Chapter Text
One hundred and thirteen days.
“Jisungie!”
Jisung looks up from the sterile padded plastic chairs in the waiting room of the hospital and sees his grandmother walking towards him quickly.
He gives a tight lipped smile and rises to his feet, “Halmeoni.”
Halmeoni pulls him tightly into her arms and lightly sways side to side. “My baby boy.”
Jisung wraps his arms around her back and hugs tightly. She smells floral, rose and lavender mixed with the smell of the sea. He closes his eyes and imagines her small house with flowers overflowing in the front and back yard. Hedges and vines growing up the sides of the powder blue walls. The sound of the waves crashing in the background and the perfect blue sky.
“Come on, let’s go home.” Halmeoni says with wet eyes.
Jisung picks up his duffel bag and links arms with her as they walk out.
It’s been one hundred and thirteen days since Jisung was admitted into rehab.
It’s been one hundred and fourteen days since the last time he had a drink.
It’s been one hundred and fourteen days since he last spoke to his father.
Jisung will be staying with his grandmother in the small seaside town he used to spend his summers at as a kid. The clear blue sky, the salty sea water and the old residents he used to help for extra cash to buy ice cream and junk food.
“Seungmin and Hyunjin are excited to see you.” Halmeoni says as they pull off the highway towards the seaside town.
“They’re still there?” Jisung cocks an eyebrow.
“Yes, after they graduated college they came back and helped out their grandparents at their businesses.”
Jisung nods and looks out the window. Familiar scenery passes by quickly. Memories play in his head as they drive through the town. Hyunjin sat on the handlebars of Seungmin’s bike as they laughed while riding along the boardwalk. Seungmin sang ballads at karaoke in the arcade while Jisung and Hyunjin held up their phone flashlights. Jisung roasted marshmallows over the fire pit on the beach as they told scary stories.
Strong arms wrapped around his middle. Hot breath ghosting the shell of his ear. Perfectly sculpted jawline, high cheekbones and a sharp nose. Perfect little bunny teeth smile. The scent of warm vanilla that encapsulated his senses and the feeling of home. Jisung closes his eyes and tries to will the memory away before the darkness sets in. Before the tears that he can still feel falling down his cheeks begin. Before the sight of packed bags and the sound of small sniffles. Before the feeling of lips on his one last time.
Halmeoni pulls into the driveway and guides Jisung inside. The house is exactly the same. The small porch held figurines of animals sculpted by Halmeoni’s friends. The foyer led straight into the living room with the floral patterned couch, the wooden rocking chair and the bookcase filled with books. The same wooden dining table that Jisung ate countless meals at with his friends. The kitchen with wooden cabinets, a white refrigerator and white stove and oven combo. The room he is staying in is the same except the bed is bigger than the bunk bed that used to occupy the space. The wooden desk with the purple lava lamp and even his Epik High poster still on the wall.
Jisung sets his duffel down on the bed and sits on the corner looking around. His white hospital bracelet is still itching his wrist. The smell of the hospital still adorning his clothes.
“I’ll let you unpack and get settled. Seungmin runs the cafe now, and he said he has an open position for you. So take some time to unpack and then head down and meet him at four.” Halmeoni smiles.
Jisung nods and begins unpacking. He hangs his clothes up in the closet, stuffs his duffel away, and takes a quick shower to get the smell of hospital off of him.
One hundred and thirteen days.
Jisung pulls on a black sweater, jeans and a beanie and walks down to the cafe. It’s the same cafe he used to frequent with Seungmin and Hyunjin. They would get frozen mochas and iced americanos and use the free wifi to watch movies and play video games. It had a big couch and multiple mismatched tables and chairs. A small bookcase filled with used old books and board games with missing pieces from the years of use.
Jisung opens the door and the same familiar bell rings above him. He looks up and smiles lightly at it.
“Welcome in!” A voice says from the front counter.
Jisung looks over and sees a petite blonde, his hair pulled back in a small bun with stray hairs framing his freckled face. He had pointed features, but the softest smile.
“Hi, I’m here to see Seungmin.” Jisung smiles.
“Well well well, look what the cat dragged in.” Seungmin sings.
Jisung looks at his old friend and his heart tugs. He still had the same puppy eyes, the giant smile and lean build. He was slightly taller now, and his hair was longer falling perfectly against his forehead.
“Long time no see.” Jisung says, pulling Seungmin into a hug.
“About 8 years, Ji.” Seungmin says into Jisung’s neck.
“Has it really been that long?” Jisung chuckles.
“This is Felix. Felix, this is Han Jisung.”
Felix’s face lights up, “wait, THE Han Jisung???”
Jisung scrunches his eyebrows, “what do you mean THE?”
“Aren’t you the son of Han Jongwoo?”
Han clenches his jaw and nods.
“Oh shit.” Felix laughs.
“We don’t talk about him, Felix.” Seungmin scolds.
“Sorry, I just didn't know. I hate him by the way. He’s an asshole.” Felix cringes.
Jisung smiles, “welcome to the club.”
“Come on, let me teach you how to make coffee.” Seungmin says.
They spend the next two hours going over the basics of the espresso machine and the front register. Seungmin makes it a point to call Jisung an idiot at least three times even though Jisung picks everything up rather quickly.
The bell dings and when Jisung looks up, he’s met with big eyes, long black hair, full red lips and a slender body.
“Han mother fucking Jisung.” Hyunjin smiles.
Jisung laughs, “Hwang the baddest bitch Hyunjin.”
Hyunjin jumps over the counter and brings Jisung into a bear hug. Earning him a smack in the back of the head by Seungmin.
“Do not jump over my counters!”
“Eight years! Eight fucking years, Jisung!” Hyunjin yells.
Jisung laughs, “I know, I’m sorry.”
“You better be sorry!” Hyunjin pulls away to look Jisung up and down. “When did you get so buff?”
Jisung laughs, “What else was I supposed to do in rehab?”
Hyunjin giggles, “I don’t know, fix your brain?”
“Ah, too late for that one.”
Hyunjin shakes his head, “dinner tonight. We need to catch up.” He pokes Jisung’s forehead.
“Bring him to Gunbae.” Hyunjin says to Seungmin.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Jisung winces.
“No drinking, just good food and good company. Felix you can come too!” Hyunjin says making himself an iced americano.
“Are Channie hyung and Changbin hyung coming too?” Felix asks.
“Nah, I think we’ll wait to introduce them to you. We need to catch up first.” Seungmin says.
“Who and who?” Jisung raises his eyebrows.
“Did you think we came back to this town for work?” Hyunjin smirks.
“Chan is my boyfriend and Changbin is Hyunjin’s fiance.” Seungmin smiles.
“You’re engaged?!” Jisung yells.
Hyunjin wiggles his left hand and shows off his ring, “I told you we have a lot to catch up on. I’ll meet you guys there, I have to meet up with the florist for the wedding.” He sips his americano and waves goodbye. The bell rings as he walks out.
Jisung looks at Seungmin, “you came out?”
Seungmin wipes the counter down in front of him, “like Hyune said, we have a lot to catch up on.”
~~~~~
Jisung spends the rest of the night learning closing tasks and going over his schedule with Seungmin. He doesn’t argue or say anything else, he just accepts his new position and whatever pay Seungmin is giving him.
Jisung gave up a long time ago.
After they close up shop they walk down to Gunbae, the local barbecue restaurant that opened up a few years ago. It’s mainly a place to drink and eat greasy street food.
They walk inside and Seungmin leads them to a private room where Hyunjin is already grilling samgyupsal. Jisung sits across from Hyunjin and Felix sits down next to him. Seungmin takes the spot next to Hyunjin and begins pouring soda into the plastic cups and handing out chopsticks and spoons.
Hyunjin begins the conversation and tells Jisung all about what he’s missed in the last eight years. Hyunjin graduated with a Master’s Degree in illustration. He works from home creating webtoons and illustrating children’s books. He met Changbin in college and they spent two years dancing around each other before Changbin gave Hyunjin an ultimatum and basically told him it’s now or never. Hyunjin chose now, so they’ve been together for three years and engaged for one.
Seungmin went to law school and got his license as a civil lawyer. He actually practices in the town for all of the residents and runs the cafe on the side for his grandmother. Chan works on the docks with Changbin as longshoremen. They’re typically gone three days a week, but they’re starting to get more help as the increase in demand grows so they’ve only been going out to sea twice a month now.
“So you met Chan when he came in for coffee in the mornings?” Jisung asks.
“Yeah he was a regular before I moved back and my grandmother introduced him to me.” Seungmin answers.
“When did you come out?”
“I told my parents when I was in law school. And that was the end of it. Haven’t spoken to them since.” Seungmin sighs.
“I’m sorry.” Han frowns.
“All good. My grandparents still love me and accept who I am and that’s all that really matters to me.”
Jisung nods and looks at both Seungmin and Hyunjin. Silence.
“What?” Jisung asks wide eyed.
“So what happened? You left eight years ago to London and then disappeared off the Earth.” Seungmin quips.
Jisung chuckles, “Don’t act like you all didn’t read about me.”
“I mean, I know what the articles said, but I want to hear it from you.” Hyunjin points his chopsticks at Jisung.
Jisung sits up and clears his throat, “I went to Cambridge, graduated with a Master’s in Business Administration, took over the European business, did extremely well, and then my father’s announced his retirement and put my bitch ass sister in charge and she took me off of everything. So I drank until I couldn’t feel anything and ended up driving my car into a light post and went to rehab for almost four months. Now I’m here.”
“So the articles were true.” Seungmin swallows.
“I don’t understand. Why didn’t he give it to you? Jisu doesn’t even like business.” Hyunjin asks.
“There has to be an heir.” Jisung sighs. “I am not able to produce a legitimate one.”
Hyunjin scrunches his eyebrows, “Because you’re gay? Does your father not know about surrogacy?”
“Can’t have a kid without a mother. It’s ‘unnatural.’” Jisung says, raising his fingers to air quotes.
“Wow.” Felix scoffs.
“Well Jisu will definitely give him the heir he so desperately desires. She’ll sleep with anything that moves.” Seungmin groans. “Remember when she tried to sleep with me?”
“Wait, Jisu is your sister?” Felix asks.
“She’s my twin.” Jisung laughs.
“Oh shit.” Felix stares. “You’re not close with her at all? A twin is like a built-in best friend.”
“We were when we were younger, but when I left for London, she stayed and ran the Korean office and we drifted because our father brainwashed her. We haven’t had a normal conversation in years.” Jisung explains.
Felix nods, “I’m sorry, I can’t imagine not being able to talk to my sister.”
Jisung shrugs and pushes food around on his plate. He does miss his sister. Up until they were 18 they were best friends. Now 8 years later he doesn’t even have her phone number.
“Sungie, are you okay?” Seungmin asks.
Jisung looks up and smiles, “yeah I’ll be okay.”
Seungmin stares a second too long and just sighs.
Hyunjin eyes him carefully, “it’s good to have you back. It’s like we’re picking up right where we left off.”
Jisung swallows, “not completely.”
Hyunjin smiles, “he’s around you know.”
Jisung’s head snaps towards Hyunjin, wide eyed.
“Who?” Felix asks.
“Lee Minho.” Seungmin smiles.
“The old man who does Pilates on the beach?” Felix cocks his head.
“No, you idiot!” Seungmin flicks Felix’s forehead. “Lee Minho, the chef!”
Felix’s face lights up, “oh! He’s so hot.”
Jisung swallows.
“Yeah they were a thing the last summer Jisung was here before London. Minho went to Japan for culinary school. Yet you both ended up back here, interesting how that works.” Seungmin grins.
“God you two were inseparable. We used to call them chopsticks because they could not keep their hands off each other. Didn’t you lose your virginity to him?” Hyunjin asks.
Jisung’s face glows red.
“Oh my god! Tell me more.” Felix beams.
“It doesn’t matter, it was so long ago, I don’t think he even remembers me.” Jisung shakes his head.
Seungmin barks out a laugh. “Is that really what you think?”
Jisung bites his lip.
“You really think he doesn’t remember you?” Hyunjin glares.
Jisung swallows and slumps into the chair.
“Fine, let’s ask him.” Seungmin says, pulling out his phone.
“No! No! Please don’t. Just let him walk into the cafe and see me, don’t tell him I’m here. Please!” Jisung yells.
“Damn, you’re still in love with him.” Hyunjin says, resting his chin on his palm.
“Can you even call it that? We were only a thing for three months before we had to go back to reality. We never even made it official or anything, it wasn’t even - isn’t even - I don’t know. I just, fuck.” Jisung rubs his face.
“Right person, wrong time?” Hyunjin says.
“Yeah. Who knows, maybe it was all just a summer fling to him anyway. We tried talking after, but the time zones were so different, at some point I just stopped responding. I got so busy with school and working on running the business that I just didn’t have time for anything else. I literally gave up my entire early twenties to my father’s stupid ass business. I poured everything I had into it, I made so much money for him. I expanded across borders and created new lines of exports. All of it, for seven fucking years I gave him everything. I didn’t even want to go to Cambridge! But I went just to make him happy and what does he do? He gives it all to Jisu. Everything to her, kicked me out and used me to build his business.” Jisung throws his chopsticks on the table making the metal clink against the plate.
“I’m so sorry, Ji.” Hyunjin says.
“I gave up everything.” Jisung sighs. He’s clenching his jaw so hard it hurts. His vision gets slightly blurry from the tears welling up in his eyes. He digs the heel of his palms into his eyes and wipes the tears away before they fall.
Jisung has talked about this already with the therapist in rehab. He constantly thought about what his life would have been like had he not gone away. He wondered if he would have made it work with Minho, if he would have gone to college with Seungmin and Hyunjin instead and had the normal college experience. He wondered if he still would have become an alcoholic, depressed and constantly anxious. He wondered if he would have tried to drive into a light pole.
“You did that on purpose?” Seungmin gasps.
Jisung looks up, his vision spotty from digging his palms into his eyes, “did I say that out loud?”
Hyunjin gets up and wraps his arms around Jisung into a tight hug, “Ji, why didn’t you call us?”
Jisung chokes on a sob, “I didn’t want to bother you.”
Seungmin sighs, “Han Jisung, we’ve been friends since we were five years old. Are you fucking kidding me?”
Jisung sighs and lets Hyunjin hold him in his arms.
“We’re together now. Everything is gonna be okay.” Hyunjin cries.
Felix rubs Jisung’s arm and smiles. Seungmin nods his head and smiles too. Jisung nods and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.
~~~~~
Twenty three days since Jisung’s been out of rehab.
Jisung met Chan and Changbin and they became friends quickly. He started going to the gym with them after work and shared a love for music. He spent more and more time getting to know this new group of friends.
Hyunjin asks Jisung to be a groomsman for his wedding and they spend an entire day looking for tuxedos to wear. Seungmin tries not to complain too much and Felix just giggles and says everything looks pretty.
The days went on and Jisung kept busy. If he wasn’t working he was spending time with his friends or helping Halmeoni with her garden. He was still required to attend therapy once a week. Seungmin or Hyunjin would drive him and then they’d have lunch afterwards. It became routine and Jisung was feeling better.
But it’s been forty six days and Minho still hasn’t shown up at the cafe or magically ran into Jisung while they were out. Hyunjin told Jisung that Minho owns the restaurant at the end of the pier. If Jisung doesn’t go to the pier, that’s definitely not the reason why. Seungmin says that Minho owns two other restaurants in the big city that he also spends time at which is probably why Jisung hasn’t seen him around. If Jisung’s heart rate picks up every time the bell dings on the front door of the cafe, that’s no one’s business.
Jisung wants to see Minho, but he also doesn’t. He’s curious, but he’s also scared. He is now a part time employee at his childhood best friend’s cafe and Lee Minho is an award winning chef with three thriving restaurants. Jisung is a recovering alcoholic who had to go to rehab and attend therapy once a week to fix his fragile brain. So Jisung is glad Minho isn’t around. Why would Minho want to waste his time with Jisung anyway?
The bell dings.
“Welcome -” Jisung starts.
There he is. Lee Minho.
“Fuck.” Jisung says under his breath.
Because Lee Minho is standing in the lobby of the cafe and he looks gorgeous. The same cat eyes that bore into his soul eight years ago are staring at him again. His same pointed features, his lean build, his thick thighs -
Jisung turns and goes straight into the back room.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck!” Jisung panics walking into the corner of the back room by the mop sink.
He grabs onto his chest and focuses on breathing. “No no no no. He can’t actually be here. Shit. Fuck. God shit.”
“Jisung?” Felix yells walking to the back. “Hey, breathe.”
Felix helps Jisung take steady breaths, “That’s it, it’s okay. He’s gone.”
Jisung closes his eyes and clenches his jaw, “Fuck.”
“He saw you go into the backroom cursing and then blinked like four times and turned and walked out.” Felix winces.
Jisung drags his hands over his face, “I’m such an idiot.”
“No, no, it was a jump scare, you weren’t prepared.” Felix says, rubbing Jisung’s arms to calm him down.
“Where the fuck are my employees?!” Seungmin screams.
Felix jumps and runs out, “sorry, Jisung is having a panic attack.”
Seungmin walks to the back and stares at Jisung, “Can you not have a panic attack while on the clock please?”
“Fuck you.” Jisung groans.
“That is not how you speak to your employer, young man!” Seungmin crosses his arms.
“I’m older than you.” Jisung scoffs walking back to the front.
“By eight days!” Seungmin yells. “Why were you panicking?”
“Lee Minho walked in.” Felix says after helping the customer that was waiting.
“Don’t tell me you ran away.” Seungmin sighs.
Jisung shrugs and wipes down the counter, “I didn’t know what to do.”
The bell dings.
He’s back. Lee Minho.
“Fuck.” Jisung says.
Minho stands in the lobby again, he’s staring at Jisung with big brown eyes. Jisung turns and tries to run away again.
“Wait!” Minho yells.
Jisung stops and looks down at the floor and waits for whatever Minho wants to say. But a moment passes and silence. Jisung looks up and Minho is still standing in the same place, staring.
“Ji-Jisungie?” Minho says, softly.
Jisung feels bile coming up his throat and he runs into the back room. He goes to the mop sink and empties his stomach. His head is spinning and tears and snot are running down his face. He’s gasping for breath, but the bile keeps coming up. He feels a cold towel on the back of his neck and a soothing hand on his back.
“Shh, it’s okay.” Felix says. He hands Jisung a clean towel to wipe his face.
“I need to get out of here.” Jisung croaks, his throat raw and scratchy.
“Seungmin called Hyunjin, he’s on his way to get you.” Felix coos.
Jisung cries into the towel and slumps forward. It’s over. Jisung just ran into the backroom and threw up after seeing Minho. “He probably thinks I hate him or can’t stand him. What the fuck is wrong with me?”
Felix runs the hot water to wash the puke down the drain and sprays bleach into the sink.
“Did he say anything?” Jisung squeaks.
“He just blinked a few times and then shook his head and walked out.” Felix answers.
Jisung cries harder into the towel. Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe it’s better that Jisung did this so Minho won’t show up again and he’ll be able to peacefully move on. Even though every part of him is wishing he could see him again. Just seeing him for a few seconds made Jisung’s heart skip a beat. Flashbacks to his laugh and his smile and his fond gaze. It all came rushing back and the smell of bleach is making him sick again.
“Fuck, I can’t do this.” Jisung stands up and waddles out to the front right when Hyunjin runs in.
“Oh, baby, what happened?” Hyunjin coos.
Jisung shakes his head and pulls his arm out the front door. The bell dings on their way out.
~~~~~
Jisung never learned to swim. He loves the water, enjoys the way it ripples when something disturbs the surface. The sound of the waves as they crash against each other. The gentle flow that takes its time and moves at its own speed. But he never learned how to swim. How to tread water and go against the tide. How to float on the water and not sink to the depths.
It’s been sixteen days since Minho walked into the cafe. Since then, Jisung hasn’t run into him. He went straight to his therapist after the incident happened. Hyunjin was kind enough not to pry or ask any more questions. It was hard to hear the bell dings for a few days after that.
He’s sitting on the beach watching the sunset on the horizon. His toes are buried under the cool sand, a stick in his hand drawing mindless circles in front of him. Halmeoni asked him a serious question recently.
“So what are your plans, Jisung?” Halmeoni asks.
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t plan on working at the cafe forever now, do you?”
Jisung shrugs.
“Jisung.” Halmeoni warns.
“I don’t know if I want to keep doing business.” Jisung sighs.
“That’s okay, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Halmeoni sighs, “You are brilliant my sunshine boy. Just follow your heart.”
Jisung thought about his hobbies and what he might want to do, but nothing was motivating. He had no interests and everything was dull and gray. But he needs to figure out something. He can’t let his grandmother down. She is the only person who would answer the phone when he called from the hospital after his release. She is the one who dropped everything to let him stay with her. He can’t let her down like he let everyone else down in his life.
Jisung sighs, “Come on Ji, get your shit together.”
“Hey.”
Jisung freezes.
“I I’m sorry, I’ll leave.”
Jisung turns and sees Minho walking away, “Wait!”
Minho stops and turns around to face him. Jisung stares, he’s wearing a gray hoodie and black sweatpants. He’s holding his sandals in his hands and his big brown eyes are staring at him.
“I’m sorry for running away last time.” Jisung squeaks.
Minho nods, “Are you gonna puke if we talk?”
Jisung chuckles, “I’ll try not to.”
Minho walks back over and sits down next to Jisung. Not too far but not too close.
Jisung’s heart was pounding in his ears and his hands started to get clammy. A cold sweat was forming on the back of his neck and he had a hard time swallowing.
“I’m surprised to see you.” Minho says, quietly.
“I’m sure you’ve read the articles.” Jisung sighs.
“I did.” Minho answers. “How are you doing?”
Jisung shrugs. “How are you?”
Minho squints, “Is that what we’re doing now? The small talk bullshit?”
“Do you want to jump right to the trauma then?” Jisung quips.
“Sure. Let’s make it interesting.” Minho suggests.
Jisung scoffs, “You’re not ready.”
“Try me.” Minho challenges.
Jisung turns his entire body towards Minho, “I’m an alcoholic.”
Minho turns his entire body towards Jisung, “I’m depressed.”
“Hey, samesies!” Jisung points.
Minho chuckles, “I almost had a kid.”
Jisung blinks, “Almost?”
“She lost the baby.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, no, trauma dumping, remember? Your turn.”
“I drove into a light pole.” Jisung clenches his jaw.
Minho winces, “I was hoping that was a lie.”
Jisung shrugs, “I’m the ex CEO of Han Corp Europe. My twin sister thought it would be nice to cut me off from the business and take all the credit. My father set me up and then when Jisu took over, she cut me off. The day I was sent to rehab he told me I was a sorry excuse for a son. ‘What’s the point in having a son if he isn’t going to give me a proper heir to carry on the family name? I should have had twin daughters.’ Now I work part time at Seungmin’s cafe having an existential crisis on what I want to do with my life.”
Minho stares, “You win.”
“I could have told you that from the start.” Jisung chuckles, turning back to the ocean. “What happened with your girlfriend or wife?”
“We never dated. One night stand. She ended up pregnant.” Minho answers.
Jisung nods.
“I was in a low place, I just wanted to feel something. Anything. Did a lot of things I shouldn’t have. But you live and you learn.” Minho turns back towards the ocean as well.
“Three thriving restaurants. Proud of you. You followed your dreams.” Jisung smiles.
“Thank you. They were a good distraction.” Minho says.
“From what?” Jisung looks over at Minho.
“Letting you walk away from me.” Minho answers, looking into Jisung’s eyes.
Jisung’s heart stops. He looks down at his feet under the sand, his toes moving making the sand fall around them. He can only hear ringing in his ears, the sound of the waves drowning out. Sweat beads form on his neck and trickle down his back.
“I - I uhm, I gotta go.” Jisung stands up quickly, lightheaded from the sudden movement.
Minho stands next to him and says something, but Jisung isn’t listening or he can’t hear him through the ringing. He bows to Minho, because he doesn't know why and sprints towards his grandmother’s house. The minute he gets inside sweat is beading down his face into his eyes and it stings.
“Jisungie?” Halmeoni gasps. “What happened? Are you okay?”
Jisung reaches for his chest, the pain constricting his breathing. He’s gasping for breath, not able to get enough air. His vision is spotty and he’s about to pass out when a rush of cold water is dumped over his head.
“Ah!” Jisung screams. His vision levels out and he’s able to take stable breaths. The ringing subsides and Halmeoni appears in front of him with a towel.
“What happened?” Halmeoni yells.
Jisung sighs, “Do you remember Lee Minho?”
Halmeoni sighs, “The boy you fell in love with and walked away from to follow your father’s stupid demands? Yes, I remember him.”
Jisung chokes, “Halmeoni.”
“Shh, it’s okay, Jisungie, it’s okay.” Halmeoni wraps her arms around Jisung and lets him cry into her sweater.
Jisung stood under the hot water, his tears mixing with streams running down his face. Letting you walk away from me. Jisung bites his lip, already raw from the abuse. How would he have known? They never made it official. They never said it was love. Love. What even is that?
The boy you fell in love with and walked away from to follow your father’s stupid demands.
Damn you’re still in love with him.
Jisung shuts off the water and buries his face into the towel. Jisung looks into the mirror. His bottom lip is red and bleeding. His neck and chest bloomed red from the hot water. The tinge of pink on his cheeks and his eyes are raw and red. He could still smell him. Still smell the warm vanilla mixed with his fabric softener. He could see his beautiful brown -
Jisung slaps himself. “You don’t deserve this.”
He pulls on his oversized shirt and boxers and walks back to his room. His phone had one missed message.
Unknown number
Seungmin gave me your number.
I’ll leave you alone now.
Sorry.
I hope you get better.
It was nice seeing you.
I hope you find what you’re looking for.
Minho
Jisung throws his phone across the room and watches it shatter. Then he runs out looking for the nearest liquor store.
~~~~~
Jisung stared at the large bottle of soju in his hands. He was back on the beach, but the sun was long gone. It was just him and the moon now. The waves were crashing harder, violently along the shore. He sat close to the edge, the cold water lapping at his toes. He dug a small inlet in the wet sand and rested the soju bottle in it.
His mouth watered, his hands were shaking. It was there right in front of him, the one thing to make him stop thinking. The one thing to make him go numb enough to forget everything. The one thing to temporarily ease the pain in his heart. But why was he hesitating?
Jisung takes a deep breath and exhales through his mouth. He looks up at the full moon and clenches his jaw.
“What’s the point?” He whispers.
“Who knows.” Hyunjin says behind him. Hyunjin walks up and sits down right next to jisung and wraps the blanket around him. Seungmin sits down on his other side and they huddle together, staring up at the moon.
“Halmeoni call you?” Jisung asks.
“Nope.” Seungmin says.
“Did you see my bat signal?” Jisung jokes.
“Something like that.” Hyunjin says, staring at the bottle in front of them.
Jisung hums.
“It’s still closed.” Hyunjin says.
“Yeah, I don’t know why I hesitated.”
“Maybe you want something better for yourself. Deep down your self consciousness is trying to protect you.” Seungmin nudges his shoulder.
Jisung hums again.
“Remember when we used to sing on the porch at my grandparents house? And you would play the guitar and make new melodies?” Seungmin asks.
Jisung nods, “Damn, I haven’t played guitar in so long.”
“Maybe you should try again.” Hyunjin smiles.
“Chan has a guitar and a piano. Him and Changbin actually have a whole mix board or whatever you call it. Maybe try writing your songs again.” Seungmin suggests.
Jisung nods, “I guess.”
“Something in here,” Hyunjin points to Jisung’s chest, “and here,” pointing to his forehead, “want you to get better. So let’s take it one step at a time, yeah?”
Jisung rests his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder, “yeah. Who told you I was here?”
“Minho hyung. He saw you run into the liquor store.” Seungmin says.
Jisung’s heart jumps to his throat. Of course he saw. Now he’ll think he’s just a weak coward.
“He just told us to make sure you’re okay. He still cares about you, Jisungie. Maybe not run away every time he shows up, yeah?” Hyunjin pets his head.
“How could he still care about me? It’s been years.” Jisung whines.
“We still care about you.” Seungmin pinches Jisung’s side. “Do you still care about him?”
Jisung nods.
“I know it’s been eight years, Ji, but for the way you acted that day in the cafe, you still love him. And the way he acted, he still loves you. I don't think you guys ever stopped.” Seungmin says.
“Do you believe in soulmates?” Jisung asks.
Hyunjin laughs, “Yeah I do, and Minho hyung is definitely yours. So take it easy on him, he’s been waiting for you for a long time.”
“How do you know that?” Jisung says.
“Because why else would he open up a restaurant at the end of the pier where he first saw you making sand castles on the beach? He didn’t grow up here, Jisung, you did. Why would he open a whole restaurant where the featured dessert is a chocolate cheesecake? He waited for you to come back.” Hyunjin smiles.
“How’d he know I would?” Jisung asks.
“Maybe ask him sometime.” Seungmin nudges.
Jisung hums, maybe one day, he’ll have the courage to ask him.
Thirty three days.
It’s been thirty three days since Jisung’s almost relapse. He fished his sim card out of the broken pieces of his phone and was able to recover almost everything. He spent more time with Chan and Changbin, learning how to utilize the mixing program and writing out lyrics.
As time went on he felt himself getting back to himself, his days felt brighter, he was humming and singing along to the soft music that played in the cafe and he found himself laughing and smiling again.
Not a day went by without him though. As much as Jisung tried to not think about him, he always did. In small ways like when the stray cat would meow at him when he sat on the porch or when his grandmother would make kimbap and tteokbokki. In big ways like when he would see a couple sitting in the cafe sharing a cheesecake or late at night when he was alone in his room as he bit down on his pillow to stifle the noises he was making from the movements of his hands on himself under the blanket.
Jisung would stare at the number in his phone and the message Minho sent him. Typing out a reply and then deleting it. Trying to find a way to mend whatever broken pieces he had, but always running away in the end. Maybe one day he’ll find the courage to say something.
“Jisung, we have a problem.” Hyunjin panics.
“What? What’s wrong?”
“The caterer bailed on me for the wedding.” Hyunjin says, falling into the couch at the cafe.
“What?! The wedding is in two weeks!” Jisung yells.
“I know! What am I gonna do?!” Hyunjin cries.
Jisung stares at Hyunjin. No. He can’t. No. It’s not possible. Two weeks? How? No.
“I mean.” Jisung starts.
“No! I’m not doing that to you. Maybe Felix can make something.” Hyunjin looks up and sees Felix drop an entire bucket of ice on the floor.
Jisung winces and looks back at Hyunjin, “Hyune.”
“No! It’s fine, I’ll call around and see if anyone can cater a 100 person wedding with two weeks notice. It’s fine!” Hyunjin bites his nails.
“Stop.” Jisung grabs his hands, “Just call him.”
Hyunjin looks at Jisung carefully, “No, I can’t. You’ve been doing so well.”
“Then this will be a test to see how well I’m actually doing. Hopefully I don’t throw up or run away this time. Progress right?” Jisung chuckles.
Hyunjin clenches his jaw, “Fine, but he might say no. He owns three restaurants, he’s probably too busy and it’s such a short notice and he might have plans or maybe he’s not even -”
“Hyune! Just call him!” Jisung shakes Hyunjin’s arms.
Hyunjin nods and pulls out his phone. Jisung walks back behind the counter as Felix sweeps the ice into the floor drain. “You good?”
Jisung nods and busies himself with cleaning the espresso machine.
“Thank you thank you thank you thank you hyung!” Hyunjin yells jumping up and down.
Jisung takes a deep breath as Hyunjin walks over to him, “He’s gonna do it.”
Jisung nods, “that’s great.”
Hyunjin smiles, “Are you okay?”
Jisung smiles, “Peachy.”
Jisung is not okay. He is internally screaming.
“Great, tomorrow we are gonna go sample the menu.” Hyunjin says.
“Why are you not doing this with Changbin?” Jisung asks.
“We’re all going. The wedding party is invited.”
Jisung swallows. “Okay.”
“You’ll be fine!” Hyunjin blows Jisung a kiss and walks out.
“I’ll be right there with you.” Felix smiles.
Jisung sighs.
The next day came way too quickly. All of a sudden they were sitting at Minho’s restaurant at the end of the pier. They were closed, since the restaurant closes for three hours between lunch and dinner. The tables were wooden and the restaurant had a sea theme to match its location. A fish tank was in the front with colorful fish that swam from the floor to the ceiling. The kitchen can be seen, a fully open kitchen concept.
The hostess sat them at a table in the middle of the restaurant and there were papers and pens already on the table with lists of appetizers and main courses.
“You’re supposed to taste the food before you decide on which ones you want.” Hyunjin laughs as Changbin circles the dishes he wants.
“Pork belly and scallop appetizers. How can you not want that?” Changbin huffs.
Chan laughs, “How are you gonna pick between seafood pasta and steak and lobster?”
Changbin rubs his forehead, “Can we get both?”
Hyunjin laughs, “No. You have to choose one.”
“Ahem.”
Six pairs of eyes look up at the noise.
Jisung’s breath hitches in his throat. Minho’s hair was pushed back, exposing his forehead. He was wearing a white chef’s coat and his arms were folded behind his back. His black slacks fit his thick thighs and ass perfectly. The veins in his forearms were already popping out, begging to be touched and lick-
“Good to see you all again.” Minho smiles.
Jisung shakes his head and adjusts his pants.
“Hi hyung!” Seungmin beams.
“Seungminnie.” Minho laughs.
Minho’s eyes linger on Jisung for a moment before going back to Hyunjin and Changbin. “So I see you’ve already seen the list of items I prepared. My assistant Jeongin is gonna be helping me with the courses and will be another point of contact.” A young man appears and bows to the group. He pulls over a cart filled with six plates, each with the four starters listed on the sheet of paper.
“Good afternoon, everyone. Starting on the top left we have the pork belly scallop with a garlic cream sauce, top right is an individual portion of caprese stacker, bottom right is an oyster shooter, and bottom left is giant tempura prawn with a lemon garlic sauce. Please enjoy and circle on the sheet which time you enjoyed the most.” Jeongin smiles wide, his eyes turning to slits. His long golden hair falling perfectly around his face and wisping outwards on the ends.
“Oh he’s so cute!” Felix squeals.
As the group begins tasting the appetizers, it’s all low moans and crunching.
“Oh my god, everything is so good.” Felix whines.
Jisung moans as he takes the last bite on his plate. Minho’s cooking just got exceptionally better in the last eight years. He missed it. He missed Minho’s cooking and how he always tailored his food to Jisung’s liking, like not making something too spicy, and always giving him the biggest slice of dessert especially if it was chocolate.
Jeongin brings out the main dishes and again, the food is delicious. They were all sample sizes of the four main dishes to choose from. Minho came out during that round of food and watched as everyone ate his food.
“Minho, how are you still single?” Felix asks.
Hyunjin chokes on his steak and Changbin is smacking his back.
“I’m sorry?” Minho laughs.
“Your cooking is incredible. How have you not found a partner?” Felix gushes.
Jisung stares intently at his empty plate.
Seungmin hits the back of Felix’s head, “Maybe he’s too busy running three restaurants.”
“I heard you slept with -” Seungmin covers Felix’s mouth and pulls his hair.
Jisung looks up at Felix wide-eyed.
“Anyways, all of the food was really delicious.” Chan smiles.
“Thanks.” Minho says, his ears and neck turning a shade of pink. “Did everyone get a chance to fill out the papers?”
Changbin gathers all of the papers and looks them over with Hyunjin, “Looks like it’s pork belly scallops and seafood pasta.”
Hyunjin nods, “Are you sure it’s not too much?”
Minho shakes his head, “It is, but it’s either me or you buy take out, so I guess I’ll do it. I take payment up front though.”
Hyunjin turns towards Changbin, “Pay him.”
Changin scoffs and pulls out his wallet and follows Minho over to the front.
Jeongin reappears with a chocolate cheesecake, “Does anyone have room for dessert?”
Jisung nods and his mouth waters looking at the cheesecake. Jeongin cuts slices for everyone and cuts a slightly bigger cut for Jisung.
“You’re Jisung, right?” Jeongin asks.
Jisung blinks and nods.
“It’s nice to meet you, hyung told me a lot about you.” Jeongin smiles. “He said this is your favorite.”
Jisung swallows and looks down at the cheesecake. “Uh, thank you.”
Jeongin bows to the group and walks back to the kitchen. Changbin returns and they finish up their dessert. Jisung’s mind is racing thinking about how Minho talks about him to his assistant. A part of him wants to ask why, but another part of him is too scared to know the real answer.
They finish up and are getting ready to leave when Jisung sees Felix go over and talk to Minho. They’re giggling and smiling and Jisung feels his stomach stir. The hair on the back of his neck is standing on end and his ears start to feel way too warm. A hand goes to his shoulder and he turns to look at them.
“You’re glaring a little too intensely there.” Chan says.
“No I’m not.” Jisung huffs, shrugging Chan’s hand off his shoulder.
“Sure, sure.” Chan laughs. “Try not to burn a hole through Lix. He means well.”
“Then why is he flirting with Minho hyung.” Jisung says under his breath.
“Because Minho is single and Felix is single. That’s what single people do.” Chan states.
Jisung clenches his jaw. He has no right to be jealous. Nor stake a claim on Minho. Felix has every right to flirt and make a move especially since Jisung made it abundantly clear that he doesn’t intend on speaking to Minho any time soon. So Jisung shouldn’t be mad at him, or feel jealous. At all. He shouldn’t. But everything in his body is telling him otherwise. He bites down on his lip and looks away. His heart hurts and he needs to remove himself from the situation.
“I’ll see you guys later, I think I’m gonna pass out from a food coma.” Jisung laughs.
Chan eyes him carefully.
“Want some company back home?” Hyunjin asks.
Jisung looks back at Minho and Felix giggling again, “Nah I’m good.”
Hyunjin looks at them and sighs.
Jisung shoves his hands into his pockets and walks out. He walks down the pier and onto the beach, he walks over to the kids area and sits down on one of the swings. He starts kicking slowly, barely moving.
Maybe if he was braver he would have the courage to talk to Minho. He would tell him how sorry he is for running away again. And how much he misses him. Because he does. Tell him how much he thought about him the last eight years and how much he wished he didn’t leave. Maybe if Jisung was braver he would allow himself to be selfish and tell Minho how much he wants to take him on a date and get to know him all over again. Ask him about his life now and see if he still loves anime and still has endless pictures of the stray cats he used to photograph.
Maybe if Jisung was braver he would tell Minho how sorry he is for not keeping contact with him. Tell him how no man was ever able to live up to him. Tell him no matter how many times he tried, no one touched him the same way, kissed him the same, made him fall apart the same. Maybe in another life, another universe, that Jisung would be brave.
Jisung wipes his face, barely noticing the tears that ran down his cheeks. Because even if Jisung was brave, he doesn’t deserve it. He can’t be selfish enough to let Minho settle for him. Let Minho settle for some recovering alcoholic with mental health issues and no direction in life. Even if Jisung was brave, Minho would never be his, because Minho deserves better.
~~~~~
“Jisungie!” Felix squeals as Jisung walks into the cafe for his shift.
“Good morning, Lix.” Jisung smiles.
“Can I ask you a huge favor?” Felix smiles.
Jisung nods.
“Can you cover my shift tomorrow night?”
“Uh sure.” Jisung says, pulling his apron on.
“I have a date.” Felix jumps up and down.
Jisung stills, his heart dropped to his stomach and all of the hair on his body stood on end. “Oh, that’s great, Lix. I’m, I’m - uh - happy for you.”
“Thank you! It’s been so long since I’ve gone on a real date that wasn’t some stupid grindr hookup or hinge hook up. I’m so excited!” Felix sings getting the morning pastries ready for the display.
“Yeah, what, uh, what are you guys gonna do?” Jisung asks through clenched teeth.
“He’s making me dinner and then we’re gonna go to the boardwalk and play the carnival games.” Felix smiles wide.
Jisung swallows, “That sounds like a lot of fun. I hope you enjoy yourself.”
Felix giggles and continues setting up the display case as Jisung gets the coffee ready before they open up. The rest of the day goes by in a blur. Jisung can’t stop thinking about Felix and Minho going on a date. He has to remind himself over and over again that he has no right to feel jealous or angry. Felix is an incredible guy. He’s literal sunshine, he’s funny and he’s extremely handsome. He’s worthy of Minho. Not that Jisung has any say, but if he did, then Felix would be good for Minho. At least Jisung knows that Felix is a good person.
At the end of the day, Jisung just wants Minho to be happy. Even if that means that it’s not him. As long as Minho is happy, then Jisung can live with that. At least that’s what Jisung says to himself to get him through his eight hour shift.
The bell dings.
“Welcome in.” Jisung says, automatically, not even looking up.
“Hyung!” Felix yells.
Jisung looks up and sees Minho smiling wide at Felix. He holds his breath.
“Hey Yongbokkie.” Minho smiles. “Hey, Jisung.”
Yongbokkie? Who the fuck is Yongbokkie? Jisung thinks. Jisung nods and give him a tight lipped smile.
“I’m so excited for tomorrow night!” Felix bounces.
Jisung clenches his jaw and walks into the back room. He can’t stand there and watch them interact. He can cover Felix’s shift and know that they’re going on a date, but he refuses to stand there and watch them talk about it in front of him. That’s just cruel. Jisung washes whatever dishes that were back there until Felix calls him back out to the front.
“Hey, can you help me out with these drinks?” Felix yells.
Jisung walks back out and makes the stack of drinks that piled up from the rush of people that walked in. When he looks back up into the lobby, Minho is seated at one of the tables working on his tablet.
Jisung sighs and looks at the clock. He still has two hours left in his shift.
Seungmin walks in and takes one look at Jisung, “What’s wrong with you?”
Jisung scoffs, “Good afternoon to you, too.”
Seungmin rolls his eyes and drops his bag off in the back.
Felix takes off his apron and gives Jisung a side hug, “Thank you so much for covering me tomorrow! I really appreciate it.”
Jisung half smiles.
“Hyung, I’m ready!” Felix beams.
Minho looks up and closes his tablet and they leave. Together.
Jisung watches them leave. The stupid bell dings as they walk out. Jisung wants to throw it in the ocean.
“What did that cup do to you?” Seungmin asks.
Jisung looks down and sees the plastic cup he was holding crushed in his hands. He sighs and throws the cup away and grabs a new one to finish the drink he was making.
“I’m covering Felix tomorrow, he has a date.” Jisung bites.
“Ah. And you’re mad because Felix is gonna get some dick and you’re not.” Seungmin arches his eyebrow.
Jisung clenches his jaw, “No, I’m fine.”
“You know you could go out and get some if you want.”
Jisung shakes his head, “I’d rather not. And it’s not about Felix getting any dick, it’s not about anything. It’s, it’s - I - Ugh! I’m fine. Let’s just drop it.”
Seungmin shakes his head, “Go release your sexual frustration somewhere else. Not on my poor plastic cups.”
Jisung throws the second plastic cup he crushed in his hands away and grabs another one. Third time’s a charm, he supposes.
“I just. I don’t understand, I, I just, fuck.” Jisung runs his hands over his face and crouches behind the counter.
Seungmin stares.
“He knows, he knows how I feel about Minho hyung. He knows. Why? Why would he do this to me?” Jisung whispers.
Seungmin cocks his head, “What are you talking about?”
“Felix! Felix’s date is with Minho hyung!” Jisung yells.
“What? Is that what he told you?” Seungmin gasps.
“He said he has a date and from how he was giggling and talking with Minho hyung at the food tasting for the wedding, I can only assume it’s him. He hasn’t been talking about anyone else since then. And he asked Minho hyung why he doesn't have a partner. And you know what they’re gonna do on their date? He’s gonna cook him dinner and then they’re gonna play games at the boardwalk. Like how could he?! That was our first date!” Jisung presses the heels of his palms into his eyes.
“Wait, did he say it was Minho hyung directly?” Seungmin asks.
“No, but who else would it be? Who else is a chef who’s gonna make him dinner. Also it’s too perfect. Our literal first date, he made me dinner and we ate on the beach and then we played carnival games and sang karaoke and took photo booth pictures. It’s the same date, Minnie, he’s taking Felix on the same date.” Jisung cries.
“No, Ji, I don’t think he would do that.” Seungmin says.
“This is what I get. This is what I get for thinking I might have been special. This is what I get for having hope. This is fucking stupid. I’m such an idiot. It’s fine. I’m fine. Felix is a great guy. He’ll make hyung happy. I just want him to be happy, you know? I just hope Felix doesn’t fuck it all up like I did. It’s fine. I’m fine.” Jisung rambles standing up and wiping his eyes. He walks into the back into the employee bathroom and hunches over the sink.
Jisung tries to regulate his breathing. His heart hurts. It shouldn't because Minho isn’t his. He has no right to feel this way. No right to feel like his heart has shattered into a million pieces. No right to think their first date would only be reserved for them. Maybe Minho did that with all of his first dates. Maybe Jisung really isn’t special. Maybe he was just saying those nice things because Minho wanted something from him again because he knows Jisung reacts so strongly to him.
That’s it. Minho knows he still has a hold on Jisung. So he’s saying what he needs to say to get what he wants.
Jisung slaps himself.
“No you idiot, hyung isn’t like that. You’re just making shit up to make yourself feel better.” Jisung says to himself in the mirror.
He’s right, Minho isn’t like that. He’s kind and blunt and caring. He always thinks about others before himself and he always takes care of the ones he loves. Minho wouldn’t do anything he didn’t want to do and he wouldn’t pretend to be something he’s not. Jisung knows how amazing Minho is. He knows how he wears his heart on his sleeve and loves with everything he has. Jisung knows because at one point, he was on the receiving end of that love.
Now it’s Felix’s turn. And Jisung needs to accept that. He needs to accept that Minho deserves to love and be loved. Felix will be able to do that for him. Jisung needs to understand that had he been brave, it could have been him. But it’s too late now. And he needs to let Felix have a chance at being loved by Minho.
Jisung washes his face and returns to the front. They get a steady stream of customers there for the afternoon rush and once Jisung’s shift is over he waves goodbye to Seungmin and begins walking home.
“Jisungie, how was work today?” Halmeoni asks.
Jisung half smiles, “It was okay.”
Halmeoni hums, “Want to talk about it?”
“No, I’m just tired. I think I’m gonna take a nap.” Jisung kisses her cheek and then goes to his room. He showers quickly and crawls into bed pulling the covers over his head.
“Jisung?” Halmeoni says. “Wake up, honey.”
Jisung blinks and stretches out on the bed. “What time is it?”
“It’s 7am sweetie.” Halmeoni smooths the hair on his head.
“What?!” Jisung reaches for his phone. It’s dead.
“You slept all through the night. You must have been really tired. Come on, I'll make you breakfast. You’re off today right? Want to help me with the garden?”
Jisung rubs his eyes and then plugs his phone in to charge. “No, I’m covering Felix’s shift tonight. He has a date.”
“Oh how exciting. Good for him. Maybe you should get back out there too.” Halmeoni hums.
Jisung sighs and follows her out to the kitchen. They have breakfast and he helps her tend the garden before leaving for work.
“Jisungie, what’s really bothering you?” Halmeoni crosses her arms as Jisung walks towards the bathroom.
“Felix’s date tonight is with Minho hyung.” Jisung grumbles.
He faintly hears Halmeoni gasp, but shuts the bathroom door to end that conversation.
~~~~~
Nothing is worse than a slow day at work. A slow day at work on a day you’re not even supposed to work. And because you’re covering for your coworker who’s going on a date with your ex whatever that was who you still have deep rooted feelings for. Yeah, nothing is worse than that.
Except your twin sister randomly showing up.
“What in the actual fuck?” Jisung says watching Jisu get out of her Porsche sports car and walk into the cafe.
“Oh my god. You really are working at a cafe.” Jisu gasps, removing her sunglasses and setting them on the top of her head.
“Oh hell no.” Seungmin groans.
“Kim Seungmin? Oh my god it’s been so long!” Jisu jumps.
“What are you doing here?” Seungmin sighs.
“I’m here to visit my baby brother of course!”
“I’m older than you.” Jisung deadpans.
“By two minutes.” Jisu retorts.
“What are you doing here?” Seungmin repeats, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Wow, you know we all used to be so close, why are you being so rude to me?” Jisu scoffs.
“I don’t know, maybe because you cut off your only brother slash best friend and left him to fend for himself. Maybe because you took all of the credit for what Jisung did. Maybe because you’re just an asshole.” Seungmin smiles.
“Is that what Jisung told you? Wow, Sung, how many other lies did you make up while in the nuthouse?” Jisu cackles.
“Jisu, say what you need to say and get the fuck out.” Jisung growls.
“I wanted to see how you were doing.” Jisu pouts.
“Well you could have just called and asked. Oh wait, you changed your phone number and haven’t spoken to me in over a year after you cut me out from the business. Then took credit for all the work I did in Europe while you were here sucking dick to get business deals to go through.” Jisung scowls.
“Well, I’m still rich, the CEO of Han Corp global, incredibly beautiful and you’re just a low life, clinically crazy, lonely barista.” Jisu snaps. “Are you still crying over boys, Jisungie?”
“Out! Get the fuck out!” Seungmin yells.
“You know I came here to offer you a position. I need a new assistant and I thought you would be the perfect fit.” Jisu crosses her arms and grins.
“Fuck you! Go fuck some rich ass heir and give appa the grandson he always wanted so he can toss you off to the side too.” Jisung screams.
“Hah! You just wish you could get guys like me.” Jisu rolls her eyes.
“You wish you could suck dick and fuck like me. Isn’t that why your boyfriends always ask about me instead?” Jisung grins.
Jisu gasps, “Fuck you.”
“Don’t start shit you can’t finish babe. We all know I always make them finish.” Jisung winks.
Jisu shakes her head and storms out.
Seungmin claps. “Damn.”
Jisung lets out a breathe, “A fucking assistant.”
“Well Han Corp is drowning so I think she came to try and get you to come back and fix it.”
“Of fucking course.” Jisung runs his hand over his face.
The bell dings.
“Jisu I swear to god -” Jisung starts, but is met with brown cat eyes instead.
“Uh, I just saw your sister outside.” Minho says.
“Yeah, she was in here trying to ask Jisung to be her assistant.” Seungmin laughs.
“Yeah she asked me if I was still gay.” Minho giggles.
“I’m sorry, she’s just, yeah.” Jisung looks down. “Wait, what are you doing here?”
Minho cocks his head, “Uh I’m getting a coffee?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be on a date?” Jisung meets his eyes.
“Not that I’m aware of.” Minho answers, looking at Seungmin.
“He thinks you took Yongbok on a date.” Seungmin explains.
“What?” Minho looks at Jisung.
“Felix said he needed a cover today for his date. He was flirting with you at your restaurant and then you came to pick him up yesterday to go wherever you guys went and then he said you were gonna make him dinner and go play carnival games on the boardwalk. Who else cooks around here and does cute shit like that?” Jisung scoffs.
Minho laughs. Jisung just stares at him as he holds his stomach bending over in complete hysterical laughter. Seungmin is also laughing.
“What the fuck is going on?” Jisung yells.
“Wait, were you jealous?” Minho asks, wiping his eyes.
“Fuck you.” Jisung groans and walks to the back room. He takes off his apron and grabs his keys, “I’m leaving.”
“Wait, Jisung, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Minho says.
“It doesn’t fucking matter.” Jisung says walking out. He stops on the sidewalk and takes a deep breath.
“Ugh!” He screams and walks back inside. He goes straight to the back and pulls his apron back on. “You’re not allowed to be here by yourself.” Jisung says to Seungmin.
Seungmin laughs, “I’ll be in the back washing dishes.”
Jisung wipes down the counter as Minho approaches the hand off bar.
“Hey, I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for. You can date whoever you want.” Jisung grumbles.
“Well I’m clearly not on a date with Felix.” Minho crosses his arms.
“I can see that.” Jisung clenches his jaw.
“What did I do to you?” Minho growls.
Jisung looks up and meets his eyes, “Nothing. You did absolutely nothing. It’s my fault to assume things and my fault to be jealous or whatever I was.”
“Then why are you avoiding me?”
Jisung bites his lip, “I don’t know. It’s weird. This is weird.”
“Why is it weird?” Minho asks.
“Because! It just is!”
The bell dings and Jisung goes to help the customer. Minho waits off to the side until the customer leaves.
“It doesn't have to be weird.” Minho mumbles.
Jisung rubs the back of his neck, “I don’t know, I guess I just, I, I don’t know how to do this? We didn’t necessarily end on great terms.”
Minho sighs, “It’s fine. Let’s just start over then.”
Jisung chuckles, “Start over?”
“Yeah,” Minho kicks off the wall and holds out his hand, “Hi, I’m Lee Minho.”
Jisung giggles and shakes Minho’s hand, “I’m Han Jisung.”
“Nice to meet you.” Minho smiles.
Jisung’s heart melts. Because he’s beautiful. “Nice to meet you, too.”
“So Jisung-ssi, are you from around here?”
Jisung smiles, “No, Minho-ssi, my grandmother is from here, I live with her at the moment.”
“I see, I’m not from here either, I visited about eight years ago when my grandfather retired here and I fell in love with the town. I own the restaurant that’s at the end of the pier.” Minho giggles.
Jisung missed it, he missed that giggle. “Oh? My best friend is actually getting married on Saturday and the chef there is catering! Is that you?”
“Ah, yes, that’s me. I hope you enjoy the food. I heard one of the grooms loves pasta and he’s marrying the one they call flour boy.” Minho laughs.
“Yeah, I gave him that nickname. I look forward to eating your food.” Jisung smiles.
They stare at each other for a moment. Jisung wishes it was that easy. To just forget everything and start over.
“See it doesn’t have to be weird.” Minho shuffles his feet looking down.
“Yeah, I guess not.” Jisung’s cheeks burn pink.
“Okay, there are literally no more dishes to do back there and we have to get started on closing tasks. So hyung, are you gonna ask Jisung out or what? We have things to do.” Seungmin announces, bursting from the back room.
“I, uh, I” Minho stutters.
“I’m off at eight.” Jisung answers.
“I’ll be back at eight then.” Minho smiles. He starts to leave, but then turns around, “Wait, I did actually want a coffee.”
Jisung laughs and takes his order. After Minho leaves, Jisung watches the door for a moment and then turns to Seungmin.
“What the fuck did I just say?” Jisung asks.
“You told him you’re off at eight.” Seungmin smiles.
Jisung falls to the ground, his legs not able to hold him up. He puts his head in his hands and stares at the floor.
“Uh, excuse me, we have things to do. Can you have a crisis after you’re off?” Seungmin flicks Jisung’s forehead.
“No no no no no, this isn’t happening. I’m not supposed to be doing this, I can’t do this.” Jisung mumbles.
“Why not?” Seungmin sighs.
“Be-be-because he’s he’s Minho and I’m me. And I’m what?” Jisung covers his face.
“You’re not gonna ride his dick and put a ring on his finger. Get a grip. You’re just gonna hang out. Probably. I think. I don’t know. Just get up! We have things to do! Chan is making me dinner and I’m not gonna be late because you don’t know how to think before you act!” Seungmin pulls Jisung up off the floor and shoves an empty coffee urn into his hands. “Go wash this!”
Jisung wobbles into the backroom and starts washing the urn. His mind is racing and why did he just tell Minho that he’s off at eight? He’s supposed to be on a date with Felix. Wait, if Felix isn’t on a date with Minho, who is he actually with?
Seungmin brings more dishes to the back to be washed.
“Who’s Felix with then?” Jisung asks.
“Jeongin, Minho’s assistant.” Seungmin answers.
“Wait, you knew?! Why didn’t you tell me?” Jisung splashes water in Seungmin’s face.
“Yah! You didn’t ask!” Seungmin yells, grabbing the sink nozzle and spraying Jisung.
“Ah!” Jisung screams, his face dripping wet. Seungmin cackles and runs to the front.
Jeongin. Minho’s assistant. Is that why Felix was giggling with him at the restaurant? Then where did they go yesterday? Jisung takes a deep breath and tries to focus on his closing duties. Thankfully the rest of the night is slow so they finish up fifteen minutes early. Jisung checks his phone and he has three missed calls from Halmeoni.
“Halmeoni? Are you okay?” Jisung panics.
“Yes, sweetie, your sister is here, she said she’s waiting for you to come home. She needs to talk to you.” Halmeoni sighs.
“Uh, can you tell her to just go home, I have plans.” Jisung answers.
“I tried already, she won’t leave. Just come and tell her to go.” Halmeoni says.
Jisung clenches his jaw, “Okay.”
Jisung follows Seungmin out and sees Minho waiting in the parking lot.
“Have fun!” Seungmin waves and begins walking home.
“Hey.” Minho smiles.
“Hi, uh, I have a problem.” Jisung shuffles his feet.
“Is everything okay?” Minho asks.
“My sister is waiting for me at my grandma’s house. She said she needs to talk to me.” Jisung fidgets.
Minho frowns. Jisung can see the disappointment on his face as he fiddles with the keychains on his car keys.
“I’m not running away again, I swear! I just, I, Halmeoni said she won’t leave. I don’t want to, I just, I -” Jisung stutters.
“No, it’s okay, I get it.” Minho says, softly. “It’s just, I’m going back to the city tomorrow because I have to check on the other restaurants and I won’t be back until Friday to get everything ready for the wedding. Tonight was the only night I could see you.”
Jisung rubs his face, “Fuck, I’m sorry. I just, I do want to hang out, but I have to try and get my sister to leave. I can uhm, maybe I can go visit you in the city? I’m off on Wednesday and Thursday, I can take the bus up and we can hang out.”
Minho blinks.
What the fuck did I just say? Jisung thinks.
“Oh shit, I, uhm, fuck, did I just say that? I uh, fuck.” Jisung starts to walk away, but stops. He turns around to face Minho again, “I’m not gonna run away. I just don’t want you to think I don’t want to spend time with you or that I’m avoiding you or anything like that. I just I, I. I think Seungmin is right and I don’t think before I act. And now I’m just rambling again and oh fuck.” Jisung covers his mouth.
“Okay.” Minho nods.
Jisung blinks.
“I’ll send you my address in the city, come up on Wednesday and we’ll hang out.” Minho smiles.
Jisung swallows and nods his head.
“Can I walk you home?”
Jisung shakes his head, “No that’s too much, you’d have to walk back and get your car again, and that’s just a waste of time, really it’s fine, I’m only five minutes away and I should actually just run home because my sister is probably driving Halmeoni crazy and I - fuck, I’m rambling again. Uhm, I’m gonna go. I’ll see you on Wednesday!”
“Wait!” Minho opens up his passenger door and pulls out a bouquet of pink and yellow tulips. “Here, I uh, got these for you.”
Jisung takes them with shaky hands and holds them close to his chest. He smells each individual flower and smiles sweetly, “Thank you.”
Minho smiles, “I’ll see you on Wednesday. Have a good night.”
“Good night.” Jisung smiles. He turns and begins walking home. His smiles plastered on his face the entire walk. He touches the petals of the flowers, feeling the velvet texture and the butterflies in his stomach flutter.
He walks up the porch steps and opens the door, his smile disappearing once he sees Jisu sitting at the dining table.
“Oh! Are those for me?” Jisu squeals.
“No, they’re mine. What the fuck are you doing here?” Jisung growls. He kisses Halmeoni on the cheek, avoiding her eyes as she smiles at the bouquet in his hands. He walks into the kitchen and pulls out a vase and begins arranging the tulips.
“Who gave those to you?” Jisu asks.
“None of your business. Now what are you doing here?” Jisung asks again.
“I need you to come back.” Jisu says, inspecting her fake nails.
“No thanks.” Jisung crosses his arms and leans against the kitchen counter.
“Sung, I’m not asking, I’m telling you.”
“Su, who the fuck do you think you are?” Jisung laughs.
“I’m your sister. It’s time for you to stop being a little brat and come back and fix the mess you left.” Jisu bites.
Jisung sees red. “The mess I left?”
“The European office is drowning.” Jisu rolls her eyes.
“It was thriving when I was there. But wait, who cut me out of the family business? Oh right, you.”
“Then go fix it.” Jisu glares.
“Again, who do you think you are? You think you can just waltz back in here and demand things and get your way? You know that’s not how life works, right? Maybe not, because you’re appa’s golden child and he gives you everything you ask for. You and Appa truly are the same. Just going around demanding whatever you want.” Jisung laughs.
“I need you to come back and fix things. Han Corp is drowning. This is our legacy, Jisung.” Jisu pleads.
“No. It’s your legacy, not mine.”
“We are twins! It’s just as much yours as it is mine!” Jisu yells.
“And where was that mentality a year ago?! Huh? Where were you when I got locked out of all the systems and security had me physically removed from the building? Where were you when I was told I had twenty four hours to move out of my apartment?! Where were you when I had my funds drained because you set me up and said I was stealing from the company?! Where were you, Jisu?!” Jisung screams.
Jisu stares at him wide-eyed.
“Oh, don’t act like you didn’t know.” Jisung laughs. “I saw your name on the paperwork. You left me to fend for myself in a foreign country. I sold everything I had and packed a duffel bag and flew back to Korea, just for security at your fucking mansion tell me they don’t even know who I am.”
“You left me.” Jisu cries, tears streaming down her face. “You left for London and left me here with appa.”
“Did you think I wanted to go to London? Jisu, I had no choice. I called you every single day for a year. Then every week after that for another year. Most of the time I got sent to voicemail or left on read. Until eventually your number no longer worked and I only ever saw you for business meetings over a video call. You cut me out, don’t twist this around.” Jisung’s hands are shaking.
“That’s not fair! You know I was under a lot of stress and Appa had me going around to meetings everywhere! He told me you never wanted to talk to me and that you resented me. What was I supposed to do?” Jisu screams, tears running down her face.
“I don’t know, maybe talk to me?! Did you ever think to do that, Su? Maybe when I left a long ass message to your assistant begging you to talk to me, you should have talked to me?” Jisung yells.
“I was young and stupid.” Jisu pouts.
“We’re the same fucking age! I was scared too, Su! I was all alone in London, I had to make new friends and new connections all by myself. And then all of them turned their backs on me when you came out with that fake article that I was stealing from the company! How could you do that to me? I’m your brother! I’m your twin! I was supposed to be your best friend!” Jisung wipes his eyes.
“Sung, I’m so sorry.” Jisu cries.
“You think I don’t know who told appa I was gay?” Jisung’s voice cracks.
Jisu covers her face.
“You outed me, Jisu. You were supposed to be my best friend, and you told my one secret.” Jisung wipes the tears from his face.
“Jisu, I think it’s time for you to go home.” Halmeoni says.
Jisu stands and wipes her face, “Jisung, I’m sorry.” She walks past Halmeoni and out the front door.
Halmeoni wraps her arms around Jisung and he finally lets out the sob he’d been holding in. He feels the weight he’s been carrying on his shoulders lift and he shakes in Halmeoni’s arms.
“I’m proud of you for standing up to her. You’ve come so far, Jisungie.” Halmeoni cries.
“Thank you for not giving up on me.” Jisung sobs.
“Oh I could never.” Halmeoni squeezes him. “Who gave you the pretty tulips?”
“Minho hyung.” Jisung laughs.
“I thought he was on a date with Felix.”
Jisung shakes his head, “I assumed he was, but he wasn’t. I was supposed to hang out with him tonight, but Jisu was here. I told him I’d visit him in the city on the days I’m off this week.”
Halmeoni pulls away and smiles, “Oh good. I was about to yell at that little blonde haired boy for doing that to you.”
Jisung laughs, “Halmeoni!”
Halmeoni pulls him close again, “I just want you to be happy, my baby.”
Jisung hugs her tight, “Me too. I think I’m getting there.”