Work Text:
I s it ok to hold hands?
Jimin sat on the bench looking at his best friend holding hands with his new boyfriend.
He remembers the time early in their friendship when Taetae asked him to hold hands. They were watching a movie whivh was probably not appropriate for their age and he was scared but, since their friendship was new, he didn’t want to say anything. Taetae noticed…..made it seem like he was the one who is scared…. ‘‘ Hyung, the movie is a bit scary. Is it ok to hold hands?“ Being as scared as he was, Jimin just took his hand. „No need to be scared, Taehyungie, Hyung is right next to you.“
After that day they always were seen together….holding hands…..it became a second nature for them to hold hands as soon as they walk next to each other.
Then Jeonkook came…
Jimin knew his best friend inside out so he knew after the first meeting of Taehyung and Jeonkook, a boy he dances with at the same studio, that his friend got a crush on the younger boy. At first it wasn't a problem. They hung out with Jeonkook more often but everything else was the same. Then one day came and the youngest of the three asked,“Why are you always holding hands? Are you together?“.
From that moment on they didn't hold hands anymore since Taehyung didn't want the young boy to get a wrong picture of their relationship. The next day Taehyung was holding Jeonkooks hand.
Jimin never told him how much it hurt.
Can I hug you?
Sitting right next to them on the couch was hard for Jimin. Especially since his best friend was holding Jeonkook like he used to hold Jimin.
The first time he and Taetae hugged had been in elementary school before a dance performance of Jimin. Jimin had been dancing for a few years now. Dancing in front of others was nothing new to him but it was the first time that so many people he knew were watching him. So he became scared. He didn't want to embarrasse himself in front of so many people he knew. Taetae didn't seem to sense his fear. He came to visit him backstage right before he had to go on stage and began talking about how great it's going to be and how cute Jimin looked in his dance outfit.“You look so cute! Can I hug you?“ It was that reassuring hug that made the performance one of the best he ever had.
But then Taehyung choose to sit closer to Jeonkook. Trying to sit as close as he could without the other saying anything against it. Jeonkook never said anything…..so with time Jimin was sitting alone and cold while Taehyung and Jeonkook cuddled up next to him.
Jimin never told him how much it hurt..
Do you have time for me?
Jimin 11:32 am -
“Hey, wanna hang out? J “
Read: 11: 40 am
Taehyung 15:54 pm
“sorry, Kookie already asked. x.x“
Read: 15:54 pm
Jimin didn't remember the last time he spent time with his best friend. Taehyung time was always reserved for Jeonkook now.
It wasn't like that before. They spent every free minute together before. Thinking back there was a time in middle school when Jimin didn't have a lot of free time because of his dance lessons so he didn't see Taetae for almost a week and he was ready to break down under the pressure of expectations and not seeing his best friend. That day, it was close to midnight in the middle of the week, Taetae leaned against the wall of his studio outside in the cold. He waited for Jimin. Taetae looked at him with his typical grin.“Do you have time for me?“. Jimin felt himself grinning back at his best friend, put an arm around his shoulder and dragging him home with him. They laughed and talked all the way back where they ended up having a sleepover and waking up way too late in the morning but they just laughed about it. They always had time for the other and, even if they didn't, they still made time for the other.
But not anymore.
Now Taehyung wanted to have time alone with Jeonkook. Now he didn't push everything to the back of his mind to spend time with Jimin. No…now it was Jimin who was beeing pushed to the back of Taehyungs mind so he could spend time with Jeonkook.
Jimin never told him how much it hurt…
I need you right now….
Jimin tried over and over again to reach his best friend. Had tried calling, texting, everything but Jimin couldn't reach him. He understood it. He really did. It was the day that marked that they have been together for a year. But right now Jimin really needed his best friend.
Jimin always had struggles, just like Taetae did. It wasn't uncommon for him to sit in front of the mirror at night screaming and crying at the imperfect reflection. The face looking ugly and deformed, his body looking huge with fat dripping off him everywhere. He was slowly but surely hitting the buttom of a place he couldn't get out of anymore. So he did, what he thought would be the best. He called Taetae for help. „T-Taetae?*sniff* I really….I need you right now…“.And he did help Jimin like he himself helped Taetae. They swore to never let the other surrender to their demons.
But that's different now. Now Taehyung has someone else to pick up his pieces after he broke down again under the pressure of his father’s expectations. He didn't need Jimin anymore.
The only person he ever needed, didn't need him anymore.
Jimins mother had died that night.
He tried to reach Taehyung over and over again.
The next night his father took his life. He didn't want to live in a world without his wife.
It made Jimin think…..
He tried to reach his best friend again. He got an answer.
„Jimin, please stop calling. I'm really busy right now. I’ll call you back as soon as I have time for you.“
Again Jimin never told him how much it hurt….
But still….Jimin waited for his call. Holding onto it like it was his lifeline. The last piece keeping him alive.
Which it was….
He looked at the piece of metal in his hands.
..like he wasn't going to tell him anything else anymore.....
Because Taehyung didn't call back.
His lifeline ripped
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Don't kill me please. I don't know why Jimin always has to suffer in my fics ^^"