Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

With a cocky grin upon her face, Akane danced from rooftop to rooftop on a mission, headed for the Nekohanten. Pure unbridled power coursed through her, and what better use was there for it beyond settling her old grudges? For too long Ranma's indecision had clouded his heart and stopped him from removing the obstacles in the way of their love, but she had no such concerns.

With a casual flick of the wrist, she sheared a light post out of the ground as she jumped by it, and before she landed she cast it like a javelin across town and into the heart of Okonomiyaki Ucchan’s, shuttering the business for good. Giggling with glee she hefted up an empty truck like it was made of paper, similarly casting it off towards Kodachi’s vile lair. Those two required no elegant touch or personal intervention, they would realize they were outmatched and surrender out of wisdom.

But it was Shan Pu and her great grandmother who would have tried to fight, challenged Akane's martial superiority instead of bowing down. 

Though admittedly, Akane wouldn't have had it any other way. She'd craved this fight for a while. Her final leap rocketed her into the air, causing her to perform a three-point landing in a crater of her own creation just outside the dreaded Cat Cafe. 

“Come out and face me Shan Pu!” Akane shouted, the mere passage of her voice shattering glass and rattling walls. “It's high time I make good on my kiss of death!”

She started tapping her foot as she waited, sending tremors through the ground. She could sense the offending Amazons were just inside, cowering in place, and they had until the count of ten before she simply ripped the building off of its foundations and tossed it out of the way. 

Impatience was winning out however, and as time ticked away she preemptively tensed her glorious muscles. Akane sighed as her count neared nine, the mere act accidentally kicking up dust devils behind her. 

But before the last grain of mental sand came to rest at the bottom of the hour glass, a purple haired warrior and her crone kicked down the door to their own restaurant, proudly sauntering forth with unreasonable confidence. They didn't know what punishment awaited them in retaliation for the years they'd spent ruining Akane's love life, but she was going to dole it out swiftly.

“Glad to see you finally showed up to face me, woman to woman.” Akane said, dropping into a battle stance that would have given her the leverage to lift mountains were it necessary. 

“Woman?” Shan Pu asked, her stern expression cracking until she was a laughing giggling mess, her great grandmother joining in the mockery. “I do not see a woman, do you see a woman?”

Akane's whole body twitched, and in a flash she raced towards the fight, her blood roaring a demand that her foes take back their words and taste utter defeat, but Shan Pu did not even flinch. She reached behind the door frame and produced a floor length mirror, forcing Akane to see the monster that she was.

Reflected in its silvery pane was Akane, her face covered in long wiry hairs that jutted out from her scraggly and unkempt mountain man beard. Shock overtook her, her whole body tried to lock up, and she crashed through the mirror flailing wildly.

The sudden force of her body hitting the ground dragged Akane back into consciousness. Still firing neurons left her body twitching slightly as she frantically pawed at her face. Thankfully she found no strange hairs, and her irrational panic slowed. 

It was just a dream and nothing more. She hated how often her dreams were plagued by recurring nightmares of the chaos that surrounded her life, but the super soba nightmare was one of the worst, if only because it always briefly offered her feelings of hope and glory before it crushed her under the gross feeling of her body changing. She hated the parts about growing facial hair, sure, but before that happened there was also always the oily sweat that formed on her increasingly rough skin or those unending feelings of frustration that put her on edge and always had her lashing out at everyone close to her. Then again the dream she’d had tonight could also have been worse too, the super soba dream at least didn't usually ruin her entire day like the one about being trapped as a doll.

She grumbled as she pulled herself up off the floor, her eyes drifting briefly to her alarm clock and its buzzing red reminder that it was barely three in the morning. She needed to go back to bed, she still had classes to deal with today, and if she wanted to get into a good university next year she couldn't afford to let bad dreams mess up her school days.

But she wouldn't lay down yet. She wanted a glass of water first, and maybe needed to wash her face just to make sure she definitely didn't have any lingering whiskers hiding where she couldn't feel them. Until she made absolutely sure she was okay, that lingering sensation was going to nag at her.

Akane pushed her way out of her bedroom, stifling a yawn as she walked past the hallway lined with the noises of her slumbering family. Nabiki muttered of an impending real estate market collapse in her sleep, silent Kasumi's tiny snores were drowned out by the white noise of her walkman that still valiantly tried to play her metal music on its dying battery, and from the Saotomes’ room Mrs. Saotome’s audible fantasies of a simpler life struggled to compete with the output of a snoring panda. All was normal and in its place, at least, except for any sign of Ranma.

That wasn't particularly unusual, though. When Ranma wasn’t sleeping in too late and always running the risk of being late for school, he was up well before dawn fitting in workout after workout with a dedication Akane had to admit she envied. Of course, that same training also usually led to him wasting the middle of the day napping, so it obviously came with pros and cons that Akane wasn’t going to bother counting. Jogging before breakfast and working out before dinner was good enough for her. Whatever he was doing didn't really matter either way, Akane just needed to descend the stairs, round the front of the house, and head towards the bathroom.

Before she could make her way inside, however, she was stopped by the clear signs that the bathroom was occupied. Light filtered out through the crack under the door, and she could hear a loud and obnoxious whirring emanating from within. Thankfully that just meant Ranma was inexplicably shaving in the early morning, and she didn't have to wait on him. 

Sliding the door open, Akane walked inside the outer bath and was treated to the sight of Ranma in his underclothes holding one of those epilator things to his face. He very rapidly caught sight of movement in the mirror and whipped around to face her suddenly out of shock, prompting Akane to laugh.

“Oh ha ha, very funny! Ain't you ever been taught ta knock?!” Ranma spoke barely above a harsh whisper, which was an admirable amount of restraint for someone who didn't usually mind waking the whole house by accident. 

“You were just shaving, I didn't think it was a big deal.” Akane shrugged, not really sure what his issue was. He could have kept going if he wanted to, she wasn't going to complain. In fact he needed to, since he was clearly only half done, the right side of his face still sporting long wiry strands of very unflattering facial hair. “I’m sure you'll survive splitting the bathroom with me.”

“That’s not my point!” Ranma complained as Akane pushed past him and turned on the faucet, washing her face “Hey, watch the backsplash! I can't get the hair out if it ain't there.”

Akane rolled her eyes but turned the lukewarm water off regardless, its purpose already served. Still occupying the space directly in front of the mirror, Akane tilted her head left and right, running a finger along her blessedly still smooth skin to feel around for any unusual hairs of her own. Thankfully the dream was just a dream, the soba continued to have no long term effects, and she could rest easy.

“Why do you care anyway? Too scared to grow a mustache?” Akane laughed, but it wasn't really too much of a joke. Plenty of their classmates were starting to deal with facial hair in earnest, and here Ranma was fretting over just a few innocent whiskers.

Whiskers…

“Like I even could. I musta inherited some bad genes from one of my grandpas or something, I just grow this mess.” Ranma gestured at his face, his reflection showing utter contempt for the situation. “Not that I'm complainin’ about it being so thin—I’d rather not have any of it—but it's the principle of the thing, ya know?”

“I'll have to take your word for it.” Akane sighed, stepping to the right as Ranma got back to his chosen task, glaring at each and every hair as he hunted it down and plucked it. There was an intense focus about him as he went, his eyes tracing his reflection to ensure that not a single hair was spared his wrath. For a moment Akane read his continued scowl as an all too human admission of pain, but the fact that it continued even when the epilator was pulled away from his body told her that this was a far deeper resentment, a hatred of the wavy bits of protein he'd been cursed with. Akane actually did understand that, she'd just made many of the same faces at herself, at least in her dreams. “Is there a reason you’re doing this in the middle of the night, though? What if I needed to use the bathroom?!” 

Akane glared at Ranma more for emphasis than anything else, though all that did was make him look away from her and focus back on his task, trying to blot her out. Come to mention it, she didn’t actually remember ever seeing him bother to shave at all. Sure, his dad rarely needed to do it either, but it was weird that they’d known each other for two years before she found him secretly clipping hairs like they were some dark shame. 

“I can take a break if you gotta do somethin’ ‘Kane, I ain’t in a rush or anything… I just…” Ranma sucked down air, conspiratorially aiming his eyes at the reflection of the still slightly ajar door in the mirror. “We gotta swim today, ya know? Or at least I do. I dunno if they’ve finally given you some kinda medical exemption, but I ain’t so lucky.”

“And?” Absent any more context, Ranma’s excuse made everything make even less sense, lately if that had been a problem he would have just spent the whole school day as a girl, and then his face would be clean and smooth all on its own. 

“And I gotta shave more than just my face.” Ranma hissed, his eyes briefly darting to his bare arms and legs. Akane had to hold back another chuckle at the idea that simple vanity was forcing him to hide the fact that his girl side grew hair just like every other girl. It wasn’t like anyone expected him to actually conform to any beauty standards or anything, no matter how naturally pretty he was. “That and, well I don’t want mom ta know. I’d hate for her to think this is unmanly behavior.” 

He shuddered and Akane nodded in unfortunate understanding. Even now that Mrs. Saotome knew about his curse, she could still be a little weird and cagey about it, especially if Ranma was wearing it around longer than he had to. Akane was pretty sure the seppuku threat had passed though, her son had been manly enough to save her life, if she expected any more manly or heroic than that she couldn’t ever be satisfied. 

“Alright Ranma, do what you need to.” Akane said as she turned away from the scene and started walking towards the door, allowing Ranma to resume his business in earnest as she yawned once more. “I’m going back to bed, I hope you manage to do the same soon.” 

“Oh, you get ta bug me about what I’m doin’, but I don’t get to know why you bothered to interrupt me?” Ranma’s smug tones would have been off putting months ago, but Akane was finally starting to accept that was just the best way he knew about to get through his thick head and actually show kindness towards her, so instead of getting mad she simply smiled and accepted the concern.

“Nothing serious, I just had a bad dream, that’s all.” 

“Another one?” The sudden softening of Ranma’s words caught Akane off guard, but she’d come to accept this kind of thing too. He could be sweet sometimes, but only after he’d tried being a jerk. “Do you need me to get you somethin’? I could run to the Seven-Eleven, or-”

“Another one. Don’t worry about me, Ranma, keep doing what you’re doing.” Akane closed the door behind her, giving him absolutely no time to try to weasel his way into doing any work for her. She really did appreciate that he cared, but she would have felt terrible if he didn’t actually finish doing what he woke up to do in the first place…

And she absolutely didn’t want him going down to the convenience store with his face only half trimmed. 

Akane's return to sleep had thankfully been quite easy, though the blaring of her alarm shot her upright all the same, entirely dissolving all memory she had of what she hoped was at least a better dream. The start of her day went the same as any other, she donned her jogging clothes and ran out into the early morning sun. Ranma and Genma’s aerial sparring session was well underway by the time the home had faded from view, and was still going strong as she returned and entered the house, just like normal. 

Also like normal, Akane made it to the family table right as Kasumi and Nodoka started serving breakfast, and the revelation that a meal was incoming somehow managed to distract both of the Saotomes fighting outside, causing them to collide mid jump and fall into the family koi pond, whose fish really did not need the abuse. Akane could only sigh as the freshly drenched girl and panda slid inside the home, taking their positions as swiftly as they could so the meal could begin.

Akane started with the chicken salad, appreciating the influx of protein after a strenuous workout, though as she turned to ask Ranma if he wanted any of her eggs, she saw that he wasn't yet able to start eating himself. His mother was busy holding him away from the table, pouring steaming hot water down his back to fix the fact that he was presently a little too short and and a little too feminine for her preferences. As soon as he was able, however, he dove upon the spread of food with haste, making up for lost time in a frenzy that Akane would never understand. She liked getting to enjoy her meal.

Realizing his wife had no plans to restore his humanity, Genma poured the remaining hot water in the spare kettle over himself, already pouting as he returned to normal. Briefly he opened his mouth to complain, but thought better of it, instead turning to strike up a conversation with his old friend.

For the most part, people were simply eating in silence, and Akane hoped it was a sign that she was going to have one of those quiet boring days where nothing especially interesting happened in their lives. That was unlikely though, it was getting about time for Ukyo to try to make a mess of things, for Shan Pu to rope Ranma into something stupid, and if nothing else the fact that Ranma and Akane had to share their classes with the held back star of Furinkan High—Tatewaki Kuno, age nineteen—meant inevitably someone was going to start something. She just had to cherish the peace while it lasted. 

Especially since she had a gut feeling it was about to shatter.

“Ranma.” Kasumi's quiet words still carried across the table with remarkable strength, snapping Ranma to attention the moment he was addressed. “I know I said you could use it, but please remember to put my epilator back when you're done with it.”

A nervous twitch flashed through Ranma as he nodded. Akane knew he was just being weird about his mom, but he had to know that the mere idea of him shaving was pretty normal. Mrs. Saotome would only have questions if he let her know how far he went.

“Sorry Kasumi, guess I was kind of in a rush and I forgot about it.” He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to pretend he was calm even as he telegraphed the opposite. “Won't happen again, I swear.”

“Maybe if you weren't trying to shave right when everyone else needed to use the restroom, you wouldn't have this problem.” Said Nabiki, rolling her eyes, and as much as Akane wanted to back Ranma up, she turned to stare at him in confusion. He should have had at least a couple hours to himself before that should have been a problem. “I really don't know why it takes you so long.”

“J- just tryin’ ta be thorough, that's all. A man can't do anything in half measures, Nabiki.” Ranma fidgeted slightly under the attention, but he picked up confidence as he stared down the person most likely to prolong this topic. Unfortunately he clearly hadn't learned that Nabiki thrived on attention and conflict, and he was only making this more fun for her.

“If you weren't taking half measures you'd find some way to remove it permanently.” Nabiki replied, jabbing her chopsticks in Ranma's direction. “Why don't you just wax like I do? Or is the big man among men too scared of a little pain?”

Mrs. Saotome turned to face her son at the mere accusation, analyzing him for weakness as he prepared his response. Ranma filled a bit of time by hastily draining the last of his miso soup, but he eventually sighed when he realized he was going to have to defend himself.

“The epilator does the same thing, that's not the problem.” Ranma rolled his eyes, clearly wishing the conversation would move on. “Look I'm doin’ the best I can here. Pops didn't exactly give me a lot to work with! It ain't ever gonna look nice, so I just gotta keep plucking it, and that's gonna take time! I can't exactly go ask the old ghoul for some magic white tiger whisker congee that'll make my beard hairs grow and grow until they all fall out!”

“At that point, wouldn't you just want to find something that fills in the beard instead?” Nabiki initially tilted her head in confusion, but it turned to slight revulsion as she likely imagined Ranma with a full and luxuriously maintained beard, and frankly Akane agreed with the sentiment. Personally, she was glad he was keeping it under control. “Actually, scratch that. You’re better off.”

“I’m surprised Ranma has to deal with it at all, Mr. Saotome’s entire head is always so effortlessly hairless.” Kasumi added with a nod of agreement, briefly tapping her chin as she tried to remember the depths to which either Saotome man actually suffered such a thing. “In any case, Ranma, you shouldn’t worry so much. The little whiskers you grow are adorable, don’t you think Akane?”

Put on the spot, Akane immediately forced a smile as Ranma turned to face her. Sure, she could lie and pretend she thought they didn’t look unsightly, but all that would accomplish would be making Ranma feel bad about looking how he wanted, and then they’d both be unhappy. 

“No.” Akane said firmly, though she kept the smile as steady as she could, hoping Ranma would know this was a beacon of support aimed straight for him. “I prefer him without even the whiskers, they just- well they don’t look- they’re unpleasant, okay!”

“Ah, bad memories.” Kasumi sighed solemnly, somehow managing to turn what should have been a simple aesthetic preference Akane was allowed to have into a source of blame.

“You really need to let that super soba thing go, Akane.” Nabiki folded her arms as she leaned back, somehow deciding she could be indignant about this. “Ke Lun gave me free ramen for the rest of my life over Mu Si’s little screw up, you need to learn how to see the bright side of things.”

“Gave you free ramen, for helping him poison me!” Akane complained, narrowing her eyes at the reminder that her own sister would sell her out for a free bowl of noodles every day. “I’m only still alive because he wouldn’t even wear his glasses to pick out the right poison!”

“Or maybe I knew what they were planning, and by helping out I saved your life!” Nabiki smirked, confident that it had been far too long for Akane to truly remember what was true or not, much to her frustration. “You got to feel strong like Ranma for a little while, I got free ramen, it was win-win!” 

“Except for all the terrible parts.” Akane muttered under her breath, not actually eager to give her sister any more ammunition. Having to go through all that really wasn’t worth a day and a half of pure strength, even if she’d enjoyed the start of it, and she wasn’t going to have rose colored glasses about the ordeal. 

“Oh, Akane was much stronger than Ranma, wasn’t she? That was why he was so jealous.” Kasumi laughed into her hand, her warm smile making her seem all too oblivious to the seeds she was sowing. Ranma grumbled something low under his breath, and as much as Akane might have considered comforting or reassuring him, she knew he was just going to take it poorly. 

Yes, she’d been a little cocky and mean while she was on top, but she couldn’t be blamed for that! Some of it was her fault, the thrill of finally getting to feel strong, like Ranma and Shan Pu had to respect her, or that she was the true Anything-Goes heir once and for all was a bit overwhelming, but that was only half of the problem. She felt out of control like that, and she didn’t really know how to explain it. Her thoughts were a little fuzzy, the world just a touch gray, except for when she was throwing herself headlong into a fight! And she got into so many fights, mostly because her pride wouldn’t shut up! Anyone who dared so much as insult her triggered a cascade of emotions that ultimately resulted in her smacking them across town, beating them into the dirt, or at least breaking something around them. 

Well, it resulted in her hitting Ranma anyway, he was mostly the only thing she’d been fixated on at the time. That was his fault though! The moment he thought of her as a threat instead of his friend, suddenly he was cockier than normal, always trying to start a fight because stupid pride couldn’t handle being second fiddle for even a moment, and… 

Akane blinked as a weird thought rolled around her head. It didn’t make sense though, there wasn’t any possible way Ranma suffered from super soba poisoning like she had. He wasn't as strong as she had been, and he wasn't slimy enough to do that anyway, was he? He was always insulting her whenever she benefited from any temporary power boost, and the thought that he was some horrible lying cheating hypocrite sat poorly with her. He had too much of a sense of honor about his own strength to take help like that, especially if it blemished his status as ‘simply the world's most handsome man.’

But what if it wasn't intentional? Akane hadn't known why she was suddenly the strongest thing in Tokyo until Mu Si called frantically, three hours later, apologizing for using the wrong buckwheat additive. Akane didn't see it get made, but if it was something you put in food instead of being part of the food itself, and was so tasteless Akane hadn't noticed she was eating it…

How hard would it be for a ‘caring father’ to sneak it into his own son’s food, in small doses, just to make him strong? Mr. Saotome had a vested interest in turning Ranma into a man among men, and Mrs. Saotome undoubtedly respected strength, the only side effect would have been temperamental issues that were basically ‘manly’ too, and… whiskers.  

Akane shook her head, that was silly. Mr. Saotome wouldn't have done that to Ranma, he usually did have his kid’s best interests at heart, even if he didn't show it, and he wouldn't have subjected Ranma to anything weird or experimental.

Like the nekoken.

Well, even if he was the kind of guy to risk permanently damaging his own son in the pursuit of power, he would have taken it himself, wouldn't he? Mr. Saotome wasn't the kind of guy to let behavioral changes or stray hairs sit between him and power, at least not unless it carried some other hidden downside she didn't know about.

With a heavy sigh, Akane turned her attention back to her food, picking at it as she waited for breakfast to eventually end. She wished she could say thinking about it had cleared all doubts from her mind, freed Ranma or Mr. Saotome of suspicion and allowed her to mentally move on, but it hadn't. Now it was nagging at her, she was stuck wondering if Ranma had been subjected to yet another nonsense thing in his life whose consequences were coming back to haunt him.

There was only one way she was going to excise this weird worry from her mind. She needed to ask Ranma a question or two, privately.

“What’s so important ya had to drag me in here?” Ranma grumbled, tapping his foot in Akane’s room when he probably wanted to be napping until it was time for them to leave the house for the day. It couldn’t be helped, however, she wanted to clear this up before she got stuck thinking about it at school all day and ended up convincing herself of something wildly inaccurate. 

“Ssssh!” Akane hissed as she turned to face the wall that connected her room to Nabiki’s, some part of her still nervous about being overheard by her nosy sister, despite the fact that Nabiki had already left the house to make sure she made it to university on time. “I don’t want anyone to know I’m asking you about this, okay? I want this to just stay between you and me.”

“O- oh. Ak- ‘Kane, ain’t we, this is kinda, are you sure we should be, I mean it’s not that I…” Ranma’s blush was instantaneous, and he visibly swallowed in preparation for more nervous sputtering. 

“I don’t know what you’re thinking about, and I don’t want to know, got it?” Akane folded her arms and scowled at him, taking a few steps away from him before he got any bright ideas and tried to hug her or something, that really wasn’t what this was about. “I just have a couple questions, okay? I want to know a few things about you, nothing serious, I promise.”

“Oh. Yeah, sure, right. You writin’ my biography or something?” The red on Ranma’s face didn’t settle down immediately, but he took the hint and strolled over to the wall and leaned against it, trying to save face by abruptly seeming disinterested in his fiancee. “Anything specific, or do I gotta guess?”

“I’m just worried about you, okay? You’re always putting up with things you don’t deserve, and I wonder if- if-” Akane faltered, trying to figure out how at all to word her simple question. She was allowed to care about him—they’d already crossed that bridge in the past—but there were limits to exactly how much concern he was willing to tolerate, and it differed by topic. “Growing up, do you remember much about the food you ate? Was any of it weird?”  

“Sure, anytime the old man cooked was a disaster, the only person I trust less in the kitchen is you.” Ranma chuckled half-heartedly at his joke. He clearly no longer found the same humor in that sore spot of Akane, and yet he couldn’t just stop making those jokes. She was going to make something he liked eventually, and he would stop altogether, but right now she needed to bite her tongue. They weren’t supposed to be fighting, yet. “Or do you mean like, fun weird? Because pops did like ta take us to restaurants and stuff, usually chasing some supposed ‘magical benefits’ they might have. You got no idea how many weird mushrooms I’ve eaten in my life.”

“I know more than I’d like.” Grumbled Akane, who had been there at least for a couple instances of mushroom shenanigans, but she wasn’t going to focus on the closest she’d ever been to married to Ranma right now, instead she was going to mentally put down a tally mark of evidence that Mr. Saotome absolutely would have dosed Ranma if he could. “And did any of them work?”

“What kinda question is that? You think I’d still be kickin’ around this rundown dojo if that magic money mochi made me wealthy like the guy said it would?” Ranma rolled his eyes, likely biting back an insult about Akane’s intelligence as he tapped his head automatically. “Honestly, the guy deserved me and pops making off with his entire supply. You’d think you could trust a fortune teller telling you to go order the most expensive item at the restaurant across the street, but I guess even they can be runnin’ a grift.”

It was impossible to stop her eyes from twitching, but Akane took a deep breath and tried to minimize just how disappointed she was in Ranma for believing that kind of thing. He was probably six or ten or some other impressionable and foolish age for a kid who didn’t apparently go to school regularly. 

“So none of them worked? You’re positive you’ve never eaten anything that actually made you stronger?” Akane asked, clasping her hands together to bring her caring and concerned act to the next level. “Have you even tried?”  

“What’s that supposed to mean? You tryin’ to find another way to get equal with me?” Ranma smirked as he pushed off the wall, stepping towards her. “I guess there was one thing, but you ain’t gonna find it anymore, I made sure of that.”

“W- what happened? What did you do?!” Akane couldn’t keep her voice down, a sense of betrayal flooding her at the idea that Ranma actually would cheat and take something just to get stronger. After the fit he’d gone through over the soba, after how he played with her emotions all to get her to give up her battle dougi! All because she and Armie insulted his fragile sense of self worth.

“I don’t know where they’re made, but pops got his hands on some gross buckwheat protein shake garbage, promised it’d make me strong or somethin’. I hated them, but he made me drink ‘em for like two weeks straight.” Ranma sighed and shivered at the memory of the incident, but he snapped back to his overconfident normal fairly quickly. “Anyway Ucchan and me found the vending machine he was buyin’ the mix out of, and we filled it fulla gunpowder tempura… Good times. But nah, I don’t think it worked. Wasn’t like I turned into any kinda super strong six year old.”

That sounded like concrete evidence to Akane, whether Ranma understood it or not. She was now almost certain he’d been given some of the same stuff she had, just in lower doses. Ranma might not have noticed he was really strong for a six year old, but Akane also didn’t really understand her own strength while she was enhanced either. And since he was probably just eating tiny amounts of it, it was probably all too easy for him to explain away his strength as just the result of incredible training.

But, it also sounded like he hadn’t agreed to the whole ordeal, or at least didn’t understand what he was getting into. Mr. Saotome doubtlessly avoided actually explaining what he was taking, nor warned him about the whiskers it forced him to one day start being ashamed of, just like her. 

Now all she had to do was politely agree with Ranma, and go ask the other person involved what they remembered, just to be sure. She wasn’t expecting much from Mr. Saotome, especially not integrity or honesty, but if he was willing to admit to it, she could tell Ranma, he’d believe her, and she might even be able to convince him she could get rid of all those pesky hairs.

“I see. So you just naturally got stronger than all the other properly trained martial artists you know, despite the quality of your teacher?” The words slipped out of Akane before she could stop them, far harsher in nature than she’d actually intended, but she supposed they would do. 

“I wouldn’t say naturally, ‘Kane.” Ranma let out a dry laugh before he started walking off, pausing only to glare at her as he opened the door. “No other martial artist I know trained like I did, not even pops!”

He slammed the door shut behind him as he ran off, and Akane simply sighed as she heard him race down the stairs and out the front door as well. She wasn’t trying to run him off! But it wasn’t like a headstart to school was going to hurt him, either. She shrugged and grabbed her own bag before leaving the room herself, but she had one last thing she needed to do before she could follow him to school.

To Akane’s incredible fortune, Mr. Saotome was engaged in quiet meditation in the dojo, preparing himself for a long and arduous day of training and practice. Well that was what he wanted people to believe anyway, he was actually propped up on cleverly hidden pillows, fitting in a quick post breakfast nap where neither his best friend nor wife would bother him. 

She had a bucket of ice cold water in her hand as she approached him, hoping she wouldn’t need to use it just to wake him up. It would work, but she really didn’t want to put up with him communicating via signage, especially since she’d lose out on the all too crucial tone of voice and facial expressions she needed to know exactly how truthful he was being. So for now she was going to calmly set it down, lean forward, and just yell in his ear.

“Sleeping in the dojo?! So unmanly!” Akane shouted using her perfect impression of Mrs. Saotome’s voice, causing the man to leap into the air and cling tightly to the ceiling. He wasn’t going to be able to get mad at her though, because she simply smiled at him, fully intent on pretending that he’d just hallucinated. “You’re so jumpy Mr. Saotome, did you have a nightmare?”

“N- no, certainly not, I’m simply practicing the full range of my leaps.” Mr. Saotome said as he fell back down, folding his arms stoically before he repeated the jump once for effect. “I’d ask if you wanted to join me, but I’m not sure you have time for a rigorous trip around town once I get warmed up. Don’t you have class?”

“I do, Mr. Saotome, but I needed to talk to you first. It’s really important, and it’s about Ranma… it’s kind of a secret…” Akane regretted her choice of words immediately as a radiant joy hit Mr. Saotome. He moved towards the side door of the dojo laughing triumphantly to himself, but before he opened it he stopped and composed himself, leaning back to clarify the situation.

“Akane, you must know you already have my permission to marry Ranma, so is this something… else? Do you need to know what kind of perfume he likes? What kind of restaurant to pop the question at? Well, I’ll have you know he’s a sucker for yakiniku but you have to let him cook it himself, or-” 

“Stop. I’m not asking to marry him.” Akane sighed and shook her head. She didn’t know why the Saotomes always leapt to the most outrageous conclusions whenever anyone started saying anything, but whether it was nature or nurture, Akane didn’t have time for it. She needed to get her questions out and answered. “I need to know if you’ve ever… fed Ranma anything against his will, something he might not have asked for, something that you thought was for his own good.”

“Plenty of times, isn’t that the duty of a responsible parent? If he had his way he’d eat nothing but pizza buns and instant noodles. Oh, it was a lot of work, but at least he finally likes natto.” Mr. Saotome nodded confidently, and for once Akane had to admit, he did actually sound like a normal dad. Of course, that wasn’t actually what she was trying to ask about either! 

“Well, yes, but what if they were possibly harmful to him, but you thought the short term gains were worth the risk of side effects down the line…” Akane nudged the conversation forward, hoping Mr. Saotome would admit to the protein shakes on his own, or the mushrooms, or the mochi, or whatever else Ranma had apparently gone through, it would be a good test of his trustworthiness, she already knew he was willing to do it.

“Akane, food is scarce on the road. You may not understand that—comfortable as you are in your dojo lifestyle—but we couldn’t afford to waste food. So what if it came out of the trash, or I burned it, or it fell on the ground, or Ranma was serving basically raw meat… A true martial artist is prepared to lose even his life for the art, and Ranma knew that.” Mr. Saotome doled out his wisdom solemnly, and Akane fought off the urge to yell at him for putting his own son through even half of that—especially since she knew from Ranma’s retellings that Mr. Saotome usually got the good bits of food they found, at least until Ranma got big enough to start fighting for it.

“That’s… not quite what I meant, Mr. Saotome. I’m thinking more interesting foods, like any magical money mochi, some mushrooms, or some kind of pro-”

“Did the boy put you up to this?! No, those were just normal mushrooms, I had to convince him they’d make him taller to get him to eat them! We couldn’t afford to steal good meat for dinner every night, he had to accept a more varied diet.” Mr. Saotome huffed like his word on the matter was final, and actually had the nerve to start walking away from Akane. Aside from the fact that Akane was now incredibly worried about the tainted mushrooms Mr. Saotome had subjected Ranma to in the past, she still needed an answer to her original question!

“Protein shake! Vending machine! Twelve years ago!” Akane shouted, grabbing him by the wrist to spin him around and stare into his eyes. “What were they?! Were they safe?!”

“W- wha-” Mr. Saotome sputtered, though the worn out cogs in his mind slowly processed her request, and he slapped his temple in understanding after a few moments. “Oh. You aren’t talking about the Super Strength Shakes, are you?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m talking about!” Akane couldn’t help but start frantically shaking Mr. Saotome’s arm, desperately hoping more information would tumble out of him before he found some stupid way to clam up or lie. “Do you have any idea what they were?! What they did?!”

“Of course I did, it was right in the name, Akane! They were supposed to make me super strong! Able to lift buildings one handed, throw cars across town! They even had a superman on the label, I think.” Mr. Saotome laughed, but it slowly died as he shook his head in disappointment, and briefly Akane had to wonder if she’d misunderstood the entire situation. Make him strong?

“Was there something wrong with them, Mr-”

“Terrible! There was a darkness inside of them I almost dare not give name to, a sinister evil befouled each and every can, unknown until you had it sitting and writhing in your hand…” Mr. Saotome was getting theatrical, which was either a very good or very bad sign, but all Akane could do was sigh and let her expression rest as neutrally as possible. “I’d bought two whole weeks worth, all for myself, when I discovered a horrible secret on the warning label. There were side effects Akane, vile and unfathomable, no man in my position would ever dare risk ingesting them…”

“But you gave them to Ranma, didn’t you?” Akane blinked as loud as she could, trying to dispel whatever verbal aura of malice Mr. Saotome was trying to build up around them. She already knew it was just whiskers, it couldn’t have been that bad.

“Well of course. Ranma was young enough to handle the possibility of a receding hairline, but me? Why I barely had any hairs left at the time, I couldn’t risk it!” Mr. Saotome let out another laugh from even deeper in his gut, but Akane could only stand in horror. She had no real way of knowing if that was really a side effect of what she thought Ranma had actually ingested, but then again, she’d seen her own hairline recede in the dream as well, could have sworn she’d lost hairs in the very real fight with Shan Pu she’d had… And if Ranma was suffering from that as well, if he really did go bald…

Akane knew how terrified he was of that eventuality, and she shuddered at the thought of him bald too. He wouldn’t want to run that risk his dad so callously subjected him to, not over some unearned bit of power he didn’t deserve anyway, just like he didn’t like the little hairs he grew. But she could fix it for him! She knew exactly what he needed, those same innocent super soba berries he’d tried to force her to take. All she had to do was sit him down, insist he’d been dosed with a strength enhancing poison, and let him take the berry to be free of everything.

Except of course, he didn’t believe he’d gotten stronger, did he? He thought everything he had was the result of honest training, and he wasn’t going to trust her saying she could cure him, not without proof… but the only way she was going to get that proof was if he took the damn berries in the first place…

So why didn’t she just give him one? It wouldn’t be hard to slip into some kind of bread or bun or something, and then he’d feel the effects, get weaker, have his little hairs fall out, and he’d have to admit that she was right and he was wrong! It was perfectly foolproof, too, since it was just a super soba cure. If she was wrong, he wouldn’t even know he’d taken anything, since nothing would happen.

Akane started laughing along with Mr. Saotome triumphantly as the plan crystallized in her mind, building up intensity until she’d drowned out even her fiance’s ridiculous father who’d set this whole mess in motion anyway. She couldn’t wait to get started and see the smug look on Ranma’s stupid face melt as he apologized profusely for how rude he’d been, right before he wept for joy as he hugged her, thanking her for pulling the wool off his eyes and showing him how his own father had forced him to suffer!

“Thanks Mr. Saotome! I really appreciate it!” Akane said as her laughter finally died down. There was a roaring giddiness in her heart as she continued planning. She needed to figure out what to make, what would complement the subtly sweet flavors of the little berry, but unfortunately actually doing much of anything was going to need to wait until after class. Akane waved at Mr. Saotome one last time, leaned forward, and splashed him with the ice cold water before she ran off.

He may have been helpful, but he still deserved it.

Coasting through school wasn’t difficult these days. In all honesty, Ranma was finally starting to feel like he understood half the crap presented to him. He knew he wasn’t going to graduate well, but he was gonna make it, get that diploma his parents had been so insistent on, and then proudly frame it somewhere nobody would ever see it, since it wasn’t going to be relevant to his future. 

He already knew that as soon as he was tied down and married to Akane they were probably just gonna expect the two of them to start teaching students so the dojo could finally make the families money again. He hadn’t exactly been guided to any other plans or options in his life that weren’t ‘someone’s trophy wife’, however, so he wasn’t too bothered about taking up the mantle. He’d be an instructor, drill some macho men types in the art of actually being able to win a fight with their own two hands, and make enough cash to ensure Akane could do anything else. He’d heard her talking about universities, trying to figure out what she wanted to test for, and while he wasn’t looking forward to the possibility of her ending up hours away in another prefecture… 

He was happy for her. 

Besides, it wasn’t like he really cared about what she did with her life, he didn’t need her around or anything, she was just- well- he didn’t really think he had that many other friends. It was just her, Ukyo, Hiroshi, Daisuke, and maybe Ryoga when he wasn’t pushing the rival thing a little hard. And heck, once the school year ended, he was probably just going to have Ukyo and Ryoga left. He’d survive though, tough out being alone until Akane got her degree or whatever. Then he’d tap out, let her run the school while she figured out how to get her dream job, and… and… 

Well he wanted to think he’d just head out on a training journey, really figure out who he was and what he wanted, but that was kind of a heavy question. He probably had to swim to China and get this Jusenkyo curse thing dealt with, sure, but after that his future was wide open… 

And for some reason that was crushing him.

But he had plenty of time before that mattered, still had direction and purpose at least for a few more years. Until then, he had to keep pretending like he knew where he was going, keep taking notes for tomorrow’s biology test, and keep it together.

The ringing of a bell freed him from at least the second task, and instead allowed his class to head off for lunch. Ranma briefly turned to face Akane, part of him hoping he could get her to at least smile before she ran off with her friends to the roof like normal, but she looked troubled by something, and he was pretty sure he knew exactly what. Sure he’d stormed out of the house, but that wasn’t worth sulking all day over, was it?! He was the one who’d gotten accused of faking the one thing he had to impress her, impress everyone. He was nothing without his strength, she’d told him that herself, and she had the gall to be mad that he took the implication poorly?! 

Ranma huffed and tore his eyes away from her as he stood up to go hang with Ukyo. Sure he could go down the hall to find Hiroshi and Daisuke, but he didn’t want to walk anywhere, and they had girlfriends they were probably busy making eyes at anyway, like chumps. 

“Hope you aren't tryin’ to get free food outta me today, Ranchan.” Ukyo said as Ranma sat across from her, her words poorly masking the smile she had every time Ranma actually hung out with her. “I’ve been feeling a little out of it, so I didn't bother bringing the portable griddle to school.”

A little out of it had to actually be serious if Ukyo was passing up a prime opportunity to work for some extra cash, but Ranma wasn't going to pry. She looked tired more than anything, but that wasn't unusual for the woman who went to school and ran a restaurant most days of the week. 

“You feelin’ okay, Ucchan? The Saotome family’s got herbal remedies for a few things, might make you feel better.” Ranma offered, already running through the list in his head to see if he could whip her up anything with ingredients he could find after school. Then again if she was just tired she'd probably benefit more from a can of coffee or some sleep.

“Thanks, but after the damage I've done to the Saotome family lately, I think I'll pass.” Ukyo turned away from Ranma out of embarrassment as she pulled out her lunch, and Ranma could only sigh. She'd already apologized about destroying his mom's house, and frankly it was mostly Kodachi and Shan Pu’s fault as far as he remembered… “You didn't need food though, right? I probably could spare some rice for ya, or-”

“Nah, mom already took care of me today. She even cut the hotdogs up like octopuses.” Ranma laughed awkwardly, a little off put by being given an overly cutesy lunch, but he supposed his mom was making up for lost time. Still, between that and the panda shaped rice balls, he couldn't help but stare at the bento he was provided, wondering if there was some deeper meaning. She could be touchy about him doing girly things, even now, and he didn't know her well enough to truly know whether this was a test or not. Was he supposed to eat it? Did men eat things put in front of them without questioning it?! Or did she expect him to complain about it when he got home?!

“She treatin’ you okay, sugar? I know she knows about everything now, but you were awful scared of her for a while.” Ukyo poked at her food, eating a lot slower than Ranma had expected—even for a normal person. If she had a lack of appetite, it was possible she was actually coming down with something and didn't know it… 

“Yeah, she's pretty nice actually, honest. I kinda wish I'd known her my whole life.” He wasn't really sure what else to say, especially since Ukyo was fairly estranged from her dad right now—purely to chase after love he really couldn't give her, they didn't have that kind of relationship. “And hey, she rarely ever has the katana on her anymore, I bet she and pops talked my way out of the contract or whatever.”

“Well, I hope she at least apologized to you. I couldn't imagine my own mother treating me like a-”

Before Ukyo could finish her thought, a presence loomed from behind Ranma and cast a shadow over the desk he was eating at. It was good old Kuno, here to make a mess of things like always. 

“Saotome! It is not enough that you have the audacity to try to defile the virtues of fair Akane and the pigtailed girl, you would dare to triple time them with Kuonji?!” Kuno shouted, obviously completely unaware of how his own antics looked, because of course he was such a good man he deserved two girls. 

“I dunno what you got in your head this time Kuno, but I ain't defilin’ a damn thing.” Ranma rolled his eyes and swallowed one of his hotdogs in a rush before Kuno could destroy the table or otherwise screw lunch up for him. “Maybe if you actually knew how ta talk to girls you wouldn't hafta-”

Ranma didn't get to finish his insult. He could feel a bokken on a collision course with his back, and he rolled forward in response, dodging into a handstand on the table that narrowly avoided the top of Kuno’s weapon. A back attack was low, especially for Kuno, but Ranma admittedly did deserve it. Kuno pulled back for another swing, but Ranma simply smirked and sprung off of the table, one hand carrying his lunch up with him.

Kuno’s horizontal follow up would have once again cut air, but Ranma wasn't willing to simply play keep away. He wrapped his legs around the blade, riding its momentum to the end of Kuno's swing. Ranma abruptly used the bokken as a springboard, shoveling a couple rice balls in his mouth to actively taunt Kuno as he sailed once more into the air. When Kuno tried to follow up with a full force jab, Ranma seized the opportunity to run down his wooden, delivering an aerial axe kick that put the oaf at least temporarily down for the count, and left Ranma with enough peace to knock back one more rice ball.

“Thanks buddy, I kinda needed that.” Ranma didn't bother trying not to sneer as Kuno slowly pulled himself off the ground, impotent rage in his eyes. Ranma needed a real fight to take his mind off stuff, but in the absence of one of pops’ old schemes making trouble he supposed beating up Kuno was decent catharsis. “Seriously though, you ain't the worst guy I've met, at least as long as your trap’s shut. I think you could land a nice lady if you really try, just leave m- leave ‘Kane and the pigtailed girl out of it.”

“Got another crush I should be worried about, Ranchan?” Ukyo laughed in the aftermath of the fight, her own lunch fortunately spared any damage. “I'll fight Kuno if I’ve gotta, I just didn't think ya’d make it come to that…”

“Everyone's a comedian today, ain't they?” Ranma sighed to himself as he sat back down. His shoulders tensed as Kuno stood back up, but the man slunk off in defeat, and Ranma was pretty sure he was free of Kuno for at least another couple of hours. “I've been on enough dates with the guy to pick up his weaknesses is all. He'd probably be really sweet if he could actually hold a conversation that wasn't about him.”

“I’ll take your word for it, pigtailed girl.” Ucchan let out a fit of laughter a second time, and all Ranma could do to save face was flatten himself against the desk. “So what does he have that I don't, huh? I'm occasionally taller than you, good with a weapon, we can actually hold a conversation, and I'm at least twice as princely if I do say so myself, and yet I swear you've gone on more dates with him than me...”

“Only if I've gotta use him for something, honest.” Ranma muttered into his arms. “I'm a guy, Ucchan, I'm inta chicks.”

“I'm a girl.”

“Thats not how you just described yourself.” Ranma pulled himself off the desk and grinned, trying to change up who the butt of the joke was, at least temporarily.

“I... Touche.”

Lunch ended without much fanfare, but that simply meant that the thing Ranma had been dreading would finally arrive. Today, they were all going to be expected to swim around in a dinky little pool pretending that it could really represent a credible threat or difficult challenge to anyone except for Akane and maybe Ms. Hinako. Ranma had lived with it long enough that he really didn’t mind having to splash himself into a girl before marching down to the nurse’s office to change into a simple one piece where the other boys couldn’t gawk at him, but he did mind the recent twist his third year had brought. Not-quite-so-upperclassman Kuno had been an annoyance in years past, but now Ranma had to be prepared to endure him actively leering.  

But after Kuno’s most recent beating—the heel print of which Ranma could make out in his face—he seemed to be keeping his distance, content to swim as instructed alongside everyone else. Ranma wasn't content to just swim simple laps though, he still had some steam he needed to work off, and he needed to stick as close to Akane as possible as she once more tried to learn to be anything other than a heavyweight hammer, so he was running his laps at full speed. 

Sure the wake he was kicking up was making it harder for everyone else to swim, but they were gonna thank him for the extra excitement later, he was certain. 

Except of course for Akane, whose struggles meant she hadn't even meaningfully left the starting line. Though credit where it was due, she had surpassed her previous best attempts already, and was keeping her head above water under her own power—even though it did require a lot of frantic flailing. The fact that he didn't have to baby her was satisfying though, and maybe if she kept trying to swim over the summers, she'd actually kind of have it down in a year or two.

Akane's ability to tread water was waning, however, and as Ranma was staring at her like a dope, she slipped under the water’s surface. Ranma started a timer in his mind as he saw Akane fumble down at the bottom, knowing that she wouldn't have been satisfied if he rescued her before she had a chance to fight the simulated seas herself. 

Four seconds passed without much improvement, and Ranma sighed and prepared himself to dive down after the brick he was engaged to, but he'd scarcely put his head under the water before a different boy decided to play hero. Jumping in from the sidelines, Kuno plunged down after Akane, sputtering a garbled and mangled speech of love and nobility into the water as he went. Hooking his arms under Akane, he ascended rapidly, jumping her out of the pool and onto dry land where she lay still gagging water.

The problem was that the creep then tried to help Akane with a little mouth to mouth, and Ranma would not tolerate that. He leapt out of the water to deliver another flying kick to the brute who was about to force himself on a poor gagging Akane who just needed someone to pump the water out a little bit.

Ranma did just that, rewarded for his troubles by a spray of swallowed water that got all over his face. He wanted to be mad, but he was mostly just glad that Akane started coughing and breathing on her own without issue. He knew she could have handled worse, but he was allowed to worry all the same.

“Dunno why you keep tryin’ this ‘Kane, it always ends up the same way.” Ranma sighed as Akane sat up, glaring at him. “Why don't you just leave any swimming that comes up to the professional?”

“Because I’m going to learn!” Akane snapped back, a fire in her eyes that further reassured Ranma that she was okay. “I promise you, I’m going to do it on my own, I don't want to need you for anything, Ranma!”

Unfortunately that insinuation forced Ranma to glare back at Akane. He just wanted to make sure she was okay! If she didn't wanna put up with him, that was her damn problem!

“Whatever, tomboy. Guess I shoulda let Kuno plant his lips on ya, huh?” Ranma rolled his eyes as he stood up, already walking away so he didn't have to watch her pout over something so stupid. 

He wasn't expecting Akane to grab him by the wrist and yank him back, wearing a half-hearted smile on her face as he spun around. 

“That's not what I meant, idiot. Obviously I'm glad you were there to-” Akane started what Ranma hoped was a year filled apology full of reassurances that she absolutely did need him and would be lost without him, but it was interrupted by Kuno’s booming voice as he returned to make a fool of himself.

“Akane Tendo, you yet live! Oh how I feared for your safety!” Declared the man, standing tall and proud over the both of them. Ranma was always shorter than the guy, but the fact that his girl side was still more than thirty centimeters shorter than the creep after all this time only made the difference in size more frustrating, if only because of how much harder it made lodging a fist in his face to shut him up.

“I'm fine Kuno, I had everything under control.” Akane’s bravado at least wasn't directed exclusively at Ranma, and she took one step towards him in the ever pointless hope that it would actually make him take a step back.

“Do not fret dear Akane, I speak not to damage your pride but to one day strengthen it, that it may bloom in the seas of our love!” Kuno's metaphor already lacked coherency, and Ranma tensed up preventatively, already expecting him to try to get grabby with one or both of them should the ‘sea of love’ grow stormy and tumultuous. “Perhaps you would benefit from more direct instruction? I'm well versed in the aqueous arts, and perhaps a guiding hand can help you reach your fullest potential! Why I even have a private pool within which-”

“She ain't interested pal!” Ranma snapped, taking his own step forward as he jabbed a finger into Kuno's unfortunately bared stomach. “She's a lead weight, and enougha you idiots seem to think you can fix that with some stupid trick! Besides, if anyone's gonna teach her, it's gonna be me! None of the rest of you stand a chance of fixing her!”

“I don't need to be fixed, Ranma.” Akane spoke through gritted teeth as she swung her fist, narrowly missing Ranma as she launched Kuno a short distance away instead, leaving him flat on his back. “And I sure as heck don't need another Kuno’s help!”

“Okay, okay, just figured I'd offer, seein’ as unlike tall, rich, and stupid over there I wouldn't just be doin’ it ta see you in all your swimsuits.” Ranma shook his head as he tried not to growl in frustration, wishing he and Akane could have just had a pleasant enough day today. He didn't like being at her throat or anything! He was just kinda on edge lately! Maybe he just needed to apologize a little harder, take a deep breath and let her know how he felt. Trying very hard to center himself, he grabbed Akane by the hands and continued. “Look, it's not like I-”

His admission of remorse was lost on the wind as both Ranma and Akane sensed a swarm of things rapidly approaching them, and they both turned to face it. Rose after rose flew towards them in a dazzling array of colors accompanied by a flurry of petals, and Ranma could do little besides give in to his reflexes and knock every single incoming piece of foliage out of the air. He knew these were Kuno’s doing, but the fool clearly didn't know what he'd done. Each flower and petal refused to bend on impact with his fist, almost like they were stiffened by a burning ki. 

The realization that Kuno’s undying and unrequited love was trying to hurt them caused Ranma to chuckle slightly, but he could see Akane was weathering the storm less favorably. Small cuts cropped up on her bare skin, and Ranma understood all too quickly that these things were razor sharp, and that was ignoring the still present thorns. These were legitimately dangerous, either to Akane, or any normal person standing behind them!

Protecting himself was effortless, but he no longer had the luxury of simply waiting out the situation. Ranma focused, the gears of time grinding to a halt as he moved and planned faster than almost anyone else could even see, allowing him to direct his hands, arms, and legs along precise routes to knock out the majority of projectiles in the most favorable priority. Self defense fell by the wayside as he made sure to either protect the probably still half-drowned Akane or the many normal kids who were foolishly standing in the way of the projectiles. He had to grit his teeth as the pain of narrow and shallow cuts to his body piled up, but he wasn’t worried about himself anymore, he was just glad that when it finally ended, he’d managed to ride out the storm of flowers without letting anyone get seriously hurt.

“What the hell did you do that for, Kuno?!” Ranma shouted, finally able to stare at the frankly confused Kuno who was holding a now empty and ruined bouquet of flowers, blinking as he tried to process his role in the last several seconds. Ranma briefly took his eyes off of the idiot to check behind him, incredibly glad anyone who had been back there had long since fled, though it also gave him a perfect view of the childish love note the petals and stems had made when they embedded into the far wall. AT + TK + PG, surrounded by a large heart.

“Fair pigtailed girl, you are unharmed!” Kuno didn’t even bother trying to answer Ranma’s question as he ran forward, and in her exhaustion and distraction she dodged too late to actually avoid him pulling her into a tight and suffocating embrace. Ranma struggled against Kuno as she tried to catch her breath enough to free herself, but even if she had it he wasn’t giving her any leverage, and her arms were restrained. “Oh I had no idea my bold vision of the future would possibly place you or the beautiful Akane Tendo into danger, but you have done nothing but prove that together our romance could triumph over any uncertainty, perhaps now I am strong enough free your souls from that vile sorcerer Ran-”

Kuno didn’t get a chance to finish as Ranma finally managed to slip an arm free during his disgusting nuzzling, and decked him square in the face right as Akane stomped directly on his foot to shock him into dropping Ranma. He staggered back from the blows, staring at the unified Anything-Goes force in an unusual shock and horror, though considering his nose was bleeding he might have actually taken a harder punch than Ranma had meant to dole out.

Then again, he was also blushing madly, along with every other boy who turned to stare from the same direction. Cursing under his breath, Ranma turned to check on Akane, only to find that she hadn’t simply received superficial cuts to the body, the straps on her one piece had fallen, and she was exposed.  

“And what’re you all starin’ at huh?! Get the girl some space!” Ranma shouted as he interposed himself in front of Akane, hoping she’d get the hint and run off to change before anyone else leered at his fiancee! He preemptively cracked his knuckles, his blood increasingly boiling at the notion that anyone would get any bright idea or try to take advantage of-

A breeze blew by, interrupting Ranma’s inner fury with the realization that despite being almost summer break, he felt kind of cool in the unusually brisk full body wind… and that gave him exactly enough situational awareness to realize that several idiot boys were staring at him as well, if not more intently than they’d been staring at Akane. Gulping, Ranma didn’t even look down, simply moving his arms in front of his chest and finding things so incredibly bared and on display. His rage built again, cut now with a personal indignance that all these gross men would dare to try to take a peek at him like that, despite knowing full well who he was, that he was really a boy, and that- that-

He wouldn’t even really get publicly mad at them, because that would have meant admitting that he’d come to be protective of this cursed side of himself. “A- and- and-”

Movement from behind grabbed his attention, but as he whipped around to face it he didn’t see any enterprising idiot boys trying to take advantage of him, instead confronted by a couple of concerned girls he didn’t really remember the names of, Akane, and Sayuri.

“Come on Ranma.” Sayuri said through a calm smile as she put a hand around Ranma’s back, pushing him away from the scene at the pool. “Let’s get you somewhere safer than this, okay?”

He didn’t really know what safer meant in this context, but he usually felt safer around girls as a girl than he did around guys—at least more than he did around guys who were treating him like a piece of meat—so he nodded and followed where she and Akane were leading him. Until he realized it was the girl’s locker room anyway, at which point he dug his heels into the dirt and slipped out of Sayuri’s helpful grasp.

“Thanks for makin’ sure ‘Kane got here okay. I’m gonna go run off to the nurse’s office, and…” Ranma paused as he turned to face the main building, already trying to plan the exact series of jumps he could take to end up in more or less the right place, minimizing how many weirdos and pests could get a glimpse of his radiant beauty. 

“Yuka already went to get your clothes, don’t worry, you’ll be a lot better off changing in here.” Sayuri tried to aim her smile at him again, but all it earned her this time was a scowl in response at how clearly she was misunderstanding the situation.

“I ain’t a girl, Sayuri, I can’t be in there. It’s not- I don’t wanna feel like a- Akane would kill me anyway.”

“Stop wasting time, idiot!” Akane shouted over her shoulder as she stood in the threshold to the very locker room the girls were trying to drag him inside. “Unless you like being on display for everyone I suggest you get inside!” 

She didn’t actually go inside herself though, instead as Ranma continued to nervously lock up at the idea, she stepped back towards him, grabbed him by the hand, and dragged him in behind her. The other girls might have considered a locker room like this safe—and he supposed it was, most of the time, when Ranma wasn’t trying to drill out the floor—but he wasn’t supposed to be in here and he knew it. Girls around him entered various states of undress without even thinking about the ramifications, including Akane, and it was all he could do to stare at the corner while he waited for his red silken salvation to be brought to him.

“T- thanks, I guess, for letting me wait in here with you guys- girls.” Ranma said, trying to cut the palpable tension he felt with smalltalk, though the time it took before he got a response only made him more nervous. 

“It’s really not that big of a deal, Ranma, everyone knows about your… issue these days.” Said a girl Ranma still really couldn’t remember the name of.

“The only reason we didn’t tell you that nobody minds you using the girl’s locker room—as long as you’re a girl at the time—was because we wanted it to be unanimous, and we had a… holdout vote.” Sayuri added from dangerously close to Ranma, and he almost turned to face her before he remembered that he’d probably be seeing more skin than he should have. 

“Well it’s clearly fine now, so we don’t need to talk about it!” Akane shouted from directly to the left of Ranma, and the phantom sensation of her moving in his peripheral vision left him trapped, practically nose deep in the corner. He wasn’t sure who exactly they meant was the last person to be comfortable with him in here, but he wasn’t going to worry about it. They were right to not want him in here, whoever they were. 

While he could have sat in stoic silence while he waited for his clothes to arrive, but ultimately that was just going to pair his anxiety with boredom, and as much as he wanted to minimize the space he took up at the moment until everyone forgot he was there, he couldn’t bear to do nothing. Yes he had nothing good to wear, but he still needed to shower off the pool water before changing anyway, and if the girls were willing to tolerate him as long as he kept his head down and didn’t stare, he supposed getting started on that was a good idea. 

“Hey, Akane.” He began, trying to distract himself more than anything as he wormed his way out of the cut up swimsuit he was going to need to get replaced if they ended up doing anymore swimming this year. “I didn’t wanna… It’s not that I… You gotta know that…”

“Spit it out, dork.” Akane sighed in response as she too finished shucking off her torn clothing, heading off for the showers herself. “You’re making a scene.”

“Look, I’ve just had a lot goin’ on lately, okay? Snappin’ at people comes easy, even if they don’t deserve it, and maybe I can be a bit harsh with what I say…” Ranma kept his eyes straight down at the ground as he followed behind Akane, not too eager to get accused of staring at her from behind, even if the view was-

He slapped himself both mentally and physically. He was a girl right now, in a girl space, and he needed to not think that way or he was just going to betray everyone’s trust. He needed to focus. “I wasn’t joking, okay? If you wanted me ta try to teach ya when your dad inevitably takes us out to the beach over summer break, I don’t mind or nothin’.”

“Yeah well-” Akane started to say something, snipping irritation bubbling in her throat, but she let it all out with a heavy sigh as she turned her shower on. “Thanks. We’ll see. Maybe knowing how to swim just isn’t that important.”

“Oh don’t be like that, ‘Kane. Sure you got a lotta deficit to overcome, but you’re muscle bound enough to beat your way through all kindsa problems. You’ll get there.” Ranma turned on his own shower, flinching under the ice cold water. As much as the back of his mind called for him to turn the dial as hot as it would go to help him get over the anger and embarrassment he’d had at inadvertently flashing his whole class, he couldn’t. The girls were trusting him, and he didn’t want to scare them by being the big imposing guy threatening them. He’d done enough of that by accident over the years. 

“I’m going to hope that’s a compliment.” Grumbled Akane as she continued cleaning herself, not quite accepting or refusing his offer. Whatever, he’d tried to apologize, and if she was just gonna be stuck up about it that was her problem. 

“Aren’t you so lucky, Akane? You’re the only girl at school who gets to bring her boyfriend in here.” Laughter poured out of yet another girl Ranma had never put in the work of remembering, and while Akane started to growl about it, Ranma leapt away from the voice and into Akane’s arms out of shock and surprise. Of course that just made more people laugh at him, but it wasn’t his fault! Usually when someone made some crack about him being the sex he wasn’t at the time, they were about to change that for him. He’d put up with his fair share of guys trying to get a Saotome peep show, and he had no idea if the girls could be trusted either! He doubly didn’t want to run that risk in front of Akane, who was probably moments away from punching him the moment he-

Fear hit him a second time as he realized Akane was carrying him in her arms, and the fact that neither of them were actually wearing anything quickly moved the situation beyond simple anxiety at touching Akane into full blown horror. He writhed out of her grip before she properly realized what was going on, skittering away from her so she couldn’t just take a swing at him. 

“S- sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” Akane hissed at the other girls as she recovered from the sudden contact with Ranma, finally turning off her own shower as she started toweling off. 

“You don’t gotta remind me, tomboy.” Ranma said as he exited the shower himself, gritting his teeth at the indignity of being so callously tossed aside by the girl he’d found the courage to kinda sorta admit he cared about once or twice. She was right though, they weren’t actually dating or anything, and all him finally managing to call her cute meant was that he wasn’t any better than the other boys who hit on her when she didn’t want them to. He wasn’t going to dwell on it, instead he shrugged and wrapped a towel around his waist, just so he could have some kind of dignity about the situation while he finished waiting. Yuka was going to be here any second now, she was on the track team if he remembered right. 

“How should I know what you do and don’t need to be reminded of, Ranma? You seem to keep forgetting how to wear one of these as a girl.” Akane pulled Ranma’s towel off, seamlessly wrapping it around his whole torso before he could really protest. She was right, this did cover more, but it wasn’t gonna hide anything important if Ranma got hit by hot water. Ranma would have preferred an actively flashed chest over the risk of anyone accidentally seeing her dangling bits any day. 

“Thanks, ‘Kane.” Opting for discretion and trying to avoid a fight, Ranma simply tried to appreciate that Akane was looking out for him at all, especially as Yuka walked into the locker room bearing his clothes and his schoolbag, still panting from the run. “And thanks Yuka, you’re the best!” 

Ranma shot Yuka a wide smile as took the clothes from her and shoved himself back in the corner, glad he could finally actually get changed back into the safety of his rugged boy’s clothes, which would protect him more than that cheap and unflattering swimsuit ever would. Then he’d just need to pop into a hopefully empty bathroom for some hot water, and he’d get to pretend this stupid swim class never happened…

After every exhausting thing that had happened to Ranma over the course of the day, he wanted to curl up and take a nice long nap under the sun on the dojo roof, but that wouldn't have really helped him feel better. He needed to train, push himself through his katas faster and faster in the hope that the next time something happens, he would be quick enough to protect Akane and himself. The fact that he was so weak and slow that his entire class full of boys had gotten a free peep show out of him and Akane was incredibly unacceptable, and he couldn't even remotely allow the risk that such a thing could happen again.

Then again simply going through the motions wasn't burning off the stress he was carrying, and he knew he was going to mix things up soon. He'd have sparred with his old man if the freeloader was home, but pops was off doing who knew what—hopefully his day job, if he still had it—and that left Ranma completely without anyone around who was on his level. He absolutely didn't want to find out if his mom was good in a fight—though admittedly he had been considering asking her for kendo lessons while she was around—Akane was out with friends or something, and whether or not Mr. Tendo had any secret or hidden skills as an Anything-Goes master he wasn't willing to show it. 

And that left Ranma with one exceedingly boring option. When he ran out of the willpower to keep forcing himself through his katas, he stepped outside and started fighting Akane's many training dummies. They were clustered together tight enough he could almost pretend he was surrounded, and the fact that each one spotted some kind of identifying accessory—a pigtail, a big white ribbon, or poofy hair covered in cat bells—simply added to the experience. Making up a little scenario in his head was easy, a mirror clone of himself had seduced away Ukyo and Shan Pu, they were going to try to kill him, and all he had to do was fight back.

He opened with a salvo of punches and kicks against his phantom self, imagining the ways he was narrowly landing blow after blow on something almost his equal, before he dodged to the side, slamming his fist into the faux Ukyo with incredible force. The haymaker snapped the dummy almost clean off its post, and following the attack up with a blisteringly fast kick finished the job and put her down for the count—he had to go easy on Ucchan, they were old friends.

He immediately pivoted his weight back towards Shan Pu while the evil Ranma was distracted, slamming his fists into her at a speed even her great grandmother would have been impressed by. He paused to weave around theoretical blows before launching into a simple—if forced—reversal, grabbing the target by the body and flipping it behind him. 

Now at last he could turn to face himself, the idiot dummy who had in his mind just pulled itself off the ground because he didn't know how to take defeat any more than Ranma did. Slamming a surprise roundhouse into the imposter's chest while it struggled to find its footing was perhaps unsporting, but Ranma had no mercy for it. He took a few steps back just to give himself space before he leapt into a series of aerial punches and kicks, challenging the other man among men to fight him in the Saotome style. Obviously it couldn't stand up to him, and in time it too began to falter and tumble in place. Ranma wouldn't just settle for beating this thing though. He was going to completely and utterly destroy it.

Ranma summoned all of his strength to deliver a powerful uppercut, casting the dummy high into the air, leaving no doubt as to how thoroughly it was defeated. He wasn’t going to stop there, however, and drew his hands close to his body. He couldn't jump high enough to intercept the thing, but he could do something better. He pulled his ki up to the surface, letting it bubble out into his palms as something he could shoot. Much to his surprise, it wasn't light and airy like he preferred, tainted by something hefty and weighty, but he knew how to work with heavy ki almost as well.

“Shishi Hokodan!” Ranma shouted, calling not on his pride, but his roiling anger and suffocating stress to shoot a deep dark red stream of energy clean through the artificial person, rendering it into ash on the wind.

As he panted in the aftermath, he wished that he could smirk, smile, feel smug, something positive, but all he felt was his simmering anger brought up to the surface. When he fired off the Moko Takabisha, it always leeched his confidence away temporarily, and whenever Ryoga used his perfected version of the Lion’s Roar Shot it took his anger away, but Ranma had forgotten that all this unrefined version of the move did was mess with him emotionally.

“You’ve got to teach me that one day.” Said Akane, who tapped him on the back of the head, thankfully stopping him before he could spiral deep into his inner thoughts. He was surprised he didn't hear her creeping up on him, and had to bite down his gut instinct to be too cruel about the request.

“I’ll think about it.” Ranma shrugged, trying to avoid having to imply either that he was so very unqualified to teach anything at all despite what everyone expected of him, or the fact that he didn't think learning how to channel sadness as a weapon was a very good lesson for Akane.

“I hope you'll do more than that, after breaking my training equipment! Do you know how long those took me to make?!” Akane shouted, shaking him by the shoulder for emphasis. He shouldn’t have been enjoying the experience, but honestly a petty fight with Akane was always great for changing why he was frustrated, and so he turned to face her with a weak smile as he considered what barb to sling back.

“They were just cheap toys anyway, ‘Kane. If you wanna get better you should try fighting someone real for once.” Ranma didn't expect his reply to make Akane grin in return, but he very suddenly found he didn't mind as the swirling thoughts in his head were rapidly drowned out by his beating heart that was simply excited to finally get this response from Akane.

“It's a date, then. Don't forget you agreed to this!” Even Akane yelling was tinged with an upbeat positivity Ranma didn't understand, but it was infectious, slowly turning his smile all too real. He had no idea what Akane was trying to be so cute over—she had to have a motive—but he supposed agreeing to a low effort sparring session was worth making her happy just this once. “Anyway, that's not why I'm here. Ranma, I need to tell you something.”

“Oh boy, what is it this time?” Ranma sighed and put his head in his hand, feigning disinterest even as his heart beat faster. He'd already misinterpreted her signals this morning, he wasn't going to repeat his mistake, but his heart remained certain Akane was about to make a real move on him. “If you're about to accuse me of something then you can-”

“I'm sorry.” Akane said, making her voice quiet enough that only Ranma would hear, even in a home full of martial artists who might be trying to listen in in the hope that Ranma and Akane were about to confess their true feelings. “I’ve been pretty rude to you all day, and I know you don't really deserve it. So I'm sorry.”

Akane's apology hung in the air as she stared at Ranma, waiting for him to accept it, but he didn't really know what to say. A bold declaration of ‘finally’ or ‘took you long enough’ would just piss her off, accepting the apology might have just made her mad too depending on whether she thought he actually did deserve anything, and yet counter apologizing might have been the wrong move too… He couldn't just stand and fret about it though, so he was going to go with his gut and do whatever he was pretty sure she wanted.

“I'm- I'm sorry too, I guess. I'm sure I've been a pain lately.” Ranma rubbed the back of his neck and turned his gaze away from Akane as fast as he could in an attempt to conceal his blush—one born purely out of embarrassment and nothing else, no matter what stupid idea Akane got in her head. 

“I know you have, but I also know it's not really your fault.” Akane spoke so matter of factly that Ranma couldn't help but jerk his body back around so he could glare at her, but that only caused him confusion when his eyes were met with a moderately large cookie that she was offering up to him, the treat resting on a simple white furoshiki patterned with eggs and newly hatched chicks. “Either way, I wanted to make it up to you, okay? I bought you this, and I hope you like it.”

She stared at him with bright hopeful eyes sparkling with expectation, and no amount of innate reluctance to taking food from Akane stopped his body from acting on its own to take the soft cookie into his hands. It was overly soft, like it hadn't actually been baked all the way, or was maybe full of something moist, but he wasn't going to figure that out just by looking at it. Akane was far too eager for him to take a bite out of this for it to just be something she bought from a bakery—and he was so certain she'd gone to Yuka’s house after school anyway—so this had to be homemade. Akane had seen how her words hurt him, and wanted to make it up to him with food.

Scary, terrifying, potentially toxic food. He wasn't getting out of this without either eating it or making her cry, he could tell that much already, but as the seconds ticked past he felt her silent urging growing more and more intense. This was very important to her, whatever it was. He shrugged as the only course of action finalized itself in his mind. Eating this would make her smile, and as long as it didn't kill him that was probably a fair trade.

Bringing it up to his lips with shaking hands, he stuck a chunk in his mouth and bit down, already mentally bracing for the worst…

But as he chewed through that first bite, he was pleasantly surprised by just how normal it was. It was sweet, a little dry, definitely undercooked, but nothing jumped out to him as being especially wrong with it. The faint raspberry flavor was actually fairly pleasant, even if he wished it was slightly more intense. He gave Akane a long ‘mmmMMmm’ of satisfaction—more for show than anything else—as he took another bite, and another, until finally the whole thing was gone and he felt remarkably okay about the experience, especially with how genuinely pleased with herself Akane looked.

“That was pretty good, Akane, thanks.” Ranma returned the best smile he could to his fiancee, hoping she got a fraction of the joy out of his that he got from hers. “Guess I shouldn't be surprised all your practice in the kitchen is finally paying off. Didja put anything fancy in here?”

“W- what, no, Ranma I bought that, you're-” Caught between accepting his compliment and the lie she'd told, Akane squirmed in place, trying to figure out exactly how to escape him getting mad at her, but she really didn't need to worry.

“That's a shame, I was hopin’ ta ask you to make me some more, maybe with a little more of that jam I think you put in?” Ranma closed his eyes to accentuate just how much he really did appreciate that she'd even thought about making him something, though as he opened them again he was a little surprised to have Akane centimeters from his face, staring at him intently. “You… okay, Akane? You didn't hit your head or something, didja?”

“N- no, yes- I'm fine, is what I'm trying to say. Sorry for lying, but I didn't think you'd eat it if I was honest.” Akane pulled away just as Ranma’s discomfort at the situation was starting to manifest on his cheeks, and he was thankfully able to go back to just getting lost in her eyes. 

“Hey, I might tease you when ya deserve it, but what kinda guy would I be not to eat something my- well you know my- that you made me.” Ranma rubbed the back of his neck, dangerously close to accidentally saying fiancee out loud. It wasn't like he didn't like Akane, she really was his kinda girl all things considered, and she could be sweet… but that was all the more reason he had not to ruin things by trying to be too forward. She'd already said it earlier, they weren't dating. “If it's good it's good, if it's bad it's training, I win either way right?”

Ranma flinched automatically in anticipation of an attack that never actually came, and when Akane started laughing awkwardly to herself he found himself joining in too. He was used to saying terrible things by accident and getting punished for it, but for once he kinda felt like maybe he'd navigated one of these conversations correctly.

“Well okay, if you really did like it, I'll try to make you another one tomorrow, okay? Your mom’s in the middle of making us unagidon, so I really shouldn't spoil your appetite.” Akane let out one final giggle at that joke and started walking off, humming to herself, once again leaving Ranma alone with his thoughts.

His thoughts, and the important realization that his mom was in the middle of cooking dinner, and he hadn't even washed up yet! Eel was one of his favorites, and mom had been talking up her recipe all week, he couldn't afford to miss it because he was still all sweaty and gross! He needed to run and shower before it was too late!