Chapter Text
If you were to pull anyone off the street, chances are they don't have musical talent, but they certainly know what a Stradivarius is. Everyone (at least in the Western world) knows what a Stradivarius is. They're flippin' legendary, equal to the Ferraris of the violin world.
Except, they're not.
The frequency that I see fanfic writers give Sherlock a Stradivarius violin has become alarming. Alarming because I fear that it largely comes from:
- A lack of experience in the musical world (which is excusable, because not everyone has a musical inclination. Look at John Watson, for example, and even Sherlock likes him)
OR
- A lack of research (which, in this day and age, is inexcusable.)
[Some of you well-read folks may argue that Doyle canonically gave Sherlock a Stradivarius violin in The Adventure of the Cardboard Box. That's great and all, but I'll explain in a bit why that wouldn't work in modern times.]
SO LEMME TELL Y'ALL SOMETHING ABOUT MOTHER-FLUFFIN STRADIVARIUS VIOLINS.
Here's some quick and dirty facts:
- Stradivarius instruments were made in the 17th and early 18th century by an Italian craftsman named Antonio Stradivari
- Stradivari made violins, cellos, harps, guitars, and violas.
- Out of the 1,100 instruments Stradivari made in his lifetime, only about 650 of those instruments exist today.
- There are a billion and one theories about why Stradivarius instruments (also called 'Strads') have such a renown sound and quality to them. Scientists try to look at the varnish, the quality of the wood, and the shape of the front and back plates, but no definitive theory has been found. (Source)
- Most Stradivarius 'owners' are in fact organizations or wealthy patrons, who loan them to famous soloists for their performances. (Source)
- Famous violinists who are BORROWING a Stradivarius:
- David Garrett
- Ray Chen
- Janine Jensen
- concertmasters of some of the world's prestigious orchestras (Berlin Philharmonic, Milwaukee Symphonic, etc.) - Famous violinists who do/did NOT own a Stradivarius
- Julia Fischer
- Sarah Chang
- Rachel Barton Pine
- Niccolo Paginini
(Note: that most of these musicians play(ed) del Gesu violins made by another Italian artisan and are considered to be equals to Strads.)
- No two Strads are alike, and each of them have their own name.
- Some Strads that were made during Stradivari's 'golden period' are worth up to $6 million (or almost ￡3.5 million) (Source)
- To give you perspective:
- this model of the Bugatti Veyron (capable of 1,200 horsepower for no good reason other than 'why the hell not?') costs $3 million;
- this piece by Claude Monet is estimated to fetch only $2.5 million in auction;
- this 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom apartment in the Upper West Side overlooking Central Park is just shy of $2.5 million.
- Quite a few Strads have been stolen (and for the most part recovered) throughout the years, the most recent being the Lupinski that was stolen in January of this year and recovered a month later. Joshua Bell's Strad has a long list of 'owners' before it came into his posession.
NOW YOU KNOW. DON'T YOU FEEL THOSE SMARTICLES WORKING AROUND YOUR HEAD? OKAY? OKAY.
Knowing all that schtuff, I'm now going to analyze all the reasons why one would own a Strad (and in turn, why it makes no damn sense for Sherlock (the modern one) to own one*:
[* Except in certain precise circumstances. To be explained.]
1. It's about their monetary value
Strads, as we've already discussed, are worth millions nowadays. Most of them belong to organizations who loan them out for soloists to use, or are sold to incredible prices to musicians able to get significant donor-sponsors. Several Strads have been stolen throughout the years because of their immense value (the fact that you really can't sell a stolen Strad because anyone with any appraiser skill will recognize it instantly hasn't stopped thieves from trying).
I think we all can agree that Sherlock gives less than two shits about money or the monetary value of something. (His assurance to John that he could get a discounted rate for 221B Baker Street in A Study in Pink was just that: an assurance for John, because John does worry about money.)
Some lucky violinists got theirs for just under a million because they bought it two decades ago. Could Sherlock have acquired one then? Remember that Sherlock was a child two decades ago. Why would his parents - who dress, act, and live considerably less posh than their adult sons - buy a hundred-thousand-dollar instrument for a child who likely showed:
- much more passion for becoming a scientist than a famous musician
- an unbelievable carelessness towards everything that isn't science?
Mycroft could afford one based on his attire and house (shown twice in A Scandal in Belgravia and once in The Sign of Three). But he wouldn't, because the heritage that's attached to a Strad would hold no interest to Sherlock, getting into my second point...
2. It's about their cultural value
The world of classical music is weird. While the rest of the world aggressively pursues the latest and greatest thing, classical music worships the past. While high-tech products can lose half their value in three years time, a composer's work often becomes more famous and more prestigious with age, like a fine wine. While Internet start-ups can come and go within months, an orchestra's make-up may not change for years and years. Professional musicians don't go into the field for the money. And so when it comes to a Strad, the price that it could fetch in an auction is the last thing on a musician's mind.
(Except, of course, when they're the ones buying the Strad from an auction.)
Why is a Strad considered so great? As stated in the quick and dirty facts, there are a billion and one reasons, but none of them really explain why famous musicians, given a choice, will always choose a Strad over a newer instrument of equal quality. That's because it's not about the numbers (or dollar signs). It's the history behind the Strad that attracts musicians and non-musicians to them. Strads are not simple luxuries; they're international treasures. And to be considered worthy of a Strad (just playing one, not even owning) is the greatest unofficial honor one could ever be bestowed in the world of classical music. You join the ranks of the world's greatest string musicians of all time. In a world where the past is revered, to be considered worthy of its heritage is an absolute privilege.
Furthermore, because of a Stradivarius' value, every time one changes hands (buying or borrowing or stealing), it makes the news. The ownership of Strads is publicly documented (Source) because they're so rare and treasured. Sherlock has no interest in being in the news, especially for something that has nothing to do with his intellect. (Imagine the tantrum he'd throw if his violin got more attention than him. XD.)
In all seriousness though, owning a Strad would mean that he is hounded by Mycroft for his care of it, hounded by the media for his possession of it, and hounded by collectors and famous musicians and auction houses all the time.
And for what? The chance to own a piece of revered history? Sherlock gives no fucks about tradition, heritage, or any of that rubbish. He values things based on their utility, not for any arbitrary value or cultural or monetary worth. So while he may respect things that are immensely expensive (for example. the skulls and the clay pots in the museum in The Blind Banker), he most likely would see no reason in owning something so expensive unless it was of value to him.
He treats his violin differently from how a musician treats a Strad, which leads to my final point.
3. It's about their nature/purpose
The quality (read: price) of your instrument increases in proportion to your seriousness as a musician. You get a new violin as your purpose in playing one changes. A student violin is generally cheap and is for learning how to play. A professional violin is more expensive and for playing and performing the violin in a serious arena. When a musician stops being professional and starts treating it like a hobby, they play the violin for their own sake. The violin and the performance are less important.
On the other hand, one does not simply play a Stradivarius violin just because one has the funds or inclination for it. A Strad is not like a Ferrari. Anyone can (learn to) drive, and anyone who can drive can enjoy a nice car, and anyone with the funds can shell out money for a pretty thing that will sit in their garage for most of the year and on occasion be taken out and enjoyed. Any rich git can own a Ferrari. But no one just owns a Stradivarius for the sake of owning a Stradivarius.
A Strad is like a Hattori Hanzo sword (for you Kill Bill fans), or a Firebolt, or a Gondolin-crafted blade. It's in limited supply, considered to be of legendary craft, and above all, meant to be used. Admired and used with extreme care, but used. You can't just buy one; you have to be worthy of it. And only a violinist of immense skill and talent will consider himself or herself worthy of playing a Strad. Not be considered by others, but consider himself or herself worthy. Yeah, classical musicians have complexes. We know.
To own a Strad means that you are a celebrity, both in the classical world and the commercial world. It means you, despite being a musician, can get serious money (from commanding high performance fees and/or getting considerable sponsorship). It means you are not just worthy of the history of a Stradivarius violin, but have also become a part of it.
You play a Stradivarius violin to play a Stradivarius violin.
Sherlock, however, doesn't play the violin to play the violin. He plays for himself, to help him think, to express his feelings (if you read into it his playing for John), and occasionally to entertain others. He doesn't play to play the violin, to practice his skills or to perform. He doesn't even play for music's sake sometimes.
So what purpose would having a Strad hold to him? Honestly? Why would a Strad be better than any other violin of stellar craftsmanship but less renown? This is Sherlock we're talking about, Mr. Pure-Rationality and Anti-Sentimentality.
What does Sherlock value? Logic and utility. So long as something fulfills its purpose to him - no matter what price or cultural or monetary value it has - it's good enough for Sherlock. Thus: expensive coat (his armor and identity), crap fridge (eating is boring), extensive book collection (Sherlock worships the pursuit of knowledge), poorly-kept flat (it's in a convenient location for his work. Plus, free housekeeper). (Poor Mrs. Hudson).
He doesn't need a Strad to fulfill what he needs a violin to do. In fact, it's even less likely that he'd choose a Strad if given the choice. In several blind tests, contemporary violins (of still considerable value) outperform the Italian masterpieces. Sherlock, that devotee to the cold hard truth, would recognize this immediately and shun the Strad in a heartbeat.
Overall, having a Strad is more trouble than it's worth for a modern-day Sherlock.
[*The precise circumstances that Sherlock might fall into possession of a Strad is if he somehow stumbles upon one that was stolen some time ago. That's very plausible; Strads are often victims of theft, but thieves really can't sell one because any appraiser would recognize it immediately. Sherlock could keep it secretly for himself and never tell the media or anyone, not even Molly or John (who wouldn't notice or wouldn't care). That could work...except for the fact that Mycroft would recognize it immediately and hound him incessantly until he gives it up. Irene and Moriarty would also recognize it, because, you know, they have eyes, brains, cultural knowledge, and a reason to be examining Sherlock's stuff.]
GETTING TO THE CANON.
In "The Adventure of the Cardboard Box," this excerpt canonically identifies Sherlock's violin as a Stradivarius:
We had a pleasant little meal together, during which Holmes would talk about nothing but violins, narrating with great exultation how he had purchased his own Stradivarius, which was worth at least five hundred guineas, at a Jew broker's in Tottenham Court Road for fifty-five shillings. This led him to Paganini, and we sat for an hour over a bottle of claret while he told me anecdote after anecdote of that extraordinary man...
"SEE, SEE, CRAZY PERSON?" you may say to me. "THE STRAD IS CANON. I'M RIGHT, YOU'RE DRINKING CRAZY JUICE, HAHAHA, SUCK IT."
*Takes a sip from mango-flavored crazy juice*. Yeah, that's possible. What's also probable is that Doyle was a doctor, not a musician, and wrote his stories about what he knew. He also did not have Google, which you blessed folk do.
500 guineas (pounds) in 1888 (when this story was set) has the same buying power as $63,000 (over ￡37,000) today (Source). It's true that Stradivarius violin values have skyrocketed even in the past decade, easily exceeding the pace of inflation. However, unless that Jewish broker was illiterate or blind, there's no way he could have missed the giant signature that Antonio Stradivari left on all his damn violins.
Yes, fakes and tributes were made of Stradivari violins throughout the 18th and 19th century, and yes, it takes an expert to know the difference between a true Stradivarius and a well-done fake. HOWEVER, 55 shillings (or 2.75 pounds) is $234 in today's money. MY FIRST FULL-SIZE VIOLIN COST MORE THAN THIS, AND IT CERTAINLY DID NOT HAVE THE NAME 'STRADIVARI' WRITTEN ANYWHERE (FAKE OR NOT).
NONETHELESS, assuming that for whatever reason this Jewish broker is completely blind, half-witted, or ignorant of classical music history (perhaps due to the author's casual bigotry) I'll give Doyle credit for making Sherlock's possession of one of the Western world's most treasured artifacts seem vaguely plausible. Most fanfic writers don't even try to do this. It's usually just 'blah blah blah Sherlock has a Strad blah blah blah no big deal blah blah.'
NO.
DO NOT.
STRADS ARE A BIG-ASS DEAL. A MUCH BIGGER DEAL THAN SHERLOCK'S VIOLIN IS TO SHERLOCK.
DO NOT MAKE SHERLOCK'S VIOLIN A MOTHER-FIZZUCKING STRADIVARIUS JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BE ARSED TO LOOK UP ANOTHER TYPE OF VIOLIN.
DO. NOT.
THAT IS ALL I ASK.