Chapter Text
The problem with liking someone is that you don't consider how much of yourself you're actually investing into it until it's too late.
So when Korra doesn't call, doesn't respond to Asami's texts, makes a statement to the press about knowing how to defeat Asami, it hits Asami hard. Because in every situation that she's managed to think up, it didn't come to this. She's never been just - flat out shut down before. It makes her realize how much she relies on Korra's teasing and how relentless she was in going after Asami. It makes her aware of how much she thinks about Korra, how much Korra's actually occupying her mind, how she keeps sending Korra dumb shit about what she's eating for breakfast or whatever even though Korra isn't responding. She thought she had this all under control, but she doesn't. This is, well. It's new territory.
And Asami's basically a walking zombie because she doesn't really know how much she can take anymore. Kuv's considerate enough to give her a couple days before she actually calls her out on it. Mostly by saying bad things about Korra.
They're both curled up in Asami's bed and Kuv's big spooning her and stroking her arm. The team suggested she come over to "end Asami's slump". They don't know about the late-night-bad-decision-sex, but Kuv does. "I bet you're great in bed, Sams," she says, pulling Asami's hair off her face and behind her ear. "Korra's just an ass-face alright?"
Asami likes that, they should keep complimenting her and calling Korra names. And maybe that'll finally convince her brain to reverse and do the same. "Yeah," Asami says, "I really think she was into it, so like. Maybe she's just not into me. I don't - I don't even think she was trying to fuck me over, like maybe she realized it in the moment and - "
"Sams, you're dwelling on it," Kuv says. "There's probably an explanation or something. Or maybe it was just sex. It happens."
"It didn't feel like just sex," Asami blurts, like she can't stop herself. And now she feels like crying because she sounds like a whiny little twat in front of Kuv and also because she's convinced there's nothing good in the world.
"I bet she does like you," Kuv says after a long pause. And it actually feels genuine, like Kuv one-hundred percent believes what she's saying. "She's probably just fucking with you again, you know?"
"But why would she do that? I don't get it."
Asami doesn't know what Korra wants. She's not expecting roses and cards, but like, a text would be fucking cool at least. They fucked. And it was nice. And Korra was nice. And they should totally just be really respectful and highly competitive associates that maybe call each other and hang out sometimes (or fuck sometimes). And don't make anger-provoking statements to the media. But Korra doesn't understand that and google alert keeps sending Asami links to different articles and Asami can't read another Korra statement, but she also can't stop reading statements.
She actually cracked when Zhu Li came to practice with a newspaper snippet of Korra making an off-handed comment about how she knows she's gotten under Asami's skin.
It's not like secret sex jokes to the public are cool or like Asami wants to play this dumb game where they dodge each other in real life and talk mad shit to the press. And Korra would know all of this if she just picked up the fucking phone and called Asami before opening her damn mouth.
"Well," Kuv says after a while, "You could just go to the derby mixer tomorrow night, find a girl that makes you forget all about Korra. That's also an option."
It doesn't work that way. Kuv knows that. But Asami says, "Yeah," anyway. She shoves her face in her pillow and sighs. "Thanks for like, for not ridin' my ass or anything about this."
"Of course," Kuv says. "There's always the future, you know, for ribbing you. Right now it's just important you're alright."
"It's not a big deal, anyway," Asami says, more to herself than Kuv. "I'm just like - I mean in my head I know it's not a big deal, but I'm making it one anyway."
"So you liked her and she fucked you over," Kuv says. "It's alright to feel like shit, I've been there."
Asami's silent for a while, but then it's like something clicks. "Suyin?" she asks, and she can feel Kuv's body tense up.
"Yeah," Kuv says, shoving her nose in Asami's hair. "But it's not like that. Not like a sex thing."
"What's it like then?"
Kuv shifts, sighs heavily. "When I was leaving for the city with you I told her to come. She said city derby wasn't her thing, you know? Like she was sticking to her roots and what she knows. And then she just fucking showed up here months later with the Metal Banshees. I felt betrayed, you know. We were like family."
"But her and Lin are family."
"She doesn't even fucking like Lin," Kuv snaps. "Or, at least she didn't when - " Kuv shakes her head and Asami doesn't want to press the issue, knows Kuv's upset without even looking at her. "But it's fine. I'm over it."
"Except you take a shot at her every chance you get," Asami says softly. She doesn't want to hurt Korra. That's not where she wants this to end up. She at least wants them to agree and make it explicit that there's nothing between them. That's the adult thing to do and even Korra has to step up to that plate, rookie or not. "Like, maybe you two need to sit down and - "
"No," Kuv says, firmly. "Suyin and I have nothing to talk about. Next time you see Korra tell her to step up or step off. And in the mean time, you should just enjoy the mixer tomorrow. And I'll try to do the same, alright?"
"Alright. But, I don't want a girl. I just want to drink."
"Then do it," Kuv says. "You've played your ass off these past few games, and you're killing it in practice. You deserve to let loose."
Asami flicks at her pillow case and tries not to sound desperate when she says, "You think Korra will be at the mixer tomorrow? I mean, it's not like I'm trying to - "
"Hey," Kuv says, lifting up. "if she is there, then just tell her straight up. If she isn't - look, don't let her ruin your night."
~~~
When the next night comes Asami gets all made up to go to the party. It's been five official days with nothing from Korra, and if she keeps waiting by the phone she'll just hate herself so she needs to shake this. She spends too much time on her hair, but she also looks hot as shit so it's totally worth it. Just in case Korra, like... whatever.
Going with Kuv has its benefits, like Asami's not alone. If it comes down to the worst possible scenario, she's got back-up.
The house is packed when they get there, people dancing everywhere and none of them are Korra. Five minutes in Asami loses Kuv and then she gets dragged to the kitchen by some rookies so they can shove drinks in her and pick her brain about derby.
Asami starts with beer, PBR or some shit and follows that with whiskey and then some shots of tequila and something called a Starry Night. And then she's the kind of drunk where she keeps blinking like she can't see anything even though her eyes are wide open. There's this one rookie who sticks around after everyone's either bored of talking derby or too drunk to care. Her name's, um - fuck. Asami doesn't know. But she gets all close, moving to the music and she smiles all teeth, her eyes crinkling at the edges.
"I see why Korra's so into you," she says, and Asami is vaguely sure this girl plays for the Metal Banshees. If she's here, maybe Korra's here. Or, jeez, she's supposed to forget Korra, but it's all she can think about. She needs to actively will herself to forget her.
And it kind of seems a bit impossible, but the task's not as hard as Asami thinks. The music's pretty good. She can feel the thud-ud-ud of the beat pumping through her veins, through her blood, her body's a fucking vessel for the music. She needs to dance. She starts swaying her hips, lazy and easy. Keeps running her hands through her hair, all sweaty and messy and her mind's being filled with nothing but the loud bass of the music and pure fucking bliss. And there's the rookie dancing all over her, which is nice, but at the same time she doesn't care. She's not here for that, just here for this feeling that's flooding through her right now.
She hasn't been this happy since winning MVP last year after taking home the championship. Before she met a certain rookie who does nothing but give her problems.
She doesn't need Korra, she just needs her friends, needs Kuv.
But Kuv's off in a corner doing some shit with some other blockers, being all crazy. They're like fucking around and wrestling or something. Whatever strong women with a lot of drinks and a lot of energy do. Kuv should be with Asami, though, dancing and feeling what it's like to be this happy. Every little thing feels like the funniest shit in the world - the way Asami keeps tripping when she's walking over to Kuv, the way someone's hands keep grabbing at her, how she keeps making little sounds but not saying any real words, the way people yell out every five seconds like they're watching a touchdown happen. And then she gets close to the wrestling and there's the elbow that smacks her in the nose and sends her flying to the ground.
Actually, the last one isn't that funny. It kind of hurts. A lot.
Asami's instantly nauseous, like so dizzy that the world's actually spinning. Maybe it's the drinks or the impact or maybe it's the fact that she doesn't like blood, but she can see it on her shirt and when she touches her face it's on her hand. The only thing she can think to do is put the blood back in, back inside her body where it belongs. So she shoves her palm up her face but she feels like all she's doing is making everything messy and the pull makes her lip hurt really bad. And she's not sure anymore if the blood is coming from her nose or mouth or both or if it's ever going to stop. Maybe she's about to fucking die and everyone's just standing around watching.
Everything isn't funny anymore, it's a bit overwhelming and Asami can't think straight. She just wants to curl up in a ball and stop existing right now, because that's the best option, right? It's the one that makes the most sense.
Now the music's just distracting and too loud and Asami's so out of it she barely notices she's being lifted from the floor. And then suddenly she's being carried and she's just sort of grateful for it, feels like an angel is whisking her away. She looks up to thank the angel, only to realize she's in... Korra's arms - which is motherfucking ridiculous. Korra can't pick her up. Asami's taller than Korra. That's like simple Chemistry, or Physics. Whatever, science. When did Korra even get here?
It's the first thing Asami means to ask, when Korra takes her to the bathroom, closes the door to block out the music and places Asami down on the edge of the bath tub. She has a completely reasonable question in mind, but when she opens her mouth it decides to say, "You have arms, so nice." Which is, shit, okay. She needs to get it together.
Korra stares at her blankly, hands firm on Asami's arms and it makes Asami feel stable, like she's not swaying anymore and the worlds not spinning. She feels less nauseous and less like she's going to die. Then Korra lets her go and stands up straight, heads to the sink to wet a towel and Asami feels everything going to shit again. Fuck.
"Try to stay upright," Korra says. "Just give me a sec to wet this towel." She gestures her hand over her face. "You're bleeding."
Oh yeah, the blood. Asami forgot about that. She needs a new shirt. "My shirt has blood on it," she points out. "How did I do that?"
"You walked right into an elbow," Korra says, and there's something aggressive about her tone. Like clipped anger or something. It makes Asami feel like she's in trouble, like a kid who just broke her mom's favorite vase. She didn't do anything, she thinks. She can't really remember though. Korra sighs and walks over to kneel in front of Asami. "Try to hold still. I'm gonna clean you up."
"I'm fine," Asami finds herself saying, because that's - there's absolutely nothing true about that statement.
Korra's jaw is clenched, pulsing like she's grinding her teeth, and she's silent far too long for Asami's liking. She just lifts the towel, though, softly starts cleaning Asami's face. Doesn't even manage to hurt Asami's probably busted lip. When she finally speaks it's remarkably calm. "We can't keep meeting like this," she says.
Asami lifts a brow. "Like what?"
"You being hurt. I don't like seeing you like this, alright?"
"Well maybe you should be around more, then," Asami slurs. "To like, to protect me. Instead of ignoring me." She has this moment of realization that Korra probably thinks she's just hurt all the time. She needs to clarify, to make Korra know that she's only been hurt recently. It's not like, a common thing. Only, Asami can't seem to string a sentence together right in this moment because Korra's eyes are studying her so intensely, so seriously, that she might just melt right on the edge of this tub.
"Maybe I should go find Kuv to get you home," Korra says abruptly.
Asami tries to lean forward with conviction, but she just ends up swaying to the side. "Why? I want to talk to you."
"I want to talk too," Korra says softly, "but - but what you said... I want you to be sober when you say things like that."
"I am sober."
"You're not," Korra says. "I wish you were, but you're not."
"Why were you ignoring me?"
Korra pulls the towel away and Asami doesn't feel anything dripping down her lip anymore so at least the bleeding's over. Korra presses her lips together, like she's considering something. "I really want to talk about this," she says, "but - "
"You don't want me, that's it? Yeah?" Asami can't, she's not in control of anything anymore. She might start crying or puking or she just might pee her pants. All are an equal possibility right now. Korra's hand on her thigh is the only real link she has to stability. She moves it, though, and grabs Asami's hand. Then she starts wiping the blood off it. Asami's a complete fucking mess right now and probably in no position to be asking if someone's into her. Obviously no one's into this. "I guess that makes sense, then."
"That's not it, Asami. That's actually completely opposite of how I feel."
"You're pushing me away. You don't like me."
Korra crumples like this conversation is breaking her. Asami doesn't know why, it's pretty straight forward. "I'm pushing you away because I like you," Korra says.
Asami may be drunk, but, "That makes absolutely no fucking sense. Sorry," she adds, because that came out a little harsh.
Korra swallows and Asami gets lost in watching how her throat moves, thinking about how she just wants her mouth on Korra's neck, just wants her mouth on Korra. Or maybe the other way around. Or maybe they can both put their mouths on each other. "I don't know," Korra whispers. "I thought maybe I needed to distance myself. To like get perspective or something - I just... don't know. Can we do this when you're sober? Please?" She blinks up at Asami really really prettily and, honestly, Asami's pretty sure she'd do absolutely anything Korra says right now.
"Okay," Asami says. "Okay. But don't leave me. I need you."
Korra closes her eyes defeatedly. "You can't just say stuff like that," she says. "You're making things really hard for me right now. I - just let me get you home, and I promise I'll call you tomorrow. We can do this then. Right now it's, um."
Asami doesn't understand. "Why's it hard?"
"Because I really want to believe what you're saying, but I'm pretty sure you don't even know what your last name is right now."
That is not true. "It's Sato," Asami says with extra emphasis. She can't help the smile that spreads across her face because she totally just proved Korra wrong. Maybe she really isn't drunk. She's got this.
"It is," Korra says, and she smiles back. Plus one for Asami. "I guess I was wrong about that." She wraps an arm around Asami's waist and nudges for Asami to put her arm over Korra's shoulders. "I won't force you to sit in a cab if you promise not to puke in my car," she says, lifting Asami from the edge of the tub. "I just want to make sure you get back safe."
"I promise," Asami says, and rubs her face in Korra's hair before she remembers how much pain she's in. She pulls her head back and checks to see if her face is bleeding again. Thankfully, it's not. "I'm taller than you, by the way."
Korra nods. "Yes, you are." And then she laughs a bit and kisses Asami's ear and Asami never ever wants to leave her arms.
Even though Korra said it, somewhere along the walk Asami forgets the destination is Korra's car. The cool air hits her when they make it outside, and it's sobering enough for her to remember she should probably tell Kuv she's leaving the party. "We have to tell Kuv," she says.
"I told her I'd handle it before I picked you up off the floor, alright? I haven't had anything to drink, and she's had a few." Korra puts Asami on her feet so she can open the car door, and Asami holds on to her arm like her life's depending on it. "You'll be fine," Korra assures her. " And I'll shoot Kuv a text, so she knows you're safe."
Asami nods and climbs in the passenger seat. And even though she's only a fraction more sober, she's still now aware enough to be more than a little embarrassed at the last hour of her life.
"I'm really sorry," she says, innocently enough, as Korra climbs into the driver's seat.
"For what? For drinking? We've all been there, Sams. It's okay." Korra leans over and buckles Asami's seat-belt for her. Then she does her own. "And I'll get on Su about elbowing you later, okay?"
"Su hit me?"
Korra just sighs. "Yeah, her and Kuv were going at it or some shit, they really need to settle that. Kiss and make up."
"It's not a sex thing. Kuv said," Asami adds.
Korra rolls her eyes and briefly turns to look at Asami. "It's totally a sex thing. There's nothing else to explain that much tension."
And since Asami can't think of another explanation, she just says, "Yeah." She bites down on the swollen part of her lip and bristles at the pain, then she stares at Korra a while before asking, "Do you want to be with me?"
"I - okay, we're going to have this conversation, just not now. I just want - we should have it when - "
"I'm sober?"
"When you don't have someone else's lipstick on your cheek."
"Oh."
When they get to her apartment, Asami's more than a little glad that Korra's there.
She's one-hundred percent certain she wouldn't have made it up the stairs alone, and probably would have spent the night sleeping in a random sketchy corner outside a stranger's door. But Korra helps her up, practically carries her half the way, and she even lets Asami in and changes her out of her shirt and doesn't even stare at Asami's boobs when she's only wearing a bra (sadly). Asami's still drunk enough to giggle at her own boobs, but she's not drunk enough to try to make a move on Korra.
But Korra puts Asami in a new shirt and she tucks her into bed and takes off her pants and feeds her water and then she runs her hand through Asami's hair until Asami can't keep her eyes open anymore. And Asami just keeps thinking that she's so so so glad Korra's there.
It feels nice having her back. Right where she belongs.
~~~
Asami can't remember the last time she slept like a baby. But, then again, she can't remember the last time she felt like everything was good in the world. It's weird, but she wakes up and just feels like she's on the right side of the bed for once.
Then she notices the arms wrapped around her and feels the body pressed against her back and has a mini panic attack before she flips over and sees Korra... of all people. Korra slowly blinks her eyes open, and it takes a moment before she clearly focuses them on Asami.
"You're here," Asami says, throat stiff and lip stinging. And that jolts her mind back to Su's elbow and Korra driving her home and apparently spending the night and fuck, Asami's never, ever drinking again.
"I needed - I wanted you to be alright," Korra fumbles out. She looks entirely unsure of herself and Asami just kisses her right away so there's no confusion. She wants Korra here and she wants her to stay and she doesn't want any arguments. She can apologize later for her morning breath. Asami winces at the pain in her lip after a few seconds and Korra smiles into her mouth. "So, that's settled then, yeah?"
Asami pouts. "Can it be?" She's really tired of all the confusion.
"You're doing nothing for your hard-ass reputation," Korra laughs. "You can't be cute and pouty and totally into rookies."
Asami rolls her eyes. "Is that the next statement you're going to give to the press, or are you waiting for me to cough up something better."
"Hey, I'm at least getting your attention." Korra says, like it's a feat. She rubs her hand over her face a few times and perks up suddenly. She yawns as she sits up in bed. "I could use some coffee. You have some here?"
"Yeah, it's in one of the top cabinets," Asami says, settling more into the pillow to suggest she's not getting up. "Grab me a cup too, yeah?"
"Sure you don't need water and Aspirin?"
"Coffee's fine," Asami says, swatting at Korra's arm to tell her to get going.
"Alright, alright. You have sugar here?"
Asami nibbles on her lip and it's painful. She needs to break that habit while she's injured. "What, I'm not sweet enough for you?" she tries.
Korra - she blushes. "Wow," she says, "what monster did I wake up in you this morning?"
"Are you complaining?"
Korra winks. "Not at all." That smug little fucker.
"Get outta here and get me some coffee," Asami says. "The sugar should also be in a top cabinet, since I can't fulfill your needs."
Korra laughs and shakes out her fluffy hair, then she runs her hands through it. Which, only makes it messier. It's fucking cute. And then she stands and leaves the room. She takes a fucking century in the kitchen, though, and if Asami weren't half dead with a massive hangover she might be tempted to get out of bed. But, as it is, she's just patiently waiting for her damn rookie to get back with the coffee.
When Korra finally walks in the room again she's all smiles, clutching two mugs.
"Took you long enough," Asami says.
Korra carefully sits on the bed and tilts her head, telling Asami to sit up before she hands her the mug. "I was just making sure it was the right temperature for you to drink. I don't think your mouth needs anymore abuse."
That's, wow. It's really sweet and considerate and Asami probably doesn't deserve that. "Thanks," she says, trying to hide her face behind her mug. "Guess you're pretty great when you're not talking shit about me."
Korra nearly spits her coffee back in her cup. "What? I only ever talk about how amazing you are."
Well, when she puts it that way. "I - shit. I'm just dumb, alright?"
"Alright."
"Stop it," Asami gushes. "You can't agree with me."
"Fine, I'm dumb too. That better?"
"Yes," Asami says. "At least now there's some sort of solidarity." She sips at her coffee and it really is the perfect temperature. "So the sex - you didn't think it was bad?"
Korra furrows her brows. "Of course not, you're amazing. And like - I just thought I was over-reaching, is all."
"What do you mean?"
Korra shrugs and it's like all the confidence she's ever had just slides off her at once. "All rookies are just dumb and annoying, right? It'd be stupid to think you'd want to like - you'd want more with me."
"It's not stupid. I mean, you're fresh-meat when it comes to derby, but this is about relationships. That's a different scene."
"Is it, though?" Asami opens her mouth, but she doesn't have a good enough answer. "What were you doing drinking so much anyway," Korra asks. She scoots closer to Asami like being more than eight inches apart is too large a distance.
"I was trying to get over you." Which, was probably not such a good plan in hindsight, but whatever. Korra's here so it at least worked out okay. Well, except for Asami's lip. And nose. And her favorite shirt.
"Oh," Korra breathes out. "Just um - don't do that."
Asami chuckles. "Don't do what? Don't drink too much or don't get over you?"
"Neither," Korra says resolutely and Asami can't help it, leans in to kiss her because Korra's really cute and Asami thinks they've sufficiently established that she has the right to do that.
She's rewarded by Korra immediately kissing her back. And it's gentle, the way she does it - navigates around the sore parts of Asami's face, runs her tongue along the cut on her lips. She pulls off for a moment and sets their cups aside, then she comes back and nudges Asami down on the pillows. Korra hovers above Asami and Asami has one of those dumb moments where she notices all the fine details of Korra's impossibly perfect face. She almost can't breathe from how lucky she feels to have her here, have her this close.
Korra's fingers trail through her hair and Asami realizes it's probably a mess and only a shower could save it at this point. Which, honestly isn't a bad idea. But Korra drops her hand to Asami's chin and tilts her head back, leans in real close like she's going to kiss her and her lips even part - but then she just starts laughing and falls over on the bed next to Asami while she's still giggling. It's really cute but also, like, huh?
"What are you laughing at?" Asami says, turning to face Korra.
"Just thinking of all the flowers I'll have to buy you when I kick your ass in the championship."
Asami rolls her eyes. "Don't buy me anything, because I won't need it. You're the one that needs to worry with your shit crossover on turns."
Korra's eyes glimmer like she's ready for a challenge, and before Asami can say anything, she's off the bed and grabbing Asami's skates. "Teach me then," she says, a special light in her eyes. "Just so like - we're on equal ground."
"First," Asami groans, struggling to pull herself upright, "we're not skating in my apartment. And second - " Korra's not even listening, which means Asami has no choice - she climbs off the bed and walks over to straddle Korra right on the floor. She slides up Korra's thighs and presses their stomachs together. "C'mon, I thought we were going to do something else."
Korra's eyes flutter and she drops the skate from her hand and fills it with Asami's ass instead. "You're cheating," she says. "You can't control me with your body."
"Can't I?"
Asami yelps as Korra flips them in one swift motion, and then she's on her back and Korra's on top of her. They could be in this position on the bed if Korra wasn't being so uncivilized. "You can't, I just said that. Don't you listen?"
"Not to rookies," Asami says, but Korra's got her trapped so it's not as effective.
Korra starts laughing and Asami just wants to prove her point that she can control Korra with her body - so she slips her shirt off while Korra's distracted. And it's satisfying, the way Korra's laugh dies down when her eyes travel over Asami's torso. Asami bites the side of her lip that's not bruised, but when nothing happens immediately she becomes horribly self-conscious. Like, Korra's all toned and stuff and Asami's pretty sure she has like, love-handles or something. Maybe this isn't her best angle.
After forever, Korra finally bends down and kisses at the corner of Asami's mouth, then drops to her neck and makes her way down to Asami's stomach. "Okay, you win," she says, rubbing her face against Asami's abs, or like, the spot where they're supposed to be. "Fuck, you're so attractive it's not fair."
Asami's laugh practically jumps out of her and she drops her hands to run her fingers through Korra's hair. "You're sitting between my legs, what's not fair?"
Korra moves up and laughs into Asami's boobs. "I never had a chance did I? All up in my face first time we meet, asking me to dinner."
Asami rolls her eyes. "We gonna fuck or not?"
And then she's shocked by Korra's hand, hot on the inside of her thigh, pressing her legs open. "Jeez, so impatient," Korra teases and lifts up to slide her hand inside Asami's underwear. Asami's only response is to tilt her head back and moan, because she's wanted this ever since Korra left her apartment, wanted this from the moment it ended last time. Korra's looking down at her amused and it's warm and. Oh, god. Her fingers are thick in Asami, spreads her open, and Asami can feel herself adjusting to them, feel her eyes water with how good it is.
"Got nothing else to say, huh?" Korra asks.
And Asami mumbles, "no," flushed, like she's asking for more. She grinds down on Korra's fingers and Korra's breath catches as she bites down on her own lip. It's intense, the two of them just staring at each other, and Asami's not even really naked but she feels more exposed than she ever has before. It's just - the way Korra lays one arm across Asami's chest and holds her down as she fucks her, real weight to it too like she's really trying to keep Asami from going anywhere. She's moving her fingers slowly in this mind-numbing rhythm, and the drag feels... fantastic inside Asami.
Korra - she's intense, studying Asami as Asami falls apart beneath her. It all becomes too much when Korra presses her thumb to Asami's clit. Asami loses it, keeps blinking her eyes trying to stay focused. She barely notices when she starts muttering Korra's name, soft, like she's asking for something even though she doesn't know what it is.
Korra jumps into action, though. Or, well, words. "You're so perfect, you know?" She lifts her arm and pushes Asami's hair off her face. "And I'm not going anywhere. Not this time." She runs her thumb across Asami's lips and that somehow triggers her legs to spread even wider. "You don't have to worry about that. Stop holding back."
Asami's body follows instructions before Asami even realizes what she's been doing and she lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding, chest heaving like she can't get any air in anymore. Korra switches angles and picks up the speed before Asami has the chance to fully process anything. And it's the combination of feeling like she can't breathe and Korra's fingers clashing with all the right places inside of her that sends Asami over the edge. Everything slows down and Korra's close but it's suddenly like she's far away and it feels like Asami's heart might actually jump out of her chest with the way it's hammering against her skin. And her ears, even her ears are tingling. She doesn't even know where she is anymore. Jesus fuck. Korra presses her shoulder down, and that somehow snaps Asami back to reality.
"Holy shit," Korra says, "that was intense." And Asami's not absolutely certain, but she's pretty sure that it's not sweat trickling down her cheek right now. Korra pulls her up and into her arms immediately. "Hey, shit, don't - don't cry, it's alright."
"Sorry," Asami says, like it's ripped from her throat. And then she tangles her fingers in Korra's shirt. The thing is - she's not quite sure why she's crying, but it's - it feels nice. Like a weights being lifted off her and she doesn't feel so heavy anymore.
Korra runs her hand over her back. "Is it me? Did I do something?"
Asami waits until she calms a bit, then sniffs and presses her nose to Korra's neck. She feels normal again after a while. Her heads not spinning anymore at least. "I don't - no," she says, pulling away to look Korra in the eyes. "It's just. I feel like I'm changing, like I'm having these feelings and thoughts I don't normally have. It's just a bit scary, is all."
Korra pulls Asami in her lap and snuggles her face in her hair. "Change can be good," she says and Asami snorts. It sounds all weird, though, since she was just crying and she's pretty sure that's why Korra starts laughing. "I'm sorry, you just started crying in the middle of sex. I just - I can't think of anything good to say. I'm just a rookie. Too much pressure."
"I'm sorry I ruined the mood," Asami says, cheeks hot with embarrassment. "I wasn't, you don't expect to just like, cry. Oh god just kill me now please." She tries her best to bury her face in Korra's chest but Korra's being a dick and not letting her.
"Hey, c'mon. At least I can't say you're not interesting," she laughs. And she's not laughing with Asami because Asami doesn't think this is funny at all, so the only other explanation is that she's laughing at Asami. "I bet the reporters will love this." And fuck, Korra shouldn't even joke about that - if it even is a joke. Asami's absolutely horrified either way.
"If you tell the press, that will seriously affect my ability to date you," she says.
Korra smiles even wider. "Oh, so we're dating now?"
Oh fucking god it's like a never ending fountain of unintended shit flowing from her mouth right now and she needs to shut it and never speak again and become a nun and only communicate through letters like fucking Heloise or some shit. She takes three breaths to calm her heart down, then says, "Yeah, maybe. I mean, the team calls you my girlfriend anyway, so it's not like - " Fuck.
"I just found out we're dating, and now I'm your girlfriend?" Korra's body is shaking with how hard she's laughing and Asami only feels hate. Like, deep down in her soul there is nothing but a pit of hate. She's officially a changed woman.
"Don't you have somewhere you need to be or something?"
Korra just pulls her in closer. "No, I'd much rather sit here and watch you squirm."
"But I don't want to squirm."
"You want your girlfriend to be nice to you?" Korra asks, like Asami's a baby.
Asami's not a baby, but she's pouting anyway. She can't help it. "That's the dream, you know?"
Korra considers that, like it's something that needs to be contemplated, then she nods. "Alright, then. I'll be nice."
~~~
Asami doesn't tell Kuv this time, about the sex or the crying. Although, she's sure Kuv can guess on the sex part. No one's particularly interested in that, though, because the real issues are the big games coming up. With Zhu Li most likely out for the rest of the season, it's looking a bit tough. They barely scraped by in the tournament, and with everyone bringing their A-game at the end of the season, it's not going to be an easy ride.
Practice is rough, nothing but drills and scrims and everyone's tense because nothing seems to be coming out right.
"Clear the fucking path!" Kuv shouts at a rookie, and Asami has to skate over to calm her down.
"It's alright, we're all a bit tired," she says.
"If she's tripping you out there because she's tired, we're going to have a lot of problems."
"Kuv - "
"We have three days, Sams. And one of them is travel. I know you're boning the competition, but you at least have to still want to win." Asami's half-way to being mad when Kuv's face lights up and the whole team looks like they're about to lose their shit. "C'mon, you didn't think we'd let you slip by, did you?"
Asami rolls her eyes. "Alright, alright. Everyone get a good laugh in, then get - " She puts her face in her hand and laughs to herself. "You're an ass, Kuv," she says, shaking her head. "I hope you know that."
Kuv mock frowns. "I know Sami-Wami."
Asami pulls a face, but she can't hold it since it's Kuv. "Apologize to the rookie, then get out there and block for me, will ya?"
Kuv rolls her eyes. "She doesn't deserve an apology, and I think - maybe we should call it a night. Start fresh tomorrow morning." There's a collective sigh of relief because that's apparently what everyone was thinking, and Asami waves her hand dismissing the girls from practice. Kuv rests her head against Asami's shoulder. "You think we'll win?" she asks. "Like honestly, what do you think?"
Asami shrugs. "Yeah, Kuv. Of course."
It's not surprising when they walk out to find reporters lined up for the scoop. Everyone's still excited about the rivalry, especially since Korra likes talking shit, and especially since Asami's proved efficient at putting her in her place. Most the team ducks by with their heads down trying to avoid the pack, but Asami - she's got a different idea. Everyone's wanted the statement from her all season, so she's going to give one.
She spots the most least suspecting reporter and gives Kuv's shoulder a hard shove as she winks and jogs over to him. He looks down right startled when she gets all up in his shit, fumbles with a recorder before he shoves it in his pocket and shakily takes out a note pad. "So - so, you looking forward to playing against Korra?" he asks.
At this point reporters are circling around her, and Asami's actually sort of buzzing with the attention. She sucks in some air all slow like, really making this guy sweat, then she shrugs. "You know," she says, "I'm always looking forward to playing Korra. There's something about - she's just amazing, really."
"She's um - " the reporter fumbles. "Well she - "
"Don't you think so too?" Asami asks.
The reporter blinks like it takes him a moment to realize she really wants an answer and then he flushes a shade of red that has Asami a little worried. "Y-yeah, of course she's amazing. I've seen her play a few times. In person."
"Try actually being out there with her. It's intense."
"I bet," he says. "So - so."
"I mean her skating's fantastic and she's a fast thinker and she really knows how to get around the pack. She's taught me a lot about myself, too. Makes me push even harder, strive to be better. In a way, she's even helped me be a better captain."
"Oh well, that sounds - "
"Of course, I'm going to completely wreck her in playoffs. I'm not even worried about her or the Metal Banshees in general, for that matter." Asami gives it her best hair flip and winks for a picture, then she runs off to her car, adrenaline pumping when Kuv jumps on her back and calls her a fucking idiot.
"You're just stirring up all kinds of shit, you know that? The Beifongs are probably going to have it out for you, shit the whole Metal Banshee squad."
Asami shrugs Kuv off her back and punches her shoulder. "Yeah, well fuck them."
"Well," Kuv says properly, straightening up. "I hope your lady friend is worth the beat down you're going to get on the track."
"That felt amazing though, just talking shit. It's like being a rookie again, you know? Free to say what I want without worrying about consequences."
"Yeah except there's consequences," Kuv points out.
~~~
Asami's in a diner with the team when Korra responds to it. The Banshees completely steamrolled a team in their first playoff game and Zhu Li's got Korra's interview pulled up on her iPad. Korra's still sweating with all her gear on while everyone's crowded around her.
"I'm just excited she's not acting like a dead fish anymore," Korra says. Then she throws her had back as she laughs and yells, "We've got a live one boys!" And everyone around her starts cheering. Asami can't even hide her smile, or the blush that's creeping up her cheeks. The team's all giving her shit for it so she has to sneak outside to shoot Korra a text.
Fuck you, she says, because it's appropriate.
Korra shoots back a (; and Asami has to stop herself from taking a selfie in the middle of the street.
She can control herself. She can't control her girlfriend.
But that's fine with her.
She shoves her phone back in her pocket and smiles to herself, then she goes back in and tries to get the girls pumped for tomorrow night.
~~~
It's unusual, but pretty much everyone knows it's over a little over two quarters into the bout. It's not a shit show, it's just - they're getting completely outplayed.
It's not even close.
In a fucking strange turn of events the Spirits get knocked out first round and it's not even by the Metal Banshees. It's the fucking Air Terrors that do it. Asami has to practically fight her way through a mob to make if through the reporters, actually manages to duck everyone - including most of her team - on the way to her car. She's. It's fucking surreal. This entire season has been the craziest roller-coaster ride of her life and she - honestly she just spends the car ride home blasting Taylor Swift and singing with her windows down because she's fairly sure she's finally broken. This did it, there's no turning back anymore.
She's already making her plans for going into hiding when she finds Korra outside her door, with Chinese. Oh, yeah. She has a girlfriend.
"Thought you might want something to eat while we talk about how much you suck," Korra says.
She probably meant to say it's okay or i'm here for you or you can cry on my shoulder, Asami assures herself. "Thanks," she says flatly. "You always know when to say the right thing."
"Aw, c'mon, I'm just fucking with you." Korra walks forward and pulls Asami into a one armed hug, then she ruffles her hair and kisses her forehead. "You know I'm your biggest fan, and I'm still around. So there's no point in being upset."
Asami actually manages a smile. "It stings a bit, but I'll get over it eventually I guess."
"Heeey, no worries alright. I'm going to bring home the trophy so, you know, it stays in the family." She pauses and looks off all contemplative before turning back to Asami. "Well I'll bring it home if a certain person's willing to show up to all my games in a cheerleader skirt." Asami shoves her away and walks over to unlock her door and Korra leans close enough that Asami actually fumbles her keys. "So you're gonna wreck me, huh?"
Asami opens her door and drops her bag as she walks through. "You came here to rub it in, alright. Just get it all out of your system."
Korra stops short, halfway through the door. "No," she says slowly. "I came here to feed you and make jokes until you don't feel like crying anymore." Asami looks over and, in this moment, Korra looks so young, like all she knows is jokes and winning and having a good time, and she's never ever had to deal with a bad situation before. It's actually sort of refreshing. "I could leave if you want me to."
"No," Asami says, and tilts her head. "I want you here. You have food, I have wine. It's like our first date. Kind of."
Korra walks to the living area and places the food down on the table, then she awkwardly puts her hands in her pockets. "I don't - I don't know how to do this. I was going to - I wrote out this thing about how it's going to be okay, but I panicked and - "
Oh come on, it's seriously impossible to be that cute. Everything about this girl is - ugh. "Korra," Asami says, more affectionately than she means, but fuck it, her rookies being all rookie. "It's alright. It'd be weird if you were like, if you know. Just - I like when you make me laugh, okay?"
They kiss after that, and then they eat and kiss some more and watch TV and then they end up in Asami's bed and this time Asami doesn't ruin the mood and she doesn't cry and she makes it the whole night being completely happy.
~~~
It's not until two days later when Korra has to go off to play that Asami officially mopes about her loss. She goes to Kuv's apartment and crashes on her couch and avoids talking about anything that has to do with roller derby because she can't stomach it right now. With Korra not around to take her mind off it, she's a bit lost. Which is exactly why she tells Kuv about her father's house and they end up raiding all of his expensive wine collection in the cellar and cuddling up on the couch to watch cartoons.
"This was a weird season," Kuv says. "Like, I don't know how to feel."
"Korra wanted me to go to her games, but - " Asami waves her hand through the air before letting it drop roughly. "I just can't be around it right now."
"It's understandable."
"She understands," Asami says. "She's perfect."
Kuv rolls her eyes. "Oh come on, nobody's perfect."
Asami laughs and slaps at her thigh. She's only a tiny bit tipsy. "Oh yeah, Hannah Montana? You gonna tell me about my own girl now?" She smiles oddly to herself, pleased with the feeling of referring to Korra as her girl.
"I'm not saying she's not great, but perfect is a lot to put on someone."
"I hope they beat the Air Terrors." Asami frowns. "Korra's good enough, right? She can do that. Maybe I should show up to the games."
"Hey," Kuv says, nurturing, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to. She'll get that - it's alright."
Asami knows she gets it. She's just getting used to having a girlfriend, being in a relationship. This year's been weird because before Korra she just had Kuv and she had derby and she had the anger about her father that she still couldn't get over. And it's like Korra put everything in perspective. And now Asami's even closer with Kuv and she's not clutching as desperately to derby and she's getting over her father and - she's not sure if that's her or if that's Korra. Her problem's that she can't figure out why she's suddenly changing so much. For the better.
The only solution is to send Korra a selfie of her and Kuv with a really expensive bottle of wine along with the caption: we're here 4 u if u need us.
Korra texts back an hour later and says: no worries, told you we're going all the way. you can count on that.
And that somehow comforts Asami. When Kuv falls asleep on her shoulder she takes out her phone again and starts looking on amazon for cheer skirts. Just in case Korra goes to the championship. Just in case Asami needs to be there to make sure she wins. Just in case Korra wants to fuck her with the little skirt still on. It's going to be a thing.
It's going to be a very good thing.
When she finds the perfect skirt she screenshots it and then texts it to Korra along with: when you win (;
Then she puts her phone away and closes her eyes, listens to Kuv's breathing next to her as she thinks about how the DeadlySpirits are going to win the championship next year. Because there's always next year.