Work Text:
i. year one
To Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi, courtesy of Sabé, voice of Her Majesty Queen Amidala, First of Her Name, Democratically-Elected Monarch of Naboo:
On the occasion of the Night of Fireflies in one month’s time, we extend an invitation to the Jedi Knight to join us on Naboo and observe the rites. Should other members of Master Qui-Gon Jinn’s family wish to accompany him, they are also welcome and will be gladly sheltered by Her Majesty.
~
To Sabé, voice of Her Majesty Queen Amidala, First of Her Name, Democratically-Elected Monarch of Naboo:
Your invitation is kind, but I’m afraid that I am at this time unable to leave Coruscant for any significant period of time. Her Majesty’s generosity is very much appreciated.
Regards,
OWK
~
From: N927-9450211 [unknown]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Do you know what the Night of Fireflies actually is? I told Padmé I was going to send an info-packet but she said it would be condescending.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [unknown]
Who is this?
~
From: N927-9450211 [unknown]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Sabé Tsabin, obviously.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I would hesitate to term that ‘obvious,’ but that seems irrelevant moving forwards. No, I was unable to find information regarding the Night of Fireflies in the Jedi Archives. I inferred that it is an anniversary celebration held one year after a funeral from the other information in your invitation.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
It IS the funeral. If you don’t come then Padmé will stand in as Master Jinn’s family, which is fine except she’s the queen so she’ll have to adhere to the monarchical standards of mourning, which is six months in seclusion. I told her that doing so was stupid but she thought it would be rude to bother you with our backwards traditions. However, I’m perfectly willing to bother you because if you come and are recognized as Master Jinn’s family, you are NOT queen AND you’re not of Naboo so you’ll only have to spend six days in seclusion.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Let me confer with the High Council.
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I’ll be there in two weeks. Are there any ceremonial requirements I’ll have to fulfill that have particular items I will need to supply?
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
If you have white robes, it would be good to bring them, but if not we can find something for you to wear. You’re supposed to keep a plant alive for your period in seclusion and then you plant it in the Great Garden afterwards, to show that you’ve made peace with your grief and are releasing both it and yourself back into the regular life cycle. I found it a little more meaningful after my mother died when I secluded myself with her favorite tentacle fern, so if you want to bring something of Master Jinn’s, that would be fine. It’s also fine if you don’t. Padmé told me Jedi don’t have many possessions.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I will bring white robes and a plant. Please inform me of any prohibitions against specific invasive species.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
You have BEEN to Naboo, haven’t you? Nothing is invasive here, the tlickweed just eats it.
~
To the Jedi High Council, courtesy of Sabé, voice of Her Majesty Queen Amidala, First of Her Name, Democratically-Elected Monarch of Naboo:
We thank the High Council for their special dispensation allowing Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi to observe the rites of the Night of Fireflies for Master Qui-Gon Jinn. He conducted himself with great grace and courtesy and made a very fine offering to the Great Garden on behalf of Master Jinn. In the future, should the Jedi Order require a boon of House Naberrie, it will be made available to them.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
What the kriff happened on Naboo? Council room, twenty minutes.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I would appreciate clarification on the matter of a ‘boon’ from House Naberrie. Also a clarification on the provenance of House Naberrie.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
?? PADMÉ, obviously. And a boon is a FAVOR. (Obviously????)
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I think we’re having a breakdown in communication regarding what might constitute clarification.
~
From: N927-0000014 [unknown]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Knight Kenobi, Sabé informed me that you were concerned by the message I had her relay to the Jedi High Council. I apologize if there was any confusion. It was very kind of you to take the time to come and observe our rites, I just wanted to make sure that was conveyed. Sabé told me that you accepted because she made a fuss, which means you were doing me a personal favor, and I just wanted to recognize it. You were an exceptional participant in the rites, you know. Your calligraphy is really good. A lot better than mine, to be honest.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Your Majesty, it was not an imposition. I am grateful that you gave me the opportunity to participate in your rites. It was an unexpected but ultimately gratifying experience. In regards to your calligraphy, I believe I am nearly twice your age. I imagine any errors you perceive will be resolved with time.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
This is my personal comlink, you don’t have to call me by an honorific. I didn’t get you into trouble, did I? It just seemed that your overseeing body ought to know that you did a good job. I overheard Minister Gesset telling one of her little cronies that she was impressed anyone not of Naboo was able to conduct the rites so finely. Just so you understand her standards, I think the last time Minister Gesset was impressed by anyone was when my predecessor managed to add fourteen thousand books to the Tower Library in a single year.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Please don’t worry, there was no trouble. Confusion, yes, but that was swiftly resolved. There is no House Naberrie officially registered as a Lineage of Naboo. I imagine you are the first member?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
My parents are horticulturists, if that’s what you’re asking. Anyone can run, but serving as monarch is an automatic elevation if you’re not already a member of one of the Lineages. It seems a little ridiculous, doesn’t it? I’ll be the first of my house even though I have parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents still living. My sister’s thrilled. (In case it isn’t obvious, I’m being sarcastic. When I was invited to enroll in the Legislative Youth Program, my sister told my parents they should just get me a pet if they wanted me to learn about personal responsibility.)
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I imagine being the first of your House will grant you many opportunities that might not have otherwise been available to you--particularly when it comes to your interest in improving relations between the Gungans and your own people.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Of course. Thank you for this perspective.
ii. year two
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
It has recently come to my attention that my personal manner might be considered shading on condescending. I apologize if I offended you the last time we spoke.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
...you mean a year ago? I had to refresh my communication history to find it. Was it a little condescending? Yes. But I guess I should have expected as much from someone twice my age.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I’m sure you’ll be gratified to know that this time I did not require assistance in identifying sarcasm.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Sabé told me that you were capable of normal interpersonal interaction and maybe it was just because I’m queen. You’re hardly the first person to be uncomfortable talking to me. I guess I ought to apologize, for putting you in a weird spot. I didn’t really understand how the Jedi and the High Council worked. I won’t claim to understand the intricacies of your order, but I think I at least have a better grasp on the big picture politics now. I should have sent you that message about the boon privately.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I’m perplexed at how my fumbling attempt at an apology somehow resulted in soliciting yours.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I spent the last two months in the care of Knight Vos and Padawan Secura and I guess the experience gave me a lot of insight. Or maybe since I’m older I was better able to appreciate it.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Jedi Knight Quinlan Vos?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I’m not sure I ever heard his first name, but presumably yes? Kiffar, with a yellow horizontal clan tattoo across the bridge of his nose? I ran into some trouble and they were in the right place at the right time to get me out of it. I imagine your order must be getting sick of rescuing helpless damsels, but Knight Vos was very patient about the whole thing.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-1001998 [Quinlan Vos]
Were you on Naboo recently?
~
From: C001-1001998 [Quinlan Vos]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Wow, zero pleasantries from the diplomatic corps’ finest? We really must be friends. Yeah, I was on Naboo a few weeks ago. Why?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-1001998 [Quinlan Vos]
Are you on Coruscant? I’ll buy you a drink.
~
From: C001-1001998 [Quinlan Vos]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Damn, Kenobi, sure. Uscru's tonight?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Your Majesty, were you on Tatooine buying the freedom of Shmi Skywalker?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
How--?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I spoke with Quinlan. He shared with me a truly horrifying tale about being manipulated into purchasing a pair of twin dancing girls from a Huttese slaver and somehow he ended up having to also broker the purchase of their mother from a Toydarian junk dealer. A number of details struck me as particularly notable, including the apparently impeccable aim of the two dancers and their cool heads under blaster fire.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
It took me a while to amass enough credits. I told you, my parents are horticulturists.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Your Majesty, I’ve never heard of a more idiotic stunt in my entire life and my padawan is Anakin Skywalker.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Remember that conversation we were having yesterday, about being condescending?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
You’re lucky Quinlan didn’t mention in his mission report that he eventually realized who you were. If the holonet had gotten their hands on this story, your political career would be over.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Maybe? But if I hadn’t done it, Shmi Skywalker would definitely still be enslaved. I think my career is much less important than her life. I can always retire from politics and become a horticulturist, like my parents. Knight Vos actually told me that I could have a promising smuggling career if I refined my piloting skills.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I would strongly recommend against accepting career advice from Quinlan Vos. He is currently the only member of our Order ever put on probation for trying to drown a fellow initiate in a fountain for being ‘too stupid to live.’
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I’m starting to think you don’t know that many sixteen-year-old girls if you think that’s going to make me dislike him.
iii. year three
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Anakin informed me today that he’s still planning on marrying you when he grows up. It unfortunately necessitated our fifth conversation about attachment and the relative prioritization of commitments.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Aw, that’s really cute. Also, you can’t tell him that you told me, I’m sure he’d be really embarrassed. If someone had told the object of my twelve-year-old crush that I wanted to marry them, I probably would have self-immolated on the spot. (Relative prioritization of commitments?)
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Most marriage vows involve the forsaking of all others. Although that’s generally interpreted as codified monogamy, it can also be viewed as direct violation of the vow a Jedi takes to serve all creatures in the galaxy with equal compassion and respect. A Jedi’s responsibility is first and foremost to the Order. I asked him what he would do if the Order needed him to negotiate an important peace treaty on Rigoron IV and his wife also claimed to need him. Anakin replied, “Well, no one in their right mind would ever ask me to negotiate a peace treaty, Master. I would just send you to Rigoron and then I would go help Padmé.”
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I see that his foundational philosophy is still a little shaky. That’s really interesting, that the Jedi basically marry themselves to the Order. Does that mean you aren’t allowed to fall in love?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Of course not. To close oneself off from love is to preclude compassion. Generally it’s advised not to be possessive of that love, though.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I never really thought of marriage as being a way of possessing love. I suppose that makes sense. You mentioned when you were observing the rites that Master Jinn had loved another Jedi Master, didn’t you? I had forgotten until now. You said that they were--was it one and many in the Force?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Undoubtedly. The common funereal phrase is ‘one with the Force’ but I think I was expressing a wish for Master Qui-Gon and Master Tahl to be unified in particular. I don’t fully recall, to be honest. That incense was quite heady; I couldn’t think straight for nearly a week afterwards.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Yeah, that happens to off-worlders. Which isn’t to say that it doesn’t affect us; I think the only way some people get through the whole rite is by being high as a weather droid. My father’s mother died when I was seven and my father observed the full sixty days for her, but he had to do it in seclusion in one of the greenhouses because my mother was worried that too much incense would stunt my and my sister’s neurological development.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Sabé told me that if I had been unable to come, you would have observed six months of seclusion for Master Qui-Gon. Why so long?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
It’s a hold-over from before the monarchy was an elected position. I’m sure you’ve observed that we’re an archaic people with a lot of strange traditions. I think it used to be understood that someone personally mourned by the king or queen was somehow deserving of more pomp and circumstance than an ordinary citizen. It’s stupid but it’s still codified. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to take six months out of my second year in office to mourn Master Jinn.
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
That sounded really horrible. I don’t mean to be disrespectful of your old master or your loss.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
It’s all right, I understood you perfectly well. The Jedi don’t have these sort of rigid mourning periods, so I find them very interesting. I appreciate your answering my questions, which I hope haven’t been rude.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
If you’re ever rude I’ll eat my headdress.
iv. year four
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Congratulations and consolations on the end of your term.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
And on my birthday, too! The best present I could have ever asked for, to be honest with you.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Happy birthday, then. Many returns.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
When’s yours? So I can put it in my calendar and remember to comm you.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Jedi don’t have birthdays, I’m afraid, although I appreciate the inquiry for the spirit in which it was tendered.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
...Obi-Wan what the kark.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
We just don’t celebrate them, that’s all. But we have a very fine New Years’ festival at the Temple every year, with fireworks and cake. It’s almost a communal birthday celebration.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Surely you recognize the difference between an individual person’s birthday and a whole planet’s.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
We celebrate Anakin’s, privately. It’s frowned upon by the Council but I think doing so helped him adjust to some of the other, more stringent requirements of the Order. And of course, Shmi sends him a message every year that I think he finds very meaningful. She mentioned in her most recent that the bakery was doing well, not in the least because it is so clearly patronized by the members of the Legislative Youth Program and they’re all holonet celebrities. I hope you didn’t have to--?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
No, I didn’t need to pull any strings to ensure that growing adolescents with hollow legs patronized a delicious new bakery within walking distance of the LYP complex. Sabé is addicted to the spiced bantha buns, she says they’re just as filling and portable as ration bars without gluing your tongue to the roof of your mouth. Nice subject change, by the way. With that silver tongue you should be a negotiator or something.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Thank you. How are you spending the remainder of your birthday?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To be honest with you, doing something I’m really nervous about. I think I told you at some point that I had a close friend who left the LYP to become an artist? Well, he comm’d me out of the blue a few weeks ago and asked if I would have dinner with him after the transfer of power. We haven’t spoken in six years.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Yes, I remember. Palo, wasn’t it? Why are you nervous? You’re exceptionally gifted at putting people at ease.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Isn’t everybody uncomfortable around their first love?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Ah. Well, at the risk of sounding just a little bit condescending, you were both twelve.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Well, that’s WHY I’m nervous. It’s obvious in retrospect that any interpersonal chemistry between twelve-year-olds could be just as indicative of a platonic relationship as a romantic one. I don’t want to expect one and receive the other--or expect either and have it be terribly awkward when it turns out we don’t have any chemistry at all anymore. I don’t know anything about art. Did I mention he’s an artist?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you nervous, before, other than a few times during the invasion.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Stop making fun of me and offer useful advice! You’re twenty-nine, surely you’ve successfully dated someone before.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Hmm, bold assumption.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
The next time Rabé swoons over your piercing blue eyes and rugged physique I’m going to show her a transcript of this conversation.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
...I beg your pardon?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
All of my handmaidens were obsessed with you back during the invasion and over half of them still are. Eirtaé is getting married next year and she keeps joking that she’s going to put a subclause in her wedding vows that she’s legally allowed to leave her wife if it’s for you. Surely it was obvious? They were really embarrassing when you came back for the Night of Fireflies.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I don’t think I noticed.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
How did you not notice? You smiled at Rabé and she walked into a door frame.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I thought it was the incense.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I rescind my request for romantic advice. I’m going to comm my sister instead. You should go meditate on why you assume that people have to be drugged to be attracted to you.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-1001998 [Quinlan Vos]
Are you on Coruscant? I need a drink.
v. year five
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Have you ever been to Alderaan?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Yes, but it’s been quite a while, I’m afraid. I accompanied Master Qui-Gon to the sector summit second before last. Why do you ask?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Bail’s wife asked me to visit after this session concludes. Politically, it sends a rather unambiguous statement. It’s not one that I’m afraid of making, necessarily, but it strikes me as rather unusual to be invited to make it so quickly. So I wondered if it was a feature of the Core Worlds.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Ah! Astutely observed. Yes, the Alderaanian royal family is well-known for the swiftness with which they establish their personal and professional allegiances. They’ll be true friends to you, though, no matter how rushed the process may seem. An Alderaanian is a friend (or enemy) for life. As for the rest of the Core, I’m afraid they tend to be less consistent.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Have I mentioned lately how much I hate politics?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Yes, senator.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Why don’t you come and say that to my face? Palo’s got some gallery show tonight, I’ll pay you in take-out to sit and listen to me complain about the horrible day I had on the AgReg Committee.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Not tonight, I’m afraid. Anakin and I have received a new assignment and we ship out on the hour. Outer Rim, so communication will prove dicey for a while.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
If I can throw a little tantrum: we’ve technically lived on the same planet for almost a full year and I STILL haven’t managed to see you in person. Why don’t you try to be a little bit less skilled at your job? Maybe then they’ll let you actually stop and breathe.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I protest the implication that this is entirely my fault. Who was it who was nearly assassinated her second week in the Senate and subject to a full security lock-down for three months? I do believe it was not myself.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
It was a faulty protocol droid.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
It was a sliced security droid. Cordé saved your life.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Yes, well, she can join your little club, can’t she?
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Take care of yourself, please. I’m glad Anakin is there to watch your back but I still worry.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Only if you promise to do the same.
vi. year six
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
So, Palo’s a CUNT (I’m sure you will be surprised to hear this). Padmé’s fine, obviously, but maybe don’t, like...ever mention him again.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Obviously?
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
She went with Captain Panaka down to the senate security shooting range and came back four hours later smelling like blaster fire so: yes, obviously, she’s fine NOW. I hope they put up a holoprojection of his lying kriffing face and then shot it a bunch of times.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I’d appreciate a little more information than simply an invective regarding Palo Jemabie’s character.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
He didn’t hit her or anything. If he had we would’ve dismembered his corpse and thrown him down a trash compactor. He’s just a lying little piece of cheating garbage. If Padmé DOES mention him (she won’t) she’ll try to say something about how they grew apart or whatever but the truth is he chased a piece of tail just far enough for Padmé to find out. Well, for Sergeant Typho to find out, have a moral crisis, tell Dormé, and for Dormé to tell Padmé.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I see. Thank you for this clarification.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Are you on Coruscant?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Anakin and I are escorting an AgriCorps relief freighter to Jakku, I’m afraid. We ought to be back by the end of the week, provided we don’t find ourselves in too much trouble. Is everything all right?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Seriously?? You told Obi-Wan???
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I’m fine, I just thought we could get a drink. You know I live in eternal hope that one day we’ll both be present on the same planet with enough free time in our schedules to see each other.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
OBVIOUSLY. He’s like your best friend.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
You’re my best friend!! Obviously!! Obi-Wan is very nice but he doesn’t need to hear about my stupid juvenile relationship woes. And it’s not like he’d be able to help, even if he did. He didn’t even notice Rabé walking into a door at the sight of his perfect teeth.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
One must simply trust in the will of the Force, senator.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Padmé, the man began corresponding with a sixteen-year-old girl. VOLUNTARILY. He knew he was signing up for juvenile relationship woes.
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
UGH that made him sound like a creep but you know what I mean. He cares about you! Obviously! Let the man care, Padmé!! It’s clearly what he wants!!!
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I guess I wanted a little bit of commiseration. I left Palo. It was an uncomfortable conversation.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
The end of a relationship can be quite difficult. I hope even if I’m not available, you have other friends to help. You don’t have to discuss any of the details, if you don’t wish to do so, but--you are as well as can be expected, I hope?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
He didn’t hit me, if that’s what you’re asking. He did sort of--spit, in my general direction, but I think that was an accident. We just grew apart. He left the LYP for a reason and I ought to have remembered that. And, frankly, I was hardly the most supportive of partners. All of those terrible gallery openings with the strange sculptures I didn’t understand how to appreciate? They just wore me out. I don’t know why we couldn’t go to museums with actual art in them. Why is everything modern so bizarre?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I’m not the best person to ask, I’m afraid. I am not very fond of most modern art.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Speaking of, have you had a chance to see that exhibit of tapestries from the Tapani dynastic era yet? I dragged Dormé and Cordé to the CMAA last weekend. It’s incredibly fascinating.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
No. Attempts to convince Anakin that it would be a fine educational opportunity were summarily ignored. I’m afraid he’s at an aggressive-enough age that I don’t like leaving him alone in the Temple for long periods of time. I came back from having lunch with Bant a few weeks ago and Anakin had challenged Master Fisto to a duel. That was certainly a fine educational opportunity, but unfortunately one where I had to dunk him in a bacta tank afterwards.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
There were a few from the Mecrosa Order that the curator’s notes said depicted the ‘ancient enemies of the Jedi.’ Maybe that’s dangerous enough to pique his interest?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
...there are Sith artifacts on display at the Coruscant Museum of Art and Antiquities?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Is that what the ancient enemies of the Jedi are?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
The man I killed on Theed was a Sith. Perhaps that term was never shared with you.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Kriff. I’ll write to the curator right away. Is there somebody I should copy on the message? Someone from the Order, I mean?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I’ll send a note to the Chief Librarian. Undoubtedly I am concerned about something that has already been evaluated and found harmless. I don’t mean to trouble you, especially since you already have troubles of your own.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I mean, I demonstrably just handled my own troubles by evicting his sorry butt from my apartment, but. Fair enough. Let me know if I can do anything?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I will. Thank you, Padmé.
vii. year seven
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Shmi sent what I think might be conservatively judged as a metric kriffton of pastries for you and Anakin. She made me promise I’d personally watch her precious son consume her handmade delicacies and remind him that she loves him. There might have been actual tears.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
From Shmi Skywalker? Surely not.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Oh, she was definitely playing me and hard at that, but it was effective. I’ll never be convinced to play sabacc with that woman.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Well, if you can constrain your surprise: Anakin and I are, in fact, in residence at the Temple for the foreseeable future. Anakin is taking a seminar for senior padawans with Master Windu on the beginnings of the seventh lightsaber form. I have been coerced into teaching a course on treaty draftsmanship.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Just say calligraphy.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
A fine hand is but one skill required for the art of treaty negotiation, senator.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
The other one being, what, ability to hold a lightsaber?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Frequently, yes. Anakin’s seminar ends late in the day and he usually is too exhausted to do anything other than shower and sleep afterwards. Will the pastries hold until tomorrow morning?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I certainly hope so, since they spent two days in the cargo hold on our way here. Oh, and I’ve moved, by the way, not that you ever actually made through the door of my old apartment. I’ve taken the penthouse of 750 Republica for this session.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I will endeavour to deliver Anakin as promptly as possible tomorrow morning.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I have to cancel brunch tomorrow, Obi-Wan and Anakin are coming over to get the pastries that Shmi sent.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Yeah, okay, I’ve heard THAT one before, so forgive me if I don’t actually cancel our reservation. If Obi-Wan miraculously manages to show up without being called away on urgent Jedi business, I’ll get Dormé to come instead. But I’m so confident that that’s not going to happen that I’m not even going to send her a message about it.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
They’re actually stationed on Coruscant, he says. He’s teaching a class and Anakin is taking a seminar for something to do with his laser sword. So there.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
If you’re sticking your tongue out at me, you’re jinxing it.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Am not!
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
You’re totally jinxing it. Some planet’s about to blow up and it’s going to be your fault because you jinxed it. You and Obi-Wan are not allowed to be in the same room ever again, it’s officially become cosmic law. I assume because the second you two DO end up in the same room you’ll immediately succumb to the sexual tension and the whole planet will go supernova.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Shut UP.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I will NOT.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
It’s so embarrassing. Please. It’s SO embarrassing.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Why is it embarrassing?? You’re both super hot and you’re no longer, like, an actual child. That ‘twice your age’ line has aged really poorly, especially because last session break you banged the senator from Shili like a synthmesh door and she’s at LEAST forty.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Can we just not ever mention Senator Kaj ever again, in the course of our natural lifespans?
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
But she’s so hot???
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
She was a rebound. She felt sorry for me. She took me to breakfast afterwards and told me, very kindly, that one day I would be able to form a successful pairing with a member of a sentient species and she was sure it would be fulfilling for me, but she personally preferred her sexual partners to have fangs. It was EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING than the extremely stupid crush I somehow still have on Obi-Wan.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Yikes, okay, fair enough. Why didn’t you tell me about the fangs thing??? (SO HOT)
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Because I wanted to die, obviously.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I’m so sorry, but an incident has occurred on Rigel VII and the High Council is sending us out on immediate assignment. I ought to have expected as much. I’ll apologize to Shmi, as this is rather obviously my fault.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Don’t worry about it; Shmi told me that the buns freeze well, so I’ll put some of them in cold storage. Please stay safe! Good luck on Rigel VII.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Brunch is back on. Thanks for not canceling.
viii. year eight
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
You never told me what happened with the exhibit of the Tapani dynastic era tapestries. Did you get a chance to follow up with the Chief Librarian?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I did. May I ask what inspired this inquiry?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I’m at the CMAA right now, it reminded me.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
You’re at the CMAA now? It’s the middle of the night.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
They asked me to preview their new exhibit on the Lake Country painters, as I suppose I’m the most prominent person on Coruscant from Naboo who isn’t the Supreme Chancellor. I know as much about the Lake Country painters as any other product of the Theed public schooling system--which is to say, little--but I felt it might be insulting to suggest they ask someone more qualified.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Last I heard of it, the Chief Librarian was still attempting to determine who donated the tapestries from the Mecrosa Order. The very fact that Master Nu is having difficulty with the task suggests the information might be worth uncovering. Are you not interested in the Lake Country painters?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I’m sure you’ll be surprised to hear that ancient Jedi mysteries are much more fascinating to me than a collection of landscapes. Especially considering that the landscapes are all of places I’ve actually been. The experience of being there in person is incomparable. I doubt even the most skilled painter could convey it.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Remind me one day to show you the gallery at the Temple.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Really?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
It is an indescribable experience. The closest I might get is to say, it is as though you step into the eyes of the painter and look out into the world.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Well, if you do that, I suppose I’ll have to take you to the Lake Country.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I believe I would enjoy that very much.
ix. year nine
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I hope you don’t find it disrespectful of me to say so about someone who was once a member of your order, but Yan Dooku is a bantha’s ass and I think his character would improve tremendously if someone handed him his own once in a while.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
You’d be hard-pressed to find a member of the Order who disagreed with you.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
He did say nice things about you, though.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
You’re not serious, I hope.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
“The rampant corruption in the Galactic Senate is rivaled only by insidious rot of the Jedi Order, left to grow corpulent as it stews in its own hypocrisy. Of the new generation of so-called knights, only Obi-Wan Kenobi possesses the skill and character of a true Jedi, and even he has been shackled by conventional interpretation of the Jedi Code.” Then there was something borderline crude about the Senate’s relationship with the Order that I will not repeat, after which he stormed off of the floor of the Senate, that cape of his swirling dramatically around him. I did second his comment that you were a fine Jedi, though, so hopefully I stymied anyone’s bad opinion of you before it had a chance to grow.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
You really can't be serious.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
The Senate floor is becoming more and more of a farce these days. One has to play one’s part to get anything done and it’s all so tiring. And anyway, of course I stood up for you! You’re my friend and you ARE a fine Jedi. Not that I consider myself an expert on the Jedi, but you’re certainly a fine man. I’m surprised the Supreme Chancellor didn’t speak up himself, I know that he considers himself Anakin’s sponsor.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
The Supreme Chancellor and I do not often agree on matters of Anakin’s education, so I’m not entirely sure he has a positive opinion of me. I’m afraid I had to curtail Anakin’s private meetings with him a few years ago.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Private meetings?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Yes.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Did he insist on that? It’s illegal on Naboo.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
It is not on Coruscant. And I know it’s illegal on Naboo--you mentioned as much, in the middle of that anecdote about your former sponsor in the LYP that you seem to think is humorous instead of deeply disturbing. After hearing that, I put a stop to those meetings.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Obi-Wan, I’m fine.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
As is the case with Anakin but not, unfortunately, my relationship with the Supreme Chancellor.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I didn’t realize he was insisting on meeting with Anakin privately. That really disturbs me.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Yes, well, now you know how I felt about that so-called ‘sponsor’ of yours.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Obi-Wan, the anecdote ends with me stabbing him in the hand with a datapad stylus before he has a chance to grope me. EVERYONE laughs at that story. Everyone!
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I respect that your interpretation allows you to reconcile yourself to those events as they occurred. All I ask is that you extend the same courtesy to me.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Well, when you put it like that, I don’t really have much of a choice, do I? I’m really glad I’ve never been prevailed upon to sit across a negotiating table from you. Or play a hand of sabacc.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I don’t hustle friends.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Quinlan said literally the opposite when we were at Uscru's last month.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
You ought to stop believing things said to you by disreputable knights in dark bars, Padmé.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Well, I don’t have much choice, do I? Only the disreputable ones seem to have time to meet me.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I am sorry, you know.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi
It’s all right. I know. It’s hardly all on you, is it? My schedule is just as bad.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-1001998 [Quinlan Vos]
What in Sith’s hell convinced you that taking Padmé to Uscru's was a good idea, you idiot?
x. year ten
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I heard there was an explosion at the Senate landing dock. Are you all right?
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Please confirm you’re all right.
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Padmé, please confirm.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I haven’t been able to get confirmation from Padmé that her cruiser landed safely. Have you heard anything from her?
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
No. Panaka didn’t radio to confirm successful landing. I’ve tried to get into the Senate but they’ve restricted security, ETA unknown. You’re a Jedi, though, so maybe you can get through.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
They wouldn’t let me through after the assassination attempt her first year.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Yeah, but between the two of us you’re the one with a KRIFFING LASER SWORD.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Council room, twenty minutes. Bring Skywalker.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
Is this about the explosion at the Senate landing dock?
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
What part of ‘council room, twenty minutes’ was unintelligible?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
I’ve been unsuccessful in attempting to reach a contact at the Senate.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
There are five confirmed dead and it’s a kriffing mess. I’m sorry about your friend, but I need you to be on top of this right now. Skywalker’s sure as hell not going to be professional and we have to be careful with the Senate these days.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
Of course. My apologies. Anakin and I will be there at once.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Any word?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
It was her shuttle. They haven’t identified all of the bodies yet.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
KARK. One of us?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Just one. Not sure yet who.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Right. Of course. My genius idea to have Padmé and the doubles all travel in the same clothes.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
It was genius. You know that.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Please just shut the kriff up until you know she’s okay.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I’m okay.
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
It’s Padmé, sorry, I had to borrow Obi-Wan’s comlink because mine is gone.
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Cordé’s dead. They thought she was me.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Thank kriffing kriff. Thank KRIFFING KRIFF. I’m at your apartment starting lockdown procedures. Bring your stupid Jedi and his useless kriffing laser sword. We’ll light a stick of incense for Cordé when you’re here, okay?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I will return her shortly. There are some security measures that will need to be overseen before she can leave the Senate. I sent my padawan directly from the Temple to 750 Republica to assist in securing her apartment.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Your what?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Anakin. I’ve sent Anakin.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Full offense, is he old enough to be taking lead on security?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
You were a bodyguard at fourteen. He’s nearly twenty and is technically the Chosen One. He’ll do fine, obviously.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Oh, well if he’s the CHOSEN ONE, OBVIOUSLY
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
Senator Amidala is secure. Anakin is overseeing security preparations at her apartment and I’ve begun investigative proceedings at the landing dock. Five dead confirmed as handmaiden Cordyn Segura, codename Cordé, and four members of the Royal Naboo Security Forces.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Thanks for the update. How does the senator seem?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
Pissed off.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Hopefully not at us.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
She nearly died, Mace. Is now really the time to be worrying about our political standing in the Senate? Standing we ought not to even have?
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Kenobi, have you been drinking Skywalker’s stupid juice?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
Of course, you’re right. My apologies.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0055052 [Depa Billaba]
Which senator seconded Dooku’s unintentional motion to name Kenobi Best Jedi last year?
~
From: C001-0055052 [Depa Billaba]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
I don’t recall, I’d have to look it up. One of the ones from Naboo, I think? Not the Gungan, the quote’s too pithy.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0055052 [Depa Billaba]
Kenobi, you kriffing idiot.
~
From: C001-0055052 [Depa Billaba]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
I’m just going to assume that I don’t want to know.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
How’s your contact? The one you couldn’t reach?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
She’s fine. Her comlink was damaged.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Great. Listen, Kenobi, just get the senator home and make sure she’s secure. Then you can meditate, or dunk your head under a cold sonic, or whatever you need. Just get it together, okay? You’re the only thing keeping Skywalker from going nuclear most days. If you both go, we’re all kriffed.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.
~
From: C001-0048023 [Mace Windu]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Yeah, that’s why I’m worried. Get some sleep.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Are you sure you’re all right? I can stay.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Are you sending this FROM THE HALLWAY? Go home!
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I’m the TURBOLIFT, obviously. I just refuse to believe that that infant will be able to handle your security.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Who, Anakin? His job is just to listen to Obi-Wan. I know he seemed a little hapless but I’m sure it was just from the initial embarrassment. Why did you let him think that you were me for so long??
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Uhhhhh because it was hilarious.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I trust them. I think they’re absurd overkill but I trust them.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Who wouldn’t trust Knight Kenobi to guard their body? UNF. I know he’s a Jedi so it’s unlikely but please tell me he was so overcome at his first sight of you in ten years that he AT THE VERY LEAST took you into his arms. Tender embrace, hard biceps. Paaahdmay. In that exact accent.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
What are you doing in that turbolift, writing a holodrama? Of course not. He said, “Although it is, as always, a pleasure to see you, senator, perhaps next time we might contrive a situation involving less explosives?” and then put his hands in the sleeves of his robe and bowed to me.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Hmm. Suspicious. Why hands in sleeves? To hide that they were, perhaps, TREMBLING??
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
I think it must be a Jedi affectation.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
You are such an idiot. No wonder Senator Kaj despaired of you.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Please, just leave me to suffer in peace.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
It’s the beard, right?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Death would have been kinder.
xi. year eleven
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
The Night of Fireflies is being held for Cordé next week. Her mother is observing the full year of seclusion but other observants are welcome to the rites of the first and last days. I thought I would leave tomorrow, after the closing arguments for the defense. Provided Count Dooku is able to shut up long enough for his advocate to close arguments, of course. Have I mentioned lately how glad I am that Master Windu just beheaded the Supreme Chancellor and spared us having to have a second one of these things? Because I am, even if that makes me a horrible person.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I wouldn’t want to intrude.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
It wouldn’t be an intrusion. You would be a welcome presence.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I’m not sure if that’s true.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Obi-Wan, please come observe the Night of Fireflies to honor Cordé. Please come with me, specifically. I promise that I will not in any way importune your person or compromise your morals or even offer to compromise your morals. We’re still friends, aren’t we?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Of course we’re friends. I would never suggest that you would importune my person?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
“I promise not to attack you like a feral tooka-cat in heat the way I did on Geonosis,” seemed both unhelpfully specific and embarrassing.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
No one is calling you a tooka-cat. Anakin didn’t call you a tooka-cat, did he? He might not be my padawan anymore but I can still enact a few more creative punishments that would make him dearly regret it.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I was perfectly able to make the comparison on my own. Can we stop talking about the stupid decisions of my past self? Let’s talk about the decisions of the future, like whether or not you’re going to come to Naboo.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Thank you for the invitation. I am pleased to accept.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Wonderful! Anakin is coming, too. I’m not sure if he’s mentioned it to you. Is he still trying to pretend that he’s seeing Sabé in secret? I can’t tell. She’s so utterly shameless that any attempts at secrecy are doomed from the start.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
He might well be. I haven’t asked.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Well. We can just pretend not to notice them bunking together.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
That seems acceptable.
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Padmé, I know it’s been a long time since we last had to revisit this topic, but I hope you didn’t think that what I said on Geonosis was another act of condescension on my part. It really wasn’t the right time.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
Good news: Obi-Wan has agreed to attend the Night of Fireflies for Cordé. Bad news: he’s giving me the It’s Not You, It’s That I’m A Jedi, And Also It’s Kind of You. Over COMLINK.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I understand.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
YIKES. Call me once he’s done and we’ll scream into the void together about it, okay?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
There were a number of mitigating factors. For one, we were by all appearances being plunged into the first skirmish of an impending galactic civil war.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Yes. I understand.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
The Military Creation Act would have made Jedi Knights into generals. We would have been sent to the front immediately and everything after that would have made this last decade of late night communication relays and hapless near-reunions appear rather charming in retrospect. It likely would have been years before I returned to Coruscant and saw you again.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I know.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Padmé, I think it’s rather obvious that you don’t. I’m trying to tell you that if we had started what we had in Geonosis, I don’t believe I would have been able to leave you.
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I suppose I am being a little disingenuous. I know I wouldn’t have.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I don’t understand.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Padmé, your advances were most assuredly welcome. I’m sorry that I allowed fear to cloud my judgement. I hope you might find it in yourself to forgive me for my dishonesty and the damage I dealt our friendship. It has been a great comfort to me in the last ten years.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Wow, is he still at it? Trust Kenobi to dump you pre-relationship in the wordiest way possible.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
What happened to no attachment?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Not having you did not make me fear it any less. In some ways it was worse. I have woken up many nights in the last year, frantic with the need to know that you are well, and been unable to answer the question to my own satisfaction.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
I can’t be the reason why you leave the Jedi. I know how much you love it. I know how important it is to you to do this work.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Yes. I know.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Is there a middle ground?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
I believe we are capable of finding one. If you can forgive me?
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
False alarm. False?? Alarm???? I think I’m having a heart attack. Don’t call me tonight, I think I’m about to have company.
~
From: N927-9450211 [Sabé Tsabin]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
KRIFFING HELL, NABERRIE!! GET IT!!!
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Yes. I love you. You’re an idiot.
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Please come over. You’re still keyed into the security system.
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
That’s a breach in protocol. I ought to have been removed after six weeks of inactivity.
~
From: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
To: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
It’s my fault, I wouldn’t let Captain Panaka remove you. PLEASE come over. You are on Coruscant, aren’t you?
~
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Yes, I’m on my way.
From: C001-0872940 [Obi-Wan Kenobi]
To: N927-0000014 [Padmé Naberrie]
Padmé. I love you. Please don't doubt it ever again.