Sea_Bears



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    Hayden hated the guy. Hated him.

    Hated his stupid, smug smirk and the myriad of insults he threw Hayden’s way and the way he made fun of Shane like it was a funny game then looked him up and down like a piece of meat and his reputation of sleeping with everything that fucking moved and the memories of being slammed into the boards by him and quite literally everything about this Russian dickhead.

    And he hated that he was now going to have to do everything in his power to learn how to tolerate Rozanov because Shane was inexplicably and hopelessly in love with him, and Shane was his brother in every fucking thing but blood, and Hayden was not going to keep being responsible for that sad puppy look on his face every time he realized how poorly they got along.

    So far, Hayden sucked at it. Big time.

    ---

    It bothers Shane that Hayden and Ilya don't get along, so Hayden is putting in the effort to try and see these redeeming qualities Shane claims the guy has. Over the years it becomes easier and easier, until one day, he realizes he doesn't have to actually try anymore.

    or, 5 times Hayden realized he was starting to tolerate Ilya + 1 time they acknowledged they were actually friends now

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    14 Feb 2026

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    Ilya’s feeling a little silly about the thought in and of itself, because everyone owns black t-shirts. This is a perfectly normal, ordinary article of clothing, and there is no reason for Ilya to be so magnetized by it that he is now reaching inside Shane’s suitcase to remove what is a completely innocuous black cotton tee that is clearly something Shane has always owned. The same kind that Ilya also owns, and ‘casually’ tossed at Shane when Shane was lying delectably shirtless in his bed a few months ago that godforsaken day in Boston Ilya can't bring himself to stop thinking about.

    Chert, Shane hasn’t just infected Ilya with his boring, his never-ending stream of consciousness mind-babble must be contagious, too.

    Ilya picks up the folded shirt and immediately forgets to be concerned about The Hollander Effect on his nervous system, because - yes, that’s definitely the scent of Ilya’s fabric softener lingering on those cotton fibers. He knows that for a fact because he can’t ever find his favorite brand in the US, so he always brings a case from Russia when he returns from a visit.

    Okay, so Shane kept Ilya’s shirt.

    And neglected to wash it.

    That’s hot, right?

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    12 Feb 2026

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    There are many ways to support your favorite player. Attending their games, for instance. Buying their jersey. Or, if you're trying to keep a secret relationship under wraps, you could drive four hours in the opposite direction, wrap yourself in a dollar store blanket with eyeholes cut in it, and attempt to blend in with the locals.

    It's foolproof. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

    The internet would never figure it out.

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    12 Feb 2026

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    Pummel: Fuck Jane

    St-Simon: nah…

    St-Simon: i dont think shes done anything wrong…

    Pummel: youre right

    Pummel: Sorry Jane

    Pummel: FUCK ROZANOV

    Varkov: FUCK ROZANOV

    Connors: Hey guys did you see this article about Rose Landry and Shane Hollander?

    Carmichael: Bad timing, man.

    Connors: Oh

    Connors: Give me a second to read back.

    Connors: Oh….

    Connors: FUCK ROZANOV

    [Or, how the Raiders---in particular the long suffering Cliff Marleau, dealt with the Great Jane Debacle of 2016, told in a series of texts, posts, and Cliff being the best Bostonian friend Ilya could ask for]

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    10 Feb 2026

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    The Ottawa Centaurs love and respect their married teammates. But if the team has to hear them fuck nasty one more time they will riot.

    Can Shane and Ilya keep it down while getting down? The answer won't surprise you.

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    09 Feb 2026