Chapter Text
~~~ Mal ~~~
“Viktor!”
I heard someone yell behind me and it took me a moment to realise that they were calling me. I turned to face him.
“The shipment has arrived. You’re on loading duty.” He ordered in Ravkan, his thick Kerch accent rolling around the strong ‘r’s.
“I don’t take orders from you.” I replied.
“Well, good for you, those were Kaz’s orders. Get going.” The thug, whose name I did not bother remembering, said in annoyance and walked past me, knocking my shoulders in the process.
Resisting the urge to hurl something at his retreating head, I walked towards the courtyard. ‘Courtyard’ was a rather dignified term for the broken strip of concrete that stood facing the canal. The smell of urine and canal water assaulted my nose as soon as I entered the place and I could not help but grimace at that.
Three months have passed since I started working in this place and I hated every single moment of it. I know I should be grateful for the safety that Alina managed to buy for me, but everyday my skin itched to go back to Ravka and be with her. It felt wrong in my bones to be away from her. And with each passing day it became more and more difficult to resist the urge to seek her out. Whenever that feeling washed over me, a tiny voice in me wondered if the urge was due to my love for Alina or if it was simply the effect of being her amplifier.
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Night had fallen by the time I was done. I sat on one of the bollards and watched the dark canal water in silence. For some reason its black ripples reminded me of the Fold and it took me back to the night I escaped East Ravka. That fateful day, it took everything in me to not go after Alina. I watched her as she parted the Fold and I also watched her bloodied body being carried back by the Darkling’s man. Since that day regret and fear had been gnawing my stomach. And this place and its people did nothing to help with it. I felt so lost without her.
“You missed the evening edition.” A voice startled me out of my thoughts.
“Any news?”
“No.”
I sighed in disappointment.
“Mal, I know you are worried. But I have faith in the Sankta.” Inej said and I nodded at her. Inej was the only comfort I had in this place. With her being a Ravkan and a firm believer in Alina made it easier to talk things with her.
When I first arrived here, Kaz was extremely displeased to see me and finally said, “The favour is only to keep you safe, not to fund your stay.”
“I will earn my keep.” I said with conviction. The Zemini man, next to him, snorted at that as I glared at him.
“I wasn’t making fun of you, mate. In case you haven’t noticed, we are business men and our business is crime. You don’t seem the type to fit into our line of work.”
“Leave him alone, Jes.” Inej stepped in. “Kaz is in need of a new handyman anyway.”
Kaz’s mouth thinned even further and without telling anything he walked away throwing a, ‘We’ll see.’ as he left. Since that day, Inej had taken it upon herself to watch over me. She showed me the ropes around the place and helped me settle in.
The incident that made me consider her my friend happened two weeks after. I was loading whiskey into the cart to take it to the Crow Club. A few feet away from me a couple of men were heatedly discussing something in Kerch. I did not understand a word of it and the only word that caught my attention was the name ‘Alina.’
I dropped the cart and rushed to them. “What happened to Alina? What are you talking about?” I asked frantically. But they didn’t understand Ravkan much to my desperation. Finally, they handed me the newspaper and I ran towards the Crow Club clutching the paper as if my life depended on it.
Jesper was the one who I saw first. “What happened to you? Where’s the whiskey?”
“Something happened to Alina.” I said in distraught and thrusted the newspaper into his hands. “Tell me what it says. Tell me.” I demanded.
“Just rumours about Alina being really sick because of the Fold’s curse. They are discussing whether she is dead or not.” He said. Unable to bear the news, I ran till my legs couldn't take it anymore and slumped on a bollard similar to the one I’m sitting on. I was so lost in grief that I did not notice the passing of time nor Inej approaching me.
“The paper you bought is known for gossip more than real news.” She said, “This one however”, she pulled out another newspaper. “has more facts than fiction. It says Alina is indeed sick but it says nothing about her being dead.”
“I should have stayed with her.”
“I know what I say doesn’t mean much. But I know that she will overcome this obstacle.” Inej said with a conviction that I did not have.
She waited with me till I was well enough to walk back and took me safely to the Slat. Since that day, she always made it a point to read me the newspaper and tell me if there was any new information about Alina.
“What are you thinking about?” Her voice pulled me to the present.
“Nothing. Just thinking about Alina- why she seem to never catch a break. Her whole life had been one misfortune after another. After the news about her recovery, I thought she would be fine. But the riot put her in danger again. And what is even this nonsense about Alina going on a prayer retreat? I cannot help but think that something severe must have happened to her. Or maybe it was all the Darkling’s doing. If only I could go back to Ravka and see her.” I sighed.
Inej was silent and didn’t respond. “What no quips about faith today?” I asked her with a smile.
“No. Santka Alina is divinity to me. But to you, she is family. What can I say to someone who is yearning to see their family?” she asked and I had no answer to that.
“We should go. Kaz does not like loitering.” She stood and I walked with her inside.
Once we reached the employee’s entrance, Inej left and I walked in alone.
“You still owe me a bag of sugar.” A voice said to my right and I froze. Alina was standing there, casually, leaning against the wall in a teal gown as if nothing had happened since I last saw her.
“Alina?” I could only whisper as tears glistened my eyes. Her face broke out into a soft smile and she pulled me close, wrapping her hands around me.
And I finally felt home.
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“Alina.” I said her name again, still stunned. In the lowlights of the Crow Club she looked healthier than ever, positively radiant.
“I cannot believe you’re actually here, sitting in front of me.”
She just smiled in response.
There were so many changes to Alina since the last time I saw her. Starting from her smile to the way she carried herself, Alina felt strange and familiar at the same time. There was always a softness that emanated from Alina. Being in her presence made you feel warm and welcoming-like sitting in front of a fireplace with a soft blanket draped around you. However, this Alina showed none of it. Her eyes were cold and hard, almost calculating. Even when she was sitting in front of me, her eyes were noticing things around us and designing something.
“The paper.” I said, drawing back Alina’s attention. “They said so many things. They said you were sick and dying.”
“I was.”
“What happened?”
“The Fold took too much from me.”
This was another thing I noticed. The new Alina strictly spoke only what was needed. The friend I left behind would have sensed the turmoil behind my words and would have rushed to comfort me. But the Alina in front of me was unbothered by my anguish. It was as if the girl I grew up with vanished into thin air, leaving this cold being behind.
“And the riot?” I pressed.
“A distraction. How else could I leave Ravka?”
“The Darkling just let you go?”
“He doesn’t let me do anything, Mal. I came here voluntarily.”
“To see me?”
A pause. “Amongst other things.”
I could not take it any longer. “What happened to you, Alina?”
“Destiny.”
Before I could ask her more, Kaz’s deep voice interrupted us.
“Booth is for paying customers only.”
Alina did not flinch at his harsh tone or fear the bouncer who stood behind Kaz. Before I could step in, she said, “I’m your customer and I have paid you already. Plenty more than your normal rate.”
Kaz’s lips thinned to a slit. “Even so, the services you paid me for are not offered here.”
He motioned for the bouncer and Alina stood up. Along with her, a blonde girl, who I didn't noticed before, stood up too from the booth behind me. I did not realise that Alina was with company. We all began to follow the bouncer in silence as he walked us towards Kaz’s office. Everything was very unsettling- at least for me. Alina, however, looked unfazed and walked with a confidence I had never seen in her before. He took us to the second floor and I followed them dumbly, not understanding what was happening. I was extremely worried for Alina. Kaz is not a good man and I did not want Alina to get entangled with him.
When we reached the door, Alina stopped me from entering. “I don’t want you to get involved in this.” she stated flatly. Her quiet dismissal stung me like a slap.
“Fine.” I muttered angrily, feeling humiliated and turned away. I waited for weeks. Weeks! Sick with worry only to be dismissed like a dog. Kaz, Inej and Jesper were climbing up as I came down. Inej smiled at me. But all I could give her in return was a tight grimace and walked away hastily.
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
~~~ Nina ~~~
The bouncer closed the door behind him as we waited inside the small office cum living space. The humidity in the air made me sweat a lot. As much as I loved seeing the sights of the city, the weather left much to be desired. The smell of seawater and the humidity in the air was not something I could get used to. After taking in the room, my eyes settled on Alina. She was standing straight with her back to me and was staring at an oil painting of the Fold hanging on the wall.
I observed Alina without alerting her. The last few months had been a whirlwind to say the least. The strange Winter Fete, Alina’s disappearance, the Fold, her near death then her recovery. I was in a constant state of turmoil for weeks. Everybody had a different story to tell and no one knew what exactly happened to Alina. I tried one night to sneak around to see her myself but Ivan caught me and almost threatened me with my life. So I stuck to my usual routine and waited along with the others for any news on Alina. But none came for days.
And then one day, Fedyor stopped me as I got out of the class.
“Nina. Please walk with me.” he said and started walking.
I ran to catch up to him and asked in a hushed tone, “Is Alina alright?”
He smiled without answering and kept walking. He took me to the War Room. As the door opened, I saw a fully-healed Alina, standing next to the map table and reviewing some papers. I only hesitated for a moment and then just dashed inside and hugged her tight.
“I was so worried.” I muttered, trying not to sob. A beat or two later, Alina wrapped her hands around me too.
Only when I released Alina, I saw that we were not alone and General Kirigan was also present in the room, sitting in his usual chair and watching us with a blank expression.
“Moi Soverenyi.” I bowed, unable to hide my embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I-”. He simply waved his hand.
“Nina.” Alina called.
“I know that you are less than a year from your graduation. But-”
“Yes to whatever you are asking.” I said, unable to contain my excitement. I immediately knew that we are going on a mission. That could be the only reason why Alina’s recovery was never made public.
“Where are we going?” I asked and Alina looked at me with a proud glint in her eyes.
“I’m going to Shu-Han and you will be travelling to Fjerda.” she said. I was a bit bummed to know that we would not be on this mission together.
“I don’t like this plan, Alina.” The General’s voice cut in. “I don’t trust these people.”
Alina’s jaw tightened. “I don’t either. But we need them and the anonymity they offer, General. It’s the only way to keep Ravka’s name out of it.”
They stared at each other as if they were having a silent argument. Finally the General conceded with a sigh and I tried not to show my surprise. General Kirigan is not known to back away from something without a fight.
Alina then turned to me. “Remember the day you helped me carry the war reports?” I nodded.
“We discovered something nefarious that day. Shu-Han and Fjerda are rapidly developing a new chemical to break the mind-body barrier of Grisha and turn them into beasts that they can control. So far all the reports suggest that their operations are on a small scale as they have not fully succeeded with the chemical yet. And we need to stop them before they do. I’m sure by now you would have noticed the increased number of Grisha kidnappings in the announcements. They are all being captured to be taken to the labs. We need to act fast.”
I gasped in surprise.
“Our mission is to find their labs and destroy them.” Alina said and I agreed whole-heartedly with her.
The next day, I was pulled out of my classes and my training began. For the next month, Genya, Fedyor, Alina and I trained religiously in secret and prepared ourselves for our mission. New identities were forged, sleek weapons to conceal and carry within our garments were made, rigorous stealth training was conducted and strategies were put in place. By the end of the month, a small riot was staged, placing a threat on both the palaces and Alina. She was then taken away on a ‘religious retreat’ to recover from the ordeal. Soon we found ourselves on a ship and were on our way to Ketterdam.
I rubbed my wrist unconsciously, over the thin markings that Alina had etched into my skin before we left Ravka. The golden markings were not visible unless you look for it. And sometimes I rubbed over them to comfort myself.
“You should not make a habit of it.” Alina said without turning her back.
I was not surprised that she noticed. This Alina, before me, was so different from one who attended classes with me. She is hyper-vigilant and cold. Nothing escaped her notice. It was like she could feel everything around her from the wisp of wind that came through the single open window to the crashing waves at the port. It was disconcerting sometimes.
“Sorry.” She turned to me with a soft smile.
“You are about to meet your crew. Observe them carefully and tell me what you think.”
I nodded. And a moment or two later, the door opened and three people walked. They all had very different reactions to seeing Alina.
The Suli woman, whose name Alina had told me as Inej, immediately rushed forward and fell on her knees. “Sankta.” She said reverently. The man with the cane, Kaz let out a silent scoff and the Zemini man, Jesper looked indifferent at the display.
“Please, Inej. There’s no need for this.”
“Sankta. I knew you would recover. I never lost faith.” She said.
“Thank you.” Alina replied kindly.
“And what a glow-up you have had. You look fantastic!” Jesper commented.
“Jes!” Inej hissed.
“Relax, Inej. We know Alina. She’s our friend. I have so many things to fill you in on. You won’t believe the things that happened to us after we left Ravka.” He talked, not having a care in the world. “We were framed for a murder. A murder! Can you believe that! And almost lost our club and our lives in the process of clearing our names. It was a terrible time for all of us.”
“Oh, I almost forgot to ask.” He continued without a pause. “Did you like what we did in West Ravka?” He asked. “Some of the fights were my absolute masterpieces.” He said proudly.
My eyes widened on hearing it. So the revolt in West Ravka was Alina’s doing? I could not help but admire her. And to think she did all that while she was kidnapped. Saints! That was truly impressive.
“I’m pleased to hear that you have strived past all your difficulties.” Alina said and her tone did not reflect the sincerity of her words.
Before Jesper could continue, Kaz stepped in.
“Let’s focus on the business at hand.” He looked at Alina and asked “What’s the job?”
“To break into the Ice Court.” Alina replied casually.
While Kaz’s eyebrows reached upto his hairline, Inej and Jesper looked speechless.
“It’s an impossible heist.” Kaz said bluntly.
“Hence the price.”
Kaz smirked. “A smart customer only pays after the job is done.”
Alina did not say anything and simply smiled without taking her eyes off of him. Although Kaz didn’t show it, his heart rate was slowly speeding up with each passing second. They stood saying nothing, simply staring at each other. Suddenly we heard the fast-approaching footsteps, almost racing up the stairs, followed by urgent knocks.
“You might want to get it.” Alina’s voice cut through the mounting tension.
Jesper opened the door and a burly man almost fell in. “Boss! The customers! There’s a sudden Firepox outbreak at the club. Three customers have fallen ill and the rest are fleeing. Someone has gone to alert the council and ring the alarm.”
Kaz stood motionless. “Shut the door,” he ordered.
“Boss?”
“Shut the door!” Kaz yelled. The man closed the door and hurried out.
“I don’t do well with threats.” He stated.
“That was not a threat. I was merely collecting what I was owed.” She slowly stalked towards Kaz and stopped four feet from him. “You bargained for your life and the lives of your friends in the barn, Kaz. Every moment since then is mine. The money, the power, the club, the found family, every single thing belongs to me. And it’s mine to take what I once gave.” Alina said, her voice steady and the smile not leaving her face the whole time.
I felt shivers down my spine when Alina finished.
“I will think of something.” Kaz finally relented.
“You have two days.” Alina said and prepared to leave.
“And the Firepox?” Jesper asked.
“It should clear before the council arrives.” She threw out the words as Jesper opened the door for her. I trailed silently behind her and we exited the Crow Club shortly.
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After we arrived at our rooms, I prepared to turn in for the night. Alina however stood by the open window and was staring at the lighthouse.
“Fedyor and Genya should have reached Bhez Ju by now.”
“Yes.” She said.
“Alina?” I called her. Something in voice made her turn and face me. “When we destroy those labs, what are we going to do with the Grisha in there? How would we transport them to Ravka?”
“I have a way.” Alina smiled mysteriously. “Before you ask, a magician never reveals their secret. All you need to focus on is doing your part. Rest will be taken care of.”
“I will not let you down.” I vowed.
“I know.”
“You should rest. I have something to take care of. I will be back before dawn.”
I nodded. “Sleep well, Nina.” She said and left the room.
I had so many thoughts swarming in my head to sleep well. My crew to Fjerda consisted of thieves. I still don’t know what to make of them and I’m supposed to travel alone with them. I rubbed the markings again.
I sighed and turned. There was no point in thinking about the why and what of Alina’s choices. I trust Alina completely, even this new Alina. And I know that she will keep me safe. With that I blew off the candle and fell asleep.
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
~~~ Mal ~~~
I was lying on my itchy mattress and staring at the ceiling. My mind still refused to settle. Even the bottles of whiskey I had downed could not take away the sting from earlier today. A few angry tears fell from my eyes at the way Alina treated me, at how casually she dismissed me like I did not matter to her. It was always supposed to be the two of us forever. But so many things happened and now I don’t know where I stood with her and that hurt me beyond anything.
“We need to leave now. Collect your things, Mal.” Alina’s voice cut through the stillness of the night and I jumped out of my skin.
“Alina? What- How?” I asked not comprehending how Alina was standing inside my locked room.
“Shh! Quietly, Mal.” She said not above a whisper. “Collect your things.”
A part of me wanted to refuse and wanted to demand an explanation for her behaviour. But I knew that this was not the time for such a spectacle and noiselessly began to collect my meagre possessions. When I was done, Alina held out her hand and I laid my hands in hers, engulfing her tiny hand in the process. Then her eyes flashed gold and we were no longer in my tiny room. We were standing on a lush green hill. The gentle swaying wind was already washing away the smells of Ketterdam from me.
“Where are we, Alina?”
“A few miles from Weddle.”
“We are in Novyi Zem?!” I asked, not hiding the joy in my voice. Alina was finally running away with me and my heart sang in happiness.
“Was the blonde woman your keeper? Is that why you were behaving so coldly towards me?”
The silvery moonlight fell on Alina and it made her glow. My heart sped up on seeing her absolute beauty. But Alina’s eyes did not share my joy.
“I’m not running away with you, Mal.” she said after a beat.
Once again her answer stung me like a whip on the back. Anger began to cloud my mind. “So you are packing me off again then? Who is it going to be this time, a conman from Weddle? Or a swindler from Cofton?”
“Neither.” she replied, not batting an eye at my outburst. “I brought you here so you can work and buy your own farm just like you had always wanted.”
I scoffed.
“That was my dream for the both of us, Alina. To have a farm and build our lives together; away from all the prejudices we faced. A life that was our own.”
“It was your dream, Mal. Not mine.” She replied in her new, grating calm tone.
I said nothing for a while and simply stared at her. If the previous incidents left a sting, this response of hers was an shocking punch to the gut. All this time, all my life, all I ever did was dream of a life with Alina. And today I learned that she wanted no part of it. I thought I had lost my chance with her but when the Darkling truly revealed himself, I had hoped that Alina would finally see me, her true home, but looks like she is still with him.
“Of course! I should have known.” I muttered, wishing I was drunk enough to protect my heart from Alina’s betrayal.
“What’s that supposed to mean, Mal?”
And just like that the thin lid of my control snapped. “You were always ambitious Alina. Wanting things that someone like us could never achieve. Dreaming of a life you cannot have. Hell! you were squirrelling away your First Army pay in hopes of getting into the University of Ketterdam. When will you ever learn your lesson, Alina?” I asked derisively.
She stood in silence, her face carefully blank. But I could not pause or stop. I have kept so many things about Alina inside me and I wanted to let it all out. She needs to understand that her being the Sun Summoner means nothing and the people she is standing with are only feeding into her ambition to use her.
“And look where your ambition has landed you. The man who professed his love for you, captured and tortured you. He piled you with silk and jewels only to keep you under his thumb and you were stupid enough to fall for it. He was using you as a means to an end and you are still here working for him. How deluded you must be, Alina.”
Alina still didn’t say anything and I felt my anger flare. “Are you truly that desperate for approval that you are choosing to ignore everything that he put you through?”
“You are drunk, Mal.” Alina said with a strained voice; this was the first time her face betrayed her true emotions and I relished in that tiny victory.
“Not drunk enough for this, Alina.” I said in disgruntlement.
“We were supposed to be together but you lied to me, hid your powers from me and then when the opportunity presented itself you were happy to leave me behind and go with a man who is no less than a monster. And even after everything that has happened, you’re still by his side, shamelessly working for him. That’s the most pathetic thing I have ever seen you do Alina.”
“What did he promise you this time? More money? More jewels? Did he say his love was true all along?”, I continued jeering at her. “Or did he offer to marry you, build you a home and father your child-”
A resounding slap echoed throughout the hill and my neck snapped by its force. I did not expect it and I clutched my stinging cheek.
“Alina-” I said in a tiny voice as all the anger drained from me.
Her small form was almost shaking with anger and the air around us was shifting in response. For the first time in my life, I felt Alina’s power and the true strength of it. My bones began to ache in response, begging to answer her call. The familiar high-pitched ‘ ping ’ that I have grown to associate with Alina was hurting my ears and was reverberating inside my skull from the intensity of it. I clutched my head in pain, closing my ears, trying to stop the noise. Just when I thought my head would explode from it all, it stopped.
“Alina-”
“Maybe I was pathetic indeed to look for love in a world that offered me none,” said Alina with barely contained anger. “And you are not a selfless hero as you paint yourself to be, Mal. I hid myself to remain with you- not knowing that refusing my powers would kill me slowly. And where were you, Mal, when I grew grey and sick? When I paid the price for choosing you? Where was your ‘profound’ love for me then?”
“Alina-”
“You took me for granted and yet you expected me to wait for you when you whored yourself with girl after girl. You expected me to shrink myself to fit into the tiny little space you had carved for me and seek contentment in it. But I’m done. I’m done being with people who expect me to refuse my true self, who expect me to bend over backwards for them but refuse to lift a finger for me. I’m the Sun Summoner. I’m Alina Starkov and I will change the world.”
My eyes widened in fear as her eyes blazed gold.
================
Voices were floating above me. My throat was dry and parched. Someone was placing something cold and wet in my mouth and I immediately began to drink it.
“Alina.” I muttered and turned my head towards the encouraging voice and tried to pry open my eyes. I succeeded after a couple of minutes. The world was bright and the harsh sunlight hurt my eyes. I was finally able to see, once my eyes re-adjusted to the light and sat up in pain and shock by the unfamiliar face that greeted me. A dark skinned, older, Zemini woman’s face was hovering above me instead of Alina.
She was saying something in a soft voice, trying to calm me. But I began to frantically back away and look for Alina. Memories from yesterday began to flow and I stood up in panic.
“Alina.” I called, swatting the elderly lady’s offer for support and began to search for her. I was still on the hill from last night. But there was no sign of Alina.
“Alina!” I bellowed, increasing my pace. The urge to find her gave me strength.
I needed to find her. I need to apologise to her. The things I said to her began to haunt me. Please, I prayed to the saints. I begged them to give me a chance to make it right. I wiped the tears that were falling and that’s when I noticed my bandaged hand. I unwrapped it and found a small straight cut in it. It took me a full minute to comprehend what had happened and I dropped on the ground and hurried to feel the forests around me in a frenzy. But I felt nothing. I could no longer feel the rush of the water or the track of a rabbit. All I could feel was a deafening silence.
“Duli.” A voice called from behind me, startling me out of my panic. It was the elderly woman from before. She handed me a bag and I took it from her, hoping it might carry some answers. But it contained a money pouch with enough coins to sustain me for a couple months and a new identity for me.
In that moment I knew that I had truly lost Alina and I may never see her again. I clutched the bag to my chest and wept.
“Alina.”
“Alina.”
“Alina.”
“... I’m sorry .” I whispered as I rocked myself in grief.