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    Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollanderofficial 
    I’ve seen many publications over the years speculating on my own, and my husband’s, hockey stats and accolades in relation to our romantic relationship and when the public assumes it started. 

    We don’t owe this to anyone. But we’ve also been playing professional hockey for seventeen years and we’ve both run out of ahem, cares to give.

    On the right is a photograph from the behind the scenes of our joint CCM advertisement in July of 2010. This photo predates the hundreds of combined accomplishments listed on the left. 

    Oh, and it was also taken about six hours before our first kiss. 

    -----

    or; a year from retirement and out of fucks to give, shane reveals their timeline to twitter in response to the latest speculatory article on their relationship. hollanovs across the world rejoice, centaurs celebrate their beloved dads, and former teammates share the not-so-subtle clues they missed the first time.

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    25 Jun 2026

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    It’s strange. He went down hard, but nothing hurts. That might be very bad, if he can’t feel anything at all. But it’s not that. He can feel things, but they just don’t feel right. Maybe they already have him up on the stretcher, because he’s lying on something soft, not the cold ice he’d crumpled onto when he fell. He’s never felt a stretcher quite like this before, though.

    “Ilya!”

    There it is again. But now it’s louder. Almost unmistakably Shane.

    Blinking against sunlight, Ilya opens his eyes, and stares up at the brilliant blue sky.

    --

    After a bad hit during a game in 2016, Ilya wakes up at Shane Hollander's cottage in 2023. Finding out he has a dog, plays for Ottawa, and is married to Shane in quick succession, confronting the existence of time travel becomes the least of his worries.

    Language:
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    900
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    24 Jun 2026

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    “Is that a Doctor Doom impersonator,” Peter said, staring down at Johnny’s phone in horror.

    “I wanted Elvis,” Johnny yawned. “But you said this was funnier.”

    “He’s going to kill me,” Peter said blankly. “Doctor Doom is going to kill me because I married his fourth favorite nemesis—”

    “Hey, Ben is the fourth favorite. I’m a solid third.”

    His fourth favorite nemesis in Las Vegas—”

    “The Little Latverian Chapel, if you want to get exact.”

    “With a Doctor Doom impersonator officiating.”

    “He said we were his favorite couple of the night, by the way,” Johnny said, yawning. “And he just smiled and nodded when you told him you were actually Spider-Man.”

    ***

    Peter welcomes Johnny back from the Negative Zone, marries him, and falls in love. In that order.

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    5,410

    21 Jun 2026

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    Lily hit the last girl she fucked.

    Across the face, less hard than she would hit Jane, but that is still who she pictured. The girl had looked up at her, a little teary, whining, her features morphing into Jane, Jane, Jane, and suddenly Lily only needed that girl's face between her thighs for a bare minute before she came.

    Prissy fucking brilliant Jane Hollander, who Lily wants to fuck as much as she wants to best her for the number one spot in this year's student ranking. There. She said it.

    or: Academic Rivalry AU, Jane Hollander has a freaky little excel sheet of freaky little porn, and Lily finds out.

    Series
    Language:
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    6,103
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    152
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    4,620

    20 Jun 2026

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    Hazy: Happy birthday, Roz!

    Bood: Happy birthday, Cap!

    Barrett: Happy birthday!!

    Dykstra: It’s your birthday!

    Haas: Happy birthday, Captain! You are the most wonderful hockey player and leader, and I hope today is your best birthday yet ❤️

    Ilya: Well, it’s not, so your wishes mean nothing.

    Bood: Okay. Well.
    Bood: Looks like we are feeling a bit dramatic today.

    Hazy: Do you want to expand, or how can we best support you?

    Ilya: I will expand even though it is incredibly painful to do so.

    Barrett: Oh, goody.

    Ilya: My husband.
    Ilya: Shane Hollander.
    Ilya: The supposed love of my life.
    Ilya: The holder of my heart and half of my assets.
    Ilya: The future father of my children and feeder of my dog.
    Ilya: Forgot my birthday.

    Language:
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    438
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    11,160
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    15 Jun 2026