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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    He’s just about ready to doze off—his ritualistic pre-dinner, thirty-minute nap—when, suddenly, Ilya says, “Huh. Interesting.”

    Shane cracks one eye open. “Hmm?”

    “Oh, nothing, малыш,” he replies, though his brows are furrowed when he says it. Shane’s even more curious now.

    “No, really, what is it?”

    Ilya must lose some internal debate; a deep sigh leaves his body before, wordlessly, he turns his phone to Shane.

    The bright light makes him squint, still not used to Ilya and his affinity for both using the light-mode feature and turning the brightness in his phone to a maximum. He forgoes scolding him when, after his eyes have adjusted, he reads: Metros acquires Fil-Canadian Rivera; second Asian player in franchise history after Hollander.

    At first he thinks, oh, that’s my name. Shane hasn’t seen his name mentioned remotely near the words ‘Montreal Metros’ ever since he transferred to Ottawa three years ago. Then, and this is when it finally dawns on him, Shane thinks: second?

    Series
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    31 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “She likes to haunt my freezer,” Ilya says, as Shane shuffles out of his Reeboks and into a pair of Ilya’s house slippers.

    It had seemed like a joke, when Ilya first brought it up. Their last morning at the cottage, dropped casually as they scrambled eggs together in the kitchen, a parting gag for the road. Oh, by the way, you know that dead mother I told you about? The one who killed herself and left me to find the body? Yes, okay, so, she is also a ghost and she haunts me. Well, my house, really. No, I am serious, Hollander! I am so serious, Russians do not joke, please! You do not believe me? You do not trust me? Fine. You will come over to my place some time and I will show you. She likes flowers, please bring daffodils.

    Shane brought the daffodils.

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    30 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    There are a great many things that Shane has no plans on telling his husband: that when he was twelve he broke a competitor’s hockey stick because he was mad his team didn’t win. That he sometimes thinks that his Mom would have liked to have another kid if Shane wasn’t much of a handful. That he had to pull over to cry in his car on the way back to his apartment that night in Montreal after seeing Ilya dance with another girl in the club.

    And, that he can no longer sleep in their bed without Ilya.

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    27 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “Hello,” Ilya repeats, still kind of stuck on those freckles.

    “Hi?” the man says.

    “Hi,” Ilya says—again.

    Oh god, he's said hello three times now. He should literally say anything else. His name, probably. His phone number, preferably.

    “Hi,” Ilya says again, because he can’t help it. “I am—”

    “Are you Nick?” the man asks, and it comes out as a breathless sound.

    OR: Shane gets stood up on a blind date, and Ilya comes to the rescue, and proceeds to make a series of questionable decisions.

    Language:
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    24 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

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    24 May 2026