TheDancingTree
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,499
- Kudos:
- 31,496
- Bookmarks:
- 12,496
- Hits:
- 1,916,833
Bookmarked by TheDancingTree
17 Aug 2025
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HIS TOWN, HIS RULES by yanderenightmare
Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
16 Nov 2021
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Small-town cop au. Sheriff Bakugou ain't a fan of strangers coming into town.
Originally posted at yanderenightmare.tumblr.com
Bookmarked by TheDancingTree
29 Jan 2024
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In an attempt to escape the factory, you find yourself cornered by the big bad, himself. Luckily for you, Heisenberg thinks you'd make for an entertaining experiment...
Bookmarked by TheDancingTree
16 Mar 2023
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Summary
Peter always believed that he was a good, selfless guy. He didn't need any payment or thanks for what he did. He's a hero, he's SPIDER-MAN. It's his responsibility to protect New York (and even on occasion the universe). Peter didn't need an award, he doesn't feel entitled to any kind of repayment for his actions.
That was, until he saw you..........
Bookmarked by TheDancingTree
14 Aug 2022
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Fated Across the Stars by orphan_account
Fandom Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
27 Feb 2021
Summary
What if the Force had enough of Anakin's drama? What if the Force picked other "Chosen Ones"? What if you and three others are those Chosen Ones?
This series is about you and three other women taking down the ESB (Evil Sith Bastard) alongside the four clones who love and need you.
This series is... IN THE PROCESS OF BEING REWRITEN.
I hope you can stick with me on this.
- Words:
- 79,619
- Works:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 58
Bookmarked by TheDancingTree
05 Oct 2021