sniffling



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    “You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.

    “I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”

    He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.

    When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.

    (the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)

    (or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)

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    12 May 2026

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    “They both want to fuck you. That entire family is trying to fuck you. I think we should call the police. Put restraining order for your hole.”

    “Ilya, are you drunk?”

    “Hollander, this is a serious problem!”

    “Just because he is gay, it doesn’t mean he wants to fuck me.” Shane scoffs. “Maybe he’s a bottom too.”

    “So, that’s your problem? Not that he wants your hole?”

    “Ilya, I swear, if you don’t stop saying that word—”

    “It’s wrong, you know,” Ilya informs seriously. “You fucked Rose Landry. Now Peter Landry is trying to fuck you. All the holes are connecting. This is basically incest.”

    “Didn’t you sleep with those Swedish twins in Cabo?”

    “They were not identical. It does not count!”

    OR: Ilya's life gets plagued by a different Landry this time, AKA an interpretation of the 'let's sleep with other people' fight mentioned in TLG, AKA, an ode to Jealous Ilya.

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    06 May 2026

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    Rather than give him the joint, Ilya takes it back between his own lips and sucks in a deep breath, the tip glowing as he does so. Then, before Shane can process it, he’s reaching up and sliding one large hand around the back of Shane’s neck, pulling him down so their lips meet.

    Shane gasps softly, and Ilya takes the opportunity to blow smoke into his open and waiting mouth.

    Oh, God. Are you there? It’s me, Shane Hollander. We’ve had our differences, but I think I’d like to convert for real this time. I’m ready. Open the pearly white gates. I’m coming up.

    Shane goes to a house party, gets high, then gets on his knees. bon appetite
    now a multi-chapter saga bc i couldn't help myself

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    01 May 2026

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    A series of fics that follow Shane and Ilya over the course of the last year that Ilya is in Boston

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    15 Apr 2026

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    “How much longer?”

    “I don’t know, probably like fifteen minutes?” he can hear Shane shrug through the phone.

    “Hmm. . .” Ilya looks at Shane’s location where he’s watching him inch closer to their house on the map. “Phone says thirteen.”

    “Are you watching my location?” Shane laughs from where he’s talking to Ilya through the screen in his car.

    “Mmm, yes. I’ve been so miserable without my husband. I want you home.” he groans. “Now, preferably.” he adds and Shane huffs a laugh.

    (ie. shane is on the way home from a work trip and talks to ilya the whole way home until they're finally reunited (plus a little glimpse into the future))

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    12 Apr 2026