Archive of Our Own

It had been two weeks since they’d heard Gaban last speak. After him trying to leave the bed the doctors didn’t feel comfortable leaving him unsedated since the incident had their third repuncturing both his lungs again. He’d flat lined twice more as they fixed the damage.  Now he was being kept in a coma to force him to stay still long enough that Gaban couldn’t jostle the ribs causing the punctures again. 

The coma made other issues all the more apparent. Namely, the entire crew needed to go to ground before a more skilled force came for them than the ragtag fleet that had caused this. The problem with that though was that Gaban was absolutely not fit for travel nor was Roger even with his accelerated D healing. They’d argued for hours neither wanting to leave the crew or their lovers unattended before Momora stepped in as their fourth in command to take the crew to ground in Ohara with his wife while Roger, Rayleigh and baby Shanks occupied a small cabin not far from the hospital. 

Gaban’s bounty had gone up and when Rayleigh and Roger finally saw the destruction with their own eyes, they could see why. But even then, their small cabin was more stone and cave like that was hidden between the small village and the peak, with what was left of the vegetation. It had belonged to the old no nonsense nurse who took it upon herself to make sure that Gaban was tended to, especially after Rayleigh showed her how fast he can reach the hospital and back if something happened. 

When they could, they tucked Shanks’ sleeping form into the crook of Gaban’s neck and shoulder so their son would know him too… yet every day caused both men to fall into despair. 

“Please, meu paixão, you need to come back to us.” Roger whispered, hand tucked into the dark curls as he gently rested his head against Gaban’s side to feel his heart. 

They weren’t the same without him, Rayleigh’s insomnia was bad, if he wasn't awake for days then the nightmares woke him. Roger was anxious, his haki consistently trained on Gaban for even a hint of a change in his Voice… but he wished Gaban could see how his coma affected all of them. 

“You both know he won’t wake up until the doctor takes him off the sedatives. It’s not good for you to torture yourselves by begging him to wake when he’s being kept under by medicine not himself.” The old nurse, whom they’d come to learn was named Vivian, scolded as she changed the sheets on Gaban’s bed while the man himself hung in a complicated hammock system that lifted him without jostling all the injuries. “It does neither of you any good, especially not the babe, when you lot get so wrapped up in your depression that you forget to take him to the nursery for the wet nurses to feed him. I understand but you don’t stop being fathers just because one is unable. Spending every waking moment here in this room isn’t good for any of you.”

“We know, we know…” Rayleigh stated unable to disagree. “We know he won't wake up right now but it doesn't mean we can't tell him. We hope he can hear us.” 

“Shanks fusses away from him.” Roger murmured as he rocked said fussing child. “But you're right. We're pirates, we know the risks, but he's turned us all topsy-turvy.” 

“I was the same when my husband fell sick.” Vivian mused as she lowered Gaban back to the mattress and tucked a blanket around him. “My Harry looked a lot like Mr. Scopper here in our younger days. Though admittedly not quite as big.”

Rayleigh brushed the hair back from Gaban’s face without saying a word, fingers trailing across the fading bruises. He really should have just looked, he should have turned when Gaban called for him but his fucking petty silence and Gaban’s stubborn nature led to this. Seas, why does he love such idiotic, stubborn men? 

It was only when she left that Rayleigh spoke again, his voice raspy. “We should marry the idiot.” 

“We will.” Roger murmured as he held the bottle of milk to the baby, Shanks gurgled happily and cuddled into Gaban’s neck, one hand wrapping around a small braid, the other the bottle. “Maybe then it'll knock some sense into him.” 

“You already got the ring didn’t you?” Rayleigh asked with a raised brow.

“Rings. New ones for us, copper, silver and gold twined together.” Roger hummed, pulling a ring box from his pocket so that Rayleigh could view them. The gold and silver band he’d been wearing for years still meticulously kept clean so it glinted in the lights of the hospital. “I found a jeweler when I went to town for our supplies earlier this week.”

“Maybe even a tattoo at this point may drill it in too.” Rayleigh hummed. 

Roger nodded as he picked Shanks up once more and burped him the way the wetnurse showed him, eyes distant. He had been thinking that, had thought of nothing else but ways to try and get their Paixão to realise he was forever for them. He was right though, if Roger lost Rayleigh it would have killed him, he would have kept going but it would have broken him… yet the same was with him. 

Both Roger and Rayleigh have spoken at length on how Gaban completed them, how well he fit between them. The loss of Gaban would have broken them both, would have changed them forever in a way that would make them monsters. His loss would turn them cold, and furious, they would have burnt the world down to find out who took him from them. The crew knew, all knew but the idiot they love. 

Their idiot for some ungodly reason just couldn’t seem to see it and they’d missed the subtle separation he’d tried to keep since their heart to heart months ago. He knew they loved him and they knew he loved them yet without them noticing Gaban had still been holding himself separated from them out of respect of the fact they were married. A sickening feeling churned as Rayleigh had a thought and he hoped to all seas that Gaban didn't believe he was just there to keep his and Roger's marriage interesting because if that was so, Rayleigh was going to hunt down every person who made their Passion's self esteem so shit.

Their only saving grace in the face of Gaban’s loss would have been the other yet and still nothing would have been the same again. Not now that they’d found the balance Gaban brought in, how his steady calm soothed the rough edges of Rayleigh’s anxiety and Roger’s hyperactivity until they actually fit. Before fights were a regular occurrence but now? Rayleigh couldn’t remember the last time he and Roger actually argued about something. Gaban did that and he didn’t even seem to realize it. 

Another week passed them by and it seemed, to them at least, that Gaban wasn't getting better, no matter what Vivian told them. They had taken him off the medication that kept him in a coma and yet he still didn't wake. 

‘ The Oro's still standing. Momora has been running back and forth trying to spread the correct news of what happened, unfortunately his epitaph will forever be Mountain Eater thanks to a slip.” Spencer sighed. ‘ How is he? Any sign of waking?’ 

“No, no sign yet.” Roger sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Rayleigh's worn a path in the floors, put all his waking hours either caring for Gaban or Shanks. He's barely slept.” 

‘ And you captain? How are you?’ JB asked over Spencer's shoulder, the Den Den taking his features. 

“Fully healed now, just… stressed. If he doesn't wake up soon, we will have to take a trip to the North Sea or even Drum.” Roger grimaced. “I'm desperate enough to even return to Loguetown to see the witch.” 

“No… no witch.” Gaban rasped out causing Roger to spin in the chair so fast he practically fell off it in his haste to turn around. 

“Paixão!” Roger cried out in relief, disconnecting the call as he rushed forward, pressing a desperate kiss to the man’s lips. “Oh, my Passion, I am so glad to see you awake.”

“I just went to sleep, Ro-chan.” Gaban huffed fondly. “You’re not normally this excited when I wake up. What’d I miss? Where’s Leigh-chan and the baby?”

Roger jerked back at that, a frown on his face as he carefully lifted Gaban’s head for him to sip at the water by his bed. “You've been in a coma for weeks, your lungs collapsed when you tried to move. Leigh's taken Shanks to the wet nurse.”

“Coma?” Gaban blinked. “'Splains why my body is stiff.” 

“Yes, well, you were too injured for them to do the exercises so you’ve lost a good bit of mass.” Roger hummed. “I’d help you stretch out but I’d rather the nurses look you over first.” 

“I don’t need nurses for the stretching I want from you.” Gaban said with a sly grin. 

“Must you always be so horny when you first wake up?!” Roger groaned. 

Gaban huffed a laugh, face pinching as his chest pulled. “Not always, but how can I resist when the first things I see are my loves naked in bed usually. I'm okay Ro-chan.”  

“You weren’t Paixão, you died, multiple times.” Roger explained, voice breaking and a lone tear spilling over. “We lost you, short as it may have been but we did… you're wrong paixão, your death would break Leigh and I.”

Gaban swallowed thickly, taking in the rare emotion on his captain's usually jovial face. “Love, come here. I'm sorry for scaring you.” 

“I hope you know that now you're awake and once you've gotten the all clear, Rayleigh has a lecture for you.” Roger explained, eyes closing as he leant into the open palm cupping his face. 

A huff of a laugh escaped Gaban, lips pulling into a cheeky grin. “Can deal with that.” 

Savouring the touch for a moment more Roger pulled back, “I need to get Vivian and a doctor, do not move , we don't want a repeat of before.” 

“But, Ro-chan, I wanna sit up!” Gaban whined. 

“Last time you did that you repunctured both your damn lungs, no. ” Roger said sternly as he headed to the door. “You can wait.”

“I’m impatient!” Gaban huffed. 

“And I don’t give a flying fuck!” Roger sassed. “Be a good boy and stay .”

Gaban grinned, “Aye aye, Captain.” 

A flash of heat shuddered down Rogers spine and stirring his cock, he shot his love a look as he shaved towards the hospital. Neither he or Rayleigh had felt any form of desire beyond a stirring when their lover was still unconscious, their stress and grief at an all time high.  

Gaban sighed as he got more comfortable, his heart aching at the sheer grief on Roger's face, the desperate kiss that he had received. He could barely remember Rayleigh's face from when he woke up last, but he could remember the cry, the terror. This wasn't what Gaban wanted, he didn't want to ever put those looks on the people who held his everything. Yet, he had done so. He'd hurt them and in his foolish, stubborn way, hurt them again in his attempt to comfort.

He knew better than to move when injured to holy hell, but all common sense went out the fucking window apparently with a blow to the head. 

“Shhh Shanks, it's okay, only a few more seconds and you can cuddle up to your foolish Da again.” Rayleigh’s voice caught his attention, drawing his eyes to the man as he walked in, his entire focus on Shanks. 

“Roger went to get the doctors.” Gaban rasped, jolting Rayleigh. “Da aint here.” 

Rayleigh swallowed. “Da is you, idiot.” 

“Then come give Da a kiss and fill me in on what I missed.” Gaban chuckled just to groan. Yep, that still hurt like a bitch.

Rayleigh huffed, shifting Shanks around as he crossed the room and sat carefully on the edge of Gaban’s bed before leaning over to kiss his absolute idiot of a partner. Or at least he was going to when Shanks reached up to slap him in the face instead.  

“ Ow ,” Rayleigh muttered, rubbing his nose as he sat up. “Jealous little shit.”

“Of you or of me?” Gaban chuckled as he lifted his hand to ruffle the soft red strands. 

Rayleigh shot his partner a look. “He sleeps with you, if it's not for feeding or play time then he will try and bite .” 

“Ahh, a fiesty one.” Gaban cooed as Shanks curled up and smacked his cheek, babbling away. 

He turned to look at Rayleigh, voice and words lodging and shrivelling up in his throat at the look of his normally put-together lover. His usually windswept hair was gleaming and tangle free, he looked pale and gaunt, dark purple bruises under his copper eyes like the man hadn’t had a good sleep in days.

“Leigh…” Gaban managed to choke out, causing Rayleigh to flinch slightly and rush forward, the blonde's hands gentle as he checked him over. “Leigh, I'm okay, swear it. I haven't moved anything but my arm since Roger left.”

“You scared the hell out of me, asshole !” Rayleigh sniffled as he kept checking the bandages. “You fucking died! Whether they were able to revive you or not, you left us so many times. That’s not allowed! You are ours ! Ours , Ga-chan.”

“Yours, love.” Gaban agreed, leaning into the hands that cupped his face. “I’m sorry for scaring you, Leigh-chan.”

“What were you thinking trying to get up with injuries like that?!” Rayleigh huffed as he started to fuss with the blankets. 

“You wouldn't look at me, you were upset and I didn't like that.” Gaban explained and instantly regretted it when he saw the pain flash across Rayleigh’s face but there was a flicker of something else that had his shoulders drooping, a look of confirmation. “ Do not blame yourself for my idiocy. You were upset and I stopped thinking like I always do. That is not your fault.”

“You tried to stand up because of me! They put you in a coma!” Rayleigh snapped. “All because I was being petty because I was mad and hurt when that was the last thing I should have been worried about. My pettiness was a reason we could have lost you just when we got you back!” 

“ Silvers .” Gaban snapped, hand coming up to grab at the man. 

The sound of his last name leaving Gaban and the haki had Rayleigh pausing, it was not often Gaban called him by his surname, especially in that tone. Copper eyes met golden briefly before looking away, Rayleigh couldn't bring himself to look at Gaban for long. 

“I know as soon as I am well, you're going to be yelling at me but it's my turn right now.” Gaban stated firmly, all playful teasing gone. “It wouldn't have been your fault, the fact that you think it would have been, and don't say that's not what you're thinking, upsets me. Leigh, please don’t blame yourself for my intelligence taking a flying leap out the window.” 

“I was so scared.” Rayleigh sniffled. “It felt like Roger was mad at me too even though logically I know he wasn’t. But he would barely look at me sometimes which I deserved. We kept losing you and that was my fault. They kept you under for so long so you wouldn’t get up again even though it was because of me that you even tried.”

“They probably should have kept me under to begin with. We both know I’m a shit patient.” Gaban said, tugging Rayleigh closer. “I inevitably would have done something to make it worse. It was my stupidity. Now can I please have that kiss? I’ve missed you.”

Rayleigh kissed him slow and gentle, huffing a laugh as Shanks smacked him again. 

“Thank you Leigh-chan, love you.” Gaban whispered, blinking as that soft look was replaced by panic and fear.  “What’s wrong? Is it something I did?”

Rayleigh never answered as the door burst open with Roger finally arriving back, his smile dropping ever so as he saw the look on their faces. He didn't say a word, not till the doctors and Vivian checked him over, giving Gaban the all clear to move slowly . 

He had healed faster than expected but Gaban thinks it was to do with the coma. He healed fast in general but he never let his body rest enough for the healing to kick in properly, always pushing it further past his limits. Still his body ached after being practically immobile for so long, still wasn't allowed to do any ‘ funny business’ as Vivian commanded but he was allowed to hold his son. 

Mostly because little Shanks refused to stop crying after hearing Gaban groan in pain through the stretching Vivian had started before swapping off with Rayleigh under her close watch because Gaban was too heavy for her to manhandle like that. 

“That sucked.” Gaban grumbled by the time it was over somehow feeling even more sore than before. “Can we never do that again and say we did?”

“You usually like exercise.” Roger teased good naturedly as he strode to the front door to let the wet nurse in. Shanks had been refusing to settle if Gaban was out of his sight and they couldn’t have him missing meals. 

“That wasn’t exercise, that was torture and I've done the torture bit before.” Gaban grumbled, internally wincing at the sharp looks Rayleigh and Roger gave him. 

“A titty baby like you wrecked the whole mountain?” Vivian huffed. “It was just a bit of stretching, brat. That wasn’t even the hard ones either!”

Gaban opened his mouth to retort but snapped in closed at the look his partners gave him, choosing to just grunt instead, holding his arms up for Shanks as the wet nurse finished his feeding. The babe settled instantly and gurgled, practically falling asleep on his chest immediately.

“How does it feel to know I'm the favourite?” Gaban teased, shooting a cheeky grin at his lovers. 

“See how you like it after he has a blowout, Mr. Favourite.” Rayleigh sassed. “'Cause that'll be your job.” 

Gaban shrugged. “Wouldn't be the first time, helped my mother when I wasn't training proper. She was a midwife and a nursemaid. ‘s why I pretty decent at first aid.” 

“You never speak of your mom,” Rayleigh murmured softly.

Gaban shrugged his shoulder. “She died because of me, I was fucking around while I was supposed to be sentry, bandits came. Da banished me, took my name and let me walk out with what I could carry. Don't worry ‘bout it. Nothing can change it now anyway.”

Rayleigh and Roger shared a look, one that said they'd be talking about it later. It would explain some things and they knew that if they ever ended back in the east, if they came across those whoever hurt their paixão then there would be nothing left of them. 

“Oof, you're going to be as strong as your pai, aren’t you, Red?” Gaban chuckled as Shanks smacked him in the face multiple times.

“Between the three of us he’s sure to be a little monster.” Rayleigh chuckled. “I just hope a smidgen of my sense makes its way past all of you two’s crazy.”

“Has he been too much?” Gaban asked with a fond smile on his face as Shanks started to settle with a big sleepy yawn, nonsensical babbles falling from little lips. “I didn’t mean to leave the first few weeks of parenting all to you two.”

“He’s been a surprisingly easy baby.” Roger hummed as he reached over to gently stroke Shanks’ mop of silky red hair. No, he wasn’t pouting at the fact Vivian and the doctor had said he and Rayleigh couldn’t get into bed to have a cuddle with their finally awake third… he wasn’t! Neither he nor Rayleigh were grumpy that doing the stretches for the nurses, holding Gaban’s hand, and mostly chaste kisses were all that they were allowed, not at all. “Rayleigh hogs him though.”

“I do not!” Rayleigh said indignantly, only just barely keeping his voice soft enough to not startle Shanks. “If anything Ga-chan hogs him because Shanks would only sleep if we laid him with Gaban!”

“I was unconscious, why exactly am I being thrown into this little lover’s spat?” Gaban asked incredulously. 

“Can’t have you feeling left out, Paixão,” Roger chuckled as he leaned over to steal yet another quick kiss like they’d been doing nearly every time he spoke. “ You’re our lover too, after all. Couldn’t possibly have a spat without you.”

Gaban blinked and cast his gaze between the both of them, they had both been doing that, making sure to include him in everything. “Hmm, can't be mad at me, does it really count as hogging him if I was asleep?” 

“ Yes!” Rayleigh replied. “Though, if anything its Roger who has been greedy, he's gotten more time with you and Red.” 

“Heart, if I had to watch you pace for another second I was going to lose my mind.” Roger huffed. “You paced the room enough to make me dizzy and tired!”

Gaban chuckled softly, eyes warm as he watched his two lovers argue. “It seems I missed a lot while unconscious. Did you also fight the nurses over who could sponge bath me?” 

At that both men pouted and crossed their arms. “Vivian wouldn’t let us help.”

“Oh?” Gaban chuckled. “Getting withdrawals already? I’m sure we can sneak some fun in when she’s not lookin’.” 

“It has been a month .” Rayleigh whined. “Please, don’t tease me. I haven’t gone this long without sex in years.”

Roger shot both his lovers a look. “And it won't be for a while yet longer, not till Gaban can move on his own and isn’t at risk of collapsing his own lungs again.” 

Gaban’s brows raised. “Wait, you both haven’t….” 

“Of course not you dumbass!” Rayleigh snapped. “We didn’t fuck when you disappeared on us when you didn’t even realize we wanted you to join us permanently. Why would we do it when you were literally half dead next to us! What? Did you think I’ve just been riding Roger’s cock in the chair next to your hospital bed?!”

Roger immediately moved towards Rayleigh, placing a calming hand on his shoulder. “Calm Heart, calm. You know how our Paixão's self-worth is, and the factthat  he's an idiot. You'll wake our Red. ” 

“ Do not tell me to calm down, Gol D. Roger, so help me…” Rayleigh hissed, his copper eyes flashing furiously. 

“ Oooh, he brought out your government name, ” Gaban said, putting a hand to his mouth. 

Roger winced and stepped back as Rayleigh slowly turned his head to Gaban, eyes narrowing dangerously at him. Gaban knew immediately that he fucked up and he fucked up big time. Rayleigh was already furious at him, he really shouldn't have added to that fire. His filter just had to fuck off somewhere now of all times!

“Now Leigh, my love, my silver light, you wouldn't yell at me right? Not while I'm holding our precious son and in a hospital bed, right?” Gaban stated nervously, trying to dig himself out of the already deep hole he was in.  

“But there’s so many medical professionals on hand for me to beat the shit out of you!” Rayleigh said cheerily. “I am so fucking furious at you, Scopper Gaban, so fucking furious.” 

Both men watched as Rayleigh took a breath and then another as he turned and strode out the door. Roger sighed as he collapsed in the chair and looked at Gaban, face aging in his exhausted state. “He saw you when you were brought in, he has been berating himself since you tried to get up. Paixão, why? I understand you wanting to protect us. But why are you always so unsure of your place with us? Is it something we have done?”

“You know full well my own lack of self-worth has nothing to do with the two of you.” Gaban said tiredly. “Is it really so bad to always be ready for the other shoe to drop? Seas knows my life has been shit enough to deserve it. Just the disgraced eldest son that got his mother killed because he decided to whore around for the night. Lost my name and my family just to get abused by another crew because I was fifteen and a fucking idiot.”

“I don't know if I should be mad or hurt that you could even think Leigh and I are like that.” Roger exclaimed blankly.

“ I don’t! ” Gaban snapped. “That’s why you two scare the fuck out of me! I don’t know what you want so I can’t ever be sure that I can keep you from becoming sick of me! I don’t know how to be anyone’s anything if that something isn’t a toy or a disappointment!”

Roger got to his feet and pressed his forehead to Gaban’s, hand coming up to cup at his cheek, thumb brushing under the newly healed wound. “We want you with us always, we will never be sick of you Gaban, not now and not ever. You’ll never disappoint us, not like you think but that's part of loving people. We will hurt each other, disappoint one another, infuriate until one or all three of us explode but we will always love each other and work through it… that’s what partners do.” 

“But, you aren’t even trying Paixão, you keep pulling back and it hurts, by the seas, does it hurt.” Roger sighed as he trailed his fingers across the babe’s back, taking a seat once more. “What can Rayleigh and I do to prove that we aren’t like the others? Because whether intentional or not, you’re looking and treating us like we are.” 

“ I don’t know…” Gaban whined softly. “And I am trying. It may not seem like it but I am. I trust you two more than anything or anyone else.”

A thoughtful look crossed Roger’s face. “Rayleigh may be mad at me for this but I think this will make it sink in further.” 

Gaban blinked as Roger pulled a small pouch from the band in his straw hat, the place where he kept important things because the damn thing seemed to defy the laws of all physics and logic and grabbed his hand, tipping the small pouch till the three rings clinked in the center of his hand. His breath hitched as his eyes flashed up to Roger and then to his left hand where his usual ring sat, finger now bare. 

“W–what?” He stuttered out, eyes once again locked on the rings in his hand. 

“Gaban, we want you to be with us, marry us.” Roger said. 

“Rayleigh is going to kill you for not waiting for him.” Gaban said softly his eyes glued to the rings in his palm. “How did you even get my ring size? I never wear jewelry.”

“Same way I got Rayleigh’s, but I'll never share how.” Roger chuckled. 

Gaban stared at the rings in his hand, he knew Rayleigh and Rogers were a woven band of silver and gold, but now there was a new element woven in. Copper. The rings now were a three stranded braid of silver, copper and gold, a perfect blend of all three of them. 

“Paixão?” Roger asked softly, hand coming up to brush away the years that Gaban didn’t realise was falling silently down his face. 

“Are… are you sure about this?” Gaban asked softly once he found his voice again. “My track record in this relationship so far sucks.”

“ Yes I am sure. We are sure.” Roger replied, haki laden and serious. “We choose you, seas Paixão, we love you. We want to spend the rest of our lives with you, if anything we should be asking you that because well… between my chaotic tendencies and Rayleigh’s temper…” 

“You both know when to reign it in well enough.” Gaban hummed softly. “Also Leigh-chan is really hot when he gets pissed. Just preferably not aimed my way.”

A startled laugh escaped Roger at that. “He does, why do you think I used to take him back to the cabin when we had fights. Took all my strength to not throw him down on the deck and fuck him as he rages, same when you laugh and grin as you beat down all who attack us.” 

“Ro-chan please, don’t speak like that while I hold our son and can't do shit to ebb the erection the thoughts will bring.” Gaban begged but shot his love a look. “Unless…” 

“No, it kills me to deny you both but no, not till you’re better.” Roger stood firm on that. “But you haven’t given me your answer Paixão.”

The words died in Gaban's throat as he eyed the rings again. This was a moment, one that shouldn't be filled with witty remarks and flirting. The rings weighed heavy in his hand, an anchor, proof that he was wanted because he knew… he could see how the rings had been reforged. Gold from Rayleigh’s ring and silver from Roger's to twist around the copper. 

“Think about it Paixão, if and when you're ready just wear the ring and give us ours. We can wait, you're worth it.” Roger said softly as he shuffled Shanks to rest in his usual spot at the crook of Gaban’s neck, his little hand immediately latching onto the braid Rayleigh had put in. “For now, get some rest, I'll go find our Leigh and see if he's calmed down.” 

Gaban closed his hand around the rings and pulled them close. They warmed to his touch and weighed heavily on his mind. He turned to nuzzle at Shanks as he shifted against his neck with a snuffle. He never expected to get married or have anyone desire him enough to want to marry him. 

But he liked the idea, belonging to Rayleigh and Roger. He still doesn't know what he did to deserve these two, to be loved by them when he was such a colossal fuck up. His eyes shifted to the baby that was latched onto him, he was a Da now. 

“What do you think Red, should your otou-chan marry your pais?” Gaban whispered as Shanks shifted in his sleep, huffing a laugh as his new son gurgled. “Yeah, I think I should too.” 

He tried to stay awake for both men to return but his injured body soon gave out leaving the pair to return to a sight that had grown used to. There were some differences though, namely that Gaban had a hand splayed gently across their son’s back with the other tucked behind his head in his usual preferred sleeping position as soft snores filled the air. They were so taken by the sight of their third having been awake enough to adjust position compared to the past few weeks of corpse like stillness that at first they missed the gleam of metal from the hand covering little Shanks. 

“ Oh!” Rayleigh gasped in relief and wonder, all of his ire vanishing as he covered Gaban’s hand with his own. “He said yes?” 

“I gave him the option, thought he'd take his time.” Roger breathed out. “He hadn’t given me an answer yet when I went to find you.”

“Well he gave us his answer then.” Rayleigh said awed, pressing a kiss to Gaban’s ring covered hand and resting his own right next to it. It felt weird not having his ring, especially since he never took it off since it had been placed there until Roger asked for it for this but he'd get it back soon. 

“C’mon, heart, it’s getting late. Now that our Paixão is alright you need sleep.” Roger murmured as he gently tugged Rayleigh back from the hospital bed that overtook the living room of the cozy cabin Vivian had graciously let them stay in once Roger had been discharged. 

“But—” Rayleigh started just to get cut off as Roger swung him into a princess carry. “Roger put me down! You’re still not supposed to be lifting heavy things for another week!”

“Good thing you’re not heavy then.” Roger chuckled as he stepped around furniture and medical equipment to head for the bedroom. “Hush now, we wouldn’t want to wake either of our treasures.”

Rayleigh hummed as he curled into Roger once they were crammed into the small bed. He longed for their Passion to be with them, their son curled up with them all. It had been so long since they all could lay together, his eyes trailed over to the door where he could see Gaban’s chest rising and the top of their sons hair. “How did we get so lucky minha?” 

“High sex appeal?” Roger chuckled as he dragged his husband closer before he could smack him. 

He’d used up all of his serious quota on Gaban hours before now he just wanted cuddles with the lover he could hold. He missed Gaban as desperately as Rayleigh but knowing he was now only sleeping instead of the coma had something in his chest easing. It wasn’t the same but he could hear Gaban’s soft snores again instead of the deathly silence. They weren’t loud enough to drown out the soft beeping on the heart monitor that he’d grown used to but the added sound settled his mind like nothing else could. 

“You’re insufferable .” Rayleigh groaned. 

“Maybe, but one, I’m not wrong. Two, you love me anyway.” Roger hummed, hiding his grin in his husband’s soft blonde locks. 

Rayleigh huffed a small laugh. “Don’t know why, you drive me to drink half the time and the rest is turning my grey.” 

“You’d be bored without us, you know it.” Roger chuckled hand coming up to press firmly against his Heart’s scalp. “Rest now love, he’s out of the woods now, you can sleep.” 

Rayleigh hummed, settling further into Roger’s embrace. Still, he knew that Gaban waking would do nothing to stop the nightmares despite the exhaustion dragging insistently at his senses. He hoped the joy of Gaban having awoken, having said yes to marrying them, would keep them at bay but knowing his luck that was unlikely. 

He knew that what would probably hold them off was the feeling of Gaban wrapped around him, his heart under his ear or hand, to be surrounded by the scent that was purely Gaban. Both his lovers smelled different, both of them together smelt of home and the loss of it played tricks on his mind. 

Sighing he felt his eyes slip closed as Roger massaged his scalp, he tried, he really tried not to fall asleep just in case Gaban woke and needed something or Red but he really was tired. Within one blink and the next, Rayleigh jolted to the soft cries of their son, the room was darker now and the fire banked. Roger was snoring curled away from him, both of them somehow swapping sides in the bed during the night. 

He wasn’t too sure how long he had slept for, surprised for once that he didn’t dream. There was no nightmare lingering in his mind or the feel of panic clawing at his heart and a scream lodging in his throat. Perhaps he was right, just the relief of Gaban actually waking up was enough to keep them at bay. 

“Okay, okay, I’m coming.” He whispered as Shanks cried once more. 

A soft yawn ripped free as he carefully extracted himself from Roger’s stranglehold grip and stood. With one more stretch he shuffled from the bedroom over to Gaban’s side so he could scoop up Shanks and get him a bottle before all the noise woke Gaban up. 

“It’s a bit early for you to be up and hungry brat.” Rayleigh chuckled as he rocked a crying Shanks in his arm. “If we didn’t know better I’d say you were a D yourself. What’s wrong, hmm, is your otou-chan’s snoring keeping you awake?”

It was as Shanks finally began to settle loud wails to barely there whimpers that Rayleigh registered how quiet everything was. No soft blips from the heart monitor that had become part of the background soundtrack of his life for the last three weeks, none of Gaban’s soft snores floated in the air as they had earlier in the evening. 

Rayleigh’s heart lurched as his eyes snapped to Gaban, hand clutching Shanks tight to his chest as he willed his body to move. He needed to move closer but he couldn’t, he was frozen to the spot as he stared at how pale his Passion looked, how still. 

“Ga-chan?” The name spilled from his lips in a broken disbelieved whisper. “Love, are… are you awake? Paixão… Paixão, please…” 

Rayleigh managed to take a single step closer, it was as if his body knew and was trying to protect him. Another step and another followed till he was right at his partner’s side, a scream lodged in his throat as his heart hammered loudly in his ears. Gaban’s chest wasn’t moving, his face slack but not in sleep… his lips were blue. Shanks squirmed in his grip but he could barely feel it, his free hand reaching out, fingers shaking as he brushed against Gaban’s ice cold cheek. 

“Gaban… c’mon wake up, this shit isn’t funny.” Rayleigh rasped as he carefully shook his lover’s shoulder. “Ga-chan, no… love, you can’t do us like this. Wake up. Gaban! Wake up! Wake up, god damn it, Gaban!”

“ Please… ” Rayleigh sobbed, shaking the stiff corpse form in the bed harder. “ Please, baby, don't leave us like this. Seas, Ga-chan, wake up! Wake up! Wake up, damn it! R-Roger!!!! ”

Gaban jolted awake at the rush of haki that slammed into him, a groan of pain leaving his lips, hand going to his ribs at the jolt. Shanks screamed in his ear from the sudden movement and Gaban said fuck it to his pain and lifted the babe up to wrap around him. He could hear Roger yelling, could now hear Rayleigh screaming and everything in the house crashing to the ground. 

Damn what the doctors and nurses said, if he had healed enough for them to contort him like they thought he was an acrobat in his last life then he’d healed enough to shuffle the twenty feet to the room where his partner was clearly panicking. A pained grunt left him as he forced himself up and swung his legs off the bed. It was when he went to stand though that he was reminded of a different obstacle as his iv line snagged on the railing stopping him short. Supposedly it was nutrients combined with a slow drip of something to manage the pain but he still felt like shit with how much everything hurt so if it wasn’t going to work worth a damn then he was getting rid of it. 

Roger may be mostly healed but he wasn’t in a state to fight any more than Gaban was but between the two of them they could protect Rayleigh, surely they could. Mind made up he ripped the iv free from the crook of his arm as best he could without dropping his son who was still wailing in his ear. Rayleigh needed him, Roger needed him. The rest of the crew was defending the ship; he was all that stood between his captain, lover, and son. If they got this close he must have failed to kill them all the first time. He couldn’t fail again. He couldn’t be the reason Roger lost his husband. 

Gaban swallowed a pained cry as he finally got his feet on the ground pausing only long enough to lay Shanks in the bed and surround him with pillows and blankets so he wouldn’t fall. “Shhh, little Red, it’s okay. Otou-chan will be right back. I have to save your Pais, little one, stay quiet now so they can’t find you, alright?”

As if he understood, Shanks went silent, wide red eyes staring up from his blotchy tear stained face as Gaban tucked the once pristine white but now blood stained sheets around him. “I’ll come back for you as soon as I can, son, please just stay quiet so they don’t steal you away.”

Satisfied that the baby was as safe as he could be, Gaban turned limping forward as quickly as he could to the darkened room Rayleigh’s screams were echoing from. It hurt. Seas, it hurt. Nonetheless he kept moving breaths coming in sharp pants as he held onto the walls and furniture alike to keep from becoming painfully acquainted with the ground before he could reach his lovers. 

Where the fuck were his axes?! His brothers better not have left them on the mountain so help them. Damn it all, he’d have to fight without them, wouldn’t he?

“Shhh Leigh, it's okay. It was just a nightmare.” Roger's voice filtered out, taking all the panic from Gaban but replacing it with worry. “Paixão is alright, asleep in the next room.”

A grunt left Gaban as he collapsed against the doorway, staring at his lovers and panting harshly. “A–alright? N–no attack?” 

Both Roger and Rayleigh jolted, turning to stare at Gaban, one in horror and one in confusion. Rayleigh’s eyes caught the dark stain in the limited light, could see it dripping down to the floor and bile clawed its way up to his throat. He scrambled, or tried to, to get out of Roger’s hold to get to Gaban. He wasn't going to make the same mistake twice, he wasn't, he swore that he wouldn't be the reason Gaban hurt himself again. Not after last time. 

“Let go! Let go!” Rayleigh cried out as he continued to struggle. An anguished wail ripped free when Roger still refused to release him. “God damn it, Roger, let go ! Can’t you see he’s bleeding?! ”

The reaction was instant and Roger let go immediately. Rayleigh was up and to Gaban’s side in a blink, hands shaking and hovering over him, terrified to touch in fear that this was a dream and Gaban was dead, gone… cold he was ice cold. 

Gaban saw the flash of agony, the hesitation in his lover's hands and actions. He took matters into his own hands and pushed off the wall to collapse against Rayleigh, burying his face into the man's neck. “I'm okay Leigh, scared the shit out of me though with that haki.” 

“You are not!” Rayleigh fretted hands hovering clenching and unclenching with the desire to cling onto Gaban’s form but fear gripped him like a vice. What if this was the dream?! Still there was so much blood. 

“I'm okay Leigh,” Gaban whispered, holding Rayleigh close but bringing the man's hand to his heart for him to feel. 

Roger got to his feet and lit all the lanterns, eyes zeroing in on the blood now covering the entire of Gaban’s side. “I'll get the doctor, Vivian is going to be furious.” 

“Vivian can go get fucked.” Gaban snapped back, shocking both of them. “Her rules are hurting you both. It's just the stitches. I got Leigh-chan love, take Red, I jolted him when I woke.” 

Gaban could feel the wet spot on his shoulder where Rayleigh was hiding his face, he had never seen his lover cry, not once not ever. The fact that he was now just rubbed Gaban the wrong way and made him snappy. Granted he hated that it was the two of them he was snapping at yet and still he couldn’t help it. Not with the battles on the mountain flashing behind his eyes the way they were. 

“It’s time for his nightly bottle anyway.” Roger hummed as he kissed them both. “I’ll be back soon. Gaban, get back in bed at least please. Take care of each other.”

At the mention of Gaban needing to get back in bed, Rayleigh jolted and pulled away, quickly wiping away his tears. “Fuck. I'm such a fucking idiot… sorry, let's get you sitting. Fuck… I'm so sorry Ga-chan.”

“Not… your fault, love,” Gaban grunted, allowing himself to hang off Rayleigh to get back to bed. “Jus’ glad you’re okay… Love you.”

Whatever he just said caused Rayleigh’s face to pale even further, the barely stopped tears to start spilling again and for his hands to grip his arms tightly. The man wouldn't even let him speak as he bullied Gaban to the bed carefully but hurriedly, his hands shaking as he began to pick at the soiled bandages.

“Leigh, hey, Rayleigh… It's okay, I'm okay. What did I say?” Gaban asked as he pulled the man between his legs. 

Rayleigh’s tongue felt stuck in his mouth, a strangled sob leaving him as he tried to pull away enough to continue unwinding the bandages. His fault. This was his fault again. 

“C’mon now, love, I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what I did wrong.” Gaban said gently, using the hand not covered in his own blood to gently wipe the tears away. “Please, Leigh-chan, I love you too much to let you keep suffering because of me.”

Rayleigh shook his head frantically even if he could talk right now he would never tell Gaban this. He’d never let it pass his lips that now every time his Ga-chan said ‘I love you’ all he could feel was the all encompassing panic that overwhelmed him when he said the same as he drowned in his own blood. He couldn’t let him learn that because as much as it terrified him he never wanted Gaban to stop loving him. 

“ Leigh, my love, my silver light… tell me, I don't want my words to hurt you.” Gaban begged softly, cupping Rayleigh's cheek gently.

“Just, just let me get the bandages off before the doc gets here.” Rayleigh managed to get out, his voice panicked. “Just let me do this, please, let me do this. Need. I need to do this.” 

“That’s fine, my love. I won’t stop you.” Gaban said gently. “But my bandages aren’t what made you look so afraid…”

“It's fine, you're fine, need to get these off.” Rayleigh muttered to himself. 

Before Gaban could say anything, the door burst in with Roger and a very exasperated doctor. He sighed tiredly as Vivian followed in after them with a scowl, and Gaban gave up for now. There was no use in trying to fight what was about to happen next, or trying to soothe Rayleigh, not when the she-beast was here and he was being so defensive. 

That’s okay, he could wait, for now. But once they were back on ship and in their cabin, there would be nowhere for Rayleigh to escape him.