Archive of Our Own

He’d gotten off early from work, as it was the anniversary of the battle at Hogwarts, and he knew it was best to not leave Draco alone on that day. He always became quiet, too quiet. It worried him, and it was the only thing he could think about the entire time he was cleaning all of the snake’s cages. He hurried through them, knowing that Draco wouldn’t be expecting him home for another few hours yet, but he was hoping to surprise him. There didn’t seem to be much that could cheer him up on these days, but he thought if they could go out and take a walk around the pond, the change of scenery might help to keep his mind off of things.

Draco always loved the pond. He’d point out all of the different ducks and fish that rose to the surface, always excited to see the wild life, always excited to learn. One time, they had seen a turtle, and Draco had talked about it for the next two hours, asking him all sorts of questions that he didn’t have the answers to. He felt like he often didn’t have answers to Draco’s questions, all he could do was be there to share the moment with him.

He finally made it home and pushed the front door open. He couldn’t see Draco in the kitchen or living room, so he figured he must be in their bedroom, as that was the only other place he ever frequented. Once he’d set his bag down on the counter, he made his way towards their bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, and he could hear a soft, breathy crying from inside. His heart clenched, and he pushed the door open with the back of his hand, stepping inside.

Draco froze and stared up at him, eyes wide and rosy tinted, while his cheeks were slick with tears. His arm was still suspended mid-air, partially covered with a cloth wrapping that Draco was half-way through applying. The part of his arm that was still visible was a dull, red color, with large patches of white, scalded skin that had started to peel backwards and flake away, revealing the bloody flesh beneath. Near the center of his arm, his dark mark was still visible, shining through his glossy, weeping skin. The mark had faded to an off red color over the years, but it refused to vanish entirely.

The cloth bandages were starting to turn red, as they stuck and clung to his raw, blistered skin. Draco was shaking, as he averted his eyes, a sharp whimper escaping him, as if he knew he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

“Love.” His breath caught in his throat, as he crossed the distance between them and sat down beside him on the bed. “Shh. I’m here. Let me see, Darling, let me see.”

Draco wouldn’t meet his eye, as he clenched his fingers into a trembling fist and moved his arm over. “I’m… I’m s-sorry.”

He supported his arm with one hand, making sure he wasn’t touching any of the tender areas, as he began to unwrap the bandage. “Shh. It's okay now. I've got you. Can you tell me what happened, Darling?” He kept his voice soft, not wanting to sound accusatory or upset, as that was the last thing Draco needed right now.

The skin on Draco’s arm started to tear away with the bandage, causing fresh blood to ooze up around the sores, as Draco let out a pained whine, cutting off what he was about to say. He cursed under his breath and paused, wondering how he was going to get this off without hurting him further. "I'm so sorry, Darling." He traced small circles over the back of his hand, hoping to calm and soothe him, while he attempted to figure out what to do.

Draco was pressed up against him, his breaths sharp and shallow, as he tried to hold back his sobs. “I… I just… I wanted it gone.”

He glanced up at Draco, feeling his heart clenching. “Oh, Love. But it’s your skin.” Deciding magic was the way to go, he pulled his wand out and cast a non-verbal separation charm, so the bandage would loosen and fall away.

Once he had a clear view of his arm without the bandage smothering everything, he started to heal all of the damage he could see, moving his wand in small, circle motions above the burned area. The boils flattened and his inflamed skin returned to its normal color, as everything melded back together. Draco still wasn’t looking at him, although his quiet sobs had died down some.

Now that everything was healed, he ran his hand over his arm, pausing over his mark. “Love. Can you look at me?”

Draco gradually raised his gaze, although he wore a timid expression and his eyes were full of shame. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I just want you to stop hating yourself over something that you had no control over. Because it’s… It’s over, Draco. You’re not there anymore. You’re here with me, and I love you. I love all of you, and you don’t need to try and boil your skin off to get rid of it.” He brought Draco’s arm to his lips, letting them brush over his skin and linger against the outline of his mark, a silent acknowledgement of acceptance. “Please, Love. It’s just a bit of ink. You can’t let it control you anymore than it already has.”

Draco’s eyes were watery, as he stared down at him. “Why?”

“Don’t let it have that power anymore, Love. It’s nothing. Do you understand me? It is nothing , but a bit of ink. Don’t let it be anything more than that. Don’t give it even a moment’s thought, it doesn’t deserve that from you. Don’t let it take any more joy from you. Why should it?” He took Draco’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, his fingers tracing the outline of his knuckles. “It’s not a reflection of who you are. It never was, and it never will be. You are so good , Draco. So, so good. And you don’t need to hurt anymore.”

After a brief pause, Draco looked back down at the mark, his lower lip wobbling. “It’s just… Just an old blemish?” He sounded as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

“Yes. That’s all it is now. That’s all you’re going to let it be. We’re not going to let it have any more power, are we?”

Draco wiped at his eyes and sniffed loudly, before he shook his head.

He leaned over and pressed a kiss against his cheek, before he took him into his arms, wrapping him up, so he'd be snug and warm. They both sat in silence for a long moment, while Draco curled up against him, his fingers clenched in the fabric of his shirt. Once Draco’s breathing finally evened out, he whispered into his ear, “Would you like to have a bath? I thought we could go to the ponds later.”

His eyes flicked upwards, lingering on his face, before he nodded. “I like the ponds.”

“I know you do, Darling.” He unwrapped himself from Draco’s arms and got up, pressing a long, tender kiss against the top of his head, before he made his way towards the bathroom, so he could start his water.