Archive of Our Own

“two thoughts, equally as terrifying:

WHAT IF I SEE YOU AGAIN? WHAT IF I DON’T?”

— Untitled, Margaret Schnabel

part i – Seungkwan and Hansol

It’s not the start of anything. 

There’s a boy standing by the bar and ordering everyone celebratory drinks, a cute smile plastered on his face like a neon sign, fang-like teeth peeking out. He’s just a boy, however, regardless of how pretty he is. He’s just a boy and Wonwoo is not looking for anything, not ever again, so he doesn’t think of the boy as anything other than nice to look at. 

So he stares.

“You’re staring,” Minghao points out, regardless of whether Wonwoo needs to hear it or not. 

Yes, Wonwoo is staring. It doesn’t have to mean anything. 

“Yeah, I’m staring,” Wonwoo shrugs, because there’s no reason to deny it when it’s so obvious. It’s not his fault either, not when the guy is standing above everyone else with how tall he is. He has a pretty laugh and the way his hair is stylishly parted makes him look like a model. 

“Mingyu is pretty, right?” Wonwoo can tell Minghao is smiling behind his glass of Sex on the Beach. He’s not very subtle. 

“Yes, he’s pretty.” He comments, not entertaining Minghao’s teasing. 

“Single, too,” Minghao hums, eyeing him up like he’s actually entertaining the idea. “You’re gonna do something about it?”

Wonwoo huffs, not yet annoyed but close to being. “Do I look like I will? Admiring means nothing. You know I’m not looking for anything.” 

Minghao rolls his eyes, clearly uninterested in any walls Wonwoo tries to pull up. They have been friends for too long for that to work. “And who says he is? Come on, it’s been eight months. You’re never gonna sleep with anyone again?”

He tried. He has, in fact, slept with other people since his terrible break up – not that it’s any of Minghao’s business. It just exhausts him, the dance of pretending to be someone else just to get an attractive person to sleep with you. He’s not in the mood for it, and being himself is… 

(He’s just not the most pleasant person to be with, if track record shows him anything. She never seemed to think so, and would usually get annoyed when he didn’t act that way she thought he was supposed to.)

“A bit inappropriate, don’t you think? We’re at Seungkwan and Hansol’s engagement party.” 

Minghao snorts, not buying the excuse for even a second. “It’s hardly their real party. They’ve been engaged for almost a month, this is just their excuse to get everyone shitfaced drunk and laid. It’s perfectly appropriate, actually. Euphoria is in the air, chemicals in the brain and whatnot.” 

“Maybe you should take your own advice then, no?” Wonwoo retorts, knowing it’s a low blow that he points with his head towards Junhui. 

Minghao’s face freezes for a second, and Wonwoo almost feels bad, apology on the tip of his tongue. “That’s a work in progress.” 

“No progress, more like. See, I won’t push you and you won’t push me. Doesn’t that sound like a nice deal?” Wonwoo offers. 

“Suit yourself. I think Seokmin is gonna try to sleep with him, anyway.” He saunters away to resume his position at his favorite spot, with an arm thrown around Junhui. Wonwoo fights the urge to roll his eyes – other people’s love lives are not his business, no matter how close they are. 

Seokmin doesn’t try to sleep with Mingyu, or at least he doesn’t get to. 

Instead, at some point during the night and a handful of drinks in, Wonwoo takes a second to fondly look at his friends – Seungkwan has both arms secure around Hansol’s neck, engagement ring matching the glint in their eyes, both flushed and happy. Wonwoo is happy for them; they have always been loudly and unbearably in love. 

He nods to Hansol, and then finds himself outside the bar, cold air blowing in his face and fogging up his glasses a little. A few minutes later Mingyu walks out, and before he can catch up with it he’s sharing a cigarette with the guy. 

“So what do you do for a living?” Mingyu asks, delicately passing the cigarette to Wonwoo all the while looking at him with this lazy half smile, a tiny thing that makes the back of his neck hot. 

“I’m a photographer,” Wonwoo says after a long drag, the unpleasant smoke stuck in his lungs for a second, giving way to the muscles in his body untensing. “You?”

Mingyu giggles when Wonwoo passes the cigarette back to him. “Damn it, now it’s going to sound like I’m lying, or like I’m hitting on you, but you can ask Seungkwan later. I’m a photographer.” 

He talks fast, the complete opposite of Wonwoo, and it’s more endearing than it has any right to be. He gets cuter by the second, unfortunately, and Wonwoo has barely spoken to him. He can’t imagine what it is like to be subjected to that for long periods of time.

“I believe you. If you were trying to lie to someone about your job I don’t think anyone would pick photographer, of all things.” 

Mingyu laughs, a seemingly genuine sound, like he actually thinks Wonwoo is funny. It’s a weird feeling, as Hansol seems to be the only person who thinks that. “That would be kind of lame. Guess I have to pick another topic to try and hit on you, then.”

Wonwoo tries not to blush, even though he knows it’s useless. It’s a cold night, and he’s probably already flushed from the alcohol. “Save your energy. I’m not – No offense, I’m just not looking for anything.” 

It sounds harsher than he means it to sound, but it doesn’t seem like it offends Mingyu at all. His smile stays on his face, soft and pretty, and he looks like he’s accessing how much truth there is to Wonwoo’s statement. 

“Okay,” Mingyu shrugs. “No hitting on you, then. Friendly conversation or finishing smoking and going back inside?” 

Wonwoo thinks it over. 

“We can stay, it’s kind of stuffy inside,” He decides. “Unless you wanna go back? I heard Seokmin was interested in you.” 

Mingyu laughs again, harder this time, as if it’s the funniest joke he’s ever made. “And who would even say that? God, he’s like, my best friend since middle school.” 

Wonwoo shrugs, selfishly and strangely relieved he gets to talk to Mingyu for a few more minutes without worrying he’s wasting his time, keeping a pretty person for having a good time. “Our friends are a bunch of gossips, I guess. Which leads me to wondering how we’ve never met before.” 

“Ah, that would be because I haven’t been living in Seoul,” He explains, putting out the cigarette, then reaching in his pocket for gum. He offers Wonwoo some, and he gladly takes it. “I have been in Paris for, what, almost two years? I came back to the engagement, I guess, but also to spend some time with family and friends.” 

Oh, well. Not staying, then. “Ah, got it. Paris… That’s very far. I’ve always wanted to go, though.” 

Mingyu chuckles. “Far and weird, too. I still don’t really know if I like it or not, but I guess the experience kept being interesting for long enough to stay. Let’s see if I’ll still say that in a month after I get used to Korea again.” 

Wonwoo doesn’t say it, but it’s not a thing that happens, usually, when someone leaves. They don’t tend to ever miss it enough to come back. 

“You know they’ve been planning to get married there?” He says instead, referring to Hansol and Seungkwan. 

“God, yeah, Seungkwan keeps going on and on about it. It’s sweet, but you know… Newly engaged couples, I guess.” Mingyu shrugs. 

“You don’t get to complain, we see them in our faces constantly. The youngest getting married… It’s getting embarrassing for the rest of us...”

It makes Mingyu laugh again, and it warms Wonwoo’s insides a bit. He’s so stupidly pretty, and the way he laughs gets progressively less controlled and louder, lovelier. 

“They’re not even much younger than me and I can’t imagine having my love life together like that,” Mingyu shakes his head. “I do want to get married, though. But at this pace, probably in twenty years.” 

“I can’t even think about it,” Wonwoo lets escape. “It’s – Well. I just can’t.”

Mingyu seems to pick up on the fact that it’s an uncomfortable subject and promptly changes the topic. 

They end up talking for longer than Wonwoo ever intended to, and Wonwoo tries very hard not to be irreparably charmed by Mingyu after the bump in the conversation, but he comes to realize it’s an impossible task. 

Nothing about Mingyu is sleazy, stuck up, arrogant – he’s sweet, he’s funny and witty, and acts more like an overgrown puppy than some hercules-like arrogant model Wonwoo could’ve taken him for if he judged by appearances.

He listens atentively to what Wonwoo has to say, no matter how stupid he thinks he sounds in his head. He listens, Wonwoo knows, because he adds to it with his own opinions on everything – places they want to photograph for fun, movies they think are overrated, which one of their friends they think would get engaged next. 

So he notices when Mingyu isn’t listening after a while, and he thinks this is it, he finally tired him out. 

“What?” He asks, mid talking about how ugly the last Nolan movie was if not for the actors, sounding more like ‘am I boring you?’ . 

“Sorry,” Mingyu shakes his head as if to focus, a slight frown forming between his eyes. “I promise I’m listening, but can you give me your glasses real quick?” 

“Why?” Wonwoo asks, confused, but he takes them off his face and hands them to Mingyu anyway. 

“Sorry, it’s dumb but if it’s bothering me it has to be bothering you, right?” Mingyu giggles, pulling at the hem of his shirt to delicately and meticulously clean the lenses of Wonwoo’s glasses. “Don’t worry, I know it’s not ideal but my shirt is super soft, I promise. And by the way, I do agree. Tenet sucked.”

He carefully offers Wonwoo his glasses back, but he takes a little too long to think and makes no movement to take the glasses back. Mingyu, lovely Mingyu, steps closer to gently put the glasses back on his face, sweeping a stubborn strand of hair out of his eyes. “There you go.”  

Before he can move away Wonwoo catches him by the wrists. 

“Sorry,” Mingyu says, seeming to think it’s a negative reaction. Wonwoo himself doesn’t know what he intended to do until he does it. 

“I think I’m gonna kiss you, now.” He says faster than his brain can catch up with, and blood rushes through his ears fast enough to quiet the terrifying thought that maybe Mingyu didn’t want him to.

Mingyu freezes, and he looks confused for only a second before breaking into a smile. This is good, right? Wonwoo thinks. It has to be good. “Did you change your mind because of a movie opinion? God, if I knew that would be it I would just be talking bullshit about every movie I’ve ever watched until I got it right.”

Wonwoo deadpans. “Yeah, wow, maybe your brain is just that sexy.” 

Mingyu giggles, low and breathy and adorable, no indication that he wants to pull his wrists free from Wonwoo’s grip. “Hey, I do have a sexy brain.” 

Wonwoo doesn’t resist the urge to roll his eyes, somehow knowing Mingyu won’t take offense. “Yeah, yeah. Do you want me to kiss you or not?” 

“Oh,” He seems to remember himself – and then adds, honey sweet and pleading, so close Wonwoo can almost taste it. “Yes, please.” 

And taste it he does. Mingyu’s lips are pillow soft, if a little dry from the cold, and their mouths taste only faintly of smoke and more of the Mingyu’s gum. 

Mingyu, surprisingly, is a much more mellow kisser than Wonwoo. He makes little noises whenever Wonwoo deepens the kiss, frees his hands only so he can put his own Wonwoo’s shoulders, thumb caressing his collarbones  over the shirt. Wonwoo takes the opportunity to put his own hands on Mingyu’s waist, under his jacket and over his shirt, bringing him close enough for them to be pressed against each other. 

It’s warm, everything is warm, Mingyu’s body and his mouth and the air he lets out when he chuckles against Wonwoo’s lips. “Oh, wow.” 

“What does that mean?” Wonwoo murmurs, only a little suspicious of the glint in Mingyu’s eyes, but not enough to distract him from wanting to dive back into another kiss. 

“Good,” Mingyu says, “Great. I’ve been looking at you all night. Please kiss me again.” 

Wonwoo does, to tune out the admission and because he wants to. He wants to keep kissing and he kind of wants to take Mingyu’s clothes off, to feel if his bare skin is as warm as he thinks he is, if he tastes like honey just like he acts. 

They kiss against the door of Mingyu’s apartment. Wonwoo almost thought they’d be rushing to get their clothes off and get it over with – instead, they kiss slow and deep, and manage to talk in between. 

“Sorry if I –” Wonwoo starts, then winces. “Can we take this slow? I haven’t really done this in a while.” 

Mingyu’s shoulders sag in what he’s sure it’s relief. “Oh. Me neither, actually.” 

He doesn’t mean to show it, but the way his eyebrows shoot up are a dead giveaway of his surprise, and Mingyu pouts at that. “I’m serious.” 

“Sorry, I don’t mean it like that. It’s just… You’re you.” He says as if that explains anything, and it really should. Mingyu only gives him a little smile and shrugs in response. “It’s, uh– seven months.”

“A year, for me. So I win.” Mingyu grins, as if that’s anything to brag about, and maybe that’s the joke. Wonwoo can’t think too much into it, not when Mingyu pulls him in again to press their lips together, then whisper in the tiny space between them. “So really, you have to be a little patient and careful when opening me up.” 

Wonwoo closes his eyes for a second to gain some control, exhaling shakily against Mingyu’s mouth. “I’ll make it good for you. Show me your bed, yeah?” 

Mingyu, good and perfect Mingyu, does just that. 

He fucks him slow and deep, unhurried like they got all the time in the world instead of just this night, and he doesn’t think about the instinctive way Mingyu laces their hands together, the way Wonwoo presses them against the mattress. 

Mingyu talks and moans and pants, not too loud but loud enough to be heard, to make sure Wonwoo knows he feels good – full, hot, go deeper. It’s awfully intimate when Mingyu brings their joined hands to his lips to muffle his loudest moans as he comes, panting wet and hot against the back of Wonwoo’s hand. 

It’s even worse for Wonwoo, who pulls out only to come all over Mingyu’s stomach, foreheads pressed together and Mingyu’s palm on his navel, murmuring praise Wonwoo is not used to hearing. 

It’s not early enough in the morning for it to be light outside after they clean up. This part, he hates the most: the awkwardness. He almost forgot that part. Mingyu made it easy not to think about this part. 

“You know,” Mingyu says lazily, already cozy in his bed, not bothering to look anything but adorable, despite what they just did – sheets tucked under his chin, smiling. It’s cold again. “You can do your thing and leave and it’s all good, but you’re also invited to stay and let me cuddle you.” 

Wonwoo freezes. He should go. 

“I did say I’m not looking for anything.”

“It’s just cuddling, no strings attached. Didn’t we just fuck no strings attached? Same difference.” Mingyu smiles cheekily. He’s dangerously convincing, less because he’s good at arguments and more because he’s so lovely it feels wrong to deny him things. 

He seems to sense Wonwoo’s hesitancy, though, so his smile drops only a little. “It’s really okay if you wanna go. But I’m kind of great at platonic cuddling.” 

“I’m not doubting you.” 

“Alright,” Mingyu shrugs under the sheets. “Promise I won’t propose in the morning.” 

Wonwoo sighs, sounding more defeated than he really feels. Mingyu seems to have figured him out already, because his smile turns blinding again when Wonwoo drops his shoes back down and lies next to him, pulling Mingyu to his chest. 

Mingyu moves until he seems satisfied, face as good as buried in Wonwoo’s neck. It’s awfully hard to deny how comfortable it is, how warm, so he doesn’t say anything. 

“Mn,” Mingyu hums. “Your chest is kinda hard.” 

“Well, are you changing your mind? Want me to leave?” Wonwoo rolls his eyes even though Mingyu can see it, and he really doesn’t intend to leave at all now that they seem to have found the perfectly comfortable position to be. “I’m fucking sorry for being fit, I guess.”

Mingyu’s laugh is melodious despite being muffled, and his arm around Wonwoo’s waist tightens. “It’s fine, I can work with it. You’re invited to make it up to me in the morning after I don’t propose.”

Wonwoo only huffs in response. It doesn’t take a lot after that to fall asleep. 

They exchange numbers in the morning, because it’s only polite, with the promise of a friendship and the promise of Mingyu continuing to not propose. Mingyu makes leaving in the morning not awful or embarrassing. It feels almost good, if a little bittersweet. 

But Wonwoo is still not looking for anything, and a friendship will have to be enough for him to get his fill of Mingyu from then on. 

part ii – Joshua and Jeonghan

He soon finds out that Mingyu is a texter. He texts about anything and everything – a cute dog he saw (he has one, living with his mom); how the art supply store near is apartment is out of his favorite shade of purple (he paints, his favorite shade of purple is berry syrup); how he can’t bear the taste of iced americano anymore since he moved to Paris (he’s aware how pretentious it sounds, but he’s too used to stronger and hot espressos now). 

Wonwoo is terrible at replying, so it makes it more suspicious that Mingyu keeps doing it. It's not that he doesn't know what to reply, he just thinks too much most of the time. And yet with all the words and sentences at his disposal, mixing and jumbling together, trying to form a single coherent thought is stressful enough when all he wants is to simply show that he enjoys talking to Mingyu.

When he asked Seungkwan about it, his only answer was a shrug. “I don’t know, Mingyu is super friendly. He means no harm.” 

And that was that.

He makes an effort to reply to him more and it seems to work like a charm; Mingyu seems content, happy. Enough to even call him a couple of times. Wonwoo loses track of time while listening to him speak.

“Ah, hyung, it's really so nice talking to you.” Mingyu had said on their most recent phone call. He takes to honorific quickly, his voice a mellow little sound, almost whiny. It’s cute, as everything about Mingyu is, and it warms Wonwoo’s heart. 

It’s a dangerous thing, to get fond of someone you remember intimately – how he sounds when he’s lost in pleasure, how his body feels under yours, the weight of your hands when they’re laced together and sharing warmth. Wonwoo tries hard not to think about it. 

It helps that despite the fast growing friendship, they don’t see each other for the next three weeks. The timing is always off, and Wonwoo is partially disappointed and partially relieved. 

It’s not until Mingyu calls him to stress about what gift to bring to Joshua and Jeonghan's housewarming party that they have a concrete chance of seeing each other again. Wonwoo doesn’t mention that he hadn’t thought about Mingyu going, because he realizes how stupid it is . They are Mingyu’s friends, too, and no one else can be blamed for the way he’s blindsided by the idea of seeing Mingyu again. 

He helps Mingyu with his gift over a video call, reassuring him that they’ll love anything he gives them, but his mind is only half in it. 

He keeps thinking about when they said their goodbyes that morning, how Mingyu slipped up and almost leaned in to kiss him. How he stopped and fixed the collar of the shirt Wonwoo had borrowed instead, sending him off with mirrored squeezes on his shoulders. Wonwoo wonders if he remembers, if it’ll be all he thinks about when they see each other again. 

It’s unlikely, though. Mingyu seems to have understood perfectly that Wonwoo wasn’t looking for another relationship, and the way he acted was more or less how everyone had described him as – friendly, gentle, caring. 

It’s a good thing. It’s a safe thing, when it comes to Wonwoo and his terrible habit of getting attached, of being suffocating, of being too intense, of simultaneously wanting too much and showing too little. 

Mingyu is a good friend and a learning lesson. A good balance to his worst habits. 

There’s a brief, awkward silence when they coincidentally arrive at the same time in front of the Jeonghan and Joshua’s building. They look at each other, only a couple of steps away, frozen – until Mingyu smiles at him, warm and inviting, and closes the distance between them to unceremoniously pull him into a hug. 

“Hyung,” He says into his shoulder, taller body curled into Wonwoo’s. “Hi.” 

“Hey, Gyu.” He says, the nickname he had recently picked up on slipping out of him easily. He’s aware this isn’t normal post one night stand behavior, but it’s acceptable friend behavior, at least. “Did you ever get your gift?” 

“Mn, did,” He says, and Wonwoo must be imagining the way he feels like Mingyu is reluctant to pull away. “It felt a bit impersonal, though, so I painted them something.” 

Wonwoo chuckles. “It’s supposed to be useful, come on. I’m giving them cutlery,” and then because he doesn’t want to be misinterpreted, “but I’m sure they’ll appreciate your painting.” 

“And if it’s ugly Shua hyung won’t let Jeonghan hyung take it off their wall anyway, so I win.” 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “As if they won’t both love it. Come on, it’s too cold outside, let’s go up.” 

If anyone has anything to comment on the fact that they technically arrive together at the party, they keep it to themselves. Wonwoo hadn’t actually thought about the fact that most of their friends must’ve already figured out they’ve slept together, but he tries hard to suppress any anxiety about it.

It’s a good thing that Jeonghan is too busy to tease. He looks happier than Wonwoo’s ever seen him, smiling a bit silly and much less cunning than usual. He’s lovestruck, Wonwoo realizes, and both him and Joshua are glowing, constantly looking around their apartment and at each other as if they can’t believe that it’s real and it’s theirs. 

Predictably, they love Mingyu’s painting, as it is incredibly sweet – a recreation of  one of their pictures in California, many years before, hands joined while they look at the sea. It was taken before they were dating, Joshua explains, but he was already sure that he wanted to, back then. 

“Told you they were gonna love it. They’re saps.” Wonwoo squeezes Mingyu’s knee. “It’s very pretty.” 

“You hadn’t even seen it yet, though.” Mingyu pouts, but there is no heat behind the callout. 

“I didn’t have to.” Wonwoo says, and doesn’t bother explaining. He doesn’t think Mingyu understands how everyone sees him. How reliable, how gentle.

“They look so happy,” Mingyu motions to the couple. “I think I really want that, someday. To share a space with someone like this. Is it lame that I kind of dream of this sort of domesticity?”

“No,” Wonwoo tells him softly, forcing himself to ignore the pain that takes over his chest because of the sensitive topic. “It’s a good dream to have. You just gotta make sure it works.” 

“I’d make it work,” Mingyu decides, bordering on naive. “I’d be a good househusband.” 

It’s a sweet resolution. Wonwoo, for his part, refrains from giving him a life lesson and teasing him about it. He feels protective of him, somehow.   

That part of him shows even more when, throughout the night, Wonwoo notices that their friends tend to tease Mingyu to their heart’s content in order to contain the overwhelming fondness he causes in them. 

Wonwoo, new to the dynamic and having not built any resistance to his charms at all, instinctively rushes to his defense at the silliest of banters, only making everyone else look at him with matching smiles he can’t figure out the meaning of. 

Like when Mingyu drops a glass, and the cacophony of whistles and half-hearted complaints fill the room as quickly as the plastic hits the ground. 

“Mingyu-yah, come on, already?” Joshua shakes his head, fake disapprovingly.

“They haven’t even baby proofed the house for you yet.” Seungcheol laughs, and it makes Mingyu pout, his eyes going big like a kicked puppy’s. 

In the back of his head, he knows they’re all just joking. He can’t deny that it’s funny, how clumsy Mingyu is: all big limbs and excited big movements. 

It’s just – Instinct, or something. 

“Guys, really, it’s just plastic. It didn’t even break.” He points out, passing Mingyu a mop while he finishes picking up the spilled cheese tteokbokki off the ground.

“What are you, his lawyer?” Seungkwan squints at him. 

“Yeah, yeah, Wonwoo is his knight in shining armor, whatever, get out of my kitchen.” Jeonghan shoos them away. 

“Hyung, you can’t even fry an egg. Let’s be real, this is the most action your kitchen is gonna get in a while.” Mingyu says cheekily, unaffected by the teasing, as expected. 

Jeonghan calls him a brat and hits him with a drying cloth. 

It’s already late by the time everyone starts to leave, and Wonwoo has to admit he has a little too much wine in him to be able to drive responsibly. He takes a moment to notice the way his body has relaxed throughout the night and he’s now mostly leaning against Mingyu’s, who’s equally leaning against him, too, and had been all night – there had been touches, though nothing suggestive. 

It was comfortable finding himself with a hand on Mingyu’s knee, or Mingyu's head leaning on his shoulder. It had been a comfort that no one had commented on it, either. They’re a touchy group of friends, after all, and it’s nothing out of the ordinary to see one of them hanging off of another, and they had been far from even doing that. 

“You guys wanna be the first ones to crash in the guest room?” It’s Jeonghan who asks. They look at each other, him and Mingyu, clearly thinking the same thing, and it makes Jeonghan roll his eyes. “We’re not planning on a celebratory fuck, if you guys are worried about that. We’ve done that. It’s late and you’re drunk, Wonwoo.” 

“I’ll get a cab, it’s fine.” Wonwoo reassures him. 

“I didn’t drink at all, so I can drop you off.” Mingyu offers. Something in Wonwoo’s stomach twists at the offer, and he can’t place his finger on why. However, Jeonghan must have taken it as an acceptance, because he just shrugs. 

“Alright, suit yourselves. Be careful, though.”

“You’re sure you’re not too tired to drive?” Joshua asks, concern clear on his face. 

Mingyu shakes his head and it makes Wonwoo feel awful. He almost tells him he should stay and Wonwoo really can just get a cab, but Mingyu shoots them a smile and nods. “I’m fine. Let’s go, Wonu-hyung. Thank you for tonight, hyungs.” 

The car ride is surprisingly quiet, save for the low volume of the songs playing on the radio. Mingyu hums along quietly, his sweet voice filling the silence every now and then. Wonwoo tries to be inconspicuous about assessing him, and he doesn’t know if he’s successful, but he realizes Mingyu really looks tired. 

It’s mostly what gets him to - in the heat of the moment - blurt out the sentence when Mingyu pulls up at the front of his building. “Sorry you had to drive me. Do you – You’re tired, right? You should sleep over.” 

“I wanted to,” Mingyu shrugs, “and I don’t live too far from here. I don’t wanna impose.” 

“Let me repay the favor, then. I’ll worry about you as soon as you leave, I feel like you’re about to fall asleep.” 

He can see the cogs turning in Mingyu’s head as he tries to find an excuse to decline, but the exhaustion seems to win the battle in the end. “No strings attached cuddling?” He says, giving Wonwoo a small smile. 

Wonwoo doesn’t answer, simply rolls his eyes despite his own hints of a smile threatening to make an appearance as he tells Mingyu to park at his spot. 

“Your place is cozy,” Mingyu comments sincerely, and Wonwoo has to swallow down the terrifying realization that this is the first time that someone - who is not a long-time friend - has set foot in his place. The new one. 

(Before, when she left him and all her things at their apartment, he couldn’t bear to live in a place that was haunted; every piece of furniture and every nook and corner had traces of someone who carved a place in Wonwoo’s life and decided the soil wasn’t worth the work, not enough to stay. 

Wonwoo had to leave too, in the end, and this place had been a blessing. Still is.) 

Letting Mingyu inside without a second thought requires all the strength he has left for internal crisis contention. He’s a friend , he repeats in his head. Yes, you slept with him and you’re trying to repress all the details so it can remain that way, but he’s a friend. He’s a good person, and it’s not the end of the world to let him into your space. 

“Can I wash my face in your bathroom?” He asks softly, voice getting lower and lower with the tiredness finally fully taking over him. 

Wonwoo hands him his facewash and a spare toothbrush, and gives him his own clothes to sleep in. 

“I was kidding, by the way,” Mingyu says when they’re finally under the sheets, after he forced Wonwoo to take a glass of water, and their eyes are barely open. “You don’t have to – It’s your place. If it makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to.” 

But Wonwoo finds that he does want to. It’s nice to have someone close without panicking over insecurities and uncertainties. Mingyu wants to be close, and he likes his company; he makes it clear, as simple as that. 

He huffs. “I would have kicked you out if I was uncomfortable. Come on.”

Mingyu smiles triumphantly, pleased, like Wonwoo just gave him a gift. “Ah, but no. I wanna be the big spoon today. Don’t get it twisted though, I’m usually the little spoon.” 

Wonwoo almost laughs at someone at Mingyu’s size calling himself a little spoon. “I’m too tired to argue.” 

He lets Mingyu rearrange them until they’re pressed flush together, Wonwoo’s back to his chest, the cold tip of Mingyu’s nose buried in his hair, their legs fit together like puzzle pieces. “Good?” 

“Mn,” Wonwoo murmurs, halfway to sleep. 

“Night, hyung. I’ll drive you to pick up your car tomorrow.” 

“Mn, Gyu...” Wonwoo repeats his own noise, too close to falling asleep to even tell Mingyu to stop being so nice. 

part iii - Minghao and Junhui

Wonwoo’s phone vibrates somewhere on his bed and beeps with the distinctive sound of incoming text messages, one after the other. He’s barely awake as he pats down blindly on his bed until he finds it, then reaches for his glasses on the bedside table. 

He’s somehow not surprised at all to find out that Mingyu is the one texting him at 10 am on a Saturday morning. 

From: Gyu 

hyung can you come keep me company 

oh good morning

i’m out with minghao and we bumped into jun hyung

so you know they’re being gross

help???????

Wonwoo feels himself warm up despite the grogginess of sleep, a smile finding its way to his face. 

To: Gyu

where are you

good morning gyu

From: Gyu

GOOD MORNING 

you’re the best ily we’re in cheonggyecheon

near the park

To: Gyu

i’m 10 minutes away

give me another 10 to get ready

From: Gyu

there’s sun

it’s nice outside

There’s little he can do but go. He’s known Mingyu for a little over three months, and already he finds himself helpless to do anything but comply with whatever he wants.

He lives near Cheonggyecheon - near enough that he manages to make it in exactly 20 minutes. He texts Mingyu for a location and finds them with little effort, talking by the stream as they wait for him. 

Mingyu was right; it’s a considerably warmer day than all the previous ones, the spring arriving in a flurry of flowers and cherry trees. It’s light, too, the sun peaking out enough to make him glow under it – he’s dressed in all black, a beanie on his head and the red string of his camera sitting around his neck. Wonwoo chuckles at how they’re dressed almost the same way, if not for the headband in his own hair. 

It takes him an embarrassingly long minute to notice Minghao and Junhui in front of Mingyu, talking way too close and making eyes at each other, and it reminds him that is the reason he was asked to tag along in the first place. 

Mingyu decides to look up at the right moment to see Wonwoo approaching them, and the way his smile widens almost stops Wonwoo in his tracks, the set of pointy ends of his teeth on full display.

“Hyung,” He greets with his voice dripping like honey around the honorific, then raises the camera up to his face and snaps a picture of Wonwoo. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Wonwoo winces at the surprise picture, a little self-conscious. 

“Morning, sunshine,” Minghao greets him. “Even though it’s almost noon.” 

“Did Mingyu beg you to come?” Junhui asks, exchanging teasing looks with Minghao.

Wonwoo hums, unable to hide the smirk on his face. “A little.” 

Mingyu protests with an incredule little laugh. “Ah, hyung… You don’t deserve this then.” 

He notices that with the hand he’s not holding the camera, Mingyu has a brown paper cup with what he assumes it’s coffee. Wonwoo can recognize the logo to be from one of the more expensive coffee shops two streets away, and resists the urge to tease Mingyu about some of his more bougie tastes. 

He smiles at Mingyu and extends his hand, and despite the whining, he promptly places the still warm cup in his hand. He wraps his fingers around Mingyu’s briefly, squeezing in recognition of the gesture, and takes it. “Thanks.” 

“Are you done?” Minghao raises an eyebrow at them, as if Wonwoo doesn’t know for a fact that he’s dying to grab Junhui’s hand. 

“What are we doing?” Wonwoo asks, ignoring Minghao completely. 

“Just walking, I guess. Enjoy the outside a little, Jeon Wonwoo – look, that’s a cherry blossom, ever seen one?” Junhui teases.

“Fine, if I have to.” 

Mingyu bumps their shoulders together and they fall into step beside each other, a few steps away from where their companions finally lace their fingers together. 

“What’s up with them?” Wonwoo asks in a low voice, even though he doesn’t think either Minghao or Junhui would pay him any attention anyway, immediately being too absorbed with each other. 

Mingyu shrugs. “I don’t know, they’ve been unbearable all morning.” 

They observe them for a few minutes: the way they can’t seem to stop smiling, can’t seem to walk at a distance where they aren’t brushing shoulders, elbows, holding hands. 

Junhui leans in to whisper something to Minghao, and the younger takes the opportunity to press a feather-like kiss to his cheek. Well. 

“Do you think they…?” Wonwoo motions between them.

Mingyu’s eyes widen almost comically. “Minghao would tell me, right?” 

“Maybe it’s new. They seem especially close today,” Wonwoo hums. “You said you bumped into Junhui? Coincidentally?”

“Oh my god, do you think he called him?” Mingyu gasps.

“I think...” Wonwoo starts carefully, pausing to sip at his coffee, and Mingyu hangs on to his every word. “I think they’re both careful people and it’s not above them to keep it a secret from our nosy friends for a while if it’s new.” 

They observe them for a while as they walk – Minghao rolling his eyes at something Jun says even though it’s clear by the way he laughs that he found it funny, Jun reaching over to delicately sweep something off his face. Wonwoo hears the click of Mingyu’s camera going off and looks at him.

“They’re sweet, aren’t they? I think it took them long enough.” He’s watching them with fondness and something akin to longing. “I’ve been rooting for them. They both deserve someone who understands them better than anyone else.”

Wonwoo hums in agreement, and he’s glad Mingyu busies himself with taking pictures of their friends, as it stops him from wondering how weird it would be to brush their knuckles together. 

“Do you think we should… You know, leave them?” Mingyu asks. 

“I...don’t even think they’re gonna notice?” 

Mingyu smiles cheekily. “Come on, then. I’ll buy you lunch, and we can let them have their romantic walk or whatever.” 

“Are you sure?” 

He seems to assess his options for a while, and his eyes gain an extra glint before he speaks. 

“Wait,” Mingyu says. “Stay still. Look to the side.” 

Wonwoo is confused, but complies anyway. 

Click .

“You look so pretty. Now I’m sure, let’s go.” Wonwoo doesn’t have the time to absorb the compliment or try to stop the way his face flushes. Mingyu pulls him by the hand so they can walk back through where they came from, paths diverging completely from Minghao and Junhui, who seem to not even notice there are people around them. 

“Ah, I’m getting hungry already,” Mingyu whines as they make their way back. “Minghao made me walk so much. Should we go to that pizza place right above here? Is that okay with you?” 

Wonwoo takes a second too long to answer, too distracted by the way Mingyu takes his beanie off and runs his fingers through the softly disheveled mess of his hair. Unfortunately, it makes him look even more breathtaking, something about the effortless look fitting him perfectly. 

He wordlessly asks for Mingyu’s camera, who promptly hands it to him with only a confused head tilt. 

Click . 

“Hyung, you didn’t even let me pose,” He pouts when he realizes what Wonwoo wanted the camera for. “and my hair looks like a mess.”

Click. Click. Click. 

“No need to.” Wonwoo shrugs. The ‘you look gorgeous either way’ is left unsaid. “Send those ones to me.” 

Mingyu huffs. “Fine, fair enough. Let’s go get lunch.” 

They end up sending their friends a text to tell them where they’re eating, and receive only an eyebrow-raise emoji in response from Minghao. Wonwoo is adamant he won’t let Mingyu pay for his food, and waits for him to be distracted enough so he can pay for them both. He complains, of course, but Wonwoo pays him no mind. 

“What do you wanna do now?” Mingyu asks as they leave the restaurant, now lazy in their steps as they mindlessly walk towards a considerably less busy street. 

Wonwoo doesn’t tell him he plans on going wherever Mingyu wants to go, but he thinks it. “Lead the way, I don’t have anything specific in mind.”

“Actually, ah,” Mingyu scratches the back of his neck, almost embarrassed. They come to a spot in front of a mostly deserted Ice Cream Shop. “Hyung, don’t kill me, but I’m kind of tired.” 

Wonwoo’s stomach drops, and even he thinks it’s a bit dramatic. He just thought – He wanted to spend more time with Mingyu. 

“It’s okay, Gyu.” He assures him. 

“Hyung, I’m really sorry,” He pouts, pulling out the most effective puppy eyes. “I know I’m the one who made a big deal out of the weather being nice outside and all, but Minghao made me walk so much and post-lunch laziness is hitting me, and –” 

“Gyu, seriously, it’s okay. It was nice.” He reaches out to squeeze his arm, effectively stopping the fast stream of words coming out from the boy. “I had a good time.” 

Any small amount of time with you is nice , he thinks. No matter how much longer he finds himself wishing it could be. 

“You’re really not upset?” 

Wonwoo smiles at him, fondness overflowing in his chest, soothing the disappointment like a balm. “I’m not that much of an outside person anyway, you know? It’s okay.” 

“Okay.” Mingyu murmurs, seemingly appeased. 

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Wonwoo offers, and doesn’t understand the look of confusion that crosses Mingyu’s face. 

“Oh,” He breathes out, a frown appearing between his eyes. “I was gonna ask if you wanted to come back to my place and watch something? Unless you have plans! Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.” 

“I thought you were dismissing me?” 

“Oh my god, why would I –” 

They realize the stupidity of their miscommunication at the same time, and Wonwoo can’t help but laugh along when Mingyu cracks up, curving his body towards Wonwoo’s for support, practically hugging him. 

“I don’t know why you’d think I’d send you away,” He says, smiling widely and way too close to Wonwoo’s face. “I think you underestimate how clingy I am, especially to you.” 

Wonwoo pointedly looks at the way Mingyu is dedicated to be hanging off of him, despite the fact that Mingyu is 5 centimeters taller, and Wonwoo very much instinctively wraps an arm around him anyway. “I think I have some idea.” 

“But you don’t hate it, do you?” He pouts, and he really is so dangerously close that it makes it obvious when Wonwoo’s eyes drop to his lips. “Hyung.” 

“Jury’s still out.” Wonwoo manages to get out, swallowing hard and clearly lying through his teeth.

There’s a second where they fall in perfect sync, then eyeing each other’s lips, then locking gazes; their breaths so close and the tips their noses brushing against each other in a feather-like touch – 

– and Wonwoo thinks this is where he ruins everything and kisses Mingyu again. This is the moment he breaks his rules and his resolve and ruins whatever friendship they’ve managed to build. 

(He knows in the back of his mind that Mingyu is nothing like the girl who up and left him almost a year before, who woke up one day and decided Wonwoo was too inadequate. Despite knowing him for only enough months that you can count on one hand he knows Mingyu is sincere, and he’s kind, and he would let him down easily if he had to. 

It’s just. 

It’s just –) 

But then two people walk behind them and into the Ice Cream Shop and they jump apart, remembering they’re in a public sidewalk, and Wonwoo doesn’t know if the sigh he lets out is truly out of relief; not when some agonizing feeling lodges itself in his chest. 

“We should go.” Mingyu smiles gently and starts to walk away. Wonwoo’s hand instinctively reaches out to grab his wrist. 

He doesn’t know what the look on his face is, and he doesn’t know what he’s silently pleading for, but he is.

He doesn’t know, but Mingyu seems to understand it perfectly, smile softening even more as he frees his hand from Wonwoo’s, only to immediately lace their fingers together and squeeze his hand reassuringly. “Come on, hyung. Drive me home so we can make fun of bad movies and fall asleep on my new couch.” 

Wonwoo nods, and leads them to where he parked his car. 

The tightness in his chest loosens up, but only a little. 

He doesn’t know what he meant, but somehow he knows this is where things diverge. Hope is a cruel, dangerous thing,  but there’s an overwhelming bit of it telling him that maybe, if he’s lucky, if he’s good and patient and says what he means, history won’t repeat itself. 

Maybe something’s changed. 

He’s falling. 

He’s – 

part iv – Seungkwan and Hansol

Come September, Seungkwan and Hansol’s wedding is a grand affair, despite the considerably exclusive list of guests. It’s opulent and beautiful, and it makes it clear to everyone that Hansol continues to stop at nothing to give Seungkwan whatever he wants. 

It’s very them . From the flowers to the dome to the locations, everything in the outside secret garden of the luxurious hotel screams fairy tale, and fairy tale is exactly the description that fits them; each other’s first love since sixteen. Unwavering love. 

“Fuck, why am I so nervous? I feel like it’s my wedding.” Mingyu says from behind him after having disappeared for at least forty minutes back to their shared suit, walking back out to the Grand Jardin while still fussing with his undone tie. 

He looks mindblowingly perfect in his tailored three-piece suit and his hair parted in that perfect way. Wonwoo’s favorite. It steals his breath away. 

They’re matching colors, as Wonwoo knew they would be; Mingyu in shades of stone blue and light gray, Wonwoo is navy blue and dark gray. It was Seungkwan’s who had made sure to color coordinate all the couples since they were gonna be together most of the party anyway, and he wanted it to look aesthetically pleasing in the pictures. 

Wonwoo hadn’t corrected him when he included him and Mingyu in “couples”. They weren’t, but – 

“Wow,” It’s Mingyu who says, reaching up to touch the dyed strands. “Hyung, I’m still not used to your gray hair. It’s too much for my heart.”

“I don’t know why you like it so much,” Wonwoo murmurs, unable to stop himself from blushing. Out of instinct he snatches the tie from Mingyu’s clumsy hands, taking the matter into his own. Once or twice now they have ended up working together on a formal event, and both times Wonwoo has had to fix his tie. Third one, now.   

“You look like an idol,” Mingyu says. “I mean, you always look good, but I feel like I shouldn’t be allowed to touch you now. Especially in this suit.”

“You really do just say stuff.” Wonwoo flushes harder, busying himself with untangling Mingyu’s tie and straightening it out, then looping it back around his neck. He’s glad they’re in a more secluded area of the garden, with how intimate it feels. “You look good, too. Gorgeous.” 

“So you can compliment me but I can’t compliment you?” He pouts, but is pliant and cooperative as Wonwoo goes about fixing him up. 

He pulls the collar of Mingyu’s dress shirt up, meticulously aligning the baby blue tie and looping the knot, well practiced enough that he does it with ease.  “Mn, exactly. Glad we’re agreeing on this.”

“Unfair and mean.” Mingyu complains with a sweet smile on his face, the one he has when he knows Wonwoo is playing right into his hand. 

Wonwoo pushes the knot of the tie up until it’s sitting snugly around Mingyu’s neck, then smoothes down the collar with deft fingers. When he’s done, without meaning to, his thumbs rest on the exposed skin right above Mingyu’s collar for a little too long, mesmerized.

Mingyu isn’t smiling when he looks up at him, but he has a glint in his eyes. “Ah, now I remember why I’m nervous.”

Wonwoo can’t help his eye roll. “Stop flirting with me.”  

“You know I can’t. I get stupid when I’m around you, and my mouth gets a mind of its own.”  

Before Wonwoo can say anything they hear Mingyu’s phone beep, and he takes one look at it before shrugging at Wonwoo. “Seungkwan calls.” 

“Mn, go to him. I’ll see you when the ceremony starts.” 

Mingyu leans down to press a shy, delicate kiss to Wonwoo’s cheek. “Thank you.”

And then, before he leaves, he reaches for the inside pocket of his jacket and pulls out Wonwoo’s glasses, then gently puts them on his face. “You forgot.” 

“Thank you.”

They’re not together, not yet, but it hasn’t been tearing either of them to pieces. 

It’s good, what they have: the way things have been changing for the past months. They don’t kiss, not on the lips, but they touch. 

It’s like Wonwoo has been relearning tenderness for months, relearning that touch and feelings don’t have to be rushed. Even if sometimes he almost feels sore from it – when his hands find Mingyu’s waist, or Mingyu puts a hand on the back of his neck and it all feels like an iron brand – it feels right. It feels good. 

Moreover, Mingyu stays. The whole time, he stays and waits and never rushes. As a matter of fact, Wonwoo already stopped thinking of it as waiting, since Mingyu seems to be just as content to stay without wanting for anything back. 

He never mentions moving back to Paris, not even when they arrived in the city, and he couldn’t stop talking about all his favorite places. All he does is tell Wonwoo he’s going to take him there and photograph him, planning their nine remaining days of vacation after the ceremony as a unit, do-not-separate.

(At some point, Wonwoo had stopped comparing Mingyu to someone else. He wasn’t healed, not completely, and his progress certainly wasn’t exclusively thanks to Mingyu, but he helps. Most importantly, he stays.) 

For his part, he doesn’t feel like he’s waiting. He’s not anxious for the first time in a while. He’s steady and calm, because he knows they’re dangling closer and closer to the edge of something inevitable.

They’re inevitable, he’s sure. 

All there’s left is for the perfect time to come.

It’s not long before Mingyu takes his seat beside him.  He glows under the late afternoon sun, and Wonwoo wonders if his heart will ever stop feeling funny whenever he sees him again, regardless of how long they’re separated for - fifteen minutes or a month. 

“Everything okay?”

“Crisis averted,” He nods. “Look, here they come.” 

They watch as Hansol walks down the aisle first, arms linked with his father, looking every bit the prince charming he is, trying and failing to contain how hard he’s smiling. 

However, the emotions start overflowing the atmosphere as soon as Seungkwan appears – he looks beautiful, as expected, and they all see the moment Hansol starts crying as if a dam breaks inside of him and he’s unable to not overflow. 

Seungkwan gently takes his face in his hands as soon as he’s within arm’s reach and wipes his tears away. 

“You’re ruining your makeup.” He whispers. 

Wonwoo feels when Mingyu’s hand finds his, lacing their fingers together and squeezing hard. When Wonwoo turns to see him, his eyes are misted with tears that are dangerously close to falling. Because he can, he brings their joined hands to his mouth and kisses the back of Mingyu’s hand. 

Mingyu smiles at him, thankful and shaky, and Wonwoo makes sure to keep their joined hands on his lap for the rest of the ceremony. 

“I don’t remember at what age we fell in love,” Seungkwan starts when they can finally say their vows, holding Hansol’s hands between his. “Isn’t that absurd? But I wouldn’t know because I simply don’t remember a time when I wasn’t in love with you. You’re my best friend, the love of my life and my soulmate, and I’ve never doubted that. I have never wavered. I’ve already given you my all, and I will continue to. So that’s what I can give you: all of me and all my love, unwavering.”

“I’ve always known we would get to this point. I used to hate when people doubted me when we were younger, and I said I was going to spend the rest of my life with you. It made me angry because they didn’t know me.  You know me better than anyone, and you’ve always believed in me. I’ve always been steady, always certain. Thank you for being certain, too, and thank you for trusting me. I love you, and you have me. Always.”  

Wonwoo doesn’t expect himself to start shedding tears at the end of their vows, like everyone else, but he does anyway. Mingyu bawls next to him, and Wonwoo chuckles at the way the tears are dripping down his face, like love overflowing.

“You’re a mess.” Wonwoo gives him a smile, his own voice deeper than usual from the tears he’s trying to hold in. 

“Hyung.” He whines, his voice a heavy and trembling little whisper, which is as good as an admission. 

“Come here,” Wonwoo beckons him closer. He pulls the handkerchief from his pocket, even though Mingyu has an identical one he could use, and gently takes his face between his hands to wipe his tears. 

“This is the first time I’ve seen you cry.” He murmurs. 

“Happy tears, at least.” Wonwoo reassures him.

“I’ll try to keep it that way,” Mingyu says as if it’s his responsibility. Wonwoo is awfully fond of him. “Thank you.” 

Wonwoo shakes his head. “No need for thanks between us.” 

After they wait at the salon for the garden to be transformed into their reception venue, the party really starts; and though Hansol and Seungkwan surely dazzle everyone as newlyweds, Wonwoo only has eyes for Mingyu.

He’s so happy that he’s glowing, the way Wonwoo now knows is a thing that happens when Mingyu is in a loving environment –  Mingyu is love; he thrives in it and he loves it, he has so much of it inside of his heart to give and never seems to run out. 

He watches as Mingyu takes pictures of him, of their friends and the family and the new husbands; watches him dance with their aunts and make people laugh.

Mingyu thrives in love, and Wonwoo wants to give him that. He can give him that, because he’s terribly in love with him. 

He’s inevitably in love with Kim Mingyu, and the thought of it is not nearly as terrifying as it could be. It’s fulfilling, comforting.

He only realizes he’s looking at Mingyu with lovestruck focus when Seungkwan appears in front of him and waves a hand in front of his face. 

“Aren’t you gonna dance with me, hyung?” Seungkwan offers him his hands, and Wonwoo gladly lets himself be pulled to the dance floor by his friend. 

“I’m surprised your husband is letting you out of his sight,” Wonwoo leans in to whisper to Seungkwan, only to tease Hansol about it, who’s certainly already watching over them like a hawk. “Ah, nevermind, he’s looking.” 

Seungkwan laughs and rolls his eyes. “When is he not? Hansol’s an idiot.” 

A beat. 

“Oh, he is my husband. I married an idiot.” He sighs dramatically, but his eyes sparkle and his melodic voice wraps around the words with more love than Wonwoo has ever heard.

“Mn, a bit too late to notice, but good job.” Wonwoo laughs, gently swaying them around the dance floor.  “It was a beautiful ceremony, Kwannie.” 

“And how would you know?” Seungkwan squints at him. “I was told you were looking at Mingyu the entire time.” 

Wonwoo flushes. “Not all the time, but… Well.” 

Without meaning to, or maybe a meaning to a little, his eyes find Mingyu dancing with Seokmin, both laughing as they try to twirl each other. 

“I don’t get you, either of you.” Seungkwan shakes his head in clear disapproval. “What’s left?” 

Wonwoo makes a confused noise. 

“For you to be together, I mean. You’ve been dancing around each other for months.” 

Ah, well. He doesn’t think he even knows how to explain it to Seungkwan, or anyone, for the matter. “The time will come. I think we’ll know.” 

“He knows,” Seungkwan rolls his eyes. 

“Should you be meddling today out of all days?” Wonwoo laughs, shaking his head at Seungkwan’s frustrated frown. “It’s your wedding.” 

“Yeah, yeah. That means we’ve transcended your relationship problems but my charitable soul can’t help itself.” Seungkwan waves him off. “Wonwoo, he knows. He’s known since you met.” 

He involuntarily makes a noise on the back of his throat. “What?”

“I’m not gonna tell you details, you should just ask him, but the first night – He has known for a while. I’m proud that you figured it out, but please, go to him. I know he’s glad to wait even if nothing comes out of it, but all of us around you are not. Just go.” 

As if planned, and Wonwoo wouldn’t doubt Seungkwan at this point, Seokmin and Mingyu approach them, and Seokmin offers his hand to their married friend. “Let’s see how long it takes for Hansol to come and steal you.” 

Relentless in the teasing of his own husband, Seungkwan squeezes Wonwoo’s hand in encouragement one last time before walking away. That leaves Mingyu and him, facing each other and twin smiles plastered on their faces. 

“Are you gonna ask me to dance or what?” Mingyu asks, looking so sweet in his now slightly disheveled hair and dress shirt, suit jacket long forgotten at their table. 

“I wanted to, but you looked like you were having fun. I didn’t want to interrupt it.” Wonwoo puts one of his hands on Mingyu's waist, now such a familiar gesture to him, and takes one of his hands. 

Mingyu huffs. “You wouldn’t. I always have the most fun with you, and I’ve been waiting.” 

They lock eyes and Mingyu puts a hand on his shoulder, thumbing at Wonwoo’s collarbone, a habit he picked up throughout the months. “I know, Gyu. Thank you for waiting.” 

He means it in more ways than one, in all the ways. 

“It’s worth it. I’ll wait for anything you want to give me.” He waits a few seconds, then immediately whines and cringes. “Ah, hyung, aren’t you gonna tell me to stop flirting with you?”

Wonwoo hums. “Mn...No, do flirt with me, Mingyu.” 

Mingyu looks choked, his face flushing a deep shade of pink. “What – No! Now I can’t.” 

“Why not?” 

He seems to redden even more. “I’m shy and – Well, now I’m scared you’re going to flirt back.” 

“And if I do?” Wonwoo pushes, thoroughly enjoying being the one to make Mingyu shy for once. 

“Hyung – Don’t. If you flirt with me right now I’m gonna die and then I’m gonna want to kiss you so bad, and I can’t do it with everyone still around us.”

Wonwoo wants to clutch at his chest as if it’s going to do anything to stop the way he feels; the way he seems to overflow with love and affection and want for the man in front of him. He looks at Mingyu, clumsy and smart, caring and patient, perfect Kim Mingyu, the loveliest and most loving person he’s ever met, and he knows . 

There’s no moment more perfect than this one – there’s no single perfect moment at all. He wants Wonwoo, and Wonwoo wants him back and everything else is secondary to that. 

“Alright, come with me.” 

Mingyu’s eyes widen as he takes him by the hand, sneakily making a stop at their table only to grab Mingyu’s discarded jack and throw it over his shoulder. The younger follows him wordlessly, but his hand squeezes Wonwoo’s tight as he lets himself be dragged away from the party. 

He walks them towards the alcoves along the edges of the Grand Jardin, fully decorated in long strands of vines and realistic looking blue and white flowers, hidden from the rest of the party by a line of perfect topiary trees. 

“Jeon Wonwoo, did you bring me here to ravish me?” Mingyu jokes, but Wonwoo can tell he’s nervous. 

“I’m here to tell you something, if you want to hear it. Then you can decide you want to be ravished or not.” 

Mingyu freezes. “Oh my god, okay. Do you think I should sit down for this?”

Wonwoo can’t help the laugh that escapes him. “Are you nervous?” A nod. “It’s just me, sweetheart.”

“I can’t help it if it’s you.” Mingyu says with so much sincerity that Wonwoo can feel his own steadiness almost slip. 

Wonwoo reaches up to reverently rest a hand on Mingyu’s face, thumb brushing feather-like over the apple of his cheek. He leans into the touch, mellow and pliant, hopeful. “Hyung?”

“Sorry, I don’t know where to start,” Wonwoo swallows hard, but decides he should just let himself go for it. “I feel like you already know, but I also know you want to hear it. It’s just…  I’m terrified, still. Not of you, never of you, but you know me. I’m insecure and I have barely resolved relationship issues and I tend to fall into denial… but you are so brave, and I want to be that for you too.” 

“Not that brave,” Mingyu murmurs, eyes misty as he leans even more into Wonwoo’s touch. “I’m terrified right now.” 

“Don’t be.” Wonwoo shakes his head. “You remember when we first met, and I told you I wasn’t looking for anything?”

Mingyu nods. 

“It’s because I couldn’t dare to hope for anything. I remember every single thing you've told me about love, about what you wanted and dreamed of... and I was crushed that I thought I couldn’t be that for you. But I want to –”

He breathes, almost frustrated with himself that he can’t get the words out fast enough. 

“– I’ve been falling terribly in love with you. I want to take the millions of chances you’ve been giving me and I want to give you everything you dream of. I’m here at my most vulnerable, chest open and heart in hands to tell you that I want to be what you’ve been looking for.”

“Hyung.” Mingyu says, his honeyed voice a tiny, trembling little thing that nearly brings Wonwoo to his knees. “You are. God, you didn’t even let me prepare, I know I’m gonna sound so cheesy but you already do have my heart. I haven’t been looking for anything because I already found you. You’re better than any dream I had.” 

Wonwoo chuckles, heart full and his own eyes watering. He wants too much, wants to do and give this man so much and he can barely believe he gets to. They have time, they have each other, and they’re willing. There’s love to be taken and given and to grow. 

“You’re right,” Wonwoo nods. “We’re cheesy.” 

Mingyu groans but laughs along, the cute giggle Wonwoo adores. “We’re allowed to. It’s a wedding in Paris and we just confessed.” 

“It was more of a reassurance than a confession.” Wonwoo shrugs. 

“Yah, don’t ruin it.” Mingyu clicks his tongue. “And I’d like to be ravished now.” 

Naturally, Wonwoo’s heart skips a beat but he complies. 

He pulls Mingyu down gently, and just to be cheeky, whispers when they’re close enough. “I think I’m going to kiss you now.” 

He can hear Mingyu’s breath hitching, and dives in to steal the sound from his mouth. There’s a full body shiver that goes through him when their lips touch, and it’s not electrifying – instead, it’s a deep satisfaction, the feeling of belonging, of coming home. 

He parts Mingyu’s lips to brush their tongues together, swallowing every hum and every moan that spills into his mouth; he pushes a pliant Mingyu against the nearest pillar of the alcove and and lets his hands roam – chest, stomach, waist. 

Mingyu, on the other hand, rakes his nails through his scalp, makes a mess of the dyed gray strands he’s obsessed with, uses the interludes between one kiss and the next to whisper his name, or the honorific he always says as if tasting candy.

He presses a line of kisses down Mingyu’s throat, sucking a mark right above the collar of his shirt and tearing a satisfied moan out of him, and a brand new sensation of pride arises in his chest in knowing that it’ll be visible no matter what Mingyu wears the next day, 

He’s about to do something reckless – like pull Mingyu’s dress shirt free from his pants so he can touch skin – when they’re interrupted by two familiar voices and faces. 

“Well, I see we got here too late,” Jeonghan smirks, a stolen bottle of champagne in hands and Joshua pressed flush against his back.

“Mn, let’s let the kids have their fun.” Joshua kisses his boyfriend’s cheek appeasingly.

“Don’t you have a room?” Wonwoo asks, unashamed and unwilling to pull away from Mingyu, who’s blushing hard and biting down at his already swollen bottom lip. 

“So do you.” Jeonghan shrugs. 

He exchanges a look with Mingyu, and an understanding passes between them. “You’re right, actually.” 

“Usually am.” Jeonghan shrugs. “Have fun.”

He pulls Mingyu by the hand, “Let’s go.” 

Wonwoo ignores Jeonghan and Joshua’s catcalls and whistles as they leave them behind, but Mingyu giggles and gives them a thumbs up. 

Mingyu is a sight laid out of the expensive sheets of the hotel, naked perfection Wonwoo can’t even begin to decide where he wants to touch first. He decides to lean down and press an open mouthed kiss above his heart. “Hyung.” 

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t slept with anyone since you.” He confesses. It hits Wonwoo straight in the chest. 

“I – Me neither, but why?” 

Mingyu shrugs. “I knew I wanted the next time to be with you, and all the times after that.” 

Wonwoo is terribly, awfully in love with him. “I’m gonna make you feel good, always. And all the other times after this.” 

He fucks Mingyu the way he remembers he likes, the way that never left his mind – slow and deep, hands roaming over every part of skin he can reach, leaving trails of goosebumps over his oversensitive skin. He leaves handprints on his waist and the back of his thighs, and Mingyu brands the smooth skin of his back as his nails leave with faint lines in its wake. 

When they fall, it’s together – Mingyu comes untouched, unable to stop the whines that leave him; Wonwoo with his face buried on the crook of this neck, and their joined hands pressed against the mattress in a tight grip. 

He keeps his promise, too. He makes Mingyu feel good again that night, and in the morning that follows. 

When they’re lazing around, trying to gather the courage to shower and go down for their breakfast with everyone else, Mingyu rolls on top of him and wraps his limbs around him like an octopus.

“Am I still banned from proposing the morning after?” He pouts. 

Wonwoo doesn’t dignify him with an answer, but he does slap his ass in reprimand. 

part. v – Mingyu and Wonwoo

Wonwoo presses a kiss to Mingyu’s forehead before carefully pulling away from his still sleeping form. It’s still barely eight in the morning, his phone tells him, but he has a feeling it’ll be a perfect day. 

The sea breeze and summer sunlight sneak inside through the floor to ceiling windows of the apartments, which also give them a gorgeous view of the Jeju landscape. Wonwoo makes a mental note that they have to go all out for Seungkwan and Vernon’s housewarming gift for letting them stay at their Jeju place for their vacation. 

He walks to the kitchen knowing he has their morning time down to an art. He wakes up first and makes Mingyu his overpriced coffee, and Mingyu will soon take note of the missing warmth beside him. He’ll wake up, brush his teeth, then complain about how hungry he is.  

It’s a perfectly them morning, with the added euphoria of not having to work and being able to enjoy their day on the beach. 

He thinks it’s as good a time as it’ll ever be, thinking of the box hidden at the bottom of his camera bag. 

“I’m so proud that you can work a french press now.” Mingyu says in his sleepy voice as he walks into the kitchen, pressing himself to Wonwoo’s back and kissing the back of his neck.

“No more ruining your pedantic coffee.” He turns around in Mingyu’s arms and hands him a steaming mug. “Good morning, baby.”

“Morning,” Mingyu rolls his eyes, but thanks him with a kiss to his cheek anyway. “You like it too.”

“I’m used to it.” Wonwoo deflects. 

“Ah, hyung, I’m so hungry...” Mingyu pouts at him, as if Wonwoo can magically make it go away

“I was thinking, should we head down to the beach already and have a picnic?” Wonwoo asks him, already knowing he’ll say yes. Mingyu perks up immediately in puppy-like excitement. 

“So romantic, wow. Let’s do it.” 

Wonwoo knows Mingyu will complain about it after it happens, but rules are rules and he brought it on himself two years before. He was the one who promised he wouldn’t propose in the morning, but they never said anything about Wonwoo being the one to do it. 

part 0 – Mingyu and Wonwoo

Seungkwan finally picks up on the second call. 

“Someone better be dying,” he says in lieu of a greeting. 

“I’m having a crisis,” Mingyu says in a rush. “Seriously.” 

“Alright, alright, hold on, Hansol is still sleeping –” Mingyu hears what he assumes is Seungkwan annoyedly getting out of bed. “Okay, spill it.” 

“What’s the deal with Jeon Wonwoo?” he asks. 

There’s a silence, and then, in reprimand, “Mingyu, what did you do?” 

“I slept with him,” he answers, knowing he could never hide anything from Seungkwan that he wouldn’t make his life a living hell to find out.

“You slept with –” Seungkwan sighs. “Mingyu, there’s no deal, okay? Sorry he left you in the middle of the night but there’s really no point, he has a past and I won’t be the one to –”

“What?” Mingyu whispers. “No, he didn’t leave. Well, he did, but like… Ten minutes ago?” 

Another silence. “He stayed?” 

“Yeah,” Mingyu sighs, and then pushes through the embarrassment. “He slept over and we exchanged numbers. I made him coffee and he left in my shirt. I mean, he did say he’s not looking for anything serious but…”

“He left in your shirt?” Seungkwan screams over the phone. “What the fuck…” 

“With the promise of being friends!” Mingyu defends Wonwoo, but from what exactly, he doesn’t know. 

Seungkwan sighs on the end of the line. “Mingyu, listen… There’s a lot you don’t know about him, okay? He’s a great guy but don’t get your hopes up. You’re not even sure you’re staying in Seoul and he’s – He had a not so great break-up.” 

“Too late,” he tells him honestly. “My hopes are already up. Kwannie… Not to alarm you or anything but I think I’m going to die if I don’t get him to fall in love with me.” 

Predictably, Seungkwan curses at him. “Listen, we have to talk about this. I mean it. It’s gonna be hard, Mingyu. It could even never happen.” 

Mingyu frowns, even though Seungkwan can’t see it. “I can wait. I’m good at waiting. I just – I know. I know there’s something, or there could be. I just know.” 

He hopes Seungkwan knows he’s dead serious.