nefariousrubix



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s—God, everything is so—Dean’s supposed to be this all-knowing guy. This gifted savior come to fix all that got screwed over before. But the longer he’s allowed to make choices and the longer he squeezes himself into this body that doesn’t fit him anymore, the more he feels like he’s just not cut out for it.

    He's not smart enough for this. Not creative or artistic enough—if the past were made out of clay, vulnerable to whatever shape Dean’s hands are capable of making, then he thinks the past might take the shape of a gun. He imagines the timeline crumpling in his hands to the metaphorical barrel end of it, a dark tunnel waiting for the inevitable explosion to go off by his calloused fingers.

    _______________

    Or: During the rapture, in a moment of hopelessness, Jack sends Dean back to 2015 on a mission: Kill God. Only, he gets the day wrong and Dean pops up in 2008, freshly out of hell with too much baggage and not a clue how to stop Chuck. He also struggles with accountability (or lack thereof). But what else is new.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    216,376
    Chapters:
    21/24
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    858
    Kudos:
    2,467
    Bookmarks:
    733
    Hits:
    61,947

    25 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    It almost feels like, if Dean went to sleep right now, he could get it back. Like he would slip right back into the dream, and it would pick up where it left off. But Dean doesn’t even want to, now that he can see that world for what it is: a cheap hallucination, poking at all his weaknesses, going right for the soft underbelly Dean never shows.

    All that work. All that work Dean had done over the past few weeks, trying to numb himself and act like he’d forgotten about it. And now it feels like the Empty took Cas all of five minutes ago, all over again.

    Or,

    A post-15x19, forty one year-old Dean gets a taste of what twenty seven year-old Dean went through in 2x20, “What Is and What Should Never Be,” and sees how the shape of his own happiness has changed. Then life goes on, same as it ever was—except for the dreams he starts having at all hours of the day, and a familiar voice on the phone that's starting to sound a little too real.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,953
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    319
    Kudos:
    1,638
    Bookmarks:
    548
    Hits:
    26,593

    20 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 44

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    Summary

    Sam and Dean don’t have a mom to celebrate on Mother’s Day - they just have a Bobby.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,242
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    223
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    903

    04 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 21

    Words:
    19,078
    Works:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    21

    28 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    When Cas comes back from the Empty, Dean has to rethink everything about their relationship, and Dean’s new, post-Chuck duty.

    He wants Cas to be happy and get what he wants. So, if he wants Dean, then he has him. Dean’s new responsibility is to be the best boyfriend Cas will ever want or need. If that means moving out of the bunker, and not driving the Impala, and letting Cas fuck him, then that’s what he has to do.

    It’s an easy deal. It should be an easy life. So how come Dean still can’t quite make sense of it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,335
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    175
    Kudos:
    1,850
    Bookmarks:
    652
    Hits:
    24,325

    17 May 2026