[The horn sounds. The arena explodes.]
Cuthbert: THE OTTAWA CENTAURS HAVE DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE! THEY HAVE WON THE STANLEY CUP, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FRANCHISE HISTORY! ILYA ROZANOV HAS DONE IT!
Simpson: And there he is. He's already shoving his gloves off. He's not looking for the Cup, that’s for sure (laugh). He's looking for one person in that pile of bodies.
Cuthbert: Hollander. He's looking for Hollander (laugh). And there he is, Craig. Hollander coming out of the corner.
Simpson: These two have been through everything together. The rivalry, the coming out, the marriage, Hollander’s disastrous exit from Montreal. I think we can all agree that these two have garnered a lot of attention over the years, but they still remain at the top of their game.
Cuthbert: I think you are right. This is the thing they always said they wanted most, and tonight they finally got it together. Ottawa finally has won the cup.
[Rozanov pulls Hollander in by the back of the neck. They kiss on the ice, confetti falling around them, sticking to their damp faces, their four hands holding the cup between them.]
Simpson: History made tonight in more ways than one, Chris.
Cuthbert: We sure will remember tonight for a long, very long time.
**
Today 10:03 AM
Roz
Everything okay?
known better
why?
how's hollzy?
he left already
shit man i'm sorry
why?
c'mon don't do that shit with me
we all know shit happens, and not JUST on roadies. It's life, we're all adults making shit choices, it's cool, I'm not judging but let's just skip the part where you swear nothing happened
what the fuck are you talking about right now
Really???
fuck man I don't think you could have done worse
?????
Delivered
Today 10:23 AM
shane
shane pls
Today 10:27 AM
can you pick up?
Today 10:31 AM
shane i’m begging you PLEASE pick up
Shane, I want you to know that I’ve never meant to hurt you, I love you with all my heart. Please, pick up. Even to tell me to fuck off, just please tell me where you are and if you are okay, I promise I will leave you space. Whatever you need, but please, please text me back
Delivered
Today 10:46 AM
shane please please
Today 10:51 AM
you are a dog.
@shlya_truther WHO is that man
@souporchaos66 not y’all already zooming in 😭
@shanescelly replying to @souporchaos66 ENHANCE
@soggywaffle_energy replying to @shanescelly ENHANCE AGAIN
@boodramboost i’m crying someone said ‘mystery blond man’ like okay go off gossip girl
@pastelpunk that is NOT a rando
@shanescelly replying to @pastelpunk i’m not saying it yet
@chronicallyofflife77 replying to @shanescelly say it
@shanescelly replying to @chronicallyofflife77 I THINK THAT’S HAAS
@feralhoursottawa yall are insane that could be ANY blond man
@boodramboost replying to @feralhoursottawa ok then why does ‘any blond man’ have the exact same haircut, build, and face as haas
@rozanovcult oh this just went from bad to WORSE
@the613snipe replying to @rozanovcult mystery man being a teammate is CRAZY
@slighthiss replying to @the613snipe being HAAS specifically is CRAZIER
@user818272994 not rozy having his own roster of hoes on the team
@justhereforthebeef SOMEONE JUST POSTED A CLIP FROM GAME FIVE
@chronicallyofflife77 replying to @justhereforthebeef the height difference matches exactly
@justhereforthebeef replying to @chronicallyofflife77 oh it’s OVER
@troyboiottawa not people already digging up old ‘haas looking at rozanov’ moments
@hollanovhive replying to @ you guys need jobs
@shanescelly ‘mystery blond man’ lasted 12 minutes btw
@thecentretownkid_89 replying to @shanescelly rip mystery you will be missed
@hannahb_97 replying to @thecentretownkid_89 welcome luca haas to the worst day of your life
@hollzybaby someone check on hollander like actually
@xXxpastel_noxXX replying to @hollzybaby no seriously
@kyleg_93 didn’t know haas had pull like that
@haas_attack_ottawa replying to @kyleg_93 for real he always looks so innocent????
@user818272994 replying to @haas_attack_ottawa those are always the nasty ones
@MTL_zonee replying to @user818272994 imagine being the guy rozanov cheated on his HUSBAND for
@hollanderpuckbunny81 LUCA HAAS AND ILYA ROZANOV???? COUNT YOUR DAYS
@ilyaszn casual reminder: your favorite man is STILL a man
@holzyheart replying to @ilyaszn turns out being on your husband’s team IS NOT enough to keep him from cheating
@ilyaszn replying to @holzyheart men ain’t shit fr 😭
@rozyrise_81 GOD NO PLS TELL ME THIS ISN’T REAL
@sarahm2390 replying to @rozyrise_81 i feel sick to my stomach for hollander if this is true
@womanyellingatcat_19 replying to @sarahm2390 this is literally them though? there are pics from earlier that night where they wear the exact same stuff
@hollanderapologist HAAS IS A KID. WHAT THE FUCK.
@buzzsorush replying to @hollanderapologist Stop babying grown ass adults!!! he’s 21!!! And he LITERALLY has his hand in Rozanov’s pants
@marshimadra871 ‘allegedly making out’ girl he EATING that boy’s face with a whole ass HUSBAND at HOME
@censcreasee8 Just got a DM from someone saying they were at the afterparty. Apparently Hollander left and things started heating up right after between Rozanov and Haas
@sickomodee_ wtf did you guys see the rozanov leak?? i'm so disappointed i expected more from him after the whole coming out thing
@sample_teext replying to @sickomodee__ tf does that mean
@kelseym_14 so ilya rozanov finally comes out, marries the love of his life, wins a cup, and then IMMEDIATELY self-destructs in public. that's insaneee
@ottawa_blue_line replying to @kelseym_14 it's not self-destruction if someone else took the photos. it's just getting caught
@kingpiee_ree replying to @ottawa_blue_line getting caught doing WHAT exactly. because right now we have three blurry images and zero context
@kelseym_14 replying to @kingpiee_ree getting caught cheating on his husband right after marrying him and achieving their fucking dream hope this helps
@dynowight the way people are already writing fanfiction about them is DISGUSTING. he's a fucking KID and rozanov is the married one. stop twisting this
@princess_ashley_93 replying to @dynowight so he’s a kid and rozanov was blackout drunk. so who’s the problem here? the answer is both of them
@dynowight replying to @princess_ashley_93 so we agree rozanov is the problem. good
@princess_ashley_93 replying to @dynowight we agree that rozanov is A problem. not necessarily THE problem. there's room for multiple failures here
@ayyyyy_78 i'm sorry but if my husband was out making out sloppy with some hot young teammate literally five minute after i left i’d be on the news
@hollanovchaos replying to @ayyyyy_78 the night they WON 😭
@sickomodee_ replying to @hollanovchaos divorce. immediately. no conversation. no shit to pack bc the house would already be burning down
@barrettbattalion the way the homophobes are having a FIELD DAY with this is genuinely making me sick. they don't care if it's true or not. they just want another reason to say gay players are messy
@rozyraider81_ i literally can’t believe people don’t remember how rozanov was back in boston that man is a WHORE
@thedudeabides_98 replying to @rozyraider81_ ran through the entire city and some fr
wyatt
has hollzy picked up yet?
barrett
No.
dykstra
no
barrett
he probably turned his phone off bc it doesn’t even go to voicemail anymore
wyatt
shit
bood
anybody heard from haasy?
dykstra
still MIA too
harris
I’m still trying to reach him out
bood
we all agree it’s haasy right?
wyatt
yeah
dykstra
yeah looks like it
barrett
that’s what haasy was wearing yeah
dykstra
might be wise for him to keep a low profile
bood
are u serious rn
dykstra
i’m just saying i wouldn’t want to be in his shoes next time he crosses path with hollander
bood
he’s always been a fan of roz don’t make it weird
barrett
hm
harris
let’s not start pointing fingers in the middle of a PR disaster, please
harris
one crisis at a time
bood
what's the gameplan here?
harris
how the heck would i know? i'm not PR
barrett
you're the closest thing we got
harris
i don't know, i'm gonna try and see if i can talk to management but i don't want this to blow this whole thing way out of proportions
Today 11:19 AM
Shane, I hope you’re doing well. I know it’s been a long night and a very complicated morning so far, but I just wanted to reach out. If you feel like talking to anyone, my door is always open, no judgement.
Today 12:21 AM
He’s still not answering me
I don’t know what to do
Have you tried tracking his phone?
He took down the app or whatever it is. He read something about… idk what that’s called, but it is bad for the brain or something
Fucking Hollander
I’m sorry bro
I’m sure he just needs a bit of time to cool off
Today 12:26 AM
pike i need your help
die.
please
Not Delivered
did you block my number????
Not Delivered
fucking piece of shit?
Not Delivered
Today 12:32 AM
Why is my son sleeping in his childhood bed?
Hi. Something happened last night. I know I am asking a lot but can you and David please not go online for now if you haven’t already? I am very very sorry and I have been trying to call him many times but he won’t talk to me. please, can you tell him to call me back when he wakes up?
ilya, what did you do?
i can’t talk right now, not until i have talked to him first
please
bood
roz says hollzy is at his parents’ house
harris
that’s the best option I suppose
dykstra
👍🏻
wyatt
still no news from haasy
Today 12:39 AM
shane i saw the pics, are you okay?
It’s okay if you don’t feel like talking, I just want you to know I’m here if you need anything. Literally.
@censcreasee8 ILYA ROZANOV SEEN OUTSIDE LUCA HAAS CONDO
@womanyellingatcat replying to @censcreasee8 And my jaw stayed in place
@captainmycaptainhollander replying to @censcreasee8 oh im sure
@zaneszone someone in my dms just said they saw them 'arguing outside the building' PLEASE BE SERIOUS
@roztheboat replying to @zaneszone A Russian guy arguing in English with his German speaking Swiss lover after cheating on his Canadian Japanese husband, oh the United Nations are shaking
@suchmemeveryfun replying to @roztheboat I'm just really surprised there's no finnish guy thrown in the mix somehow
@metroszonee_24 can we talk about how fast people are just making shit up
@jonesylukeee replying to @metroszonee_24 arguing in WHAT LANGUAGE rozanov can barely argue in english when he’s calm
@ilyarozanovhive this is literally from last year i am begging yall STOP MAKING SHIT UP
@hannb_47 replying to @ilyarozanovhive yess same watermark in the corner
@xXxpastel_noxXX replying to @ilyarozanovhive ok but even if it’s old why is it resurfacing NOW
@ilyarozanovhive replying to @xXxpastel_noxXX because yall be running your mouth 😭😭😭
@holzyingoal the way this is turning into a full witch hunt in real time is crazy
@ilyaszn replying to @holzyingoal people don’t even care if it’s true anymore they just want him to be guilty
@holzyingoal replying to @ilyaszn especially since coming out they’ve been waiting for a gotcha moment
@hollanovchaos anyway free hollander because waking up to THIS is actually a nightmare scenario
@yappingyorkie replying to @hollanovchaos hollzy gonna have that rookie shipped off to a third division team in Kazakhstan or something
@troyboiottawa replying to @yappingyorkie imagine THEEEE Shane Hollander as your enemy
@thecentretownkid_89 replying to @troyboiottawa the kid better be sleeping with one eye open
@sarahm2390 replying to @troyboiottawa he’s not a kid he’s a fucking homewrecker
@aleebee_44 yall doing too much, a friend of mine works in the NHL and it’s literally an open secret that they’ve been in a long distance relationship for years and have an agreement
@hannb_47 replying to @aleebee_44 surely NOT when he’s in town????
@rozanovcult replying to @aleebee_44 NOT THE FRIEND OF A FRIEND 😭😭
@ hannb_47 replying to @rozanovcult we’ve reached the ‘i have a publicist friend’ phase and it’s BARELY NOON
@dynowight replying to @aleebee_44 yall don’t KNOW THESE PEOPLE i’m begging you to stop spreading this kind of rumor
Today 1:14 PM
Good morning, Ilya. I didn’t think it was worth mentioning but at the risk of sounding restrictive, now would be a wise time not to be papped outside of your teammate’s home.
i just told HAZY
it is from last year
i’m home right now i haven’t even been outside to walk my fucking dog
Delivered
Today 1:19 PM
haasy what the fuck???
what is going on???
look i am very flattered that you are still looking to me or something but i would not do that to shane.
if i maybe kissed you, i was very very drunk and it is not an excuse, i know that, i just want you to know that under no normal circumstances would i do that
Delivered
Today 1:36 PM
he’s going to divorce me
you talked to him???
no he still won’t reply
but i know he’s hurt and he won’t be able to forgive me
and i don’t even know if i can forgive myself
look. it’s a bad look. and a shit situation to be in. some people just kiss when they’re drunk.
you haven’t gone home with haasy right?
Of course not
Then fine maybe you kissed him, it sucks, but you guys are married.
No it’s different for us
We spent so much time hiding and being afraid and now we finally had everything and I have fucked it all up
Is not just a kiss and Shane won’t forgive me. You don’t know him like I know him.
Delivered
That’s true
I’m sorry Roz
You want me to come over?
Today 1:49 PM
shane buddy
shane
jackie told me to give you space but you’re starting to really freak me out
shane i’m being serious, if i don’t hear from you by the end of the afternoon, i’m driving to ottawa
Today 2:14 PM
where the fuck is he???
i hope he fucking killed you and he’s too busy burying your fucking dead carcass at his cottage
funny
he's with his parents
oh
good.
really? nothing more?
i hope you die a horrible death
same thing for you
Not Delivered
are you for fucking real???
Not Delivered
Today 2:31 PM
Wait what’s going on?
we kissed and now i am unfaithful married man about to be divorced
unfaithful???
no that’s not what happened
that’s not???????
OH THANK YOU GOD AND THE LITTLE JESUS ONE
No we didn’t kiss, I would never do that!
Wait, I keep getting texts from the gc
Which gc?
Uhhh
I don’t know
They probably created a new one to discuss things
Add me
Right now
luca
uh hi
wyatt
where THE FUCK have you been
i will catch up with all of you when i am with my HUSBAND to tell him in PERSON that i have NEVER been unfaithful
luca
i was sleeping?
bood
case closed
barrett
alone?
harris
oh my god stop
luca
well
luca
no
wyatt
case reopened
wyatt
you guys fucked?
luca
oh god no
luca
NO!!
luca
i just saw the pics
luca
wth no that’s not at all what happened
luca
we didn’t kiss
luca
well he kissed me
harris
this is getting so much worse
luca
ON THE CHEEK
luca
i know the angles are making it so much worse but he was just kissing me on the cheek
bood
buddy, man to man, you might start thinking about another explanation because I’m not sure Hollzy will be able to stomach that one
luca
no it’s true i swear on chiron!!!
troy
you still got your hand INSIDE roz’s pants
luca
yes because he kept trying to take them off!!! He could barely stand up, I took him outside to put him in a cab and send him home, and he kept trying to take his clothes off
luca
he said it was to save time so he could be with shane faster or something
luca
I didn’t want him to get in trouble for indecent exposure so i was trying to keep his clothes ON, not to take them OFF
bood
and what about that kiss?
wyatt
haasy
troy
just spill it out okay?
luca
i know i’ve always been a big fan of rozanov, and maybe a little bit more, but now i’m over it
luca
i told him that last night and i also told him i was seeing someone and he was happy for me and he kissed me on the cheek
luca
that is ALL
Today 2:54 PM
my head hurts and i'm at my parents and my phone was dead????
the fuck is going on
why is everybody calling me?
i love you god i love you please pick up i need to talk to you
can this wait till i got a glass of water and some advil?
yes but please it is very urgent
no one is dead btw
Today 3:11 PM
Hey.
Oh thank fuck you are alive
Yes.
Have you talked with your husband?
Yes.
Do you need help offloading his body somewhere?
Not quite.
Apparently, nothing happened.
Shane
I’m not doing that to be an asshole but have you seen the pictures
Yes.
A million different people sent them to me, actually. And my parents.
Ilya told me nothing happened and I believe him
I’m fine it’s all good
Shane buddy
Of course he’s saying that
It’s Haas with him.
LUCA Haas??
Yes. The kid was trying to put him in a cab and Ilya kissed him on the cheek.
They have a weird relationship but not THAT kind of weird relationship.
Right.
If you are feeling good about this, then I’m good too
Today 3:14 PM
Shane trusts you for some fucking reason but you are on thin fucking ice you piece of shit
That’s not even your business
Not Delivered
YOU ARE FUCKING CHILD
Not Delivered
I’m going to fucking hit you with my car
Not Delivered
hey so now that we’re all in the clear, i assume there’s a lot of stuff left to clear out
publicly i mean
we don’t want all that stupid shit to create a mess for next season
harris
you’re right, it would probably be best to get ahead of things now
ilya
i would like to maintain that i am innocent
harris
yes, I’ve heard! Thank god
harris
are you guys thinking about something specific?
ilya
don’t know maybe we can post something with the cup?
harris
that would be very sweet but i don’t think that would cut it right now
harris
i could be wrong obviously! i'm not a PR expert by any mean
no but we trust you
i’ve had a bit of a hard time trusting management since the Metros but i trust you
harris
you have an idea?
what if we had something to leak
how would that work
ilya
what are you talking about??
harris
that’s not a sex-tape, right?
harris
no situation is desperate enough to sink to that level please shane
god no it’s not a sex-tape
ilya
you would not mind
the grownups are talking
harris
okay so, is it a pic?
ilya left me a voice message last night
ilya
wait what
ilya
when
jesus christ just check our chat
ilya
oh yeah it’s there
it’s nothing groundbreaking but i don’t think it could hurt ilya’s reputation
we just need to cut before the end if we want to keep it PG
harris
okay, if you feel comfortable sending it to me then i can give it a listen and tell you if maybe we could do something about it
моя любовь, you left too early I miss you. Haasssy was tellin’ me he got someone, I feel like a proud dad. Not dad-dy. That’sss for you. But Da-ad. I miss youuu, where are you? We won the cup, baby, we wonnnn. I need you right now. Can’t believe you left me. Can’t believe I haven’t fucked you yet. Oh wait, nevermind. Well, I want to fuck you AGAIN. Is it again if it is tomorrow? Are we today? моя любовь Без тебя время теряет всякий смысл.
harris
uhm yes obviously we would edit halfway through
harris
just to err on the safe side of caution, what does that last part mean?
ilya
nothing important
that’s probably extra sappy if he doesn’t want to translate
harris
i see
harris
well we could objectively do something with this
harris
create a burner on twitter and post it anonymously. It really doesn’t take much. Of course, you guys need to be aware this will look like it came from you. It’s an ethical leak but it’s kind of obvious
at this point, i really don’t care
anything is better than people believing i was cheated on
harris
i will reach out to haas to see if he’s okay with this
harris
we don’t want him to be uncomfortable divulging private details
ilya
yes
Today 4:41 PM
Hey I’m sorry to be texting so late it’s been a very long day
Oh no it’s fine don’t worry!
How are you feeling?
Fine! Nothing happened with Ilya, it was just a big misunderstanding.
I’m mostly just riding the worst hangover of my life and trying to piece things together
I bet!
I’m so fucking relieved!!! You guys aren’t allowed to divorce like EVER I’m being so serious right now
I’ll try to keep that in mind
Today 4:41 PM
You can’t keep ignoring me
I’m not ignoring you
I did not cheat on my husband. It was a very unfortunate picture but I was kissing him on the cheek and Haas has told that to the rest of the team as well. He's like my firstborn child. It is ridiculous
I can’t believe you believed the internet over me
YOU believed the internet over you!!
I’m just glad you didn’t mess up
Shane is too hot to be divorced, he needs to stay in a monogamous relationship until the end of time
I’m very much trying my best to make this a reality
How’s the hangover?
I’m dealing like a champ
Shane not so much
you know Hollander, he isn’t very good at not being able to remember everything
He’s been trying to figure out why we booked an Uber back to the rink at some point last night
Should I ask?
We fucked in the owner’s suite
Of course you did
Listen they owe us
They'd probably let us fuck in their own bed
Well they should at least
why was he not home in the first place anyway??
too drunk and gave the wrong address to the driver apparently. sore topic. don't ask.
Delivered
@TMZ_Sports 🔥 Stanley Cup Champs Rozanov & Hollander Caught Leaving Owner's Box Disheveled, Rearranging Clothes At 2am | Click to read more
harris
Hey guys
Good news, I don’t think we will need to leak anything
Bad news, uhhh. Remember when I asked you for no sex-tape?
