idearys
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I've found a reason for me (to change who I used to be) by idearys
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
03 Feb 2026
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Summary
The first time that Jayce had ever cut himself, he was fourteen. He’d been scratching, scratching, scratching, because there was this impossible equation that he just couldn’t crack, and the unfairness of it all made him red-hot and gave him the all-consuming feeling that he needed to get the feeling out. And then, for the first time since he’d started the habit, his nails weren’t enough.
He’d crept downstairs and taken his mother’s sharpest kitchen knife with trembling hands and cut one shallow, clean line into his forearm. And then he’d felt nausea bubbling up in his throat, strong and revolted and tremendously guilty and cleaned the knife until his skin cracked from the soap.
He didn’t eat food prepared with that knife for a week, bile rising every time he saw it in his mother’s hands. Vowed never again.
He broke that vow two weeks later.
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Jayce is well-polished, well-presented, and totally, unequivocally, and wholly in love with his best friend.
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“Why did you not kill me, then?” He whispers, and In-ho is delighted to hear fury lacing his voice. He wants that anger, that emotion.
“I could never kill you.” he admits, truthfully.
There’s a beat. In-ho must have let too much slip because Gi-hun regards him with a look he’s never seen before.
“Why?” He asks, and the unsaid answer lingers in the air.
OR
Post episode 7, In-ho and Gi-hun have a talk. Things escalate, secrets are revealed, and In-ho’s very expensive whisky is spilled all over the floor.
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Villain and violent (infant and innocent) by idearys
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
06 Nov 2024
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Summary
“Agatha, why don't you show us your battle scars?”
Jen smiles whilst saying this, not in an unkind way at all, but Agatha swallows the lump of apprehension in her throat. Logically, she knows that Jen does not mean to say this to embarrass her, but there’s a hot flash of humiliation in the pit of her stomach. Obviously, she’s being irrational; nobody knows about.. those ones. Not even Rio.
She forces the heat creeping up her neck down and says,
“I don’t have any.”
OR
Agathario angst. Everyone needs a hug. Old scars. Girls kissing. Lesbian feelings. You get it.
(Now a chapter fic! Chapter one was written as a one shot, and it can be read as a stand-alone.)
Edit 19/11/24: unfortunately i have been struck by the ao3 writer curse, and something happened that stopped me from writing. I promise the next update will be soon! I’ve not forgotten about this :)
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Alison had heard of the thousand-yard-stare, and she had seen a grainy black-and-white picture of a soldier with shellshock in her Year Eleven history textbook, but the look on the Captains face was so haunted, that she took a step back. She would happily pay to never see anyone look at her like that again. It was literally like he was looking through her.
His face was screwed up with.. grief. Unmistakable grief.
OR
Alison finds out what happened to the Captain in regards to his life. And death.
Episode 5 destroyed me.
Series
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Gloria gave a sad smile. “There was nothing you could do for that flower. No matter how hard you tried, it was gone. It was dead. That’s the same with every living thing in this world. Including lions. Including humans. You can’t bring them back, you can’t.. You can’t meet them again.”
“Oh.” Barbie was silent for a minute, processing. “How do you ever do anything?” She whispered, eyes filling up with tears.
OR
1. Barbie 2. Learning about death 3. Learning that panic attacks are not normal 4. Realising that anxiety isn't as severe for everyone else as it is for you 5. Are feelings for your best friend normal?
Recent series
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Akutagawa begins a series of experiments to determine just how cat-like Atsushi is. Can he really be blamed if he happens to fall in love along the way?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,177
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 69
- Kudos:
- 1,992
- Bookmarks:
- 450
- Hits:
- 11,881
Bookmarked by idearys
13 May 2026
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Down on his luck photographer, Nakajima Atsushi gets an offer too good to turn down when charming fashion magnate Dazai Osamu invites him to photograph an upcoming collection for his company No Longer Human. This would all be a dream come true if it wasn't for the eternally ill-tempered model Dazai has paired him with, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. But Atsushi learns quickly that first impressions can be deceiving when he sees first-hand how dark and ruthless the fashion industry, and Dazai, can really be.
Series
- Part 1 of No Longer Human - Fashion AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 56,906
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 122
- Kudos:
- 943
- Bookmarks:
- 196
- Hits:
- 18,259
Bookmarked by idearys
09 May 2026
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After breaking an opponent's jaw mid-game, Jayce Talis finds himself deep in a PR disaster—and his career as a rugby star is on the line.
Enter Viktor, a tired but dedicated teacher with a no-nonsense attitude. Self-proclaimed as 'not a fan', Viktor wants nothing to do with Jayce's redemption arc, and even less to do with him.
Series
- Part 1 of in all timelines
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 138,013
- Chapters:
- 19/19
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 886
- Kudos:
- 2,159
- Bookmarks:
- 601
- Hits:
- 55,716
Bookmarked by idearys
08 Apr 2026
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It’s been half a year now since his marriage to Mel fell apart and Jayce became a stay-at-home dad. A little less than that, since he offered Viktor the empty guest room, just to make juggling work and child-rearing overall easier.
It’s a question of convenience, really. Jayce gets to take care of his daughter, but he also has someone to watch her when he needs to run errands, to play with her next door while Jayce is in a conference call with their sponsors.
And if Mae gets a little confused about how many daddies she has… or if Jayce is in denial about what kind of partner he wants Viktor to be… Well. They’re going to figure it out eventually.
Series
- Part 1 of Lean on me 'verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,952
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 637
- Kudos:
- 5,004
- Bookmarks:
- 1,191
- Hits:
- 69,429
Bookmarked by idearys
07 Apr 2026
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Summary
Popstar Langa Hasegawa is famous, successful, and quietly falling apart.
Trapped in a relationship that asks him to be smaller, quieter, and easier to control, his music stalls and his sense of self begins to fade. From the outside, everything looks perfect- but behind closed doors, he’s suffocating.
Then he meets upcoming actor Reki Kyan, and suddenly, softness and love exist again.
Bookmarked by idearys
17 Feb 2026