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Trinity knocks on her door just after midnight.
Samira knows it’s Trinity knocking before she even opens the door. She always knocks in the same pattern: one long beat followed by two short ones. The smile that spreads across her face is a pavlovian response.
“Okay, before you say no, please let me explain,” Trinity says quickly, before Samira even greets her. She has a tote bag across one shoulder and another bag dangling from her hand, but she’s hiding it behind her back intentionally.
“Trin, what is that?” Samira asks, attempting to peek around her body. “Are you okay? Come inside.”
Before Trinity can take a step forward, there’s a loud meow that erupts from the mysterious bag. Samira stares at Trinity’s sheepish grin, then flicks her gaze down as Trinity reveals the cat carrier and holds it in front of her. “Um. Surprise?”
She sighs, then gestures again for Trinity to come inside. They head to the couch, where Trinity sets the bag down and turns to face her with a better attempt at a convincing smile. Samira raises an eyebrow.
“Okay, listen,” Trinity begins, palms outstretched in front of her. “I found her outside the hospital when I got off, and I brought her back to my place, but then Huckleberry started sneezing like crazy. Something about an allergy, or whatever. Look, I already got her some food and litter and even some toys, I promise I’ll pay for her vet visits, and—“
“Trinity,” Samira interrupts, “I spend most of my time at work, you know I’m not home enough to care for a cat—“
“But I can help,” Trinity insists, “I just can’t keep her at my apartment, but I want her so bad, she’s so cute, Mira.”
She spins around and unzips the carrier, dipping her hands inside and pulling the cat out gently. She makes soothing shushing sounds as she does it, running her fingers along her head to calm her. When Trinity turns back to Samira, her face is soft and tilted towards the animal in her arms.
The cat is small, but she’s not a kitten. The bottom half of her body is white, while her back and head are lined with ginger and brown patterns. Her green eyes blink up at Trinity as she allows herself to be held like a literal baby, unaffected by the two strangers staring at her. She is, unfortunately, extremely cute.
“I don’t know the first thing about taking care of a cat,” Samira says, even though she knows it’s a losing battle. “I can’t even keep plants alive.”
“Plants are different,” Trinity scoffs. “I’m telling you, we’re going to do this together, I promise! Look at her, she’s just so sweet.”
The cat purrs as Trinity continues to rub circles into her fur, and it brings a smile to her face. Samira watches in quiet awe at the openness of her affection. She’s only seen this much adoration on Trinity’s face when she’s caring for babies in the ER, and has never been this close to it to see it in detail. It’s a beautiful expression, and as she stands there unable to look away, she knows she’s going to do anything to make Trinity feel this happy again.
Samira groans. “Does she have a name?”
It’s a concession, and they both know it. Trinity beams back at her.
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Trinity tells her that the cat’s name is up to her. This is not a good decision.
Samira looks up Popular Cat Names and finds herself scrolling through pages of names that just don’t feel right. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t know the cat yet, and she’ll find the right one once she understands her personality better. So far the cat has spent the morning hiding under Samira’s bed, not tempted by any of the treats or toys Samira has tried to coax her out with.
Another quick Google search tells her this is normal, and eases some of the anxiety that the cat hates her. She sets up food and water bowls, places the makeshift litterbox nearby, and, upon clicking a third article, finds another cardboard box that she lines with one of her shirts from the dirty laundry and leaves it against her footboard.
Trinity had stayed for an hour last night to go over some basic cat care instructions with her, then left them alone. Samira tried to invite her to stay the night, but she insisted upon leaving and assured her she would be back in the morning after a trip to the pet store.
Samira spends her time waiting on the couch, reading more about what they need to buy for the cat, and ends up on a crazed research spiral that leads to her sending way too many texts to Trinity at the pet store.
samira
make sure you get a wide, shallow bowl for her water. i don’t want her to get whisker fatigue.
wait maybe we should get her a fountain
should we get samples of litter? how do we know if she wants crystals or non clumping?
maybe she’ll like a nice bed?
trinity
don’t worry mira. she’s gonna live like a princess.
Maybe Princess would make a good name? No, Princess would never let her live that down if she found out.
Trinity arrives with several bags lining her arms, kicking the door closed behind her and dropping half of them on the floor. Samira watches as she follows them down, sitting just feet from the entryway while she rummages through them to pull various items out. Samira feels calmer at the sight and the understanding that Trinity is just as devoted to this as she is.
For the first time, she considers what her life is about to look like as she coparents a cat with the woman she has stupidly intense feelings for. The two of them already spend a lot of time together, and she’d consider Trinity to be her best friend, but sharing a pet together is no casual feat. This means Trinity will be in her house regularly, the cat will see them as her moms, they’ll discuss her schedule like she’s their baby. It’s incredibly domestic.
“Where is she?” Trinity asks, sorting the pet supplies now that they’re all spread in front of her on the floor.
“Hiding under my bed,” Samira worries at her bottom lip with her teeth. “What if she doesn’t like me?”
“Then she’s crazy,” Trinity shrugs, “She’ll love you.”
Samira has a normal reaction to hearing the words love you come out of her mouth.
The two of them get to work setting up the cat’s new proper bowls, filling her tray with litter, and placing the two cats beds in her bedroom and living room. Samira does her best to catproof the apartment, picking up anything she deems a choking hazard and storing away anything she deems a potential toy, while Trinity lays on the couch and reads through more lists of cat names. Nothing feels right.
It’s an hour later when the two of them are watching something on the TV and Samira looks to the left to see the cat standing in the hallway, looking around the room in front of her. Her eyes widen and she flings a hand across Trinity’s chest, shushing her when she makes a confused sound in question. They both stare as the cat pads around the room, sniffing various items throughout her living room. Finally, she approaches the couch, and Samira holds her breath. The cat blinks at them before jumping up onto the arm furthest from them, making her way up and perching on the corner of the couch’s seat back.
Samira looks at Trinity and matches her grin, laughing when Trinity hits her knee in excitement. “Told you so,” she whispers.
She folds her lips over her teeth to contain her smile. Samira looks back at the cat, taking the time to trace the patterns of color along her back now that she’s still and at ease. She notices a smudge of ginger next to her mouth in a blob of a shape that resembles four dots smushed together. It reminds her of a four leaf clover, and, embarrassingly, of the freckles on Trinity’s right shoulder.
She turns her head back towards the TV and hopes Trinity doesn’t see the redness of her cheeks.
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samira
[attached image]
her name is clover
trinity
[loved an image]
our baby!
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Cat ownership quickly spirals out of control for both of them. Samira shows everyone at the PTMC photos of Clover doing literally anything, just for the way her heart fills with pride when they ooh and ahh over her. She sends selfie after selfie to Trinity any time Clover sits on the back of the couch next to her head or lays on her chest when she’s laying in bed. Trinity always hearts the pictures but often leaves her with no response, which Samira doesn’t understand.
Trinity comes over to her apartment every other day, usually with some toy or gadget she’s convinced Clover will like. Two weeks into their joint custody arrangement, she drags in a tall cat tree that she shoves into the corner of Samira’s living room, only for Clover to be entirely unimpressed.
“She doesn’t need all the fancy stuff,” Samira tries to tell her, “She loves boxes and toilet paper. This morning she dragged my underwear out of my laundry basket.”
“I’d pay to see that,” Trinity laughs, holding a stick that dangles a toy mouse in front of Clover, swishing it back and forth as the cat chases after it. “She’s so silly.”
Dennis is heartbroken about being allergic to her, and always asks Samira for updates when they have a spare moment during a shift. When she questions why he doesn’t ask his roommate, he rolls his eyes and says, “She tells me to mind my own business.”
“I can’t believe the two of you are cat parents,” Victoria comments, looking up from the chart in front of her. “Which one of you gave her your last name?”
“We’re hyphenating,” Trinity replies, joining them at the desk and winking at Samira. “Still deciding on a middle name, though.”
“Clover Santos-Mohan,” Samira considers, tapping her cheek with her finger while tilting her head to the side.
“Mohan-Santos,” Trinity corrects, “Flows better.”
Samira shoves her cheek into her entire palm to cover her blush.
Their friends beg to be invited over to meet Clover, but Samira insists on letting her settle in a bit more before she allows them to crowd her. The cat still disappears on her for hours of the day, and she usually finds her under her bed or in the box she’s placed next to the new cat tree. Trinity sticks her tongue out at Dennis when she follows Samira home after shift when she’s denied him again.
Once she determines Clover is feeling more confident in their shared space, she invites Dennis, Victoria, and Mel over for a movie night. Trinity is in charge of picking the movie, and much to Samira’s chagrin, chooses a scary one that she insists will be fun. She arrives with Dennis in tow, and he immediately scans the apartment for signs of the cat.
Clover is peeking around the kitchen counter when he spots her and drops to the ground right where he stands. There’s a toy next to Samira’s foot, and she kicks it towards him so he can attempt to lure her over. It takes a few minutes, but she slowly inches closer until he can reach out and scratch behind her ears.
“Are you sure this won’t aggravate your allergies too much?” Samira asks
“I took a Zyrtec,” he dismisses, then continues to make cooing noises at her cat.
Dennis’s efforts to win Clover over are wasted once Mel and Victoria arrive. They all get set up in front of the TV with their snacks and drinks, and Clover promptly chooses her spot directly in Mel’s lap. She gasps in delight, grinning at the movie while she strokes her fur soothingly. Samira notices Dennis pouting where he sits next to them, and she shares a smile with Trinity.
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samira
[attached image]
look what our cat did :(
trinity
my client is innocent, your honor.
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The longer Clover is in her life, the more attached Samira gets. Thankfully, the codependency is mutual, which makes her feel slightly less ridiculous. She finds herself eager to go home after work, ends up working less overtime because her cat has been alone too long and she misses her. When she walks through the door, Clover emerges from her hiding spot and greets her with soft meows until Samira bends and scratches her head.
Clover absolutely loves the attention; she follows Samira from room to room, sits near her on the couch, sleeps in her bed, and even lets Samira put her on her shoulders as she cooks dinner. She’s never considered herself to be a pet person, but now she feels like she would commit actual crimes if anything ever happened to her.
It also means that, as she predicted, she spends a lot more time with Trinity, which she certainly isn’t complaining about. When they sit down to try to go over their shifts and determine who will feed Clover when, Samira hands Trinity the spare key she had made. It’s green with a four leaf clover on it.
“I figure this will make things easier,” she says, shrugging.
Trinity nods, and bites her lip. “That’s true.”
She still knocks most times she comes over, but Samira always tells her she can just come in if they’ve already agreed on hanging out. Admittedly, she would miss the jingle of Trinity’s knock if she started using the key instead.
They’re hanging out one night when Samira excuses herself to grab a sweater, taking two out of her closet and returning to find Clover perched on the arm of the couch, waiting for her to return. Samira’s heart warms.
“Aw,” she coos, reaching out to scratch under her chin. “Hi, baby.”
At this, Trinity’s head snaps towards them, her eyes wide. “What?”
Samira furrows her eyebrows, confused. “I was talking to Clover, she was waiting for me to come back.”
Trinity’s cheeks turn red as she nods, clearing her throat. “Right. Is that one for me?”
Samira holds out the second sweater but keeps it out of Trinity’s grasp. “Yes, but you have to give it back to me before you leave. You keep stealing all my clothes. Between you and Clover’s claws, half of my closet is missing at this point.”
Trinity grins and takes the sweater from her, pulling it over her head. “Sure, I’ll give it back.”
Samira narrows her eyes, unconvinced, but sits next to her and allows her to spread her legs over her lap again. Once they’re settled, Clover makes her way over to them and plops down onto Trinity’s thighs. Samira reaches her hand over to stroke her fur absentmindedly, focused on the show playing on her TV.
They end up watching too many episodes, so Samira insists on Trinity spending the night instead of driving home so late. When she tells her they can share the bed, Trinity wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, and Samira throws a pillow at her face, though she can’t bite back her grin. Trinity sleeps in Samira’s sweater as well as a pair of pajama shorts she lends her, and chooses the left side of the bed before Samira can say that she sleeps on the right side herself. Clover leaps up to curl on Samira’s pillow above her head, inevitably pulling at her hair.
“Night, Mira,” Trinity whispers, laying on her side so they’re facing one another.
“G’night,” Samira says, eyelids already falling shut. It’s the fastest she’s fallen asleep in months.
When she wakes in the morning, it’s to sunlight streaming through her curtains and a quiet humming projecting through the room. She sleepily rubs her eyes as she turns her head, only to see Trinity laying on her back with Clover propped on her chest. She’s running a finger up and down her forehead, down between her eyes and back up again, as she softly sings words Samira doesn’t recognize.
The lullaby is so soothing it sends Samira back to sleep. When she wakes up, Clover is lying on her stomach and Trinity is gone. So is her sweater.
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samira
[attached image]
our cat likes sitting on my shoulders. silly.
trinity
[loved an image]
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Samira is in the middle of cooking dinner when her front door opens.
She spares a glance at the entryway to confirm it is in fact Trinity entering her house, but doesn’t pause her movements otherwise. She wracks her brain for any memory of plans they may have had, but she’s pretty sure they hadn’t discussed hanging out today. Samira had worked a night shift yesterday, then handed the ER over to Trinity this morning, so Clover’s feeding schedule had worked perfectly. She’s nonetheless happily surprised at Trinity’s unprompted appearance in her home.
Trinity’s socks scuff across the floor as she joins her in the kitchen, still wearing her jacket and face twisted in sadness. Samira stops stirring the pot on her stove to provide her full attention, frowning when Trinity leans against the counter on the opposite side of the room, too far away from her. Clover appears from around the corner, snaking her way between Trinity’s legs to rub her side against them.
“What’s wrong?” Samira asked, though she assumes it has something to do with the shift she just finished. A quick look at the clock confirms it ran well over her scheduled time, as their shifts usually do.
“Rough trauma,” she answers simply, avoiding Samira’s gaze and focusing on Clover. “Little girl died. There was nothing we could do.”
This doesn’t surprise Samira. She’s known Trinity long enough to understand why she takes certain patients more personally, and which ones are more likely to affect her after she clocks out. She leans to turn the heat down on the burner, then crosses the kitchen to take one of Trinity’s hands in hers. Trinity stares at where their fingers are intertwined, refusing to meet her eyes.
“I know you did everything you could,” she says softly. At her feet, Clover sits in the small space between them, content. “What do you need from me?”
Trinity finally lifts her gaze. “Just needed to be here. I’m sorry for letting myself in.”
Samira tsks, squeezing her hand. “Don’t be. I want you here. I want you to seek comfort when you need it, and I want to be someone who provides it for you.”
She hums in response, leaning forward until their foreheads touch. Samira can’t help the way her heart beats faster, hoping their proximity doesn’t allow Trinity to hear it thumping in her chest. She’s had many moments where she’s thought that her feelings for Trinity might be reciprocated, but this casual intimacy is pushing a line neither of them have been brave enough to cross. The pounding in her chest starts to sound like it’s begging: please, please, please.
“Trinity,” Samira whispers, eyes closed. She can’t be the one to take the final step, not when Trinity came to her because she needed comfort.
“You’re my favorite person,” Trinity responds, lifting her hand to cup the side of Samira’s face. Her thumb splays across her jaw, palm pressed to her neck. “It’s kind of embarrassing how obsessed with you I am.”
“If it’s embarrassing, then I don’t care,” she grins, pulling back just a bit so she can look her in the eyes, wanting Trinity to see the sincerity in her expression. “I want to live in your pocket forever.”
Trinity snorts. It’s cute. “I wish I had a mini Mira to carry around with me every day. I’d never have a bad day ever again.”
“You can carry me around anytime,” Samira promises. She leans forward to brush their noses together. “I expect to never have to walk again.”
Trinity doesn’t answer her. She closes the distance between them and presses their lips together instead. Samira sighs into it, stepping as close as she possibly can to feel their bodies connected all the way down, placing her hands on Trinity’s hips and tugging. Trinity caresses her face, grip gentle but firm on her skin. It’s everything Samira has ever wanted.
They’re interrupted by a loud meow at their feet. Clover still sits between them, face tilted upwards and somehow managing to look unimpressed. Trinity giggles, while Samira coos and bends down to pick her up.
“Oh I’m so sorry, were we ignoring you?” she asks, bundling her in her arms and running a finger down the back of her head. She presses a kiss to her fur. “Poor baby.”
Her eyes flick upwards to watch as a flush spreads across Trinity’s cheeks, and she grins. “Don’t be jealous, Trin. I’ll call you baby, too.”
Trinity scoffs, dropping a hand to her waist and shoving playfully. Her other hand comes up to scratch at Clover’s ears. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Right,” Samira nods, and leans forward to kiss the apple of her cheek. “I totally believe you, baby.”
Her laugh is loud when Trinity’s cheeks turn even redder. Making Trinity Santos blush feels like a blessing, one she wants to take advantage of every day of her life. She can’t help but lean back into her, careful not to smush the cat between them but getting as close as she possibly can. Trinity kisses her once more, and the fingers on Samira’s waist tap in a familiar pattern. One long, two short.
It’s the same cadence as her knock. It feels a lot like I love you.