pantsonfire



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Hello,” Ilya repeats, still kind of stuck on those freckles.

    “Hi?” the man says.

    “Hi,” Ilya says—again.

    Oh god, he's said hello three times now. He should literally say anything else. His name, probably. His phone number, preferably.

    “Hi,” Ilya says again, because he can’t help it. “I am—”

    “Are you Nick?” the man asks, and it comes out as a breathless sound.

    OR: Shane gets stood up on a blind date, and Ilya comes to the rescue, and proceeds to make a series of questionable decisions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    64,878
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    3,270
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    9,365
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    20 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Unknown Number
    Its been 24 hours you can stop now

    Rose
    Who’s this ??
    Stop what ??

    Unknown Number
    Holding him hostage

    ~

    Rose receives a text message from an unknown number claiming to be Shane's ex. In Ilya's defense, impulse control was never one of his strong suits.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,296
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    866
    Kudos:
    3,600
    Bookmarks:
    848
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    68,650

    13 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane was fourteen the first time a number felt like safety.

    The nutritionist worked out of an office in Kanata, framed certificates, a calm voice, laminated charts with columns. She explained it simply: fuel in, output required, timing of each. She said it was a starting point.

    Shane took notes in the margins the way he took notes on everything—completely, past what was required. Yuna had found the nutritionist herself, sat beside him, and took notes too.

    Like mother, like son.

    -

    Or: Shane’s system works until it doesn’t; Ilya notices first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,240
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    239
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    1,230
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    442
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    05 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “And why is a Russian prince inviting me to his matchmaking party? Do they need gentry chaperones or something?”

    “No, no, and it’s not a party, it’s a whole series of affairs, it’s…Shane, you’re invited as a candidate. A marriage candidate.”

    Shane pulls the phone away to make sure the line’s still connected and he hasn’t accidentally started watching Downton Abbey or something.

    Prince Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov meets Shane Hollander, Duke of Montreal.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    75,827
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    1,325
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    3,815
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    1,233
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    70,730

    31 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.

    “I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”

    He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.

    When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.

    (the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)

    (or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    27 May 2026