Chapter Text
Martyn left.
Two weeks before the wedding, Ren was faced with a letter, neatly kept in an envelope.
He wasn’t paying attention to the piece of paper, though. He couldn’t help but keep his eyes on the figure who stood before him, face pale and stern.
The king wanted to ask, he wished so badly to hear Martyn make up an excuse and make him believe that it wasn’t his fault that the only person he ever cared about was leaving him. But he knew he didn’t deserve it. After what he did to him, after what he was about to force him to go through, he wouldn’t dream of getting any fabricated closure from him.
Why would Martyn want to stay? Ren confessed to him knowing well that he couldn’t build a proper relationship with him, and Martyn returned his feelings . They spent the night joined together, connected in a way he never thought was ever going to happen, and now he’s expecting him to watch him get married to another woman? What an Idiot.
So he stayed quiet, giving him a silent nod of acknowledgment as he finished reading the neatly written letter. The lines were blurred together in his memory.
There were no words exchanged between them. Martyn gave him a deep bow before he left the king’s study, closing the door so gently that it didn’t make a sound as though he just vanished from the room.
He was nowhere to be seen by the next day.
That’s why, on his wedding day, Ren had never felt so alone in his life, standing in front of a bunch of witnesses as his betrothed stood by his side, reciting words he had practiced for a week now while putting on yet another act of a joyous man.
He can’t bear the thought of making Martyn stand through this ceremony. It is better this way. He took a risk and he’s dealing with the consequences.
He can only wish that this guilt will disappear with time.
“You’re awake,” he heard a familiar voice breaking the silence in his chamber.
Ren turned his head from the window, giving his wife a tired smile, “Don’t mind me,” he softly said.
The red-haired woman sat up on the bed, a frown on her face. “Ren.”
The king didn’t reply, watching the night view of his blooming garden stretched before his room. The King hasn’t been sleeping well recently. He'd quietly pace around the room in the middle of the night, trying to get himself to sleep without waking the new Queen up.
“Ren, we need to talk.”
“Go to sleep, Cleo,” Ren replied, not looking back at her.
Cleo took a deep breath and for a second, Ren was sure that Cleo was going to drop the attempt to probe.
However, unfortunately for him, Cleo is not one to let things go so easily.
“It’s him, isn’t it?”
The question felt like a blade through his heart. He immediately looked at his wife who had a knowing look on their face. Ren crossed his arms nervously, ears alert. “How did you know?”
“I did my homework,” Cleo said, sighing. “A man who spent his entire youth serving his king? Both were rarely seen apart? Not to mention that the King was known to refuse all marriage proposals. I don’t think you were being subtle at all.”
Ren averted his gaze, looking at the floor beneath him. So she knew this whole time? She understood that he was just using her to his political advantage. Ren clenched his fists on his sides, tense. “I’m sorry,” he softly muttered.
Cleo shook their head, “Just wished you’d confide in me. Look- we both know we don’t love each other… romantically, ” A little taken aback by what was said, Ren’s eyes moved to look at Cleo, “But I still want us to be friends, you know…?”
He couldn’t deny it; Cleo was right. Even though they’re not in love, nothing is stopping them from forming a different type of relationship. Ren felt so dumb for thinking that he had to build a barrier between him and Cleo, she is clearly smart enough to be open about scenarios such as this one.
Ren walked towards the bed again and sat on the edge, taking a deep breath and sighed. “You’re way too observant, you know that, right?” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.
“Well, have you considered that you’re just easy to read?” Cleo smirked, teasing the king. “Tell me more about him?”
He couldn’t dodge the question. Something about Cleo just makes it hard for him to lie. Ren climbed back to his spot on the bed and leaned back against his pillows, looking at his spouse with a softened gaze from his tired eyes. “I’ve been having dreams. And- And it’s strange because it was never a thing before! It’s just, lately, I’ve been seeing him.”
Cleo hummed, “How long has it been happening?”
“Around three months now?” He answered, trying to recall. “The first time it happened was around a month after our wedding.”
“Were they the same dream, or?”
Ren nodded, “Every single time,” he answered. “It's tiring. They felt so real, and I swear I can still recall the faux warmth every waking moment.” He turned his head to see Cleo staring at him as if she was waiting for Ren to keep talking.
Ren looked away, rubbing his own hand for comfort. “I… I’ll tell you more about it someday. Would that be alright?”
The bashful look on Ren’s face gives Cleo a hint or two about what the dream might’ve been. She rolled her eyes playfully, going back to her sleeping position. “Bet it’s about sex.”
“It’s- It’s definitely not!”
“You’re a bad liar, you know that? If you need to deal with this wet dream of yours, I would appreciate it if you do it in a different room,” They chuckled, clearly having the time of their life teasing the king.
Ren groaned and laid back on the bed, pulling the blanket up to cover his face, “We’ll talk about this in the morning. Good night .”
“Sleep well, Ren,” Cleo replied in a mocking tone. It sent some sense of comfort to Ren, warming him up enough for him to have to bite back a laugh.
He was able to sleep better that night as if some weight had finally been lifted.
Ren never expected Cleo to fit right in this kingdom, taking up her role and perfecting it effortlessly.
Years passed in what felt like seconds. Having a friend that he can trust and rely on has been very beneficial to Ren’s mental state; with Cleo’s help in managing trades and alliances, The kingdom is shown to be growing more and more prosperous by the day. The people love her like she’s the queen that they’ve all been waiting for.
Ren was reading in the garden with Cleo by his side, basking in the warm sunlight together after they had done their duties for the day. The last days of summer seem to be drawing near, the days are getting colder and the leaves are starting to shift colors ever so slightly.
“Hey, Ren?” Cleo slipped their bookmark on the page they were reading before they closed their book.
“Yes, love?” Ren replied, causing Cleo to roll their eyes at the nickname.
“I’m thirsty, I’m going to get something to drink. Want anything?”
Ren closed his book and immediately stood up from the bench, placing his novel on his seat. “No, you stay here and I’ll get you that drink, okay? Lemonade, isn’t it?”
“You know me,” Cleo nodded, resuming their previous reading.
The garden isn’t that far from the kitchen, it is very convenient for warmer days like these where the weather is perfect for sunbathing.
As he made his way to the kitchen, he heard a small group of people chatting on the other side of the wall. Before he could make his presence known, he overheard something that made him stop in his tracks.
“It’s good that King Ren found the queen. It’s almost like how he had Martyn the way they spend most of the day together.”
“He looked very lonely before the wedding. I’m glad the queen can fill Martyn’s role as well.”
Ren smiled to himself, gazing in the direction where Cleo was sitting. He didn’t know his staff would be this observant of his own well-being! But that feeling of comfort immediately disappeared when he heard how the conversation shifted focus.
“Isn’t it weird, though? The King said Martyn left by his own will, but why would he even leave? He loved his job!”
“That’s what I was saying! Isn’t it weird that he also left just before the king’s wedding?”
Ren didn’t even notice that he was frowning, his heart was threatening to jump out of his throat. Why are they talking about Martyn now out of all times? How much do they know about this situation?
The memories from that day played before his eyes; the cobbled walls, the dim light from the lantern, the scent of ink from the papers he was writing, Martyn handing him a resignation letter and leaving without a word. He wasn’t lying when he said that Martyn left by his own will, was he? And it makes sense that he would leave before his wedding! He can’t even begin to imagine how painful it would be to be faced with the reality that you truly can’t have the person you love the way you want them.
“They used to be close, right? Isn’t it also weird that they haven’t exchanged any letters in the three years Martyn has been away?”
“Well… Maybe they have been exchanging letters secretly. Which just makes things even more suspicious, don’t you think?” The person sighed, “If only Mumbo would talk.”
Mumbo?
“Yeah! He helped Martyn with his resignation letter, he must know what happened.”
The topic didn’t last long, they decided that the price of eggs was more interesting to discuss than Martyn’s whereabouts.
Ren clenched his jaw, walking back to the bench thinking I must talk to Cleo about this .
“Cleo, you won’t believe what I just learned.”
The queen looked up with a confused look, “Where’s my lemonade?”
“Mumbo?” Cleo took a sip of her lemonade, watching as Ren paced around their bedroom while she laid down on their couch. “Was he close to Martyn?”
“If I recall correctly,” Ren affirmed without sparing a glance at the queen. He brought his hand to his mouth, biting on his thumb as his brain ran through multiple scenarios. “But how can we make him talk? Do we blackmail him? Threaten him? Oh, maybe we can pretend to be Martyn’s distant cousin and get him to tell us his secrets!”
“ Or ,” Cleo placed her empty glass on the table, “We can just ask him. You’re the King after all.”
Ren stopped walking and looked at Cleo. They stared at each other for a second.
“Or we can just ask him! I’m the King after all!”
Cleo huffed a laugh and rolled her eyes upon seeing Ren’s beaming smile. He really is an easy one to amuse. “Well, do we know if he’s on duty today? The faster we can talk to him the better.”
Ren looked at the clock ticking across the room, “He should be in the archives right now. Should we actually confront him now ?”
“What, you don’t wanna find out more about your little boyfriend as soon as possible?” Cleo scoffed, getting up from the couch. “Come on, Ren. Let’s find our first lead.”
The archive room is located near the king’s study. Ren stood in front of the heavy door, staring at the handle as he tried to compose himself. The only thing keeping him from the truth, from Martyn’s whereabouts, is a single question. As sure as he was when he made his way to this place, he noticed just now how scary it actually is to learn more.
What else could’ve happened? Martyn left because he hates Ren because he can’t fulfill his promise to him, what else is new? Of course he wouldn’t write to him, why would anyone want to keep in touch with someone that used them?
“On a second thought,” Ren turned around, facing Cleo behind him, “I think I will leave this case! I already knew why he left, so I don't need to waste our time with this conversation!” He said, walking away from the door.
Cleo placed their hand on Ren’s shoulder, holding him back. “Ren. It’s one thing to speculate and another to actually learn the truth. And I know that’s what you’re truly scared of.”
Ren took a deep breath, crossing his arms. “It’s been three years, Cleo,” he muttered. “Do you even think he still thinks about me? He left me, and I’m sure he has all the right reasons to leave anyway. I-I just-”
“You just don’t want to hear it firsthand.”
Ren tightened his hold around himself, frowning. “He would’ve told me if he was ill, or if he had to take care of a family member, or if he had grown bored of this job! I can already predict what Mumbo is going to tell me, so-”
Cleo squeezed Ren’s shoulder firmly, her eyes looking right into Ren’s. “I’ll be by your side. You’ll be fine, Ren.”
The two of them didn’t say anything, Ren looked away from Cleo’s eyes for a second before he looked back at her. He placed his hand on top of hers, gently stroking the back of it with his thumb to comfort himself. “...You’re right. Sorry for making things harder.”
“I think what you’re meant to say is ‘thank you for putting up with my cowardice’ and to that, I will say you’re welcome .” Cleo smiled at Ren and led him to the archive door, letting him finally push it open.
Ren jumped upon facing Mumbo who seemed to be making his way out of the room, which seemed to have startled the steward as well.
“Gosh- Your majesty! I didn’t expect to see you here! Pardon me, I must look like a mess. Is there anything I can help you with?” Mumbo asked, patting down his shirt and trousers as he spoke.
Ren looked at Cleo who gave him the ‘go ahead’ look. He straightened his back, gathering his courage to ask. “Mumbo, I have heard that you assisted Sir Martyn with his resignation letter. Is this true?”
Mumbo’s face turned from startled to dread. “That’s- uh-” he began stammering, his eyes avoiding the king’s gaze but he quickly gave in. “That’s… correct, your majesty. Is something the matter?”
“Did he… Did he confide in you about what caused him to resign?” Ren asked, feeling that lump back in his throat.
Mumbo fiddled with his fingers as though he was trying to construct an answer. He sighed heavily and, finally, looked the king in the eyes. “He did. Furthermore, I was the one who-” he paused for a moment. “Wait, forgive me for asking but did he tell you, your majesty?”
Ren was embarrassed to admit, but he shook his head nonetheless.
“So… So you don’t know.”
“Can you please just- just tell me?” Ren asked, rapidly losing his composure over the piling anxiety.
Mumbo took another deep breath, muttering something under his breath. Before Ren could ask him to repeat what he just said, Mumbo spoke, “The queen knows about the relationship you had with Sir Martyn, I assume?”
Cleo nodded, gesturing for Mumbo to continue speaking.
“Well, sir. Martyn left because he’s…” Mumbo looked away from the other two, “He was pregnant.”
Mumbo wrote an address to Ren; supposedly where Martyn now resides. The steward said he lives in an old cabin up in the mountains in a small village right by the border of their kingdom and a neighboring kingdom.
Ren kept looking at the piece of paper, still not fully comprehending the information that was relayed to him.
Martyn was pregnant.
Martyn was carrying their child.
That child should be three years old by now.
Ren has a child out there and he didn’t even know until this afternoon.
The thoughts kept coming to his head, repeating over and over to the point where he felt sick. What is he supposed to do now? Go after Martyn, apologize for not being there to support him and their child, hand him a bunch of money, and return to the castle? Pretend that all of this never happened and continue his life as an incompetent king who overly relies on the queen?
He then felt a pair of cold hands holding his face. That was when he realized Cleo was standing in front of him.
“H-Huh? Did you say something?” Ren asked, his voice shaky.
“I asked you if you’re alright. You’re so pale.”
Ren only noticed now that his hands were shaking. He took a deep breath, trying to speak but he shut his mouth again before he shook his head. “No. I- I’m not okay.”
“Let’s take a seat first. How does that sound?” Cleo gently asked.
Ren nodded and sat down with Cleo on their couch. The queen rubbed circles over Ren’s back, which seemed to have calmed the king down. He looked at the paper in his hand, reading the address over and over. “Would he even like being visited by me?” He asked.
“Well, if I were him, I’d want you to leave me alone because it’ll be harder to let go of you after that. Just a guess,” Cleo shrugged.
Ren pursed his lips. Cleo is right. Would he even be able to keep doing what he’s doing if he decided to meet Martyn? Meet his child? Why would he even risk getting too attached to them?
He looked outside the window, seeing the bright moon shining upon them and it was almost as if he could feel Martyn’s warmth next to him again, clinging onto him while he was staring at the moon through the window on that one autumn night.
He wants to see him one more time.
“Cleo, can you cover me for a week or so?”
At dawn, Ren climbed out of his room from the window, avoiding any castle staff that might be on duty in the halls at this hour. He had done this a lot in the past, sneaking out of the castle to spend the night in the local tavern.
Once his feet reached the ground, he pulled the rope that helped him down and loosely rolled it together.
Ren looked around the area, staying as quiet as he could be so he could tell if anyone was near. But things seemed safe, so he made his way to the walls and used the rope to help him climb over the castle gate. His heart is pumping so fast with the adrenaline that runs through his system.
He’s actually doing this.
Ren landed on the other side safely, collecting his rope and rolling it neatly as he ran away from the perimeter of the castle.
He took another look at the paper that Mumbo gave him and kept it in his pocket. It’ll be a long way to go, but he has a week and that should be enough.
With his hood up, Ren walked through the streets of the town, greeting the shop owners who were getting ready for the day.
“Sir, wake up. We’re stopping here.”
Ren was shaken by an older guy. He stretched his body and rubbed his eyes, finally awake on a wagon that he managed to join. He climbed out of the cart and helped the merchant bring his items to his shop.
“Thanks for the ride, sir!” He said, handing him a small pouch of coins before he left.
Ren spent 2 days hitchhiking and walking to finally get to the gates of this village. It’s pretty far from the rest, with the forest making them seem even more secluded than how they already are, but it is a nice place.
He walked down the cobbled streets, going through the bustling market. The sun isn’t too high up yet, and the cold mountain air makes the walk very pleasant. He would be all relaxed if it weren’t for the sole reason why he’s here in the first place.
There were people chatting and children running and laughing, chasing each other through the crowd. If his child is three, they might be too young to be playing with these children. They might beg to be allowed to play with the bigger kids but Ren would say no because their little legs wouldn’t be able to catch up to them. To make up for it, he would spend the day playing with his child-
Ren sighed, feeling like a fool for imagining such a scenario.
At the end of the market, he followed a dirt path leading up to a quieter part of the village. There’s a river streaming down next to the path, the water is clear and Ren could see the tiny fish swimming about.
A paper boat caught his attention, floating with the flow of the steam. Must be one of the kids , he thought, smiling to himself.
As he continued to walk, he saw a small boy running by the river, a… dog hybrid. His tiny arms reached out as he ran past Ren. “It’s going so fast!” He cheered, his tail wagging so fast with his attention focused on the paper boat.
With his eyes on the river, he didn’t pay attention to the tree roots on the ground, causing the small puppy to trip and fall. Ren’s heart dropped and he rushed to help, his face painted with concern and fear. “Are you alright?” He asked, helping the boy up from the ground.
He noticed that his knee and chin were scraped. At first, the boy was quiet. He looked at Ren, looked at his knee, and blinked a few times before he began to wail, crying loudly as he reached out for a hug.
Ren, of course, panicked. He doesn’t know what to do now! A little kid is hurt and is now crying! He looked around, trying to find any sign of another adult that might’ve accompanied the kid. “Hey, it’s fine. It’s just a little scratch! Where’s your house? I’ll take you there, hm?” He cooed, gently picking him up, carrying him in his arms.
The little kid seems to slightly calm down, enough to point in the direction where he ran from. “I-I want Papa,” he managed to say quietly.
“I’ll take you to Papa, don’t you worry,” Ren smiled, looking at his reddened face and wet cheeks.
He let the little boy cry on his shoulder as he walked up the hill, following the dirt path. While he was walking, he would spare some glances at the little kid who seemed to have calmed down along the way.
His messy hair is brown, shoulder length. Same color with his tail and his fluffy ears. His eyes remind him of the frozen pond at the beginning of spring, where they begin to crack and come back to life after a long freezing winter. He has a certain suspicion that this child must be-
“ Luan! ”
Ren jumped when he heard a loud voice behind him. The pup’s ears perked up and he lifted his head from Ren’s shoulder.
“ Papa! ” He called back, patting Ren’s body to ask to be let down.
Ren’s body froze, recognizing that voice very well even through these years. He could hear that person run up to him and he couldn’t gather the courage to turn around to face him.
“Oi, let my kid go!” That same voice demanded, grabbing Ren’s shoulder, forcing them to finally face each other.
And Ren was right. In front of him stood a blond man, staring at him with a terrified look on his face, and yet he still looked so pretty with his half-up braided hair that he must’ve been growing out. His body looked more or less the same if not more buff.
They were just standing there, staring at each other. It wasn’t until the little boy struggled in his arms that Ren even remembered to give him back to his papa.
The little boy immediately let go of his hand to run after Martyn, leaping into the man’s arms, clutching tight onto his shirt. Martyn held him close, though he was still looking at the king standing ahead of him.
“Why are you here?” Martyn finally asked, his terrified face turned into confusion and anger.
“I could ask the same question,” Ren replied, still trying to process everything. Martyn opened his mouth to say something, but Ren spoke up first, “Is he mine?”
The question lingered for a moment. Martyn shifted the puppy in his arms to carry him in a more comfortable position, pressing a kiss on his head as the small hybrid shyly took a peek at Ren. He looks so tiny in Martyn’s toned arms.
“And what if he is?”