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“Turn that off,” John snaps, cuffing Dean on the back of her head. She flinches, but she can’t. She can’t take her eyes off of the screen.
She doesn’t often watch the news because politics don’t matter to people living off the grid and local gossip doesn’t matter to nomads and the economy doesn’t make sense to her because she’s just not wired that way, but she feels sick. She feels sick and compelled and she has to watch because Jesus, this story deserves the dignity of disgust.
“Matthew Shepard is only 21, and is in critical condition at Poudre Valley Hospital. His attackers have yet to be identified—”
“I said,” John growls, yanking the remote out of Dean’s hands, “turn it off.” He gestures to Sam, who’s doing homework, while the TV goes black. “He doesn’t need to be exposed to that pervert shit. He’s a kid.”
Matthew Shepard is a kid, Dean thinks to herself. He is a kid. He is a kid. I’m a kid.
Even on the blank screen, she can still see Logan Shepard’s face. She doesn’t think she’ll ever unsee Logan Shepard’s face. And she wonders what John would look like if he ever came home to news like that.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,166
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 109
- Kudos:
- 1,074
- Bookmarks:
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- 5,575
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
22 Mar 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
So this might be the best thing I've ever read.
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“And are you gonna tell me what’s so important you had to come in here and be a piece of shit?” Vriska moves closer until she’s practically pressed her chest against Dave’s shoulder, which he instinctively leans away from.
“Do you even actually care..?” Dave mumbles as he looks up from the alchemiter screen to rifle through his sylladex. He sighs when he discovers the 10-Foot Apple Slice is not there.
Dave’s shoulder bumps Vriska as he moves away from the alchemiter. She frowns. “Of course not,” she lies, “I just feel like causing you problems right now. Is it working?”
“Kind of, yeah.” Dave sighs again and floats towards the door to the room. Vriska, of course, follows.-
Dave goes on a little adventure while trying to find something to shave his face with. Vriska gets wrapped up in it because she's a nosy piece of shit, and he deals with it.
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flee from your ghosts (burn your house down) by thepolysyndetonaddictsupportgroup
Fandoms: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
09 Oct 2021
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“So,” says Wendy. “How much did the little dudes tell you about their summers here?”
“Oh, I don’t know. They told me about the friends they made, some of the things they did. Why?”
“Right.” Wendy nods. “Um. I have to leave immediately.”
Or:
Wirt decides the best thing for his family at the moment is to move. And what better place than Gravity Falls? Gravity Falls has family, friends, history, and enough secrets to drown in.
He really wishes someone would tell him what the hell is going on.
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The Christmas break after Weirdmageddon goes exceptionally well.
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
24 Sep 2025
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get the hell out of dodge by trips_around_the_sun
Fandoms: The Summer I Turned Pretty (TV 2022)
04 Mar 2023
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The adrenaline of the summer is over, and Conrad is starting his first year of college. With his parents getting a divorce, his mother going through experimental cancer treatment, his brother beginning a downward spiral, and his relationship with Belly suddenly changed, there's only so much Conrad can take before he breaks. He's just trying to hold on for as long as possible, relying on Cleveland's advice to get him through. If he had it his way, he'd bury all his feelings and never bring them up again, unwilling to burden anyone else, but college (and a few new friends) have other ideas.
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In English class, they did a poetry unit, and Chris had liked it more than he'd expected. Not all the poems, obviously, but he likes poetry in general, as it turns out. Robert Frost and Emily Dickinson and even Shakespeare, the rhythm of the sonnets, the language. He'd liked the unit so much he went to the library and got out a poetry anthology, so he could find other poems he'd like too.
He brought the book back to his grandparents' house and flipped through it in his room, stopping on any title that caught his eye, letting the words wash over him.
On page 78, he found, "Childhood is the Kingdom Where Nobody Dies," and he felt his heart stop.
It wasn't exactly that he wanted to read it. But he had to. He couldn't have stopped if he tried. And once he'd read it, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He went online and printed a copy, kept it hidden like contraband under his bed because he didn't want Abuela to find it when she was cleaning and ask about it.
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
08 May 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
It's not really that Chris thinks he grew up when Mom died. But if he's really honest, he thinks he might have grown up before then. Sometimes, he thinks he was born grown up. He was still a kid, he still said stuff like "must you always be kissing a person," but for as long as he can remember, he's known mothers and fathers could die. Would die.
"I'm sorry." He's crying; he doesn't know when he started. "I love you. I want to be there when bad things happen."
There's no right thing to say, from what Chris can tell. Just less wrong things.
diaznuts: buck told us u joined the dead parents clubTo be grown up is to sit at the table with people who have died, he does not say. But he thinks that a lot, every time he has a meal. He thought about it most before Dad came to Texas, when he ate every meal with his grandparents, who were alive, and imagined eating with his mom, who was dead, and his dad, who was eight hundred miles away.
...
this concept is the only thing i would forgive dead!bobby for tbh
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You must be redstone, because you activate my heart by tinypeckers for queersbuckley, LemonFilm
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
18 Apr 2025
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Day 1 of 14 days of 9-1-1 mid season hiatus
Buck knows a lot of things, like the average person blinks 14 to 17 times per minute or it would take 19 minutes to fall to the centre of the earth, but he doesn’t know how to craft a pickaxe in Minecraft. Or how to play Minecraft. At all.
Thankfully, he has Eddie and Chris to help guide him through and what’s a better father-son bonding activity than humouring Buck’s incompetence?
Or the fic where Buck learns about dried ghasts and wants to play Minecraft for the first time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,946
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 7
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- 69
- Bookmarks:
- 16
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- 535
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
19 Apr 2025
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Buck. Chris imagines the shelf he lives on in his mind, stored close to home and Dad. He thinks he’d need more than one little strip of tape for him. Friend and safe and firefighter and family and- he doesn’t know. He thinks he hasn’t learned the words yet to describe the kind of hurting he feels when he thinks about Buck. Not a bad hurting. Kind of like loneliness, like wanting somebody there, but it happens even when Buck is there. Chris doesn’t know. Dad is on the porch now and he’s holding Buck, different than a hug, in some way Chris also doesn’t know how to describe. Sometimes it feels like Chris doesn’t know anything at all.
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Eddie and Chris come home
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
12 Apr 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Buck. Chris imagines the shelf he lives on in his mind, stored close to home and Dad. He thinks he’d need more than one little strip of tape for him. Friend and safe and firefighter and family and- he doesn’t know. He thinks he hasn’t learned the words yet to describe the kind of hurting he feels when he thinks about Buck. Not a bad hurting. Kind of like loneliness, like wanting somebody there, but it happens even when Buck is there. Chris doesn’t know. Dad is on the porch now and he’s holding Buck, different than a hug, in some way Chris also doesn’t know how to describe. Sometimes it feels like Chris doesn’t know anything at all. He sits in the car and wishes he could drive so he could get his knuckles all tight on the wheel. He grabs the door handle and thinks it’s not really the same and then he opens the door, gets out of the car.
...
god fuck OW
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It’s supposed to be the three of them, together. Buck, Eddie, and Chris. That’s what Buck promised, beneath the rubble and dust of Westfield Mall. And it’s not like Buck to break a promise.
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Or, Chris and Eddie get breakfast together, and talk about all of it.Series
- Part 2 of i can reap, must mean i can sew
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
10 Apr 2025
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Missing Chris is less of an emotion these days and more of a physical entity. He’s sure everyone can see that he’s slowly hollowing himself out, that he can’t do much of anything else.
But when Jee laughs at him trying to get his tongue to touch his nose, and Mara loops one of her arms through his to keep him from tossing the rest of his cup in the garbage, Eddie feels solid again.
Maybe he likes yellow birthday cake ice cream after all.
(or, gerrard messes with the team's schedules and eddie 'i just drove my son to flee the state' diaz is the only option to watch mara and jee-yun after school on tuesdays, which, shouldn't be a problem at all, right?)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,577
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 1,878
- Kudos:
- 20,238
- Bookmarks:
- 8,054
- Hits:
- 333,705
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
08 Apr 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Read this on a Tuesday!!! Magic and wonder the DAY I order a sweet treat this gem shows up!!
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when the world's not perfect, when the world's not kind. by dylaesthetics
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
13 Jan 2025
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“Your friend Diego. Were you in love with him?”
Not a muscle twitches on Dad’s face.
“Dad, it’s fine. You can tell me.”
Dad gives him a nod so small, he barely notices it.
Christopher figured. But it’s nice to have the confirmation.
Next order of business, then.
“Are you in love with Buck now?”
Dad shuts his eyes, pained.
When he reopens them, he gives him another nod.
Figures.
_____
OR In the smouldering heat of El Paso, Christopher Diaz learns all about his dad, one old teenage diary entry at a time.
Series
- Part 1 of buckley-diaz family feels <3
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The 118 goes to an amusement park. Literally everything ensues.
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
07 Apr 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
“You taste like cotton candy,” he said instead, with absolutely no idea why he said it.
“You smell like lemonade,” Buck shot back, easily and fondly, and something lurched so suddenly in Eddie’s stomach that for a second he was scared he would throw up right there.
“Oh.”
Buck laughed again, and the orange glow of the setting sun reflected sparkles in his eyes. “It’s okay,” he offered. “I like lemonade.”
...
come for the gay ass (found this in the buddie tag) stay for hen, ravi, bobby and the kids.
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When he looked up, Eddie’s eyes were bright, focused. He was a little flushed, and his shoulders were soft but his jaw was set. “I love you,” he said.
“I love you, too, man,” Buck said. “But you know what I mean.”
“I do know,” Eddie said. “Buck, I’m trying to tell you something.”- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,749
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 109
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- 1,554
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- 379
- Hits:
- 13,951
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
06 Apr 2025
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They're Sticks, Probably (Anima Virus) by HakureiRyuu
Fandoms: Animator vs. Animation (Short Films - Becker)
02 May 2024
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Summary
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
📎 (1) AttachmentI found this little guy on my desktop yesterday, messing around with some stuff. He emailed himself (???!) to you afterwards. A few times, actually; there was an orange one here before as well. Do you know anything about this? I swear I'm not making this up, and I really need someone to tell me my PC is not haunted by the ghost of every childhood scribble that didn't make it to the refrigerator or whatever. The mystery is driving me insane.
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(aka a dumping ground for my headcanons, "holding Alan responsible for his actions: the fanfic", and a smidgen of pre-AvA6 au)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 74,910
- Chapters:
- 35/35
- Comments:
- 1,816
- Kudos:
- 1,684
- Bookmarks:
- 343
- Hits:
- 33,099
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
04 Apr 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Orange plainly doesn't care for Paint, but he's gotten better at it. Rather than attempting to create smooth lines and gradients, he shades everything manually, pixel by pixel. Green climbs to the top to pull from the color palette on Orange’s instruction, while the others stay below and spout ideas in little pictures over their heads.
The image emerges bit by bit, one line of pixels at a time as though it's being run off a printer. Hair, eyes, the outline of glasses...
It's Alan.
Alan stares at himself, exactly as he is. Tired, regretful, lost. Determined.
And, as he stares, all five of his sticks approach the blocky mirror of an illustration. They look pointedly out at Alan. A whisper brushes past his ears ‒ pay attention.
They each throw their arms around Alan in a hug.
He can't feel it. Of course he can't. But he still stifles a sob at what he does feel.
He could live a thousand years and never be so lucky as this.
Orange slides down from his perch atop drawing!Alan’s shoulder and skips toward the front of the screen, as close as he can be. He jumps up and down a bit, and Alan can imagine that wide, genuine smile, despite having never seen it. He'll never be able to see it. But he knows with more certainty than he's ever felt that it's there.
Alan matches it as he reaches out, touches a single, careful finger to meet Orange's hand on the other side of the screen.
Every one of his stick figures meets him there, reaching back.
...
dude.
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Summary
Buck kissed him. It didn’t feel like a declaration the way kisses usually do. It didn’t feel stifling. It felt like a plea. It felt like exactly what he said, like don’t go. Buck is still getting over Tommy, and Eddie is straight, and the two of them—it’s easy between the two of them.
The engine roars and Buck turns to look at him, eyebrows raised as if asking if he’s ready. Eddie nods, swallows, and puts his head back. Buck kissed him, and they won’t talk about it, and Eddie’s fine with that because really, Buck’s the only thing that’s ever been easy for Eddie.
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or Buck kisses Eddie in LA. Eddie kisses Buck in El Paso. They figure out what that means somewhere along the way to bringing Chris back home.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,465
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 281
- Kudos:
- 2,537
- Bookmarks:
- 734
- Hits:
- 26,498
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
26 Mar 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
“I’m making you sad,” Chris says, watching him, his voice breaking.
“No,” Eddie says, rejecting that immediately. “No, Christopher,” but Chris is shaking his head.
“I am,” he says, beginning to cry. “I’m making you sad.”
“No,” Eddie says firmly, going to him, wrapping his arms around Chris as he lets go and cries hard into Eddie’s chest. “You’ve never made me sad.” He presses a kiss into his hair, holds Chris as he shakes. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, kid,” he says, feeling like he’s going to cry himself.
“You make yourself sad for me,” Chris sobs, and Eddie is nothing but sorrow and he has to—he needs to—
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It unravels, somewhere between a strawberry milkshake and a burger that drips grease onto the Formica table, when Christopher says:
“I have to go to church on Wednesday.”
Eddie pauses with a fry halfway to his mouth and dripping in ketchup, and glances over the table at him. “On Wednesday?” he repeats. “For what?”
Chris shrugs one shoulder. “There’s a-a healing service.”
Eddie slowly sets the fry back down on his tray as Christopher takes a bite of his burger. “Healing service,” Eddie says. He’s trying not to jump to conclusions— really, he is, both because he wants to give his parents the benefit of the doubt and because if this is going where he thinks it’s going, he might actually lose his mind.
“Yeah,” Christopher says. “It might be a good idea.”
or: eddie goes to texas and finds that the situation is worse than he'd thought.
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
24 Mar 2025
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Eddie Diaz is from El Paso, Texas; a fact which accounts for both more and less than he ever expected it to.
Series
- Part 1 of 9-1-1
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,993
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 123
- Kudos:
- 1,036
- Bookmarks:
- 352
- Hits:
- 11,006
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
22 Mar 2025
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Carla turned off the car and turned to him. “It’s just you and me,” she said. “What happened, baby?”
Everyone said he’d been such a sweet kid. Every time he opened his mouth, he could hear himself pushing that kid farther away.
“Nothing,” said Chris.
Series
- Part 1 of Can't seem to forget about it
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Dave and Gamzee have some trouble in the sack; being Gamzee's kismesis is difficult when you have an aversion to bleeding. Karkat tries his best to auspitise, but it's never quite right. The three of them fix to solve the issue with some soft hypnosis, hoping Gamzee would be less inclined to break skin if Dave were nice and gentle.
Bookmarked by mostlyCyanide
21 Mar 2025
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Tommy broke up with him, Eddie's leaving, Chris is already gone, and Buck is feeling that old, dangerous urge to just leave. To get in his Jeep and not come back so he doesn't have to deal with any of it. But he doesn't want to be that person again, so he goes to Bobby, desperate to fix it in another way. Any way.
When Buck doesn't show up for a shift, Eddie's left reeling, forced to confront the fact that he may have irreparably hurt his best friend by being just another person in the long line of people that left Buck behind.
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Or:
Buck doesn't know how to cope with everything going on in his life, so he takes a temporary assignment on a wildfire in Montana to clear his head. In a lot of ways, it works, until he slams right into some realizations about his past.