StopCallingMePastries



Fandoms

  1. 9-1-1 (TV) (1)

Recent works

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark 83

    Tags
    Summary

    Castiel Novak lives a quiet, well-ordered life - until the day he notices the most appealing omega scent he's ever encountered, lingering in the stacks of his library. The fact that he can never seem to find the omega themself drives him almost to distraction. When he accidentally catches a homeless drifter named Dean sneaking into the library after hours and identifies him as the elusive omega, there's no stopping the attraction between them.

    Dean Winchester is good at keeping secrets. When he realizes that his passionate encounter with a gorgeous alpha librarian has left him pregnant, it becomes just one more secret he can't afford to tell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,284
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    516
    Kudos:
    383
    Bookmarks:
    83
    Hits:
    9,059

    20 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Okay, pause. Is he really your fucking best friend, Shane?” Hayden's tone was weird, an entitled undertone shining through that was starting to bother Shane to his bones. “You gotta be kidding me, bro.”

    “Why? He’s my husband. Everyone says you gotta marry your best friend, so I did. What’s wrong with that?”

    “Dude, that doesn’t make sense! I’ve been by your side longer than he has—”

    “No, actually.” Shane corrected, as he fucking should have after the wedding, after the digs started to sting more than a chirp should. “I met Ilya before I signed with the Metros.”

    or: ilya rozanov is shane hollander's best friend, to hayden pike's shock and horror!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,346
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    4,589
    Bookmarks:
    587
    Hits:
    34,192

    17 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Shane: did you send my mom an SOS?

    Ilya: a what? what is SOS?

    Shane: like a distress signal

    Ilya: da. yes. told her there is big distress. my husband needs to get fucked by end of week or his dick will explode. would leave our kids with one less father

    Or,

    Shane and Ilya have been cockblocked by their kids for nearly 2 weeks. When they finally get a night to themselves, the tension snaps before they even make it to their dinner reservation.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,221
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    4,855
    Bookmarks:
    707
    Hits:
    65,402

    17 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    [Shane Hollander is dressed in shorts and a tank top as he sits on a yoga mat in his backyard. Anya, his dog, shared with his husband, Ilya Rozanov, runs around in the background, a large stick in her mouth.]

    Ilya: [off camera] How long is this going to take?

    Shane: I dunno. Half an hour? Harris just said he needed a few different yoga poses. He’s highlighting what different players on the team do for exercise.

    Ilya: So, I have to sit here and watch you narrate a whole yoga routine?

    Shane: Yes.

    Ilya: Being married is fun.

    [Shane glares and flips off the camera. Anya can be heard barking happily.]

    Ilya: Isn’t yoga supposed to make you calm? You do not seem very calm.

    Shane: Let’s just get this over with.

    Ilya: Now you are speaking my language.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,360
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    176
    Kudos:
    5,872
    Bookmarks:
    518
    Hits:
    27,751

    17 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "Glasses off. They are too sexy for school drop-off."

    "Ilya, I can't see without my glasses," said Shane.

    “Is okay. I’ll drive.”

    “No.”

    OR

    Shane gets new glasses that he has to wear all the time. Ilya loses his mind. A day in the life of two retired hockey players, their six-year-old daughter, and the glasses that are ruining Ilya's ability to function like a normal person.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,263
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    713
    Bookmarks:
    133
    Hits:
    10,703

    15 May 2026