teandfailure
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Recent works
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i had never known my name until you spoke it from your chest by teandfailure
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
27 Apr 2026
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Summary
Ilya doesn’t look surprised to see him. “What do you want, Hollander?”
He’s shirtless, sweatpants barely hanging on to his hips. Looking at his body makes Shane ache.
“Just- put me under, please,” Shane says, pleading. “It's the only thing that makes my brain shut up. Hold me down and fuck me and then maybe I can finally fucking sleep tonight.”
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Summary
It’s just that Ed doesn’t get a lot of privacy these days, okay?
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take the sadness out of saturday night by teandfailure
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
13 Apr 2022
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Summary
“I’m a goddamn gentleman, okay? I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about," Ed says.
Roy huffs, and everything feels easier, like heaving that sigh has kicked the planet back onto its correct axis. “Wonder where you learned that from,” he says, voice dry.
Ed snorts. “You can keep telling yourself that if you want,” he replies, but the blow is softened by the grin on his face. “You’re lucky that I didn’t learn romance at the Roy Mustang school of overpriced dinners and underwhelming missionary. None of that shit would’ve worked on you anyway.”
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a brick-boot swimming lesson by teandfailure
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
27 Oct 2021
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Summary
“Ed, I- I just need to make sure that you’re sure, like really sure, absolutely undoubtedly sure, because once I start touching you, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”
Ed looks at him like he’s just said something exceptionally stupid, and perhaps Al should have figured that he’d be quicker to snap than usual, revving from casual to enraged at the drop of a hat. “I’m pretty fucking sure,” he says. “You want me to beg or what?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Al says easily, and savors the way it makes Ed squirm. “Is that even a question? I’ve never wanted anything more.”
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i never told you what i do for a living by teandfailure
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
25 Dec 2020
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Summary
it was always crushingly intimate, letting ed feed from him like this.
Recent series
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- Words:
- 29,438
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 37
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ishvalan au by teandfailure
Fandom Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
22 Dec 2016
- Words:
- 1,591
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 41
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- Words:
- 1,160
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 5
Recent bookmarks
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all eyes on me by gurlsrool
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
06 Mar 2026
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Summary
“I don’t care that he’s gay!” Hayden says. Shane turns finally, locking eyes with Hayden, searching for any truth in that statement. Because there’s a difference between knowing theoretically that you share a locker room with a gay guy and seeing him ride a dick like it’s his life’s purpose. “I don’t. You know that. I just…him?”
“Yes,” Shane says softly. “Him.”
Hayden lets out a guttural groan. “Jesus, man. You couldn’t at least top him?”
Or: 6 times Shane and Ilya get walked in on, +1 time they walk in on someone else
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,386
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 687
- Kudos:
- 16,304
- Bookmarks:
- 2,516
- Hits:
- 110,123
Bookmarked by teandfailure
04 Jun 2026
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pistol whipped by ratsplendor
Fandoms: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
02 Oct 2024
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Summary
If one follows the phrase “What your parents don’t know won’t kill them” to its absolute opposite, one arrives at the statement “What your parents know will kill them.”
Ben thinks that might be exactly what happens. This might just kill Sheev “Shiv” Palpatine, CEO of one of the largest defense contractors in the US, whom Ben has his own half-assed grudges towards but—more to the point—just really hates. And it just might kill Ben’s mother, heir to the legacy of a moderately-notorious mob family. Which…okay, no, actually, Ben’s mother might just kill Ben.
...He can worry about that later.
The thing that might kill their respective parents and/or guardians: Ben just married Rey Palpatine, whom he’s been fucking-slash-in sticky disgusting love with for about…six months?
It'll be fine.
Series
- Part 2 of rskt 2024
Bookmarked by teandfailure
14 Apr 2026
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come to me slowly by anincompletelist (soldouthaz)
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
21 Feb 2026
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Summary
He’s never been a full person so much as a set of predetermined, distinct, sanitized things dressed up in athletic wear, jerseys, suits and ties. Borders that he could operate within, could point to inside of his own head with a clear boundary in between: these things are Shane Hollander, these are not. It’s kept him focused. Grounded. They’re facts.
But this, despite its aching, sweet simplicity, doesn’t fit neatly anywhere. He doesn’t know what he wants to do with it, only that he isn’t quite ready to let go of it just yet.
The knock comes two minutes on the hour. Shane thinks of it again.
You look pretty.
He opens the door.
Bookmarked by teandfailure
30 Mar 2026
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put the gun in the holster (lemme give it to you this time) by redvelvetvalentine
Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
26 Mar 2026
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Summary
Roy Mustang and Olivier Mira Armstrong are loathe to agree about anything— except this: tonight, Edward Elric gets it.
Bookmarked by teandfailure
28 Mar 2026
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Summary
Shane & Ilya’s adventures in lingerie. Written chronologically, but each more or less functions as a oneshot.
- Words:
- 32,524
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 230
Bookmarked by teandfailure
26 Mar 2026