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“Let’s go play!”
Junmyeon gazes out the window and frowns. “But it’s raining,” he whines.
“So?”
“Our moms will get mad,” he replies with a pout.
“It’s funny how you keep making up excuses but you’re not saying no.”
Junmyeon thinks there’s something innately wrong with the way Yixing is wiggling his eyebrows at him, though his young mind couldn’t quite place why it didn’t look right.
“Are you chicken?”
“Am not!”
“I’ll race you outside!”
Despite his better judgment, Junmyeon chases after Yixing, running under the shower and jumping into mud puddles. Their laughter creates a symphony with the sound of the rain overhead, a beautiful soundtrack to highlight their childish whims. It’s several minutes of pure glee until their mothers finally figure out that the noise they were making is coming from outside Yixing’s house. And Junmyeon was right about them being mad, earning a scolding for him and his best friend.
Despite his hooded eyes that make him look perpetually tired and pale skin that often raise questions on his health, Yixing fends off a cold. Junmyeon isn’t so lucky, staying at home to nurse a fever for several days.
It rains again on the fourth day of his house arrest. Junmyeon, bundled up in a down blanket, lounges on the couch while his mother bathes. His eyes flit to the clock over the TV, noting that Yixing should be coming home from school by now. Junmyeon hopes he remembered to bring an umbrella.
The knock on their door pulls him from his thoughts, wondering if his mother was expecting a guest. He reluctantly gets up, fists keeping the blanket around him as he checks to see who it was. Junmyeon pulls curtain back, gasping when he’s met with Yixing’s face pressed up to the window. It takes only a split second for him to notice that the other is soaking, hair sticking to his forehead and clothes looking like a second skin.
Junmyeon rushes to open the door, emerging from his warm cocoon to usher a grinning Yixing in.
“I forgot my umbrella,” he says with a shrug. “Do you think I can borrow your uniform and pass it off as mine?”
“Zhang Yixing! Who told you to walk home in this weather?”
The two boys cringe at the exclamation Junmyeon’s mother makes. Yixing has enough sense in him to look sheepish as she tells him to go upstairs to take a warm shower, offering Junmyeon’s clothes to change into once he’s done.
It’s a long while before the rain stops, the air growing cold from outside his blanket. But Junmyeon is warm with Yixing tucked against his side.
*****
Junmyeon clutches his backpack against his chest in a desperate attempt to keep warm. It’s useless, of course, given how he ran through a downpour all the way from school to his bus stop. While the combination of cold air and wet skin sends shivers to his core, he can only be so glad that the rain made it easy to hide what was really going on. He just hopes the bus comes soon to buy him more time.
“Ya, Kim Junmyeon!”
He tenses as he hears the thunder of feet against the pavement, keeping his head bowed as the sound stops when purple sneakers appear in his line of sight. He doesn’t dare look up as Yixing heaves deep breaths. The defeated sigh that comes after makes Junmyeon want to cry again.
The bus arrives in the nick of time, giving him a few fleeting moments before Yixing can tell him off. They spend the ride in silence. Junmyeon looks outside the window to avoid his best friend’s piercing gaze, only to curse to himself when the glass shows Yixing’s reflection. Junmyeon does his best to ignore it, keeping his mind blank to keep his tears at bay.
He stiffens when he feels the jacket wrapping around him. Yixing tucks him in as best he could with Junmyeon’s arms still crossed over his backpack and chest. It’s warm from having Yixing’s heat seep into it. And he cries.
Yixing doesn’t ask what’s wrong, choosing to pull him closer and let him lay his head on his shoulder. Yixing doesn’t talk at all even as they get off the bus and walk the last few minutes home, only holding an umbrella silently over their heads. Junmyeon wants to joke that it’s a rare feat, but he bites on his tongue lest he breaks into sobs.
They’re only a few feet from the corner where they need to part ways when Yixing stops, his hand on Junmyeon’s bicep preventing him from walking away.
“Whatever it is you thought happened, forget it.”
Junmyeon still refuses to look him in the eye. He knows what he saw and heard, and he’s resolving himself to the truth it brings, even if he sheds a river of tears while doing it.
Junmyeon startles when he feels the rain pelting at his head, eyes widening when he sees the umbrella fall beside them. It barely registers when Yixing’s hands come up to cup his cheeks, forcing him to finally raise his gaze, only for his eyes to slip shut a split second later.
It’s under the pouring rain where Junmyeon receives his first kiss, the feeling of Yixing’s smile against his lips bringing a warmth unlike any other.
“I rejected her.”
“Why?”
“She’s not you.”
*****
Junmyeon blindly reaches out to the other side of the bed, feeling nothing but cool sheets beneath his fingertips. He raises his head and groggily looks around the room, sees the curtains swaying against the wind and sighs. Reluctantly, he gets up from bed, gathering the blanket to wrap around his naked form as he stumbles his way to the open balcony door. Yixing hears him before he sees him, instinctively extending his arms out to make it easier for Junmyeon to climb onto his lap.
Junmyeon shivers as his bare back hits Yixing’s chest. “How long have you been out here?” he asks, questioning the coolness of his boyfriend’s skin.
“Not that long.”
He doubts the reply, but chooses to burrow against Yixing rather than call him out on it, hoping to share his body heat to warm him up.
“It smells like rain.”
Junmyeon snorts at the remark. “Trust that it will on the one vacation we decide to go to the beach.”
A low chuckle rumbles from Yixing’s chest, the vibrations sending shivers up Junmyeon’s spine. “The rain’s our thing. Don’t mock it.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one who gets sick every time we get caught in it.”
“It’s not that bad, right? I take care of you anyway.”
“Can’t we have a thing that’s warmer?” Junmyeon whines.
“Hugs are warm,” Yixing retorts, accenting his reply with the tightening of his embrace. “Kisses are warm,” he continues, lips pressing lightly against Junmyeon’s neck. “Making love to you is warm.”
No matter how hard the rain fell or how loud the thunder grew, it’s not enough to drown out the sound Junmyeon makes when Yixing gives him release.
*****
Junmyeon busies himself with dinner preparations, flitting around the kitchen to check how everything was going. He’s bone tired after a long day of work, but he’s not leaving tonight’s meal in someone else’s hands. Nothing is close to being done, but his only reprieve comes in the form of a message from Yixing saying how he was going to be late.
Junmyeon doesn’t think twice about it, knowing how unpredictable his boyfriend’s schedule is as an emergency medicine resident. Now is one of the few instances when he’s grateful for the extra time.
It’s another hour before he finally finishes plating everything. With a final nod of his head, he takes off for their bedroom to change his clothes.
Dressed in a simple black suit, Junmyeon takes a deep breath and settles on the couch. He takes a few moments to gather his bearings, fingertips tracing the velvet box in his hands. He only pulls his eyes from it when he receives a text, grinning widely when Yixing says that he was just about to exit the hospital. All he can do now is wait.
Perhaps Junmyeon was more tired than he initially thought, not realizing that he was dozing off while waiting for Yixing’s arrival. He only wakes to roaring thunder and heavy rainfall, and the incessant ringing of his phone.
*****
Junmyeon scoffs the second he steps out of the house. He squints as he looks up, the overcast sky painting the world in dull shades, the smell of rain already swirling in the air. Of all days, it had to be today. He smiles wistfully at the irony. At the same time, he finds it comforting.
He takes several deep breaths while sitting inside the car, trying to find the will to put the key into the ignition. He manages to do so after several minutes, his shaky hands making him miss twice. With one final sigh, he takes off, focusing on the road that will take him to Yixing.
Everyone welcomes him with a smile, each person drawing from the last bit of comfort they can offer. Junmyeon does his best to return them, if only to show how grateful he is for all their efforts today and for the last 5 years.
“Take all the time you need. Call us when you’re ready.”
Junmyeon hears the words. He thinks it’s Joohyun, though he can’t really be sure. All his focus is on the unmoving form on the bed.
He pulls the seat as close as possible, takes a hand between both of his, and presses his lips against it.
“It looks like it’s about to rain,” Junmyeon starts, a dark chuckle bubbling up from his throat. “I bet you love that.”
He sits in silence for minutes, hours. He pieces together memories that compose most of his life. He focuses on the ones filled with innocence, happiness, and contentment, pushing the more hurtful of recollections to the back of his head. None were more painful than the reason they’re here right now.
Junmyeon’s gaze travels around the room, taking in every bit of the environment. The forget-me-nots in the corner are beginning to wilt, though no one’s in a rush to replace them. That bouquet will be the last he ever has to bring here. The picture frames of their families he’ll have to pack up soon. He’ll have to figure out where to put them in his small home. He takes in a shaky breath when his eyes fall on the letters of well wishes. They only serve as a painful reminder of what he’s been through, but he doesn’t have the heart to just throw them away. Then there are the machines, of which every hum and beep he can hear even in his sleep.
But that ends today.
“I waited for 5 years for you to come back to me,” Junmyeon says, lips quivering as he holds back tears. “I waited even when everyone said it’s a lost cause. I’m sorry if I kept you away from finding peace. I just wanted to keep you with me for as long as I can.”
Junmyeon breaks out into sobs as memories of that night came flooding back. With thunder and lightning rolling overhead, he answered a phone call that changed his life.
On the night he planned to propose to Yixing, the love of his life met a horrific car accident that left him in a coma due massive head trauma. Despite doctors telling him there was little chance of Yixing waking up, he held onto hope until he ran out of it.
A soft knock on the door pulls him back. Junmyeon doesn’t even attempt to wipe his tears away when Joohyun stands by him.
“I know I told you to take all the time you need, but visiting hours are almost up. I figure you will want to stay until the very end. It’s now or never.”
Junmyeon doesn’t have the strength to speak, only nodding to give Joohyun the permission she needs to turn off the machines that kept Yixing alive all these years.
With his lover’s last breath, the rain finally falls.