Essek demands, voice breaking at last, “what it is like to murder your own mother?”
For a heartbeat, Caleb does not move.
Then he nods.
“Yes,” he says. “I do.”A re-imagining of the confrontation from episode 97 from the original campaign, with this new alternate Essek backstory from the animated series, told from Essek's POV. Mostly Caleb and Essek focused, with some canon Jester and Caduceus dialogue.
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- Words:
- 701
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 10
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
05 Jun 2026
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love, run
"Beauregard, are you sure this is legal?" Bren (no, Caleb, his name is Caleb now) asks. He watches as Beauregard Lionett, 9 years old and a spitfire, pulls a wire from her pocket and starts to twist it.
"Who cares?" she says. "If they won't let us in, I can get us in."
Caleb sighs. "Beauregard." He grabs the girl's hands so she stops trying to bend the metal wire into a lock-pick. "It's just a library. I only wanted to visit the Cobalt Soul because I enjoy books. We don't need to break in if they don't let us visit."
"But I want to break in," Beauregard counters. Caleb sighs.
or, Caleb and Beauregard visit the Cobalt Soul library in Zadash.
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here is a world where you love your executioner by hanap
Fandom Critical Role (Web Series)
14 Dec 2025
- Words:
- 86,493
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 60
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
05 Jun 2026
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here is a world where you love your executioner
It's a nice day. They can take their time. Essek will be asleep for a while yet.
[In which the Mighty Nein get ready for a baby shower.]
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“You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.
“I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”
He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.
When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.
(the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)
(or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,094
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,054
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- 16,528
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- 4,803
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- 137,228
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
05 Jun 2026
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strike-slip tectonics
“You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.
“I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”
He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.
When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.
(the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)
(or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)
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Sweet Music Playing in the Dark by theki11erandthefina1gir1
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV)
07 Jun 2026
- Words:
- 87,860
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 301
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05 Jun 2026
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Sweet Music Playing in the Dark
It's Shane Hollander's first season in Ottawa, and the whole Centaurs roster is playing better than they ever have. So why won't the press focus on that? Why do he and Ilya keep having to answer questions about their marriage, and not get to talk about the incredible start to the season that their team is having? Maybe if they do one podcast, with hosts who are normal people, they can just tell their whole story and focus on bringing the Stanley Cup to Ottawa.
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or, Shane and Ilya do a sports podcast run by lesbians for members of the LGBTQ+ community, and the internet reacts. -
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'“How the fuck are we meant to steal a dragon?” Sokka asked, conveniently and concisely summing up Katara’s thoughts.
She didn’t even have the energy to pull him up on cursing in front of their resident twelve year old. How the fuck indeed.'
or
Aang, Katara and Sokka have one more quest before they can be done with the gods for good. Dealing with the king and queen of the underworld can't be that hard, right?
Series
- Part 6 of Many, Many, Many Worlds
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,336
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 68
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- 1,462
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- 301
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- 8,911
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
04 Jun 2026
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Walk Beside Me
'“How the fuck are we meant to steal a dragon?” Sokka asked, conveniently and concisely summing up Katara’s thoughts.
She didn’t even have the energy to pull him up on cursing in front of their resident twelve year old. How the fuck indeed.'
or
Aang, Katara and Sokka have one more quest before they can be done with the gods for good. Dealing with the king and queen of the underworld can't be that hard, right? -
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Summary
Ygraine’s blood is taken downstairs. She doesn’t want Arthur to see her bare arm. It’s too intimate.
It doesn’t matter what the result of the test is, she knows she doesn’t know him.
Her mum opens the envelope for her when it comes because she can’t bear to do it herself. Mum and Ector sit on the one side of the purple table in Ygraine’s grey little, sad little flat and read while she buries herself in her arms and dread on the other side.
Mum puts the letter down on the table.No one speaks until Ygraine cannot stifle her sobs any longer.
She never asked for a son.
(King Arthur returns in the modern era. Soon after, Ygraine's not-quite-ex husband announces that he is the guy's father and he is willing to take a blood test to prove it. When the test comes back positive, Ygraine is forced to make space in her life for a son she can't remember and never actually wanted to have.)
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
04 Jun 2026
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a taught reflex
Ygraine’s blood is taken downstairs. She doesn’t want Arthur to see her bare arm. It’s too intimate.
It doesn’t matter what the result of the test is, she knows she doesn’t know him.
Her mum opens the envelope for her when it comes because she can’t bear to do it herself. Mum and Ector sit on the one side of the purple table in Ygraine’s grey little, sad little flat and read while she buries herself in her arms and dread on the other side.
Mum puts the letter down on the table.No one speaks until Ygraine cannot stifle her sobs any longer.
She never asked for a son.
(King Arthur returns in the modern era. Soon after, Ygraine's not-quite-ex husband announces that he is the guy's father and he is willing to take a blood test to prove it. When the test comes back positive, Ygraine is forced to make space in her life for a son she can't remember and never actually wanted to have.)
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The Everyday Married Life: Vigilantism, Paperwork, Sting Operations, and Tax Evasion by ohshiddlesticks
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
06 Oct 2021
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Aizawa Shouta is a man who likes everyday things like loving his husband and catching criminals. He does not, however, enjoy that the latter causes paperwork that limits the former. He finds a way around it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,823
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 2,376
- Bookmarks:
- 501
- Hits:
- 10,879
Bookmarked by AllIWantToDoIsRead
03 Jun 2026
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The Everyday Married Life: Vigilantism, Paperwork, Sting Operations, and Tax Evasion
Aizawa Shouta is a man who likes everyday things like loving his husband and catching criminals. He does not, however, enjoy that the latter causes paperwork that limits the former. He finds a way around it.