Chapter Text
It was the summer Kinn had turned 27 but for some reason, he was sitting on the backbench of his father’s car like he was 16 again while they were heading to the resort. The resort happened to be the hotspot of Thailand’s elite to make the most important business deals of the year.
After having been able to not join his father on these trips for years this time Kinn had been forced to come along because his father was preparing for him to take over their business affairs as the head of the family. Although he knew it was his duty to fill in this role, Kinn didn’t think he could ever be as great as his dad – Korn Theerapanyakul was just too big of a man.
“Isn’t it nice to be back here?”, Tankhun leaned over to him, “I am glad you joined us.”
To underline his words, his older brother squeezed his shoulder and Kinn didn’t have to force his smile when he looked at the other one. This was one of the rare occasions where Tankhun was actually capable to leave their family mansion after being traumatized as a young teenager. Then again, it was only a small change in his routine because he would also mostly stay inside their house at the resort until they would leave for Bangkok again – he even got his usual bodyguards Pol and Arm to accompany him.
“I am glad I came with you too. I hope you will have some time to spare to play cards with me?”, Kinn asked almost shyly.
As children, they had spent entire days at the resort just playing card games and eating ice cream. This nostalgia did actually help with Kinn’s bad mood especially because Tankhun’s face lit up at his request.
“Oh, we can explain the rules to Arm and Pol…but badly so we can at least win the first few rounds”, Tankhun chimed in joyfully.
“But Khun, isn’t that a little mean?”
Despite his objection, they both exchanged a mischievous look. As children, they had been known infamously as the terrors of the resort.
“Yeah, but consider it’s also funny.”
His older brother smiled at him and Kinn wished he could see the other one lighthearted like this more often. It was a good look on Tankhun who so often was plagued by the nightmares of the past.
“Tay and Time can also join us when they come over next week.”
The prospect of his best friends showing up was one of the few things that kept Kinn sane – apart from at least having his brother by his side. He downright hated these pretentious get-togethers at the resort where everyone acted like such good friends just to turn around and gossip the living hell out of each other the next second. Nevertheless, Kinn had a very fixed role to play in this ecosystem and he wouldn't let his father down – failure was never an option as a Theerapanyakul.
“Oh but Tay was always such a bad winner when we were small”, Tankhun complained.
“Maybe you were just a bad loser”, Kinn teased without paying it much mind.
“Hey, I am still your older brother. Show some respect.”
Tankhun's grin told him that he was not really mad at Kinn.
“It's just sad that Kim didn't tag along. The little devil was always so good at coming up with new rules. He always kept us on our toes.”
That last sentence was an understatement if Kinn had ever heard one. He was hit by vivid flashbacks of small Kim who loved to run away and hide every chance he had gotten for one excruciating long summer long – scaring them all to death, especially after what had happened to Tankhun. Then again, nothing much had changed with Kim who these days preferred to stay hidden away from their family most of the time. However, Kinn couldn’t blame him for that – he sometimes even was a bit jealous of his free-spirited younger brother who seemed to really have emancipated himself from their family business.
Before he could come up with a proper answer to Tankhun’s statement, Chan in the driver's seat announced: “We are here.”
The resort looked pretty much the same as the last time Kinn had been here. When they got out of the car the owner of the resort, Mr Salae, was already waiting to welcome them – the stage had been set perfectly as expected. After Kinn had greeted Mr Salae himself as it was his duty, his father kept exchanging unimportant pleasantries with the other old man and Kinn looked around to take in the scenery. While doing so his eyes landed on a young man who was just unloading his luggage from the trunk.
“Wait, I’ll take that myself”, Kinn told the employee and reached for his bag.
“But sir, that’s really not necessary–”
“I insist”, Kinn replied with – what he hoped was – a kind smile.
“Here, you can carry my bag”, his brother offered pointing elegantly at one of his turquoise suitcases.
Following that, Tankhun announced to anybody who wanted to hear: “I should have brought more clothes.”
Kinn didn’t laugh at that statement although he knew that another car would reach the resort shortly after them that was filled solely with his brother’s luggage. The reason why he didn’t laugh was that he knew that Tankhun mainly expressed himself through his clothes and that they were a great comfort to him – Kinn wanted for his older brother to feel comfortable in his skin above all else.
“You know we can always send a message home if you miss something particular and they can bring it here”, Kinn told Tankhun who nodded contently.
A few minutes later, Kinn had settled into his room but wanted to check if they still needed to take care of something upon their arrival. In the entrance hall, he ran into the resort employee again who seemed to be on his way out.
“Excuse me, I think I didn’t catch your name before.”
The other man looked at him a bit dumbfounded before replying: “My name is Pete.”
“Nice to meet you, Pete. Thanks for your help with our luggage. My brother was very enchanted by how careful you handled his things”, Kinn held out a 1000฿ bill to him and Pete thanked him with a politely bend head.
“One, two, three, four! To the left! One, two, three, four! To the right!”
Although he was trying so hard, Kinn had trouble following the simple instructions of the dance teacher who was a glamorous lady called Yok. However, he tried his hardest to not look like an absolute clown while it was blatantly obvious how many eyes were on him. This was the first social event his father had sent him off to after they only had been at the resort for not more than an hour. The dancefloor was crowded with a wild mix of people from his age to his father’s age and beyond. Kinn was sure that a lot of them knew his face and he in return, of course, did also know some of them – noblesse or rather money oblige and all that.
Before the class had started he had held polite small talk with a small group that had gone to the same college as him. However, Kinn had rather quickly realised why he wasn’t in touch with them anymore – because they had nothing in common except that they came from wealthy families. All of a sudden, he was plagued by the thought that his father would want him to pick a spouse maybe not from this particular crowd but from their ranks. It was good for business if two families were joined in marriage but it was seldom good for the heart.
“Now, we are gonna build a circle”, Yok’s voice cut right through his thoughts.
Kinn almost tripped over his own feet when he tried to follow her command. Normally, he wasn’t that bad of a dancer even if he wasn’t the best dancer alive. Of course, growing up he had had classes on dances that were important in their social circle and he had always been doing decent in said classes – not that his father would have accepted anything less. However, something about this particular dance and this rather stressful environment did neither work out in his brain nor in his feet.
“When I say stop you are gonna find the man of your dreams”, Yok called out to the ladies but Kinn couldn’t help and look around too if there wasn’t someone at least sort of interesting – there wasn’t.
Before he properly refocused on the task at hand a tiny old lady dragged him over by his waist with surprisingly strong hands. Kinn didn’t have much of a choice but to dance with her then because causing a scene by refusing wasn’t an option. Moreover, the woman probably had known him since he had been a little kid so he really didn’t want to be rude. So instead of resisting, Kinn put on his best heir-of-the-family-business-smile which also happened to look rather charming and joined the old lady’s dancing steps.
“Oh, you remind me so much of your mother, Kinn. You have her eyes”, his dance partner told him almost affectionately.
Kinn’s smile only froze for like a split second before he was in control of his emotions again. He just wasn’t used to hearing people talk about his mother or comparing him to her and that being a positive thing. Most people just stopped talking about your parent if you lost them at such a young age because most people can’t handle grief or death – Kinn never had had that privilege of not being able to deal with heartbreaks like that.
“Thank you, aunty”, he replied with a bow of his head which earned him the sweetest smile from the old lady.
Following that, Kinn had to bite his lip to not ask her any questions about how or how well she had known his mother. At this moment, he had to be his father’s perfect heir and that wasn’t compatible with being his mother’s grieving son.
Somehow, Kinn had survived the dancing class without falling flat on his face. Therefore, he could still show himself in the great dining hall without being the talk of the resort. Nonetheless, he would have preferred to have dinner with Tankhun back at their house instead of having to sit through this evening like his father’s favourite parade horse.
“Did you enjoy the food, Kinn?”, Tawan leaned over to him way too close, “I know you always liked it spicier. ”
Kinn had to fight the deep urge to push him away because he had to keep up appearances. Moreover, Tawan’s uncle who happened to be Mr Salae was seated opposite him and was obviously watching them from the corner of his eyes.
“It was very delicious. I have to compliment you on your cooks”, Kinn replied with cold politeness.
However, Tawan had always been either painfully oblivious to Kinn’s many rejections of his advances or Tawan still thought that Kinn was playing hard to get. During their college times, Tawan had tried so many times to become his boyfriend that Kinn had almost pitied him – if he hadn’t been aware that Tawan was more in love with his name and his inheritance than he had ever been with Kinn himself.
This was the first time in years that they had spent so much time in close proximity and Kinn had to realize that Tawan was apparently still very determined on becoming at least his first husband. Right at that moment, the other man came closer again to squeeze his arm as if they were close friends or even more.
“You will accompany me to the dancing hall, right? Everybody must be so eager to see you here after you abandoned us for so many summers.”
On top of everything, Tawan was now looking at him with the most tragic puppy eyes while he pouted at Kinn. Kinn just wanted to retire to his room and read or watch some drama with Khun but one glance at his father told him that that needed to wait for another day.
“I would gladly do that. I could use a drink.”
So he followed Tawan out of the dining hall who used the first opportunity to hook his arm through Kinn’s. At least, the other one didn’t try to force him into a conversation while they were walking over to the dancing hall. Of course, that changed the second they could see the dancing crowd.
“You will ask me for a dance, won’t you, Kinn?”
Tawan looked up to Kinn through his lashes and really tried to make his good looks work for him – but a rotten apple was still a rotten apple no matter how pretty his peal looked.
“I would rather not. I prefer to watch”, Kinn said as neutral as humanly possible while pulling his arm out of Tawan’s grasp.
“Oh, if you like to watch I am pretty sure when can arrange something as well”, the other man replied quick-wittedly with a suggestive grin on his lips.
Tawan’s attempts at flirting were so desperate they made him look pathetic. However, even without his father’s watchful eyes on him Kinn still couldn’t be openly rude to him – they were still surrounded by enough other pairs of watchful eyes that were oh-so hungry for gossip.
“Anyway”, apparently Tawan had grown tired of waiting for an answer, “I'll go to the bathroom real quick. Unless you want to join me…”
“I’ll be waiting at the bar”, Kinn called out over his shoulder already on his way to finally get some alcohol to numb himself.
The familiar heaviness of the scotch on his tongue calmed Kinn down more than it should – but this was really not the right environment to reflect on his coping mechanisms. He prayed that Tawan would stay away for a while so he could at least relax a little bit.
Despite everything, he had to admit that the band playing at the dancing hall was really good. It wasn’t his taste in music per se but he could appreciate people knowing their craft anyway. Looking through the crowd he was yet again met by some familiar faces. Although one dancing couple of children that were way too young to be dancing that good did distract him there for a second – that was probably one of the reasons why he missed the appearance of his cousin next to him.
“I see Tawan is on to you again. And did you reject him again?”, Vegas asked him like they were casually talking about the weather.
His cousin always had had a thing for appearing out of nowhere and had, therefore, always won when they had been playing hide&seek as children. So Kinn wasn’t really startled at his appearance because he was pretty used to this kind of behaviour – used to Vegas making himself smaller than he actually was.
“I guess I did. I tried at least”, he replied in the same nonchalant tone of voice that implied some sort of familiarity.
Lately, they had established some kind of truce between the two of them and they were working pretty well side by side in the family business. However, Kinn still hoped that it could grow into mutual respect one day despite their fathers' machinations. They had pitied the two cousins against each other ever since they had entered high school – although this had for once been more of his uncle’s than his father’s making.
“So he will try to get into my pants next?”
They were still not facing each other both still eyeing the dancing crowd while Kinn took another sip of his drink.
“I guess. I mean you could still run away.”
Now, he looked over to his cousin who was glancing back uninterested which was part of his public mask. In spite of their current peace, Kinn was still aware of Vegas’ jealousy that was so unnecessary – sometimes he wished he could tell his cousin that directly. Before words could escape his mouth that he probably shouldn’t be saying in this room Tawan was sauntering over to them.
The three of them engaged in a conversation that was absolutely deprived of any deeper meaning whatsoever. At least, that made it possible for Kinn to follow it only half-heartedly as he waited for the time in the evening when it would be okay to finally retire to the house without being impolite.
He was sipping on his second drink as the crowd seemed to part which caught his attention. Discreetly, Kinn tried to find out why the people were making space or rather for whom they were making space. Some of them even stopped dancing altogether to apparently watch something unfold in the middle of the room.
When Kinn’s eyes finally found him, he immediately understood why so many people would go out of their way for him – in another lifetime, they must have bowed to him. Right there on the dance floor was the most beautiful man Kinn had ever seen in his entire life and if that wasn’t enough, that man also appeared to be a talented dancer. Kinn had to pull himself together not to twist his neck too obviously while he tried not to let the dancer out of his sight.
“Who are they?”, he managed to ask Tawan who blinked at him confused until he seemed to understand that he meant the dancers.
Meanwhile, the dancer was spinning around Yok and the two of them made a wonderful couple. Kinn had often wished to be somebody else but never as bad as in this particular moment – he could imagine himself in Yok’s place. Although Kinn also didn’t miss the dancer looking over at another handsome man more than once which awoke a jealous feeling in Kinn’s chest to which he really wasn’t entitled to.
“Oh, those are only our best dance instructors: Yok and Porsche. They are supposed to engage the crowd in the evenings”, Tawan didn’t sound like he was very fond of the two of them.
The other man went on to tell him something but Kinn didn’t pay him much mind because he was too mesmerized by the dancer – too mesmerized by Porsche .