Chapter Text
“Oh,” both of Shane’s cousins immediately stopped splashing around and looked at him. Addison looked weirded out already, “With what?”
“Okay, uhm… so, let's say I'm in a hypothetical situation where I could be dealing with a person who has been texting me a lot and flirting with me,” he started. Both girls instantly decided this was now the most important conversation to ever exist, so they climbed out of the water entirely and stood closer to him while Shane closed his eyes, already knowing they were going to get painfully over-involved in this.
He was nervous. But he desperately needed the help.
“Who is it?” Addison asked.
“Don’t ask too many questions please,” he begged, so Jenny slapped her sister to shut her up.
“I won’t, sorry. Please continue. So, this… person,” Addison murmured. Shane closed his eyes in stress, "Has been flirting for a while? And have you been flirting back? Do you like them?”
“Aha. But now, all of a sudden, this person called me their boyfriend,” Shane continued. Both girls looked shocked, “So I’m just wondering if that is normal behavior? Like, obviously you guys know, I’ve never been in a situation like this before so I don’t know what’s normal or not… also, keep in mind this person is from Russia.”
“Why is that relevant?”
“I don’t know. That’s what I’ve been using as an excuse for their odd behavior.”
“Ah, right,” Jenny murmured and nodded for a second as she considered that, “Maybe in their country you just start calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend right away, but in here that’s not how you do it, okay? There has to be a conversation about it, since it’s… you know, kind of a big deal. To be someone’s boyfriend means you two are in a relationship. And she…”
“I never said it was a she,” Shane snapped.
The girls immediately looked at each other with new understanding. Shane gulped, knowing the cat was now out of the bag. He had made it obvious enough.
“Well… if it’s not a she, then things are vastly different, Shane. I mean, if it’s anything closer to a she, then you’d have to be the one to ask them to be your theyfriend and you'd have to make it cute, but if it’s something closer to a he… I guess they should ask you? And make it cute?”
Shane closed his eyes and took a deep breath. There was no point in dragging this out.
“It is a he,” Shane finally admitted.
Both girls very visibly wanted to completely freak out, but instead they grabbed each other dramatically and somehow managed to keep each other under control.
“Please don’t make a big deal out of this. And don’t tell anyone.”
“Of course not!” they both immediately exclaimed at the same time.
“We won't tell anyone, don't be stupid,” Addison continued, “But you’ve been flirting with a gay Russian guy? What the fuck, Shane? You should’ve told us yesterday, the gossip sesh would’ve been so much juicier.”
“I mean, he’s bisexual. And I’m not sure about this whole thing. I mean he’s kinda pushy and intense, but I do like him… I just want to know why he just called me his boyfriend. Like…? We haven’t even had a full-on conversation in person.”
The girls forced him to sit down properly and explain everything from the beginning.
Shane did. From the first time Ilya went to his hockey game to taunt him, until this last text calling him his boyfriend.
“No, Shane. No, no, no, you are not his boyfriend,” Jenny concluded firmly, “He’s jumping like three hundred steps ahead. At the very least, he has to take you out on a date. He can’t just push you into a corner and call you his boyfriend just because he feels like it. I don’t care how Russians do things, he has to treat you right. Or I’ll go have some words with him.”
“Please don’t.”
“Okay, then don’t let him treat you like you have no voice and will just do everything he wants," Addison added.
Shane nodded slowly, taking in all the advice because honestly, he desperately needed it.
“Alright, girls… thanks. I’ll go see what he’s saying now. Ah, by the way, can you take some pictures of me? For him? He’s always asking me for them but I don’t really have any.”
“Hell yeah,” Jenny smiled like a demon, “I’ll make him want to call you his husband.”
-begin of chat-
To: Ilya Rozanov Football
Sat, 13 Jun 04:01 PM
Character A:
Oh no, are you actually mad at me?
I will never tell u to shut up ever in my life again
Shane pleaase
Shane🥺
Shane🥺
Shane🥺
Sweet cheeks🥺
Pretty boy🥺
You're the prettiest I have ever seen
I do not want u to shut up
To Jesus I will repent
Please do not punish me this way
Baby please
Baby baby baby like Justin Bieber song
Of course u know who that is right?
Canadian boy, very cute
He has pretty brown eyes just like u
But u are still waaaay cuter
I'm sorry I keep talking about him
I dont want secrets between us tho, so I have to admit I used to have a crush on him way back
Watching his videos made me feel funny things in my pants hahah then I felt so guilty I had to stop watching them lol
Don't get jealous this was like way way back
Im over it now, u are the only Canadian boy for me 💙
He's married I think?
Shanya, please answer? U should know if Justin bieber is married. I dont trust google
My food arrived 😮💨😮💨 im so so happy
Character A:
All that just for u?
Yeah
Im a growing boy, all I eat goes to my cock anyway 😉
Ok, enjoy
Would be nice if u had a healthy meal every so often though. I worry about you
Really? 🥹 ure so sweet
Maybe u could cook me healthy meals when we get married haha jk jk
👀
...
What?
Nothing, you're just getting way ahead of yourself
Damn, im not proposing yet, I know I should wait until we graduate
Just boyfriends for now 💙
Not even that
Huh?
Not even boyfriends
Yet
Why not?????
⁉️
U dont like me?
I do
But thats like a big deal and u should ask me if I want to be ur boyfriend before you start calling me that
Maybe even take me on a date before? Or something idk
Im not a girl but I want something more than you just deciding for me
Fuck
I was warned this relationship shit would be hard
Its ok tho, I will take u on a date and ask u like u deserve
You want flowers too?
Are u making fun of me?
Nooo I would never
If u dont like flowers what can I gift?
Idk
I do like plants in general, but not flowers
Okei noted ✍️
Are you mad at me about the Justin bieber thing?
No
Maybe a little? He is married and even has a kid. He's too old for you
Damn🙁
I mean, good for him
I used to think I could meet him if I moved to Canada lol and seduce him
Met u instead, so it was way better😍
Hm
So you have a type
I guess so
Canadian boys with pretty brown eyes 😍😍 u're so lucky he's married haha jk
Ok now I'm starting to get mad
Don't bring him up anymore
Okei sorryyy
Can I have a pic now?
Okay
Character A:
Character A:
😳
🤯
😵
Aaaaa help
Ure so hot u set my house on fir🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
You like them? 🙈 I did that just for u
Of course I fuckin like them, I was not expecting all that
I need you in my hands NOW
Ure so perfect I love your body and face and abs and biceps
And ass ofcours
Thankssss🙈
Send me one back?
I look super ugly rn but look
We went to Cancun in springbrake and we had a little photoshoot for the girls(and u💙)
Enjoy
Character A:
Character A:
Character A:
😌
You're unbelievably handsome
But why the fuck are you holding a lobster and wearing girl panties😭😭😭
Excuse me?
That's a 💸 GUCCI 💸 speedo for MEN
It looks like girl panties to me
Then u have no fashion knowledge
You're a gay disgrace🫵
Shame on you
And what's with the fake lobster😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I hate it
You really hate my pics? 😣
Yes
I mean, I like youuu so so much, you're the hottest guy alive probably
But the panties threw me off
I'm too gay to be into girl panties maybe
I will kill you, it's a speedo and NOT for girls
Sorry, the Gucci "speedo" threw me off and the fucking lobster took all my attention away from ur perfect body
I mean the more I look at it the more I hate it hahahah
Connors directed the shoot, it's his fault we used the lobster. He said girls like artistic dudes
I really don't think so Ilya it looks SO dumb
Hahahah
Hashahh
Stop sending haha is mean
I have to let you know im laughing
😒
Can u send me one without anything extra?
Character A:
Wow 😻😻😻😻 You are so damn beautiful, like a Russian angel
Thank u my baby 👨❤️💋👨
You don't need weird clothes or props, you look beautiful just like that🙈
Good to know 🥰 I will fire Connors from the creative production of my photoshoots
Thank god hahahaha
// Text marked as: Seen
-end of chat-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-begin of chat-
To: Ass Raiders Fam 🫃🫃🫃
Sat, 13 Jun 04:19 PM
Connors u're fired from taking pics of me
My boyfriend hated the lobster shoot in Cancun, he is still laughing at me as we speak
Daddy Connors🫃:
What? 😠
He's crazy or has no artistic eye at all
Can u remind me how many girls loved that shoot before him?
Cliffy🫃:
All my girls have loved the lobster shoot, daddy 😇
They thought it looked high couture
Well yes, my girls loved it but girls have the fashion eye
My man does not
We need to plan something better for next time
I need to impress him
Because I think I'm in love with him for real
I'm taking him out on a date on my birthday and I will ask him to be my boyfriend
Cliffy🫃:
Holy shit Roz, that's like serious serious shit
Are you ready for it?
SO ready
And you guys need to help me plan the most perfect gay boyfriend proposal
Start brainstorming now
// Text marked as: Seen
-end of chat-