Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

As a child, Jinyoung would hear stories about soulmates from his mother every night. “One day, you’ll find yours,” she would tell him. “And it will be the most beautiful moment of your life when you finally find someone who completes you.”

“When I find my soulmate, will I marry them?” Jinyoung had asked once.

“There are different kinds of soulmates, Jinyoungie,” his mother had explained. “You might find a platonic soulmate too, someone who you will never feel romantic attraction to, but who you will still want to spend the rest of your life with.”

“Is it like having a sibling?” Jinyoung had wondered aloud.

His mother had smiled indulgently at her only son. “It’s a very similar relationship to what you have with your sisters, probably even stronger than that.”

Jinyoung had smiled back, before scrunching his face up in confusion. “But how can you tell if someone is a platonic soulmate and not the other kind?”

His mother had ruffled his hair fondly. “Well, you know how you feel the pain when you’re apart for too long, right?”

“And then the pain goes away when you both realize that you’re soulmates!” Jinyoung had added excitedly. He had heard the stories for so long, he knew how they ended.

“That’s right, love,” his mother had replied warmly. “The pain is different for platonic and romantic soulmates. With your platonic soulmate, you’ll feel the pain in your head, because with your friends at your side, you can live with a clear head. But with your romantic soulmate, your heart will be in pain, because only they can make your heart whole.”

~~~

The dream of becoming an idol initially worries Jinyoung. When (if) he becomes an idol and is part of a (hopefully) famous group, what if he catches sight of a fan in the crowd who just happens to be his soulmate? How would he ever find her (or him, because Jinyoung has recently noticed that he might not have a preference) again? But the concern begins to fade from his mind as he gets caught up in auditions and then in the grueling process of training, because he’s too focused on trying to prove himself.

He meets Jaebeom very early in his time as a trainee, and even though they audition together in 2009 and then both end up acting in Dream High 2, he initially doesn’t think much of it. Lim Jaebeom is several months older than Jinyoung, immensely intimidating, dangerously quick to anger, undeniably good-looking, and undoubtedly talented. Jinyoung hadn’t expected to tie for first place with him at auditions, but he does, and that marks the start of them spending more time with each other than without.

Ending up in a duo with him is something Jinyoung hadn’t anticipated, but he finds that he’s much less wary about it than he expected. They’ve gotten to know each other pretty well given the amount of time they see each other. JJ Project solidifies their relationship, changes everything for good, because now they spend every hour of every day together. Jinyoung quickly comes to realize that underneath all his piercings and his dauntingly attractive face, Jaebeom is remarkably similar to him, sharing his taste in books, movies, and music. The two of them stay up late into the night, talking and laughing about nothing and everything, learning each other so thoroughly that soon they know each other just as well as they know themselves.

Jinyoung’s favorite moments are the ones when it’s just the two of them in their hotel room, his head in Jaebeom’s lap as one of them reads aloud to the other. They’re precious moments of calm in the whirlwind that is their lives, and Jinyoung cherishes them fully.

(“Jaebeom-hyung, what do you think of soulmates?” Jinyoung asks on one of those nights, Jaebeom’s hand absentmindedly stroking through Jinyoung’s hair as he finishes reading the love story they’ve been taking turns reading for the last few days.

“I don’t know...I think it seems a little too convenient,” Jaebeom replies offhandedly as he places the book back on the nightstand. “Just having someone who completes you, it feels too easy, you know? And what if you fall in love with someone who isn’t your soulmate? Do you just forget them when you finally do meet your soulmate?” He looks a little wistful, Jinyoung thinks. He wonders whether Jaebeom is speaking from experience, and then he wonders why he feels a faint sense of jealousy bubbling up inside him at the thought.

“But you still have to work to find them, you know, hyung. Finding out that you belong together after experiencing the pain of being apart, isn’t there something beautiful about that?” Jinyoung tells him earnestly. “My mother always told me that the universe wants you and your soulmate to be together. So it would be unlikely for you to fall in love with someone else, but if it did happen, then I think it would be for a good reason.”

Jaebeom smiles fondly down at him. “You’re a real romantic, Jirongie. But I guess you’re right. It’s not easy to find a soulmate.”

“No,” Jinyoung sighs softly as he gazes back up at the older boy. “I wish it was.” I kind of wish you were my soulmate, he almost says, and - where did that come from? But even as he clears his head of the fleeting thought, it strikes him that he’s not really surprised by the revelation. More than anything else, it feels almost inevitable, like no matter what, he would have felt this at some point, and he thinks that it should probably worry him more than it does. He sighs again and shifts so that his head is no longer in Jaebeom’s lap. “Well, good night, hyung.”

Jaebeom, blissfully unaware of Jinyoung’s sudden inner turmoil, ruffles the younger’s hair slightly before leaning over to turn off the light. “Night, Jinyoungie.”)

The more they perform together, film together, work together, the more Jinyoung notices how well they balance each other. He learns exactly how to effectively soothe Jaebeom’s fits of rage and in turn, Jaebeom learns how to mitigate Jinyoung’s anxieties of not being enough for their fans. They form a kind of equilibrium filled with respect and admiration. He’d never say it out loud, but Jinyoung thinks it’s a shame that they’ll have to let go of each other when they find their soulmates, because he can’t imagine feeling more complete than this.

~~~

JYP tells them that JJ Project isn’t doing as well as they’d like, and that they’ll be taking a break. “For now,” they say, but all Jinyoung can hear is You weren’t good enough.

He had honestly thought his first instinct would be to get as far away from Jaebeom as possible, but instead, he finds himself wrapped up in the older’s embrace, an overwhelming feeling of peace settling over him even as frustration and doubt cycle though his thoughts.

“We’re going to be okay, Jinyoungie,” Jaebeom murmurs, and Jinyoung can’t explain it, but he believes him. “We’ll be back. You and me, we’ll make it again, and we’ll be better than ever.”

They go back to training, but now everyone knows they’re the resident inseparable duo, and that makes it easier to deal with the looks Jinyoung knows people are sending their way.

It happens one day while Jaebeom is getting them some water. Jinyoung has noticed the boy before; he’s very quiet, very reserved, doesn’t talk to many people because he’s from America and isn’t very confident in his Korean yet. (In fact, Jinyoung has only seen him speak to one boy before: an outgoing, wide-eyed Hong Kong native who is also fluent in English. They’re an odd pair, Jinyoung thinks, but there’s also something about the way they interact that makes Jinyoung believe it isn’t just the common language that’s drawing them to each other.) But on this particular day, Jinyoung’s attention is caught because the boy had been missing for the previous two days; Jinyoung has also had a horrible headache for the same amount of time and it’s been frustratingly distracting, but when he glances at the boy, the pain is suddenly gone.

Jinyoung’s already on his way over when he fully realizes the gravity of what this must mean. “Hi,” he starts abruptly, halting in front of the boy. “I’m Jinyoung.”

The boy blinks up at him from where he’s sitting. He looks a little confused, but he replies slowly, timidly, “My name is Mark.”

“I think you’re my soulmate,” Jinyoung blurts out. Mark looks understandably shocked and also slightly panicked. Jinyoung’s eyes widen and he backtracks hastily. “I mean, my platonic soulmate! Sorry, I just - my head has been hurting for a while, and I think it started two days ago, and you haven’t been here for two days, and it just stopped when I looked at you, and -”

“Me too,” Mark interrupts, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I think you’re right. I wasn’t here because they told me I have to do some specific training for my flips and tricking, but my headache got too bad so they let me come back.” He pats the ground next to him invitingly, a shy smile on his face, and Jinyoung sits gratefully. It strikes him then that this lovely, shy boy will come to be one of the most important people in his life. The thought makes him smile back at Mark widely. “I was concerned when you just said ‘soulmate,’” Mark continues, “because you already have your romantic one, don’t you?”

“What?” Jinyoung asks, feeling slightly bewildered. “No, I haven’t found mine yet.”

Mark looks equally surprised. “Oh! I just assumed you and your friend JB...you seem very close.”

Jinyoung gapes at him for a second. “No! No, we’re not - we’re just - we’re friends,” he finishes lamely.

Mark lets out a soft laugh. “Jinyoung, I’ve known you for about five minutes, but even I know there’s more to it than that.”

(“Who’s this?” Jaebeom asks after Jinyoung waves him over to where he’s still sitting with Mark. He hands Jinyoung one of the bottles he’s holding as he sits down in front of them.

“I’m Mark Tuan,” Mark tells him, giving him a friendly smile.

“Hi,” Jaebeom replies, still looking a little confused. “My name’s Lim Jaebeom.” He tilts his head a little at Jinyoung, which Jinyoung knows to mean Who is he to you?

“Jaebeom-hyung,” Jinyoung says quietly, a small smile on his face, “he’s my soulmate.”

Jinyoung turns to look at Mark, so he misses the way Jaebeom’s eyes narrow a little, all traces of confusion gone and replaced by something slightly more hostile as he asks, “What?”

The dangerous growl in his voice, the undercurrent of anger lacing the question goes unnoticed by Jinyoung, who is still blissfully oblivious to sudden darkening of his friend’s expression, but Mark catches it immediately. “Platonic soulmate,” he adds hurriedly. “Not romantic.”

Jaebeom relaxes as Jinyoung turns back to face him and explain, “That’s why my head was hurting so much, hyung!”

“Oh.” Jaebeom smiles a little sheepishly. “That makes a lot more sense. Well, nice to meet you, Mark. And congratulations, Jinyoungie!” Jaebeom pulls the younger boy into a quick side hug, ruffling his hair fondly. Jinyoung is too busy pretending to be disgruntled and hiding his beaming smile to notice Mark watching them with a knowing expression on his face.)

~~~

It’s a very different experience, living with a group instead of just one other person. When it was just him and Jaebeom, there was more work for each of them because everything was divided between two people, but Jinyoung still felt less responsibility than he does now. Jaebeom is the leader, of course, so he’s mostly in charge of everything, but Jinyoung finds himself slipping into the “mother” role almost naturally. While Jaebeom makes sure everyone knows their schedules and comes to practices on time and rests their voices appropriately, Jinyoung makes sure they eat properly and shower regularly and sleep on time.

The other members provide an interesting mix of personalities. There’s Mark, who’s just as quiet and reserved as when Jinyoung first met him, the oldest of all of them but always quick to obey both Jaebeom and Jinyoung. Jinyoung feels inexpressibly grateful that he’s going to have his soulmate at his side throughout this entire experience. He’s already gotten to know Mark well over the course of training, and now they get to enter a new era of their lives together.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, there’s Jackson, the boy who Mark had made friends with during training, who has most excitable personality Jinyoung has ever seen. He’s loud and cheerful and never gives up an opportunity to tease anyone and everyone in the group, but he’s also never truly disrespectful. He’s particularly close with Mark and Bambam, which they attribute to their multiple common languages, but he has such an approachable personality that it’s impossible for any of the others to not get along with him as well. Jinyoung still thinks there’s a deeper connection between Mark and Jackson, that they must be soulmates, because how could they not be with the way they look at each other?

Youngjae, the last member to join, starts out shy and slightly intimidated because he joined after the rest of them got to know each other a bit, but once he acclimates to his surroundings, he turns out be to quite outgoing and extremely easy to amuse, his unrestrained and distinct laughter a common sound in the dorm. It’s very evident that Youngjae is slightly in awe of Jaebeom and Jinyoung, that he looks up to the both of them as role models. One day, he privately confesses to Jinyoung that he feels underprepared because he only trained for 7 months, and as he reassures the younger boy, Jinyoung thinks that of all the members, Youngjae will probably be the one he’ll end up mothering the most.

At first glance, Bambam, despite his attempts to change this perception of himself, seems like he could be the youngest and most innocent member of the group. That is, until they actually get to know him, upon which he quickly proves that appearances can be deceiving. He’s cute when he wants something and the most mischievous person around the rest of the time. He has no qualms with being hyper at all hours, especially when Jackson, who he worships like an older brother, is around. Jinyoung thinks Bambam will probably be the most exhausting to look after, but even as he thinks it, he knows that he’ll likely be incapable of feeling anything but fondness for the younger boy regardless.

In all honesty, Yugyeom doesn’t seem like he’s the youngest of the group a lot of the time. When he’s performing, Yugyeom gains another level of confidence; he dances without restraint and pours his emotions into his singing. He hangs out with Bambam a lot because they’re the closest in age, and being around the Thai boy makes Yugyeom seem older even though he’s not. But there are those small moments, like when he gets shy in front of people of importance or when he quietly asks for help with a homework assignment, when Jinyoung is reminded that Yugyeom is still their little maknae.

And of course, there’s Jaebeom, who Jinyoung can’t believe is still by his side after all this time. He seems more mature now, less quick to anger and more confident in his role as leader. But he’s also more open and animated. Instead of reprimanding the other members for their crazy antics, Jaebeom joins them, more often than not. He has more of a handle on his emotions, so he’s less afraid of being snarky and sarcastic, always having a witty retort against even Bambam’s sharp tongue. Jinyoung is amazed at how, after all this time, he’s still utterly captivated by Jaebeom; he’s starting to think there will probably never be a time when he isn’t.

Jinyoung finds that of the whole experience, the part he’s most afraid of isn’t the new members he’s gotten to know, or the thought of debuting again, or even living up to the expectations of JYP and surpassing what he did with JJ Project. What he’s really afraid of is losing the relationship he has with Jaebeom. He had gotten so used to it being just the two of them, to the quiet nights spent in each other’s company, and he realizes now that he’s scared of being forgotten.

(He confides in Mark one night. “Mark-hyung, is it normal for me to be scared that Jaebeom-hyung won’t treat me the same as he used to?” He feels a little childish for asking, but Mark has never faulted him for allowing himself to be vulnerable around him.

Mark smiles gently. “Jinyoungie, I can’t promise that he’ll treat you the same because I don’t think he will. With just the two of you, he could focus all his attention on you, but now as the leader, he can’t do that. He’s responsible for all 6 of us now.”

“I know,” Jinyoung sighs. “I know it’s selfish of me to want things to be the way they were.”

“But it doesn’t mean he won’t still feel the same way for you,” Mark reminds him. “You have a different kind of relationship, one that no one else will be able to have with him. Some things will change, of course, but the feelings will still be there.”

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jinyoung asks.

“You’re like the mother of the group, right? Well, Jaebeom is like the father,” Mark explains. “And a husband doesn’t stop loving his wife just because they had children. He loves their children now too, but he still has a special love that’s just for his wife.”

Jinyoung blushes. “Mark-hyung, it’s not like that!”

“The other members and me, we’re your kids!” Mark insists, grinning at Jinyoung. “And you and Jaebeom really do act like you’re married sometimes, you know. Anyway, when you finally realize that Jaebeom is your soulmate, you’ll understand.”

“He isn’t!” Jinyoung pouts at the older boy. “Why are you so convinced he is?”

“Why are you so convinced he isn’t?” Mark counters.

Jinyoung pauses, because he’d be lying to himself if he said that he hasn’t been half in love with Jaebeom for years now. But he also can’t admit it out loud, can’t let himself believe that Jaebeom might actually be his soulmate, because it’ll just hurt him if he isn’t. So instead he sighs and tells Mark the explanation he uses to justify it to himself. “I used to ask my mom, ‘What if you’re never separated from your soulmate for long enough to feel the pain?’ She’d tell me, ‘The universe wants you and your soulmate to be together, to find one another. So life always finds a way to separate you, so that you can find your way back to each other.’” Jinyoung smiles a little sadly. “If we really were soulmates, we would have been separated by now, wouldn’t we? But so far, life has only found ways to keep me and Jaebeom-hyung together.”)

~~~

Assigning the members their rooms and roommates is officially Jaebeom’s job, which means, of course, that he has very little actual control over the situation.

(His original plan had been to designate rooms without consulting anyone to avoid the hassle of accommodating everyone. He had run this by Jinyoung before actually doing it, which was fortunate because Jinyoung immediately knew the strategy would definitely not end well.

“It’s not going to work, Jaebeom-hyung,” Jinyoung had informed him. “You’ll have a full uprising on your hands.”

Jaebeom had groaned. “But it’s so much more work to try and work with all their requests. You know how they’ll be.”

Jinyoung had patted his shoulder comfortingly. “You’re the one who wanted kids, hyung,” he had said teasingly. (So he stole the line from Mark. So what? It doesn’t mean anything.) He had flashed a smile at the older boy, effectively missing the way Jaebeom had reddened slightly and the embarrassed but pleased smile Jaebeom had sent his way as he walked out the door.)

Jinyoung admits that even though the plan definitely wouldn’t have worked, Jaebeom had been right about it being more work to consult the members.

“I want to be with Yugyeom, hyung!” Bambam calls as soon as he hears why they’ve gathered for an impromptu meeting.

“What? You’re abandoning me?” Jackson gasps in mock hurt. “What kind of betrayal is this?”

“Bambam likes me more, hyung,” Yugyeom says sagely. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

“Hello, boys, can we focus?” Jaebeom sighs.

“Fine, I don’t need you anyway, Bambam,” Jackson replies smugly, somewhat ignoring Jaebeom as he turns to Mark. “Mark is who I wanted to room with anyway.” He flashes Mark a grin, who sends him a pleased smile in return.

Jinyoung sighs internally. He had sustained a little hope that maybe he would be able to room with Mark (because he had already firmly told himself that Jaebeom would be out of the question; as leader, it’s more useful for him to room with one of the younger members). But he would never separate Mark from Jackson, not when he’s watching the younger boy’s antics with such a fond expression on his face.

Meanwhile, Jaebeom is trying (and failing) to convince Bambam and Yugyeom that the maknaes shouldn’t room together because they should have an older member with them. The youngsters (mostly only Bambam) are accusing him of being “a grandfather” and “too old fashioned.” He catches Jinyoung’s eyes, silently pleading for help.

Jinyoung gives him a look: Just let them do it. You’re not going to win this one.

Jaebeom sends back a slightly wary Are you sure? Will they be okay? to which Jinyoung nods. “Okay, fine,” Jaebeom tells the youngest members. Bambam and Yugyeom had been watching Jaebeom and Jinyoung’s wordless conversation in confusion, but their attention is diverted by the concession.

“Mom and dad are letting us be roommates!” they cheer delightedly, dancing around the room in an overly-dramatic manner. Jinyoung rolls his eyes fondly at the sight.

“Me and Jackson can room together, right?” Mark asks, his soft voice just loud enough to be heard over the maknaes’ celebratory chanting. There’s no reason for him to ask, not really, because there’s no way anyone would ever have said no, but Jaebeom sends him a grateful smile for asking anyway as he verifies it. Jackson grins at the approval and joins Bambam and Yugyeom in their celebrations, much to Mark’s amusement.

“Jaebeom-hyung, can I be in your room?” Youngjae has been relatively quiet the whole time, and he sounds a little nervous, almost unconsciously glancing at Jinyoung as he asks. Jaebeom tenses in a way that would have been imperceptible if Jinyoung didn’t know him so well, his eyes meeting Jinyoung’s again.

Don’t leave him waiting for an answer! Jinyoung scolds silently.

I can’t give him one! is Jaebeom’s slightly panicked reply.

Jinyoung knows why he’s so reluctant, and as much as he’s touched that Jaebeom would still want to room with him, as much as he wants it too, he also knows that Youngjae needs it more. It’s okay, hyung, he conveys with his eyes. I don’t mind.

Jaebeom still looks mildly concerned. Only if you’re sure.

Jinyoung inclines his head minimally. I’m sure.

“Of course, Youngjae,” Jaebeom says at last, smiling at him.

Youngjae has been looking back and forth between them anxiously, and he looks immensely relieved and pleased at the answer, which makes Jinyoung incapable of regretting his decision.

(“What was with all the eyebrow wiggling before?” Jackson asks Jinyoung later. “I thought you two were having a fit or something.”

“We were just confirming the rooming arrangements,” Jinyoung says defensively. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

“You mean you were actually communicating real words like that?” Jackson sounds incredulous. “Just with your eyes?”

Jinyoung shrugs. “Yeah, it makes it easier to have quick conversations. Especially when other people are around.”

Jackson shakes his head. “You know, it’s incredible that you two haven’t realized how perfect you are for each other yet.”

“That’s funny, coming from you,” Jinyoung says, the shadow of a smile on his face. “You know, as Mark’s platonic soulmate, I’m obligated to hunt you down if you hurt him.”

It has the intended effect; Jackson reddens and hisses, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jinyoung lets a full smile spread across his face. “Sure you don’t.”)

~~~

Jackson falls sick some time after they debut, and at first, they think it’s just a cold, that it’ll fade away soon. After three days, it becomes clear that it’s more serious than that. JYP is adamant that Jackson rests, which everyone except Jackson is strongly in favor of. “Rest” means that Jackson isn’t at dance practices, which fortunately are the only major events in their schedules for the week. None of the other members can just skip their practices, though, so a staff member stays with Jackson while they’re gone.

(“I’m fine!” Jackson insists as he tries to sit up, his eyes immediately watering at the effort. “I can come, I swear.”

“Shut up,” Mark says, his tone leaving no room for argument. Jackson sinks back into the pillows in a mixture of defeat and exhaustion. “You’re staying here.”

“It’s only dance practice, Jackson,” Jinyoung tells him soothingly. “You’ll be able to make it up in no time.” Which is true, because there’s never a lack of dance practices. They’re all in agreement that Jackson will be fine.)

It only takes one day for Jinyoung to notice something is wrong. Everyone is slightly off during practice on the first day, which they all know is because they’re a bit shaken about Jackson’s condition. They’ve been doing day-long practices, with half-hour breaks every so often and a longer break for lunch, so by the time it’s evening, they’ve been there for over 12 hours and they’re all wiped out.

Bambam and Mark seem to be in the most distress, the former complaining about a headache and the latter being even more quiet than usual. Jinyoung can see the discomfort on his face, though, and he instinctively knows that Mark is in some kind of pain. When practice finally ends for the day, Bambam is immediately crawling over to Jaebeom, pleading for a head massage. (“Maybe when we get back to the dorm,” Jaebeom concedes in response to the incessant requests, much to Bambam’s delight.) Mark says virtually nothing the entire ride home, which makes Jinyoung more worried about him.

They all make a beeline for Jackson’s room as soon as they reach, Jinyoung and Jaebeom halfheartedly trying to keep the others calm so they don’t wake Jackson up if he’s sleeping, but the truth is, they’re just as eager to see him. Mark is immediately at Jackson’s side, hand pressed to his forehead to see if there’s been any improvement. Jinyoung doesn’t miss how Mark’s discomfort seems to fade as he frets over Jackson, and how Bambam, too, seems remarkably improved, if his steady stream of chatter updating Jackson on the events of the day is anything to go by. He suddenly has a sneaking suspicion about what’s going on with them.

After Youngjae has finished providing Jackson with entertainment (his own words) in the form of him trying to speak English and Yugyeom has successfully demonstrated part of a dance they changed slightly, Jaebeom and Jinyoung make sure Jackson has ingested enough fluids and taken the medicines he needs to before declaring that Jackson has experienced enough excitement for the day and clearing everyone out of the room.

The next day at practice, Jinyoung watches Mark and Bambam more closely, trying to confirm his suspicions. Sure enough, Bambam starts complaining at about the same time he did yesterday, and Mark’s uncomfortable expression seems even worse than it was yesterday. They sit together on the ride home, Mark’s arm around Bambam’s shoulders comfortingly as they commiserate. This time, while the others catch up with Jackson, Jinyoung approaches Jackson’s caretaker and asks if Jackson had complained about any specific pains in the evening.

“Well, he did mention his head started hurting a lot more towards the end of the day,” she informs him. “And actually, he said that his chest was hurting as well, on both days. But not at the beginning of the day, always at the end.”

Jinyoung thanks her, then carefully drags Bambam out of the room. His news is easier to talk about, and anyway, there’s no way he’s going to figure it out himself. “Bambam, I have something important to tell you.”

“What is it, hyung?” Bambam asks excitedly.

Jinyoung can’t help smiling at him. “I think I know why your head has been hurting.” Bambam’s head tilts in confusion. “I think Jackson is your platonic soulmate.”

Bambam’s mouth drops open. “What? Really? How do you know?”

“I’m almost positive,” Jinyoung says. “Your headaches have both started after being away from him for about 12 hours, and he’s had headaches at exactly the same time. And your headache went away when you saw him both days, right?”

Bambam nods in agreement, looking delighted at the news. “I didn’t even think of that! I should tell him!”

“But maybe wait until the rest of them are out, okay? I’ll make sure you can talk to him alone,” Jinyoung says. Bambam nods happily and Jinyoung ruffles his hair fondly. “Now, let’s get back in there.”

While Bambam talks to Jackson one-on-one, Jinyoung decides it’s time to do the same with Mark. He brings Mark to his room and makes sure they’re both comfortably seated on his bed before starting to speak. “Mark-hyung, I think you already know what we have to talk about.”

Mark sighs. “I should have guessed you would notice.”

“Of course I noticed, hyung,” Jinyoung says quietly. “I was worried about you.” Then, more softly, “What does it feel like?”

“It’s like someone stabbed a knife through my heart, honestly,” Mark tells him. “It got worse today, like the knife was being twisted or something. But it’s also kind of surreal, because I knew what it meant immediately, you know?”

“He felt it too,” Jinyoung throws out casually. “He was complaining about his chest hurting around the same time you felt it. Although knowing him, he’s probably convinced himself that it’s just part of his sickness.” Mark says nothing, his face shy as he makes eye contact with Jinyoung. “When did you know? For sure?”

Mark tilts his head, considering. “Obviously, when I got to our room and saw him and the pain was suddenly gone, I knew 100 percent. But to be honest, I think part of me knew, or at least hoped, even before. When I first started feeling it, my first thought was of him.”

Jinyoung nods in understanding. They sit in silence for a little while before Jinyoung speaks again. “Hey, Mark-hyung.” Jinyoung smiles at him. “Jackson is your soulmate.”

Mark’s face breaks out into a soft, genuinely happy smile. “I know.”

(“Where’s Mark?” Jaebeom asks the next morning.

“Still with Jackson-hyung,” Bambam informs him. “Hey, hyung, Jackson-hyung is my platonic soulmate, did you know?” (In fact, Jaebeom does know, because Bambam has reminded the other members of the fact at least 13 times since they woke up this morning.)

“Well, he’s my romantic soulmate, so who’s the real winner here?” a voice interrupts smugly, and they all turn to see Mark practically glowing with happiness as he stands next to a slightly pale, but much healthier and visibly content Jackson in the doorway.

There’s a moment of silence as the others absorb the information, before Bambam is shrieking “Ewwww!” while trying to hide the grin on his face and Yugyeom is attacking Mark and Jackson with congratulatory hugs and Youngjae is turning to Jinyoung delightedly and saying “I knew it!” and Jaebeom is teasing them with a joking “No funny business in your room, you two!” It’s really nice, Jinyoung thinks, to see them all so happy.)

~~~

They get their first break, but neither Jinyoung nor Jaebeom go home. It’s mere coincidence that both their parents decide that they’re going to come to Seoul within a few days of each other, but it works out so that they both remain living in the dorm together. Jinyoung is a little disappointed that he won’t be going home, but he’s also just happy that he’ll get some time with his parents, regardless of where they are.

Needless to say, he and Jaebeom get a lot of time to spend with just the two of them. At Jaebeom’s insistence, Jinyoung temporarily occupies Youngjae’s spot in Jaebeom’s room for the duration of the break, and they spend their nights reading and talking and laughing together. It feels like they’ve traveled back in time, back to when it was just the two of them all day, every day.

(They get little reminders that things have changed. Jinyoung, ever concerned about the well-being of his friends, had told the other members to keep in touch over the break, and of course, they all had different interpretations of the request.

Yugyeom dutifully sends Jinyoung a text every evening with a brief description of what he did during the day and always ending with a reminder that he misses him and Jaebeom.

Bambam sends both Jinyoung and Jaebeom texts every few hours, with detailed explanations of where he went and who he was with. When they compare their messages, Jaebeom and Jinyoung find that Bambam is sending them the exact same messages, except Jinyoung’s are addressed to “Mom” and Jaebeom’s to “Dad.” Jinyoung wonders why he expected anything different.

Youngjae chooses to call Jinyoung on Skype every evening, because “I want to talk to you and Jaebeom-hyung face-to-face!” The three of them end up having hour-long conversations every time. Jinyoung has no idea what they talk about for so long, but the Skype calls are something he and Jaebeom come to look forward to each day.

Jackson’s texts are much more infrequent, coming once every one or two days, but Jinyoung knows that it means that Jackson is spending as much time as he can with his parents, so he doesn’t really mind.

Mark texts at least once a day and calls once or twice over the course of the break. He lets Jinyoung know what he’s been up to and also provides him with secondary accounts of what Jackson’s been doing, because the two of them make it a point to call each other every night at least for a little while. Jinyoung can always hear Mark’s happiness when he talks about Jackson; it fills him with warmth to know that Mark is truly content.)

Most of the time, though, when they’re not out with their parents, it’s just Jinyoung and Jaebeom hanging out together. It’s Jinyoung waking up first and making two cups of coffee, leaving one out where he knows Jaebeom will come to get it half an hour later without worrying whether Bambam or Yugyeom will take it instead. It’s Jaebeom finding Jinyoung curled up in one of Jaebeom’s sweatshirts, reading in the living room instead of the confines of his own room. It’s easy, and it’s nice, and it feels so natural that it never even crosses Jinyoung’s mind that it probably isn’t normal to be so in tune with someone.

(Jinyoung’s parents come with him to the dorm one of the days and since they already know Jaebeom, they settle in easily. As he and Jaebeom sort out who’ll order the food for everyone (Jaebeom) and who’s responsible for setting the table (Jinyoung) and who’ll do the dishes afterwards (both of them, because it’s more fun together), Jinyoung’s mother watches them interact with each other with a strange look on her face.

Later, she pulls him aside and asks, “Tell me the truth, Jinyoungie. Is Jaebeom your soulmate?”

Jinyoung gapes at her. “No, he isn’t...why would you think that?” Why does everyone think that?

His mother still looks suspicious. “You two fit together perfectly. You can have full conversations without ever saying a word, I saw you do it. You clearly know each other like the backs of your hands. But most of all, you both look at each other like there’s nothing in the world you’d rather be looking at.”

Jinyoung blushes. “So maybe I have a little crush. That doesn’t mean he’s my soulmate.”

His mother laughs fondly, ruffling his hair as she speaks. “Don’t try to play it down, Jinyoungie, I can see that it’s a little more serious than that. You’ve never been apart from him for more than 12 hours since you met him, have you?” Jinyoung shakes his head, vaguely registering how crazy that statement really is. “So you don’t know for sure, then, do you?” she says. “You might not be able to see now that what you have with him is special, but I have a feeling that one day, you’ll understand.”)

The first evening after the others leave, Jaebeom complains about a headache. “My head hurts, Jirongie, massage it for me?” Jinyoung would never say no, so they settle on Jaebeom’s bed, Jaebeom’s head in Jinyoung’s lap, and they talk quietly as Jinyoung carefully massages Jaebeom’s head.

The headache doesn’t go away over the course of the break, despite Jinyoung’s daily massages and Jaebeom taking painkillers. “It could be a soulmate headache, hyung,” Jinyoung says on the fifth and final day of the break.

“But who -” Jaebeom breaks off and his eyes widen slightly. “Jinyoungie, a headache. Didn’t -”

“Youngjae,” Jinyoung finishes for him, wondering how they hadn’t figured it out sooner. “He’s had a headache too. The whole break.”

“Youngjae,” Jaebeom repeats. “I didn’t even realize, but it was always less noticeable when we were talking to him. It makes sense, doesn’t it?”

Jinyoung smiles at him. “It’s perfect, really. He’s going to be thrilled.”

(“My platonic soulmate? Really?” Youngjae’s eyes are alight with happiness.

“Would I make this up?” Jaebeom grins back. “As if I could lie to my favorite roommate.”

Youngjae beams as Jaebeom wraps an arm around his shoulders fondly. A moment later, though, he tilts his head to the side. “So now that we’re officially bonded and all, tell me, are you excited for when you and Jinyoung-hyung finally realize you’re soulmates too?”

Jaebeom splutters and reddens slightly. “What? We’re not - it doesn’t work like that, Youngjae-yah.”

“But it’s true,” Youngjae insists. “Jaebeom-hyung, you’re already pretty much completely in love with him. Trust me, I’m your other soulmate. I know.”)

~~~

Jinyoung has always adored children. There’s a legitimate reason why he accepts and embraces his role as GOT7’s mom: he genuinely loves the idea of being a parent. When Yugyeom and Mark arrive hand in hand with two little girls for their most recent Real GOT7 episode, Jinyoung is delighted.

They all try very hard to win the favor of Dabin and Liye, which turns out to be more difficult than anticipated. Everyone is eventually met with some success, except for Jaebeom, who Jinyoung notices hasn’t been able to spend time with either girl for very long. Jinyoung laughs about it along with everyone else, but he also feels sympathy for the leader, who clearly wants to play with them too (and maybe there’s a part of Jinyoung that really, really wants to see Jaebeom interacting with children).

Jinyoung, on the other hand, after cooing at her and coddling her for some time, earns Dabin’s affection and manages to retain it for the rest of the day. She even chooses him as her favorite and as the most handsome, which he’s very pleased about. (“You sure knew what you were doing when you took on the ‘mom’ role,” Mark teases softly.) Bambam, surprisingly enough, is also a recipient of the girls’ favor, while Youngjae and Yugyeom almost start paying more attention to the dog than the children, which Jinyoung finds amusing but not entirely unexpected.

At some point, Jinyoung finds himself seated with Dabin on his left and Jaebeom on his right. He and Jaebeom aren’t the only ones playing with her - Mark is as well, and the others are trying to be involved too - but Jinyoung finds it hard to ignore the way his chest feels a little tighter, the way his heart is beating just a little faster at the feeling of interacting with a child alongside Jaebeom. It makes him want, want things with Jaebeom that can’t ever possibly come to fruition, but he can’t stop imagining them anyway.

(Later, Jaebeom stands off to the side, observing the other members - or maybe just one specifically.

“Jaebeom,” Mark says, his voice full of amusement as he stands beside the leader, quietly watching the younger members play with the children. “You’re staring.”

“So are you,” Jaebeom replies defensively, instinctively trying to cover his embarrassment at being caught. He’s been watching Jinyoung the entire time, trying to ignore the way his heart tightens every time the younger boy smiles at the children, the way his brain is overwhelmed with desire and want every time Jinyoung carries one of them in his arms. He can’t stop himself, because if there’s one thing Jaebeom knows for sure after all these years, it’s that when it comes to Park Jinyoung, his usually strong emotional walls are rendered useless. So he deals with the problem by pretending it’s not there, which is why he turns to Mark and continues, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you watching Jackson this whole time.”

Mark doesn’t bother trying to hide the fond smile on his face as he watches his boyfriend play with the little girl (but then again, he doesn’t need to, because he and Jackson have the security of knowing that the other is it for them). “He’s so good with her, I can’t help it. Maybe it’s the soulmate thing that’s making me feel like this, or maybe it’s just the fact that I’m in too deep and I want everything with him.”

It’s strange, hearing Mark talk like this, because he’s not always so open about his feelings. “Do you ever think about having a family with him someday?” Jaebeom asks curiously.

“All the time,” Mark murmurs. “Obviously, we can’t have that right now, but we both agree that it’s okay, that we can wait. Jackson always says we’ve already got our hands full with our baby Bambam anyway.” He laughs softly. “I can’t say he’s wrong about that.”

“It must be nice,” Jaebeom says wistfully. “Already having that reassurance, some idea of what your life will be like.” He’s no longer looking at Mark as he says it, his eyes again fixed on Jinyoung talking with the children excitedly.

“Why don’t you just tell him, Jaebeom?” Mark sighs. “We all know how you feel about him. What are you afraid of?”

“He’s already in love with his soulmate, Mark,” Jaebeom replies shortly, sadly. He’s thought about it before, finally telling Jinyoung after all this time, but he never goes through with it because even if Jinyoung happens to feel the same way right now, there will still be his soulmate in the future, and he would never force Jinyoung to make that choice. “I can’t compete with that person, whoever it might be, not when they’re his perfect match, his other half.”

“He doesn’t know who that person is, though. He’s in love with the idea of his soulmate, not the person themselves,” Mark reminds him. “And really, Jaebeom, I think that if you’re not his soulmate, then the whole idea of soulmates is flawed. I’ve known you two for a long time now, and I’ve never seen two people who complete each other the way you do. In all honesty, no one will ever be able to convince me that you two aren't each other’s other half.”)

~~~

In a frankly unexpected turn of events, Mark and Youngjae adopt a dog together. At first, almost every other member had found some reason to describe the whole situation as odd. Jinyoung’s main problem had been that Mark hadn’t even told him he wanted a dog. So when Mark and Youngjae just showed up at the dorm with the world’s tiniest dog in their arms, Jinyoung had felt like the world had gone crazy. “Is that a dog?” he had asked a little dazedly. Mark and Yugyeom had proudly proclaimed that in fact, it is a dog, and that its name is Coco, and that they’re both the owners. (Mark told Jinyoung later that he’s actually always wanted a dog, and he’d talked to Youngjae about it once, who had suggested that they ask for permission to get one. Mark had initially written the idea off as ludicrous, but he slowly warmed up to it and eventually, he and Youngjae privately got permission to go through with it. “Actually, it’s still ludicrous,” Jinyoung had informed him. “You’re lucky Coco is so cute. I couldn’t be mad even if I tried.”)

Jackson had initially spent time pouting and complaining that since Mark adopted a dog with someone else, it technically counts as cheating - “on your soulmate, Mark, how could you?” (Mark’s strategy for dealing with the situation usually consisted of him dragging Jackson out of the room and disappearing for long stretches of time. They always returned with flushed faces and messy hair and bright red lips that left absolutely no room for doubt about what they were up to, and that also raised questions about Jackson’s true motives for bringing up the argument so often. Bambam never failed to voice his very loud, very vocal objections to such displays, and Youngjae frequently told Mark that he was ruining Coco’s innocence by keeping this up.)

Jaebeom, meanwhile, had an issue with the fact that Youngjae didn’t ask him to be Coco’s co-parent instead. “What’s the point of even having a platonic soulmate if they don’t even trust you to raise a dog with them?” he had sighed dramatically. (Youngjae’s response was to leave Jaebeom with Coco for an extended period of time. Jaebeom ended up asking the other members for help, much to their amusement; only Jinyoung and Yugyeom agreed to actually helping him, mostly because Mark, Jackson, and Bambam were too busy laughing about it. “Do you see my reasoning now, hyung?” Youngjae laughed good-naturedly later, and Jaebeom couldn’t really say anything otherwise, so for the most part, he stopped complaining.)

All the members absolutely dote on Coco, and despite their initial qualms, the general consensus is that the little dog is a highly desirable addition to the family. The main drawback is that time spent together as a group becomes more scarce because Mark and Youngjae occupy themselves frequently with caring for Coco, and Jinyoung often accompanies them at Mark’s request. That, in addition to Jackson taking on more schedules and being away more often, leaves very little time for group bonding. None of them consider the consequences of this, because it’s never been an issue before. Jinyoung, usually so perceptive about his friends and their moods, doesn’t even notice the strain slowly developing between Mark and Jackson until one day, it escalates exponentially.

It happens during one of their rare moments with all seven of them together. Jinyoung is sitting next to Mark on the couch as usual, Coco on Mark’s lap, Jinyoung’s head on Mark’s shoulder as he reads. Bambam, Youngjae, and Yugyeom are sprawled across the floor, looking at something on Bambam’s phone together, and Jaebeom and Jackson are on the the other couch, both looking disgruntled and upset. Jackson’s eyes are narrowed, his fists clenched tightly.

The silence is suddenly broken when out of the blue, Jackson asks quite bitterly, “Enjoying your family time, Mark?”

Everyone turns to look at him, startled by his tone. “What are you talking about?” Mark replies, confused.

Jackson gestures vaguely at him. “You know, since you’re all comfy with your two favorites. It’s sweet, really. Almost as sweet as ignoring your soulmate who hasn’t had a chance to spend time with you for days in favor of your other soulmate who you already spend every hour of the day with.”

Jinyoung slowly lifts his head off Mark’s shoulder, suddenly feeling slightly guilty. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Mark asks defensively, an expression of bewilderment on his face.

“Nothing,” Jackson answers. “Just, sometimes I wonder if your soulmate signs got switched by accident. Maybe I’m not the one who’s your romantic soulmate after all.” Jaebeom’s face darkens as Jackson spits out the words.

Jinyoung feels his face heating up at that. Yes, he and Mark are very close, but Jinyoung has never, ever considered Mark in any way other than a platonic one, and he never will, either. He catches Jaebeom’s eye and can’t help but wonder why Jaebeom looks as stony-faced as Jackson.

“Excuse me?” Mark returns, and now he looks incredulous and rather offended. “As if you have any right to talk. You think fooling around the way you did with Bambam during the filming for ‘Just Right’ made me feel particularly good about us? You think it’s all fun and games for me when you go out to eat with him all the time and never with me?”

The maknaes have been watching with a kind of morbid fascination up to this point, because Mark and Jackson have never fought before, and certainly not like this. At the mention of his name, though, Bambam breaks out of his trance and hisses, “Don’t drag me into this!” Then, more quietly, to Yugyeom and Youngjae, he adds, “I’m sick of this already. Can they go back to being gross together now?”

Jackson lets out a laugh that’s too harsh, ignoring Bambam entirely. “Look at that, you’ve been spending so much time with him that you’re even using one of his complaints instead of having one of your own.” He doesn’t bother waiting for an answer from Mark, instead stalking off angrily and locking himself in his and Mark’s room, but not before they hear a distinct sniffle from his direction. Jinyoung sits frozen in his seat, unsure of how to react. Mark seems to be in shock as well, his arms limp at his sides and his eyes glassy and watery.

Yugyeom is the first to move, taking Mark’s arm and gently pulling him towards his and Bambam’s room. Youngjae and Bambam glance at each other, seemingly coming to a silent agreement before leaving the room and knocking insistently on Jackson’s door. The knocking eventually stops, which Jinyoung takes to mean that the two younger boys were let inside.

Silence follows their departure as Jaebeom and Jinyoung are left alone, Jaebeom’s face expressionless as he watches Jinyoung. “What just happened?” Jinyoung asks, a little desperately. Jaebeom just continues to look at him, and Jinyoung is beginning to sense a little anger and a lot of frustration emanating from him. Jinyoung is starting to feel seriously worried, because he has no idea why Jaebeom appears to be angry with him. In all the years they’ve known each other, Jinyoung has never been on the receiving end of Jaebeom’s genuine anger, and he has no idea what’s happened to change that. “Hyung,” he says slowly, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jaebeom replies shortly. “Just, Jackson’s got a point, doesn’t he? You do act like you’re the one in love with Mark.”

“I don’t mean to!” Jinyoung cries, feeling a little hysterical. “Mark-hyung is like the brother I never had. I look up to him and of course I love him, but I would never, ever even consider thinking about him as anything else!” For a moment, he thinks about bringing up Youngjae, how hypocritical it is of Jaebeom to be angry about this when he himself tells the world that he’s “Youngjae’s man” and sleeps in the same bed as the younger boy several nights a week and refers to them as “GOT7’s vocal couple.” But he stops himself because first of all, he could never do that to Youngjae, who obviously adores Jaebeom as an older brother and nothing else; secondly, because the whole thing is ridiculous anyway since neither he nor Jaebeom technically have any kind of obligation or commitment to each other at all; and finally, because he knows that there’s a time and place for being petty, and this isn’t one of them because someone has to be the bigger person. So he remains silent.

JJ Project-era Jaebeom probably would have punched a wall at this point, but now, Jaebeom just shrugs, trying to appear nonchalant. “That’s not how it looks. You don’t spend nearly as much time with anyone else.” The not even me goes unsaid, but Jinyoung knows Jaebeom too well to not hear it anyway. With that, he’s heard enough, because it’s one thing for Jaebeom to legitimately think he’s in love with Mark, but for him to actually believe that Jinyoung could somehow consider anyone more important to him than Jaebeom himself is even worse.

He stands abruptly. “Come with me,” he tells Jaebeom quietly. He leads Jaebeom to his room and makes the older boy wait on his bed as he takes a carefully wrapped parcel out of one of his drawers. “I got this for you a while ago,” he explains hesitantly. “I just didn’t know when or how to give it to you.”

Most of Jaebeom’s anger has melted away and transformed into grudging curiosity, and he opens the gift cautiously to find a Simpsons ring inside. He stares at it for a moment, before turning back to Jinyoung and giving him a look that clearly says What the hell?

Jinyoung opens his hand to reveal an identical ring. “They came as a pair,” he says. “I saw them and I - I just knew had to get them for you. For the two of us.” He swallows. “Do you understand now, Jaebeom-hyung?” He can’t even bring himself to be embarrassed at how desperate he sounds, because the question is about more than just the rings, and Jinyoung knows Jaebeom is aware of that.

“I understand, Jinyoungie,” Jaebeom says softly. He holds out the ring to Jinyoung, who carefully slides it onto Jaebeom’s finger before offering his own ring to Jaebeom so that he can return the favor. It’s almost painfully intimate, the two of them holding eye contact the whole time, until Jaebeom finally cracks and pulls Jinyoung into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles into Jinyoung’s neck. “I shouldn’t have gotten angry.”

“I don’t blame you,” Jinyoung murmurs back. “I would have been upset too in your place. I just hope Mark and Jackson will be okay.”

“They’ll figure it out,” Jaebeom says confidently. “They’re meant to be together, after all.”

(It takes four days and Bambam losing his patience, locking them in their room together, for Mark and Jackson to end their fight. When they finally emerge hours later, they both look significantly happier, hands entangled and matching content smiles on their faces.

Mark still spends large amounts of time with Jinyoung, and Jackson with Bambam, but there’s a clear increase in the time they spend with just each other too. Jinyoung asks Mark about it a few days later. “I guess the fight made us both realize that being soulmates isn’t a catch-all thing,” Mark explains. “We basically forgot that we have to actually make an effort to balance our relationship with each other in addition to our relationships with everyone else. But we’re both working on it, and we’re happy.”

“Good,” Jinyoung says. “You both deserve that.”

“And speaking of happy, you and Jaebeom certainly seem content,” Mark smirks. “What with your couple rings and all.”

“Shut up.” Jinyoung blushes furiously.

“When are you two going to stop this?” Mark asks softly, his smile dimming slightly. “You’re both so obviously gone for each other. Just let it happen, Jinyoungie.”

For the first time ever, Jinyoung doesn’t say anything in protest, because if he’s being honest with himself, he’s running out of reasons to disagree.)

~~~

Jinyoung’s birthday falls on the day that marks exactly one week until their comeback. Being that it’s such a busy time for them, Jinyoung isn’t really expecting an extravagant celebration or elaborate gifts. With the amount of stress they’ve been under recently, his ideal birthday gift would consist of everyone being able to spend even just a few hours relaxing, with no obligations or schedules to follow.

In hindsight, he thinks he probably should have guessed that the others would never pass up an opportunity to throw a party, however small it may be, especially since JYP had in fact given them a small break for the day. The first sign really should have been when Mark and Yugyeom practically dragged him from the dorm, but at the time, Jinyoung had been more preoccupied with protesting that he had been interrupted in the middle of reading while comfortably curled up on his bed, with Coco sleeping soundly across his legs.

Mark and Yugyeom abruptly decide they should return to the dorm three hours later (after Mark receives a text from Jackson confirming that “the coast is clear and all incriminating evidence is gone.” Mark doesn’t want to know). When they get back, Jinyoung steps through the front door to be greeted by the sight of six balloons floating in the living room, but before he can fully understand why the balloons are actually there, he’s attacked from all sides with hugs from six very excitable members.

“Happy birthday, hyung!” Youngjae says brightly, beaming at him as the group hug dissipates. “We’re sorry we couldn’t have a bigger party, but Jaebeom-hyung made sure we at least made a cake for you!”

“And we all got you gifts, of course,” Jackson adds, grinning widely.

“Hyung, are you crying?” Bambam asks, the hint of a smile creeping across his face.

“Shut up, of course not,” Jinyoung snaps, while trying to subtly brush the tears out of his eyes. He really hadn’t expected much of anything, would have completely understood if they hadn’t done anything for him, and he’s slightly overwhelmed by the rush of affection for his best friends that’s currently washing over him. “I - thank you all.”

“Anything for you,” Jaebeom says, and he looks so fond and sincere that Jinyoung almost feels like crying again. Their eye contact lasts just a little longer than normal, and it takes Mark clearing his throat pointedly to break the moment. Jinyoung looks away quickly, so he doesn’t see how Jaebeom is slightly flushed as he waves everyone towards the table. “Come on, let’s eat!”

The cake, surprisingly enough, both looks and tastes exceptionally good. Youngjae reveals that he had mostly supervised as Bambam, Jackson, and Jaebeom worked. “They made a huge mess, hyung,” Youngjae informs him cheerfully.

“You weren’t supposed to tell him,” Jackson groans. “That was the whole point of cleaning before he got back.”

“You should have waited,” Jinyoung tells him, stifling a laugh. “Watching you guys clean, that would have been the best present ever.”

He turns out to be wrong about that, because the gift he receives from Jaebeom tops anything he’s ever received before in his life. (That’s not to say that the presents he gets from the others are bad by any means: he receives several books he’s been wanting to read from Mark and Yugyeom, new clothes from Bambam, a set of hats from Youngjae, and new shoes from Jackson. He also finds a package of hair dye, which no one wants to admit to buying, but which everyone seems to find hilarious. Jinyoung doesn’t want to single anyone out, but he’s 97 percent sure it was Bambam and Jackson.)

Jaebeom’s gift, however, is something else entirely. At first, Jinyoung actually thinks Jaebeom didn’t get him anything, because as the other members excitedly clamor to have their gift opened first, Jaebeom doesn’t even hand anything to him. But later, Jaebeom pulls Jinyoung into his room and shuts the door, signaling to the others that they should be left alone.

They settle on Jaebeom’s bed and sit in silence for a moment. Jinyoung immediately notes that, as it always has been between them, the silence is comfortable rather than awkward. His attention is inexplicably drawn to the Simpsons ring on Jaebeom’s index finger, so out of place among the silver rings adorning his other fingers. The two of them don’t wear the rings out in public much anymore, but Jaebeom makes it a point to always wear his in the dorm, and Jinyoung’s heartbeat never fails to accelerate every time he sees it. “I didn’t really know what to get you,” Jaebeom admits, finally breaking the silence.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, hyung,” Jinyoung says automatically, but he really means it. He tears his eyes away from the ring to look at Jaebeom earnestly. “I know it had to have been your idea to even have a party in the first place. That’s already more than I expected.”

“But you deserve more than that,” Jaebeom tells him insistently. “Which is why I’m giving you this.” He reaches into his nightstand and pulls out a collection of papers covered in meticulously neat writing.

“Everyday,” it says at the top of the first page. They’re lyrics, Jinyoung realizes as he starts to read. Lyrics about...me? The song conveys gratitude and appreciation and love, and even though Jinyoung can’t imagine who else Jaebeom could be writing these things about, there’s a part of him that’s doubtful because of how meaningful and loving the words are. But he knows it has to be about him, because who else has always been by Jaebeom’s side through everything? Who else has always supported Jaebeom through rough times and celebrated alongside him for every single victory? He stares at Jaebeom, his eyes soft and disbelieving. “You wrote this - you wrote a song for me?”

“I’ve been wanting to for a while,” Jaebeom says, as if it’s the most casual thing in the world, as if Jinyoung isn’t on the verge of tears in front of him. He takes a deep breath. “I just - you’re really important to me, Jinyoungie. You know that, right?”

Jinyoung lets his tears fall as he smiles at Jaebeom. “Of course I know, Jaebeom-hyung.” Jaebeom grins back, and he looks so genuinely happy that Jinyoung feels like he might actually stop breathing just watching him. It strikes him that he’s never wished Jaebeom was his soulmate more than he’s currently wishing it in this moment.

“You know, I didn’t really mean for the kids to find out about it,” Jaebeom brings up suddenly. “I don’t know what I expected, honestly. I just wanted feedback from Mark and Jackson, but Bambam happened to be in the room too at the time, so of course he had to read it over also and he actually decided to write a rap for it, and then Youngjae heard about it and obviously I couldn’t say no to him, so I just let him and Yugyeom read it too.”

“What did they say?” Jinyoung asks curiously. He knows that Mark and Jackson probably interpreted it as a declaration of love (and if he’s being honest, a large part of him wants to do the same), but he’s interested in what everyone else’s opinions were.

“They thought it was sweet,” Jaebeom tells him, reddening slightly. “Mark said it was really meaningful and Jackson said that you’d probably cry.”

Jinyoung lets out a watery laugh. “Well, he wasn’t wrong.”

Jaebeom reaches out reflexively to wipe away a tear with his thumb as he continues. “Youngjae said it captured our relationship well and Yugyeom said you would definitely love it. And Bambam said he liked it, despite it being ‘pretty sappy.’” He raises his voice a little to mimic Bambam’s tone of voice, at which Jinyoung involuntarily lets out a giggle. “They were all insufferable about it, too, they wouldn’t stop teasing. They’ll never let me live it down.”

“The kids can laugh all they want, Jaebeom-hyung, I still love it,” Jinyoung reassures him. “They’re just jealous they don’t get a song too.” Jaebeom beams at him. “So are we gonna record it? For an album?”

Jaebeom nods. “I already discussed it with the managers. They said we could include it in the next album, but -” He breaks off, ducking his head bashfully. “Well, they kind of realized who the song was supposed to be about, so they said that we’ll have to dedicate it to the fans.”

It’s only logical, and Jinyoung isn’t surprised by the condition, but a small part of him is a little jealous; after all, the song is for him, about him. It’s his. (The other part of him is secretly pleased because it can be their little secret. Everyone can believe whatever they want, but Jinyoung and Jaebeom will know who the song is really about.)

~~~

The other members aren’t stupid. They can clearly sense that there’s something in the air, charged and tense, between Jaebeom and Jinyoung, that there has been since the mission game at Kiss the Radio three days ago.

Jaebeom has been avoiding Jinyoung like the plague ever since, and Jinyoung knows it’s mostly his own fault. Rationally, he understands that it wasn’t the best idea in the world to throw himself at Jaebeom not once, not twice, but three times, their mouths dangerously close, his hands gripping the back of Jaebeom’s neck insistently, almost desperately. But the illogical part of his brain had been in control at the time, had been screaming at him to take advantage of the situation. When else are you ever going to have the chance to be in that position with him?

(“You were so into it,” Jackson informs him gleefully. “I had to practically drag you away the last time.”

“I’m really glad you’ve told me that seven times in the last three days,” Jinyoung sighs. He’s mostly given up on trying to stop the other members from bringing it up, because apparently, as Bambam explains to him, the kids are equally delighted as they are grossed out by public displays of affection from their “parents.”

“You’re becoming more reckless, which means you might actually get together in this century,” Jackson says. “Maybe even this decade!”

It’s a major improvement from “some time in this millennium,” which is what it was before, according to Yugyeom. Jinyoung doesn’t know why he puts up with them, honestly.)

It’s even more obvious because prior to that day, Jinyoung and Jaebeom had been on a streak of displaying relatively intimate and mostly unnecessary skinship for weeks. Jinyoung had been much less inhibited, essentially flirting with Jaebeom in public and clinging to him on camera and openly declaring that he would never want to do another unit without him and even calling him jagiya live on air. (Mark asks if all these public displays mean that he’s given up on finding his soulmate, but Jinyoung denies it. He hasn’t given up on that dream at all; he’s just decided that maybe this dream is one worth chasing too. And maybe there’s a sliver of hope that the two things he wants most aren’t mutually exclusive.)

It’s a little frustrating, Jinyoung thinks as Jaebeom pointedly avoids eye contact with him as he picks up the coffee Jinyoung made for him, because it’s not like this is the first time they’ve done something of this nature. It’s not even the second or third time either, because they’ve had to play these mouth-to-mouth-with-small-objects-in-between games for years now. So why Jaebeom has decided to act like this now is beyond Jinyoung.

The other members find it mildly amusing at first, pretty annoying by a few hours later, and finally, just really ridiculous. “You’re like a badly-made drama,” Jackson points out, and Jinyoung isn’t sure whether he should be more offended that they’ve been reduced to a source of entertainment for the others, or that it’s not even a high-quality source of entertainment.

Bambam finally ends up pulling off an elaborate stunt that somehow ends with Jinyoung and Jaebeom locked in Mark and Jackson’s room together. Resigned to their fate, Jinyoung stands next to Mark’s bed and looks at Jaebeom expectantly, hands on his hips. He’s not the one who’s been behaving weirdly, after all, so it should be Jaebeom to start talking.

“You’re driving me crazy, Jinyoung,” Jaebeom blurts out suddenly. “I have no idea what to think anymore, because one second you’re talking about how wonderful soulmates are, and the next you’re practically trying to kiss me, but then you don’t care if you don’t talk to me for days -”

“Who says I don’t care?” Jinyoung interrupts. He doesn’t bother denying anything else - after all, there's really no point in trying to pretend it's not the truth. “Hyung, you literally just made that up, of course I care -”

Jaebeom huffs impatiently. “How am I supposed to know that when you haven’t made any attempt to talk to me in three days -”

Jinyoung looks at him incredulously. “What do you mean I haven’t made any attempt to talk to you, you’ve literally refused to even make eye contact with me -”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk to me -”

“Jaebeom-hyung, I thought you didn’t want to talk to me -”

“Jinyoungie, when have I ever not wanted to talk to you -”

“I can think of at least three times right n-”

Jinyoung hadn’t even noticed them getting closer to each other as they argued back and forth, but suddenly Jaebeom is right in front of him and his hands are on Jinyoung’s cheeks and Jinyoung’s sentence is cut off by Jaebeom abruptly and forcefully pressing his lips to Jinyoung’s.

It barely lasts for more than a few seconds, but both of them are panting when they break apart. They stare at each other, eyes wide, gazes unwavering, Jinyoung’s face still cupped in Jaebeom’s hands. “I - um,” Jaebeom says a moment later, pulling his hands away. “That was -”

“Yes,” Jinyoung says. “It was.”

They stand in silence for another long stretch before Jaebeom finally speaks again, dropping onto Jackson’s bed heavily. “Okay, this is dumb. Can we just agree to drop this whole argument?”

“That’s a good idea,” Jinyoung agrees immediately. He doesn’t ask if that includes forgetting about the kiss too. “Truce?” Jaebeom nods, and that’s the end of it.

Bambam lets them out ten minutes later after Jaebeom threatens to revoke his going-out-to-eat-with-Jackson privileges if he doesn’t listen to him right now. They leave the room claiming outwardly that they’ve gone back to normal, even though in reality, they’re even more confused than before.

~~~

Neither of them bring it up for the next month, which would be fine except for how Jinyoung can’t make himself stop thinking about it. They treat each other exactly the same as before, which is both a relief and utterly frustrating, because it means that at least their relationship is functional, but it also isn’t what either of them really want.

Jinyoung is given a distraction in the form of an acting role. The other members are delighted for him and shower him in well wishes and reminders to not overwork himself.

(“Don’t be a hypocrite, Jackson,” Jinyoung warns. “If there’s anyone who’s overworking themselves around here, it’s you.”

“Okay mom,” Jackson says dismissively.

“He’s right,” Jaebeom points out. “You have way too much to do in way too little time.”

“Not dad too,” Jackson groans. “I’m fine.” No one looks convinced. The fact that Jackson is currently sprawled across the couch looking exhausted does nothing to help his case.

“Shut up, Jackson,” Mark says. “They’re worried about you. So am I. And anyway, we all know they’re right.”

“Just me against the world,” Jackson grumbles to himself. Mark just rolls his eyes and pulls Jackson’s head onto his lap so he can rest more comfortably.)

The first night he’s away, Jinyoung is so nervous and excited that he forgets to think about anything else. It starts out as a slight discomfort, nagging but not urgent. Jinyoung is focused on his role and his acting, and it’s easy at first to brush off the strange feeling he has in his chest as nerves. But the second night, Jinyoung is lying in bed when it abruptly sharpens and suddenly, he’s flooded with pain, excruciating pain like he’s never felt before, piercing through his heart.

He’s known for his whole life that this is what happens when you don’t know who your soulmate is and you part from them for more than 12 hours, but he’s never truly thought about the actual pain aspect of the process. The sensation overwhelms his senses, even though it’s only confined to one part of his body, consuming him. He wills himself not to cry, desperately wishing any or all of the other members were with him. Mark and Jackson would know what to do because they’ve felt this before, and the maknaes would provide the needed moral support, and Jaebeom -

Jaebeom. Suddenly, the older boy is the only person, the only thought, in Jinyoung’s mind. The only thing he cares about right now is whether Jaebeom is experiencing this pain too. He feels a little guilty about it, because what if, after all this, his soulmate turns out to be someone else? Jinyoung remembers Jaebeom’s words from years ago: What if you fall in love with someone who isn’t your soulmate? Here, now, as he lies there with pain festering in his heart, he finally understands what Jaebeom meant.

Because the fact is, Jinyoung loves Jaebeom. He knows this, has known it for years, and he’s loved him long enough, intensely enough, that he’s reasonably sure it’s never going to fully go away. So here he is, someone who has never wished harm on a single creature in his life, praying that Jaebeom is experiencing the same pain he is.

Eventually, he works up the strength to make a phone call to the member who appears first in his contacts list (aaaaaJackson). Unsurprisingly, because Jackson has probably been sent to bed already, Mark is the one who picks up. “Jinyoungie?”

“Jaebeom-hyung,” is Jinyoung’s reply. “Where is he?”

“What?” Mark asks, confused. “He’s sleeping, I think. Why?”

Jinyoung’s heart plummets. The pain seems to increase tenfold. “I - no reason.”

“Jinyoung, are you okay?” Mark asks, concern evident in his voice.

“I’m fine,” Jinyoung says, barely above a whisper, trying to hide the fact that he’s on the verge of tears.

“Mark-hyung? I think there’s something wrong,” comes Youngjae’s voice in the background. “Jaebeom-hyung looks really pale.” Jinyoung’s heart nearly stops at the news.

“I’m coming,” Mark tells him immediately. “Jinyoungie, hold on, apparently he’s not asleep after all.” Jinyoung can hear Mark walking to Jaebeom and Youngjae’s room, can hear Mark’s quiet gasp of concern as he reaches Jaebeom’s side. “Jaebeom, what’s wrong?”

Jaebeom groans slightly, and even through the phone, Jinyoung can tell he’s in pain. “Jinyoung,” Jaebeom says as calmly as possible. “Where is he?”

Jinyoung hears Mark fumble with the phone for a second. “He’s right here, but - Jaebeom, what’s going on?”

“Jinyoungie,” Jaebeom breathes, ignoring Mark entirely. “Please tell me - please, are you -”

“Yes,” Jinyoung interrupts, almost laughing from relief. The pain already seems to have lessened, and Jinyoung knows beyond any doubt what it means. “God, yes, Jaebeom-hyung.” He can hear Mark and Youngjae talking to each other, bewildered, but all Jinyoung cares about right now is that Jaebeom is his soulmate. After all the time he spent denying himself the one person he wanted the most, it turns out that person was his to have all along.

“Come home,” Jaebeom begs softly. “Even if it can only be a few hours - we have to talk.”

“I’ll leave first thing tomorrow,” Jinyoung promises. He can still feel the sharp twinge of pain in his chest, but it’s considerably weaker. “I’m really glad it’s you,” he whispers into the phone.

Jaebeom lets out a watery laugh. “Me too.” Jinyoung can hear the smile in his voice.

Everyone is surprisingly understanding about the situation when Jinyoung hurriedly explains why he’s returning to Seoul for a few hours. Finding a soulmate is no small feat, so as long as he’s back by the end of the day, they have no problem with his departure, and he thanks them profusely before leaving. The journey to the dorm feels like the longest of Jinyoung’s life; he’s counting down the seconds. He doesn’t hesitate for even a moment as he steps up to the door. But before he can pull out his key, the door flies open forcefully, and suddenly, Jinyoung’s heart stops hurting entirely.

Jaebeom has always been extremely attractive. Jinyoung is highly aware of this: it was one of the first things he noticed about Jaebeom when they met all those years ago. But Jinyoung can’t recall a single time prior to this moment that Jaebeom has looked so stunning. The smile that spreads across his face as he meets Jinyoung’s eyes is the most radiant Jinyoung has ever seen, lighting up his entire face so that he’s almost glowing. Jinyoung is so enamored, he feels a little dizzy. He’s my soulmate.

“Hi,” Jinyoung says breathlessly. For a moment, it almost feels anticlimactic, but then again, their relationship has never really relied on words. Jaebeom gazes at him for a moment longer before pulling him inside and slamming the door shut, pinning Jinyoung up against it, and finally, finally, pressing his lips to Jinyoung’s desperately. Jinyoung melts into the kiss immediately, his hands flying up to tangle in Jaebeom’s hair and pull him closer as Jaebeom winds his arms around Jinyoung’s waist.

The kiss starts out heated and passionate, the result of years of pent-up attraction and desire, but they both calm down after a while, and it becomes sweet and sincere, full of the overwhelming, indescribable love they feel for each other. Jinyoung would have been content to just stay there for the rest of the day, because this is what he’s wanted for almost as long as he’s known Jaebeom. But of course, they live in a dorm with five other members, and in hindsight, it probably wasn’t the best idea to start making out against the front door, in plain sight of everyone.

“Ewwwww!” Bambam cries at the same time Yugyeom gleefully yells, “JJ cross!”, effectively shattering the moment. They jump apart, startled, and then Jaebeom reluctantly turns to face the younger boys, still keeping one arm wrapped around Jinyoung’s waist. Bambam had apparently been in the process of going to the couch, but now he’s frozen in place, staring at Jinyoung and Jaebeom in wide-eyed amazement. Yugyeom is right behind him, looking both confused and delighted, and Jinyoung can see Youngjae in the back, covering his face with his hands but blatantly peeking through his fingers.

“What is he yelling about now?” Jackson complains to Mark as the two of them emerge from their room to see what the commotion is. He stops short when he catches sight of Jaebeom and Jinyoung, taking in their ruffled appearances and swollen lips. “Okay, what the h-”

“Oh my god,” Mark interrupts in English, his jaw dropping. “You two. Last night. The phone call. Jaebeom, you were - oh my god.” He grips Jackson’s arm tightly. “Jackson, they finally realized they’re soulmates!”

“Wow, it only took them six years,” Jackson points out cheerfully.

“It’s cute how they dated, got married, and had five kids before they figured it out,” Bambam adds. “You’d think they would’ve noticed earlier.”

“This is so exciting!” Yugyeom puts in. “Can we call you mom and dad now?”

“Don’t you do that anyway?” Jinyoung retorts, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. The maknaes all make pleading eyes at him and he sighs. “Yes, you can call us mom and dad.” They all look unnecessarily excited about it.

“We’re all happy for you, really. Just don’t be gross in front of us,” Jackson warns them, smirking. “There are innocent eyes watching.”

“Like you can talk,” Jaebeom says. “I doubt there are any innocent eyes left around here with the antics that you and Mark get up to.”

“Does this mean I can have the room to myself now, hyung?” Youngjae asks Jaebeom cheekily.

Jaebeom gives Youngjae a pointed look. “Absolutely not.”

~~~

Eventually, the others let Jaebeom and Jinyoung lock themselves in Jinyoung’s room for a while, recognizing that Jinyoung is under a time constraint. Jaebeom hasn’t let go of Jinyoung once since he arrived, always keeping a hold on his waist or the back of his neck or his hand, as if he’s afraid that Jinyoung will disappear if he lets go. Jinyoung doesn’t fault him for that; he feels the same way.

They lie together on Jinyoung’s bed, limbs tangled together, Jinyoung’s head resting comfortably on Jaebeom’s chest. They don’t speak at first, simply finding a quiet enjoyment in each other’s presence as Jaebeom traces patterns with his fingers across Jinyoung’s arms. Jinyoung can’t remember the last time he’s felt so relaxed, so tranquil, so at peace and content.

“Remember that night I asked you about soulmates?” Jinyoung asks a while later, absentmindedly playing with the hem of Jaebeom’s shirt. “When we were still JJ Project?”

“Yeah, I do,” Jaebeom says, sounding slightly confused. “Why?”

“That was the first time I wished you were my soulmate,” Jinyoung murmurs. “You asked what would happen if you fell in love with someone who wasn’t your soulmate, and all I could think about was you falling in love with me and us turning out to be soulmates anyway. And I never really stopped.”

“Jinyoungie,” Jaebeom breathes into Jinyoung’s hair. “I already loved you, even then.”

Jinyoung tilts his head to gaze at Jaebeom in awe. “And you still love me? After all this time?”

Jaebeom meets Jinyoung’s eyes, his own shining with emotion. “You told me Mark was your soulmate without saying which kind, and I was heartbroken but I still loved you. You didn’t room with me because you knew Youngjae needed it more, and I loved you for being so selfless. Mark and Jackson found each other, and I loved you so much that I wished it was us instead. We spent every day of our first break together, and I only loved you more every time you helped me with my headaches and every time I woke up next to you and every time we talked to Youngjae together on Skype.”

Jinyoung can’t speak, can’t think, can’t breathe, because he never knew, never suspected, that this whole time, Jaebeom was feeling the same things he was. Jaebeom continues, his voice wavering slightly. “I watched you playing with those little girls, and I loved you too much to bear. I watched you spend more and more time with Mark, and my heart broke again but I still loved you. I wrote you a song because I loved you so much I couldn’t express myself any other way. You nearly full-on kissed me in public, and I loved you but I didn’t think you could feel the same so I ran away. Then I actually did kiss you, and I was so scared of how you’d react that I brushed it off even though I just wanted to finally tell you how I felt. And now, you’re in my arms and you’re my soulmate and I love you so much, Jinyoungie.”

There are tears falling from Jinyoung’s eyes as he leans up to kiss Jaebeom thoroughly. “Why didn’t you ever tell me, hyung?”

“I never wanted you to have to choose,” Jaebeom says quietly. “You were always in love with your soulmate, right from the start.”

“But I was always in love with you too,” Jinyoung murmurs. “I knew after I accepted what I was feeling that I would never be able to love anyone else the way I love you. Not even a soulmate.”

“Good thing your soulmate turned out to be me, then,” Jaebeom teases lightly. He presses a fleeting kiss to the tip of Jinyoung’s nose, laughing when Jinyoung scrunches up his face at the feeling. As he leans in for a real kiss, Jaebeom’s face is alight with happiness, his smile stunningly beautiful, and Jinyoung can’t think of a single place he’d rather be than right here where he’s always been, at Jaebeom’s side.