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this is harrowing, it's embarrassing by pratintraining
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
28 Nov 2023
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"You and Shanks are married?!" Buggy is apoplectic. Honestly, Zoro doesn't feel too far behind him.
"Crocodile was there," Mihawk nods at the large hook-handed man.
Buggy turns betrayed eyes at Crocodile, still smoking casually with Sanji next to him. Crocodile raises his cigar and nods. "Beautiful ceremony," he says sardonically. "Small and intimate."
Buggy takes a deep breath, and then starts screaming.
Bookmarked by puffix
28 Nov 2023
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“I beg your entire pardon?”
“Luffy wants to give you Dressrosa,” Nami says, delicately taking a sip of her own tea, as if what she’d just said wasn’t insane in its entirety. “At least, that’s what he said on the way to Whole Cake Island.”
It starts, as many things do, with Luffy making an innocent observation.
It ends with Law on the phone with the crown princess of Dressrosa.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,077
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 117
- Kudos:
- 2,611
- Bookmarks:
- 775
- Hits:
- 16,383
Bookmarked by puffix
26 Nov 2023
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Sanji wasn't supposed to be an omega. He and his brothers were engineered to be perfect beta soldiers. Imagine his surprise when he hits puberty on the Baratie and goes into heat. His journey, luckily, doesn't change much after that.
Series
- Part 1 of the moorings we make
Bookmarked by puffix
26 Nov 2023
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What Mattered Most to Me (It Was You) by three_days_late for donutsandcoffee
Fandoms: One Piece
30 Jul 2022
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Summary
Zoro crawls his way out of hell for Sanji
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,748
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 35
- Kudos:
- 1,617
- Bookmarks:
- 270
- Hits:
- 11,366
Bookmarked by puffix
23 Nov 2023
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“Um, isn’t it kind of important?” Sanji asks, neck craning as he surveys the deck. “Having a navigator, I mean.”
Nami looks up from cleaning her swords with a pained smile. “Well, yes and no.”
“Um,” he says. “What does that mean?”
“We...sort of have a navigator. I’d love to introduce him, but,” she releases a long, suffering sigh. “He’s currently lost somewhere on the island.”
Sanji blinks. “Our navigator is currently what?”
(Zoro is kind of the worst navigator ever, except when he isn't.)
Bookmarked by puffix
19 Nov 2023
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Maybe there is something to be said that the first time they kiss, they kiss on a sinking ship. As if to say: this too, is inevitable. The waves are gnashing above the sea’s bottomless maw, and the timbers of the sinking galleon groan their own dirge – as far as this space of sea is concerned, the world is ending. Then there they are, balanced on the cusp of it, concerned only with how they exist relative to each other.
There’s an awful devotion to it, and it shouldn’t be romantic. But Sanji is hopeless. He’s always wanted a love like this.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,659
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 503
- Kudos:
- 4,912
- Bookmarks:
- 1,671
- Hits:
- 57,694
Bookmarked by puffix
19 Nov 2023
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Humans can make out patterns out of nothing. Like discovering shapes in the cloud, or images between the stars. If you listen to static noise long enough they start to form meaningful words, even when there isn’t any.
This is the closest approximation to how Ichiji feels things.
It is almost fascinating, then, for him, to watch Sanji, who seems to feel everything with his entire being, so visceral and open and raw.
Bookmarked by puffix
19 Nov 2023
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“Wait-“ First Aid stumbled back. Flashes of black, serrated metal drifted in the fields of his vision. The shards of his faceplate glittered on the ground. Beneath his visor, his optics bloomed a bright, frantic yellow.
“It’s a Sparkeater!” Someone shouted. “Get back!”
Bookmarked by puffix
15 Nov 2023
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Home Improvement Appendix: How They Met by pagination
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Hawkeye (Comics), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
22 Jun 2025
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Summary
“Speaking of American heroes—“ Phil begins.
“I wasn’t,” Marcus says rudely.
Phil ignores him. “It was an honor to be wing man to a real, undeniable American icon,” he says, taking shrimp from the freezer to thaw. “I have his trading card from 1952, when his image was being used by Fairchild against Joe McCarthy’s campaign. A little foxing on the edges, but otherwise in good condition. Current valuation—“
The inchoate sound of rage that Marcus makes is satisfying in the way a good bowel movement is: viciously physical, and spiritually rejuvenating.
Series
- Part 2 of Home Improvement
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,869
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 225
- Kudos:
- 2,684
- Bookmarks:
- 250
- Hits:
- 18,249
Bookmarked by puffix
15 Nov 2023
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Home Improvement by pagination for lil_grl_lost
Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
19 Dec 2014
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Summary
“Did you shoot me?” Phil asks, confused.
“In my own defense, I didn’t notice you standing behind me,” Clint says.
“In my own defense, I was standing behind you.” Phil sits up with a small groan. Clint tries to offer a hand, but gets his arm thumped by the arrow. That’s probably fair. “I’m not up on my archery technique, but doesn’t that mean you’re fantastically bad at this?”
Series
- Part 1 of Home Improvement
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 20,755
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 416
- Kudos:
- 5,430
- Bookmarks:
- 1,466
- Hits:
- 57,086
Bookmarked by puffix
15 Nov 2023
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Summary
The swordsman felt the blood draining from his face, coursing through his veins, and seeping into his coat. He raced to the pod, jabbing at the crack with his sword until it released open on its own.
Zoro didn’t know what would have happened had he never fallen into this room.
Inside, there was a small boy, around the age of four to five. His spiky white hair was uncombed, and although his black wings were fairly small, he was definitely a Seraphim.
What frightened Zoro, though, was that the kid’s face was a mirror of his own, save for the two visible crimson eyes that were now glaring right back at him.
***
Where Zoro suddenly becomes a father to a clone of himself, but a certain cook takes on the role much faster than he would.
They say it takes a whole village to raise a kid, but the Straw Hats are close enough. Incoming shenanigans, angst, and a gremlin child who might be the key to finally bringing these two oblivious idiots together.
Note: Contains spoilers, takes place during the Egghead Island Arc and diverges from there.
Bookmarked by puffix
13 Nov 2023
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Summary
Mihawk sends Zoro a care package.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,366
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 74
- Kudos:
- 2,000
- Bookmarks:
- 291
- Hits:
- 11,580
Bookmarked by puffix
12 Nov 2023
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Summary
Sanji expressing his femininity with the help of Zoro! (And lots of sex LOL)
- Words:
- 12,628
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 127
Bookmarked by puffix
11 Nov 2023
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Summary
Zoro grunts, likely because she hits him with more force than either of them are expecting, and then returns her surprise with one of his own by wrapping his arms around her and hugging her back.
“They hurt you?” He murmurs, and she shakes her head.
“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” She insists, although which of them she’s trying to reassure, she isn’t certain.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,099
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 280
- Kudos:
- 4,179
- Bookmarks:
- 961
- Hits:
- 31,146
Bookmarked by puffix
08 Nov 2023
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Out of Curiosity by VivificanousPrime
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One, Transformers: Prime, The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
12 Mar 2023
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Summary
How exactly Soundwave's chest compartments works is a mystery, even to the host. It's only logical, then, for Shockwave to be curious about its properties.
a.k.a., Megatron walks in on the Waves putting things in Soundwave's chest that most definitely do not belong there.
Bookmarked by puffix
30 Oct 2023
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Summary
5 time sanji does not realise he's Zoro's and one time he knows it
Bookmarked by puffix
25 Oct 2023
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Summary
Sanji, the third prince of the Underworld and the god of nothing at all, makes the decision to break out of hell. Funny enough, that's easier said than done.
Bookmarked by puffix
23 Oct 2023
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I Tax You Not, You Elements, With Unkindness by Decepticonsensual
Fandoms: Transformers: Beast Wars (Cartoon), Transformers - All Media Types
22 Oct 2023
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Summary
Dinobot has a hangup about accepting help. Rattrap, it's becoming screamingly obvious, has a hangup about big, stinking, stubborn, unjustly attractive lizards. And there's no way they're getting home in this weather.
Your classic huddling for warmth fic, now with added Shakespeare.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,652
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 19
- Kudos:
- 127
- Bookmarks:
- 22
- Hits:
- 865
Bookmarked by puffix
22 Oct 2023
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Summary
"Love is something extraordinary and beautiful, and I had it. I had it, okay?" He holds his hands out and flexes his fingers like he's presenting something heavy and precious. "And I took it for granted and I lost it, and I can't let that happen. I need to fix it."
Zoro looks at Sanji. His eye is blazing and posture is wide. Why did he have to be so damn passionate about everything?
"It really means that much to you?" He asks.
"Yes," Sanji breathes.or, the au where a divorced zoro and sanji time travel back to before they'd ever been together in the first place.
Bookmarked by puffix
18 Sep 2023
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Summary
It’s so quiet in the war room that you could hear a pin drop. Not a single person dares to say a word - not even the favored princes - and all eyes remain fixed on the head of the table, where a large figure sits hunched over in its chair, clutching the latest newsreel between two massive fists.
Having been forewarned of some of the contents of said newsreel, Sanji does his best to keep anything from showing on his face, to maintain his expression in an implacable facade. He thinks he largely succeeds in controlling himself outwardly, but inwardly his gut is churning with emotion.
The newsreel twitches, and the five people not holding the paper sit up a little straighter in their seats, each of them bracing for impact without actually meaning to as slowly, oh so slowly, the paper is lowered down until it’s resting flat on the table.
“Well,” Judge says, his mouth working like he wants to spit. “This is certainly an … unexpected development.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,010
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 488
- Kudos:
- 9,365
- Bookmarks:
- 2,159
- Hits:
- 84,556
Bookmarked by puffix
15 Sep 2023