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    “How old are you?”
    “What do you care?” is the hostile reply.
    “Because I don’t remember agreeing to hire kids on the cleaning team.”
    Peter Parker takes another bite of his sandwich and says, around a full mouth: “I’m just here for my community sentence.”
    “Huh,” Tony says. “Why?”
    “I spray painted ‘superheroes should go fuck themselves’ on the side of this building. Got caught.”
    “Better luck next time, then. Were you in my lab yesterday?”
    “I was in several labs,” says the kid dismissively.
    “Did you mess with my calculations?”
    “I corrected them, if that’s what you mean. Today is my last day, and the thought of leaving them up like that, half-assed, gave me angina. So, yeah, sue me.”
    -
    After failing to save someone from a fire, Spider-Man hung up his suit. Now, three months later, a grumpy teen named Peter Parker stumbles into the Avengers’ lives.

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    03 May 2026