TheExpertProcrastinator
Fandoms
Recent works
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Ode to Misery by TheExpertProcrastinator
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
02 May 2026
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Summary
“What do you want, Stratt? Figure it out, and go get it, because we’re fighting for life here and you can’t lead that fight if you don’t have one.”
OR:
A world in which Ryland Grace is just a little bit more willing to call out bullshit where he sees it.
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Defy the Sun by TheExpertProcrastinator
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026), The Fall Guy (2024)
29 Apr 2026
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Summary
Love is what makes us defy the Sun itself to return home.
OR:
Ryland Grace's departure from home and eventual return, as told from the perspective of his twin brother.
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Bite the Bullet by TheExpertProcrastinator
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary (2026)
28 Apr 2026
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Summary
Ryland Grace isn't a vindictive man. He never has been; he simply doesn't have the capacity.
He's also never been quite so devastatingly betrayed.
If Stratt is content for him to be chased and cornered like a senseless animal, then he intends to act like one.
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Secrets, Secrets, Are No Fun by TheExpertProcrastinator
Fandoms: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types
08 Feb 2026
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Summary
Luke and Leia crash-land on Tatooine with limited resources; Leia suffering extensive wounds.
With Lando and Chewie out of reach and Han still frozen in carbonite, Luke has no choice but to make a sacrifice, and call for help.
OR:
Vader goes chasing after his child, and finds another in the process.
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Couch by TheExpertProcrastinator
Fandoms: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
24 Apr 2025
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Summary
At a bar, Anakin explains the injustice of Padme's punishment to Obi-Wan after he accidentally teaches baby Luke a bad word.
That's it. That's the story.
Recent series
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Star Wars One-Shots by TheExpertProcrastinator
Fandom Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
11 Mar 2023
- Words:
- 14,563
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 8
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The One Where Qui-Gon Turns To The Dark Side by TheExpertProcrastinator
Fandom Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
22 Jul 2023
- Words:
- 24,413
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 52
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
Ryland blinked. The world swam.
A face. Above him. Backlit by the gray afternoon sky streaming through the shattered window, features shadowed and impossible to resolve into anything coherent. Strong jaw. Blue eyes sharp, looking at him with an intensity that should have been frightening but wasn't, somehow. Wasn't frightening at all.
Court?
The name surfaced from somewhere deep and buried under years of carefully constructed normalcy. The face above him blurred and shifted in his failing vision, and for one breathless, impossible moment it was him. Older, harder, scarred in ways Ryland's memory didn't account for, but him.
Oh, Ryland thought, with the strange, floating calm of someone who understood they were dying. You came to get me.
Bookmarked by TheExpertProcrastinator
06 Jun 2026
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Cosmic Slumber by thederpypikachu
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
04 Jun 2026
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Summary
imagine you're the personification of humanity and learning and discovery and teaching and knowledge and life itself
and in your weakest state, trying to help save the earth and all of her life, the life that literally brought you into existence, that life turns on you
and you fight so hard and in the end it means nothing because the humans swarm you, jabbing needle after needle into your flesh, the flesh you're trapped within, until finally your eyes close
the humans you love and watch over are unknowingly killing a god to try and save themselves, and they have no idea
Bookmarked by TheExpertProcrastinator
05 Jun 2026
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Summary
Whumpay 2026 Day 7: "Why did you lie to me?"
Book canon compliant rather than movie. Stratt visits Grace on the second day he is held in the cell at Baikonur, and Grace gets to touch the Earth one last time on his own terms. You might think that might help make this whole sequence easier? It does not.
Series
- Part 7 of Whumpay 2026
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,182
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 9
- Kudos:
- 130
- Bookmarks:
- 20
- Hits:
- 600
Bookmarked by TheExpertProcrastinator
01 Jun 2026
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holy mary on a cross by Anonymous
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
01 Jun 2026
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Summary
"Knock knock," Eva Stratt walks into the middleschool classroom with a folder in her hand. She has taken to greeting nearly every stranger she meets the same way, but only once.
The man sprawled at his desk splutters as he attempts to sit up. "What— who's there?"Or, Eva Stratt knows her soulmate's first and last words to her. Ryland Grace doesn’t notice until it’s too late.
Series
- Part 1 of hail mary, full of grace
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,140
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 111
- Bookmarks:
- 23
- Hits:
- 498
Bookmarked by TheExpertProcrastinator
01 Jun 2026
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Summary
One hour before launch, Ryland Grace confronts the banality of his sacrifice.
Bookmarked by TheExpertProcrastinator
31 May 2026