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There was a knock at the door.
Patton startled and hurriedly wiped at his face.
No one had knocked on his door in several days.
Could it be Roman? He hadn't answered when Patton had tried to check on him, but maybe he wanted to talk now?
Or maybe Logan? Patton had tried to talk to him, but every time he tried Logan had just brushed him off. Patton didn't know why, but maybe Logan was ready to explain?
Or, or Virgil? Virgil was... upset with him lately, for some reason. Every time Patton had tried talking to him he'd leave the room, or if he couldn't, he'd just be rude instead. Maybe he came to tell him what was wrong?
Patton rushed to the door, trying to make sure there weren't any tears left on his face.
He swung open the door just as Janus lifted his hand to knock again.
Patton tried not to show his heartbreak on his face.
"Oh- oh hi Janus!" There was an awkward pause as Patton tried to ask Janus why he was there, but his voice got caught in his throat.
"...Hello Patton." Janus stared at him. "May I come in?"
After another slight pause in which Patton could not think of a feasible reason to not to, Patton said, "Um, sure!"
He opened the door a little further so Janus could enter. "Sorry, it's a little messy." Janus stepped inside and looked around and Patton rushed to the nearest chair to clear it off.
"Sorry! Sorry, I just- I'll just move this stuff-" Patton grabbed the stack of papers and photos and moved it to the nearest available surface, which happened to be a desk that was also covered in papers. He tried to set the pile on top of everything, but in his haste he accidentally knocked the entire pile onto the floor, scattering papers everywhere. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Janus, just let me clean this up-"
"Patton." Janus crouched in front of Patton, who was kneeling on the floor, desperately trying to re-stack the papers.
Patton was crying again, he knew it, but he was diligently looking down and pretending he wasn't, hoping that Janus wouldn't notice. He reached for the next paper, and froze. It was an earlier version of the famILY card he'd made for Virgil. His hand hovered over it, shaking slightly. A tear dripped off his face and landed on the card with a tap.
"Patton." He'd never heard Janus speak so softly before. He didn't know he could. He felt a gloved hand under his chin, and let Janus tilt his face up to meet his eyes.
They sat there for a moment, Janus's face full of pity as Patton's breath hitched several times.
"Oh, dear..."
Patton fell forward and sobbed into Janus's arms. "I- I'm s-orry-"
"Shhhh," Janus whispered. "You don't need to apologize, it's okay, you're okay." Janus's arms were tightly wrapped around him, gently rocking him back and forth. A third hand carded through his hair and a fourth rubbed his back.
"But I'm not okay, I'm n- ot, n- no one will talk to m- e any- more, and, and I haven't left my room in days- I-"
"I know, dear, I know," Janus interrupted softly. "That's why I came to check on you. The silence hasn't been deafening." His hand paused in Patton's hair for a moment, then he continued. "It's certainly your fault, and not mine."
"W- what?" Patton sniffed, looking up at Janus.
Janus still held Patton, but let him lean back so they could face each other. "It's not like being friendly towards me is what's driving the others away."
"No, no! That's not-"
"It's their fault for not trusting me, something totally unfounded, by the way, I'm incredibly trustworthy, it's their fault for not trusting you to make good judgements, another thing that hasn't recently been called into question, not by me, and it's my fault-" Janus's eyes grew shiny, and he looked down and continued quietly, "it's my fault for not being able to leave you to deal with this alone."
Now, Patton was crying for a different reason. "Janus-"
"Don't apologize again," Janus hissed. "None of this is your fault."
"But I am sorry," said Patton, leaning back into Janus's arms. "I..." he took a shuddering breath. "I just wish..." That none of this had happened. That anyone would talk to him. That he hadn't messed up. That Janus had never...
Never...
"...I wish we could all be a family again."
Janus tucked himself around Patton, closing his eyes to prevent any tears. "I know."
He began rocking them slowly back and forth again, and Patton's eyes started to close too, his energy spent.
"Me too."