Oh my gosh, it has taken me so long to write a response because I was overcome with emotion when I first saw your comment—I genuinely cried—and then could not find the words.
I am so glad this fic could be cathartic for you! Writing this was cathartic for me as well. I'd nearly scrapped the fic because I'd felt like I had lost control of it, so to see that it has landed for others and that you've picked up on all the things I wanted to express brings me immense relief and joy. I spent a lot of time thinking about Caleb's pragmatism versus Essek's cowardice and how that would inform their approaches to death, and I am so pleased that the result reads as realistic to their characters!! The two lines you called out are honestly my favorites that I wrote, so I am beyond thrilled that they would stand out to you as well.
While writing, I developed all these thoughts on what a future partner of Essek's would be like and how they would meet. Ultimately I preferred leaving this ambiguous for the reader (and Caleb) to wonder about and fill in themselves, but as a little bonus tidbit: one of the central ideas I kept returning to is that he would perhaps be an alchemist—a nod to the way Essek's unexpected bond with Yeza would continue to resonate in his life even centuries later. I was rather taken with the thought of "the way that your narrative foil can irreversibly change your life" ➡️ "the way the personification of the consequences of your wrongs can, too", and of course it would serve as yet another indication of how Essek would grow independently from Caleb's influence as he moved on. But that concept starts to become a whole other story!
Thank you so, so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts with me! 💜 Words cannot express how touched I was by your comment. (Also, hey, hello, hi, I love and admire so many of your fics!!)
Comment on time will come
mieletthe Wed 17 Aug 2022 06:56AM UTC
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