Chapter Text
Trinity wanted to go home and and wanted to sleep for the next year, she was afraid of having Al-Hashimi as the chief for the next three months but the system getting hacked joined them together in a way she wasn't expecting. What really bugged Trinity though was Robby, a man she wasn't expecting to care for who she had started to trust, who knew her past and was starting to feel like family. He worried her because she watched him all day, she heard the gossip about him not wearing a helmet, she saw the way he seemed overly happy but looked so tired, saw the way Caleb Jefferson and Jack Abbot kept trying to get through to him. It's as she's watching him hug Dana and Jack, the way he seems to tighten his hold on them before a look comes over his face, the way Jack looks like he's scared that sends alarm bells through her. Robby seems to take his time, like he's preparing for something and Trinity is scared in a way she hasn't been for years so when she finally sees him head out she runs after him.
"Robby," she yells once their outside and she sees him pause with his back turned to her like he's putting on a mask and then he turns, the look in his eyes tell her everything.
"Yeah," he says waiting.
"Don't do it," she says softly and his eyes wide in panic before a mask overtake them.
"I don't," Robby tries to say but she interrupts.
"You're going to kill yourself or try to. Don't do it. You know about my past. You know I was sexually assaulted along with my friend and that no one believed us. I was so angry but she was in pain and tired. I didn't see it and when she overdosed to end her pain I was angry but then I was just sad because my friend thought a world without her was better when that could be further from the truth. I know it seems like it but the world wouldn't be better without you in it," Trinity tells him wanting to shake him but anger isn't the answer.
"No one would miss me," Robby argues and they both know he's trying to convince himself more than anything.
"That's bullshit. Dana would miss you, she's your best friend. I'd miss you. Hell your boyfriends would miss you too. They have been circling you all day and night trying to make sure your okay," Trinity argues wanting to growl.
Silence follows as he looks at her then back at the hospital like it's haunting him and maybe it is, maybe he does need a break but a break isn't what he's planning and Trinity won't lose someone else. She sees the tears that he's trying to hold back that fall anyway and she closes the distance between them to hug him, knows it's manipulative to try to use her own feelings against him but she's not sure she cares if it works.
"Please don't leave us. Get help. It might seem dark right now but it doesn't always stay that way," she says not letting go and then she's trying to pull him back towards the hospital.
"No not there. Not where they can look at me like I'm a freak or a failure," Robby argues trying to weakly pull away.
"Fine then we find somewhere else but you aren't being left alone so get in my car now," Trinity says pulling her keys out glad Dennis got a ride from someone else.
Robby looks like he's going to argue but then he turns like he's waiting for her to lead. She wants to point out that they wouldn't look at him like a freak but just the fact he's admitting he needs help is a win for her so she keeps her mouth shut. He looks ridiculous in her car, a Chevy Cavalier, but considering he's a giant and her car is for normal sized people well Robby will just have to deal with it.
"Pick a place to eat," Trinity says.
"Whatever," Robby says crossing his arms looking like a child and she gets it, he hates life and himself right now but she doesn't care as long as he's alive.
"I'm not much letting you out of my sight until you find a place and we take you there. Pick a place to get food or I do. I'm trying to be nice because I get your about to be forced into a facility to get help and probably are going to feel like crap for a minute so pick a place to eat," Trinity rants.
"Arby's," he says finally.
Trinity wants to mumble and get annoyed but again she's picking her battles because this isn't a normal situation, she gets he is probably feeling angry even if he agreed to get help. The car ride is filled with silence the rest of the way until they get to Arby's. She ordered the Double Beef and Cheddar meal while Robby orders the Double Beef Meal as well as a chocolate milkshake and an extra side of fries. She wonders if he follows kosher but he probably doesn't since he constantly tells anyone who will listen him and God don't talk anymore and so as soon as the thought crosses her mind she dismisses it. Ten minutes later their at his condo, Robby practically stomps his way up the steps and through his front door but then he sits down and slumps forward like his strings are cut.
"I'll get paper towels they never give enough," Trinity says heading for the kitchen.
Trinity didn't care about the towels she was more curious at what she would find. She opens the fridge door to see if cleaned out of food, the cabinets are at the bare minimum and she sees little sticky notes with names on them, some for Jack, some for Dana and she closes her eyes. She grabs the paper towels before stepping back out, Robby hasn't moved but when he looks up he looks even more tired and like he's trying not to cry.
"You saw the kitchen?" he asks sounding void or trying to sound void of emotion though it doesn't work.
"Yeah," Trinity answers not sure what she's supposed to say.
Trinity hadn't really planned for this, she just recognized the signs and decided to try to stop him. He's been an adult figure she can count on, he stuck up her when almost everyone was getting on her for reporting Langdon, when he figured out what happened to her a few months ago he didn't try to pity her or treat her like glass instead he was just there. She feels like she is out of her depth and she carefully puts a hand on his arm trying to offer comfort.
"I'm probably doing a bad job at this. I can call," she starts only to be interrupted.
"No Jack or Caleb. Don't want the men I love to see me like this," Robby interrupts, "And Dana has enough to deal with."
Trinity nods her head though she wants to make a comment about them not caring if it meant saving him but she doesn't push her luck. They eat in silence, the television is turned on for background noise playing a random comedy and when she's done eating she pulls her phone out to do research, to find somewhere for him though he startles her when he stands up.
"I need to shower," Robby says.
"Ten minutes and then I'm coming in there even if it means being scarred for life. Do I need to grab the razors out of there and look for sharp objects?" Trinity asks honestly.
"Yes."
The answer is blunt and shocks her because she wasn't expecting it but it tells her he probably tried something before and couldn't go through with it. She sets her phone down and trails after him to his bathroom where she tears it apart as he grabs his clothes. Trinity grabs all the sharp objects she can, she can't take the mirror out, then she grabs the pills she finds even the Tylenol and takes them downstairs. She decides fuck it and grabs her phone to head back upstairs surprising Robby when she sits on his bed.
"Ten minutes and if I hear noise I don't like I don't care I'm calling Dr. Abbot or Dana," she warns sitting cross legged.
Robby finally lets out a sob, cut off like he was trying not to let it out but nods his head before closing the door. It doesn't take long for her to hear the shower start and she goes to her research while keeping an ear out. She finds two facilities, one looks a little too traditional and going from what she's heard Robby say he doesn't seem the type to appreciate that so she goes for the more open option. It's about an hour and a half away, the place looks like a cross between a giant cabin and a mansion but it's near the woods. They offer holistic approaches as well as traditional and honestly it looks less like a looney bin which might make him feel better so she calls. They say that they can take him tomorrow but he would have to be there by the afternoon. She's honest when she lets them know they aren't sure but they take his name to hold the spot as long as he's there by three in the afternoon.
"Fuck," she finally says letting out a sigh.
Part of her feels like maybe this makes up for not seeing the pain her friend was in, for not seeing that she was handling the assault differently and the other part feels overwhelmed. She's glad she was able to stop Robby from ending his life, she's not sure how he was planning on doing it but he couldn't see the way it would devastate anyone or that he was loved and cared for. She really wanted to hug him again and shove him in a room with the people that loved him so they could tell him all the ways they loved him but he wasn't ready to hear that yet. When he steps out of the bathroom ten minutes later in sweats and a T-shirt his eyes look swollen like he cried but he looks less like death warmed over.
"Here," she says holding out her phone with the page pulled up.
"Looks nice. Doesn't look like being locked up," Robby says proving the thoughts she had earlier.
"We have to get you there by three in the afternoon. It's a hour and a half drive. Got clothes I can borrow? And you aren't sleeping out of my sight so you'll have to deal with your back hurting like a motherfucker while we camp downstairs," Trinity goes on.
Robby doesn't argue with her, he pulls an air bed out from somewhere and it takes a good hour to get it set up since the living room has to be rearranged slightly but it's done. Trinity sets up the room so that if he tries to sneak off she'll hear him but she doesn't think she needs to worry about it since as soon as he lays down he curls up and just stares.
"Can you turn the TV on? I like the noise, supposedly it means I hate being alone but I've always liked noise on," Robby finally whispers.
"Not sure about the alone part of it but I've known plenty of people that can only sleep with something on. I had one friend only able to sleep with a fan on and another with music," Trinity offers up as she reaches for the remote.
"I'm supposed to be your mentor and the adult yet your offering up counseling for me," Robby states like he hates himself.
"Don't do that to yourself. I don't think anyone would be mad about you asking for help if it meant you would still be around. Don't let the darkness win, let the light in even if it's only a little bit of light," Trinity says finally after she turns it to the cartoon network.
Robby doesn't say anything but there's a sharp inhale and then he's turning away to face the television. Trinity doesn't think he wants any small comfort from her right now so she just lays down on the couch and lets the noise flow over her. A small feeling of victory comes over her, she hadn't been able to save her friend or see the signs but she was able to save someone she cared about years later and that meant more than anyone would know.