Chapter Text
Roller Derby's not just a sport, it's a lifestyle.
It's a tight-knit community of women who like to get all dressed up in kneepads and tights and knock each other around on a slanted track. The teams are about as close as any team for any sport can get. And the DeadlySpirits are the best roller derby team anyone can hope to be on, Asami thinks. She also thinks Republic City, by far, has the best banked track derby rink in maybe the entire world.
She's not at all biased by the fact that it's where she played her first game ever, back when she was on her ass more often than not and she hadn't figured out she has a natural talent for being a jammer.
The Republic City rink itself is kind of old, bits of it falling apart. And the track could be better, has these little spots you can snag on if you're not paying attention or just used to it. But what really sells it is the Republic City crowd. It is objectively the best crowd any roller derby league could ask for. There's nothing like skating out to thousands of cheers thundering through the rink to get anyone pumped up for a game. Asami feels like she's a part of something greater, like she's elevated, when she skates in. It's fucking amazing.
Tonight's bout starts no different than any other — the ref blows the first whistle and the blockers take off, then the opposing jammer turns to Asami and says, "Try to keep up bitch-face," and then the second whistle blows and Asami makes it through the pack first.
The thing is — Asami's one of the best jammers to ever play the game. She's just that good, and it's not even her bragging, it's everyone telling her she is. It's not surprising, though. Since her father got put away she's dedicated almost one-hundred percent of her time to the sport. It was just helping to cope at first, but then it became a part of who she is. She even did a year outside Republic City but the competition wasn't half as good, and the skaters weren't nearly as talented. They were... nice enough, they had heart, they just didn't have the skill the players have in the city.
Well, there were a few notable players - Asami actually met the best blocker the DeadlySpirits have back in Zaofu and convinced her to come with her to Republic City. Kuvira's practically unstoppable now and Asami wouldn't have it any other way.
"You're really on your shit today," Kuv says as Asami skates to the bench for her first break. She nods to Coach Varrick to say she's ready whenever and shoots Kuv a half smile as a thanks.
She's going over everything in her head - all the shit they need to do now and all the shit they need to practice later. Their formation's a little weak on one side and they're lacking the type of coordination they had at the end of last season, but things could be worse. As far as first games go, this has been a fairly good one.
And then Asami's back out there, dodging hips and swirling around shoulders. She gets clipped by one hip, pressed to the bar, but she doesn't go down, just picks back up and swivels around the blocker, rolls in for an extra four points. Afterwards, she skates to the bench all red cheeks and smiles. She's just happy to be playing again after the longest break ever. "Good job, ladies!" she says between ragged breaths and gulps of water. "Lets just tighten up a bit, control the pack, and bring home the first win."
There's a bit of cheering from the girls and then coach comes over to Asami. "They're putting in the rookie as jammer," he says.
Which is, unusual. Putting in the rookie when the team is up is one thing, but putting in the rookie when the team is down is - basically throwing the game. Asami glances over and - well, okay. The rookie isn't exactly what she expects. She's used to nerves and general awkwardness, but this girl is - she's entirely sure of herself, or at least looks it. And she's... cute. Short hair and bright eyes, toned - really toned - and she has a great jaw and perfect body and fuck, Asami's staring.
If they're actually throwing her in there she probably at least has some since of what she's doing, so Asami needs to stay focused. The girl is still a rookie no matter how good she is, so Asami can probably get in her head.
She skates back to the track, positions behind the blockers and flashes a smile to the new girl. She's normally not much for talking to the opposing team, but she can't help herself for some reason. "What's the name?" she asks, and makes sure it sounds like she doesn't actually care.
The girl blinks slowly, just taking Asami in, and then she says, "Korra," and her voice comes out as nothing but confidence and aggression and she's obviously way better than Asami at making it seem like she doesn't care even though she only said one word. It makes Asami want to put her in her place more than anything else. Which is weird since it's just a rookie, but whatever. She's a bit competitive.
"Just Korra?" Asami asks, and Korra shrugs. She's about as nonchalant as they come. Who the fuck is this girl.
"Haven't thought of anything cooler yet," Korra says, then she laughs a little. "You sure you're a derby girl? Didn't make a wrong turn looking for the beauty pageant?"
It's not that Asami hasn't heard that before, but coming from Korra it just seems particularly rude. "Well, Korra," Asami says, extra emphasis on her dumb name, "this pretty face is about to be the only good thing about your night."
She winks as the first whistle blows and the blockers take off. And Korra laughs again. She actually loosens up and it's the first time Asami's seen her not look so tense and, well, Korra's really pretty and her eyes sparkle when she laughs and Asami should definitely not be noticing either of those things. "You know," Korra says and leans close enough that Asami can see just how blue her eyes are, "I'd still count that as a win." She flashes a lop-sided grin, and it may be the craziest thing in the world, but Asami has to actively stop herself from ogling.
That was - um. "Oh." she says, distracted in the worst way, and she doesn't quite hear the second whistle. And that's how she loses a jam to a rookie for the first time. It's embarrassing, really.
Her head's back in it for the next jam, though — except Korra's all up in her shit from the get-go. It makes Asami feel defensive, like she's trapped and getting angrier by the minute. She wants to lash out in no particular direction, but she needs to keep it together. Korra just keeps it up, being smug and saying random shit, all mocking and fucking confident. Asami can't even jab back anymore, manages to trip over her own skates right next to Korra and then Korra's laughing at her, "Good one, Asami. Keep it up."
Right before the next jam starts Korra looks at her and says, "You know, you are really pretty," and it pisses Asami off way more than it should. Like, to the point where it's affecting her game. It's just, Korra's an all-out hooligan and she needs to be stopped. She keeps saying shit like that, flirty shit - even slams Asami into the bar, rubs against her and flashes a smile to the crowd, and the crowd goes ape shit. And there's this desperate feeling flooding through Asami trying to block it all out and stay focused, because her body's actually into it and responding in ways she doesn't want it to. She's only human and Korra is - she's attractive, alright.
Asami doesn't - she doesn't really have a good come back for it, she's just sort of lost and on her back foot the rest of the game. She can't go head-to-head with Korra in spewing out random shit because Asami's pretty sure if she just yelled out anything currently running through her mind, that everyone would automatically know one-hundred percent that she's not joking. They'd see just how fucking flustered she really is. So she just decides to keep her mouth shut.
And the DeadlySpirits lose their first bout of the season. To a rookie a jammer.
~~~
Asami's a flirt, generally. That's not the problem.
She's flirted with boys, with men, with cheerleaders and with waitresses. She's even flirted with education, and instruments, and briefly with engineering. However, she's never flat-out flirted with the enemy. But the whole thing was still relatively tame compared to all the other shit that's been spit in her face. So she doesn't know exactly what the problem was.
"First of all, that wasn't flirting," Zhu Li explains. "That was a rookie catching you off guard. Shit I wish I could have snapped a picture of your face."
Asami shoves Zhu's shoulder and slaps her with a couch pillow. "Whatever, the only reason you're getting play-time is because you're dating coach," she says, and it's kind of a low blow, but she's sensitive about the Korra thing.
"I'm not dating Varrick," Zhu Li says.
And Kuvira laughs on the other end of the couch as she sing-songs, "Do the thing, Zhu Li, do the thing! What the hell does that even mean?"
Zhu Li rolls her eyes and slumps into the couch even more. "Whatever, refs need to tell Lin to watch the elbows, nearly took my tooth out."
"Su and Lin can both eat a fat one as far as I'm concerned," Kuvira pouts and Asami stops listening for a bit, her mind drifting back to Korra.
Korra's fast, sure — but she's not as good as Asami. She's pretty much all power and no form, no technique. There's no reason for Asami to have been off her game, but she can't shake it. She can't shake Korra's blue eyes and her soft voice and her hard as shit hip checks. The worst part is that losing this game was almost entirely Asami's fault. She knows it and the team knows it. She's been captain for two seconds and she's already blowing it. She can't let this rookie get to her like this, no matter how toned her arms are, or how perfectly soft her hair looks. Or how... delicious her lips might seem. Fuck.
"Asami, you're daydreaming again," Kuv says. "Just ask her out already."
"Fuck you," Asami shoots back, and then she doesn't bring up Korra for another week.
~~~
Except it's hard to just forget about Korra. First off, there's not enough teams in the league to just forget a face, especially not that face. And second — it's like Korra can't stop running her mouth about how good she is since she 'out-skated Asami Sato on her first go'. It's not like it's going to happen again, so she can talk all she wants. Asami's not worried about that, it's just. Shit, she's done so much to keep this league on its feet and she's put in so much work and now this rookie is coming in and shaking her up and talking shit when Asami's the one that even made it possible for girls like Korra to get a chance at tasting what it's like being on the track.
So. Yeah, she's a little pissed off that some ego-boosted little brat is skating around on all the foundation that Asami helped lay and she's not even bothering to show a little fucking appreciation. Whatever.
And Korra seemed so…well, in game she wasn't quite abraisive. She didn't talk like she was the best or better than anyone for that matter. All she did was compliment Asami the entire time, and it was baffling, really. Ugh. Maybe that's the real problem. Asami just can't get a good read on Korra, sort of feels like she's on the wrong foot, standing in the back and looking stupid as Korra plays some game that Asami can't figure out the rules to.
It's fine, though. She just needs to get her head back in the game. She just needs to get her mind off Korra. It's almost a mantra now, she keeps telling herself it and kind of hoping she can just stick to it. The loss was hard to deal with - is hard to deal with, but it happens. Shit happens and she just needs to get over it.
Getting over it is actually easier than she thinks.
After the first loss, the DeadlySpirits go on a winning streak, partly because Asami's basically all focus and determination, and partly due to a fantastic combination of hard work and a little bit of luck. They nearly lose a bout, but then they snatch it back and all that does is fuel their fire even more, everyone pumped to crush whatever else comes their way this season. The rookies on the other teams are good this year, but the bulk of them don't have Asami worried too much. None of them as much as Korra, but Asami's got faith in her team, and more importantly, a restored faith in herself. She's not only ready to face Korra again, but looking forward to it.
The team is getting drinks after a particularly good game when Kuv asks, "You ready to take on Korra again?" And she's grinning like there's some kind of joke that Asami's not in on. The game isn't actually for another few days, but everyone is talking about it — the first time Asami and Korra face-off again since the unexpected loss. It's like, making headlines and showing up on blogs and random people in the street that don't even know what roller derby really is are now talking about it. It's all sort of scary and exhilarating all at once and Asami's got everything to lose and Korra has everything to gain.
On second thought, maybe Asami isn't exactly looking forward to this. She forces a laugh and chugs the rest of her drink for good measure. "I thought I was," she says. And it sounds a bit vulnerable even to her own ears.
Kuv just sips her drink and shrugs it off. "You'll be fine. I'm sure of it."
Asami is - well, she's not so sure.
~~~
This whole thing is one of those situations where the weight of it kind of sneaks up on her. Asami escapes to her father's house the next day, the house the other girls don't know about. It's big and spacious and maybe considered a mansion and is what Asami now associates with everything bad in life. She comes here, though, because it's quiet. It's quiet and she needs to think about shit. So she lounges around all day and watches a couple episodes of Law and Order before she gets bored of it and turns to Netflix.
It makes her stomach hurt, but she can admit to herself the sick truth of the situation. Korra got the best of her - in everything. She outplayed her and she managed to get into Asami's head. On top of that, Asami can't stop thinking about her. If it's not going over strategy or replaying the game in her head, she's thinking about Korra's smile and Korra's soft hands and her soft hair and lips and every fucking thing about her. She likes Korra, is the thing. She's likes her flirting and her shit-talkng and her confidence. She's cute and funny and quick on her feet and has that face that Asami wouldn't mind waking up to. But, this is a game. This is all just a game to Korra and she's just the rookie trying to make a name for herself by taking down the league's biggest player. And Asami's just making it easy for her. It's -
Asami's heart jumps when her phone rings, and she's tempted to not answer it, but it looks like it's just Kuv so there's no real harm. "Asami," she says, securing the phone to her ear with her shoulder as she goes back to flipping through a magazine.
"Satomobile!" Kuvira yells, and Asami drops the phone in her lap. "Um, so, I just uh — "
Asami's putting the phone back to her ear when she hears Korra's voice and freezes. "That's not really her is it?" Korra says, then Kuvira hums and Korra adds, "Fuck you, K."
K. It's not K, it's Kuv. And why is Korra hanging out with Asami's friend. More importantly why is the enemy hanging out with her teammate. "So you'll never guess who I ran into at the bar," Kuv says, and then both her and Korra are laughing like they're old friends with inside jokes and secret handshakes and stories about things that happened in middle school. Fuck both of them. "So we've had a bit to drink, mind giving us a lift?"
Of course Asami minds. She puts on something decent and hops in her car, anyway.
The bar isn't crowded, which means it's easy to spot the two giggling idiots sitting at a back table being louder than everyone else. Asami's sort of annoyed, is the thing, but when she locks eyes with Korra she's instantly nervous. A million things run through her mind like her hair and make-up and like. Shit, her hands are all sweaty and her heart's beating fast. And she needs a drink. Except she can't get a drink since she's driving - which, is the whole reason she's here.
"Get over here, Sams," Kuv says, dramatically waving her over to the table and Korra leans back in her chair, just staring with an easy grin on her face. Asami can't tell if she's being smug or if she's just really drunk. She hopes Korra's just drunk because she can't deal with smug right now. Her legs are at least working properly, thankfully. Maybe this can actually go well.
"What's up with you two?" Asami asks when she makes it to the table, trying not to look and sound as impatient as she feels.
"Take a seat," Kuv says and Korra snorts, burying her laugh in her beer.
"What's so funny?" Asami snaps, and then Kuv's laughing too. It's - it's making Asami angry, and she doesn't need this. She came here to help them and now they're just being assholes. "Alright, whatever. You want the lift or not?"
"You owe me twenty," Korra says suddenly, and when Kuv shakes her head Korra's jaw drops. Her teeth are perfect. Everything about her is perfect. It's not fair. "C'mon, you call this easy going? She's as stiff here as she was in the bout."
Kuv rolls her eyes and slaps a twenty on the table and then she excuses herself and Korra and Asami are alone for the first time in... ever, actually. It's even cute the way Korra sips her beer. "So how bad am I gonna get it in this game?" she asks.
Asami shrugs, aiming for nonchalant, but falling short. "I'm not going easy on you."
"Good," Korra says. "Last game was a snoozefest."
"What's your deal?" Asami blurts, and Korra sets her beer down all serious like.
"Take a seat."
"No," Asami says, and then Korra tilts her head, which has her reconsidering her decision. Before she can sit, though, the Beifongs suddenly are all up in her shit.
"We're here for our rookie," Lin says with about as much feeling as a cactus. They can have her. Asami doesn't want her anyway.
Su wraps an arm around Korra and helps lift her and Korra stops them both before they can walk away. She places a hand on Asami's cheek, looks at her all considering, and even smiles a little. Before Asami even realizes it, she's returning the smile. And then Korra leans forward and says, "I'm going to enjoy kicking your ass again. You stay cute, though, Asami."
"Oh my God, you're so fucking — " Asami starts, but she's cut off by the sound of Kuvira laughing over her shoulder and Korra being escorted out of hearing distance. "I don't know what her problem is, it's like she's torturing me." She knows it sounds like she's whining, but this girl is really getting under her skin.
Kuvira just pulls on her arm and says, "Come on, we'll give 'em hell, alright. I owe Su a couple bruises, anyway."
~~~
Roller Derby's been growing lately in Republic City, and with the popularity comes the press. Asami's normally used to the media frenzy right before or after a big game, but this year is something else entirely. And, honestly, it's all Korra. There hasn't been a 'rivalry' this entertaining maybe ever in the derby scene, and the papers and blogs and sports-sites are all eating it right up. But this rivalry is like, all in Korra's head, and Asami's just stuck in the middle of it, unfortunately. She's woken early the next morning by her phone ringing, beeping loudly on the table next to her bed.
"Yeah, what's up?" she answers, rubbing her hand over her face to force herself awake. She's positive if she stops she'll just fall asleep sitting up in her bed.
"Hey, Sams," Mako says, and Asami's instantly more alert. Until now she hasn't really been contacted for a statement on Korra, but this is definitely what this call's about. Which, it could be worse actually. There can be some real scums trying to cover stories on the derby scene, but Mako's a good writer, and more importantly — he's a good person. He started right around the time Asami started derby and she'd give him a good story and he'd give her good press. Something about making each other's careers seems to foster a decent friendship. She can at least be sure he's not trying to fuck her over, and he can count on something honest most times from Asami.
"So, tomorrow night. You, Korra, and — "
"Not you too, Mako," Asami grumbles, but not at all surprised. She sort of didn't expect him to jump right in, but this is all anyone is talking about and it is his job to be on top of shit like that.
"Give me something else good, then. And I'll back off," he says.
Asami crawls out of bed and heads toward the bathroom, tries not to roll her eyes. "I think I've gotten a little better at figuring out how to lead the girls since last year. And everyone is stepping their game up this year. I mean Zhu Li and Kuvira have become a real force to be considered."
"I said interesting," Mako says, laughing. "Not shit I can get just from watching a game. C'mon give me something to work with."
Asami sighs, dramatically enough that she knows Mako understands he's being annoying. "Fine, the Metal Banshees won't go far if they stay so dependent on the Beifongs."
"Alright, that's better. What do you mean by that?"
"I mean Su and Lin are strong, yeah — but have you seen Kuvira lately? It's like she came out of no where, like I don't even know how or where she's been practicing, but she could probably take on both of them at once if she wanted." Asami grabs a face wipe and starts rubbing her eyes. She should probably take her make-up off before bed, but it's not every night that she stays up late too distracted to sleep, constantly going over her game plan to outplay a fucking rookie. Or just, imagining her face - whichever.
Mako sighs and Asami knows what's coming. "So, that just leads us to Korra. C'mon Asami, you have to be at least a little worried. Her first game ever in the league and she shut down the biggest player."
"I was off my game," Asami says, and starts to head toward the Kitchen.
"Was that statement on the record, or off?"
Fuck, she's going to have to say something about it sooner or later. It's just not as simple as everyone wants it to be, but Asami's against the wall with this one. Part of her knows the real reason she lost to Korra, shit — all of her knows why. She can't say that to the press, though. And she also can't think of a good lie that doesn't sound like she just had her head too far up her own ass to even outplay a rookie.
"Mistakes were made," she says. "But it won't happen again. And that's on the record."
Mako knows when to back down, so he starts asking about future strategies and formations and weaknesses and Asami can relax a little as she answers the usual filler questions that she's used to filtering.
She's not fond of this kind of pressure. She likes derby because she likes the game. She's not in it for the fame or the press or the conflicts. She's in it for the rush and the adrenaline and when all of these politics jump into it, it just closes her up in a bad way. She knows no matter what she does this game it's going to make the papers — good or bad. And if it's good that means she needs to shut Korra down one way or another. Part of her is conflicted about going so hard after a rookie, part of her is conflicted about going hard after Korra in particular, but the biggest part of her is just ready to win this game. Maybe if she wins it'll all blow over and everyone will see Korra for the fluke she is.
Except, maybe she's not a fluke. Yeah, Asami wasn't really in it, but it's not like Korra was bad. She was actually really fucking good, and not just for a rookie - for a derby player in general. It's scary thinking about it, but this bout isn't necessarily a drop in the bucket for Asami.
"I don't know if you've heard," Mako says, "but Korra said she hopes you can give her an actual challenge the second time around."
"Of course," Asami says, feeling more drained and defeated by this whole thing than she's willing to admit to. Korra would be the type to talk shit to the press, she can't just leave it on the track or in bars or probably any-fucking-where else she sees Asami. She has to tell the whole world how she feels. Asami can't even give a come back. There's nothing she can say and she can't do shit about it, because she fucked up and she's disappointed in herself. But she knows she's better than that, and honestly it doesn't matter what a rookie has to say, anyway. "Alright, Mako. I need to eat something."
"Good luck out there, Sams."
"Yeah. Thanks."
Kuv calls next, and this time Asami's already primed for it, so it goes smoother in some ways. "I don't know why everyone's asking me about her. It's like people have never seen a team lose a game before."
"Yeah," Kuv says, stiffly, like she's got her jaw clenched. She never really lost that old Zaofu way of hers, still holding on to that hardass military-style-gated-community mentality. "It's not about losing the game, it's about you. You played perfectly and then Korra whispered some shit to you, and you barely scored another point."
"Well - " Asami starts, feeling sort of like she's backed into a corner.
"And I'm not sure if you're keeping up with it, but Korra's been cleaning house in all her other bouts as well. We've both gone undefeated since our last bout."
Of course Asami's keeping up. Of course Korra is doing well. If she wasn't this would be easy, and nothing in life is fucking easy. "Listen, I'm not saying I'll wipe the floor with her, but don't count me out, alright?"
"Okay," Kuv says. "It's on you, I'm there when you need me - just say the word."
"Yeah, I know."
~~~
Game day seems a lot bigger than it should. It's just a random game mid-season but Asami feels like it's a career decider. She's nothing but tension and focus all day, and then the moment the second whistle of the first jam blows, Korra slams against her and takes off, and Asami's immediately playing catch-up. It's not a great start, no, and it makes Asami feel uneasy, but she's ready this time, more level headed.
Korra's not changing her game, still slurring random shit around her mouth guard and getting up in Asami's ear every chance she gets.
"Asami, baby, you call that skating?" Korra says as they fight for a spot. And - if Asami's being honest with herself - it still kind of gets to her, like she thought it'd get old, but under that burn in her chest, behind that wall she's built up to just filter everything out, she's... flattered, really. She doesn't know Korra's motives, but she's persistent at least, and fucking skating her ass off while causing shit on the track.
Asami can't beat Korra on her own, and that's hard to admit but she knows she needs help. She eyes Kuv, then swallows around the lump in her throat and yells, "Moses!" and Kuvira shoulders the fuck out of Korra and Asami actually cringes at the way Korra goes down, tries not to think about it as she scores, wills herself to not look back and fight the urge to check and see if Korra's okay.
It was just a play. This is just a game. It's not bigger than that; it's never bigger than that.
The refs don't say anything about it, it was clean and — Korra could probably make a show of it, come after Asami even harder or more ruthless, but she just keeps her same confidence, her dumb smile and her stupid rookie smugness. She keeps sweet-talking around her mouth guard and it's — it's still getting under Asami's skin, yeah, but Asami also knows she has her team, knows she can pull this off if she works for it.
Thankfully, the DeadlySpirits manage the win. And Asami doesn't even have to field the media because the more pressing issue is the scrap Kuv got in with Su and how they both ended up with shiners in the penalty box. She'll have to yell at her teammate later about keeping her head in the game, but right now she's too drained, needs a drink, or four. Or a six day shower and a back-rub from a really hot girl that doesn't constantly shit-talk her.
She's in the parking lot, halfway to her car, when she spots Korra heading fast in her direction. Kuv shoots her a nod like she's some sort of secret service, but Asami waves her off and braces herself if Korra's trying to scrap. She doesn't necessarily like fighting, but she can definitely hold her ground. Even against Korra's biceps. Only, Korra doesn't really look like she's picking a fight, just stops in front of Asami, eyes wide like she came all this way with nothing to say.
"What do you want rookie?" Asami asks, keeps it formal, like she can hide how she feels better if she just doesn't say her name.
"You did great," Korra says and it - it seems genuine.
"Yeah, well our first game you got lucky. There's still shit you need to learn rook — er, Korra."
Korra hunches her shoulders and looks down at her hands like she's unsure of herself for the first time in front of Asami. But Asami doesn't trust it, doesn't trust Korra. She still remembers the gesture at the bar. "Well, maybe you can teach me some time," Korra says, looking back up.
"Look," Asami says, firmer than she intended, but that's probably better for getting her point across. "We're off the track, so cut the shit, will you? I've had enough of it tonight and keeping up with a rookie in and out of the rink isn't something I'm interested in. Just knock it off already."
"That wasn't. I wasn't — never mind," Korra says, and then she walks off before Asami can get anything else in.
Ugh, what the fuck is her deal. Korra's just a spinning wheel of complication and Asami is always playing catch-up. Always two steps behind. Asami is always two fucking steps behind and she hates it.
It doesn't help that Kuv's at her door first thing in the morning. "Korra's been talking about you again," she says, taking out her laptop. She's got one of those all-metal ones, no-nonsense type. "You want to know what she's saying?"
"I have a feeling you'll tell me anyway."
"It's pretty humbling, actually. When referencing you she says 'guess I just got her on a bad day, and she showed me what she's like on a good one'. I'm not even a part of this, and I'm confused."
Asami reels at that for a while, wasn't expecting — she wasn't, honestly that's surprising. "I really don't know what she's getting at, Kuv. Like, it feels like she's just playing the game, but no one's ever dedicated this much attention to me, rookie or not."
"Yeah but... have you seen the crowds, the amount of interest, how good this is for the derby scene? People are trying to interview me to get the scoop on you, Sams. Believe it or not, this little rivalry is good publicity for the sport. Isn't that what you've wanted?"
"It's not a rivalry. We played two games together — "
"And have you seen you two out there," Kuv cuts in. "It's all raw power and talent and aggression and fucking chemistry. It's the media's fucking wet dream and I think you should capitalize on it."
"Kuv," Asami groans. "I just wanna play Roller Derby, I don't want to get all political and shit. I'm not the face of the sport."
"Except, you are," Kuv says, and her face actually softens in a way that Asami's only ever seen it do around her. "I don't know what Korra's getting at, Sams - but you can take advantage of it. We can get more girls, sponsors, teams. This could be huge."
It's true, it's all true... but it's not what Asami wants to think about right now, and Kuv gets it. She pulls Asami in and lets her rest her head on her shoulder, exits out of all the blogs on her laptop and finds a funny YouTube video of a dog. That's what Asami needs, something to distract her, something that doesn't remind her life could possibly change very drastically all because of the actions of someone else.
It's not fair.
~~~
Asami doesn't have any family to visit during the break, and neither does Kuvira, so they inevitably end up spending it together. Kuv is the closest thing she has to a best friend and sister, and she loves the honesty of her, the seriousness — despite the crazy shit she seems to have going on with Su.
"What's the real deal with you two, anyway?" Asami asks, pulling a pillow in to her chest and leaning back into the couch. "The rivalry seems a little less than friendly."
"If you're not going to talk about how you really feel about Korra, I'm not going to talk about Suyin Beifong," Kuv says, not even bothering to take her eyes off the TV. And that's not fair, anyway. Asami doesn't have any like, feelings about Korra.
"C'mon, Kuv. There's nothing between me and Korra."
"Yeah?" Kuvira laughs, "so when's the last time you got laid?"
What, that's not even correlated. "Jeez," Asami says, "people talk about sex like if they're not having it, their virginity is just going to grow back or something. It's not at the center of every conflict."
"Yeah," Kuvira says and sips her beer. She turns toward Asami and she's smiling. "But it's at the center of this one."
"It's not."
"Why are you whining then?"
"Because it's — " The thing is, she doesn't know why she's whining. She doesn't know what this is about. She doesn't know anything and she's just tired of being confused. "I just feel blindsided by it all. One second I was playing a game, and then I was a part of this, this thing."
"But, you're into it," Kuv says, softly. "Like maybe you won't admit it, to me or to yourself, but part of you likes it. If it's not Korra, then it's the attention at least."
Asami shrugs. "Attention's not my thing. You know that."
"Then it's Korra."
"Fuck off," Asami laughs, "I bet the thing with Su is — "
"Don't even go there," Kuv says, shoving her shoulder. "It's not like that and I don't want to talk about it."
"Fine," Asami says, still laughing, then she picks up the remote and switches the channel. "Except, you should talk about it. You can't go around attacking her like that."
"Should just be rubbing against her on the bar like you and Korra, yeah?" Kuv laughs, then she sighs. "Alright, alright. I'll let up. Both on Su and you. But, it's been a while since you've been involved in something, you know? It's exciting." It is exciting, for Asami too, even though she won't say it. "And Su - Su's also from Zaofu."
And that's all Asami can get out of Kuvira about it for the rest of the break.
~~~
Asami's glad to be done with the Metal Banshees for a while. But it's her third bout of the week against the Switchblade Knockouts and she wants nothing more than to burn her uniform and skates. And maybe watch a ton of Netflix. And maybe go on one of those vacations with Kuv where they only eat ice cream and take selfies in really fancy hats.
"That sounds ridiculous," Kuv points out, sliding the star cover over Asami's helmet.
Asami glares at her. "Whatever, I'll wear what I want on my head, Kuv."
Kuvira just rolls her eyes and skates toward the track. She's really been on her game lately. Like tonight, despite the fact that she was the lone blocker on the track at one point, DeadlySpirits still put sixteen points on the board, while the Knockouts stayed at zero. Honestly, she's captain material, but the spot went to Asami since everyone's pretty sure Kuv would just end up on a power trip that no one could pull her from. People don't really know what's going on in her head, is the thing. And most aren't too desperate to figure it out.
Asami's not been all that better, though. At least not lately. She's going through, like, an existential crisis or something. She's a positive person usually, but it's just ugh — this Korra thing is really eating at her. She knows it's part of the game or good press or whatever but god. It's like no matter how many times Asami puts her in her place or refuses to comment on her, Korra's always there again, taking the piss and grinning in that dumb, adorable way of hers.
She'd bring all this up to Kuv, but she doesn't - she wouldn't honestly know what to say or where to start. Asami shakes it off and positions behind the blockers, checks the clock. She's only got a little less than an hour left, so she pushes through.
They end up winning the bout, of course. It's not even close, one of those games where Asami shakes the other teams hands for a really long time and tries to say encouraging things. Her hearts too big, is the problem. Sometimes she cares too much.
"Asami?" Kuv asks afterwards. She looks forlorn. Asami narrows her eyes. "Mind if I crash at yours tonight? Zhu Li and Varrick are... doing the thing."
Asami sighs, she'd like to be alone, but she doesn't mind Kuv that much, and yeah. It's cruel and unusual punishment to have to sit in the same house as Varrick in - any situation. "Alright, but don't get on my shit like you always do. I just want to relax."
"I told you I'd let up, didn't I? Haven't brought it up once this week."
"You don't have to, everyone else does."
It's silent for a moment, Kuv just staring her down, studying her for a good while. "Stop letting it get to you," she says eventually, and then she walks off for her gear-bag.
It's not like Asami's letting anything get to her. Whatever. She just wants to be home right now.
Asami's apartment isn't her father's mansion, but it's not completely shitty. It could be worse — could be Kuv and Zhu Li's apartment. There's the issue of dragging her bag up three flights of stairs, since of course the elevator's out of order again, and she spends the entire trip planning out every detail of what's going to happen when she finally gets in. It mostly involves a hot bath and some warm milk and her glorious body pillow.
And then Asami gets the absolute worst call of her life when she's opening her front door. "We need you to do a photo shoot for this sports mag — it's the actual sport-y kind, not the swimsuits," Varrick says.
Oh, thank god, but. "Why do they want me in a sports mag? I haven't done anything this year that I didn't do last year, honestly." And then it's really obvious, but coach says it anyway.
"It's not just you, Sams. Korra will be there too." He pauses long enough to seem like he's considering her feelings. "Sorry, it's a sponsor thing." Which is just code for it's a money thing, which is just code for Asami better buck up and just fucking do it with a smile. Her life's already starting to change and she's not done mentally preparing. She's been procrastinating. She's not ready.
"But, seriously why me?" Ah, that wasn't actually supposed to leave her mind. Kuv arches a brow and Asami shakes her head.
Varrick hums. "Aw, c'mon. She's a rookie, alright. Don't take it so personally."
"Yeah, well — "
"Save it for the reporters, Sams. I have to go." Ugh. Varrick is such a dickface.
Asami hangs up and flops down hard on her couch and ignores the funny feeling that always seems to creep up whenever anyone mentions Korra. Maybe she should just quit. Who even needs derby anyway? She could stay in her apartment all day. Maybe get a dog. But that would get pretty boring. And sad. Okay, maybe she won't quit until she's found another really cool hobby [and job]. Or girlfriend. Maybe she should get a nice girlfriend who'd make her forget all about Korra. And the newspapers. And this dumb photo shoot. And —
"Sato. Off the couch, alright?" Shit, Kuv is still here. "C'mon, I know you've been daydreaming about that hot bath all night. Don't let whatever this is ruin it."
Asami can't focus on her bath, now. She's too busy thinking about dumb rookies with cute haircuts and bright blues eyes and heart-stopping smiles, fuck. At least Korra's probably going to be more casual at the photo shoot. Maybe. She's also probably going to be all made up and pretty and, sure, maybe Asami's been daydreaming about Korra's arms since the day they met. But that's totally normal. Asami thinks about a lot things, mostly including nice cars and cute girls.
Kuvira thumps the back of her head.
Oh, yeah, she's supposed to get up. "Okay, okay. She mumbles. I'm up."
~~~
Photo shoots are dumb, she finds out.
It's just hours of poses and fake smiles and minor adjustments and constant make-up fixes. Asami takes some pictures alone and then they have her posing next to Korra like they're about to go into battle or something, all strapped into their helmets and skates and kneepads. And Korra's like, unusually quiet. Asami's been waiting all day for her normal rookie spiel, but there's nothing. Radio fucking silence.
"Korra," Asami says, when they're taking a break to get food. For the most part, they're alone. "You're awfully quiet today."
Korra makes a sound somewhere in between a laugh and a sigh. "Yeah, how do you talk to someone who takes everything you say in a bad way?"
Asami stops with her bagel mid-air, immediately caught off guard. "That's not true."
"Of course it is."
"All you do is talk shit to me."
"See," Korra says, "All I do is tell you how I feel and you get all twisted about it." She nudges Asami with her shoulder, and then lingers, pressed to her side. Asami would really like to wrap an arm around her, but she's pretty sure that's not a good thing to do. "C'mon, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
Asami pulls away, absolutely not flustered in the least bit. "See," she mocks, "there you are at it again."
"Are you upset because I called you pretty?"
Asami stills at the idea of Korra maybe actually thinking she's pretty, but she calms it down, because she's sure that's not the case. "No, you probably call a lot of girls pretty." And she's aware that she's revealed a lot more about herself than she wanted to.
"So that's it," Korra says with her dumb fucking shit-eating grin. "You're upset 'cos you think I go around sweet-talking all the cute jammer girls."
Asami can't even respond cheekily, just throws her bagel down on the table. "Shut up, Korra."
And then Korra's pressed to her, face all close, hot breath grazing across her cheek. "Make me, Asami."
Suddenly the room feels smaller and it's like time slows, enough that Asami becomes aware of just about everything. There's Korra's breath on her cheek, and her smell, and the curve of her lips, and how her eyelashes curl, and her biceps and the armbands that accentuate them. The room temperature is like constantly increasing because Korra's so close, fuck.
"Guess you won't, then," Korra says. And then she starts pulling away and Asami instantly misses every inch of her.
Asami breaks when Korra's hand brushes over her stomach as she pulls it from her waist. It's just too much, and Asami makes an embarrassing little noise and can actually feel how turned on she is. All the blood that isn't rushing south in her body is rushing to her face. She's light-headed.
Korra's hand freezes on Asami's stomach, and she looks up slowly. She's flushed, too, but otherwise she looks as smug as she always does. Fuck. "Hah. Does little Asami like this?" she teases.
"Korra," Asami says desperately, because this is certainly not the time for her dumb jokes, and she grabs on to Korra's arms a little more roughly than she intended. "You have to stop this. How do I make you stop?"
"Is that what you want?" Korra asks, and then the camera guy comes over and Asami's still figuring out how to respond when Korra walks away.
She sort of feels like she's one curve ball away from breaking down.
~~~
Actually, she's two curve balls from breaking down.
Zhu Li gets sidelined because she takes a bad hit, falls one way and her foot goes the other. And the DeadlySpirits go from winning every bout, to losing two out of three of their last few matches. Yeah, Kuv is strong, and so is Asami — but with Zhu Li gone there's a noticeable weakness in their line up. Which sucks because there's a big tournament coming up and winning this title is actually more important than anything else in derby right now.
"We just need a team night," Kuv says, holding on to the table as she rocks her chair back. They're in Asami's kitchen after their latest loss and they've both been silent for a while. "Like, a sleepover. But with drinks. And some food. Music and shit."
Asami sighs, and she doesn't mean to sound impatient, it's just. She knows she's been flipping through this play book for the past hour like the answer's going to jump out at her, and Kuv is just trying to be helpful — but she sort of feels like she's the real fuck-up here.
"It's not you," Kuv says, like she's read her mind. "You can't help that Zhu Li got hurt."
Asami hums and finally chances a glance up from the book in front of her. It's not just that Zhu Li got hurt, she doesn't blame herself for that. It's the fact that they can't bounce back. If the team can't pull out a victory just because a player's down, then that has to say something about the leadership. "Yeah, but I'm supposed to — I should know what to do, and I don't," she says. That's what being captain is. She should have the answers and solutions and be level-headed at all times. And not be easily distracted by hotshot rookies that only exist to get in her head. But none of that describes her right now. She's not doing her job. "I just feel helpless, you know."
Kuv huffs as her chair smacks the floor. Her jaw's all tense like maybe she's over this, but her eyes tell Asami she's mostly just concerned for her, which is the last thing Asami wants Kuv to have to be. She gets that tug in her gut, the feeling that she's letting everyone down and being useless about it. "You're not helpless, Sams. I'm telling you what to do, you're just not listening," she says, and Asami sits up because Kuv's using her serious voice. "We need team bonding."
"We're halfway in the season, I don't think bonding is the problem" Asami says, and Kuv tilts her head like there's something obvious that she's not getting. It's a valid statement, though. They've come this far together, nearly undefeated.
Well okay, Eska's like, seriously detached and P'Li has more anger problems than Kuvira does, but. That's not anything new. It's always been that way with them. And P'Li and Eska aren't the problem — the problem's that… Asami can't quite place her finger on it. It's right at the front of her mind, but she can't place it.
"Fine," Kuv says, and Asami snaps out of her head. "You need to bond with the team again."
And that's — that's it, actually.
Asami's not in tune with the girls. It's like she doesn't know their quirks anymore, which sides they lean to or how to read them on the fly. And it's not a sudden thing, it's been sort of gradual because she's been pulling away, too preoccupied with her own shit to even notice. She can't even blame Korra for this one, even though that's like, her go to right now.
"So," she says, "we need a team night?" and even Asami's surprised at how dejected she sounds. It's not what she was aiming for, honestly.
Kuv sighs. "C'mon, I didn't mean anything by it Asami. I'm just saying it couldn't hurt."
"No, I get it," Asami says. "I think so too — I just. I hate letting the team down."
The second curve ball is when everyone comes over for team night and decides it's time to discuss whether or not Asami's really prepared to be captain. Which, is the fucking opposite of bonding. Asami excuses herself to the bathroom and then she texts everyone she can think of until she finds a link to get her Korra's number. This is a dumb idea, she knows. And maybe she wants Korra, or maybe she wants the attention, or maybe she just wants to tell someone that her apartment's full of women that just questioned her leadership over a couple lost games - but she needs to talk to someone and she's really got no one other than the girls on her team.
And right now they're all the enemy. So she dials Korra's number.
"This is all your fault," Asami says, and then she's actually crying and Korra's being completely silent on the other end. "Say something, don't act like you don't hear me."
"I don't know what you want me to say," Korra says, and her voice calms Asami, like it's patient and caring and soft. "I don't know what you think is my fault."
"My life being... fucking turned on it's head," Asami says, sniffing and slapping the floor. It just ends up hurting her hand. "I hate it. All I wanted to do was play the game, I never wanted any of this." She shakes her hand out and wipes her nose on her sleeve. "I finally felt like I had a family, and now I just feel alone again, like my team's being shitty because I'm shitty and - "
"You're not shitty," Korra says. "You're really good, and you're taking on a lot and - "
"Shut up. I just want to punch you in the face."
"Well come over then, and take your chance. I'll text my address." And then Korra hangs up and Asami - she's figuring out a proper way to ditch team night. It's not like she really feels like she's a part of the team right now, anyway.