Work Text:
[Mizi’s Minions, 9:55 AM]
mizizii_: 9 am anatomy lecture and lab yaaaay i love thursdays!!!!
mizizii_: get me out of here guys
black_sorrow: I’ll pull the fire alarm for you
mizizii_: thank you ivan (╥﹏╥)
mizi’s chair: i’ll start a fire so ivan doesn’t get expelled for pulling the alarm
hyuna: i’ll hold a gun to sua’s head so she doesn't get expelled for starting a fire
tillplaysguitar: who’s going to stop you from getting expelled for holding someone at gunpoint…?
hyuna: well it was supposed to be you
hyuna: but i guess we’re not chill like that
tillplaysguitar: i just can’t think of something worse than that
black_sorrow: I’ll hold Hyuna’s brother hostage so it looks like she was forced to threaten Sua
mizizii_: and i’ll break all of you out of jail ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊
hyuna: hold on
hyuna: leave hyunwoo out of this
black_sorrow: I have his consent
tillplaysguitar: to hold him at gunpoint?
black_sorrow: HI NOONA
black_sorrow: hi noona’s friends
black_sorrow: luka’s been rambling so long in this meeting i started looking over ivan’s shoulder hahaha
black_sorrow: you guys are funny
mizizii_: HI HYUNA’S BROTHER
hyuna: omg im so tired this morning i was like why is ivan calling me noona…
black_sorrow: LOL
tillplaysguitar: should you guys be texting in an SGA meeting?
black_sorrow: lol no
black_sorrow: it just ended tho
black_sorrow: but i think luka noticed
black_sorrow: whoops gtg
mizizii_: o
black_sorrow: hljioank
black_sorrow: lasjfoiawesujoifjl
hyuna: oh no
mizi’s chair: is this ivan or hyunwoo or the supervillain
black_sorrow: This is Ivan
black_sorrow: But don’t be mad at me guys
black_sorrow: He says this is my punishment for texting during the meeting
tillplaysguitar: DON’T DO IT
[black_sorrow added Luka.]
Luka: why are you LOSERS texting at 10 IN THE MORNING and distracting my UNPAID EMPLOYEES
tillplaysguitar: that is so not our problem
mizi’s chair: yeah why are you so BORING that they can’t focus
mizi’s chair: YOU’RE A LOSER!!
hyuna: LMAO
black_sorrow: To be fair
black_sorrow: I never listen
Luka: still here btw
black_sorrow: Yeah
black_sorrow: That’s why I left the room to escape punishment
mizi’s chair: ivan just believes in transparency
tillplaysguitar: kick luka before u forget sua
mizi’s chair: oh true
Luka: no wait please
Luka: you need me
mizizii_: do we..
Luka: yes
Luka: i’m the main character
Luka: without my presence your storylines can’t progress
tillplaysguitar: how are you the main character this is literally our group chat
Luka: well every show needs a homosexual supporting cast
Luka: mizi and sua, the calm calculating intelligent side character and her obnoxious pink-haired girlfriend
Luka: ivan and till, the gay couple who exists only for fanservice purposes
Luka: and finally, hyuna and i, the heterosexual (normal) couple with an extremely healthy relationship this show is centered around
black_sorrow: Mizi is always catching strays
mizizii_: what do you have against my hair
tillplaysguitar: wth is fanservice
tillplaysguitar: and these pairings are weird
mizi’s chair: i think till also wants to be heterosexual (normal)
black_sorrow: Till can you just stick to the script
tillplaysguitar: …
hyuna: alright
hyuna: first of all
hyuna: let’s get a few things straight
Luka: uh oh
hyuna: I’M the main character
hyuna: and in MY story revolving around ME
hyuna: there are no pairings because we all shine as individual people and our storylines may include but are not dependent on our relationships with other people
hyuna: and also luka you are not even in it
mizizii_: WOOO
tillplaysguitar: much better
mizi’s chair: hyuna saving us yet again from the clutches of her evil ex boyfriend…
black_sorrow: I liked Luka’s better
Luka: hyuna that’s boring no one would watch that
Luka: now get in character and say “Luka, my beloved; you are so very talented. I would be delighted to be your love interest. Now, let us kiss.”
tillplaysguitar: sometimes you scare me
mizizii_: that doesn’t sound like hyuna at all…
Luka: no no mizi wouldn’t say that
Luka: something more along the lines of “Hello my friends! My name is Mizi and I have a revolting, overly-vibrant shade of pink as my hair color for no reason in particular.”
mizizii_: WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY HAIR
mizi’s chair: mizi your hair is beautiful don’t listen to that thing
black_sorrow: What would Ivan say
tillplaysguitar: ivan for the love of god can you PLEASE stop enabling him
Luka: since you asked
Luka: till would say something like “I really enjoy my role in providing fanservice to all the fans out there. I only exist to appeal to a specific group of people to garner in a larger audience, but my actual character does not matter; I pale in comparison to Luka."
tillplaysguitar: THAT IS NOT WHAT HE ASKED
tillplaysguitar: AND I WOULD NOT SAY THAT
mizizii_: (O_O;)
mizizii_: luka, i understand you’re in your creative zone right now, but maybe you should put the pen down?
Luka: “Finally,” I whisper, my chest swelling with satisfaction as I finally strike down with my sword Mizi after 15 seasons of battling. I watch in satisfaction as she bleeds out on the ground.
mizizii_: oh okay wow
mizi’s chair: luka my patience is wearing very thin
Luka: yes that’s good
Luka: you are the better half of the evil witch mizi, her loyal girlfriend who was able to keep her alive for all 15 seasons; however, your efforts were fruitless since she had to face against the greatest of all time (me)
black_sorrow: I still haven’t gotten a shoutout
black_sorrow: This story fucking sucks
tillplaysguitar: now that you’ve lost your only supporter it’s time to stop
Luka: ah ah ah… i was saving the best for last
Luka: ivan would say “I really enjoy my role in providing fanservice to all the fans of out there. I only exist to appeal to a specific group of people to garner in a larger audience, but my actual character does not matter; I pale in comparison to Luka.”
mizi’s chair: you just copy pasted till’s dialogue
Luka: yes but now ivan is saying it
tillplaysguitar: why are we saying the exact same thing verbatim
Luka: because you don’t have personalities you’re just supposed to be gay
black_sorrow: This story fucking sucks
mizi’s chair: can we get a plot twist
hyuna: i’ve got it
hyuna: after he kills mizi, sua kills him out of revenge
hyuna: and we all live happily ever after
mizi’s chair: BUT MIZI IS DEAD
tillplaysguitar: can we let this die please
Luka: just like you let mizi die in season 15
Luka: pathetic fanservice vermin
tillplaysguitar: bro
Luka: and after mizi is dead hyuna and i will have our wedding on top of her grave. everyone will cheer as we all talk about how glad we are that she’s dead
hyuna: luka
Luka: y
Luka. yes?
mizi’s chair: i can feel him quivering through the screen
hyuna: i think that’s enough
hyuna: don’t you?
Luka: of course. my apologies.
black_sorrow: Did they just divorce
mizi’s chair: i know
mizi’s chair: and they only just got married on top of mizi’s grave
mizizii_: they got divorced on top of my grave too
mizizii_: i had the last laugh >ᴗ<
Luka: witch
tillplaysguitar: you are way too comfortable insulting mizi
Luka: tsk tsk
Luka: your line was: “This is wrong, but it feels so right,” Till gasps, grasping Ivan’s face as he leans in. Their mouths collide in a moment of passion, warring for dominance in this moment of unbridled bliss.”
tillplaysguitar: WHAT THE FUCK
hyuna: my eyes
mizizii_: UMMMM
tillplaysguitar: i can’t take this anymore
black_sorrow: Stick to the script Till
tillplaysguitar: DUDE
mizi’s chair: but mizi and i haven’t gotten any makeout scenes
mizi’s chair: so you hate women
mizizii_: i think he just hates me
mizizii_: i’m dead, remember?
mizi’s chair: i’m okay with that
mizizii_: (｡o_o｡)
Luka: i’m not writing anything involving mizi unless she dies in the same sentence
Luka: but do you guys want to see me and hyuna’s honeymoon scene?
tillplaysguitar: NO
tillplaysguitar: PLEASE NO
mizizii_: i really don’t..
mizi’s chair: should i kick him preemptively
hyuna: luka
Luka: i’m sorry daddy
hyuna: ok
hyuna: that was the last warning
hyuna: so act accordingly
Luka: So
Luka: How’s the weather?
black_sorrow: Pretty good
tillplaysguitar: i hope you die
mizizii_: guys let’s go back to being normal now.. ( ' ^ ' )
hyuna: mizi says stop being gay pack it up
mizizii_: I DIDN’T SAY THAT
mizizii_: you can be gay and also normal (ó﹏ò｡)
Luka: gay people should die.
mizi’s char: fly high ivan
black_sorrow: Fly low Sua
mizi’s chair: bitfch
tillplaysguitar: interesting sentiment from a dude who just wrote a paragraph describing two other dudes kissing
mizi’s chair: amazing point you make till
Luka: i can be homophobic and also write about boys kissing
Luka: like damn y’all are so close minded
tillplaysguitar: do you hear the things you say
Luka: no because i’m typing it
Luka: idiot
hyuna: he got you there
black_sorrow: If you’re typing it out then these are things you must have thought out in your head, meaning you would hear your internal voice say these things regardless
tillplaysguitar: thank you.
hyuna: he got you there
Luka: actually i don’t think before i hit send
mizi’s chair: we can tell
Luka: fuck you
mizizii_: stfu
mizizii_: don’t say that to her
hyuna: mizi defending others more than she defends herself…
mizizii_: i don’t mess around about sua!! (•̀⤙•́)
Luka: you should start messing around with hair dye
mizizii_: STOP TALKING ABOUT MY HAIR
hyuna: mizi you have to insult him back or he’ll never stop
hyuna: get him
mizizii_: guys be so for real you know i can’t think of insults
mizizii_: all i have up my sleeve is ‘kys’ and that’s saved for special occasions
mizizii_: i’m a pacifist
black_sorrow: Everyone starts somewhere
tillplaysguitar: mizi tear into him
mizizii_: okay
mizizii_: um
mizizii_: okay hold on
Luka: take your time
mizizii_: luka more like
mizizii_: white blood cell
mizizii_: get it because luka sounds like leuko
mizizii_: cyte
mizizii_: leukocyte
mizizii_: like the white blood cell
mizizii_: wait i said that already
mizizii_: guys just kill me i hate anatomy ive been in this room for 3 hours
Luka: girl
tillplaysguitar: mizi 😭
black_sorrow: Mizi you really tried and that’s honestly all that matters
mizizii_: just tell me i suck ivan.
black_sorrow: Maybe a little
mizi’s chair: i think it was great
Luka: you are soo comfortable lying
mizizii_: if i was the main character then my knight would come save me from this anatomy class
tillplaysguitar: mizi i’ll save you :[
black_sorrow: She said IF she was the main character
black_sorrow: Stick to your script Till
tillplaysguitar: … you’re really accepting a reality where luka is the main character?
black_sorrow: I like his writing
hyuna: that makes one of us!
mizi’s chair: luka should put the pen down and mizi should pick it up
mizizii_: okie
mizizii_: in my show my knight comes in and blows up my anatomy class
mizizii_: and then we go on a fun adventure to save the world
mizizii_: hyuna is my cool mentor, and ivan is my reliable best friend ⸜(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) ⸝♡
mizi’s chair: and i’m the knight
tillplaysguitar: she hasn’t said that yet
mizi’s chair: ohhh i’ll hurt you if you contest me on this
tillplaysguitar: i just feel like i’m more suited for the knight role
mizizii_: um
mizizii_: maybe i can have 2 knights? and we save the world together as a group of five!
mizi’s chair: sigh
black_sorrow: Who are we saving the world from
Luka: me
mizizii_: oh actually i didn’t even think of you
mizizii_: but sure!
Luka: …
hyuna: i know he’s mad rn
tillplaysguitar: 5v1?
Luka: and i would win
black_sorrow: Really
mizizii_: actually using the power of friendship we would defeat luka and then convince him to turn to good
mizizii_: and then we’d all be friends!
Luka: that sounds terrible
mizizii_: actually, luka would say something more like: “you’re right mizi, i’ve been so bitter and miserable because this entire time i was actually jealous of your pink hair. i’ve wanted pink hair my entire life but have been afraid of judgement. i am ready to be your friend now."
Luka: i
black_sorrow: Wow
black_sorrow: I really think he would say that actually
hyuna: that’s the kind of luka i would be a love interest for
Luka: fr?
mizi’s chair: uh oh
Luka: you’re right mizi, i’ve been so bitter and miserable because this entire time i was actually jealous of your pink hair. i’ve wanted pink hair my entire life but have been afraid of judgement. i am ready to be your friend now.
mizizii_: :0
black_sorrow: How are you going to change your entire personality for another person
mizi’s chair: no no no
mizi’s chair: it was MIZI’S influence
mizi’s chair: her dialogue really spoke to him
hyuna: so true
hyuna: she fixed him
Luka: now write me and hyuna’s makeout scene
mizi’s chair: you didn’t write me and mizi’s makeout scene.
Luka: kissing a corpse is socially frowned upon btw
mizi’s chair: YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO KILL HER OFF
mizizii_ [replying to Luka]: i am not writing that
Luka: then put down the pen you useless insect
mizizii_: insect…
black_sorrow: Can I pick the pen up
tillplaysguitar: i don’t like the sound of that
mizizii_: okay!!
mizi’s chair: this will be something for sure
black_sorrow: Okay so in this universe I’m the dictator of the entire world and everyone bends to my will
mizi’s chair: off to a great start
hyuna: alright time to put the pen down again
black_sorrow: I didn’t even get to the good part though
black_sorrow: I have a continuation of the makeout scene Luka wrote about me and Till
tillplaysguitar: STOP IT
Luka: you can’t steal my gay makeout scene wtf
Luka: that exists in MY universe
tillplaysguitar: it doesn’t exist in any universe.
mizizii_: maybe sua should pick the pen up
mizi’s chair: okay so in this universe i’m the dictator of the entire world and everyone bends to my will
black_sorrow: Bruh
mizizii_: what’s the plot of this universe ( ╹ -╹)?
mizi’s chair: so basically in this timeline all men have been sentenced to death (by me)
mizi’s chair: ivan and till are part of the little that remains of the rebellion
mizi’s chair: luka kinda pulls like a reverse mulan where he cross dresses as a woman but he does it so good that he’s able to integrate into society
Luka: HELLO
mizi’s chair: me mizi and hyuna are living our best lives lmaoooo
mizi’s chair: ivan and till die at some point idk
black_sorrow: She stole my plot and killed me off
tillplaysguitar: why can’t we also cross dress as women to survive?
mizi’s chair: because you wouldn’t pull it off
black_sorrow: I disagree
Luka: Evidence?
tillplaysguitar: get me out get me out get me out
hyuna: you know till
hyuna: there’s only one person left to pick up the pen…
tillplaysguitar: dude i’m not participating in this weird fanfiction writing challenge
hyuna: only luka did that btw don’t lump us in with him
mizizii_: come on till make a universe where ur the main character! break free of the shackles of letting other ppl write makeout scenes abt u!!
Luka: yeah why don’t you be a fucking man and write your own makeout scene about yourself
tillplaysguitar: how about i write a makeout scene with you and a knife
Luka: ok
Luka: let’s see it
tillplaysguitar: no
black_sorrow: Hold on
hyuna: ivan stop typing i’m scared.
tillplaysguitar: SECONDED
black_sorrow: Luka lifts the knife to his mouth, feeling as the metal grazes the delicate skin of his lips. He knows that no one will ever write about him making out with Hyuna, so he must settle for the next best thing. The cold steel presses further into his lips, drawing blood—a painful, cruel display of affection.
Luka: Thanks!
mizizii_: IVAN
mizizii_: that’s really good what the heck (˵ •̀ ᴗ •́ ˵ ) ✧
hyuna: ivan i’m starting to suspect this is a hobby of yours
black_sorrow: Well
black_sorrow: I read a lot
black_sorrow: And sometimes I write songs
tillplaysguitar: about kissing knives?
mizi’s chair: are you fucking kidding me
mizi’s chair: we got luka and a knife makeout scene before me and mizi
Luka: do you really want to kiss her cold lifeless body that fucking bad
mizi’s chair: okay knife kisser
Luka: mizi also kissed a knife
Luka: with her throat
black_sorrow: Actually that’s not lore accurate
black_sorrow: You said you struck her down with a sword
hyuna: fraud.
Luka: How could I have made this mistake…?
mizi’s chair: as punishment i’m kicking you again
mizi’s chair: everyone say bye bye luka!
black_sorrow: Bye bye
Luka: NO
Luka: what happened to democracy?
mizi’s chair: should we start a poll
Luka: Yes
tillplaysguitar: NO. MORE. POLLS.
mizizii_: i feel like he’ll just keep coming back even if we kick him
mizizii_: maybe we should just let him stay?
mizi’s chair: is this our new reality
black_sorrow: Come on
black_sorrow: He’s kind of funny
hyuna: are we hiring him as a permanent court jester?
tillplaysguitar: NO
tillplaysguitar: i don’t want to read any more fanfiction about me.
black_sorrow: You still haven’t seen mine
black_sorrow: Idk if I should send it here though it’s not sfw
tillplaysguitar: WHAT
Luka: yeah but i’m the freak here… right
mizizii_: we accept ivan for who he is •ᴗ•
tillplaysguitar: I DON’T
black_sorrow: Mizi are you out of class yet
black_sorrow: Sua and I are in the common room
tillplaysguitar: so now we’re just moving on from that
mizi’s chair: why are u so hung up on it till
mizi’s chair: u wanna read it that bad?
mizizii_: I’M OUT OF CLASSSS
mizizii_: I’M OMW
black_sorrow: Till
black_sorrow: Get over here
tillplaysguitar: …
tillplaysguitar: okay im coming
tillplaysguitar: bye hyuna
mizizii_: BYE HYUNAAA (˶ˆᗜˆ˵)
hyuna: byeeee
Luka: so
Luka: now that it’s just us
hyuna: woah look at the time haha i gotta go
hyuna: hyunwoo wants to talk
Luka: hyunwoo is right next to me.
hyuna: awkward.
Luka: you have 5 minutes to find me before i subject your precious brother to our honeymoon scene.
hyuna: bruh
hyuna: give me 10 minutes
Luka: everything always works out for the main character
tillplaysguitar: fucking weirdo