MeanderingStream



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  1. Public Bookmark 28

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    The AU where Phil stopped posting Youtube videos in the summer of 2009, before he ever knew who Dan was. Phil's life heads into a different direction that leads to the stable life he has at 35 years old. Phil is stuck in an unfulfilling relationship with a busy lawyer. Everything changes when Phil unknowingly inserts himself into a rookie lawyer, Dan Howell's, life. The wheels of fate that stopped moving in the summer of 2009 are in motion again and Phil sees what his life should have been like for all of these years.

    Language:
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    22/29
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    21 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 22

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    He looks like he does on screen, black emo hair a little like a very attractive bird’s nest, with yellow-checkered cat ears on his head, but unmistakably Phil. Dan is shocked, genuinely, that not everyone here falls head over heels for this man immediately. Surely they must. Surely they’re just doing a better job than Dan is at keeping it in. Maybe he’s not gay, maybe this is just what Phil does to people.

    “Hi,” Phil says. “You’ve got nice whiskers.”

    Dan chose the safety of a girlfriend over Phil, and now he meets Phil in real life for the first time at a YouTuber meetup. And for the first time. And for the first time. And for the- It's a time loop fic.

    Language:
    English
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    58,729
    Chapters:
    12/15
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    29 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 12

  3. Public Bookmark 48

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    Phil has known so many versions of Dan across time, and he has loved them all in their own ways.

    But none of them was this one: his Dan, sprawled beside him in a Las Vegas hotel room two weeks after his twenty-first birthday, who is sharp and unsure and sometimes infuriating, who gives hickeys to his older self and then pretends it was nothing. This one, tonight, is the one Phil loves most of all.

    A canon-inspired time-travel AU featuring secrets, yearning, self-hatred, self-love, a three-way in Vegas, and Phil Lester's unwavering belief in the red string of fate.

    Language:
    English
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    37,252
    Chapters:
    8/20
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    48
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    07 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 8

  4. Public Bookmark 44

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    Dan and Phil broke up in 2017. Today, Phil is a (slutty) gay media personality with a string of unsuccessful relationships and Dan is a (closeted) standup comedian with virtually no friends. The two of them have history — a lot of it. Stalkers, birthdays, suicide attempts and radio shows. Laughter, tears, codepency, growth. Much time has passed since they decided to put an end to all that.

    When Dan’s manager persuades him to go on Phil’s podcast in order to promote his new tour, the both of them reconnect, just as Dan is contemplating a public coming out. Meanwhile, having once again broken up with someone who wasn’t quite the one, Phil is starting to believe he might just not be made for relationships.

    Phil loved him a lot. A lot, a lot. You look nice today. You’re so funny. Let me touch you. Kiss me, fuck me, I love you. These are things he used to hear every day. They would call each other names until one of them ran out of steam and had to say I love you. Fuck. That prickling feeling behind his eyes again.

    Language:
    English
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    Chapters:
    9/11
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    21 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 9

  5. Public Bookmark 29

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    This story follows 19-year-old Dan Howell as he is institutionalized following a suicide attempt, and 23-year-old Phil Lester, who is a psychology student coming to Mendley Sanatorium to study a patient (Dan) as a part of his PHD dissertation. The two boys have an instant connection. Between lying, mental health, and professional scrutiny, the two boys have to navigate their connection and the effects it has on their work, both together and individually. Dan is a tortured soul with scars as deep as the ocean, and Phil is a gentle soul with a soft spot for poets.

    Language:
    English
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    112,422
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
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    108
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    29
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    14 Apr 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 21